Aug. 4, 2023
S4E12: How To Break Unhealthy Generational Patterns and Cycles
Madeline Peña has been set free from mental health issues, addiction, an eating disorder, and self-harm. And the most beautiful thing is that since Jesus has ended these unhealthy cycles in her life, her entire generational line benefits from it! When we break generational patterns & cycles in our lives, it does not just impact us, but also everyone in our lives. Christ’s desire is always to heal the root cause of unhealthy patterns in us. In this episode, we answer questions like: - what is cycle breaking & reparenting? - can you go to therapy and fully trust Jesus at the same exact time? - how can you change the trajectory of your life by changing your thoughts? - can you fully heal if you do not know Christ yet? Prayer Prompts: (I apologize for not putting these questions into the recording) 1. Ask the Lord to highlight any generational patterns or unhealthy cycles in your family line. 2. Ask Him "What is the root cause of this pattern in my life?" 3. Ask Him to minister to you & show you the Truth. Ask "What do You say about this?" 4. Ask Him to show you the next step in the healing process. Resources For You: The Body Keeps The Score - https://www.besselvanderkolk.com/resources/the-body-keeps-the-score Madeline’s Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/wholemamawholebaby/ Summer 2023 playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/05R9lmKit27denOSOi26wq Summer Worship 2023 playlist: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/1AGzVnXzivDFsxk3bA7kzV Leave a Review: https://www.podpage.com/head-to-heart/reviews/new/ Follow me on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/headtoheart_podcast/ Website: https://www.podpage.com/head-to-heart/ FREE JOURNALING PROMPTS TO CULTIVATE CONTENTMENT: https://view.flodesk.com/pages/644afe08a15cc2e3944db516
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Welcome to Head to Heart
Podcast.
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I'm your host, Jenny Markham.
This biweekly podcast is created
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to be a safe space to admit what
we truly believe in.
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Our hearts and many of us, when
we take the time to truly
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examine ourselves, will find
some sort of shame, fear or lies
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hiding in there.
And it is never God's will for
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us to stay in bondage to those.
It's His truth that sets us free
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from them.
But there's a huge difference
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between having biblical
knowledge floating around in
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our.
Heads, and actually believing
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that it's true.
Until God's truth makes its way
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into our hearts, nothing
changes.
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We'll be doing a mix of solo
episodes and interviews with
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friends who have experienced the
freedom that comes when head
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knowledge becomes heart
knowledge.
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We'll also have a time of prayer
where you will have a chance to
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respond to what God is inviting
you into.
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At the end of each episode, the
truth will set you free so you
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can walk every day in the
freedom God desires for you.
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It's time to let go of shame,
fear, and lies.
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Those aren't yours to carry.
Thanks for joining us.
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Welcome back to Head to Heart
Podcast.
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I'm your host Jenny Markham.
Today is a very special episode.
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I am bringing one of my friends,
Madeline and I almost said
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you're oh geez, I almost said
you're maiden name.
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Yes.
But Madeline, did I say that
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right?
Yes, that's correct.
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So Madeline, why don't you take
a minute, introduce yourself,
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who you are, what you're doing
currently, fun facts, your
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family, anything like that.
Yeah, sure.
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Thank you so much, Jenny, for
having me.
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I really, really appreciate it.
It's so fun to see you creating
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this podcast and don't having
people join.
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So thank you so much.
Yeah, it's my joy to have you.
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Awesome.
Yeah, well, my name is Madeline
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Pena, as you said, and I am a
mother to a 20 month old and a
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seven month old Judah and
Arabella.
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And I have my lovely husband
Marcos.
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He yeah him and I have been
married for about 3 1/2 years
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now and currently I am a stay at
home mom.
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I have been since my son was
born, but I.
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Exploring new territory and
getting back into kind of
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marketing.
And I've actually just now
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started working it with the
children's ministry, which I'm
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so excited about to help other
parents.
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And then, yeah, I've just been
dabbling about on social media
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and just getting content out
there to help other parents.
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So yeah, it's been really
exciting, really fun.
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One fun fact is that I've
actually lived in Papua New
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Guinea and it is, you know, one
of the most remote, isolated
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places on Earth.
So it was very amazing.
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Wow.
And how long did you live there?
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Yeah, about three months.
That's insane.
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Did you feel isolated when you
were living there?
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I did.
I definitely did.
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It feels like you're like
literally back 1000 years.
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Like that's how.
Absolutely different it is
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compared to America.
Well, I was like more than just
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island feel.
It's like you are cut off from
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any mainland.
Yes, yes.
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I remember not having cell phone
service and you know, not being
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connected to the outside world
hardly at all.
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Wow, okay.
So Madeline, the $1,000,000
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question.
Here it is.
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What have you been set free
from?
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Yes, I would say it's worth more
than a million.
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Praise God for all he has done.
It is just like a huge slew of
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things, so.
So as far as the things that
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I've been set free from, I would
say starting just off the top of
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my head, definitely mental
health issues.
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So I've overcome an eating
disorder, addiction, anxiety,
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depression, and yeah, it's just
been a lot self harm and then
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some of the.
The things I'm still overcoming
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are like codependency, people
pleasing, perfectionism.
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But yeah, I grew up in a very
abusive world, very abusive
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household, and it just created a
lot of issues in my life.
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Everything is all glory to God.
He has set me free from all of
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this.
So I would say that it kind of
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started.
My my healing journey started
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simultaneously with my spiritual
walk with Jesus.
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So when I was totally, radically
saved by Jesus, I was just in in
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very much despair.
I was very depressed.
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I was addicted to a lot of
substances.
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I was incredibly promiscuous and
just really was super alone.
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So when Jesus saved me from
that, I knew that I could no
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longer turn to those things to
numb out the pain of the sexual
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abuse and the physical abuse and
emotional abuse that I've
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experienced.
So it's kind of in this weird in
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between of.
OK, so I can't numb anymore with
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these things, but I am still
super broken.
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Jesus really took me on a
journey of being very, very
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humble.
So I I humbled myself in order
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to be discipled and I definitely
turned to professionals for
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help.
So my first therapist that I
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ever had was just absolutely
amazing, and I'm so thankful
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that I had her during that
season of my life because it was
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really dark.
I know a lot of Christians when
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they first become believers, it
can be like this really happy
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experience.
And it was, there was a lot of
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joy to be found.
But it was also incredibly dark
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and scary because all of my
demons were coming out, you
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know, they weren't they weren't
being soothed anymore.
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I wasn't being pacified by
anything.
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And I really had to come to
terms with everything that had
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happened to me and.
What I'd chosen to to numb
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myself with, say, you know,
after I was wrestling with the
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Lord and wrestling with myself
on, no longer turning to my
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addictions, there was still all
these things coming up.
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So I still was pacifying myself
as a Christian.
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I could no longer go back to
those things, right, Because
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that is like blatant sin.
But then it was easier to kind
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of.
Fly into the radar and feel like
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I wasn't doing anything wrong
by, you know, using eating
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disorder and then once I got out
of treatment for that, then self
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harm.
So it's kind of just been like
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this long journey of not
addiction hopping as they say,
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but actually healing the root
cause of the problem, you know,
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And I I believe only Jesus can
do that.
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And that's definitely something
that I want to start being able
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to portray.
Is just kind of the idea of
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where Jesus meets mental the
mental health world and therapy
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and everything.
So that's definitely something I
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am trying to work on well.
And so praise God, you are
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absolutely right.
And now you are a mother of two.
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And so, so much of what you're
sharing on social media and then
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working through currently is how
do you not?
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Carry the past things that
you've dealt with onto the way
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that you parent your kids.
And so I would just love if you
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would define what you think
cycle breaking is and then re
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parenting I think that.
If.
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Anyone follows any parenting
account on social media
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nowadays?
They've probably heard one of
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those two terms, so would you
just define what they are for
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us?
Yeah, the way I would define
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cycle breaking and this is just
kind of like from my own.
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My own words, but I would say
that it is consciously deciding
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to not pass down generational
trauma to your children.
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Yeah.
And would you say the same for
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reparenting or are those like
two different things kind of go
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along together?
Yeah, they definitely go along
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together, but they they aren't
the same.
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Well, let's say with
reparenting, that is a way of
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breaking the cycle, right?
So when we reparent ourselves.
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It's first we're becoming aware
and conscious of our inner child
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and then identifying, you know,
our inner child's wounds and
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parenting her in a new way.
So cycle breaking is where
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you're parenting your children
in a new way.
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So kind.
It goes hand in hand for sure.
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But yeah, slightly different.
Slightly different.
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Yeah, this.
Reminds me so much.
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Of just.
Generational patterns, like
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that's the term that I know in
my head.
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And then I feel like cycle
breaking is the same exact
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thing, just with a different
name on it.
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Yeah, I would definitely say so.
Well, you said you said
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generational patterns.
Yeah, I think cycle breaking is
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taking it one step further of
actually breaking the patterns,
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right.
So, yeah, identifying and then
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breaking it is so, so important.
Yeah.
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And I would just add to the
reparenting that you know.
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When we're parenting ourselves
in a new way, our inner child,
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we are repairing hurts and
healing.
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And actually it's really
interesting because one of the
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best books on this subject is
The Body Keeps the Score.
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Yes, I've read that.
Such a good, have you?
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Yes it is, and it's such a big
it's such a big one, but for
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great reason.
So that's that's definitely a
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great resource for anyone.
But yeah, so as you would know
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Jenny, then it you know it
addresses how our trauma is
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forever stored in our body.
So that's kind of the the idea
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behind re parenting.
It's like the traumas there,
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even if our minds have forgotten
or our minds have numbed it out,
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that doesn't mean that our body
won't remember, you know.
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Yeah, so.
When we're re parenting, we are
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acknowledging that trapped
trauma, basically.
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So we're talking about this in
context of you parenting your
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two children, and this obviously
does apply to all parents, but
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would you say it's just for
parents or do you think it
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applies to anyone else?
Yeah, yeah.
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I think that this can definitely
apply to anyone listening
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because.
Even if you don't plan on
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becoming a parent, this is still
important for you and for your
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inner child.
If you feel like there's pieces
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missing for your inner child and
then it's just it's important
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for for the world.
I mean, when you're more whole
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and you're healed, you can
better anyone around you, You
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know what I mean?
So this, this can definitely
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help anyone.
But you know, even as a single
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person, I was working on this
stuff and I didn't.
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Know that it was going to be
benefiting my children so much,
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but I'm so thankful I started
the work when I did because
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gosh, that was six, was it six
years ago, Seven years ago.
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So I mean it's it's and I'm not
anywhere close to being, you
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know, perfect.
So yeah, it takes a long time
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and so really anyone can start
at any time and you will not be
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sorry for starting.
That's such a hopeful message,
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like there's hope for everyone.
Yes, totally, totally.
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And I would just say, you know,
it's a, it's an incredibly
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important and especially
important for parents because
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you're not only breaking your
own trauma cycles, but then
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you're not passing that down to
your children.
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So it's it's kind of, you know,
multiplies in that way.
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Yeah.
And so if someone's listening
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and they're like, OK, well, how
do I know if I need to break
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some cycles in my own life?
What are some signs that would
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show them there is some cycle
breaking to be done?
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Yeah, definitely.
So like a little bit of my story
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and then I'll touch on some
other things too.
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So a little bit of my story is,
you know, obvious.
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There's the obvious things for
anyone listening.
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So if you have any type of
addiction, so addiction can even
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be addicted to screens, to
social media.
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You don't have to be a heroin
addict to have an addiction, you
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know?
So anything that you or numb
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that ultimately isn't.
Resourcing yourself or
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resourcing Jesus, you know, as
an addiction, basically.
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And you know, even if you're
promiscuous, that can be, you
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know, a big one.
Attention seeking.
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Then there's codependency
perfectionism.
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People pleasing.
And then if you've noticed, like
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you said, Jenny, the
generational patterns or
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generational trauma, if you've
noticed that that's a pretty
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good indication like, oh hey, my
great grandfather and great,
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great grandfather, everyone in
my family has had, you know,
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alcohol in their family, that's,
you know, alcohol addiction in
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their.
Lives.
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That's a good indication that
you know, there's some
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generational trauma.
And then if you've ever gotten a
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mental health diagnosis.
So I would, I would argue that
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that, you know, is always linked
to trauma.
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But I could be wrong.
But in my experience and what
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I've learned and what I've heard
other, you know, therapists talk
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about, it's it's usually linked
to trauma.
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Yeah.
And if we're looking at our.
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You know, family and
grandparents, great
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grandparents, whatever.
And we see some patterns in
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there.
So we think, OK, I need to start
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cycle breaking.
What are some small steps that
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listeners can take to then
correct those negative cycles?
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Yeah, it's so good.
I would say first and foremost.
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Look at your relationship with
Jesus.
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Speak him.
If you don't know him, he is the
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ultimate resource.
But if you are a Christ
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follower, then definitely reach
out to your community.
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Don't be silent about it.
Reach out for support.
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So that could be like a mental
health professional or even if
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you have like a mentor.
Ask for prayer.
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Small group, leader, pastor,
anyone you can reach out to.
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Just start talking about it.
It can be so easy to feel
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silenced, especially when we're
talking about, you know, we're
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talking about generational
trauma or trauma in general.
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There's always, pretty much
always shame attached, you know
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what I mean?
So it can be hard to talk about.
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But doing that and making sure
that whoever you're talking to
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is a safe person, that is really
important.
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Like.
If they've proven themselves to
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be safe because you don't wanna
over share to someone who you're
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not sure is safe because that
can be pretty damaging.
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And then yeah, doing something
artistic like I know for me
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00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,830
going through some of my really
dark times like poetry,
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journaling can help a lot.
If you write music, music can
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00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:10,990
help.
All the arts I think are super
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healing.
So just kind of starting to get
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it out there and.
Creating and and then just
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00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:20,390
notice and be curious of
yourself That is super
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00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:22,790
important.
Not being judgmental of
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00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:26,550
yourself.
Just noticing hey, like I I have
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these thoughts or hey, like I I
have this tendency and not being
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shameful because you've probably
experienced enough shame and
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00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:39,070
it's not gonna help.
And so yeah.
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And then just praying, asking
Jesus like how he wants you to
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work through it with him.
I mean, he is so gentle.
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He's so gentle.
I like what you said about not
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judging our own emotions,
because that's where shame comes
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00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:56,340
from, really, is that we feel
things and then we judge
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ourselves for feeling those
things.
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00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:01,060
And it's never helpful to us.
It's never helpful to our
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healing process or anything like
that.
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Yes, so true.
Yeah.
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Thank you so much for
reiterating that, because that
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is a big one for sure.
So Madeline, where have you
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00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,680
seen?
Victories.
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00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,920
Little or big victories in
reparenting yourself and
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00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,119
bringing this healing to the
Lord, knowing He's the only one
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who can truly make us.
You know that new creation in
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00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,040
Christ.
So where have you seen victories
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00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,720
in how you now live your life as
opposed to who you once were?
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00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,400
Yeah, that is so good.
That's a great question.
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00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:43,550
Well, I didn't know that over
the past year I've had some
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00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:47,470
pretty big breakthroughs, I
would say, yeah, no, I would say
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00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:54,230
that one of the biggest ones is
that I'm no longer, no longer
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00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:58,830
acting on my thoughts.
That's a really big thing where
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00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,550
I've noticed that like I am not
my thoughts.
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00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:08,880
So basically let's say.
I feel like self harming and I
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00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,560
noticed like hey I don't have to
do that just because I want to
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00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:17,360
just I can ride this wave of
emotion and I will be OK at that
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00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,960
end of it.
And that's what's so important I
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00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:24,560
think even for parenting and
that I was never given was that
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00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,920
idea of Co regulating.
So if we aren't given that Co
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00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,040
regulator as a young child, it's
really, really hard for us to
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00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,560
regulate ourselves as adults and
so for me.
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00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:39,380
For me, these emotions, I've
always just been so big and so
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00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:44,780
scary and it's like, OK, I have
to do XY&Z to to soothe myself
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00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:48,700
rather than just saying, hey,
I'm going to ride this wave and
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00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:51,100
I don't have to soothe myself
anymore.
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00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:55,740
I think that that's been one of
the the biggest things that I've
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00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:57,900
I've seen.
And then the other thing would
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00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:04,060
just say, I would say is my
thoughts are not my reality, so.
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00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:08,030
Like I I think it's been really
really hard and I'm being super
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00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:09,990
vulnerable here.
But I've had some thoughts come
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00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:15,110
up towards my kids where it is
so left field and it is so it's
312
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,750
kind of dark and it's just not
me at all.
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00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:21,270
And I think in the past if I
would have had those thoughts to
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00:19:21,270 --> 00:19:24,830
about myself or my kids or
anyone, I would have condemned
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00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,950
myself and been like ohh my
gosh, I'm just like a terrible
316
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:31,990
person, you know Or ohh my gosh
that must be true if I'm
317
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:34,590
thinking it.
But now I've come to.
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00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:39,070
To grasp that that's not me.
I honestly think some of those
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00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:41,830
thoughts I have towards my kids
is just my trauma speaking.
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00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:44,750
It's just my inner child saying,
hey, this is what you heard
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00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,470
about yourself.
And so I take those as an
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00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:53,070
opportunity to look back and
say, oh, OK, that's where I was
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00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:56,100
wounded.
And there goes, you know,
324
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,580
breaking the trauma cycle.
I'm not going to think that
325
00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:01,700
about my kids, let alone act on
it, let alone say it.
326
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,980
I hope that's making sense.
Yeah, that is.
327
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,100
It's because I haven't actually
processed that too.
328
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:12,980
It sounds exactly like you are
taking the verse of taking
329
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:16,540
thought, taking every thought
captive, and teaching it to obey
330
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,300
Christ.
And that sounds like you're
331
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:22,540
applying it in your own life as
you walk out every day.
332
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,640
Yes, thank you so much.
But a lot of it has just been
333
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,000
him personally coming to me and
and working through it with him
334
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,400
and my therapist and through
prayer and just bringing him
335
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,560
into my into my thought life.
Yeah, yeah.
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00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,160
And you have, you know, the Lord
helping you regulate those
337
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,160
thoughts and emotions.
And then you also have a
338
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,880
therapist.
And I think that's beautiful.
339
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,280
How like they can both work
together to be homeless.
340
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,400
Don't even get me started on the
whole thing about Christians not
341
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,040
having a therapist.
I'm like, oh brother, my
342
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,400
therapist.
Yeah, don't even get me started.
343
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,200
God has used my therapist, even
my secular therapist like that
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00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,000
I've had in the past.
I mean, God has really used
345
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,800
them.
But right now, I've had the same
346
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,920
therapist for a few years and
she's totally spirit led.
347
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:20,400
And totally just pours, you
know, pours out the Lord's heart
348
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,680
and helps me to navigate all of
this with the Holy Spirit.
349
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:29,320
So it's like it's a ministry of
hers, you know, and I think, you
350
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,040
know, the Holy Spirit is
referred to in Scripture as the
351
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,840
counselor.
So I know that's that's argument
352
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,120
enough that people can go to
therapy and still fully trust
353
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,890
the Lord.
Amen.
354
00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:42,050
Amen.
And I I think something else
355
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:45,850
too, Johnny, that I did want to
really talk about was just the
356
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:49,010
fact that Jesus is the ultimate
reparenter.
357
00:21:49,730 --> 00:21:53,770
And that's something I'm really
trying to trying to convey and
358
00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:56,530
I've just been praying on, OK,
how do I convey this especially
359
00:21:56,530 --> 00:22:01,370
to secular people because
because we can repair ourselves,
360
00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:03,610
right.
And that's that's something that
361
00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:07,130
the whole whether you believe in
Jesus or not, you can repair
362
00:22:07,130 --> 00:22:10,510
yourself but.
I know from my own personal
363
00:22:10,510 --> 00:22:14,030
experience that sometimes I'm
not even the best parent to
364
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:17,630
prepare myself.
And Jesus is the ultimate parent
365
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:23,310
and he's so gentle and so kind.
So I would just say that, you
366
00:22:23,310 --> 00:22:27,430
know, he is the one who can
really do that, that deep, deep
367
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,750
work that even we can't do for
ourselves.
368
00:22:30,670 --> 00:22:33,190
Yeah.
Like if you don't have the Lord.
369
00:22:33,630 --> 00:22:37,270
There is maybe an element, a
level of healing you can.
370
00:22:37,270 --> 00:22:41,750
Reach you know totally about it.
You know by yourself, and then
371
00:22:41,750 --> 00:22:43,870
with others, your community, a
therapist.
372
00:22:44,150 --> 00:22:46,750
But then when you have the Lord,
it it.
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00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:51,350
Just isn't on a whole new.
Yes, exactly.
374
00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:55,150
I mean it.
He what Jesus can do is he can
375
00:22:55,150 --> 00:22:57,950
redeem this situation, right?
I mean, we know that He's the
376
00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:59,990
Great Redeemer, so not only can
he.
377
00:23:00,450 --> 00:23:02,770
Take it away.
But he can actually make
378
00:23:02,770 --> 00:23:05,930
something beautiful out of the
out of the dust.
379
00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:08,810
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that about him.
380
00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:10,650
Yes.
I know.
381
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:13,610
Me too.
So, Madeline, do you have any
382
00:23:13,610 --> 00:23:16,770
final encouragements for
listeners who are have been
383
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:20,290
listening his episode and
they're just like, OK, now it's
384
00:23:20,290 --> 00:23:22,490
time for action.
What would you encourage them
385
00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:25,810
with?
Yeah, I would definitely say
386
00:23:26,570 --> 00:23:28,930
don't be complacent.
You know, don't.
387
00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:33,940
Just listen to this and not take
a step forward.
388
00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:36,900
If you have something on your
heart that you feel like you
389
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:40,700
need to work on, I would
definitely say to ask Jesus, ask
390
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:44,500
the Holy Spirit, ask our Father.
You know what you need to work
391
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:49,520
on, if there's anything.
I think oftentimes we can numb
392
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:54,200
out our trauma or just kind of
disregard it, but that isn't
393
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,480
gonna really help ultimately in
the long run.
394
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,040
So just being really aware of
yourself, really kind, very
395
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,720
curious towards yourself, become
passionate.
396
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,160
And it's OK if you aren't ready
to take those steps.
397
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,680
But eventually I would you know,
I would work towards that and
398
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,360
ask the Lord to give you
strength.
399
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,680
I think that's one of the
beautiful things is like when we
400
00:24:16,190 --> 00:24:19,070
go about this healing journey
with the Lord, the pressure is
401
00:24:19,070 --> 00:24:22,470
not on us, you know?
Yeah, we kind of just surrender
402
00:24:22,470 --> 00:24:24,510
the facts.
Like okay, Well, I can't really
403
00:24:24,950 --> 00:24:27,830
deeply change myself, but he
can.
404
00:24:27,830 --> 00:24:30,190
And he's fighting.
For me, Hallelujah.
405
00:24:30,190 --> 00:24:32,550
Yes.
I totally agree.
406
00:24:32,590 --> 00:24:34,550
I totally agree.
Yeah.
407
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,040
So Madeline, if someone is
scrolling through their
408
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,280
Instagram and they want to find
you, how would they be able to
409
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,840
do that?
Thank you.
410
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:47,040
Yeah, you can search me at my
handle is at whole Mama, whole
411
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,360
baby.
And that's WHOLE, whole.
412
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,600
Well, thank you so much for
being the guest today, Madeline,
413
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,920
because you have a lot of just
experience and wise things to
414
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,320
say about your encounters with
the Lord and how he's brought
415
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,740
you through deeper healing.
Thank you so much, Jenny.
416
00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:07,740
This was such a pleasure.
I really appreciate this and it
417
00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:14,660
was great to speak with you.
Thank you so much for listening
418
00:25:14,660 --> 00:25:16,500
to this episode of Head to Heart
Podcast.
419
00:25:16,940 --> 00:25:20,620
It's a joy to record them and a
joy to have you listen Since
420
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:23,260
you're a dedicated listener and
made it to the very end of the
421
00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,580
episode.
I have two gifts for you.
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00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:30,180
One is that I have a free
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00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:32,450
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It's a resource created to help
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00:25:32,450 --> 00:25:35,330
you take the truth you've
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00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:37,850
or in a previous one and apply
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So you now have full access to
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get more amazing guests on the
440
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show in the future.
I'll be releasing new episodes
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to you every other Friday, so
stay tuned and thanks for
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00:26:32,770 --> 00:26:33,330
joining us.
00:00:04,560 --> 00:00:06,240
Welcome to Head to Heart
Podcast.
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00:00:06,680 --> 00:00:11,240
I'm your host, Jenny Markham.
This biweekly podcast is created
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00:00:11,240 --> 00:00:14,560
to be a safe space to admit what
we truly believe in.
4
00:00:14,560 --> 00:00:18,240
Our hearts and many of us, when
we take the time to truly
5
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:22,640
examine ourselves, will find
some sort of shame, fear or lies
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00:00:22,640 --> 00:00:25,640
hiding in there.
And it is never God's will for
7
00:00:25,640 --> 00:00:29,700
us to stay in bondage to those.
It's His truth that sets us free
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00:00:29,700 --> 00:00:32,540
from them.
But there's a huge difference
9
00:00:32,540 --> 00:00:35,060
between having biblical
knowledge floating around in
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00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:37,420
our.
Heads, and actually believing
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00:00:37,420 --> 00:00:40,780
that it's true.
Until God's truth makes its way
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00:00:40,780 --> 00:00:42,980
into our hearts, nothing
changes.
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00:00:43,820 --> 00:00:46,540
We'll be doing a mix of solo
episodes and interviews with
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00:00:46,540 --> 00:00:50,300
friends who have experienced the
freedom that comes when head
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00:00:50,300 --> 00:00:52,100
knowledge becomes heart
knowledge.
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00:00:53,140 --> 00:00:56,140
We'll also have a time of prayer
where you will have a chance to
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00:00:56,140 --> 00:00:58,300
respond to what God is inviting
you into.
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00:00:58,380 --> 00:01:02,780
At the end of each episode, the
truth will set you free so you
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can walk every day in the
freedom God desires for you.
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It's time to let go of shame,
fear, and lies.
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Those aren't yours to carry.
Thanks for joining us.
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00:01:17,020 --> 00:01:18,780
Welcome back to Head to Heart
Podcast.
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00:01:18,820 --> 00:01:22,670
I'm your host Jenny Markham.
Today is a very special episode.
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I am bringing one of my friends,
Madeline and I almost said
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you're oh geez, I almost said
you're maiden name.
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Yes.
But Madeline, did I say that
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right?
Yes, that's correct.
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So Madeline, why don't you take
a minute, introduce yourself,
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who you are, what you're doing
currently, fun facts, your
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family, anything like that.
Yeah, sure.
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Thank you so much, Jenny, for
having me.
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I really, really appreciate it.
It's so fun to see you creating
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this podcast and don't having
people join.
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00:01:56,590 --> 00:01:59,910
So thank you so much.
Yeah, it's my joy to have you.
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Awesome.
Yeah, well, my name is Madeline
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Pena, as you said, and I am a
mother to a 20 month old and a
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seven month old Judah and
Arabella.
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And I have my lovely husband
Marcos.
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He yeah him and I have been
married for about 3 1/2 years
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now and currently I am a stay at
home mom.
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I have been since my son was
born, but I.
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Exploring new territory and
getting back into kind of
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marketing.
And I've actually just now
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started working it with the
children's ministry, which I'm
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so excited about to help other
parents.
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And then, yeah, I've just been
dabbling about on social media
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and just getting content out
there to help other parents.
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So yeah, it's been really
exciting, really fun.
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One fun fact is that I've
actually lived in Papua New
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Guinea and it is, you know, one
of the most remote, isolated
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places on Earth.
So it was very amazing.
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Wow.
And how long did you live there?
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Yeah, about three months.
That's insane.
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Did you feel isolated when you
were living there?
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I did.
I definitely did.
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It feels like you're like
literally back 1000 years.
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Like that's how.
Absolutely different it is
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compared to America.
Well, I was like more than just
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island feel.
It's like you are cut off from
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any mainland.
Yes, yes.
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I remember not having cell phone
service and you know, not being
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connected to the outside world
hardly at all.
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Wow, okay.
So Madeline, the $1,000,000
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question.
Here it is.
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What have you been set free
from?
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Yes, I would say it's worth more
than a million.
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Praise God for all he has done.
It is just like a huge slew of
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things, so.
So as far as the things that
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I've been set free from, I would
say starting just off the top of
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my head, definitely mental
health issues.
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So I've overcome an eating
disorder, addiction, anxiety,
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depression, and yeah, it's just
been a lot self harm and then
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some of the.
The things I'm still overcoming
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are like codependency, people
pleasing, perfectionism.
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But yeah, I grew up in a very
abusive world, very abusive
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household, and it just created a
lot of issues in my life.
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Everything is all glory to God.
He has set me free from all of
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this.
So I would say that it kind of
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started.
My my healing journey started
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00:05:02,170 --> 00:05:06,610
simultaneously with my spiritual
walk with Jesus.
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So when I was totally, radically
saved by Jesus, I was just in in
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very much despair.
I was very depressed.
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I was addicted to a lot of
substances.
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I was incredibly promiscuous and
just really was super alone.
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So when Jesus saved me from
that, I knew that I could no
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longer turn to those things to
numb out the pain of the sexual
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abuse and the physical abuse and
emotional abuse that I've
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experienced.
So it's kind of in this weird in
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between of.
OK, so I can't numb anymore with
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these things, but I am still
super broken.
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Jesus really took me on a
journey of being very, very
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humble.
So I I humbled myself in order
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to be discipled and I definitely
turned to professionals for
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help.
So my first therapist that I
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ever had was just absolutely
amazing, and I'm so thankful
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that I had her during that
season of my life because it was
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00:06:21,800 --> 00:06:24,890
really dark.
I know a lot of Christians when
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they first become believers, it
can be like this really happy
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experience.
And it was, there was a lot of
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joy to be found.
But it was also incredibly dark
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and scary because all of my
demons were coming out, you
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know, they weren't they weren't
being soothed anymore.
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I wasn't being pacified by
anything.
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And I really had to come to
terms with everything that had
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happened to me and.
What I'd chosen to to numb
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myself with, say, you know,
after I was wrestling with the
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Lord and wrestling with myself
on, no longer turning to my
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addictions, there was still all
these things coming up.
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So I still was pacifying myself
as a Christian.
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I could no longer go back to
those things, right, Because
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that is like blatant sin.
But then it was easier to kind
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of.
Fly into the radar and feel like
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I wasn't doing anything wrong
by, you know, using eating
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disorder and then once I got out
of treatment for that, then self
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harm.
So it's kind of just been like
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this long journey of not
addiction hopping as they say,
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but actually healing the root
cause of the problem, you know,
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And I I believe only Jesus can
do that.
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And that's definitely something
that I want to start being able
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to portray.
Is just kind of the idea of
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where Jesus meets mental the
mental health world and therapy
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and everything.
So that's definitely something I
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am trying to work on well.
And so praise God, you are
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absolutely right.
And now you are a mother of two.
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And so, so much of what you're
sharing on social media and then
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working through currently is how
do you not?
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Carry the past things that
you've dealt with onto the way
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that you parent your kids.
And so I would just love if you
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would define what you think
cycle breaking is and then re
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parenting I think that.
If.
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Anyone follows any parenting
account on social media
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nowadays?
They've probably heard one of
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those two terms, so would you
just define what they are for
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us?
Yeah, the way I would define
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cycle breaking and this is just
kind of like from my own.
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My own words, but I would say
that it is consciously deciding
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to not pass down generational
trauma to your children.
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Yeah.
And would you say the same for
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reparenting or are those like
two different things kind of go
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along together?
Yeah, they definitely go along
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together, but they they aren't
the same.
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Well, let's say with
reparenting, that is a way of
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breaking the cycle, right?
So when we reparent ourselves.
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It's first we're becoming aware
and conscious of our inner child
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and then identifying, you know,
our inner child's wounds and
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parenting her in a new way.
So cycle breaking is where
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you're parenting your children
in a new way.
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So kind.
It goes hand in hand for sure.
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But yeah, slightly different.
Slightly different.
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Yeah, this.
Reminds me so much.
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Of just.
Generational patterns, like
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that's the term that I know in
my head.
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And then I feel like cycle
breaking is the same exact
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thing, just with a different
name on it.
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Yeah, I would definitely say so.
Well, you said you said
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generational patterns.
Yeah, I think cycle breaking is
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taking it one step further of
actually breaking the patterns,
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right.
So, yeah, identifying and then
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breaking it is so, so important.
Yeah.
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And I would just add to the
reparenting that you know.
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When we're parenting ourselves
in a new way, our inner child,
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we are repairing hurts and
healing.
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And actually it's really
interesting because one of the
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best books on this subject is
The Body Keeps the Score.
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Yes, I've read that.
Such a good, have you?
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Yes it is, and it's such a big
it's such a big one, but for
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great reason.
So that's that's definitely a
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great resource for anyone.
But yeah, so as you would know
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Jenny, then it you know it
addresses how our trauma is
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forever stored in our body.
So that's kind of the the idea
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behind re parenting.
It's like the traumas there,
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even if our minds have forgotten
or our minds have numbed it out,
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that doesn't mean that our body
won't remember, you know.
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Yeah, so.
When we're re parenting, we are
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acknowledging that trapped
trauma, basically.
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So we're talking about this in
context of you parenting your
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two children, and this obviously
does apply to all parents, but
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would you say it's just for
parents or do you think it
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applies to anyone else?
Yeah, yeah.
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I think that this can definitely
apply to anyone listening
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because.
Even if you don't plan on
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becoming a parent, this is still
important for you and for your
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inner child.
If you feel like there's pieces
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missing for your inner child and
then it's just it's important
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for for the world.
I mean, when you're more whole
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and you're healed, you can
better anyone around you, You
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know what I mean?
So this, this can definitely
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help anyone.
But you know, even as a single
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person, I was working on this
stuff and I didn't.
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Know that it was going to be
benefiting my children so much,
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but I'm so thankful I started
the work when I did because
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gosh, that was six, was it six
years ago, Seven years ago.
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So I mean it's it's and I'm not
anywhere close to being, you
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know, perfect.
So yeah, it takes a long time
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and so really anyone can start
at any time and you will not be
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sorry for starting.
That's such a hopeful message,
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like there's hope for everyone.
Yes, totally, totally.
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And I would just say, you know,
it's a, it's an incredibly
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important and especially
important for parents because
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you're not only breaking your
own trauma cycles, but then
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you're not passing that down to
your children.
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So it's it's kind of, you know,
multiplies in that way.
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Yeah.
And so if someone's listening
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and they're like, OK, well, how
do I know if I need to break
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some cycles in my own life?
What are some signs that would
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show them there is some cycle
breaking to be done?
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Yeah, definitely.
So like a little bit of my story
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and then I'll touch on some
other things too.
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So a little bit of my story is,
you know, obvious.
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There's the obvious things for
anyone listening.
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So if you have any type of
addiction, so addiction can even
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be addicted to screens, to
social media.
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00:13:10,640 --> 00:13:13,440
You don't have to be a heroin
addict to have an addiction, you
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00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:16,640
know?
So anything that you or numb
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00:13:16,640 --> 00:13:20,380
that ultimately isn't.
Resourcing yourself or
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resourcing Jesus, you know, as
an addiction, basically.
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And you know, even if you're
promiscuous, that can be, you
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know, a big one.
Attention seeking.
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Then there's codependency
perfectionism.
220
00:13:38,960 --> 00:13:42,240
People pleasing.
And then if you've noticed, like
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you said, Jenny, the
generational patterns or
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generational trauma, if you've
noticed that that's a pretty
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00:13:47,200 --> 00:13:52,640
good indication like, oh hey, my
great grandfather and great,
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great grandfather, everyone in
my family has had, you know,
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00:13:56,200 --> 00:13:59,760
alcohol in their family, that's,
you know, alcohol addiction in
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their.
Lives.
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That's a good indication that
you know, there's some
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00:14:03,710 --> 00:14:06,790
generational trauma.
And then if you've ever gotten a
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mental health diagnosis.
So I would, I would argue that
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that, you know, is always linked
to trauma.
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00:14:14,990 --> 00:14:18,190
But I could be wrong.
But in my experience and what
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I've learned and what I've heard
other, you know, therapists talk
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about, it's it's usually linked
to trauma.
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00:14:24,310 --> 00:14:27,950
Yeah.
And if we're looking at our.
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00:14:28,420 --> 00:14:31,300
You know, family and
grandparents, great
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00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:34,140
grandparents, whatever.
And we see some patterns in
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there.
So we think, OK, I need to start
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00:14:37,300 --> 00:14:40,860
cycle breaking.
What are some small steps that
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00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:45,140
listeners can take to then
correct those negative cycles?
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00:14:46,300 --> 00:14:49,700
Yeah, it's so good.
I would say first and foremost.
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00:14:51,360 --> 00:14:53,320
Look at your relationship with
Jesus.
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00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:57,040
Speak him.
If you don't know him, he is the
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00:14:57,080 --> 00:15:00,960
ultimate resource.
But if you are a Christ
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00:15:00,960 --> 00:15:04,880
follower, then definitely reach
out to your community.
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00:15:04,880 --> 00:15:09,160
Don't be silent about it.
Reach out for support.
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00:15:09,160 --> 00:15:13,160
So that could be like a mental
health professional or even if
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you have like a mentor.
Ask for prayer.
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00:15:16,410 --> 00:15:19,890
Small group, leader, pastor,
anyone you can reach out to.
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00:15:19,890 --> 00:15:22,770
Just start talking about it.
It can be so easy to feel
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00:15:22,770 --> 00:15:28,610
silenced, especially when we're
talking about, you know, we're
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00:15:28,610 --> 00:15:31,850
talking about generational
trauma or trauma in general.
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00:15:31,850 --> 00:15:34,770
There's always, pretty much
always shame attached, you know
253
00:15:34,770 --> 00:15:36,970
what I mean?
So it can be hard to talk about.
254
00:15:36,970 --> 00:15:40,930
But doing that and making sure
that whoever you're talking to
255
00:15:40,970 --> 00:15:43,570
is a safe person, that is really
important.
256
00:15:43,570 --> 00:15:46,350
Like.
If they've proven themselves to
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00:15:46,350 --> 00:15:50,990
be safe because you don't wanna
over share to someone who you're
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00:15:50,990 --> 00:15:53,670
not sure is safe because that
can be pretty damaging.
259
00:15:55,670 --> 00:15:59,590
And then yeah, doing something
artistic like I know for me
260
00:16:00,710 --> 00:16:03,830
going through some of my really
dark times like poetry,
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00:16:03,830 --> 00:16:08,270
journaling can help a lot.
If you write music, music can
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00:16:08,270 --> 00:16:10,990
help.
All the arts I think are super
263
00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:12,670
healing.
So just kind of starting to get
264
00:16:12,670 --> 00:16:16,990
it out there and.
Creating and and then just
265
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:20,390
notice and be curious of
yourself That is super
266
00:16:20,390 --> 00:16:22,790
important.
Not being judgmental of
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00:16:22,790 --> 00:16:26,550
yourself.
Just noticing hey, like I I have
268
00:16:26,550 --> 00:16:31,390
these thoughts or hey, like I I
have this tendency and not being
269
00:16:31,390 --> 00:16:34,550
shameful because you've probably
experienced enough shame and
270
00:16:34,550 --> 00:16:39,070
it's not gonna help.
And so yeah.
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00:16:39,070 --> 00:16:42,190
And then just praying, asking
Jesus like how he wants you to
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00:16:42,190 --> 00:16:45,500
work through it with him.
I mean, he is so gentle.
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00:16:45,660 --> 00:16:49,700
He's so gentle.
I like what you said about not
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00:16:49,700 --> 00:16:53,020
judging our own emotions,
because that's where shame comes
275
00:16:53,020 --> 00:16:56,340
from, really, is that we feel
things and then we judge
276
00:16:56,340 --> 00:16:58,380
ourselves for feeling those
things.
277
00:16:58,380 --> 00:17:01,060
And it's never helpful to us.
It's never helpful to our
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00:17:01,060 --> 00:17:03,100
healing process or anything like
that.
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00:17:03,780 --> 00:17:05,900
Yes, so true.
Yeah.
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00:17:05,900 --> 00:17:08,740
Thank you so much for
reiterating that, because that
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00:17:08,819 --> 00:17:12,940
is a big one for sure.
So Madeline, where have you
282
00:17:12,940 --> 00:17:14,680
seen?
Victories.
283
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:18,920
Little or big victories in
reparenting yourself and
284
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,119
bringing this healing to the
Lord, knowing He's the only one
285
00:17:22,119 --> 00:17:25,800
who can truly make us.
You know that new creation in
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00:17:25,800 --> 00:17:29,040
Christ.
So where have you seen victories
287
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:32,720
in how you now live your life as
opposed to who you once were?
288
00:17:33,840 --> 00:17:37,400
Yeah, that is so good.
That's a great question.
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00:17:38,950 --> 00:17:43,550
Well, I didn't know that over
the past year I've had some
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00:17:43,550 --> 00:17:47,470
pretty big breakthroughs, I
would say, yeah, no, I would say
291
00:17:47,470 --> 00:17:54,230
that one of the biggest ones is
that I'm no longer, no longer
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00:17:54,350 --> 00:17:58,830
acting on my thoughts.
That's a really big thing where
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00:17:58,830 --> 00:18:01,550
I've noticed that like I am not
my thoughts.
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00:18:01,990 --> 00:18:08,880
So basically let's say.
I feel like self harming and I
295
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:12,560
noticed like hey I don't have to
do that just because I want to
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00:18:12,560 --> 00:18:17,360
just I can ride this wave of
emotion and I will be OK at that
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00:18:17,360 --> 00:18:19,960
end of it.
And that's what's so important I
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00:18:19,960 --> 00:18:24,560
think even for parenting and
that I was never given was that
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00:18:24,560 --> 00:18:27,920
idea of Co regulating.
So if we aren't given that Co
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00:18:27,920 --> 00:18:31,040
regulator as a young child, it's
really, really hard for us to
301
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,560
regulate ourselves as adults and
so for me.
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00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:39,380
For me, these emotions, I've
always just been so big and so
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00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:44,780
scary and it's like, OK, I have
to do XY&Z to to soothe myself
304
00:18:45,180 --> 00:18:48,700
rather than just saying, hey,
I'm going to ride this wave and
305
00:18:48,700 --> 00:18:51,100
I don't have to soothe myself
anymore.
306
00:18:51,620 --> 00:18:55,740
I think that that's been one of
the the biggest things that I've
307
00:18:55,740 --> 00:18:57,900
I've seen.
And then the other thing would
308
00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:04,060
just say, I would say is my
thoughts are not my reality, so.
309
00:19:04,790 --> 00:19:08,030
Like I I think it's been really
really hard and I'm being super
310
00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:09,990
vulnerable here.
But I've had some thoughts come
311
00:19:09,990 --> 00:19:15,110
up towards my kids where it is
so left field and it is so it's
312
00:19:15,110 --> 00:19:17,750
kind of dark and it's just not
me at all.
313
00:19:18,070 --> 00:19:21,270
And I think in the past if I
would have had those thoughts to
314
00:19:21,270 --> 00:19:24,830
about myself or my kids or
anyone, I would have condemned
315
00:19:24,830 --> 00:19:27,950
myself and been like ohh my
gosh, I'm just like a terrible
316
00:19:27,950 --> 00:19:31,990
person, you know Or ohh my gosh
that must be true if I'm
317
00:19:31,990 --> 00:19:34,590
thinking it.
But now I've come to.
318
00:19:34,950 --> 00:19:39,070
To grasp that that's not me.
I honestly think some of those
319
00:19:39,070 --> 00:19:41,830
thoughts I have towards my kids
is just my trauma speaking.
320
00:19:41,830 --> 00:19:44,750
It's just my inner child saying,
hey, this is what you heard
321
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,470
about yourself.
And so I take those as an
322
00:19:48,470 --> 00:19:53,070
opportunity to look back and
say, oh, OK, that's where I was
323
00:19:53,070 --> 00:19:56,100
wounded.
And there goes, you know,
324
00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,580
breaking the trauma cycle.
I'm not going to think that
325
00:19:58,580 --> 00:20:01,700
about my kids, let alone act on
it, let alone say it.
326
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,980
I hope that's making sense.
Yeah, that is.
327
00:20:05,900 --> 00:20:08,100
It's because I haven't actually
processed that too.
328
00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:12,980
It sounds exactly like you are
taking the verse of taking
329
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:16,540
thought, taking every thought
captive, and teaching it to obey
330
00:20:16,540 --> 00:20:18,300
Christ.
And that sounds like you're
331
00:20:18,300 --> 00:20:22,540
applying it in your own life as
you walk out every day.
332
00:20:23,600 --> 00:20:26,640
Yes, thank you so much.
But a lot of it has just been
333
00:20:26,640 --> 00:20:30,000
him personally coming to me and
and working through it with him
334
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:34,400
and my therapist and through
prayer and just bringing him
335
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,560
into my into my thought life.
Yeah, yeah.
336
00:20:37,680 --> 00:20:42,160
And you have, you know, the Lord
helping you regulate those
337
00:20:42,160 --> 00:20:45,160
thoughts and emotions.
And then you also have a
338
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:46,880
therapist.
And I think that's beautiful.
339
00:20:46,880 --> 00:20:50,280
How like they can both work
together to be homeless.
340
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:56,400
Don't even get me started on the
whole thing about Christians not
341
00:20:56,400 --> 00:21:00,040
having a therapist.
I'm like, oh brother, my
342
00:21:00,120 --> 00:21:02,400
therapist.
Yeah, don't even get me started.
343
00:21:02,800 --> 00:21:07,200
God has used my therapist, even
my secular therapist like that
344
00:21:07,200 --> 00:21:10,000
I've had in the past.
I mean, God has really used
345
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,800
them.
But right now, I've had the same
346
00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:14,920
therapist for a few years and
she's totally spirit led.
347
00:21:15,160 --> 00:21:20,400
And totally just pours, you
know, pours out the Lord's heart
348
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:24,680
and helps me to navigate all of
this with the Holy Spirit.
349
00:21:24,680 --> 00:21:29,320
So it's like it's a ministry of
hers, you know, and I think, you
350
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:32,040
know, the Holy Spirit is
referred to in Scripture as the
351
00:21:32,040 --> 00:21:34,840
counselor.
So I know that's that's argument
352
00:21:34,840 --> 00:21:38,120
enough that people can go to
therapy and still fully trust
353
00:21:38,120 --> 00:21:39,890
the Lord.
Amen.
354
00:21:39,970 --> 00:21:42,050
Amen.
And I I think something else
355
00:21:42,050 --> 00:21:45,850
too, Johnny, that I did want to
really talk about was just the
356
00:21:45,850 --> 00:21:49,010
fact that Jesus is the ultimate
reparenter.
357
00:21:49,730 --> 00:21:53,770
And that's something I'm really
trying to trying to convey and
358
00:21:53,810 --> 00:21:56,530
I've just been praying on, OK,
how do I convey this especially
359
00:21:56,530 --> 00:22:01,370
to secular people because
because we can repair ourselves,
360
00:22:01,370 --> 00:22:03,610
right.
And that's that's something that
361
00:22:04,010 --> 00:22:07,130
the whole whether you believe in
Jesus or not, you can repair
362
00:22:07,130 --> 00:22:10,510
yourself but.
I know from my own personal
363
00:22:10,510 --> 00:22:14,030
experience that sometimes I'm
not even the best parent to
364
00:22:14,270 --> 00:22:17,630
prepare myself.
And Jesus is the ultimate parent
365
00:22:18,270 --> 00:22:23,310
and he's so gentle and so kind.
So I would just say that, you
366
00:22:23,310 --> 00:22:27,430
know, he is the one who can
really do that, that deep, deep
367
00:22:27,430 --> 00:22:29,750
work that even we can't do for
ourselves.
368
00:22:30,670 --> 00:22:33,190
Yeah.
Like if you don't have the Lord.
369
00:22:33,630 --> 00:22:37,270
There is maybe an element, a
level of healing you can.
370
00:22:37,270 --> 00:22:41,750
Reach you know totally about it.
You know by yourself, and then
371
00:22:41,750 --> 00:22:43,870
with others, your community, a
therapist.
372
00:22:44,150 --> 00:22:46,750
But then when you have the Lord,
it it.
373
00:22:46,750 --> 00:22:51,350
Just isn't on a whole new.
Yes, exactly.
374
00:22:51,350 --> 00:22:55,150
I mean it.
He what Jesus can do is he can
375
00:22:55,150 --> 00:22:57,950
redeem this situation, right?
I mean, we know that He's the
376
00:22:57,950 --> 00:22:59,990
Great Redeemer, so not only can
he.
377
00:23:00,450 --> 00:23:02,770
Take it away.
But he can actually make
378
00:23:02,770 --> 00:23:05,930
something beautiful out of the
out of the dust.
379
00:23:06,250 --> 00:23:08,810
Yeah.
Yeah, I love that about him.
380
00:23:09,650 --> 00:23:10,650
Yes.
I know.
381
00:23:10,650 --> 00:23:13,610
Me too.
So, Madeline, do you have any
382
00:23:13,610 --> 00:23:16,770
final encouragements for
listeners who are have been
383
00:23:16,770 --> 00:23:20,290
listening his episode and
they're just like, OK, now it's
384
00:23:20,290 --> 00:23:22,490
time for action.
What would you encourage them
385
00:23:22,490 --> 00:23:25,810
with?
Yeah, I would definitely say
386
00:23:26,570 --> 00:23:28,930
don't be complacent.
You know, don't.
387
00:23:29,380 --> 00:23:33,940
Just listen to this and not take
a step forward.
388
00:23:33,940 --> 00:23:36,900
If you have something on your
heart that you feel like you
389
00:23:36,900 --> 00:23:40,700
need to work on, I would
definitely say to ask Jesus, ask
390
00:23:40,700 --> 00:23:44,500
the Holy Spirit, ask our Father.
You know what you need to work
391
00:23:44,500 --> 00:23:49,520
on, if there's anything.
I think oftentimes we can numb
392
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:54,200
out our trauma or just kind of
disregard it, but that isn't
393
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,480
gonna really help ultimately in
the long run.
394
00:23:56,480 --> 00:24:00,040
So just being really aware of
yourself, really kind, very
395
00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:02,720
curious towards yourself, become
passionate.
396
00:24:03,360 --> 00:24:06,160
And it's OK if you aren't ready
to take those steps.
397
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:09,680
But eventually I would you know,
I would work towards that and
398
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:11,360
ask the Lord to give you
strength.
399
00:24:12,560 --> 00:24:15,680
I think that's one of the
beautiful things is like when we
400
00:24:16,190 --> 00:24:19,070
go about this healing journey
with the Lord, the pressure is
401
00:24:19,070 --> 00:24:22,470
not on us, you know?
Yeah, we kind of just surrender
402
00:24:22,470 --> 00:24:24,510
the facts.
Like okay, Well, I can't really
403
00:24:24,950 --> 00:24:27,830
deeply change myself, but he
can.
404
00:24:27,830 --> 00:24:30,190
And he's fighting.
For me, Hallelujah.
405
00:24:30,190 --> 00:24:32,550
Yes.
I totally agree.
406
00:24:32,590 --> 00:24:34,550
I totally agree.
Yeah.
407
00:24:35,040 --> 00:24:37,040
So Madeline, if someone is
scrolling through their
408
00:24:37,040 --> 00:24:40,280
Instagram and they want to find
you, how would they be able to
409
00:24:40,400 --> 00:24:41,840
do that?
Thank you.
410
00:24:41,920 --> 00:24:47,040
Yeah, you can search me at my
handle is at whole Mama, whole
411
00:24:47,440 --> 00:24:51,360
baby.
And that's WHOLE, whole.
412
00:24:52,880 --> 00:24:55,600
Well, thank you so much for
being the guest today, Madeline,
413
00:24:55,600 --> 00:24:58,920
because you have a lot of just
experience and wise things to
414
00:24:58,920 --> 00:25:01,320
say about your encounters with
the Lord and how he's brought
415
00:25:01,520 --> 00:25:04,740
you through deeper healing.
Thank you so much, Jenny.
416
00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:07,740
This was such a pleasure.
I really appreciate this and it
417
00:25:07,740 --> 00:25:14,660
was great to speak with you.
Thank you so much for listening
418
00:25:14,660 --> 00:25:16,500
to this episode of Head to Heart
Podcast.
419
00:25:16,940 --> 00:25:20,620
It's a joy to record them and a
joy to have you listen Since
420
00:25:20,620 --> 00:25:23,260
you're a dedicated listener and
made it to the very end of the
421
00:25:23,260 --> 00:25:25,580
episode.
I have two gifts for you.
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00:25:26,860 --> 00:25:30,180
One is that I have a free
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00:25:30,180 --> 00:25:32,450
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It's a resource created to help
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00:25:32,450 --> 00:25:35,330
you take the truth you've
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00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:37,850
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So you now have full access to
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