Sorting - Learning to Filter what stays and what goes? - Episode 6

Welcome to the MAKES SENSE podcast, where we apply the science, art and philosophy of sense making to the things that make you go Hmmm? Those most pressing thoughts and discussions going on in our minds today. The Makes Sense Podcast is an expense free service with the intention of helping you execute on the concept of changing the way you look at things, so that the things you look at begin to change. 

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Today we’ll MAKE SENSE of a process i call SORTING - A technique from step three (Assess) of the Interface Response System that assists us in making better Decisions that are in support of the life you desire

Let’s consciously take this moment and begin the process of reclaiming control of our reality. How do we reclaim control of our reality and life? We must first identify what it means and feel like it is out of control? How does the feeling of being out of control show up in your life? For me, it shows up in many ways. When I participate with my thoughts and feelings of worry and concern for example. I can find myself either overeating or easily agitated and irritated by people. Even loved ones. I find it hard for me to multitask and stay on track with the things I had planned to do that day. Sometimes I find my confidence is down as well as my general outlook on life. In fact I have created a general name for all these symptoms and feelings associated with me being out of control. I call it FUNKY TOWN. Where I find myself in a FUNK. Have you been there? Only challenge is that while I am feeling these downstream symptoms I am unaware or unconscious that I am out of control.  I just feel crappy in general. Yet I am unaware that I am trying to control the uncontrollables in my life. See, that is my definition of being out of control. Being out of the state of controlling the things we control and in the state of trying to build an airplane in the sky or teach a goldfish to climb a tree. Both are impossible. Just like you trying to control the uncontrollables in your life and feeling, OUT OF CONTROL.

One of my favorite quotes came from the amazing Ekhart Tolle, author of one of my top favorite reads, The Power of Now. Tolle speaks a lot about suffering and says that the first step to end suffering is the acknowledgment that you are in fact suffering. This is why I introduced the concept of first being able to make the distinction that you are in fact out of control and that your lack of control is showing up in your ineffectiveness at responding to adversity with grace. As we discussed in the last episode. Why is this important? Well, it would be the reason and catalist for you wanting to make some changes in your life. Specifically in taking control of what you decide to do with your time, as well as who and what gets into your schedule and mind and who and what does not? 

So let's start with unveiling why we’d want to learn how to sort through the things that matter vs don’t? It begins with your current reality and what your perception is about your life. Are you genuinely happy with your life? How would you go about determining if you were genuinely happy?

Paul Conti interview on Huberman Lab. When asked how we define a “Healthy Self”? What is the healthy version of self? What should we all be aspiring to? Paul Conti replied that a healthy self presents its life through the lens of agency and gratitude. He explains that if a human has those two things, Agency and Gratitude, you almost never see things go wrong. 

Agency refers to an individual's capacity to make choices, set goals, and take intentional actions to influence their life circumstances.

Gratitude: involves recognizing and appreciating the positive aspects of life, acknowledging the goodness in oneself and others, and expressing thankfulness.

So, if someone is genuinely happy with themselves, they are someone that is experiencing agency and gratitude  (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tLRCS48Ens4)

My question to Paul Conti should I ever be graced with his presence on the show would be this. Can a human being create and self fabricate the illusion that they are in a state of agency and gratitude through the practices of mindfulness and repetition of things like daily affirmations and controlling what they consume from the world each day? And, is that the same as the genuine agency and gratitude that I am hearing you speak of? In other words, can we decide any day to practice and manifest agency and gratitude even in the absence of things like basic physical, mental and financial well being due to a lack of motivation and consistency in our daily lives? Can we fabricate it and make it up?

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Why am I fascinated by this idea of possessing the ability to look at life through the lens of Agency and Gratitude? Because it is the foundation for why someone would take their lives serious enough to consider practicing some of the various effective tools we discuss on this podcast that are intended to pause our potentially inefficient response system, and take measures to learn how to protect the doorway to our minds with things like consumption control and the practice of sorting. In other words, if you don’t know your power and abilities and don’t have a deep appreciation for how amazing and precious life is? You won’t be motivated to protect it and will do what most do. Go with the flow.

Definition: Sorting is the process of arranging things systematically into groups; separating things according to type, class, etc. "the mail was sorted" 

In the context of phase three of the Interface Response System, ASSESS. Sorting carries the same definition yet has a different intention outside of just getting things organized. The practice of sorting is analogous to that of a filter. Taking things we interface with (events, people, thoughts, feelings etc.) and sorting them out to determine which ones go and which ones stay. Similar to the traditional elements of sorting, in this filter we must learn how to assess the events;

• Prioritization and importance: Does it matter

• Goal Alignment: In accordance with our goals and dreams.

• Categorization: Where does it fit in or does it not?

• Control Factor: Do we have any control over the situation or not?

THE BOUNCER:

The best way to put some color to the practice of sorting is analogy of the BOUNCER - The basic premise of a bouncer's job in a bar or nightclub is quality control. If working the front door, the bouncer checks ID’s and uses a guest list to control who gets in and who doesn’t. If walking around the inside of the facility, the bouncers job is to make sure everyone that got inside is playing nice and adding to the quality of the environment for all to enjoy themselves. If all is looking kosher, its nothing but smiles. If someone or something is out of alignment the bouncer reserves the right to remove them from the premises with force if necessary. 

In terms of you being the bouncer in your life it means that your mind, mental health and sense making machine represents the nightclub. Your voluntary conscious mind is the filter or bouncer that is there to sort things out. Determine who and what’s on the invited guest list or not. Your negative thoughts, fears, worries, and concerns that are holding you back? They are the guests in your nightclub that are no longer welcome and must be escorted from the premises. 

The skill set of the bouncer goes beyond just sorting. A good bouncer doesn’t take things personally when guests argue and complain or resist being removed. A good bouncer separates themselves from getting emotionally attached to these interactions and just does their job based on using logic and rationale in connection with the desire to have a homeostatic, safe and efficient environment.

They assess the situation by asking three basic questions that require checks across the board. Get one no to one of the three questions? No entry and removal from the premises.

1. Does this matter and is this about me or them?

2. Is this in support of the direction I am moving?

3. Is this in my control or not?

By asking these three questions, you are passing all things you interface with through your sorting filter. Helping you determine what gets in and stays, vs. what doesn’t get it and must go. 

Might you need to hire a bouncer to start checking ID’s, and walk through your nightclub to remove unwanted guests?

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