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This episode marks a special reunion. Three years after her initial appearance on my podcast, Nj Shelsby returns to share her pivotal moments — from grappling with an autoimmune disease to redefining work-life balance. Drawing from her personal experiences and professional expertise, NJ offers a blueprint for achieving success without falling into burnout.
In this episode, Nj highlights the struggles many solopreneurs deal with, from getting caught up in too many tasks to being sidetracked by modern distractions. Learn the actionable strategies to take back control of your time and focus on what truly matters. We also discuss the power of authentic relationships, emphasizing platforms like LinkedIn as goldmines for meaningful connections.
Whether you're navigating the complexities of entrepreneurship or simply looking to enhance your productivity, this episode promises to inspire and equip you with actionable strategies.
In this episode, you’ll learn:
You can reach NJ at: nj@njshelsby.com
Website: http://www.njshelsby.com/
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/njshelsby/
Giveaway: Exercise they can use when their head is spinning because they have so much to do that they're just bouncing from one thing to the next but not completing anything. https://njshelsby.com/get-out-of-overwhelm/
A little about me:
I began my career as a teacher, was a corporate trainer for many years, and then found my niche training & supporting business owners, entrepreneurs & sales professionals to network at a world-class level. My passion is working with motivated people, who are coachable and who want to build their businesses through relationship marketing and networking (online & offline). I help my clients create retention strategies, grow through referrals, and create loyal customers by staying connected.
In appreciation for being here, I have a couple of items for you.
A LinkedIn Checklist for setting up your fully optimized Profile:
An opportunity to test drive the Follow Up system I recommend by taking the
10 Card Challenge – you won’t regret it.
Connect with me:
https://www.linkedin.com/in/janiceporter/
https://www.facebook.com/janiceporter1
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Mentioned in this episode:
LinkedIn Ad
Hello, everybody, and welcome to this week's
Janice Porter:episode of relationships rule. I am interviewing today a
Janice Porter:wonderful woman that I actually interviewed in the first year of
Janice Porter:my podcast, which seems like many, many moons ago, it because
Janice Porter:it is now it's over three years, and I'm pretty excited about it.
Janice Porter:And it's always good to revisit with people who have made
Janice Porter:changes grown in their businesses as well as things
Janice Porter:that have happened for me. So my guest today is MJ shells be
Janice Porter:welcome to the show, first of all,
Nj Shelby:thank you. It's great to be here.
Janice Porter:Thank you. And NJ is a productivity powerhouse. As
Janice Porter:a wife and mother who once worked in an intense corporate
Janice Porter:environment, and J experienced firsthand the damaging effects
Janice Porter:of long hours and stress. She developed an autoimmune disease
Janice Porter:and was forced to start working smarter, not harder. Now she
Janice Porter:takes what she's learned and helps other helps business
Janice Porter:owners and professionals gain control of their time, eliminate
Janice Porter:distractions, and focus on what really matters. So they can
Janice Porter:achieve a new level of success while working fewer hours. And
Janice Porter:honestly, I need some of that, I'll tell you, because
Janice Porter:sometimes, sometimes it's okay to just say, enough is enough
Janice Porter:and walk away for the day. But sometimes, things hang over your
Janice Porter:head, and it's like, Oh, my goodness, I didn't get it all
Janice Porter:done today. And it's frustrating. And being a
Janice Porter:solopreneur pretty much. That happens a lot. And I'm sure you
Janice Porter:hear that kind of complaint often. So first of all, let's
Janice Porter:back up and and come back to that. But I want to know what
Janice Porter:happened to you. And how long ago was this? And and what did
Janice Porter:that like? That changed a lot for you?
Nj Shelby:It did, because I was a workaholic. I mean that I
Nj Shelby:worked 24 hours straight, literally no exaggeration. I was
Nj Shelby:so caught up into you know, the BS story of this is important.
Nj Shelby:You know, I've got to do it. If I don't do it, it won't get
Nj Shelby:done. Right. You know, all that kind of thing.
Janice Porter:Were you climbing the corporate ladder? Yes, I
Nj Shelby:was climbing the corporate ladder. And, you know,
Nj Shelby:a couple of things happened. My, my dad died, I got a note that
Nj Shelby:my son left on the table. You know, Mom, how come I barely
Nj Shelby:ever see you anymore, you know, and being and then being
Nj Shelby:diagnosed with an autoimmune disease, which when when I got
Nj Shelby:the diagnosis, they thought it was lung cancer. And through the
Nj Shelby:weekend, you know, that's what I was dealing with. And then I got
Nj Shelby:the biopsy on Monday. And it was like, the good news is you don't
Nj Shelby:have cancer. The bad news is you have an autoimmune disease. And
Nj Shelby:so it really kind of woke me up to what was really important in
Nj Shelby:life. And I can see now that I didn't have too much to do,
Nj Shelby:right, I could have gotten it all done in less hours, I had a
Nj Shelby:focus problem. I wasn't I wasn't honoring my biology, you know, I
Nj Shelby:wasn't sleeping wasn't eating right. Well, you know, wasn't
Nj Shelby:doing those things. I wasn't honoring the biology of how the
Nj Shelby:brain works, right? We are hardwired for distraction. If
Nj Shelby:you imagine 1000s of years ago, you're collecting berries to
Nj Shelby:feed the family and you hear a rustling off in the bushes,
Nj Shelby:right, your alert system is going to go on guard because
Nj Shelby:it's probably something that's going to eat you. And so you had
Nj Shelby:to just be distracted by things like that. And so we still have
Nj Shelby:the same hard wiring. And today, it's you know, some software
Nj Shelby:company trying to get you to look at their screen, so that
Nj Shelby:they can make more money. But our biological systems don't
Nj Shelby:know the difference. And so, you know, we have to put in place
Nj Shelby:those kinds of things. And I didn't realize that back at the
Nj Shelby:time, you know, back in the day. And so the result was I was
Nj Shelby:working way too many hours and just burnt myself out to the
Nj Shelby:point that I got the autoimmune disease,
Janice Porter:and a son who was crying for help and needed
Janice Porter:Exactly, yeah. And thanks for sharing that. I I think though,
Janice Porter:that if that had happened today, do you think that you might have
Janice Porter:had maybe more of a nervous breakdown around it too or
Janice Porter:something because there's so much today so much information
Janice Porter:overload that back then, you know, you I don't think it was
Janice Porter:as I mean, it was definitely bad because it got you ill but you
Janice Porter:know what I'm saying right there. Right.
Nj Shelby:Well Well, it's interesting you say that because
Nj Shelby:one of the things that I didn't mention that, you know, one of
Nj Shelby:the triggering points is, I was driving to my doctor's office
Nj Shelby:for some appointment. And I had been there, like six or seven
Nj Shelby:times, and I couldn't remember how to get there. Now, this
Nj Shelby:isn't like, Oh, give me like a minute to figure it out. This is
Nj Shelby:10 or 15 minutes later, I still couldn't remember I had to call
Nj Shelby:my coworker who I carpooled with some times, and ask him how to
Nj Shelby:get there. And my doctor was very alarmed when I told him
Nj Shelby:what happened. And just with this, you know, and he was like,
Nj Shelby:one of these jolly, you know, good, you know, doctors who were
Nj Shelby:always smiling and laughing, and he had this just look on his
Nj Shelby:face of just total seriousness, and he said, You have to
Nj Shelby:immediately decrease your stress level. And so I hate to think
Nj Shelby:what today that would be like, exactly,
Janice Porter:yeah, oh, my goodness. Well, one of the
Janice Porter:things that will so now go fast forwarding to today, and what I
Janice Porter:just said about, you know, just feeling at the end of the day,
Janice Porter:that it's never going to end, I just have always got more and
Janice Porter:more things to do. What What's your comment to me around that?
Nj Shelby:Yeah. So see, a lot of that, though, is an illusion.
Nj Shelby:Yeah. And all these companies are, have gotten so good at
Nj Shelby:persuasive marketing, like, back in the day, you had a couple of
Nj Shelby:companies who were good at that, and you get these, you know,
Nj Shelby:letters in the mail, that you would open up and be like, Whoa,
Nj Shelby:and they'd suck you in? Yes, companies didn't know how to do
Nj Shelby:that kind of marketing today, you know, millions and millions
Nj Shelby:of companies do and they end up in your inbox. And so they're
Nj Shelby:convincing you that you have to do all of the things. And it's a
Nj Shelby:lie. Like, we were talking before you hit record, you know,
Nj Shelby:as solopreneurs, there's all of these things that you can do to
Nj Shelby:market your business. There's, you know, LinkedIn, and Facebook
Nj Shelby:and Instagram and YouTube and podcasts and, you know, right,
Nj Shelby:exactly. And every person who sells how to do that, they're
Nj Shelby:sending you emails, convincing you that business can't grow
Nj Shelby:without without that. And the reality is, you don't, you only
Nj Shelby:need to do one consistently. And then once you master that you
Nj Shelby:have the bandwidth, and it's all systematized, you can add
Nj Shelby:another one. But we get sucked into believing that we have to
Nj Shelby:do it all.
Janice Porter:It's true. It's really true. And it's funny,
Janice Porter:because when I'm training my clients around LinkedIn,
Janice Porter:sometimes on a first conversation, I'll hear them
Janice Porter:say, Well, I gotta get all my all my social media organized, I
Janice Porter:got to do my LinkedIn, and my Facebook and my Instagram, like,
Janice Porter:Wait, stop, I do. What do you do now? None of it will pick one.
Janice Porter:Let's start there, right? Even if it's not LinkedIn, I don't
Janice Porter:care you do, what feels right, and where your audience is,
Janice Porter:right? Because we I know it, I'm good when I'm telling other
Janice Porter:people, but I get caught in that trap, as well. And it's. So that
Janice Porter:brings me to actually so slowing down in different ways and
Janice Porter:accepting what maybe, I have decided is important for me.
Janice Porter:It's, I don't feel it's about convincing other people. It's
Janice Porter:about finding people who are like minded, and like that, that
Janice Porter:platform or that's where their audience is, and so I can help
Janice Porter:them. But one of the things that in my notes here from you,
Janice Porter:actually, is a comment about talk, let's talk about how even
Janice Porter:when, you know, it's essential to put in time to build
Janice Porter:relationships. It's difficult to find that time. So one of my
Janice Porter:things on LinkedIn is, I feel that that tool is underutilized
Janice Porter:in terms of creating and building relationships, because
Janice Porter:it's a goldmine. And I have said time and time again on my
Janice Porter:podcast. Here's a guest, guess what? I met them on LinkedIn.
Janice Porter:Here's another guest, guess what? I met them on LinkedIn.
Janice Porter:And so for me, I'm doing what very few people are doing is
Janice Porter:building those relationships. So that's what I like to do.
Janice Porter:Therefore, I find time to do it. Yes,
Nj Shelby:yes, exactly. And I think that today, we have all of
Nj Shelby:these things, fracturing our attention and focus Right, yeah,
Nj Shelby:you know, there's so many things that you could be spending your
Nj Shelby:time and so many things that are distracting you. And so what
Nj Shelby:happens is, your brain starts spinning, right? And going from,
Nj Shelby:you know, you go to work on one thing and you're like, oh, you
Nj Shelby:know, I almost forgot I have to do this. And oh, I have to
Nj Shelby:remote reply to that email. I'm guilty of that, right. And when
Nj Shelby:you're in that state of mind, unless you are like you and an
Nj Shelby:expert at using it, your brain is going to shut down, your
Nj Shelby:brain can't like, oh, let's do something new that we don't know
Nj Shelby:what to do. It's just going to keep saying, Okay, we're going
Nj Shelby:to do that later. We're going to do that later. Because it's
Nj Shelby:looking for what is urgent, and you know, the crisis to solve,
Nj Shelby:but it's deluding you as to what is really urgent and important.
Nj Shelby:And so it'll be responding to a test a text message that you
Nj Shelby:don't need to respond to or something. And so really, the
Nj Shelby:first step is to get your mind to settle down and stop
Nj Shelby:spinning. And to do that, you have to get out of your head,
Nj Shelby:all of the things that you have to do. And a lot of the mistake,
Nj Shelby:the mistake that I see a lot of people make is they just make
Nj Shelby:one long list. And that's a great starting point. But that's
Nj Shelby:overwhelming, like, and you can start with a mind dump. But if
Nj Shelby:you leave it there, you're more overwhelmed, because you have
Nj Shelby:this long list. Okay, so, you know, then you have to go
Nj Shelby:through it. And you know, what can I what is really not
Nj Shelby:important that I can cross off, somebody tried to convince me,
Nj Shelby:here's what I need to do, you know, I have to work on
Nj Shelby:Instagram, no, no, I've committed, I'm only going to
Nj Shelby:work one one platform at a time LinkedIn it is so I can cross
Nj Shelby:off the Instagram for right now. And then look at you know, what
Nj Shelby:can wait until, you know, next month, what can wait till next
Nj Shelby:week, and then take those things off of that, you know, kind of
Nj Shelby:like I normally like indicate, like, you know, M for next
Nj Shelby:month, you know, W for next week, until you really get down
Nj Shelby:to this limited number that Oh, my God, these are urgent have to
Nj Shelby:be done today, take another sheet of paper, and then just
Nj Shelby:today and just write those things down. So they got those
Nj Shelby:other things out of mind. And when you do that, then your
Nj Shelby:brain can kind of settle down, and it's not spinning
Nj Shelby:constantly, because it doesn't know where to start what to work
Nj Shelby:on. Because your brain doesn't know timewise it can't tell the
Nj Shelby:difference between, you know, an urgent thing that needs to be
Nj Shelby:done today. And an important thing that needs to be done in a
Nj Shelby:week, and just smashes it all together and tries to do them
Nj Shelby:all now.
Janice Porter:Yeah, I was having this conversation
Janice Porter:yesterday with a friend of mine who does some tech back and
Janice Porter:stuff for me. And I was saying that even with, you know, just
Janice Porter:looking at the three parts of my business, when it comes to just
Janice Porter:my podcast, I listed all these things that have to be done
Janice Porter:every week. And I don't want to be doing them. But they're
Janice Porter:taking up time that I am doing them. So, but But I I have this
Janice Porter:push me pull you thing around. If I don't do them? I'm not.
Janice Porter:Maybe it's not having not found the right person. I don't know.
Janice Porter:But I don't feel the trust of having someone else do these
Janice Porter:things. To my level of satisfaction. Right?
Nj Shelby:Right. And that's a common thing, I think that we go
Nj Shelby:through is that we, you know, we're afraid that people are
Nj Shelby:going to make us look bad. And I used to have that. Now, it's so
Nj Shelby:funny that, you know, I won't eat sometimes. You know, I've
Nj Shelby:had like my husband who is amazing with word sometimes he's
Nj Shelby:written emails for me, I don't even read them. I'm just like,
Nj Shelby:Okay, send it out. Like if I like, I just have to let it go.
Nj Shelby:Like I just don't even worry about that stuff anymore.
Janice Porter:But you have to train yourself to do that. I
Nj Shelby:did. I actually it's this kind of weird little thing
Nj Shelby:that we store emotions in our body. And that, you know, the
Nj Shelby:way that we're made is that you know the neurons fire they
Nj Shelby:release neuro peptides and were made to feel it and just feel it
Nj Shelby:fully and let it go right. When we're young things happen to us
Nj Shelby:that are very, you know, traumatic, you know, someone on
Nj Shelby:the playground bullying you or you know your sibling laughing
Nj Shelby:and you whatever it is right that but for us as kids, it's
Nj Shelby:traumatic and we don't feel the emotions fully. We are just kind
Nj Shelby:of push them down. And what it does is it kind of creates this
Nj Shelby:connection chip from the neuron firing to the neuro peptides
Nj Shelby:being released. And so unconsciously, we don't even
Nj Shelby:realize it, we have these feelings that kind of come up.
Nj Shelby:And then our unconscious mind is like, Oh, I don't want to feel
Nj Shelby:that. So therefore, I'm going to change behavior in order to
Nj Shelby:avoid that. So let's say something happened, when you
Nj Shelby:were in, you know, third grade, and you stood up to do a
Nj Shelby:presentation in class, and somebody made a joke, and
Nj Shelby:everybody laughed, right? You don't want to look stupid. So
Nj Shelby:therefore, when you think about outsourcing and having someone
Nj Shelby:else do something, unconsciously, you're not even
Nj Shelby:aware. It triggers, you know, the neurons fire these neuro
Nj Shelby:peptides are released. And there's a subtle feeling in the
Nj Shelby:body, that your unconscious mind is like, Yep, let's divert her
Nj Shelby:attention away from that. So basically, I, you know, had to
Nj Shelby:go through and release all of that, so that there wasn't that
Nj Shelby:connection. You know, it's kind of like Pavlov's dog. Right?
Nj Shelby:Yeah. Where, you know, by flooding the neurons so that it,
Nj Shelby:it breaks that connection, and then it's just gone. So did you
Nj Shelby:do that yourself?
Janice Porter:Yeah. Oh, wow. Okay, so that takes some
Janice Porter:dedication and work to, to do that, for
Nj Shelby:sure. I love personal development work. I love to
Nj Shelby:grow. So it's kind of for me, that's my fun. My husband makes
Nj Shelby:fun of me. You know, to him. It's like pulling teeth. Yeah.
Janice Porter:Like, yeah, we have the same the same issue
Janice Porter:there. So I saw something that you had responded to, or someone
Janice Porter:was talking about? What were they talking about? Just a
Janice Porter:second. They were talking about? Oh, about unsubscribing to
Janice Porter:different emails. And and you said it's easy to hit delete,
Janice Porter:without realizing all those emails, eat away at your
Janice Porter:decision bandwidth. This is me, okay. Like, if you knew how many
Janice Porter:emails were in my inbox, he would die. By midday, many
Janice Porter:people are in decision fatigue and end up putting off important
Janice Porter:decisions. When we unsubscribe, we're blocking out future
Janice Porter:decisions from eating away our focus and our ability to make
Janice Porter:decisions. That was your comment, and I love that. But
Janice Porter:excuse me, it takes time to go and do all that. unsubscribing
Janice Porter:actually,
Nj Shelby:it doesn't. Okay, talk to me, there is a program
Nj Shelby:on Maelstrom m a i l s t r o m. And I can't. It's some nominal
Nj Shelby:fee. You know, it used to be, you know, like, 499, I think it
Nj Shelby:might be up to 899 a month, but you don't need more than one
Nj Shelby:month, right. And what it does is it loads your inbox, and you
Nj Shelby:can like bulk unsubscribe. And I've had clients who've had like
Nj Shelby:4000 emails in their inbox and clear them out, including
Nj Shelby:unsubscribing in and our
Janice Porter:about 37,000. Okay,
Nj Shelby:so you know, but think about it, if you've got
Nj Shelby:1000 emails from a person, it doesn't take any longer to
Nj Shelby:unsubscribe and delete using Maelstrom benefits 100 from that
Nj Shelby:person. So, you know, so it's just a matter of how long
Nj Shelby:you've, you know, it's not like you've got 10 emails from, you
Nj Shelby:know, 3700 people, you got, you know, probably 50 Different
Nj Shelby:people who are sending you hundreds of emails.
Janice Porter:I know. It's unbelievable. Anyway, so. So
Janice Porter:more and more today, people aren't able to focus, right, we
Janice Porter:say that we have to grab someone's attention in the first
Janice Porter:few seconds, or it's never going to happen, right? It's even less
Janice Porter:than seven seconds anymore. Right? So. So what's your advice
Janice Porter:to people? Do we worry about that when we're marketing? Or do
Janice Porter:we just do what makes us feel more Zim?
Nj Shelby:I feel like it's a combination. I don't feel like
Nj Shelby:you need to use a marketing strategy that's in alignment
Nj Shelby:with you. If you like doing video, do video if you like
Nj Shelby:writing, do writing. You have to do what's in alignment. And I
Nj Shelby:think we have to not be boring. You know, like we have to be
Nj Shelby:kind of strategic about what we're saying and make sure that
Nj Shelby:we're taking our point of view so that it's about us that we're
Nj Shelby:not just, you know, putting out more and more content that's the
Nj Shelby:same as what everybody else also saying, but we need a unique
Nj Shelby:point of view that we're putting out there. You know, and we need
Nj Shelby:to be a little bit strategic about putting it out in a way
Nj Shelby:that might capture people's attention, but don't waste their
Nj Shelby:time saying stuff that they already know. Okay, so that's a
Nj Shelby:really interesting point. Because for me, and this is
Nj Shelby:where I'm trying to develop better right now is
Janice Porter:it's about it's about telling stories, from your
Janice Porter:perspective, so people get a glimpse of you, as well as it's
Janice Porter:more interesting. You know, they say they want facts, tell
Janice Porter:stories, sell facts, tell stories, sell,
Nj Shelby:or hard wired for stories, right? Yeah.
Janice Porter:And and so in doing that in a better way, in
Janice Porter:telling a story about an experience that you've had
Janice Porter:around whatever it is that you're talking about, you're
Janice Porter:building relationship with people without realizing it,
Janice Porter:right? Yes,
Nj Shelby:yes. And people read those. It's funny. We're all so
Nj Shelby:busy, we don't have time to read things. But when someone is
Nj Shelby:telling a story, you slow down your scroll, and you actually
Nj Shelby:don't read it. So yeah,
Janice Porter:I've noticed that in like my newsletter, when I do
Janice Porter:my introduction, and, you know, I had, well, I was forced to
Janice Porter:slow down because I sprained my ankle two weeks ago tomorrow.
Janice Porter:And, and I said this in my newsletter, and it was amazing
Janice Porter:how many people reached out and said, oh, sorry, speedy
Janice Porter:recovery, do your exercises, all that stuff. So then your your,
Janice Porter:and they were people I didn't expect. Right, right. So that's
Janice Porter:when you think, Oh, I do have people out there that are
Janice Porter:reading my newsletter. Thank you, you know, appreciate that.
Janice Porter:And those are relationships that they're going on that are
Janice Porter:building without you realizing it. Yes, yeah, I like that. I
Janice Porter:like that a lot. You say that. It's so much easier now to reach
Janice Porter:people and to start new connections and relationships,
Janice Porter:but if not managed, it can steal our time. And leave us
Janice Porter:disconnected. Tell me what you mean by that?
Nj Shelby:Well, I think that social media, it's so easy to
Nj Shelby:spend time during the scroll, you know, and not really
Nj Shelby:connecting, zoning out. And so it's easier to connect to people
Nj Shelby:like I have a friend in Florida, who I graduated high school
Nj Shelby:with. And the only way we connect is, you know, stay in
Nj Shelby:touch is through social media. But yet, when my husband and I
Nj Shelby:go to Florida to visit his parents, I drive an hour, and we
Nj Shelby:go spend a couple of hours and I visit with her. But if I didn't
Nj Shelby:have social media as a as a way to stay connected, I wouldn't. I
Nj Shelby:would never, you know, have that are awkward, right? It would be,
Nj Shelby:I just, I wouldn't reach out to her I wouldn't, you know, and so
Nj Shelby:I feel like it gives us an opportunity. And it gives us a
Nj Shelby:way in I mean, you hear all these stories of people who have
Nj Shelby:been able to connect with, you know, CEOs or you know, somebody
Nj Shelby:through responding to a post that they made on LinkedIn or
Nj Shelby:something I saw on LinkedIn that Richard Branson had posted
Nj Shelby:something about dyslexia, and somebody commented, and he
Nj Shelby:commented back, like, how many people could say that they had a
Nj Shelby:correspondence with Richard Branson. So social media gives
Nj Shelby:us all these opportunities, but you have to be on guard and put
Nj Shelby:it into you have to have rules. And you know, kind of like,
Nj Shelby:remember when you were learning to bowl as a kid and they put
Nj Shelby:the little gutters, things, the guards in the gutters to keep
Nj Shelby:you from the gutter balls, like, we need guardrails in place like
Nj Shelby:that. Otherwise, it can totally steal your attention. And have
Nj Shelby:you disconnected and you're just you're just in that zombie mode
Nj Shelby:where you're just scrolling and not really connecting.
Janice Porter:Yeah, and and today, I suppose that's what
Janice Porter:keeps people going 24/7 as well, you know? Yeah, it's, it can be
Janice Porter:it can be educational, and it can be really interesting, but
Janice Porter:it can also suck your time like you cannot yeah, there's it's
Janice Porter:impossible
Nj Shelby:to keep up. I mean, you and I are about the same
Nj Shelby:age. You remember, you know back when you know when you and I or
Nj Shelby:joining the workforce, business owners executives. They had, you
Nj Shelby:know, a telephone, they had a day planner, and they had a
Nj Shelby:secretary who open their mail and then put stuff in their
Nj Shelby:inbox. Yeah, really the important stuff. And you
Nj Shelby:contrast that to today, where nobody's opening your mail. And
Nj Shelby:and you have these, this gateway of all of this stuff to come at
Nj Shelby:you. Yeah. And there's just absolutely no way to have enough
Nj Shelby:time to do it all. So we have to know like, what are our
Nj Shelby:priorities and say, okay, LinkedIn is the marketing, you
Nj Shelby:know, method that I'm going to use for the next year. And
Nj Shelby:that's it. And either unsubscribe or automatically
Nj Shelby:filter anything that is these other things away, so that
Nj Shelby:you're not even having it come into your awareness?
Janice Porter:Yeah, so that's hard to do for people who are
Janice Porter:curious people like me, right? See,
Nj Shelby:that's just it. Yeah, you are curious. And because
Nj Shelby:you're curious, and the fact that these people are so good at
Nj Shelby:grabbing your attention, if it hits your inbox, you're gonna
Nj Shelby:want to read it. Yeah. And the reality is, you don't have the
Nj Shelby:time to read it all. So you will either let who's the best person
Nj Shelby:at making headlines or writing headlines for their email to get
Nj Shelby:your attention? Or you let it be what's important to you to get
Nj Shelby:your attention? You have to decide?
Janice Porter:Yes. And then, as I also mentioned, before we went
Janice Porter:on air, I had, between a two hours between my interview this
Janice Porter:morning and this interview, oh, I had one more call before this
Janice Porter:one that I was going to run out, actually, and get some Christmas
Janice Porter:stuff I still had to get. But my daughter texted me and said,
Janice Porter:What are you busy? Do you need help? Or, you know, whatever. I
Janice Porter:said, I'm actually available between 11. And one, because I
Janice Porter:gave up that time if she needed me. And sure enough, off, you
Janice Porter:know, my granddaughter stayed with me for an hour and a half
Janice Porter:while she went to do what she needed to do. And then they left
Janice Porter:because she respected that my time was needed elsewhere. But I
Janice Porter:did drop everything. Yeah, because that was
Nj Shelby:more important. Exactly. And see, here's the
Nj Shelby:thing. Not everybody can even do that. No, I was just gonna say
Nj Shelby:that. Yeah, but the more clarity we have, and the more order that
Nj Shelby:we have, that we can do that, you know, like, I had to do a
Nj Shelby:call this morning, with my husband's cardiologist a virtual
Nj Shelby:call that I mean, I didn't know until yesterday that it was
Nj Shelby:going to be and it was easy to just put that in there. You
Nj Shelby:know, because I have enough control and enough, you know,
Nj Shelby:knowledge of what's important and waiting out and, and knowing
Nj Shelby:like, I mean, my brain gets overwhelmed just like everybody
Nj Shelby:else is, but I know, it's not reality. It's not that I have
Nj Shelby:too much to do. It's that my brain is not was not built for
Nj Shelby:modern society. And so I just have to go through these steps
Nj Shelby:to calm it down and get things into perspective. Plug, my focus
Nj Shelby:leaks up. And then everything settles down, and I can focus.
Nj Shelby:Well, sometimes I feel that by doing what I did earlier today,
Nj Shelby:I'm going to suffer for it later. Because I have to get
Nj Shelby:that piece done that I didn't get done. Right. But yeah, it is
Nj Shelby:what it is. So how do you, you know?
Janice Porter:So how do you manage it all? Just how to Yes.
Janice Porter:And
Nj Shelby:here's the thing, it's not about managing it. All
Nj Shelby:right, you're never going to get it all done. But one of the
Nj Shelby:things, the secrets that I think is critical is knowing what is
Nj Shelby:most important as at the end of your day, you need to be very
Nj Shelby:clear on what is the most important things that you have
Nj Shelby:to do tomorrow, and then have focused time in the morning,
Nj Shelby:that that's what you get done. First thing in the morning
Nj Shelby:before you get on your computer before you look at your phone
Nj Shelby:before you do anything. You put time into that critical time.
Nj Shelby:And then no matter what happens in your day, you're golden,
Nj Shelby:because you got those critical things done.
Janice Porter:And they and you're referring that they might
Janice Porter:be work related or they might not be
Nj Shelby:right. Yeah, okay. Okay. Yeah, that's great. It's
Nj Shelby:you know, and I generally have clients have buckets of time of,
Nj Shelby:you know, focus time in the morning. That's like your Deep
Nj Shelby:Work. And then in the afternoon, it's, you know, more one client
Nj Shelby:likes to call them quick tasks, right? That it's not things that
Nj Shelby:require, like that deep focus. And then you have those a bucket
Nj Shelby:of time in the afternoon, where your mind isn't as fresh and
Nj Shelby:they don't take as long don't require the same amount of
Nj Shelby:focus, so that when you get interrupted, it doesn't really
Nj Shelby:derail something. But if you're working on something that
Nj Shelby:requires deep focus, and you're interrupted, Oh, forget it kind
Nj Shelby:of wasted that time. Yes, I agree, pulls you out. And then
Nj Shelby:you know, it takes you 15 minutes to get back in it. You
Nj Shelby:were quoting earlier?
Janice Porter:What I recall to be Stephen Covey's seven habits
Janice Porter:that the grid that he uses about important and urgent and
Janice Porter:important and all of that, do you do? Is that part of what you
Janice Porter:do and how you teach?
Nj Shelby:Yeah, I, I mean, I followed Stephen Covey back in
Nj Shelby:the day, and it's also referred to as the Eisenhower matrix,
Nj Shelby:some people right, you're right. Yeah, that way. I've never heard
Nj Shelby:that. But until Yeah, I think he, I think he took took that
Nj Shelby:and then just, you know, for his business on it. But I, I don't
Nj Shelby:actually do it that way anymore. Because I find that it's about,
Nj Shelby:you know, understanding what is important to me, right? And, and
Nj Shelby:then from there, minimizing the number of active projects that
Nj Shelby:I'm working on. And, and so that means putting stuff on the
Nj Shelby:backburner and snowing like these are coming up, because
Nj Shelby:what we tend to do is spread ourselves really thin. And we do
Nj Shelby:a little bit of this, a little bit of this, a little bit of
Nj Shelby:this a little bit of but nothing can get done, because we're
Nj Shelby:spreading our time and focus out amongst so many different
Nj Shelby:projects. And then we're overwhelmed, because we've got
Nj Shelby:too many things that we're trying to juggle all at once.
Nj Shelby:Yeah, sure, I found that if instead, instead of doing
Nj Shelby:things, you know, all at the same time trying to get things
Nj Shelby:done, if instead, you limit it to like four to seven, depending
Nj Shelby:upon the complexity, and that includes work in personal Yeah,
Nj Shelby:right, all at one time, and then you wait until you get something
Nj Shelby:done. And then you can move something over, or maybe
Nj Shelby:something in your active project, it's in a waiting
Nj Shelby:period. So then you can move it off, like you submitted a
Nj Shelby:proposal for or for a job, and you're waiting to hear back. So
Nj Shelby:now that can go into the waiting bucket. But doing that it tends
Nj Shelby:to settle things down. So in the mornings, it's usually focused
Nj Shelby:on those projects, and then all the like, the little
Nj Shelby:administrative things and that kind of thing. That's more in
Nj Shelby:the afternoon.
Janice Porter:So let's in wrapping up, let's talk about
Janice Porter:just give me three top things, then that one should be aware of
Janice Porter:to be able to focus more, and get rid of those focus leaks.
Nj Shelby:Doing the stop your head from spinning, I think that
Nj Shelby:is step one. Step two, doing your morning routine such that
Nj Shelby:you have focused time in the morning. And I think that having
Nj Shelby:routines, as opposed to just all of these tasks that you can, it
Nj Shelby:can be so overwhelming to think of, you know, a million tasks
Nj Shelby:when some of them can be kind of rolled up into a routine that's
Nj Shelby:scheduled for once a week. And I think another thing is we lose a
Nj Shelby:lot of time spinning because we're procrastinating because
Nj Shelby:we're not exactly sure what to do. Like we might have an item
Nj Shelby:on our list to you know, connect with Lisa, what what does that
Nj Shelby:mean? You know, that's not actionable, but instead
Nj Shelby:something like you know, send a LinkedIn message to Lisa or, you
Nj Shelby:know, send a card to Lisa or something. Yeah, but having it
Nj Shelby:be you know, a verb that is something that you're going to
Nj Shelby:do that's very clear.
Janice Porter:And do you make lists?
Nj Shelby:I do. I do make lists. I have to I have an idea
Nj Shelby:generator. People who have worked closely with me, then
Nj Shelby:they laugh and make fun of me because I mean, it's an idea
Nj Shelby:minute, and so I have to get them out of my head. And so that
Nj Shelby:I'm not thinking about them, but the reality is there's not
Nj Shelby:enough time or people to get them all done. And so then I
Nj Shelby:have to really be ruthless and going through them. And okay,
Nj Shelby:this just isn't realistic. This isn't on brand this, you know,
Nj Shelby:and just get rid of them. So and then I do I, I have a pad that I
Nj Shelby:have that has a list down the right hand side, and then it's
Nj Shelby:like a grid paper for notes during the day. And so I'll take
Nj Shelby:from my lists, and then say, Okay, here's what I need to get
Nj Shelby:done today, um, handwrite it out. And then I've got a place
Nj Shelby:to write notes during the day. Awesome.
Janice Porter:I'm at the point at the end of this year now
Janice Porter:where I have to re organize my office again, because that will
Janice Porter:make me feel like I can have a fresh start in the year. I know,
Janice Porter:it's just one of those things. This is delightful. I could ask
Janice Porter:you a million questions. How can people find you? And what are
Janice Porter:you working on that? They might be that my audience might be
Janice Porter:interested in people like me, right? So you do this? Is it a
Janice Porter:morning webinar? What is it that I
Nj Shelby:saw? Yeah, so I've got a workshop coming up two
Nj Shelby:dates in in January, I'm not sure when this will air, but
Nj Shelby:there's one January 5, and one January 19, that are all about
Nj Shelby:getting your setting your morning up to be able to focus.
Nj Shelby:And so we'll be dealing with the being able to not look at your
Nj Shelby:phone first thing in the morning. So we'll do some of
Nj Shelby:that processing those stored emotions that we talked about,
Nj Shelby:to make it easy to ignore your phone in the morning. And so all
Nj Shelby:the things so it's, it's an all day workshop, but it's not. It's
Nj Shelby:like we'll take breaks for you to work and get done what's
Nj Shelby:critical, so that you feel like at the end of the day, you've
Nj Shelby:had your most productive day other ever. So my website is and
Nj Shelby:j shows b.com. And there's something on the homepage to
Nj Shelby:link to that. And also, when I was talking about the first step
Nj Shelby:of being able to focus is to get your head to stop spinning. If
Nj Shelby:you go to n j shells b.com/overwhelm There is a video
Nj Shelby:that will step you through a process to be able to get your
Nj Shelby:brain to
Janice Porter:focus. Yes. Okay, so if this doesn't Aaron time,
Janice Porter:remind me send me something and I'll post on LinkedIn about your
Janice Porter:workshop because it sounds like something I should probably do.
Janice Porter:And I love the idea. So thank you so much for being here
Janice Porter:today. I think we overstayed our welcome. I seem to be doing that
Janice Porter:a lot lately. fascinated with my guests, but it's my show. So
Janice Porter:there you go. I just hope that I have people listened. So there
Janice Porter:you go. Thank you again for being here and for your
Janice Porter:brilliance because it does make people think like me think about
Janice Porter:what's important and what isn't. Well, thank
Nj Shelby:you for having me. As always, it's a pleasure talking
Nj Shelby:with you. You're very welcome.
Janice Porter:And remember, thank you for listening to my
Janice Porter:audience and remember to stay connected and be remembered
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