The Lie Incels and Looksmaxxers Are Trying to Sell You

Looksmaxxing promises a simple solution: get hotter, get laid. So why are so many men following it…and still miserable?

In this episode of Do As We Say, Not As They Did, Harris O’Malley and Dr. Liz Powell explore the ugly, uglier, and ugliest sides of the looksmaxxing incel communities that, unfortunately, are no longer niche corners on the internet. They break down the origins of the incel and looksmaxxing communities, why it’s gaining popularity, and how this line of thinking only leads to a harmful separation of sex and humanity.

They dig into:

• There is nothing you can do to guarantee romance or success in dating (and that’s okay!)

• How looksmaxxing is more about status with other men than appealing to women

• The role of shame, unprocessed grief, and the just-world fallacy

• Attraction isn’t math (it’s actually just phrenology)

• What you can do to actually be more attractive to women!

So put down the hammer, say no to drugs, and take it from people who aren’t trying to sell you something: the only thing you need for happy, fulfilling romantic relationships is a personality (and a killer stroganoff recipe wouldn’t hurt, either).

Time Stamps

00:00 - Intro & Clavicular update and context

04:16 - What is looksmaxxing (and why it’s everywhere)

05:43 - The origins and rise of looksmaxxing

13:17 - The determinism and lack of accountability in this community

16:48 - Entitlement to women’s bodies and sexual access

20:28 - Broken generational promises

29:13 - Gen Z’s obsession with gooning

32:00 - Reducing your own humanity with the “Sexual Market Value” scale

36:16 - Softmaxxing vs hardmaxxing

37:17 - The harm steroids and meth can cause

41:25 - How Clavicular embodies the grift and attention economy

44:48 - The white supremacist origins of looksmaxxing ideals

48:10 - Why this is actually about male approval

54:13 - Sex for status rather than pleasure

58:38 - Why women aren’t attracted to looksmaxxers

01:02:17 - Looks don’t equate to sexual satisfaction

01:05:41 - The endless grind of looking “perfect”

01:12:28 - Why that mindset will leave you feeling like nothing is ever enough

01:19:45 - What these men actually want

01:22:14 - What these men could have instead

01:22:30 - Actual dating advice

01:25:59 - Where you can find Dr. Liz and Harris

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