#74 Kerri Lake: Generation of Harmony

Intro  00:02

Welcome to Creative spirits unleashed, where we talk about the dilemmas of balancing work and life. And now, here's your host, Lynn Carnes.

Lynn  00:19

Welcome to the creative spirits unleashed Podcast. I'm Lynn Karns, your host, my guest for this episode is Carrie, like founder of generation of harmony. Now, when I share these introductions, it's usually so that you my listeners can relate to the guest and find some common ground. In Kerry's case, her title is going to make that super easy, because this is how she calls herself human. That's her title. It really does a good job of describing the way she shows up in the world in this way. And every interaction she seeks to contribute something of value, which I discovered in this conversation. So while it may seem difficult to pin down, who is Carrie? And what does she do, it becomes clear in a conversation like this. We spoke about so many topics like curiosity, harmony, feel, and love, which I would say love was the theme that ran throughout. Often our thoughts get in the way of what matters. And Kerry spoke of the inner critic, she calls it the mayor of thinking town. It's both funny and an effective way to keep perspective on what goes on in our mind. One thing we didn't talk about, and I wish we had is her project called compass conversations. It's a podcast, and I've been looking into it. It's what I what I love about it, it's about peers learning together. And here's what she says on the website. We are a community of collaborating professionals and peers teaching through conversation, relationship and intuition. We're not telling you what to learn. We're here helping you nourish your passion for learning by sharing our own. Our work and thirst for continuing education has expanded beyond our conventional fields, self awareness and presence have become foundational in our relationships with work family, nature and each other. And when we talked about this, after we recorded the podcast, she said, you know, in a clinic setting where there's more than one clinician, she said, often the best learning happens, kind of amongst the clinicians after everyone is left, so they're kind of sharing in that vein, and that's been my experience in every kind of education gathering I've ever been involved in. So I think you'll get a really good sense of just what a learner Carrie is from this conversation. Now, here's what she says about herself in her bio. Carrie is masterful in many ways. Her awareness began in infancy and included a natural ability to communicate with animals and all of life in subtle realms of consciousness, through energy and presence. She's experienced several near death and expanded consciousness events, each of which reminded her of the dynamic power of living wide awake as a creator with innate wisdom, guidance and communication for many teachers, human and non human. She has developed her gifts to offer clarity and guidance that is relevant to everyday life. Her work helps you recognize your capacity to experience your uniqueness, connection and communication through presence through the heart. Without dependence on a modality or system, Carrie has blazed a new trail on the road to default to freedom from limitations and conditioning. On this trail. All species are welcome and integrate through frequencies of communication. The greatest gift she can give to you is her own purity of expression, sharing her own journey to help you see that if she can do it, so can you so I will say this, this has learned talking again, if you've ever doubted whether harmony had any value, this conversation is for you. And as always, if you enjoyed this conversation, please share it, subscribe, rate it, even leave a comment if you will, all those things help the word get out. And that's what I'm all about is trying to get the word out to as many people as possible that we don't have to suffer as much as we think we do. Enjoy this podcast. Carrie Lake, welcome to the podcast.

Kerri  04:04

Thanks so much, Linda. I'm glad that we already had some giggles before we hit record,

Lynn  04:08

we did get to have some giggles and made me want to have even more but I decided people had to hear what we were talking about.

Kerri  04:17

That's the thing like just hit record. It's gonna be fine. Just hit record a

Lynn  04:21

fine. Actually, you started one of the album gonna share one of the things that really resonated with me as we were warming up for this conversation. And it was the idea of a conversation hanging in the air. And it was funny because I've never heard those words before putting that exact way and yet instantly. I had an experience of what that meant. And one of the things I find myself in this space of and I suspect you do too is I look at the work you're putting out in the world is I find myself I'm trying to put into words things that don't feel like they can be put into words. And yet, if I can just find sometimes that resonance, it lands with people, can you tell me a little bit about how you navigate those waters doing the work you do? Because the work you do is even hard to describe?

Kerri  05:20

Thank you. Yeah, that's the $10 million. Question is, Carrie, what do you do? Well, let's go for a walk. And that's a beautiful question. Thank you. For my entire life, the things that are not spoken, have been more real than what people were talking about. Even as a toddler, as a small child, listening to parents listening to adults, I would listen to their words, like I was told to do, but behind and around and through their words was so much more going on so much more information. And for me, it looked in a way like, just by way of metaphor, like heat waves, different densities, in the air of information, moving things about how they feel things, what about different thoughts they're having, then what they're actually saying. And so, since early childhood, I don't know, I don't, I can't really say intentionally, but intentionally, simply because it's how I've been oriented. I've been paying attention to those different densities of consciousness moving, that feel like a heavy thought, or heavy emotion and, and where that's the same and where it's different from what's actually being said or demonstrated. So, for me, it's now doing the work that I do, when I will do something you've talked about as well, which is point out what what's obvious in the room, you know, to me, all of these different levels of consciousness, these different realms of information. It's like asking, Carrie, do you see the difference between the monitor in the window? The Do you see the difference between blue and red? Because when we're when we've cultivated that intuitive capacity within ourselves, it's a combination of intuition, empathy, actually, I'm going to say a different word. It's our empathic sense. And our awareness, having the mind recognize that, Oh, that's good data, although that's actual real information. So once the mind realizes all those, those felt, realms of information are valid and real and valuable, then that intuitive clarity starts to develop itself, because it's natural. It's, it's how we're actually designed to relate to within ourselves with between each other and in our world.

Lynn  08:16

Where do you think, well, humans got off the track? Because I feel like you're describing how my dog relates with me and how horses relate with me. And it's the one of the words I use a lot to try to explain the difference between what you call the densities and the words is congruence? Yes, or in another way to talk about avoiding double tonguing, which I do so much unconsciously and unintentionally. But say one thing and mean another?

Kerri  08:43

Yes, yes.

Lynn  08:44

Where do you think as humans got so far off the track? Well,

Kerri  08:49

some somewhere in a land far, far away long, long ago, I think, humans using our unique capacity as human because we have uniqueness from all other species. There was a notion of ownership and notion that I can have this if you don't have it, a notion that perhaps more is better. And maybe that was just I have a shelter and you don't, or I could have two shells, and you only have one. And with this idea of ownership came like came a whole new realm of creativity, like oh, man, how can I have more? What can I do more? You know, and if somebody else doesn't have more, now, who am I? What does that mean? And it became a foundation of identity, identifying with what I have, identifying with what I could get identifying With what I don't have, and then beyond that is a whole other layer of what have I decided about myself, if I have, what have I decided about myself if I don't have, and that that really is the weaving of an identity in, in a society, in a culture in a family, and just within myself how I relate to myself,

Lynn  10:25

which is sort of an external world rather than an internal world, in other words, but ownership, by definition is owning something that's not inside of me, is the way you described it. But things that I have, and then the story I put on it about what they that means about me because of the things I have, exactly,

Kerri  10:45

yes, yes. And it's entirely an externalization. Because before we start identifying with that notion of what I have, or there, there is something to own right? Before we start identifying with that level of things, that everything simply is I'm here, the trees are here, the water is here, food drops off the trees, and there's no work to do you know, the animals are here, the seasons, the rhythms, within myself and externally, right, what seems to be external, I mean, we can go into the, the realm of oneness and life as a wholeness, we can absolutely speak to that. But as you were, when we are playing with this idea of identity, and ownership, it's absolutely like a projection through our imagination centers, that lets us conceive that there's something outside of me to own. And then we relate to it, you know, we do Oh, yes, I could own that. And boom, we've created, you know, a whole new relationship in the world, I put myself over that, you know, that, that tree that that plant, and, you know, you look at, well, at least my awareness and understanding of native cultures, is knowing that the plants are all that the planet is offering, saying what you need. And here's how you can help, and here's how I can help. And in that conversation, when we remember our capacity to listen intuitively on those levels on those felt levels, then we go, the reverence is unavoidable, you can't you can't escape reverence. When you really feel the truth of life offering itself constantly offering relationship constantly, then you there's no reason to step out of reverence. But, you know, we have this notion, we, as humans have this capacity to create the notion of ownership of more of less than of better than, right. And all of that is simplified into the word judgment. In, in my view, anyway, not, and I'm not going to start judging judgment. Like, I'm not gonna say judgment is bad, because that's a whole trap, all in and of itself. But to simply acknowledge, like, either or good, bad, right? Wrong, should we'll just call it judgment, and just recognize it for what it is, it's okay. It's gonna happen. It's okay. Yeah, you can see it, we have the courage to call it out, see it for what it is, now we can really do something now we can really heal something we can grow, we can evolve and enter an entirely different relationship with familiar things.

Lynn  14:06

I, I was introduced to a concept called Rock logic versus water logic years ago. And it was as I was starting to really struggle with realizing just what a judgy person I was and how everything came into a filter of good bad, right, wrong. More or less, you know, all of that kind of thing. And it was in context of a time when we had just started having next door neighbors who were renting their house through, like Airbnb. It wasn't Airbnb at that time, but it was just, you know, kind of a revolving door of annoying people frankly, and, and my husband and I were very judgy about it. And this is wrong, and this is bad. And we don't like having strangers try to walk in my house or have dogs poop in my yard or all the things that were happening as a result of this. You And our judgments would lead us to want to do things that felt righteous. Hmm. I love it. Yeah, like, turn the light on, you know, while they're out there on the porch like smoking at our house, well, we're just gonna turn a spotlight on, like our house had a spotlight that would glare right on them or leave it in the bedrooms or whatever. It felt righteous, you know, but but the thing and that's rock logic, you know, right or wrong. There's a it's when you think about it very blocky, right? Water logic would say, you know, but let's ask the question, What will this lead to? Water flows. And it just changed my view about not not that I pull it off, like you said, judgment happens. But if I could just put that pause in between a moment and my action and go, alright, what has to happen next, that this thing has just happened like, this is it this is like you said, the trees are here, the food is here, the people are here, whatever this has just happened, or this is now what is such a more useful way of navigating, then you're wrong. And I'm going to make I'm going to somehow make it even. Yeah,

Kerri  16:17

right. Like nothing like go to a passive aggression.

Lynn  16:22

Yeah. Whatever I can do to like, even those scales, and then all I'm doing for the rest of my life is evening the scales. Yeah. And really, what is might as well be a death spiral, because it certainly isn't joyful or life affirming.

Kerri  16:37

Exactly, it does give a boost of energy, right. And if you get righteous and you put your foot down, you put your fist in the game, you you know, you put something in there, it can absolutely give a burst of energy, whether it's adrenaline or you know, that self righteousness. And, you know, the truth is, is a lot of people only really know how to feed off of that kind of energy. May, there's so many people who have not ever had an actual genuine experience of compassion in their cells. There's a lot of people who really don't know what that feels like, or they might see it and go, Well, that's fake now. Yeah, nobody's really like that. And I'm saying that because as a child, I had to explore whether people when people were faking, stick, keep me confused. Because I could feel it. For me, it was kind of the opposite. I could feel the love in everybody's heart. But then they would say mean things. And it was so confusing. And I'm like, Are they faking? being mean? Like, how can people actually be this harsh? How can they be that and I'm flexible? How can they be that blind, to not see what the dog had, the dog is saying, or to not see that we're destroying environments to not see how hard they're being on themselves. And I, it took a really long time, it took decades to just sort of finally exhale and realize that people are not faking, that people have their own levels of clarity or density and fear and confusion and misunderstanding and, you know, just battle wounds and, and when I took that step of just giving humanity the benefit of the doubt, like, okay, it's that hard sometimes, okay, if I really give people that compassion that I was taking for granted, within myself, and then just look differently and say, Okay, actually, this is actually that hard for them. And changed. It changed everything, it changed my ability to meet people where they're at. It helped me offer more space when I was listening, and I mean, don't get me wrong, I had quite a journey of judgment myself, you know, in all sorts of different directions and still play with it. Just you know, in in the form of like, being mystified when people are happy with my work. Sometimes I have this whole script of judgment in the back of my head that says, No, you can't let them be you didn't do enough. They're just you have to give more and you haven't done enough carry. Like, this is still a constant in my psyche. But now I'm friends with it right? I don't Don't avoid it. But one thing I wanted to speak to about that beautiful moment you pointed to, of awareness that pause where you asked what what will this lead to, in your water thinking? There's a way I like to speak to that as well, which is what would I like to contribute to this situation. And to me, that speaks a little bit to the ego and the psyche that wants to have an effect. Right? It wants to be powerful, and it is powerful. But it I'm not going to let it run off, you know, using its power in a passive aggressive way, I can actually invite the mind to serve my heart. And to get curious, what would I like to contribute to this situation, which asks me, of course, first, to look at where my judgments are. And, you know, I want to go in guns a blazing. But like, is that really what I'd like to contribute to this situation, I have the freedom to contribute something, what's actually genuine within my heart that I would like to contribute? Because anytime, anytime I contribute from the purity of my heart, that's a creative act. That's something that can change the trajectory, it can change the conversation, and it can also open and change other hearts.

Lynn  21:41

I have a lot of questions. I'm trying to decide where to go. But I'm going to pick up on that one, I want to put a bookmark. I want to put a bookmark in the thing you've got going in the back of your head about have I done enough for my clients. But for now, I want to say, when you're asking your heart, what would I like to contribute? How did you hear the message? That is, you made a clear distinction between going in guns blazing and going in, in a way that's helpful and useful? How do you how do you make a distinction between those two things? Like how did you find that the thing to it is that you can best contribute to the situation? That doesn't make it worse?

Kerri  22:25

That's a fantastic question. And truly, the answer is a feeling. It's not a decision. It's not a map. It's it happens entirely below my eyebrows. Once I have the awareness, like Oh, I was about to go explode this situation, okay, maybe I'd like to do something else. Once that awareness is there. I call it organizing myself where I bring my awareness to my heart center to the cells and I it's very, very simple. There's nothing complicated. It's just like, before we hit record, we were playing with heart breathing. And when you play with heart breathing, in the Heart Math way, you start to notice your physicality, the experience of your physicality changes. And we can call it grounding. We can call it relaxing, we can call it opening, but that change in my actual physical tissues. When I bring my awareness to My Heart Center, I watch for that change in my physical body. And sometimes, if things are super intense, I will just give myself 10 Luxurious seconds and say, Okay, after 10 seconds of genuinely organizing myself, if I still want to go in guns blazing, I'm Welcome to I always have permission to go explore things, or do it differently. Because, you know, my toddler brain does, it doesn't like being controlled, right? So I give it options. But I'm clear on how we walk forward, which is first organize myself, generate that spaciousness in my body called Heart breathing called grounding called relaxation called openness. And when when I generate that presence in my body, that's my priority. So okay, what can I say that rides this wave? That does not knock me out of presents? What words come when this feeling is my priority? And as I asked that question, the thinker will start to work in service to my question, what words would be generated from this state of Being from this grounded place, what words come if I'm not derailed from this way of being organized from this feeling this heart center open? It is how our imaginary intuitive system is designed. When you put forth a question like that it's like prayer. And when you put forth a question like that, your thinker is going to go, oh, you need words that fit that feeling, I got you some words, I got you an approach, I've got you an option, right? And so rather than it's like, it's like just shifting the foundation, shifting the place from which I speak, rather than going into my head, to analyze my options, look at what might be powerful, what might scratch my itch, you know, to make sure they know they're wrong, what you know, what might assert kind of some kind of control. That's one direction and it has very specific feeling to it, when you start noticing what power feels like, right? And so what I've cultivated is this relationship within myself, that when I feel that that magnetic pole of power, power over is actually a call it a trigger, you know, a little flag that goes up that says, oh, let's reorganize, and 10 luxury seconds is all it takes bringing awareness to the heart center, watching the body change, and then getting curious, okay? What would I like to contribute that does not derail this state of being?

Lynn  26:48

So I have again, so much. But But what I what I'm identifying with and I'm in this place with some of the clients I'm bringing into the work that I'm doing now is somewhere along the line, I think you made friends with a feeling. And it took me I had an I had a teacher. This was close to 30 years ago that asked me where I was feeling something in my body, and I kind of just stared at her with a blank stare. I don't feel Do you not understand I'm a corporate person we don't feel? And she said no, really, you actually do have to learn to feel. And over the years, and especially with the horse accident, I have had to come into terms with something that I've now sort of made. There's sort of the experience of it in the science of it. And I'll start with the science of it, which is if we're to change anything from being locked down, and a lot of us are locked down, you have to have agitation. Yeah, that's the only thing that will actually give you a chance to rewire it. If it's locked down. It can't change. But if it's agitated, which is a physical feeling, yes, of now, I would say a physical feeling of the potential for newness.

Kerri  28:08

Yes, I love it,

Lynn  28:11

then I can then I can now rewire the old pattern. But if I'm stuck in my old ways, that physical feeling, when it comes up can actually become empowered with more of the same rules I've always operated on. So it's either rules or tools is my really short language. Right? In my book, I actually talk a lot about the difference between rules and tools and I and have a whole chart on the idea of power over versus power under our power with, like the idea of dancing the tightrope is to be power with, we fall off on power over or power under. But the physical feeling of all three of them is hard to distinguish until you're willing to go into the space and be agitated without your story that you've always had. So I'm guessing that you also I'm still experimenting with this with myself. I know I'm working with my clients, especially the ones that give me the blank stare that say What do you mean, you want me to feel like I did? What would you say? are the best ways for all of us, the people were helping us ourselves? How do we become more and more friends with that feeling? So we can start seeking like you're describing I call curiosity and listening major tools like you just described? How do we begin to make friends with though with those things without falling into our old stories?

Kerri  29:35

Oh, it's such a great question. There's, it's, I mean, what I'm gonna say is like super oversimplify because it really happens in the moment and everybody's unique and yet everybody's somehow you know, the same because we're wired we have this wiring for awareness for feel and And we all have the experience of emotion. And we're in this realm of judgment that is fabricated every day. But the simplest way that I have found for myself and to facilitate others is notice where feel is already happening. Don't go looking to feel what somebody else is telling you to feel like that idea that really a lot of coaches using it can be really, really helpful. The idea of where's your body? Where are you feeling that in your body? That's a brilliant question for people who have that capacity already. And who have vocabulary. A lot of the time people just don't have vocabulary for feel. And so their mind says, I don't know that. They're having it, it's happening. But they have not cultivated the relationship between the mind and the felt data. So the first thing is notice where feel is already happening. So something as simple as, for example, this is a fun game I play almost every time is, if you don't look down at your hands, how do you know if they're touching something? Right, so even while I'm listening here, see what it's like for you to take your awareness into one of your hands, and see how your hand communicates, oh, I'm touching something. Okay, and you just take your awareness right to the sensation for 10 Luxurious seconds. And notice, you don't have to tune anything else out. But you don't have to tune anything else out. Yet, you can prioritize your body's communication to say, oh, pressure, texture, and temperature, movement. And notice how flexible your awareness can be to prioritize that physical sensation. Without tuning anything else out, you can still understand me, you still still get what I'm talking about. And yet, if you now look at your hand, and what your hand feels like, does that feel the same or different as your other hand? And notice, what what do you notice? Well,

Lynn  32:22

interestingly, I was just noticing exactly where my hands are on my lap relative to the computer. And I could feel the difference between five fingers are touching on one hand and two fingers on the other. And, and where I also went was how life saving that background knowledge already is. Because what if, as I was sitting here, also, I would notice, and we all have had this happen where we noticed something that could bite us is crawling on us.

Kerri  32:49

Yes. Yes. Well, and so I love that you said that, that brings up such a great point. A lot of people because of the way society is because you know, because humans serve a lot of fear. A lot of people have a much easier time relating to ascend a sensation, if it's avoidant or survival, or get me away from that. Okay, so if that's where we have to start, let's start there. But there's this whole universe of options for recognizing sensations that are just harmonious. We call it grounded, we call it present. We call it harmonious, we call it relaxed. Right? There real play time. The the real dance is how do we invite the prefrontal cortex? How do we invite the identity? How do we invite the thinker, the analyst, I call it the mayor of thinking down. To recognize that the body's natural way of communicating is through sensations, whether it's subtle, or extreme. It this is just the way the body communicates. So if I don't look down at my hands, how do I know if they're touching something? We can start turning that into a conversation of the hands or saying, Oh, well, five of us are touching this and two of us are touching that. And it's warmer on the bottom side than it is on the top side. Oh, and it's smooth. We can start cultivating a conversation between the mayor and the physicality which only is ever trying to serve.

Lynn  34:48

Okay, oh, oh, I just got something big because the distinction I serve versus surviving, so they kind of remind each other But I believe a lot of the feelings of agitation that I was trying to avoid, and a lot of my clients are the fear of death, which is not really death. So in my corporate client world, I call it the homeless sequence. But it goes something like, if the boss says something to me, like, can we talk or come to my office, this homeless sequence kicks in, and it's like, oh, man, I've screwed up. And I've screwed up so bad that I'm probably going to get reprimanded and maybe even lose my job. And if I lose my job, I'm going to end up on the street, then I won't have enough money to pay for my house, I may not even be able to pay for a condo, I'll probably just be homeless. And that all happens in a second. And there's a lot of variations of that because it can be, I'm going to lose my friend, or I'm a skier, if I bobble, I'm going to fall on the ski course. But it all falls under the bucket of survival, I'm gonna die, this feeling means I'm gonna die. But what you're describing is opening up a whole nother world of feeling is the gateway to surfing and to joy. Yes, of surf versus survive.

Kerri  36:00

Absolutely. I love I love how you just described all of that. It because it is the feeling before all before the mayor grabs the feeling and gives it all of these words and analysis and conclusions. There was the feeling of oh, yeah. And so when I organize myself, when I give my mind that the job of watching how the what the body is saying, and I open that friendship, it's a whole new friendship, where we're not afraid of what the body communicates, but we're available for it. And that's when all the other tools get far more efficient tools of mindfulness, and tools of calming tools. Changing my thought pattern tools of mindset become vastly more effective, when I'm organized first, to recognize that the body is just saying, Whoa, pay attention.

Lynn  37:05

We have a thermometer and it's, it's giving us a reading. Yes, and like you use the warmer colder, but it's like there's so many different readings we're getting. So it's like when I'm flying an airplane, look at the dashboard, you've got, you know, the instrument panel has all the things I need to know to fly that airplane.

Kerri  37:22

Well, this is what I love. That kind of technology is the externalization of what is innate, bingo, when I'm tuned in to my awareness, and not to say that, you know, my intuition is going to tell me what altitude I am and where my fuel is, in a way it actually will, with your flying a plane and you're tuned into your intuition and you're you're really feeling your body at some point, you're just going to get this thought like, we should go down now. You know, it's it's a profound simplification from what we're accustomed to. But things like the instruments, and even, you know, even zoom in the technology we use is an externalization of our innate capacity to connect and communicate with one another. If we really start relaxing into our innate capacities for empathic awareness, intuitive awareness, telepathic awareness, expanded states where we are all in contact with one another. Then we can tune into the information that's going to be helpful in the moment, by bringing awareness to our body, floating a curiosity, and then watching what presents in response to the curiosity externalization is identify a problem, identify parameters, look at resources, strategize, and apply, reassess, apply, reassess, apply, because at some point, I will know I have achieved. So that is like an externalization process using our mental capacity, which is vast and awesome. Don't get me wrong, I'm not it. I hope to weave back in just dissolve the vilification of the mind. There's no reason to vilify the mind. I'm hearing that Yeah, yeah. And in fact, the moment you give it a job that serves the heart, it quiets itself right down, but it does ask that we're willing to feel so we create these instruments to externalize our amazingness are amazing innovation and creativity. And then, hopefully, something in there reminds us to be organized for Our heart and let all of that externalization work in service to our collective heart, when we get into trouble is when we start identifying with the external tools, the external technology. And we put our heart in service to what is external, rather than recognizing the external tools we have, and putting them in service to the heart,

Lynn  40:28

the word I want to pull from there, I want to connect back to your ownership and you use the word achieve. And I feel like a lot of times we let ourselves get in, in grossed in the end state or the end goal, like the next promotion, or if you're a horse person, the ribbon or just maybe getting a halter on, but we get stuck on that achievement, without recognizing that that picture is just the reason for the journey. And, you know, there's this moment where we can like, yeah, that's what I'm trying to get. But along the way, there's a million steps that I can be in service to what what's happening. My question

Kerri  41:11

then is, say the ribbon happens. How does it feel? What is the feeling that that you are? Hoping or you're sure of or you're wanting? If I have the ribbon, what will that what feeling will that invoke? And because what I've seen is, the only reason anybody does anything is because of how it feels. I

Lynn  41:45

agree with you, I have seen the same thing. I'm looking for the feeling of

Kerri  41:48

Yes, but then we externalize it, we give it to the mayor, the mayor gets on the train and Tinky town would only goes in circles until the train gets derailed. And we get just, you know, shoved back into the fields, that maybe for a long time, we've held judgment, that feeling is bad. There, there are three untruths that most of us are born into unconsciously. And that is that pain is bad. Comfort is good. And the point of life is to be in control.

Lynn  42:28

That's a nice way of distilling it. Yeah, that was my programming. And I'm still unwinding it, of

Kerri  42:35

course, because it's very compelling. And we have this whole society where everybody finger paints in the same three, you know, suggestions, I will call them suggestions, right? Because they're out there, there they are there to be examined, but they are general misinterpretations of what life is offering, on a moment to moment basis life, invariably, at all times is offering what would you like? What would you like to create? What would you like to offer? How much beauty would you like to experience? How supported Are you willing to be? How long are you willing to be? And because we've been indoctrinated and programmed and cultivated in a society that suggests we must earn our existence. It can take a little bit of navigation and some support and guidance to be able to relate to the fact that I might actually be loved. Simply because I exist this has been Truly the the deepest exploration for me personally. It has been the greatest fear for me personally, is being loved. And what that means and is it a trap? And what if it happens then what what else is there if I'm just Oh willy nilly and loved and my journey in my family I was born into all the relationships that have come through my world have all been asking me real really me trying to get my own attention to relax out of proving that I deserve love. And to actually leave a little bit of space for what it might feel like to actually be loved.

Lynn  44:58

The idea of X accepting Love feels. So you I think you call it willy nilly feel squishy, without form vulnerable as hell. Yeah. And, and also, maybe that's the only way there may not be an assault also, after the feeling of vulnerability of it,

Kerri  45:22

I'm Yes, I'm with you entirely. When I am when I have a friendly relationship with feel that then I have the capacity to discern a situation so that if I'm feeling vulnerable, does that actually mean I'm in danger? feeling vulnerable does not necessarily mean I'm in actual danger. And that goes right back to your example of Oh, the boss needs to talk to me, Oh, my God, I'm gonna die. Because that, you know, we get that sinking feeling that in that moment, the boss needs to talk to me, maybe the boss has the power to fire me, the boss has the power to take my life away, the boss has the power to change the way I think about myself. All of that can be can invoke again, if we distill it, feeling of vulnerability, I'm losing control. When I have a friendship between the mind the body and the heart, where the mind realizes my first act in any situation is Heart Center, open, find my heart, then I can discern, I'm feeling very vulnerable. does that actually mean I'm in danger. And I'll give another example from my own life about that, too, that I, there was about a year and a half where I was helping build this little tech company. And, you know, just went from nothing to infrastructure and tripling, you know, production and tripling everything in a year and a half. And the time came where the things, the way things were being managed. And the way I was being treated was I just couldn't give myself to that anymore. And so I had to walk away. And I'd never done anything. I had never walked away like that before. And I was going from like, you know, it was like $90,000 a year or something to nothing to living in my car, to literally driving across the country not knowing where I was going to go. Because my perception was, I had to be I did something to take care of myself. And that was probably the worst offense in the world because I was supposed to be in service to the system. I was, I was the rebel. Nobody was going to want anything to do with me. You know, it kind of harkens back to like, really olden days where nobody's going to want the woman who stands up for herself. Yeah, you know, nobody's going to marry you carry because you're just trouble. And I've been told I was troubled my whole life, right? And it's here I am living it out. So I walked away, and truly, genuinely did not have a thought that anybody would care to help me out in any way at all. I had to do it all myself. And so I lived in hotel rooms and out of my car for about two years. Yeah, it was odd. There's a lot of stories in there. But there were, were that I'll say what that opened up for me now. I'm so grateful I have all those experiences. Because what I cultivated in that time was a whole whole lot of different versions of worst case scenario. What if I lose everything? Worst case scenario? What if I don't have a car spent four years without a car? What if I don't ever have home? What if I don't ever have income? What if I don't have enough money for food? I was there. Now what like I lived out all these worst case scenarios. It disclaimer, I am not suggesting anybody else do this. Like don't do what Kerry does, please. It's not necessary. If you think you're going to do it. Just let's have a talk.

Lynn  49:43

Because I call Carrie, she can show you how to do it without doing it.

Kerri  49:47

It's okay like it's all it's all going to be okay. But what this what this cultivated in me when I cultivated from that experience was this ability to To be friend, my mind, which is only trying to help and say, Okay, we're going to die, we better fix it, we better read it and just say, alright, buddy, let's look at our experience. And let's find the body feel like even now I massage my own hands all the time, just to be feeling. I think the same thing that's keeping our awareness with our physicality, which has never ever, ever left the present moment. So what I was able to cultivate was this friendship, where when the feeling of vulnerability comes, and the mayor wants to jump on the train and go in circles. That we sit down and we have a chat and say, Okay, we are feeling overwhelmed. The feeling is overwhelmed. The feeling is scary. The feeling is bla bla bla, bla bla with no words. No words, no words, but Ah, here it is. Okay. Let's, what is our worst case scenario right now? And it's not doomsday thinking it's actually honoring. It's looking at what is. So for example, even in homelessness, Penny lessness. Friend lessness. Idea. lessness. Did I ever go without a meal, except by choice? And the answer was actually, no, I never went without a meal. Unless I chose to. Did I ever go without shelter except by choice? And the answer is actually, no. Even in the moments when I think about one night specifically where I had to hitchhike and then walk for like hitchhike five miles out of town, and then walk for another mile to sleep on a wooden slab in an open cabin, and use my blue jeans as a blanket. That happened. But I wasn't without shelter, right? So it's cultivating this, this capacity to have a friendship with myself. Where for a moment I suspend the judgment of my situation. But this is the 10 luxury seconds to suspend the judgment of my situation and say, Okay, if I need food, can I find food, if I need shelter, can I find shelter. So having those experiences for me created a friendship that helped me recognize I'm actually resourced when I need to be now I would prefer a different kind of resourcing. But I'm actually have always been resourced when I've needed to be. So now, several years later, I was still having panic attacks at groceries, you know, I'd go to the grocery store, and free freeze and not be able to feel my limbs because I'm in a panic attack standing in the produce section. And, you know, the way that the mayor characterize the panic attack is you're in a grocery store, you're going to buy food, that just means you're going to stay alive. And that's a problem. Nobody needs you alive, Carrie, that was the real conversation in my head. So I would panic, because I really wanted a grapefruit right. And so I would just stand there surveying the, the produce section, and just have a chat with my friend who was having a hard day and say, Okay, we're just going to stand still. And we're going to notice what breathing feels like. And if somebody thinks, you know, there's who's this weird woman standing in the produce section, we'll just chalk it up to I'm really interested in surveying the produce it up for that, right. And so, you know, these are the intense some of the intense experiences I've had. But it was always because I know I'm here, because I know life has beauty. Because I know if all of this is happening, it's taking us somewhere and I'm really curious where it's taking us because I know it's not doomsday the trees, let me know let life keeps happening. Life is going to always perpetuate itself. That's what life does. This idea of survival is a human projection onto nature, that the human creation life is is perpetuating itself constantly. It's not surviving on an individual one on one yes, the antelope running from the cheetah is surviving an attack. But the point of life in nature is not survival. It is perpetuation it is celebration and it is self nourishment. So if that's true, and I'm still alive, I must be part of that. So now I'm curious. And that's what led to the tools I teach. And, you know, the courses. That's why the course is called courage to feel.

Lynn  55:19

Because it takes a lot of courage to feel it because of what you were describing about the vulnerability of it. And when you were talking about vulnerability, feeling dangerous, I just called up something that happened to me within the last month where we went to St. Lucia, for a wedding. And we were on a resort that was guarded gates, it was almost like we were the ones in prison. But I got a cab to go over and ride horses on the beach. And as I was leaving, driving on the wrong side of the road, a lot of potholes a lot of honking hot, you know, kind of weird, like, there was a part of my body that kept saying you're very vulnerable right? Now you should turn around and go home. This is dangerous. And then I figured out Wait a minute, is it dangerous or just different? is beautiful? And most of it was just different? And yes, there was potential for danger. But again, did I have the resources to handle the danger, like, on the walk on the write up, it was a single lane road up, I was like, I cannot imagine there's gonna be horses at the end of this road. So I hope this guy is actually taking me to a stable a place with horses and not a murder spot, you know, there was a part of my brain that could do that. And it was a very rocky road. So I was like, and at least if there's horses up here, I know, they'd never walk them back down this trail, because it's just a hilly trail of rocks. And I get there and indeed their horses and everything is fine. And he says, okay, he get I get on. I mean, he puts me on the horse immediately. He's said, even though it's a Western saddle, write English. Okay? I can do that. And then he goes, follow me. And he's like, I'm going to get my horse and we immediately head down this road that I thought a horse could never walk on. And I was fine. I was fine. And then he said, Do you stay here, I'm gonna go get my horse. And he's 100 yards away. And the horse is like, I don't want to stay with her. I'll let it go. And then. So then I was like, Okay, can I keep the horse here? We manage without it too much of a kerfluffle. And then it's like, okay, surely never walk us over there. Because there's a construction happening. Oh, yeah. And there's dump trucks coming in. Now, we're going to have to move over to the side while this giant dump truck comes out? Surely they never let horses do that happened all day long. But every time I came to an intersection, the question was, Do I have the resources? I like your language. I call it tools. But do I have the tools for this? And we had 100 Things happen that day, that some people and actually I could have made them dangerous? If I had chosen not to reach for my tools? Yes.

Kerri  57:55

It's so beautiful. That right there, you're describing connection with yourself. And when I'm connected with myself, my horse is going to feel that immediately. Yeah. Yes. And that's great. Safety, is the feeling the experience of safety is when I can feel me feeling you feeling me. And that's when we have this experience that we call safety. Before it's the word it's a feeling. B for a second that

Lynn  58:25

it's I say that sequence again, because I can't repeat it but I want to be sure we put a book say that word or say i

Kerri  58:31

i can feel me feeling you feeling me? Then we can generate that experience that we call safety.

Lynn  58:44

That is the unspoken Ara that I have felt working, especially lately with Bruce with the feral horses, the baby feral horses, where we can. But he calls it let the horse tell you what to do, when to do how to do. Yes. But you can only do that if you're willing to feel like lots of communication about what are you feeling on the lead rope? Yes. What is he feeling on the lead rope? Yes. Right. And so that's a neat way to put that. Yes,

Kerri  59:15

it is the words that I have found that are ubiquitous, with all of the relationship based horsemanship in interpersonal relationships, empathy, compassion, when humans get this idea that they want safety, they're looking for a feeling everything we do is because of something we'd like to feel. And often if we're working straight from the head, and we're trying to analyze it and do it from the intellect, we'll get there. We will get there. But it's the scenic route because the intellect is going to want to understand everything have it makes sense. Have it be proven, justified and by before it opens the way to say, alright, well, it's okay to feel that now. And to be super clear and honest, there's nothing wrong with that. If that's the way then that's the way because having having proof, this is why science is so amazing, because it helps the mind. realize, Oh, that's a thing, then I will let down the guard a little bit. So the direct route is to simply acknowledge there's a way to understand everything, but right now, what am I experiencing? And coming straight from the experience, being able to have a relationship with what the body's communicating? And like, I think you said, you know, the body like the horses, that's what I hear you saying about Bruce is he's, he's saying the horses will tell you what you need to know when you need to know it. The horses are not in Tinky town, the horses are feeling themselves, feeling you, you're feeling them. Mm hmm. And when the horse can feel that you feel them, and that's demonstrated in relaxation, in breath in presence in movement in the absence of movement, then that horse can say, alright, I'm good, I'm good with you. And we call it safety.

Lynn  1:01:26

I have experienced that numerous times. It's like the minute you put your mind, epic, have your mind set in the place that I'm going to listen. And I'm going to feel you go through that whole sequence, they immediately know.

Kerri  1:01:41

Exactly. And you might play with this too. Like next time you go, we played a little bit with bringing your awareness into your hands. If you prioritize the simplicity of can I feel the backside of my body? Feel the clothing on my skin? Can I feel which muscles in my face are tight or not? Prioritize first awareness of my own physicality, then go step in with the horses and see what they share with you. Because their awareness is first with their own body. Then, if if horses are out in scanning, that's not where they want to be that is a high alert, we might need to run or fight. But if they're not in that kind of situation, they're just simply right here going oh, yeah, there's a fly. Fly. Stop it. Get away. Yeah. Okay, yeah. It that's what what humans call fluidity with oneself, simply because their priority is their own felt experience. Yeah, they're thinking, but they they're thinking serves their senses. So as humans, we are also and you can ask Dr. Steve Peters, we have such similar neuro neuroscience, right. We are wired to function in the same way that we are conditioned to process first through our analytical thinker. And we still have the capacity, through these conversations through the tools through different games, different ways to play with our awareness through addressing judgment, and having a different relationship with judgment, having a different relationship with emotion and feeling than what we were taught to have the mind work in service to our felt experience the way horses and nature do uninterrupted.

Lynn  1:03:56

The, I make a distinction between the proving and improving mindset. And what makes it useful with people who are in an environment where there's a lot of people around, is if you put yourself in a position to need to prove to them you belong. You've given them all the power. Yes. And improving means that you get to continually use pressure to learn, as opposed to have it crush you. And so much of that is tied into the idea of what you do with that feeling of agitation. So, you know, back to this, you know, we're kind of looping back again to that idea of ownership and the other piece of proving and what creates a powerful a power over hierarchical structure is the conditioning of colonization that's happened over the planet. You know, the idea that we can conquer other lands if you will, and bring our ways and take you away from your way and bring our way. But, and I put in quotes around our way, but it's always something that says I'm going to, I'm going to put the power in my hands to be over you. As opposed to trusting you to handle your own way of being, if you will,

Kerri  1:05:17

yes, or, or to even allow your way of being in my world, I eat that, and there's the ownership. But you know, this is my world. And I think one of the major hiccups where we are in society on the planet now is this distinction of my world and your world, my country in your country. Let countries exist, and that's fine, but let the country be itself and that it's that grasping on to say it's mine, now I have to defend it. And push out all that isn't? Or at least make it so super clear. What isn't mine. Mm hmm. That it becomes destructive for all of us. That suggestion of of mine, that proving of mine is caustic. And it's eating mice, you know, me away and it'll eat others away. It eats away relationships, in really only says there's only one relationship and it's mine.

Lynn  1:06:23

Yeah. It's only mine. Yeah. And

Kerri  1:06:28

so having the guidance, the tours, I just love that we can have these conversations. So many people are having these conversations, and so many different ways now, to help us get our own attention and realize, Wow, there, there actually might be another option. And another option would feel different. Right,

Lynn  1:06:48

and maybe save the planet, but doesn't mean we have to stop necessarily living the modern world, because we're not going we're not going to go back to hunter gatherers, we're not going to that's not that is not happening. And actually, even on the flip side, one of my clients happens to be in the title insurance industry. And when I was having a conversation about just the core of that industry, he said, you know, if we hadn't had titled to land we would not have the modern infrastructure we have now you can argue that that's a bad thing. But he said nobody would invest water pipes, or electrical or so forth. If we couldn't at least say Hey, this is my space, I'm going to add these amenities so that we can all live here more comfortably. So there's a little bit of a positive side, I do really like my electricity in the, in the modern world. You know, we wouldn't be talking without electricity and internet and all those things, right? So we didn't ever met because we wouldn't have traveled because we wouldn't have gotten there, all those things. But so there's, it's not that it's like, on its face bad. It's just this, we're out of balance with it. And so there's a way to restore balance and harmony, I think, in our modern world, and in our modern offices, and arenas and athletic competition places where, you know, are smaller businesses. I think that's really what we're saying. So people are listening and thinking, we're trying to say, you know, like, let's get rid of all the things that we are talking about, no, we're talking about putting it back into its place,

Kerri  1:08:23

or letting it serve our intrinsic motivation. That's the proving right, we're not letting it all serve me trying to prove that I'm a good this or that, or I deserve more than you. It's look at all the amazing resources we have. Now, why do I do what I do? That's coming back to the intrinsic motivation of how would I love to feel in the world? And how can I resources be in service to the way I'd love to feel? And yes, it's a dance, because there are a lot of people who are going to suggest, you know, you owe me, I pay you, you owe me. And it even in that sort of a circumstance, okay, that's true. I did enter an agreement where I would show up for this day and I would do this work. That's my agreement. And but, but when I start looking at my own intrinsic motivation for being there, and I go, Okay, if I am going to say yes to this agreement, am I saying yes to being abused? Am I saying yes to being taken for granted? Am I saying yes to being subjugated? And granted, there are a lot of people in the world who don't have the freedom to just step away from those situations at this point. But those of us who are in this conversation When we honor our own consciousness and get more clear on what moves my heart, and can I move from my heart? Can I bring my heart into a difficult situation? Can I realize, well, maybe this job isn't truly nourishing me. But for now it's giving me income, which lets me live oars comfortably, so that I have the relaxation and the contemplation time to use tools, bring my heart forward, and let that affect ripple out to the people on the corner to the guy, my hotdog stand my kids to my parents, right? That is changing the world. It's to go to this position of, well, you know, carry if we're all just in our hearts, who's going to pay the bills, you know, that's when I, I'm sure you hear that. You can't just be happy carry all the time carry, you know, if we, if we just try to reduce it to that either or survival approach, then yeah, it might get scary that we're going to lose all of our infrastructure and society's going to crumble. The truth is, there's no way there's no way because there's so many people who care for each other. And who are going to say, You know what, we're going to need a bridge over that freeway for the animals, we're, we're going to need a pathway so people can hike on this trail, we're going to need clean water, we're going to need to find a way. Because the love of humanity for humanity is an unkillable, you can't take that away. Love is the space within which all of this other stuff is happening. Like Love is so carefully, that we're allowed to destroy things, the opportunity to get our awareness and then recreate it. So what would you like to bring to the conversation?

Lynn  1:12:13

I have to go back to also when you were talking about and I don't know what you were talking about the world, but you talked about something about the world. But as I was watching you, because for those of you listening, we're saying we can see each other here on Zoom, you were actually pointing to your own heart. It was like, it was like it was a holistic picture that I had. And it all I do believe your message says we're starting with our own hearts inside. And then we can dance in harmony with each other. Yes, and build buildings and have water and have electricity and have jobs, and frankly, have respect for each other or find ways to bring other people into respect. Because when I say someone treating somebody the way you're describing, you are treated that made you leave. I have clients that are being treated that way, a lot. I look at them and think what happened to you that made you treat other people this way? Yes. And to the extent I wrote an entire book called The elegant pivot, how to navigate, I can't remember the name of it navigate an elegant something about the move to navigate corporate politics, I can't remember the subtitle of my own book. The idea is that oftentimes, we are treated poorly. But this is a way to get other people to treat themselves better. Yes, in order to treat you better, by not fueling the thing that is making them treat you so poorly, which I used to be an expert at, like I could take offense at a moment's notice. You just had to look at me wrong. And I could take offense and then we're in a big fight. Because how dare you you know, but there are ways for us to sort of love each other through it. And I think that may be I don't know, that just feels like part of your core message of your of your work is to love each other through it. How would you respond to that?

Kerri  1:14:10

I am absolutely with you on that. And because to me, love is that space, offering myself the space, absent of judgment for even a moment to recognize what's actually going on. What I actually feel, which gives me the space to get clear what I'd actually like to contribute. And what that can look like is taking a pause, doing 30 seconds of heart breathing before you go respond to that person. The only way to invite somebody else into their heart is to show up with mine open. I mean, how well is it going to work for me to walk up and go Lin get in your heart

Lynn  1:15:00

Yo, she's pointing at the screen. And that finger, you know if, if you've ever had a trigger right for fingers pointing, and obviously people just lose it when the finger comes, right? Because

Kerri  1:15:11

there's energy behind it before the there is for

Lynn  1:15:15

the worse. Yes. And we all, we also have the triggers from our childhood. We've had the past and it's like, how dare you point it Mater. But even with animals, like, it's amazing how quickly my dog began to understand when I pointed to her to go, and I'm not talking about pointing out or be mad at her, because that's not how I had do that. But I do point to her to go a place or whatever. And she just can't wait to like find where my finger is telling her to go. Like she's following the energy. Yes.

Kerri  1:15:45

Well, so all communication happens before words. Yeah, it comes as a thought and idea, a movement, whether regardless of species, all communication begins in the place of no words. And when we as humans, allow ourselves to have a relationship with that place of no words, then we start recognizing our own communication first in the realm of feel. So if my mind is available for felt information, that's when I am breached, I mean, the breeding ground of congruence. Because I'm aware of what I'm actually wanting to communicate, before it becomes a body movement or a vocal movement.

Lynn  1:16:35

Yeah, you made the distinction of body movement, because you used a while back a word that we don't accept, I think enough, which is the telepathic communication. Yeah. It's the thought before the movement. It's a thought before the word. Yes. And I do believe I don't, I don't believe I have experienced telepathic communication with animals and with other humans.

Kerri  1:17:00

Yes, it's constant. It's happening. It's the only way I got through college, frankly, is because I was just reading the reading the airmail, you know, to be able to go up, right? And I just have my own natural capacity to recognize that data and information, right, just like Wi Fi, how Wi Fi work? How does satellite Wi Fi work, how to sell work? Who knows when somebody knows, but

Lynn  1:17:31

but we have to have the machine to read it. So we

Kerri  1:17:35

are born with the biological technology to relate to multiple dimensions of data and information. We just call it telepathic biologic feel thought word, body movement, we have all these labels for it. Before the labels before the ideas, there's the place of no words where actual communication is like open source, it's all there. It's it comes down to me as a unique individual. How open willing available, I am. To recognize my own physical instrument, right, my body and the way the body vibrates, the cells vibrate with different frequencies of very subtle energy and very gross energy. And how available Am I to recognize what's going on? How relevant is it to the life I'm living? Right? It's and I just want to be clear, I'm not saying everybody is at a perfected state, if they're aware of everything, because people are afraid of that, too. And it's, it's truly not the case, like life is not trying to overwhelm you. Overwhelmed really only happens when we are in resistance. But when we open up and are willing to see things clearly, when we're opening, opening and willing to have a have a relationship with the feelings that are there, with the emotions that are there with data and information that are there. That's when we actually can have an effect on the world. And when we bring our heart into that space, our heart becomes the harmonizing factor that says, wow, there's a lot here. Well, let's have it worked out well for everybody. And literally, the universe responds to that. You are

Lynn  1:19:37

describing something that is so freeing, and yet frightening, like you said at the same time.

Kerri  1:19:42

Yes, yes, because it's very vulnerable. It is the absence of control. And it is the full acknowledgement of just exactly how powerful I am with and side by side with the rest of life.

Lynn  1:19:56

Because that's what you're trying because as you're describing it, we are are working in harmony with it is not about putting us on a pedestal and saying, you're all that which I do believe we are well conditioned into. I mean, if you look at the entire structure of society of who wins of what we consider winning? Yes, I struggle today with a lot of the ways people are trying to right the ship by using the same tyrannical mindset that put us there in the first place.

Kerri  1:20:26

Yeah, exactly. It's, it's retreading, the same tire? Exactly.

Lynn  1:20:30

And what we're looking for is something more along these lines, which is, like you said, frankly, how we are biologically wired to live life in this world full of life. Yeah,

Kerri  1:20:43

absolutely, yes. So this is, I love that you talk about tools is so through me the instrument that I am, and I tried running away from this forever, because it was so scary, and I finally couldn't run away anymore. But there's, the way that I've put these things together to share with others is, there's tools for an awakening world, which is these three very, very simple tools of awareness, that invite your mind to be in service to the heart and the body. It doesn't mean the mind gets quiet, it doesn't mean the mind is the bad guy, it means like the mind is the shortstop who can't play the whole baseball game by itself, and isn't the manager, the hearts, the manager, right, and the body is all the other players given the communication and but we need the shortstop to be the best shortstop in the league, right? That's the mind. So the tools help give the mind a way to relate to the heart and the body and thought and emotion. So that when we get stuck, we have a way to create space. So things can move, like the agitation you're talking about, really create a little bit of space and things that are stuck, start moving. And that's when we start feeling vulnerable. But that friendship between the mind and body and the heart can come in and say, Alright, we're feeling vulnerable, but we're actually not in danger. So what would we like to contribute? And when that just sort of becomes a little formula of walking through life, and things become quite simple, regardless of the external context. But then if people want more, more in depth, clarity and awareness, they want to dive into it more courage to feel is this the next course that I created, that talks about the relationships between empathy and intuition, between emotion and feeling, because those are different things, the words get used interchangeably, but they are different. And when you start getting clear on the relationship between emotion and feeling, literally, your the air you you walk through gets more clear. And you can address the fear in a different way. The fear of feeling, right, is the relationship between judgment and discernment. And how awareness can be used to address pain on physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual realms. It there's a simplicity to all of this, when you play with the these perspectives that help the mind go, Oh, you mean, I'm not responsible for micromanaging the entire universe?

Lynn  1:23:42

Lines, the shortstop analogy is brilliant, because we actually do need a shortstop. That's a big hole between second and third base.

Kerri  1:23:50

I am just saying, right? That shortstop has to be aware, and watching what everything else is doing to be in the right place at the right time. That's the job of the mind. But when it comes to, like, why do I do what I do? That's the heart. And I think like you've been talking about to our whole society, and that conditioning has bullied humanity into this the suggestion that I have to prove that I deserve to exist I have to prove I have to play in the power struggle. We don't have to. And yes, stepping out of the power struggle brings up just about every fear, but you don't have to do it all at once. And it Yeah, I know from experience that intensity of fear can coexist with gentleness. There is a gentleness we can bring, especially in the times of great fear because we finally are stepping into the courage to to bring a genuine me into the conversation, and we do it in baby steps, and we do it with kindness and you do it 10 Luxurious seconds at a time and generate very literally recreate your world on a foundation from which you cannot fall.

Lynn  1:25:19

While I have, there goes a bunch more questions, but I and I do want to get to the courses that you offer. But here's the question, I feel like it it's hanging in there that I must ask for you carry. Why do you do what you do? What fuels you to keep creating courses, having these conversations and frankly, be vulnerable to the world? Why do you do what you do?

Kerri  1:25:50

Have you ever watched somebody's face and their breath when they realize they're okay. And it's okay. For them? To actually be who they are. Have you experienced that feeling? That's why, yeah. Because that's what love is. That's what love once. That's what love offers is that moment where somebody goes, Oh, I could cry right now. That feeling is why I've known that feeling since infancy. That was the first feeling I was aware of literally in infancy. This is part of my uniqueness. I saw an infant's hand cross into my vision. And I'm like, Whoa, I know what that is. Wait, what is that? Wait a minute. That's,

Lynn  1:26:52

well,

Kerri  1:26:53

that's my hand. Oh my God, I know exactly what to do. And it was a feeling the knowing what to do. It wasn't a what to do. It was the feeling that is available. And everything in my life has been touching on that feeling. Like okay, now what? Okay, how? Okay, what? Oh, but where did we? Where did it go? Wait, what? And so the best word I currently know for that feeling is love. A love that holds the world together. The the thing that is common to us all the unique, the thing that is paradoxically unique and the same within all of us, which is that love that animates us, that continues to invite us to walk forward and recognize you know, what would you like your love, recognize the opportunity to get our own attention. And have even for a moment, the experience of love. Some people only realize that in the moment before they die. They realize it. Right? We didn't. My dad was the one of the most formative relationships in this life. And he and I had moments a couple months before he died, or even actually was the last conversation I had with him. Before he died. He had had a massive stroke and and he was at the hospital in Florida and I was in California and was talking to him. And he was all of his words were garbled. And he was talking about his work from years prior saying oh, we need to get out and do some recruiting in the next couple of weeks. And bouncing into the things that really did light him up. Hardly understandable. And I said to him, like Yeah, it's really hard to understand you right now. And he, it was a blessing. I don't think he even realized really what was going on. He goes Oh, yeah, no, that's just that dry mouth from the medications. I'm like, perfect. That's the dry mouth from the medications. And then he said, Oh, the nurses here I have to go. I'll call you back in 10 minutes. And I said, Alright, call me back in 10 minutes. He said, Okay. I love you. And then there's the like, first time literally the first time in my life. I heard him and felt him say I love and it felt real. And that was the last time I spoke to him. Wow. So some people. It doesn't matter when you feel it. That is why I'm here. That's why I do everything is because of that feeling. Wow.

Lynn  1:29:52

It's like you are a pusher of okayness and love I'm sure but you know, that's what we're all seeking. And we need somebody to give us a like I say I write permission slips a lot, but in a way you are writing a permission, slip slip to let ourselves be loved. And you're leading the way, because you're letting yourself be loved.

Kerri  1:30:13

Yes. Which is seems to be the only way. So my hand went up and said, okay, yes, I'll do this, let's, let's, because this is what you were called to do. Whatever it takes like it, you know, it, there is a commitment that we make anybody at, whether you're just getting started, whether you decide in a decade, maybe I'll pick it up again. But when we start asking these questions, and having these conversations and really being really being in a relationship with this journey, within myself, that commitment is to my own heart. What is it I would really like to contribute? And there's no way to get it wrong, and there's no way to get it right.

Lynn  1:31:03

Because it's not about right or wrong. They don't

Kerri  1:31:06

exist, you have to fabricate that tension of right and wrong in order to participate in it. So when we cease fabricating it, and simply get curious, really, who am I? Okay, wow, what would I like to contribute? That's when you get to start experiencing your true power. And it's a famous speech from Marianne Williamson, you know, we're not afraid of being powerless, we're actually afraid of how powerful we are. And in large part, that's because so many of us have not had any kind of guidance, or awareness, or validation, or reflection or recognition of that innate beauty that the love that we are the power with. And once you do get a little reflection of that, and you start remembering, right, that's what that feels like, boom, you can't unpeel that you have put yourself on the journey. And you can go at whatever pace you want. Really, the moment of awareness, if that's all you do in a lifetime, you've just changed the universe. You've changed your soul level. You've changed every incarnation you've ever had, just by going okay. Yes, there

Lynn  1:32:27

it is. One moment some

Kerri  1:32:30

of us dive in kamikaze style. And other people say that's enough for me. Yeah. So okay, it's okay. And somebody did this. For me. Somebody was this reflection for me. And the moment I heard that person's voice, like it was on the phone, and I heard half a syllable. I'm like, yes. Oh, my God, I knew I wasn't alone. I couldn't be alone. It couldn't be the only one. But we worked together for several years after that, to help my mayor of think he can really turn like turn over every rock look at every nook and cranny to realize, okay, this is okay, this is who I am. Now, what would I like to contribute? So, I mean, it's, it's been a journey, and I always feel like I'm just getting started. But it's also always getting better.

Lynn  1:33:27

I love that question. What would I like to contribute here? I'm going to be stealing that and using that a lot. I do have to say, by the way, that quote you're talking about from Marianne Williamson, her book, a return to love is worth people's listening to. Yes, she she's done a brilliant job of capturing capturing a lot of these things in words. And was actually recently I think she was it was Rick Rubin's tetragram graviton. podcast. It's worth a listen. It's a podcast that he just recently put out with her. Notwithstanding that she ran for president, I think she officially still running for president. I think that it would be very hard for our country yet to accept that level of consciousness. It'd be nice if we could have it. But I don't think we're there yet.

Kerri  1:34:12

Oh, but look at the seeds. She's planning and look at the resonance yet she's bringing in and just all the different conversations that she's having. She's undeniable. undeniable.

Kerri  1:34:26

That's enough. That's,

Lynn  1:34:28

that's enough. But I'm going to be borrowing that question of how what do I want to contribute here? Because especially in moments where things aren't going well, because I've got that voice in my head that was like the one you described. It's like sitting there going, well, you can't do this. And you've got to make it work. And this is a failure and all of those kinds of things in realizing you know, all that really matters is what my next step is. All I have is now. Yes. And then the next step is all I have is that and so moving from one step to the other. is really breaking it down into small pieces is really all we can ever do. You

Kerri  1:35:04

make me think of frozen too, have you watched frozen and frozen,

Lynn  1:35:08

I have not watched those shows. I just know the song. That's it.

Kerri  1:35:14

So there's a point in frozen to where Ana thinks Elsa is dead. And all off, it's dead and she doesn't know where Christoph is. And she's totally alone. And she is singing a song, of course, because it's Disney. But the song is saying, you know, when I'm in a darkness I've never been in before, all I can do is the next right thing. And the song is really beautiful. But that's that's what you're pointing to being available to that some of us need to get broken down the psyche need, the heart never needs to get broken down. The psyche can be so strong, that, you know, some of us like me are stubborn, and everything gets taken away so that you can actually start to see who you really are, by how what you want to bring into the next situation. That is a brilliant way to discover who I really am. What would I like to contribute here? What would I actually like to contribute? What would I love to see here? If it doesn't already exist? Can I offer it?

Lynn  1:36:23

Well, and that may be the core of the message because the other thing I was noticing when I said you're a pusher of okayness is you're also i My business is called Creative spirits unleashed. And it's like a little bit like you're unleashing the spark, the unique spark that was there all along that people have covered up. And that's part of your work is, which is very, so very similar to mine. But so I can I can resonate with it. But that's what nobody else can do your spark. So we need it. Yes,

Kerri  1:36:52

I love that. So the name of my business is generation of harmony. Because this is what I'd like to contribute is how many ways can can I assist you assist humanity to recognize that pure tone, like to me, it's a musical analogy as well. You are a pure, individual unique musical note. In all of the universe, there will never be another that is the one animating Lin. Today. There's a unique one animating carry, and each is a unique musical tone. And as each of us call it congruence, as as we cultivate the space to just let that tone be what it is, regardless of what we're doing. You can be a janitor and be a fully realized you being doing janitor things, or corporate things, you can be a fully realized human being doing just about anything. And as my journey and my relationship with myself in the world, is a commitment to that curiosity, what lets that pure musical note actually shine, I am generating harmony, like a tuning fork, I will be a pure note humming. And as I do the universe comes into harmony around me, then we can experience that flow state, we can experience that presence that is absent of conflict. Regardless of all the yes, there's conflict out in the world, but this presence is absent of conflict. And in a way, I literally walk through the world generating harmony, giving people a felt experience of its existence. Because that is that felt experience is what wakes that same space, that same presence up in one another. So we were saying earlier, you know, I can't point at you and say, Hey, you get harmonized right now, right? I can't do that. But I can show up and share what I have. Using the tools, the faculties I mean, I have speech, I have hand gestures, I have writing I do things. And through that. I'm just it is like my constant prayer. Like how, how can I be the greatest assistance to live with an open heart and help people remember that part of themselves as well?

Lynn  1:39:39

You I mean, you are describing a way of being that is harm, harm and harmonic and joyful, but it can be applied to any number of tasks. And that is the, to me there was a time when all I cared about was Am I doing the right tasks, as opposed to how am I doing the tasks? Yes, you know Am I as I'm doing that, how am I being am I as I'm doing the tasks that I've talked about my I had this like crazy making thought when I was unloading my car one day and I was pulling out eggs and groceries and mail and had this nuts thought that I knew we were 10 minutes away from Mystic waters and I'm always bringing something back to Mystic waters, you're taking it so there's a lot to unload in my cars. Like, we should just sell it because I'm so tired of unloading my car, which is completely illogical thought because I'm still good. I'm still going to be getting my oil, I'm still gonna be getting groceries. I'm still getting you know, but But I realized it was time to begin to break things down step by step and actually allow the joy in the moment. So, you know, instead of looking for I've successfully gotten everything up with no broken eggs up the stairs to the kitchen. How about just looking at did I actually get the this bag in this hand and this bag in this hand? Okay, good. Now, let's walk through the door good. walking up the stairs good. Like when I go about each task like that. I can sweep like its policies in here. And I used to just be like, Oh my god, I have to clean the porch. And now it's like I get to go sweep because every stroke Good, good. Every stroke is good. And so no matter what my task is, complement I do the same thing on the ski horse or when I'm riding a horse or out on my rowing shell. You know sculling is each moment of sort of being in the moment. Good. So

Kerri  1:41:30

beautiful. It reminds me somebody brought this up just two nights ago, I did a talk up in Carmel Valley and they brought up the Dalai Lama. And Dalai Lama's advice of if you are going to eat, just eat, don't be doing anything other than eating in the moment. What that points to is it takes away this need to seek joy. Because you begin to acknowledge that joy already exists. The question is, am I available for it?

Lynn  1:42:07

I heard Eckhart Tolle interviewed with Oprah, and she was talking about like, needing to eat french fries. This was years ago. She's like, I love the french fries. And he said that when you eat the french fry, ate the french fry. Yes. And all the kitchen. Oh, I love it. One day we were I was teaching the self awareness program years, a few years ago with and I was still in the apprenticeship. So I was with a co instructor and somebody was talking about this dilemma feeling like we've been talking about this whole conversation and talking about being in the moment and she goes, here's what I want everyone to do go get a great because we had fruit so everybody went and got a grape she was don't put it in your mouth yet. And then she walked us through the experience of eating the grapes. She said first, I want you just to notice what the grape feels like, on your fingertips. Yes. And then she had us put it and I won't go through the whole thing. But we put the grapes in our mouth. And it was she had like notice the texture notice the you know, every little bit of it. It took her five minutes to take us on this journey before she let us bite into the Great. Yes. And I will tell you there have never been 10 people that had a better grape in your life. And those 10 people because we ate the grape. You know, you can think about it for pretty much everybody listening to this podcast, they have access to a french fry or a grape. Yes. And that's amazing. I have access to joy. That's

Kerri  1:43:37

exactly right. So Oh, see, that just brings me back full circle, like all of it is feel, feel. Feel the grape, I can feel the texture, I can taste the taste. Whether or not I have a grape. I have hands, most of us have hands. Not everybody has two hands. Not everybody has one hand. So that's just true. I acknowledge that. But each of us we have a jaw. We have hairs, we have skin. And literally especially when things are gnarly around us, or if we're just really wanting to have a deeper experience of the trees and when I'm walking in the park. I can bring my awareness to the sensation of the breeze on my skin. For 10 Luxurious seconds. I can bring my awareness to the colors, and what my eyeballs feel like, like physically what my eyeballs feel like when I'm looking at Green. And then when I look at Blue, and then when I look at Red, and then when I look at the shape of flowers, and then when I look at the shape of the road, these are all things that are with us 1,000% of the time, and we have the freedom even if somebody's telling Looking to me, to tune in to my hands, massaging each other, I have the freedom and let the person be talking but make a priority of my experience and is making myself available for the joy that already exists. That is lighting up my heart lighting up every experience that animates my body. And what if, what if all of that is what actually helps me see who I really am? What I'm really about what my purpose is on this planet? What if experiencing beauty and joy is the whole purpose? Because nobody can do it the way you do? What if that's the only thing to fulfill is be aware of what you find beautiful, and then go enjoy yourself.

Lynn  1:45:55

That's just a big wow. Like, imagine living life like that? Yes. Now, that makes me think a lot of people are probably thinking, Oh, wait, how do I work with her? How do I find out more about living that kind of life? And you mentioned a couple of courses? But could you tell people a little bit about how to find you how to work with you what that might look like?

Kerri  1:46:17

Yes, thank you. So I do one on one sessions with people that are all directed by the people people find me literally by word of mouth. And when somebody just has something to explore, or they're curious, they know there's more and they don't know how to get there. Or maybe it's in relationship with their animals, and they want to understand how to relate and hear their animals or at work or families. People will you can go to my website generate harmony.com And there's a one on one with Carrie link there is it's such a joy, that's probably my favorite way to assist. Because we can just dive in and honor people right in the moment. And yeah, it's it's just such an honor to have that to share. There are online courses as well. Like I mentioned earlier, there's tools for an awakening world, there's feel. In a self study, we also do courage to feel in person. So I'm actually going to be Michigan at the end of the month, for a three and a half day, courage to feel experience. There's actually some spaces left there if people are interested. So there's the the in person things there too, you can find it on generate harmony.com. There's a way

Lynn  1:47:49

all your stuff. And that's like the best gateway to use just to go to your website, which, which is just beautiful. I've just, I've just pulled it up. I've seen it before, but I pulled it up again. And you've got this ways to engage there and your new program and your events and all that right here. Right? Yes,

Kerri  1:48:07

well, and since you play with ponies, too. So there's a brand new program we just announced called activating and facilitating feel. It's designed for teachers, trainers, instructors and mentors, because really, my heart is interested in the ripple you like if I can assist other teachers and trainers to first open a relationship with their own clarity and feel. And then help them communicate that to their students. We are you know, making a nice ripple. And I think the equestrian world is kind of asking for it. You know, there's this adage that you can't teach feel and actually kind of agree with that, but only because people already have it. Everybody already has feel

Lynn  1:48:54

exactly how do you teach something that they already have? Exactly? giving them access to what they've always had? That's

Kerri  1:49:00

exactly what it is. So how many ways can Can I illuminate help people recognize where their feel is already active and clear. And then provide tools and guidance to expand their clarity to actually relax into themselves. And the moment you relax, you have more to share. So that is actually a year long journey that will start in October. And we are going to we've got an informational zoom on the 27th of May. And we're going to offer little smaller things leading up to that so people can see if they wanted to just really dive in. But I'm super excited about that. That as well. Yeah,

Lynn  1:49:42

we'll put that on your calendars folks. May 27 that way to get more information on this.

Kerri  1:49:47

Yeah, exactly on all of it all questions.

Lynn  1:49:50

That's fantastic. Really

Kerri  1:49:52

mind that's my commitment. How many? How best can I assist humanity to open their heart and live with an open heart And that really is my prayer every day make me an instrument of that.

Lynn  1:50:04

I use the language be the conduit. That's kind of how the it makes sense to me as opposed to being in control. Yeah, you know what I feel like I need to be in control. I just got to be the conduit. I love that. I love it. And then he kind of changes it totally, it

Kerri  1:50:23

completely changes like both are okay. Like, if you want to be in control, be in control, it's just going to be vastly different journey and a totally different experience than exploring that vulnerability of watching the universe recognize you pick you up, take you on a ride that you would have never known to ask for. Never known to intend. Feel like you. You can't fall, there's nowhere to fall. There's only more love. And yeah, that's a that's just like, pipe dreams. You know, it's just word candy until you actually experience it. Once you've experienced that. This is this is what this world has to offer.

Lynn  1:51:07

This is so beautiful. And I really do believe that if we can live from love, there is nothing that can stop us from going on that ride.

Kerri  1:51:18

I totally agree. It's so natural, like, of course, the most horse that your systems are like, Ah, right. Let's go.

Lynn  1:51:28

I've been waiting for this. This is what we call

Kerri  1:51:31

an awakening, right? Yep, that that like, boom, there's no going back. I

Lynn  1:51:37

will say once I started seeing some of these things. It's true. There was no going back for me. Yeah, there's really no going back. It's a whole different experience of the world.

Kerri  1:51:48

It really, if you let it be can be profoundly gentle, even intensity. A lot of people are really afraid because they're afraid they'll be overwhelmed by emotions. They're afraid they'll be taken over, they'll lose their identity, they'll lose who they know, fair, it's all fair. And just leave a little bit of space for the potential that you can let yourself unfold with an incredible gentleness and just might be new. We just might not have a lot of experience with that yet. But that's why we show up to assist each other. When when we do know that experience. Like you're saying, you can't not want to help others. Once you feel that okayness something more of your own aliveness, your truth is the absence of conflict. That is your true nature. That is our true nature. People say, Oh, it's human nature to be at war and blah, blah, but like, no, it's an option. And it's very common. But you know, when there's a huge natural disaster by and large, what happens is people come together and help each other.

Lynn  1:53:06

Yeah. Well. I feel like I've just had a fabulous coaching session with Carrie, this has been fantastic, Carrie. I've just loved every minute of it. I can't thank you enough.

Kerri  1:53:19

Thank you so much, Lynne. It's such an honor to get to play and share. Just like this is what we do any cheerleader. Sure. Let's just do it. I

Lynn  1:53:30

know I absolutely. Well, I'm gonna, we'll close this out now by telling everyone that if you enjoyed this conversation, you can hear more of these at Lynn karns.com There is a podcast tab. And if you would like to subscribe to get my news, you go to the coaching, you can also subscribe on my website to the coaching digest. Be sure and share this conversation with anyone you think might enjoy it. And Carrie, thank you again for being here. Thank you for listening to the creative spirits unleashed podcast. I started this podcast because I was having these great conversations and I wanted to share them with others. I'm always learning in these conversations, and I wanted to share that kind of learning with you. Now what I need to hear from you is what you want more of and what you want less of. I really want these podcasts to be a value for the listeners. Also, if you happen to know someone who you think might love them, please share the podcast and of course subscribe and rate it on the different apps that you're using, because that's how others will find it. Now, I hope you go and do something very fun today.