#3 Identity

Ep3 Identity BtE podcast
Welcome, I'm Arnold Begas and I enable you to have a better life between the ears. Why is that so important? Because your inner state creates your outer reality. Today's topic is identity.

It's a topic which seems a bit difficult, well I think in essence it's not difficult and it's something which limits most of us because we think our identity is a given just like our personality is like that's just who we are and nobody challenges it and we all think oh yeah that's the way it is that's the way it's gonna stay and I'm not I'm not gonna address it I'm not gonna change it but because you're not addressing it it limits you. Let me give you a bunch of examples. Most of them happened to me as well.

When you are laid off and in this economy for especially the last years which has been going on for ages you lose your main role you lose your main identity because a lot of people would identify with their job. Imagine you're at the birthday party or even a network meeting or you meet a new person well you introduce yourself so you give your name and then very quickly most people ask what do you do what do you do and then you say I'm an account manager at a bank or I'm a nurse or I am a teacher at the school so we identify then with what we do and then if people understand what you do because a nurse and a teacher and an account manager most people have an idea and then a lot of people also say like the company or the organization where they're working is like meh and then people like oh yeah I understand at that point in time they put you in a box and that box is limiting you because people don't look at you when you say I'm a nurse is like that maybe in your spare time you're teaching Chinese to people or the account manager in his spare time is helping elderly people using their computer your label becomes your box and your box is your limitation and the biggest problems I've experienced that myself and everybody is like the moment you lose your job you get laid off it's happening a lot now with artificial intelligence but it's been going over ages people are getting laid off so now you go again to a network meeting or you meet some strangers then you well your name is still the same but you're like I'm no longer that account manager I'm no longer that nurse I'm no longer that teacher what do I have to say that is a painful topic because you don't know what to say and you don't like to say well I actually lost my job and I'm looking for a new job well some people say that but a lot of people try to avoid that there are also people who identify with the role they play I'm a mother I'm a father I'm a caretaker of my parents that's just the role you play that's not who you are and it's increasing right now but it's been going on for millennia actually people say I'm a Christian I'm a Muslim I'm a Buddhist no that's what you believe that's not who you are or right now when you are following the world championships in football but it can be with any sport whatever people identify with a nationality I'm Paraguayan I'm German I'm Mexican no that's where you were born and the poignant example I had a few weeks ago where I was talking to a group of refugees in Uganda I'm training and coaching them and they there were six people and they all introduced themselves to me and they said the name like hi I'm and then the name I'm 18 years old the rage and then they all said I'm a refugee so I could not let it go by just accepting that because the moment you label yourself as a refugee you put in a huge limitation on yourself no being a refugee is an experience which you have which is a very unfortunate experience which you have most likely at a very young age but it doesn't matter you also have elderly people who are refugees but that's not who you are but the moment you label yourself you put yourself in a box and everybody's saying oh that's a refugee they can't do nothing they're hungry they have no jobs they always want money no it's not actually they're very nice people they're very driven most of very intelligent so it's not the traditional label of a refugee so all of these identities are meant to kind of emphasize our role in the outside world that identity becomes our personality and we all wear a mask and a mask with with some sound you know we have a mask and there's some sound and well I have to be that account manager and I have to wear a nice suit and and that's the way I have to act because it is an act it's not who you really are I had a nice quote here from Robert Greene who says ego leads to masking how people really are etiquette is deception your self-identity dictates your experience and your label which is your identity is a label it's a self-identity with the limitation but it's crucial to understand that well I just gave you a whole lot of examples what you are not and these identities they're not fixed they can change they will change and then all of a sudden you become confused and desperate and like oh I'm no longer that account manager at the well-known bank who am I now well I need to find a new job because I need a new identity no you don't we have to realize that we are not that mask we are not those identities we are not the labels we are infinite awareness having an experience all the things which are happening to me is an experience I'm having but the experience is not me so I invite you to carefully think about who you are yeah it's already in the Greek temple in Athens the main thing which is written there know thyself so it's not a new question but I invite you to think about who you are without the labels and then I would like to add the second question which especially for people are working and I think basically everyone is working whether it's paid or not if you're a housewife you're also working so if you're an elderly and you're helping other people you're you're also working so I invite you to not only think about who am I but also what do I want what do I really want our next topic is everyday beauty we conclude each session with some examples of everyday beauty because beauty and especially moral beauty like kindness courage compassion has a very positive influence on your inner state and like I said your inner state creates your outer reality so the better your inner state the better your outer reality and one of the things to do is to focus on everyday beauty I have two examples one is a very simple and I think a very satisfying practice if you do it is to talk to strangers I know I know now you might say but my parents told me Arnold you shouldn't talk to strangers yes that is what my parents told me and in some cases it's a very wise advice but when you're an adult that's stupid advice it's very very satisfying and nice to speak to people you don't know or you never met or introduce yourself and build a network or social relations it's very nice actually and I tell you the other person likes that as well so why don't you talk to someone you never talked before starting today another example of moral beauty is related to art as you you might know during world war ii 1940 1945 the nazis occupied a lot of countries and what they did is they out of the museum in those countries they stole artworks and some of them very very famous artworks so in paris in france there were more than 100 000 items of cultural property looted they were stolen and then they well that's the problem we didn't know where it went so after the war some 60 000 out of the 100 000 were recovered and 45 000 were returned to the rightful owners but there were still 15 000 artworks without identified owners so what it has now done the musée d'orsay in in paris has opened the gallery with the title to whom do these belong and currently on display are 12 paintings including works by renard ray noir and dega and sculpture by rodin these are one of the top famous artists in the world so each works come with what is known is like when was it sold initially in france where did it go in in in the nazi era who painted it but the key part is still we still don't know where the owner is and what they do with this exhibition to whom do these belong is to hopefully find people that people come to find is like hey i know that person or i can contact you with a person so that the rightful owner can recollect their artworks i think that's a very very nice activity of that musée d'orsay thank you for today and remember we need your uniqueness be a better maker for yourself for others for the world