Is there a secret formula for healthy, conflict-free relationships?

In this episode of @DoAsWeSayPod, @DrLizPowell and @DrNerdLove have an insightful yap session about why so many people approach dating and relationships like they’re trying to solve a logic puzzle, and why that often creates more frustration than it solves.

From clients who expect their therapists to “fix them” to people who would do anything to avoid the friction that comes with being around other people, Harris and Liz have a lot to say about what it means to be vulnerable, the necessity of doing hard things, and how therapy is most effective.

Highlights of the episode:
• Liz’s love for Couples Therapy (you should totally add it to your watchlist!)
• Why love isn’t enough to sustain a relationship
• Breaking up is not failing!!!
• Harris’ boomer opinion about technology…but he’s not wrong 😉

Everyone wants the perfect dating advice or script to say, and while Liz and Harris can’t promise that, they can promise thoughtful discussion and practical tips to help you nurture healthy relationships.

Time Stamps
00:00 - Intro and welcome
00:45 - People who don’t see therapists as human
02:20 - Why understanding why you do something isn’t enough to change
03:35 - The biggest myth TV teaches us about therapy
04:20 - Therapists pay attention to how you relate to them as a person
06:15 - Looking for the “right words” instead of real connection
07:30 - Changing your appearance won’t fix deeper insecurities
08:00 - How watching Couples Therapy exposes relationship pitfalls
11:30 - Why people search for loopholes instead of accountability
15:56 - Why so many people want therapy to “fix” their partner
17:35 - Couples therapy isn’t appropriate for abusive relationships
19:25 - How manipulative people can pull therapists into unhealthy dynamics
21:20 - “The yogurt isn’t the problem” and seeing the bigger picture
23:10 - Dating while neurodivergent
25:00 - Why pretending to be someone else hurts future relationships
26:30 - Objecting to a marriage
29:10 - Love isn’t enough to make people compatible
30:40 - Waiting for someone to change vs. accepting reality
32:10 - Why we stay in relationships long after we should leave
34:10 - Healthy relationships can end and still be successful
35:30 - It’s okay to be the “villain” in someone else’s story
38:55 - You can’t control how other people feel about you
40:05 - Clean endings hurt less than prolonged suffering
40:55 - Technology has lowered our tolerance for discomfort
42:45 - Conflict already exists, you don’t create it by speaking up
44:00 - Learning to tolerate friction in relationships
46:15 - Generational differences, boredom, and resilience
50:22 - There is no perfect relationship formula
52:10 - The limits of logic in relationships
54:00 - The Imago exercise from Cultivating Connections
57:20 - ADHD, executive dysfunction, and why “lazy” isn’t the whole story
1:00:30 - Everyone wants to be understood first
1:02:00 - Dating doesn’t need more buzzwords
1:04:40 - Purity culture, loopholes, and relationship myths
1:06:00 - Growing up through moral panics
1:09:45 - Final dating takeaways and relationship recommendations
1:13:30 - Where to find Harris and Dr. Liz

Stay Connected
📩 Business Inquiries: doaswesaypod@gmail.com
📸 Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/doaswesaypod/
💙 BlueSky: https://bsky.app/profile/doaswesaypod.bsky.social
🐦 Twitter: https://x.com/DoAsWeSayPod
📘 Facebook: facebook.com/doaswesaypod
⏰ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@DoAsWeSayPod

#drnerdlove #drlizpowell #doaswesaypod #datingpodcast #relationshippodcast #relationshipadvice #relationshipconflict #healthyrelationships