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YouTube May 12, 2023
TOP #4: How To Live Life Driven By Love, Not Fear ft. Laura Krause
Are you living in fear of sin?
This may not be easy to pinpoint in your own life right away, so here are some questions to ask yourself:
- are you terrified that your spouse will look at porn?
- does the possibility of your children being exposed to various sins keep you awake at night?
- do you find yourself spending a lot of energy trying to control other people's choices?
Laura Krause is a wife, mom, prayer warrior & church planter who has been set free from fear's grip on her life by the perfect love of Christ. She shares the story of how the Lord completely changed her perspective: Our goal is not to build sin-proof marriages. Our goal is not to prevent our kids from being exposed to anything immoral.
The goal should be to create such safe and loving relationships, that sin will not destroy them.
When we live in anxiety and fear of sin, we elevate sin itself instead of Christ and His redemptive work on the cross. Redemption is better than perfection. When we sin, we have an Advocate in heaven who is abounding in steadfast love, ready to forgive and restore.
1 John 2:1 says, "My dear children, I am writing this to you so that you will not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate who pleads our case before the Father. He is Jesus Christ, the one who is truly righteous."
Heart of Man movie - http://heartofmanmovie.com/
If Jesus Were a Parent by Hal Perkins - https://discipledbyjesus.org/
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Welcome to head to Heart
podcast.
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I'm your host Jenny Markham.
This Bi weekly podcast is
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designed to be a safe space to
admit where we truly believe in
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our hearts.
There's a huge difference
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between having biblical
knowledge floating around in our
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heads and actually believing
that it's true.
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Until God's truth makes its way
into our hearts.
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Nothing changes will be doing a
mix of solo episodes and
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interviews with friends.
Those who have experienced the
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freedom that comes, when head
knowledge becomes heart.
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Knowledge will talk about
overcoming lies in our
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relationships, mental health
struggles and the way we see
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ourselves, the truth will set
you free so that you can walk
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every day in the freedom.
God desires for you.
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It's time to let go of those
pressures insecurities and
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burdens.
That's not yours to carry.
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Thanks for joining us.
Welcome back to head to Heart
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podcast.
I'm your host Jenny Markham.
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I'm bringing a very special
guest who I've waited quite a
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while to ask to be on this
podcast, but we have the
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wonderful Laura Krauss with us.
Laura, will you just introduce
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yourself who you are?
What you do family and one fun
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fact.
Yeah, I'm Laura Kraus.
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I am a wife of Ken and we have
six children ages. 6:42, we have
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five boys, one girl.
And I gave a big chunk of my
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life to homeschooling them and
staying at home with them and
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then we transitioned to a public
school.
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And so when we transition the
kids out of the home, I prayed a
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lot about what to do next with
my time and an opportunity
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opened up for me to disciple
college students.
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So Jenny and I work together and
we pray and minister to college.
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That's so it's super fun.
Life-giving fact are a fun fact
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about me.
I can be life-giving.
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That's fine.
Well, maybe maybe this will be
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like a weed.
I don't know, or geology.
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I grew up traveling.
I grew up driving all over the
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United States or flying all
over.
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My dad was in the military and
then he was a pilot for a local
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Airline and so well also an
International Airline and so
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that gave us fly in benefits.
So we traveled a lot and when
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Became a parrot that was just a
high value to me to travel with
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the kids.
So my kids had not moved at all,
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like I moved but I had a goal of
bringing them to 48 states
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before they graduated high
school and we just finished that
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goal this summer.
So I finished it a little
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earlier than I thought but I had
our first graduate this summer
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and so I felt like I needed to
get it in for him and once I got
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it in for him I thought I think
I'll just complete it for
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everybody.
So we Visited All, 48 states
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took us 12 years to reach that
goal and every kid now has been
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to it.
So you might be saying, how did
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the seven-year-old get them all
in?
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Will the seven-year-old was
gonna say, I was like, just the
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seven-year-old.
Remember all know the
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seven-year-old?
Does it?
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And the seven-year-old had some
repeats?
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So, a few of them were repeats,
but I got the seven-year-old on
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track with everybody else.
And once I got the
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seven-year-old on track, I
thought, let's just finish the
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whole.
Let's just now, we now we need a
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new goal.
I don't know, maybe the other
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To.
I the kids keep saying what
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about Alaska and Hawaii and I
say if you want to pay for
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Hawaii, you can a last look at
is tempting to do a drive to
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Alaska.
So very tempting.
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Some will see I'm chewing on
that.
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Yeah I think that would be a
whole summer commitment at least
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a month unit if we did Alaska
because you don't want to turn
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around and come home to drive
through Canada.
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Yeah.
You're going to stay for a
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little bit.
So we'll see and show them your
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old stomping grounds.
I don't know.
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So Laura What have you been set
free from take us through the
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story?
Yeah, I really love.
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I was sharing with someone
recently.
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I have a clear perspective on
how to view sin in the context
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of marriage and family, but also
in the context of just your
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friendships and those that you
relate with, we had some friends
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come over.
This is years ago, but we have
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some friends come over and They
were a young couple they'd only
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been married about a year and
they were really struggling
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because their mentors had
recently announced that the
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husband had engaged in some form
of infidelity and it was
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absolutely devastating to this
young couple and they came over
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to our house to have us.
Pray for them and encourage
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them.
And as I Preston to like what
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they were feeling it was really
the guy that broke down, and he
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said, if this mentoring couple
of hours who I loved and
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cherished and respected so much,
if they couldn't walk in Purity
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and Fidelity to one another, how
in the world can I ever dream of
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that?
Now, remember, he's a, he's a
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young married man and so, He has
a young Christian married man.
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So he has every ambition in his
mind of being faithful to his
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wife and wanting to do
everything in his pair power to
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walk and faithfulness to her.
And when his hero so to speak
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Falls it left him.
Trembling wondering if he as
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well when make the same mistake
so it broke my heart.
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Now his there, Mentors happen to
also be some of our very good
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friends and I had also been a
processing that journey of these
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mentors as well, and how it was
impacting me and something came
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really clear to me.
And it was, when we gathered
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around this young couple and we
said, can we just pray for you?
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Because the particularly one of
them was quite broken.
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Hearted we gathered around him
and we prayed and I felt like
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the Lord spoke to me and I'll
call him John, his name is on
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John but I said, John, your goal
in marriage is to not build a
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sin proof marriage.
Because if you're Desiring to
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build a sin proof marriage, you
will fail.
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You will feel your goal is to
build.
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Such a safe place in marriage.
So that if failure cap'n's on
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either of your parts, you have
such a safe landing.
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In ground that you can share
your vulnerability and your
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weakness with your spouse.
So it was really powerful Jenny,
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I reframed in that moment as I
was praying for him.
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Also how I viewed failure from
they're going forward and this
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is quite a while ago, but I
everything shifted in my mind, I
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thought our our goal as married
couples.
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Is to not build perfection.
Because there is only one
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perfect man and that was Jesus,
we should never be aiming for
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Perfection.
Now, we don't want to cultivate
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sin in our life.
That's not what I'm saying, but
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if your aim is perfection, you
will be left in want constantly
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because you cannot live a
perfect life.
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But if your aim is building
trust security, safety, honesty
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sincerity, then you can actively
build that and it puts you on
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the offensive rather than on the
defensive.
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In your marriage, you are off
fensively preparing for whatever
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comes your way, you can be
productive and Prairie preparing
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for that.
You can engage in it versus.
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If you're just afraid of sin,
you're completely on the
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defensive and you're living in
fear.
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And so one actually gives you
hope and engagement and shows
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you what to do in productivity
and building a marriage and one
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puts you in anxiety, and fear,
and stress.
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Yeah.
It's really good.
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So, to summarize, am I getting
this right?
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When you're saying like, we want
to be so secure in the Lord and
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then bring that love to the
people around us, like our
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friends, our spouse, our kids,
whatever.
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It may be that When sin comes,
it's not something that's going
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to tear us down, or it's not
something that's going to
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completely uproot us, right?
Because our route is in Christ,
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right?
Yeah.
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Our route has never been put in
sinlessness.
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It.
Yeah, Ephesians says that we are
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rooted and established in love
and so our roots in Christ have
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nothing to do with our
perfection.
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Or anything we've done or not
done our roots in Christ are
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solely based on what he's done
so there's great freedom for
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failure and our walk with Jesus.
He is actually built into him.
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The one of my favorite words in
Hebrew is has said and has said
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is translated as unfailing, love
or steadfast love.
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But the direct translation of
what he said means is a love.
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That is not based on Fidelity
but base Merci.
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So when you hear a hiss when you
hear unfailing love the
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steadfast love of the Lord,
never ceases.
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What you're hearing is built
into God's relationship.
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With us is great capacity to
cover our failures which we know
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at the cross, it's in bread and
our covenant relationship with
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him.
Therefore, it should also be in
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our relationship with each
other.
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That we don't have strict
requirements of perfection.
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We have great grace, and Great
Mercy was just reading this
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morning in Matthew 5.
That blessed are the merciful
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for They will receive Mercy.
It is a blessed place to give
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one another mercy and have a
merciful relationship.
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So it really changed how I
viewed security and marriage.
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And and also then how I wanted
to raise our kids that we do not
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have to be afraid of sin.
We don't cultivate sin.
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We don't seek to have sinned but
we know what to do when we sin.
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Yeah.
Yeah.
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Instead of just shoving it down.
Yeah.
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Oh shame.
I have to hide it, right?
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Yeah, that's really powerful.
So if someone's listening this,
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they're like, am I living in
fear of sin?
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How could they recognize if
they're living in fear of sin or
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not?
I think fear.
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I think, you know, when you're
afraid when you when the thought
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of someone sitting around, you
either your spouse or what if my
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kid or what if my husband and he
creates such fear and anxiety.
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In your soul, that's fearing it.
And I think one of my favorite
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verses is perfect, love casts
out fear because fear has to do
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with punishment so so knowing
Sometimes just knowing that
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doesn't always solve it, but
then I go back to my
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relationship with Christ.
What does Jesus do with me?
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When I sin?
How does he deal with me?
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And maybe you're not realizing
how mercifully kind and
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restorative the cross is and
maybe you need to be reminded of
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that.
Then he deals gently with those
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who run away.
We were just talking last night
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with children and a kids class.
I was part of we spent a lot of
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time studying sheeps and
Shepherds and we talked about
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how Leave the 99 and go after
the one and the kids really
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picked up on the fact that he
carries the one back on his
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shoulder.
Jesus is very kind with a
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repented broken heart, he's very
kind when he deals with us and
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our struggle.
It's a Good Shepherd.
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Yes.
In what ways has this impacted?
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How you parent now, that has
been really huge for me, as our
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kids got older.
So I mentioned we had six kids
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and we are raising our children
and a generation where everybody
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has the internet and all options
in their pocket on their
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telephone.
So they can have, they can have
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exposure to anything anything at
such a high level so quickly way
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quicker than any of us ever had
when we were younger.
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And so well.
I'm 45.
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So I know I did not have that
when I was younger.
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So as a loving Christian mother
my thought was no internet and
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no phones ever in our house.
And so we didn't have TVs and we
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didn't have, we had the internet
but it was like, so highly
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managed and I myself wouldn't
try to use it again.
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This is a while ago, I tried to
so limit and protect what they
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could potentially be exposed to
and So I subtly as time went on,
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I realized I was acting entirely
out of fear.
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I was not fearing the Lord, I
was fearing sin and the Damage
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that it could do and I was and I
realized that I was actually
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elevating the power of sin over
the power of God and his
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Redemption.
And so when you're so afraid of
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for me, I was so afraid of my
children being exposed to
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pornography and, and the things
that could come through the
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phone and I And I saw how
damaging it was so I was just
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going to Great Lengths to not
have phones.
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Now, the problem that I realized
really quickly, we had been
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youth pastors a couple decades
ago and I realized I was
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reproducing something that I did
not want to that I had seen in
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some of the youth that we had
worked and what I was
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reproducing was you're
eliminating all these things
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from your home and you're
assuming that at 18, your child
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will go out and and know how to
Manage all these things.
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If they've never been exposed to
them in the home and that was
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super eye-opening, I realized
that they had never had a phone,
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they wouldn't have been
strengthened by their own will
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and working with the Lord and
growing in maturity and growing
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in self control and self
discipline.
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If I constantly controlled it
and I realized the moment, our
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children are going to go out the
door.
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Of course, they're going to get
a phone, our culture uses
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phones, and if they had never,
ever, ever had a phone in their
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pocket, they would have Never
developed.
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Any internal system on how to
handle sin?
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How to handle when something
pops up on your phone?
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If they've never had it.
And I thought I'm playing the
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wrong game here.
I don't need to do, like, I
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don't need to be so fearful, I
need to give them the skills,
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the grace, the mercy, under our
own roof.
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Just to say, I don't want you to
sin, but if you sin here is your
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way out, here's how you talk to
the Lord, or here's how you the
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filters you could put on your
phone, you can choose to put on
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your phone, that will help.
Pew.
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So, I realized being afraid of
sin was actually elevating sin.
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It was, I was almost worshiping
it.
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I was almost making it such an
idol.
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And the Lord was like, okay.
So what if your kids get exposed
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to pornography?
They have, they have someone who
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can forgive them.
They have someone that can wash
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them.
They have someone that can
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redeem them.
Because Redemption is better
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than Perfection.
We are not aiming for
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Perfection.
We're not aiming for a perfect
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marriage.
We're not aiming for perfect
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pair anywhere.
Framing for redeemed, people who
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know that, when they send, they
have an advocate in heaven, they
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have a father that will cleanse
them.
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Yeah, I think it's Psalm 130
verse 7.
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It says like, put your hope in
the Lord because he brings a
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bunt know he brings redemption
in abundance.
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Yeah, I love that her.
Yeah, amen.
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Amen, he's slow to get angry.
He's abounding in steadfast love
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and mercy.
Psalm 145.
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How how much more powerful that
you and your spouse?
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Are you your children?
They're in our trained quickly
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to run to the throne of grace of
find help in their hour of need.
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If there's never been an hour to
need, then they won't run boldly
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to the throne of grace, to find
that help.
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So, how cool if you can,
establish a culture of Grace, a
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culture of forgiveness, a
culture of freedom in your home,
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that again, you're not licensing
them to sin but you're training
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them to run boldly to the throne
of grace.
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When something happens, Jesus is
Love, is far more powerful than
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00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:47,000
fear and his forgiveness is far
more powerful than Than than a
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00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,800
sin that we could do it really
is his Love Actually will never
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fail.
Its unfailing love versus Sin
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that you think can do so much
are recoverable damage.
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That's actually why we have the
cross.
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Yeah I bet you're all.
So I know you're also preventing
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this feeling in your kids like
oh I've sinned and now my mom is
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00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,500
going to be so This is going to
kill her.
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This is going to like really do
her in because if they could see
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that fear of sin in your life
already, right?
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00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,599
They would be like, oh, I can't.
It would just destroy her.
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I told her this, but they don't
feel that because you don't have
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00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:31,200
that fear, right?
Yeah, II have tried to affirm,
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you know, I say our daughters
young, so she's not sexually
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active yet, but as someday Lord
willing, she'll get married and
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have kids.
But I have said to her many
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Times if things don't go as
planned five ten years from now,
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00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:52,200
you never have to be afraid to
talk to your father and I you
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never have to be afraid to say.
I have a baby.
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I said, I will help you.
Like, we try to preempted, we
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try to say to her.
We that's what we say to her to
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our boys.
We try to say, even when they
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were little, when you find
pornography, when you get
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exposed to pornography, run to
us.
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We will help you.
We will pray with you.
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We will love on you.
Our instinct when we sin is to
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go hide in shame.
But if there is a freedom of
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failure in our home then, then
my hope is that they will know
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that they don't have to hide
that they have an advocate and
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having that they can run to
yeah.
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00:18:29,300 --> 00:18:33,100
So what if someone is hearing
this and they're like okay I'm
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getting it but what is the
balance between?
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Like I'm not afraid of sin but
yet I don't want to like
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Accidentally allow into my life
or directly run into it.
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What's right?
How do you do that?
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00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:50,300
I I think spending time with the
Lord will make you stronger and
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00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,500
him it will make you want to
resist sin.
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00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:58,900
So I trust and I pray and I hope
that we cultivate a love of God
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that it makes you say.
I really don't want this.
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I don't want this in my life I
actually feel dirty.
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I feel disgusting so you don't
want to give a license to it.
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00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,700
The verse that comes to me is
Romans 6 where we're at Says,
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well what shall we say, then,
shall we go on continuing to
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00:19:13,500 --> 00:19:15,300
sin?
So that Grace May abound by no
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00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:18,000
means you, that's not what you
are.
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We're not saying go on sinning.
We're saying, if you do and I
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00:19:22,700 --> 00:19:27,100
would say, as John said, in
first, John, when you do just
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know, you have an advocate, I,
you don't want to give a license
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to sin, I just know that it will
happen and if it happens in your
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life, when it happens in your
life, and it happens in your
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marriage, when it happens in
your home, you have An advocate
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in heaven.
Yeah, so it's like turning your
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heart towards God so that the
things of this world aren't even
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attractive, right?
You right.
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So it just wouldn't be like,
well, I know what that leads to,
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I don't want, right?
Yeah.
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Right.
At least two enslavement at
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leads to.
Yeah.
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Oh, I sometimes pray over our
kids that they will sin just
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enough.
That it will be.
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So vile feeling that it will
actually give them such a sour
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taste in.
Out, they will not go back to
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00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,400
it.
You know, that you're praying,
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that they would know the truth.
Yes, because, yeah, I'm not
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asking that they said, I said,
let me clarify that.
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I'm not praying that they said,
I'm just saying when they do
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that.
My prayer is that none of them
347
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will get in strong, addictive,
behaviors.
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And some people feel like they
have to, like, touch the hot
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oven to verify.
That it's hot and I get that.
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And so my prayer is like, okay,
let it just be the tip of their
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00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,500
finger that touches a hot oven,
a verified that was hot.
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00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,200
I never want to go back to their
again versus our whole body.
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Like And on top of the oven and
they ignited on fire.
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So yeah, I stolen little tiny
things before I stole a sucker
355
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from my best friend in fourth
grade and I have tried to make
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00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,100
it right.
I still can't find him.
357
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I know how horrendous lie awful.
It felt I never want to see
358
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,300
lever again.
Like that was not worth it to me
359
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and that's what I'm saying.
That that I know they're going
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to taste of it, I know we will
taste of it.
361
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:14,200
But may we see the destruction
of Maybe see the separation that
362
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,200
it causes the in your Healthy,
religion, your relationships,
363
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:21,400
you feel alienated from God,
when you send, when you feel,
364
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that may give us a taste.
That Lord help me.
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Not go back to that.
Yeah, stop it.
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Yeah, I hope you find that
friend by the way.
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But what would you say for
someone who isn't married,
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doesn't have kids, how does this
apply to them as well?
369
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,300
You know, it was interesting.
I was talking to the college
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It's yesterday and I was saying
we were talking in context of
371
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:47,700
marriage where if your spouse, I
close all of my classes with
372
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give me questions and I they
right questions and a hat and
373
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then I pull the questions out
and answer them at the end.
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So they're Anonymous and the
questions are just getting
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00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,500
better and better each week that
goes is kind of becoming our
376
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favorite time and one of the
questions was how have you and
377
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,600
your husband dealt with
pornography or dealt with sexual
378
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,200
sin in your marriage.
And one of the things I said to
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00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:15,200
them is I said you're not trying
to Um to build a marriage free
380
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from all of that.
So I you're building a marriage
381
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that faith that if something
happens I have a safe place to
382
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land.
I have a safe person to confess
383
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to and I said the way you can
kind of frame that in your head
384
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is with your friend.
If your friend comes to you,
385
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,800
your peer, your girlfriend or
your guy, friend of your guys
386
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,300
like dude I was looking at
pornography, whatever.
387
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You're not going to alienate
them and shame them for a week.
388
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,200
You don't treat friends like
that in the same way.
389
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You wouldn't do that with a
spouse.
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So to answer your question, I
think, I think one, if if you
391
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,200
aren't married and you don't
have kids just viewing your
392
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relationship with enormous
Grace.
393
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,300
We have Grace towards one
another, we have Grace to be in
394
00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:56,200
a process of sanctification, in
all of our lives, were all in a
395
00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,900
process of being transformed
into the image of Christ.
396
00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:02,400
And so when your friend
struggles in an area, you poor
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00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,600
Grace on them and the same way
that you yourself would want in
398
00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,700
grease port on you, but then
share it applying that to even
399
00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:11,400
your closest relationships, like
your marriages and your And your
400
00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:16,000
parenting situations as well.
Yeah, that's great preparation.
401
00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,700
We said, let's say you're single
now and then you get married
402
00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,700
later.
If you're not like pouring Grace
403
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,700
in your friendships.
Now, write your marriage is
404
00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,200
gonna be so much harder, right?
Yeah, right.
405
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,200
Or that it's I'll go back to The
Sermon on the Mount.
406
00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:32,600
Matthew 5.
Blessed are the merciful for?
407
00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,000
They will receive mercy and it
choked me up this morning when I
408
00:23:36,008 --> 00:23:40,900
was talking to the kids, but
giving someone Mercy is Is not
409
00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:44,400
giving them what they deserve.
We all deserve punishment but we
410
00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,300
were given great Mercy at the
cross and I think when you know
411
00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,100
that for yourself, you're so
ready to give it to everybody
412
00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:52,900
else.
When, you know, you had a debt,
413
00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:56,000
you could not pay and that Jesus
Paid it for you and gave you
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extraordinary, mercy and did not
give you what you deserve.
415
00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:04,900
When you sit in that then great
gratitude comes up and you just
416
00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:09,500
readily give it to other people.
You don't hold them to a
417
00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:12,100
standard that they can.
Keep you give them Mercy as
418
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,800
well.
Yeah, would you recommend any
419
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,700
resources on this topic of
someone's to dive deeper?
420
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:22,700
Yes, one of my absolute favorite
books that I read on this topic
421
00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:27,600
was if Jesus were a parent by
Hal Perkins and how and his wife
422
00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:32,100
raised four children, but their
first three were triplets.
423
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And when they had the trust,
they had the conclusion that we
424
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need to get this.
Right?
425
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And so because we're going to do
it times 3, right away?
426
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There's no like Each child we
have triplets, so they sought
427
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:48,200
the Lord and they came up with
such a Grace filled home on how
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00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,500
to love their children into
adulthood.
429
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,800
So, not just keeping them
little, but loving them and
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training them unto adulthood.
And so, I was so heavily
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00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:02,000
discipled by that book.
There's also a little film that
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00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:07,500
you that is available called.
I didn't Rio heart of a man.
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Oh, heart of man?
Yes.
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Yes, heart of man.
Heart of man.
435
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:18,300
And that it has a profound
picture of Jesus.
436
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:24,500
Great grace and kindness and
mercy for when we sin, what it
437
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,900
looks like to be restored to the
father and it gives a really
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powerful picture.
What the Father's Heart would be
439
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,400
towards his children.
Yeah, I think I feel like I
440
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,800
would refer to that movie as a
documentary.
441
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,800
Yes, some ways.
It's like testimonies so a lot
442
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,200
of real people.
Telling their real-life
443
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,300
testimonies and then also an
illustrated version of The
444
00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:47,500
Prodigal Son type thing
intermingled with the testimony.
445
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:48,600
It's so beautiful.
I can't do.
446
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,900
It makes it so potent though
because I think if you just sit
447
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,900
down and watch the movie or like
this is cute and Powerful, but
448
00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:59,500
it's intermingled with people
weeping sharing, the story of
449
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,600
great Brokenness and great sin
and how the father rescued them
450
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:08,100
and brought Bob brought enormous
healing to them.
451
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,000
Intermingled back and forth with
scenes of the Uncle sun.
452
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,500
It's very powerful.
Know how to describe it.
453
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:18,100
It's just so good if you could
give any final encouragement.
454
00:26:18,100 --> 00:26:21,000
So someone listening if you just
want them to leave with one
455
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,700
final encouragement for you,
what would it be?
456
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:25,500
I would right away.
The verse that comes in my head
457
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,300
as first John 2 1 and it's John,
say my little children.
458
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:32,800
I am writing these things to you
so that you may not sin.
459
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:39,100
But if anyone does sin, we have
an advocate with the father,
460
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:44,000
Jesus Christ, the righteous.
So I just love that language
461
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,100
that John's saying look I'm not
encouraging you to sin.
462
00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:52,200
I wouldn't I wouldn't I
wouldn't, you know say to you.
463
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,200
I walk in a life of sin just so
that you can be forgiven more.
464
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,500
He says, I'm not writing.
I'm writing these things to you
465
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:01,200
so that you may not sin.
But then the next line is but
466
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:06,000
you will.
But If anyone does know that you
467
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,900
have an advocate, you have an
advocate with your father and
468
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:13,300
the way he demonstrated his
advocacy for you is through his
469
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:18,400
son, Jesus Christ, know that you
have someone that loves you,
470
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:26,000
that it's not disgusted by you
and gladly went to the cross for
471
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,600
you and would do it again.
It was his choice.
472
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,200
He said no one took my life from
me.
473
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,400
I lay it down of my own accord
so I just That word that we have
474
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,800
an advocate that loves us.
Yeah, thank you so much Laura
475
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,400
for being our guest really paid
off.
476
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,800
I'm glad we waited.
Yes.
477
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,500
Actually, you know, it was cool.
Is that?
478
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:49,700
So, we talked about this topic
couple weeks ago, maybe two
479
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:53,900
three weeks ago, and then we're
like, okay planning on maybe
480
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:56,900
like later that week or
something to record, then you
481
00:27:56,900 --> 00:28:01,000
got sick, we could it.
But then in that week, leading
482
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,300
up to.
Now, when we recorded Added so
483
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:08,800
many sermons were like about
this topic, that's speaking to
484
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,600
me.
And I was like, what, the, what
485
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,000
is.
So it was really cool, how it
486
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,200
got.
Just needed it together.
487
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:18,000
That's awesome.
Well, praise the Lord.
488
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:20,300
So thank you for sharing your
wisdom experience.
489
00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:27,100
Thank you, Jenny.
Thank you so much for listening
490
00:28:27,100 --> 00:28:29,300
to this episode of head to our
podcast.
491
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,600
It's a joy to record them and a
joy to have you.
492
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,800
Listen, I love hearing from you.
So if any part of this episode
493
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,200
was helpful, go ahead.
Share it, on your Instagram
494
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,300
story, and tag us.
The handle is head to Heart
495
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:44,800
underscore podcast.
And if you would be so kind,
496
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:48,300
leave us a rating and review on
Apple podcasts or our website.
497
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,400
It helps out the show so much
when you do.
498
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:53,900
We'll be releasing episodes to
you every other Friday.
499
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,300
So stay tuned and thanks for
joining us.
00:00:03,700 --> 00:00:05,500
Welcome to head to Heart
podcast.
2
00:00:05,800 --> 00:00:09,500
I'm your host Jenny Markham.
This Bi weekly podcast is
3
00:00:09,500 --> 00:00:12,800
designed to be a safe space to
admit where we truly believe in
4
00:00:12,800 --> 00:00:15,600
our hearts.
There's a huge difference
5
00:00:15,600 --> 00:00:18,400
between having biblical
knowledge floating around in our
6
00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,300
heads and actually believing
that it's true.
7
00:00:22,100 --> 00:00:24,800
Until God's truth makes its way
into our hearts.
8
00:00:25,000 --> 00:00:29,600
Nothing changes will be doing a
mix of solo episodes and
9
00:00:29,600 --> 00:00:32,000
interviews with friends.
Those who have experienced the
10
00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:35,100
freedom that comes, when head
knowledge becomes heart.
11
00:00:35,100 --> 00:00:38,400
Knowledge will talk about
overcoming lies in our
12
00:00:38,400 --> 00:00:41,600
relationships, mental health
struggles and the way we see
13
00:00:41,600 --> 00:00:45,800
ourselves, the truth will set
you free so that you can walk
14
00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:48,400
every day in the freedom.
God desires for you.
15
00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:52,100
It's time to let go of those
pressures insecurities and
16
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,500
burdens.
That's not yours to carry.
17
00:00:55,100 --> 00:01:02,700
Thanks for joining us.
Welcome back to head to Heart
18
00:01:02,700 --> 00:01:04,800
podcast.
I'm your host Jenny Markham.
19
00:01:05,000 --> 00:01:08,100
I'm bringing a very special
guest who I've waited quite a
20
00:01:08,100 --> 00:01:11,500
while to ask to be on this
podcast, but we have the
21
00:01:11,500 --> 00:01:14,400
wonderful Laura Krauss with us.
Laura, will you just introduce
22
00:01:14,400 --> 00:01:18,100
yourself who you are?
What you do family and one fun
23
00:01:18,100 --> 00:01:22,000
fact.
Yeah, I'm Laura Kraus.
24
00:01:22,900 --> 00:01:32,400
I am a wife of Ken and we have
six children ages. 6:42, we have
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00:01:32,400 --> 00:01:36,500
five boys, one girl.
And I gave a big chunk of my
26
00:01:36,500 --> 00:01:41,000
life to homeschooling them and
staying at home with them and
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00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:43,200
then we transitioned to a public
school.
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00:01:43,700 --> 00:01:47,200
And so when we transition the
kids out of the home, I prayed a
29
00:01:47,208 --> 00:01:51,600
lot about what to do next with
my time and an opportunity
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00:01:51,600 --> 00:01:55,100
opened up for me to disciple
college students.
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00:01:55,100 --> 00:01:59,800
So Jenny and I work together and
we pray and minister to college.
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00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:03,900
That's so it's super fun.
Life-giving fact are a fun fact
33
00:02:03,900 --> 00:02:07,200
about me.
I can be life-giving.
34
00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:09,900
That's fine.
Well, maybe maybe this will be
35
00:02:09,900 --> 00:02:11,600
like a weed.
I don't know, or geology.
36
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:15,300
I grew up traveling.
I grew up driving all over the
37
00:02:15,300 --> 00:02:17,200
United States or flying all
over.
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00:02:17,200 --> 00:02:21,500
My dad was in the military and
then he was a pilot for a local
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00:02:21,500 --> 00:02:25,900
Airline and so well also an
International Airline and so
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00:02:25,900 --> 00:02:29,800
that gave us fly in benefits.
So we traveled a lot and when
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00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,100
Became a parrot that was just a
high value to me to travel with
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00:02:34,100 --> 00:02:37,500
the kids.
So my kids had not moved at all,
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00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,900
like I moved but I had a goal of
bringing them to 48 states
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00:02:40,900 --> 00:02:44,700
before they graduated high
school and we just finished that
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00:02:44,700 --> 00:02:47,000
goal this summer.
So I finished it a little
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00:02:47,000 --> 00:02:51,000
earlier than I thought but I had
our first graduate this summer
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00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:54,900
and so I felt like I needed to
get it in for him and once I got
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00:02:54,900 --> 00:02:58,300
it in for him I thought I think
I'll just complete it for
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00:02:58,300 --> 00:03:01,500
everybody.
So we Visited All, 48 states
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00:03:01,500 --> 00:03:06,100
took us 12 years to reach that
goal and every kid now has been
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00:03:06,100 --> 00:03:07,400
to it.
So you might be saying, how did
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00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:08,600
the seven-year-old get them all
in?
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00:03:08,600 --> 00:03:10,500
Will the seven-year-old was
gonna say, I was like, just the
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00:03:10,500 --> 00:03:12,400
seven-year-old.
Remember all know the
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00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:13,300
seven-year-old?
Does it?
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00:03:13,300 --> 00:03:16,800
And the seven-year-old had some
repeats?
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00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:20,700
So, a few of them were repeats,
but I got the seven-year-old on
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00:03:20,700 --> 00:03:22,600
track with everybody else.
And once I got the
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00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,100
seven-year-old on track, I
thought, let's just finish the
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00:03:25,100 --> 00:03:27,000
whole.
Let's just now, we now we need a
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00:03:27,008 --> 00:03:29,800
new goal.
I don't know, maybe the other
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00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:32,600
To.
I the kids keep saying what
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00:03:32,600 --> 00:03:35,200
about Alaska and Hawaii and I
say if you want to pay for
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00:03:35,200 --> 00:03:39,300
Hawaii, you can a last look at
is tempting to do a drive to
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00:03:39,300 --> 00:03:42,100
Alaska.
So very tempting.
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00:03:42,100 --> 00:03:44,300
Some will see I'm chewing on
that.
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00:03:44,300 --> 00:03:47,000
Yeah I think that would be a
whole summer commitment at least
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00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:49,500
a month unit if we did Alaska
because you don't want to turn
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00:03:49,500 --> 00:03:51,700
around and come home to drive
through Canada.
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00:03:51,800 --> 00:03:53,200
Yeah.
You're going to stay for a
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00:03:53,208 --> 00:03:55,700
little bit.
So we'll see and show them your
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00:03:55,700 --> 00:03:58,000
old stomping grounds.
I don't know.
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00:03:58,800 --> 00:04:02,200
So Laura What have you been set
free from take us through the
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00:04:02,200 --> 00:04:06,900
story?
Yeah, I really love.
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00:04:07,300 --> 00:04:10,400
I was sharing with someone
recently.
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00:04:11,100 --> 00:04:16,800
I have a clear perspective on
how to view sin in the context
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00:04:16,800 --> 00:04:21,899
of marriage and family, but also
in the context of just your
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00:04:21,899 --> 00:04:25,900
friendships and those that you
relate with, we had some friends
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00:04:25,900 --> 00:04:27,800
come over.
This is years ago, but we have
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00:04:27,800 --> 00:04:31,800
some friends come over and They
were a young couple they'd only
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00:04:31,800 --> 00:04:35,900
been married about a year and
they were really struggling
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00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:40,200
because their mentors had
recently announced that the
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00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:47,200
husband had engaged in some form
of infidelity and it was
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00:04:47,300 --> 00:04:51,600
absolutely devastating to this
young couple and they came over
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00:04:51,600 --> 00:04:55,300
to our house to have us.
Pray for them and encourage
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00:04:55,300 --> 00:04:59,500
them.
And as I Preston to like what
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00:04:59,500 --> 00:05:04,200
they were feeling it was really
the guy that broke down, and he
88
00:05:04,200 --> 00:05:08,100
said, if this mentoring couple
of hours who I loved and
89
00:05:08,100 --> 00:05:16,700
cherished and respected so much,
if they couldn't walk in Purity
90
00:05:16,900 --> 00:05:21,000
and Fidelity to one another, how
in the world can I ever dream of
91
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,700
that?
Now, remember, he's a, he's a
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00:05:22,700 --> 00:05:28,500
young married man and so, He has
a young Christian married man.
93
00:05:28,500 --> 00:05:33,600
So he has every ambition in his
mind of being faithful to his
94
00:05:33,600 --> 00:05:39,300
wife and wanting to do
everything in his pair power to
95
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:45,700
walk and faithfulness to her.
And when his hero so to speak
96
00:05:45,700 --> 00:05:50,300
Falls it left him.
Trembling wondering if he as
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00:05:50,300 --> 00:05:54,900
well when make the same mistake
so it broke my heart.
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00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:59,000
Now his there, Mentors happen to
also be some of our very good
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00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:08,200
friends and I had also been a
processing that journey of these
100
00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:12,100
mentors as well, and how it was
impacting me and something came
101
00:06:12,100 --> 00:06:14,800
really clear to me.
And it was, when we gathered
102
00:06:14,800 --> 00:06:17,300
around this young couple and we
said, can we just pray for you?
103
00:06:17,300 --> 00:06:19,900
Because the particularly one of
them was quite broken.
104
00:06:19,900 --> 00:06:24,000
Hearted we gathered around him
and we prayed and I felt like
105
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:27,900
the Lord spoke to me and I'll
call him John, his name is on
106
00:06:27,900 --> 00:06:34,900
John but I said, John, your goal
in marriage is to not build a
107
00:06:34,900 --> 00:06:39,400
sin proof marriage.
Because if you're Desiring to
108
00:06:39,400 --> 00:06:42,600
build a sin proof marriage, you
will fail.
109
00:06:42,900 --> 00:06:46,300
You will feel your goal is to
build.
110
00:06:46,300 --> 00:06:52,600
Such a safe place in marriage.
So that if failure cap'n's on
111
00:06:52,600 --> 00:06:56,300
either of your parts, you have
such a safe landing.
112
00:06:56,400 --> 00:06:59,600
In ground that you can share
your vulnerability and your
113
00:06:59,600 --> 00:07:02,800
weakness with your spouse.
So it was really powerful Jenny,
114
00:07:02,800 --> 00:07:05,600
I reframed in that moment as I
was praying for him.
115
00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:09,500
Also how I viewed failure from
they're going forward and this
116
00:07:09,500 --> 00:07:13,400
is quite a while ago, but I
everything shifted in my mind, I
117
00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:17,800
thought our our goal as married
couples.
118
00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:23,400
Is to not build perfection.
Because there is only one
119
00:07:23,400 --> 00:07:27,300
perfect man and that was Jesus,
we should never be aiming for
120
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:30,100
Perfection.
Now, we don't want to cultivate
121
00:07:30,100 --> 00:07:32,800
sin in our life.
That's not what I'm saying, but
122
00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:36,500
if your aim is perfection, you
will be left in want constantly
123
00:07:36,500 --> 00:07:38,500
because you cannot live a
perfect life.
124
00:07:38,600 --> 00:07:43,000
But if your aim is building
trust security, safety, honesty
125
00:07:43,800 --> 00:07:48,400
sincerity, then you can actively
build that and it puts you on
126
00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:51,800
the offensive rather than on the
defensive.
127
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:57,100
In your marriage, you are off
fensively preparing for whatever
128
00:07:57,100 --> 00:08:00,400
comes your way, you can be
productive and Prairie preparing
129
00:08:00,400 --> 00:08:02,800
for that.
You can engage in it versus.
130
00:08:02,800 --> 00:08:05,800
If you're just afraid of sin,
you're completely on the
131
00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:07,800
defensive and you're living in
fear.
132
00:08:08,400 --> 00:08:11,900
And so one actually gives you
hope and engagement and shows
133
00:08:11,900 --> 00:08:15,500
you what to do in productivity
and building a marriage and one
134
00:08:15,800 --> 00:08:18,400
puts you in anxiety, and fear,
and stress.
135
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:20,800
Yeah.
It's really good.
136
00:08:21,100 --> 00:08:25,300
So, to summarize, am I getting
this right?
137
00:08:25,300 --> 00:08:33,500
When you're saying like, we want
to be so secure in the Lord and
138
00:08:33,500 --> 00:08:38,299
then bring that love to the
people around us, like our
139
00:08:38,299 --> 00:08:40,500
friends, our spouse, our kids,
whatever.
140
00:08:40,500 --> 00:08:46,400
It may be that When sin comes,
it's not something that's going
141
00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,500
to tear us down, or it's not
something that's going to
142
00:08:48,500 --> 00:08:51,200
completely uproot us, right?
Because our route is in Christ,
143
00:08:51,200 --> 00:08:52,100
right?
Yeah.
144
00:08:52,100 --> 00:08:54,800
Our route has never been put in
sinlessness.
145
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:58,100
It.
Yeah, Ephesians says that we are
146
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:04,000
rooted and established in love
and so our roots in Christ have
147
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,300
nothing to do with our
perfection.
148
00:09:05,400 --> 00:09:08,400
Or anything we've done or not
done our roots in Christ are
149
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:12,000
solely based on what he's done
so there's great freedom for
150
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:16,500
failure and our walk with Jesus.
He is actually built into him.
151
00:09:16,500 --> 00:09:21,200
The one of my favorite words in
Hebrew is has said and has said
152
00:09:21,400 --> 00:09:25,700
is translated as unfailing, love
or steadfast love.
153
00:09:25,700 --> 00:09:32,100
But the direct translation of
what he said means is a love.
154
00:09:32,100 --> 00:09:36,600
That is not based on Fidelity
but base Merci.
155
00:09:36,700 --> 00:09:40,500
So when you hear a hiss when you
hear unfailing love the
156
00:09:40,500 --> 00:09:43,000
steadfast love of the Lord,
never ceases.
157
00:09:43,500 --> 00:09:46,200
What you're hearing is built
into God's relationship.
158
00:09:46,200 --> 00:09:50,300
With us is great capacity to
cover our failures which we know
159
00:09:50,300 --> 00:09:54,700
at the cross, it's in bread and
our covenant relationship with
160
00:09:54,700 --> 00:09:57,900
him.
Therefore, it should also be in
161
00:09:57,900 --> 00:09:59,600
our relationship with each
other.
162
00:09:59,900 --> 00:10:03,200
That we don't have strict
requirements of perfection.
163
00:10:03,800 --> 00:10:06,600
We have great grace, and Great
Mercy was just reading this
164
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:10,400
morning in Matthew 5.
That blessed are the merciful
165
00:10:10,400 --> 00:10:13,700
for They will receive Mercy.
It is a blessed place to give
166
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one another mercy and have a
merciful relationship.
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So it really changed how I
viewed security and marriage.
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And and also then how I wanted
to raise our kids that we do not
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have to be afraid of sin.
We don't cultivate sin.
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We don't seek to have sinned but
we know what to do when we sin.
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Yeah.
Yeah.
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Instead of just shoving it down.
Yeah.
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Oh shame.
I have to hide it, right?
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Yeah, that's really powerful.
So if someone's listening this,
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they're like, am I living in
fear of sin?
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How could they recognize if
they're living in fear of sin or
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not?
I think fear.
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I think, you know, when you're
afraid when you when the thought
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of someone sitting around, you
either your spouse or what if my
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kid or what if my husband and he
creates such fear and anxiety.
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In your soul, that's fearing it.
And I think one of my favorite
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verses is perfect, love casts
out fear because fear has to do
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with punishment so so knowing
Sometimes just knowing that
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doesn't always solve it, but
then I go back to my
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relationship with Christ.
What does Jesus do with me?
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When I sin?
How does he deal with me?
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And maybe you're not realizing
how mercifully kind and
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restorative the cross is and
maybe you need to be reminded of
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that.
Then he deals gently with those
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who run away.
We were just talking last night
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with children and a kids class.
I was part of we spent a lot of
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time studying sheeps and
Shepherds and we talked about
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how Leave the 99 and go after
the one and the kids really
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picked up on the fact that he
carries the one back on his
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shoulder.
Jesus is very kind with a
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repented broken heart, he's very
kind when he deals with us and
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our struggle.
It's a Good Shepherd.
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Yes.
In what ways has this impacted?
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How you parent now, that has
been really huge for me, as our
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kids got older.
So I mentioned we had six kids
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and we are raising our children
and a generation where everybody
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has the internet and all options
in their pocket on their
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telephone.
So they can have, they can have
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exposure to anything anything at
such a high level so quickly way
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quicker than any of us ever had
when we were younger.
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And so well.
I'm 45.
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So I know I did not have that
when I was younger.
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So as a loving Christian mother
my thought was no internet and
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no phones ever in our house.
And so we didn't have TVs and we
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didn't have, we had the internet
but it was like, so highly
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managed and I myself wouldn't
try to use it again.
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This is a while ago, I tried to
so limit and protect what they
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could potentially be exposed to
and So I subtly as time went on,
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I realized I was acting entirely
out of fear.
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I was not fearing the Lord, I
was fearing sin and the Damage
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that it could do and I was and I
realized that I was actually
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elevating the power of sin over
the power of God and his
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Redemption.
And so when you're so afraid of
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for me, I was so afraid of my
children being exposed to
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pornography and, and the things
that could come through the
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phone and I And I saw how
damaging it was so I was just
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going to Great Lengths to not
have phones.
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Now, the problem that I realized
really quickly, we had been
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youth pastors a couple decades
ago and I realized I was
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reproducing something that I did
not want to that I had seen in
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some of the youth that we had
worked and what I was
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reproducing was you're
eliminating all these things
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from your home and you're
assuming that at 18, your child
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will go out and and know how to
Manage all these things.
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If they've never been exposed to
them in the home and that was
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super eye-opening, I realized
that they had never had a phone,
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they wouldn't have been
strengthened by their own will
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and working with the Lord and
growing in maturity and growing
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in self control and self
discipline.
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If I constantly controlled it
and I realized the moment, our
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children are going to go out the
door.
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Of course, they're going to get
a phone, our culture uses
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phones, and if they had never,
ever, ever had a phone in their
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pocket, they would have Never
developed.
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Any internal system on how to
handle sin?
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How to handle when something
pops up on your phone?
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If they've never had it.
And I thought I'm playing the
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wrong game here.
I don't need to do, like, I
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don't need to be so fearful, I
need to give them the skills,
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the grace, the mercy, under our
own roof.
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Just to say, I don't want you to
sin, but if you sin here is your
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way out, here's how you talk to
the Lord, or here's how you the
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filters you could put on your
phone, you can choose to put on
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your phone, that will help.
Pew.
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So, I realized being afraid of
sin was actually elevating sin.
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It was, I was almost worshiping
it.
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I was almost making it such an
idol.
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And the Lord was like, okay.
So what if your kids get exposed
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to pornography?
They have, they have someone who
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can forgive them.
They have someone that can wash
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them.
They have someone that can
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redeem them.
Because Redemption is better
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than Perfection.
We are not aiming for
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Perfection.
We're not aiming for a perfect
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marriage.
We're not aiming for perfect
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pair anywhere.
Framing for redeemed, people who
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know that, when they send, they
have an advocate in heaven, they
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have a father that will cleanse
them.
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Yeah, I think it's Psalm 130
verse 7.
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It says like, put your hope in
the Lord because he brings a
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bunt know he brings redemption
in abundance.
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Yeah, I love that her.
Yeah, amen.
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Amen, he's slow to get angry.
He's abounding in steadfast love
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and mercy.
Psalm 145.
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How how much more powerful that
you and your spouse?
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Are you your children?
They're in our trained quickly
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to run to the throne of grace of
find help in their hour of need.
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If there's never been an hour to
need, then they won't run boldly
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to the throne of grace, to find
that help.
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So, how cool if you can,
establish a culture of Grace, a
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culture of forgiveness, a
culture of freedom in your home,
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that again, you're not licensing
them to sin but you're training
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them to run boldly to the throne
of grace.
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When something happens, Jesus is
Love, is far more powerful than
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00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:47,000
fear and his forgiveness is far
more powerful than Than than a
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00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:50,800
sin that we could do it really
is his Love Actually will never
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fail.
Its unfailing love versus Sin
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that you think can do so much
are recoverable damage.
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That's actually why we have the
cross.
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Yeah I bet you're all.
So I know you're also preventing
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00:17:04,700 --> 00:17:10,400
this feeling in your kids like
oh I've sinned and now my mom is
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00:17:10,400 --> 00:17:14,500
going to be so This is going to
kill her.
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This is going to like really do
her in because if they could see
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that fear of sin in your life
already, right?
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00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,599
They would be like, oh, I can't.
It would just destroy her.
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I told her this, but they don't
feel that because you don't have
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00:17:27,700 --> 00:17:31,200
that fear, right?
Yeah, II have tried to affirm,
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you know, I say our daughters
young, so she's not sexually
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active yet, but as someday Lord
willing, she'll get married and
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have kids.
But I have said to her many
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Times if things don't go as
planned five ten years from now,
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you never have to be afraid to
talk to your father and I you
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never have to be afraid to say.
I have a baby.
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I said, I will help you.
Like, we try to preempted, we
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try to say to her.
We that's what we say to her to
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our boys.
We try to say, even when they
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were little, when you find
pornography, when you get
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exposed to pornography, run to
us.
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We will help you.
We will pray with you.
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We will love on you.
Our instinct when we sin is to
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go hide in shame.
But if there is a freedom of
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failure in our home then, then
my hope is that they will know
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that they don't have to hide
that they have an advocate and
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having that they can run to
yeah.
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So what if someone is hearing
this and they're like okay I'm
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getting it but what is the
balance between?
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Like I'm not afraid of sin but
yet I don't want to like
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Accidentally allow into my life
or directly run into it.
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What's right?
How do you do that?
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00:18:46,200 --> 00:18:50,300
I I think spending time with the
Lord will make you stronger and
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00:18:50,300 --> 00:18:52,500
him it will make you want to
resist sin.
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00:18:52,800 --> 00:18:58,900
So I trust and I pray and I hope
that we cultivate a love of God
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that it makes you say.
I really don't want this.
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I don't want this in my life I
actually feel dirty.
320
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I feel disgusting so you don't
want to give a license to it.
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00:19:07,200 --> 00:19:10,700
The verse that comes to me is
Romans 6 where we're at Says,
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well what shall we say, then,
shall we go on continuing to
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sin?
So that Grace May abound by no
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00:19:15,300 --> 00:19:18,000
means you, that's not what you
are.
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We're not saying go on sinning.
We're saying, if you do and I
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would say, as John said, in
first, John, when you do just
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know, you have an advocate, I,
you don't want to give a license
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to sin, I just know that it will
happen and if it happens in your
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life, when it happens in your
life, and it happens in your
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00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,000
marriage, when it happens in
your home, you have An advocate
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00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:43,700
in heaven.
Yeah, so it's like turning your
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heart towards God so that the
things of this world aren't even
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attractive, right?
You right.
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00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:51,100
So it just wouldn't be like,
well, I know what that leads to,
335
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I don't want, right?
Yeah.
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Right.
At least two enslavement at
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leads to.
Yeah.
338
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Oh, I sometimes pray over our
kids that they will sin just
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enough.
That it will be.
340
00:20:05,500 --> 00:20:10,000
So vile feeling that it will
actually give them such a sour
341
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,700
taste in.
Out, they will not go back to
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00:20:11,700 --> 00:20:14,400
it.
You know, that you're praying,
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that they would know the truth.
Yes, because, yeah, I'm not
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asking that they said, I said,
let me clarify that.
345
00:20:18,700 --> 00:20:21,400
I'm not praying that they said,
I'm just saying when they do
346
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that.
My prayer is that none of them
347
00:20:23,900 --> 00:20:26,200
will get in strong, addictive,
behaviors.
348
00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:29,400
And some people feel like they
have to, like, touch the hot
349
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oven to verify.
That it's hot and I get that.
350
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And so my prayer is like, okay,
let it just be the tip of their
351
00:20:35,100 --> 00:20:37,500
finger that touches a hot oven,
a verified that was hot.
352
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:40,200
I never want to go back to their
again versus our whole body.
353
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Like And on top of the oven and
they ignited on fire.
354
00:20:42,500 --> 00:20:47,600
So yeah, I stolen little tiny
things before I stole a sucker
355
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from my best friend in fourth
grade and I have tried to make
356
00:20:52,700 --> 00:20:54,100
it right.
I still can't find him.
357
00:20:55,600 --> 00:21:00,600
I know how horrendous lie awful.
It felt I never want to see
358
00:21:00,600 --> 00:21:03,300
lever again.
Like that was not worth it to me
359
00:21:03,300 --> 00:21:06,400
and that's what I'm saying.
That that I know they're going
360
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to taste of it, I know we will
taste of it.
361
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:14,200
But may we see the destruction
of Maybe see the separation that
362
00:21:14,200 --> 00:21:18,200
it causes the in your Healthy,
religion, your relationships,
363
00:21:18,700 --> 00:21:21,400
you feel alienated from God,
when you send, when you feel,
364
00:21:21,400 --> 00:21:24,200
that may give us a taste.
That Lord help me.
365
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Not go back to that.
Yeah, stop it.
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Yeah, I hope you find that
friend by the way.
367
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But what would you say for
someone who isn't married,
368
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doesn't have kids, how does this
apply to them as well?
369
00:21:38,300 --> 00:21:40,300
You know, it was interesting.
I was talking to the college
370
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It's yesterday and I was saying
we were talking in context of
371
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:47,700
marriage where if your spouse, I
close all of my classes with
372
00:21:47,700 --> 00:21:50,800
give me questions and I they
right questions and a hat and
373
00:21:50,800 --> 00:21:53,300
then I pull the questions out
and answer them at the end.
374
00:21:53,300 --> 00:21:55,800
So they're Anonymous and the
questions are just getting
375
00:21:55,800 --> 00:21:58,500
better and better each week that
goes is kind of becoming our
376
00:21:58,500 --> 00:22:00,800
favorite time and one of the
questions was how have you and
377
00:22:00,800 --> 00:22:04,600
your husband dealt with
pornography or dealt with sexual
378
00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:07,200
sin in your marriage.
And one of the things I said to
379
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:15,200
them is I said you're not trying
to Um to build a marriage free
380
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:18,600
from all of that.
So I you're building a marriage
381
00:22:18,600 --> 00:22:22,000
that faith that if something
happens I have a safe place to
382
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:23,800
land.
I have a safe person to confess
383
00:22:23,800 --> 00:22:26,400
to and I said the way you can
kind of frame that in your head
384
00:22:26,400 --> 00:22:29,000
is with your friend.
If your friend comes to you,
385
00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,800
your peer, your girlfriend or
your guy, friend of your guys
386
00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:34,300
like dude I was looking at
pornography, whatever.
387
00:22:34,800 --> 00:22:37,600
You're not going to alienate
them and shame them for a week.
388
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,200
You don't treat friends like
that in the same way.
389
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:41,500
You wouldn't do that with a
spouse.
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So to answer your question, I
think, I think one, if if you
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00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:48,200
aren't married and you don't
have kids just viewing your
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00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:50,000
relationship with enormous
Grace.
393
00:22:50,000 --> 00:22:53,300
We have Grace towards one
another, we have Grace to be in
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00:22:53,300 --> 00:22:56,200
a process of sanctification, in
all of our lives, were all in a
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00:22:56,208 --> 00:22:58,900
process of being transformed
into the image of Christ.
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00:22:59,100 --> 00:23:02,400
And so when your friend
struggles in an area, you poor
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00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,600
Grace on them and the same way
that you yourself would want in
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00:23:04,600 --> 00:23:07,700
grease port on you, but then
share it applying that to even
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00:23:07,700 --> 00:23:11,400
your closest relationships, like
your marriages and your And your
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00:23:11,400 --> 00:23:16,000
parenting situations as well.
Yeah, that's great preparation.
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00:23:16,000 --> 00:23:18,700
We said, let's say you're single
now and then you get married
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00:23:18,700 --> 00:23:20,700
later.
If you're not like pouring Grace
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00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,700
in your friendships.
Now, write your marriage is
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00:23:22,700 --> 00:23:25,200
gonna be so much harder, right?
Yeah, right.
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00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:28,200
Or that it's I'll go back to The
Sermon on the Mount.
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00:23:28,300 --> 00:23:32,600
Matthew 5.
Blessed are the merciful for?
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00:23:32,600 --> 00:23:36,000
They will receive mercy and it
choked me up this morning when I
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00:23:36,008 --> 00:23:40,900
was talking to the kids, but
giving someone Mercy is Is not
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00:23:40,900 --> 00:23:44,400
giving them what they deserve.
We all deserve punishment but we
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00:23:44,400 --> 00:23:48,300
were given great Mercy at the
cross and I think when you know
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00:23:48,300 --> 00:23:51,100
that for yourself, you're so
ready to give it to everybody
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00:23:51,100 --> 00:23:52,900
else.
When, you know, you had a debt,
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00:23:52,900 --> 00:23:56,000
you could not pay and that Jesus
Paid it for you and gave you
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00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:59,400
extraordinary, mercy and did not
give you what you deserve.
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00:23:59,700 --> 00:24:04,900
When you sit in that then great
gratitude comes up and you just
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00:24:04,900 --> 00:24:09,500
readily give it to other people.
You don't hold them to a
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00:24:09,500 --> 00:24:12,100
standard that they can.
Keep you give them Mercy as
418
00:24:12,100 --> 00:24:14,800
well.
Yeah, would you recommend any
419
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,700
resources on this topic of
someone's to dive deeper?
420
00:24:17,900 --> 00:24:22,700
Yes, one of my absolute favorite
books that I read on this topic
421
00:24:22,700 --> 00:24:27,600
was if Jesus were a parent by
Hal Perkins and how and his wife
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00:24:27,600 --> 00:24:32,100
raised four children, but their
first three were triplets.
423
00:24:32,100 --> 00:24:35,900
And when they had the trust,
they had the conclusion that we
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00:24:35,900 --> 00:24:37,200
need to get this.
Right?
425
00:24:37,200 --> 00:24:39,600
And so because we're going to do
it times 3, right away?
426
00:24:39,600 --> 00:24:42,900
There's no like Each child we
have triplets, so they sought
427
00:24:42,900 --> 00:24:48,200
the Lord and they came up with
such a Grace filled home on how
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00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:51,500
to love their children into
adulthood.
429
00:24:51,500 --> 00:24:53,800
So, not just keeping them
little, but loving them and
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00:24:53,800 --> 00:24:57,800
training them unto adulthood.
And so, I was so heavily
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00:24:57,800 --> 00:25:02,000
discipled by that book.
There's also a little film that
432
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:07,500
you that is available called.
I didn't Rio heart of a man.
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00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:09,000
Oh, heart of man?
Yes.
434
00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:11,200
Yes, heart of man.
Heart of man.
435
00:25:11,500 --> 00:25:18,300
And that it has a profound
picture of Jesus.
436
00:25:18,300 --> 00:25:24,500
Great grace and kindness and
mercy for when we sin, what it
437
00:25:24,500 --> 00:25:27,900
looks like to be restored to the
father and it gives a really
438
00:25:27,900 --> 00:25:30,400
powerful picture.
What the Father's Heart would be
439
00:25:30,400 --> 00:25:34,400
towards his children.
Yeah, I think I feel like I
440
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:36,800
would refer to that movie as a
documentary.
441
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:39,800
Yes, some ways.
It's like testimonies so a lot
442
00:25:39,800 --> 00:25:41,200
of real people.
Telling their real-life
443
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:44,300
testimonies and then also an
illustrated version of The
444
00:25:44,300 --> 00:25:47,500
Prodigal Son type thing
intermingled with the testimony.
445
00:25:47,500 --> 00:25:48,600
It's so beautiful.
I can't do.
446
00:25:49,400 --> 00:25:51,900
It makes it so potent though
because I think if you just sit
447
00:25:51,900 --> 00:25:54,900
down and watch the movie or like
this is cute and Powerful, but
448
00:25:54,900 --> 00:25:59,500
it's intermingled with people
weeping sharing, the story of
449
00:25:59,500 --> 00:26:03,600
great Brokenness and great sin
and how the father rescued them
450
00:26:03,600 --> 00:26:08,100
and brought Bob brought enormous
healing to them.
451
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:11,000
Intermingled back and forth with
scenes of the Uncle sun.
452
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:13,500
It's very powerful.
Know how to describe it.
453
00:26:13,700 --> 00:26:18,100
It's just so good if you could
give any final encouragement.
454
00:26:18,100 --> 00:26:21,000
So someone listening if you just
want them to leave with one
455
00:26:21,000 --> 00:26:22,700
final encouragement for you,
what would it be?
456
00:26:22,700 --> 00:26:25,500
I would right away.
The verse that comes in my head
457
00:26:25,500 --> 00:26:29,300
as first John 2 1 and it's John,
say my little children.
458
00:26:29,300 --> 00:26:32,800
I am writing these things to you
so that you may not sin.
459
00:26:33,600 --> 00:26:39,100
But if anyone does sin, we have
an advocate with the father,
460
00:26:39,300 --> 00:26:44,000
Jesus Christ, the righteous.
So I just love that language
461
00:26:44,000 --> 00:26:47,100
that John's saying look I'm not
encouraging you to sin.
462
00:26:47,100 --> 00:26:52,200
I wouldn't I wouldn't I
wouldn't, you know say to you.
463
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,200
I walk in a life of sin just so
that you can be forgiven more.
464
00:26:55,200 --> 00:26:57,500
He says, I'm not writing.
I'm writing these things to you
465
00:26:57,500 --> 00:27:01,200
so that you may not sin.
But then the next line is but
466
00:27:01,300 --> 00:27:06,000
you will.
But If anyone does know that you
467
00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:09,900
have an advocate, you have an
advocate with your father and
468
00:27:09,900 --> 00:27:13,300
the way he demonstrated his
advocacy for you is through his
469
00:27:13,300 --> 00:27:18,400
son, Jesus Christ, know that you
have someone that loves you,
470
00:27:19,300 --> 00:27:26,000
that it's not disgusted by you
and gladly went to the cross for
471
00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,600
you and would do it again.
It was his choice.
472
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:30,200
He said no one took my life from
me.
473
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:34,400
I lay it down of my own accord
so I just That word that we have
474
00:27:34,400 --> 00:27:37,800
an advocate that loves us.
Yeah, thank you so much Laura
475
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,400
for being our guest really paid
off.
476
00:27:40,400 --> 00:27:41,800
I'm glad we waited.
Yes.
477
00:27:41,800 --> 00:27:43,500
Actually, you know, it was cool.
Is that?
478
00:27:44,200 --> 00:27:49,700
So, we talked about this topic
couple weeks ago, maybe two
479
00:27:49,700 --> 00:27:53,900
three weeks ago, and then we're
like, okay planning on maybe
480
00:27:53,900 --> 00:27:56,900
like later that week or
something to record, then you
481
00:27:56,900 --> 00:28:01,000
got sick, we could it.
But then in that week, leading
482
00:28:01,000 --> 00:28:04,300
up to.
Now, when we recorded Added so
483
00:28:04,300 --> 00:28:08,800
many sermons were like about
this topic, that's speaking to
484
00:28:08,800 --> 00:28:10,600
me.
And I was like, what, the, what
485
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:14,000
is.
So it was really cool, how it
486
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:15,200
got.
Just needed it together.
487
00:28:15,300 --> 00:28:18,000
That's awesome.
Well, praise the Lord.
488
00:28:18,300 --> 00:28:20,300
So thank you for sharing your
wisdom experience.
489
00:28:20,300 --> 00:28:27,100
Thank you, Jenny.
Thank you so much for listening
490
00:28:27,100 --> 00:28:29,300
to this episode of head to our
podcast.
491
00:28:29,500 --> 00:28:31,600
It's a joy to record them and a
joy to have you.
492
00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,800
Listen, I love hearing from you.
So if any part of this episode
493
00:28:35,800 --> 00:28:38,200
was helpful, go ahead.
Share it, on your Instagram
494
00:28:38,200 --> 00:28:41,300
story, and tag us.
The handle is head to Heart
495
00:28:41,300 --> 00:28:44,800
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496
00:28:44,900 --> 00:28:48,300
leave us a rating and review on
Apple podcasts or our website.
497
00:28:48,500 --> 00:28:50,400
It helps out the show so much
when you do.
498
00:28:51,300 --> 00:28:53,900
We'll be releasing episodes to
you every other Friday.
499
00:28:54,200 --> 00:28:56,300
So stay tuned and thanks for
joining us.