How to Know the Difference Between Fantasy and True Desire

What actually keeps our souls alive is the

unexpected. It's the unknown. It's it's not knowing what's

coming, and the reason we constantly want to predetermine

what's coming, A, because we've been taught to but B, because

we're afraid that good things won't happen if we don't control

it. But here's the thing, you miss the good things when you're

controlling it, you cannot experience the things that

you're meant to experience when you're controlling where you're

going. It's counterintuitive, but like the control is the very

thing that robs you from the experience your soul is meant to

have. So even though it seems scary to just trust life is

like, all you have to do is follow your desire moment to

moment. Listen to your body, listen to your heart, listen to

your soul. Hello, my loves. Welcome to the new truth

podcast. Very happy to be here. This is my first recording since

before my mom and dad arrived in Kenya. It is okay. Maybe I say

this every single week, but oh my god, time flies when you're

having fun, and I think when you're not having fun, it just

seems like time is going so fast. So buckle down. Slow down.

Talking to myself right now, treasure every moment is so

precious, and I just feel infinitely grateful for these

experiences I get to have with my mom and dad around the world.

You know, I grew up, actually? Yeah, I didn't plan on sharing

this, but it's coming through, so I'm going to share it. I grew

up my family and I went to the same Lakeside resort. PS, we

still go when I come home in August, we still go for like 47

years. I'm not 47 but they've been going for several years

before I was born. And the same Lakeside resort in the Okanagan,

which is a four and a half hour drive away from Vancouver, and

that's where we went on our holidays every year. We never

traveled at all. We did one road trip when I was 13 years old to

Disneyland. That was a long drive from Vancouver, but of

course, we did the beautiful coast of the US. We did

Washington and Oregon and California. So it was a pretty

spectacular trip. Met up with my bestie and her family in

Disneyland, and that was the only trip we did. And we drove.

We did not fly anywhere. My first airplane was when I was in

grade seven, and I was flying to meet my friend in the Okanagan,

which is where I go with my family every summer. So like a

40 minute flight. I didn't travel until I started my

career, really, until I started in my mid 20s as a business

coach, and that's when I backpacked to Europe. So I

traveled when I was 20, moved to Australia, so I guess I traveled

then, but our family weren't a traveling family. And you know,

I guess my brothers would stay say, we're still not a traveling

family, because they don't, they haven't joined us on any of

these trips yet. But you know, when I think back to when I

lived in Australia, when I was 22 my family came to Australia,

my older brother was already traveling, and he was living

with me in Sydney for a couple of months. So my mom and dad and

brother packed up and came to Australia for three weeks, and

we did an extraordinary trip across the west coast of

Australia, and it was absolutely amazing. And my brother, oh, my

god, like so many funny things happened, I should remember, my

brother got locked out of my apartment. He was in his

pajamas, and he managed to find my cafe I worked in that was a

good, like, 20 minute drive away. I don't know how he found

it, but he showed up in his pajamas with no shoes on. That

was my favorite memory of that trip. So we had, you know, that

was the beginning of us having a really amazing experience

together. And that trip was because I moved to Australia. I

lived there for about a year and a half in my early 20s. Moved

there because of fantasy love, so that's funny. I actually

maybe will share that story, because I haven't shared it in a

long time, and it's so relevant to this episode. But I moved

there for fantasy love. It turned out to not be good. It

was. We broke up pretty quickly into my journey, and I had the

most amazing time. And my mom and dad came, and my grandmother

is Australian, so my mom was like, over the moon. She She's

obsessed with family roots. She spent all her time, you know,

contacting all her cousins. They went. My parents went on little

trips to meet people, and it was such a special journey that we

had together. So fast forward to four years ago, me moving to

Greece. My mom and dad had been to Greece before, but only on

one of those, like Mediterranean cruises. So they'd like, you

know, gone, done one place for a day, another place for a day. So

they didn't really know the culture of Greece and then, but

because I moved to Greece, they decided to come. I think they

didn't know it was going to be every year, but they just missed

me, and they often do a trip. Since they've retired, they do a

trip pretty much every year. And they were going to Europe kind

of every other year, without me moving to Greece. So they came

to Greece every year, every fall for four weeks, sometimes five

weeks. One time, they brought my godparents, and we had these

extraordinary trips around the Greek islands. One year, we went

to Scotland and England and Greece, and we just had the most

amazing time. And I feel like I'm getting to experience,

getting to know my parents in a completely different way.

Because, first of all, my brothers aren't there. No

offense. Love them deeply, but my brothers are. It's just

different. They're boys, and they're like, real boys, you

know, like, make jokes about the Simpsons and can't have deep

conversations, so my brothers are not with us, and the depth

of connection my mom and dad and I have is so different and so

special and so beautiful, not to mention they're very different

when they're traveling. My mom, my dad naps more. My mom is just

like a kid. She's they're kind of both like little kids when

they travel, they're both really giddy and they're really full.

They probably nap because they're full of energy, like

they do so many things. They always want to go on 10 million

adventures. So we've got to have this incredible new part of our

relationship that didn't exist before. We're closer than ever.

I've always been close to my parents. They're amazing. Anyone

who meets Kenny and Cher, don't call her Cher up to her face.

She doesn't like it, but Cheryl is her name, so we call them

Kenny and Cher. Anyone that meets them is in love with them.

And you know, this goes for every culture, every place I've

ever taken them. They are just the cutest ever. They're about

to have their 50th wedding anniversary, so I'll probably do

an episode with them this summer. But they come to Greece,

we have these amazing experiences. And then I moved to

Kenya, and then what happens? My mom first says, oh, there's no

way I'm coming to Kenya. We're not going to Africa. You know,

maybe in our next lifetime, when I first started coming. And then

sure enough, a year into me coming to Kenya, she was like,

so if one were to come to Kenya, what would be the best time of

year to come? And so it was so cute, like, all right, I knew

you were coming. And then before they came, she said, we're only

coming one time. And then, of course, when they're here,

literally everyone they meet, they fall in love with every

single Kenyan person is like, When are you coming back? When's

your next trip? And even my our safari driver, John, who also

drives for my retreats, and he's just like family. Now, John has

gifted them a two day free Safari so that they'll come back

next year. So it's just unbelievable to think I went

from this childhood where we didn't travel at all, except for

going to the same scripted place over and which I loved that

place, but it was like the same thing every single summer, same

weeks, same families, same, same, same, which my soul hates.

And then now I'm getting to have these totally unscripted,

unplanned, like, can't even, couldn't even fathom that this

would be our path because I had the courage to follow my heart.

So I'm starting there, because I think that's such an important

thing on the new truth to remember that, you know, when we

follow our hearts, I did a little Instagram video about

this the other day. It's like, your saboteur is going to be

like, no, no, that's selfish. No, you're going to hurt

everyone. No, they're going to be devastated if you move away.

No, you know, they're going to be mad. You're going to disrupt

everyone's lives. People will judge you, and your saboteur

will come up with all of the reasons why you should not

follow your heart. But here's the truth from the other side of

following your heart. It is a gift for everyone. I'm about to

do a retreat, so I just wrapped it up with my parents. I've been

sleeping for like two days. I'm so tired. And then I'm heading

back to olapenge tomorrow for a Valentine's weekend workshop

that we're doing. And then my there's six heroin sisters

flying from North America and Australia to come meet me at Ola

pangi for a nine day into the wild retreat in Kenya. So and

it's a whole bunch of women, mostly who were just at the

immersion last year in Greece with me, one of them who was at

the immersion the year before, and one of them was at the

immersion in 2018 so I'm just so excited and just pinch myself

that this is my life, but this is what happens when you follow

your heart and you follow your desires. So this is all so

relevant to this week's episode, because

there is a pre pre subscribed, predetermined, pre written story

script. We'll call it that you have been fed your whole entire

life of how your life is supposed to look, and you have

heard me say this 10 million times. So this is not new

information. I. But my loves. Here's the thing, so much of

your desires, so much of your desires aren't your desires you.

So I can't even tell you how many women I've met over the

years that are just like, I just want a relationship, I just want

a husband, I just want kids. I'm not saying that there's anything

wrong with those things, and I'm just using those as examples,

because those are the strongest imprint of the script that that

is the only option as women, and that is the thing that's going

to make us happy, make us feel successful, make us feel worthy,

make us feel like we matter. And the reality is, if that is your

path that's going to unfold, you don't have to control it. You

don't have to figure it out. You don't have to go fight for it

and go find it. But if you are fighting for it and finding it

and looking for it and trying to control it, this is the story of

who you've been meant to be, who you not, who you've been meant

to me, correction, who you've been taught to be, because your

life is not meant to look like anyone else's. My life doesn't

look like anyone else's, and it's not to say like I'm still

not opposed. I might end up married one day. I might end up

with kids one day, maybe I'll end up with step kids one day. I

have no idea what's coming. Because remember, how do you

know you're on the path? I gotta have David J white on here,

because I talk about. I use this quote every episode. How do you

know you're on the path? Well, because the path disappears.

That's how you know the path disappears. You cannot see where

you're going. That's how you know you're on your soul path.

Your soul path is not like anyone else's, and your story is

not meant to be like anyone else's. So if you if your life

looks exactly like everyone else's life around you, and

you're you're or you're striving for it to look like everyone's

around you, especially young women, there's so much pressure.

I think once you hit, you know, go through perimenopause,

menopause years, you just stop giving a fuck about what

everyone else is doing. But when we're young, there is so this

goes out to all the young women out there. It's like there is so

much pressure on you for your life to go a certain way. I was

just speaking with a heroin client yesterday about how crazy

it is that even when people like quit a job or get laid off from

work, how you know, almost within a week or two, people

were like, what's next? What are you doing? Have you figured

things out? As soon as someone ends a relationship, it's like,

Are you dating? Have you met anyone? Are you going to put

yourself out there again? You're going to take a break, like

people are constantly pushing us to something else, right? That's

the script. That's the formula of what life is supposed to be,

which only creates it's not about there's nothing wrong

inherently with the choices themselves. The problem is the

part of us that's making the choices right. That's the

problem. Hopefully you get that from every episode. The

challenge here is if you are making choices in your life,

from fear, from pressure, from control, from the idea of what

it should look like or should be, or even the idea of what you

should look like or how you should be, if that is where your

choices are coming from you are living from your saboteur, which

is your conditioned self, right? Which I kind of lately have just

been seeing the conditioned self like a robot. I think, with all

the plastic surgery craze and all the filters online and all

the AI chat, GPT, like, all the like robot stuff that is

happening out there. It's just like that's really our

conditioned self, right? We're putting up a front. It's not

your fault. We are deeply, deeply, deeply trained and

programmed to do this, but we're putting up a front to try and

make our lives and our bodies and our faces and our

relationships and our and our houses and our kitchen

renovations, we're trying to make everything look a certain

way, our Instagram pages, our websites, everything is is looks

a certain way so that, so that we get the approval of everyone

around us, right? And that's usually the thing that's driving

it like, if you are making your choices from fantasy, from the

story of who you've been taught to be, from the script of the

scripted woman, right? We all start out as a script. No, okay,

wait. We all start out wild and free. Then we become scripted

because we're taught to and then one day you have an awakening,

or you don't, you know, I've known lots of people who've made

it to the other side, and they stayed scripted the whole time.

My grandparents were an example of that, and they, bless their

hearts, they were amazing, but they were very, very scripted,

not happy in their lives. And, you know, whatever that was,

their soul journey. I'm not here to say that's wrong, but if

you're listening to the new truth, and you're following the

unscripted woman, and you're drawn to. This message I'm

imagining your soul is meant for something more, you know. And I

think every new generation is here to wake up the world more

and more and more and more and more because we have more

access, more resources, more connection. So the scripted path

is an option that is absolutely an option, and what's underneath

the scripted path is a little girl trying to prove her worth

through what she looks like, what her life looks like, what a

relationship status is, what job she has, what her house looks

like, what neighborhood she lives in, what bags she carries.

You know, it might look different for for you know, some

people care about having the Prada handbag. Some people care

about having the fancy car. Some people care about having the

perfect man on her arm or the corner office. But underneath,

you know, I've looked inside of, if you if I think of women as

cars, I've looked inside of the hood of a lot of cars on planet

Earth. And, you know, at this point, 1000s actually have

coached in my own method, I've coached hundreds and hundreds,

but I have been coaching for almost 20 years. I was a

business coach, teaching basically similar things around

self worth and business before, doing love. And so I've looked

under the hood of a lot of women, and there is okay, that

sounded weird. I just it just got weird. I take back my

metaphor.

But you know, inside most women, no matter how perfect they look

on the outside, no matter how perfect their relationship

looks, or their home or their body or their face or their

whatever it may be, most women are so deeply hurting inside and

at War Within, right and they're trying to keep up the facade,

trying to keep up with the Joneses, trying to keep up with

the timeline, trying to keep up with the script, trying to keep

up with everyone else's expectations. Like, oh, you lot.

You quit your job. Like, have you started a new one yet? What

are you up there looking, what do you what do you do? And what

else are you doing? Like, oh, are you dating? Are you putting

yourself out there? Oh, you met a man. Is he the one? Are you

gonna get married? Oh, you guys got married once. When are you

having kids? Oh, you had a baby. When's the next baby? Right?

It's, and I'm, I'm speeding it up, because that's what it feels

like, like crazy making. It feels like crazy making all of

the people who are trained by the script to keep us in the

script right, people are very uncomfortable. I'd have really

cute FaceTime with my uncle the other night, randomly. I think

he was calling because I was with my parents. I've never

FaceTimed with him before. It was really cute. And he was

like, So how long are you going to be in Kenya for? And I was

like, oh, like, indefinitely. And he was like, What? What do

you mean? And I was like, indefinitely. And he's like,

until you end up somewhere else. And I'm like, sure. Maybe I'll

go on a trip to India, and I'll fall in love with India, and

I'll move there like it. I don't know where I'm going to be next

month, uncle, I don't know where I'm going to be next year. I

don't know who I'm going to be. I don't know what my life is

going to look like, and that is what makes me so happy, because

I'm just able to be where I am, right? So let's talk about the

difference between fantasy and desire. Desire is about being

present in your life, and being present to feelings arising and

and pleasure and what your body responds to. We've talked

recently about this idea that your body is a musical

instrument, and when something is aligned for you, there's

going to be a feeling of resonance, like singing.

Whenever I sing. And I'm not a great singer, okay, I have the

ability to sing well, but most of the time, I kind of like joke

sing. And I mean, y'all, y'all have heard me sing on the

podcast you've been listening for a while, but it's not like

I'm a I'm an opera singer. I'm a professional singer by any

means. I just love to sing. I grew up singing in choirs. I

sang in musicals in high school and in my 20s, and me and my mom

and dad, we all love to sing, because we grew up a singing

family, and it was so cute when we were on safari, we were

singing The Lion King. And then that night, it was our last

night at this place called the river camp. We stayed on, oh my

god, you guys like I could talk about I should do a whole

episode on that trip that we stayed at a place called the

river camp on a conservation called Old pajeta, which I've

been to many times because it's close to the ulapengi, and it is

beautiful. And there are so many animals there, and our

conservation had like elephants and giraffes, like coming up to

the watering hole right by our tents, like we stayed on the in

these glamping tents. And it was just like a really profound

experience. And the last night that every night, they had a

bonfire, and you could sit and have cocktails or mocktails

around the bonfire before dinner and after dinner, and so after

dinner, we went. Sat around the bonfire with my parents and

John, our safari driver, whose family, and we sang, and John

didn't sing. I don't know if he knew the songs, but he recorded

us, and we just sang. And we were singing like Simon and

Garfunkel and and there was a campfire, and there were like

these crazy bright stars. It was a full moon. It was the last

full moon in leo, oh, and I was just tears in my eyes, like, how

is this real life? And I just, I feel God, I feel emotional, even

thinking about how many people's lives are just being on social

media and just watching Netflix and wishing their life was

different, and just taking antidepressants and anti anxiety

medication and living in a box and not being outside enough,

and not having meaningful community, not moving their

bodies enough, not singing enough, not dancing enough, not

playing enough, not exploring or adventuring like We are souls

having a human experience, and if actually, it reminds me of

Chris durkee's episode. We talked about the three aspects

of self, the human self, the soul self, which is your your

unique essence, and what lights you up, what brings you

pleasure, What? What? What is the essence of who you are when

you're in alignment, and then your spirit self, which is our

interconnectedness and divinity, which we sure feel in Kenya. My

parents and I connected with I talk about Uber drivers a lot on

the podcast, but we made friends with every Uber driver. Found

out where they're what tribe they were from. There's 44

tribes in Kenya. We start. I start. I'm now able to guess

certain tribes, because there's certain frequency that people

have when they're from certain tribes. It's so much fun. But

like, we're one here, you know, we don't feel separate from

anybody. We're not like, Oh, you're serving us, or you're the

person that works at the gas station, or you're the you're

the farmer in the field, like we are present and connecting with

everyone the world is starving for this. That is our

spirituality. That's our divinity. We are all one. We

come from the same source. We're going back to the same source.

We're connected to the same source, or we're disconnected,

right? But you've got your spirit self, your soul self,

which is your unique essence, and your human self. The human

self without the other two, is misery. Your human self is your

nervous system, your feelings, your ability to feel, what feels

good, what feels bad, pleasure and pain, your ability to sense

intuition, I'd say that's also connected to divinity though.

Your intuition, your human self is your ability to taste food,

your sensuality, your ability to experience life and the beauty

and the richness that this world has to offer us, but so many

people are robbing themselves. It's not your fault. But again,

we've been brainwashed to be so disconnected from the truth of

who we who we are, even our divinity, like religion itself,

so many religions have separated people from their own divinity,

telling us that there's something outside of us. We must

worship, we must be really good girls in order to get to some

great place on the other side, which you know personally, I

think, though, they've taken something that's so sacred and

they've turned it into a form of control to keep people separate

from their magic, from what's possible. So much more is

possible. And so, you know, when it comes to love, I think of all

the women who are in fantasy love, you know, who end up like

we had on Dr Nadine from she's the Wolf On Wall Street's ex

wife, who is who Margot Robbie played in the movie. She was on

the new truth, if you haven't heard it, I think it was like

two years ago, because Catherine was still on and that episode

was so powerful. And I think, like, you know her message every

time I see her on Instagram, she constantly uses the movie to

teach women about narcissism and about toxic relational dynamics.

Well, no one ends up in a relationship with the narcissist

unless they're completely in fantasy, right? Like you're

falling for the fantasy of the idea of the thing and all the

things someone is saying, versus who they're being and how you're

feeling, right? Right? So you have the fantasy life, the idea

of the thing. How many times have you been so excited about

something, and then you go on that holiday, or you get that

new dress, or you get the guy or whatever, and you feel excited

for five minutes or for an hour or whatever, and then you feel

anxious again, right? Wherever you go, there you are, because

we're so addicted in our culture to the fantasy of things and to

to to like, Oh, I'll feel better when right? I'll feel better

when I get that guy, when I get that job, when I move to that

place, I will feel better. Like, if I was in Vancouver dreaming

about living in Greece and being like, Okay, I'm moving to Greece

because I feel better in Greece. What I. Feel better. No, because

that would be an escape fantasy. But I did have a deep desire to

live somewhere in Europe, Mediterranean. I thought Italy,

maybe Greece. I always connected with these Mediterranean

cultures. I love the the pace. I love Spain. I love Portugal.

When I backpacked Europe at 21 they were imprinted in my body.

Actually, I backpacked at 20 correction, fact check, but

those places were imprinted in my body and my heart. And then

over the years, I saw movies in Italy and movies in Greece and

movies in Spain. And every time I would see a movie, I would

feel an activation in my heart, right? Okay, that's a desire,

but I didn't take that desire and say, Okay, I have to move

there and then I'm going to feel better. No, I just felt the

desire was like, Ooh, I'm going to live there one day. And I

just, like, owned it,

and I went about my life. And I kind of, like, went about my

life like a European, like, how can I create more slowness in

Vancouver? How can I create more European like, go into the cute

little coffee shop, or go into the cute little, you know, tapas

place. I used to go to this place, actually called Espana in

Vancouver, which is this, like, amazing, tiny, tiny hole in the

wall. Tapas place, Spanish tapas place. I go to the Greek

restaurants there. Go to Italian restaurants. I spent so much

time living kind of the European life in Vancouver to the most

that I could. And then I would come, of course, to Greece every

year for the immersion. And every time I was here, I would

stay longer. Okay, I say here I'm in Kenya right now, but

every time I was in Greece, I would stay longer and longer and

longer. And I just loved it so much. And I kept satiating and

creating a life that activated all those feelings. Right then,

I started taking dance classes. I started doing all the things

to activate what Greece activated. Okay, I'd go to

Greece, and I would feel sensual, I'd feel turned on, I'd

feel more present. I'd feel more joy and play and flirtation. So

how can I activate those things in my life? In Vancouver? And I

did that, and over time, what happened? Covid happened that

moment in time came where I couldn't get on an airplane to

Costa Rica for the winter from Greece. It was some covid rule,

some restriction, went to my friend's house, went to rebook

the flight, and sure enough, I rebooked my flight. But my

friend's like, why don't you move to Greece, Kate, you love

it here so much, and I needed that invitation. I'm a

projector. We're supposed to we thrive off invitations. And it's

I hadn't even thought of moving to Greece. I, like, loved

Europe. I think probably because my mind wouldn't have let me

what my mind would have been like, but how I'm not Greek, I'm

not European, like, how would I do that? So my mind would have

stopped me if I tried to make the fan, if I tried to control

the script, you see, so I didn't try and control it, I said yes.

In that moment, I booked a round trip ticket. I came back and I

had no clue how I was staying in Greece. People were like, how

are you staying there? Like, you don't have a visa. And I'm like,

I don't know. And a month in, somebody posted on a Facebook

group that there's a new visa called the digital nomad visa in

Greece, and that is how I stayed. And you know, I was the

perfect candidate. I've had two digital nomad visas. I'm

applying for my third one when I go back in the spring. And it

is, it just all worked out, right? Because it was desire,

not fantasy. So I hope you can feel it through that story.

Desire lives in your body, not your mind, right? Your mind is

like, pre determining, oh, okay, just had a really great dinner

with that guy. It must mean we're meant to get married and

have kids and live together and be together forever. Like, wait

what? This is a stranger. He could be a sociopath. Like, look

at the Wolf On Wall Street and her like she fell for that

because she was a fantasy love addict. She fell for it because

she got high off of this man praising her and complimenting

her and buying her gifts and making promises. And so even

when the promises were broken over and over and over and over

again, she was still hooked by the 30% of charm that he showed

up as right only the fantasy addict can get hooked by

narcissism. So because when you're really rooted in your

body, which clearly the new truth is all about that, it's

all about coming home and the expanded love method that I do

with my clients, getting to know your saboteur, which is your

conditioned self, no longer living from her and learning how

to wake up who you really are your heroine and become the

heroine and the leading lady of your own life. When you are

living from your heroine, you're living from desire, and desire

lives in your body in the present moment. So when you're

in your saboteur, and you're in the script and you're in the

fantasy you feel, you will feel pressure for what your life

looks like. You will have a story that you carry, that

you're not doing it right, that you're not on the timeline, that

you're not where you should be, right. What does that even mean

you're not where you should be? Like that is clearly somebody

else's rule that you have inherited as your own. And

here's the final. Anything over time, because this has been the

program that's been playing in your mind for so many years. I

mean, think about it. It's your life, minus, like, 10 years

you've been playing the fantasy story of what your life is

supposed to look like since you were like, 10 years old, maybe

younger. So of course you're gonna believe those thoughts,

right? Of course, you're going to believe those stories you

they have been running inside of you, and also everyone around

you is also playing out the same stories and and again, feeding

the script to you because they've been trained by it, and

challenging you every time you try and go your own way, is like

everyone is indoctrinated by the script, in the story of who

we've been taught to be, but if you're questioning what is and

where you are, you're in the script. If you think you're not

where you're supposed to be, you're in the script. Even if

you've been following the script, life is leading you, and

the more you can learn to live this is why I do what I do. I

mean it is a fucking liberation when women break free from that

script, untether from all of the endless stories that they've

been believing about themselves in life and relationships, and

start to live from the truth of their own soul, it is the most

liberating, freeing thing. And then you get to start to

experience that juicy, amazing, magical, adventurous life that

is meant for you. There is so much available to you. There is

so much here on planet Earth for you to experience. Like I said

with my parents, you know, we're having these extraordinary

adventures together. And if I was in fear and oh, I shouldn't

move to Greece. I don't how would I do that? I can't do

that. I don't have a visa. How would I move to Kenya? That's

crazy. Why would I move to Africa when, just because my

body feels turned on and lit up when I talk about it? That's

insane. Like, why would I do that? If I stopped myself from

doing these things, my parents wouldn't have had all of these

extraordinary adventures with me and with each other, and with,

you know, the three of us, and with all of the Greek people,

they've fallen in love with all of the Kenyan people. They've

fallen in love with all the animals they've fallen in love

with, and the swimming and the magic and the wild stories that

we have and the experiences that they're having. That's all

because I followed my heart, right? I didn't sacrifice myself

thinking, oh no, can't leave my family behind. They're gonna be

hurt. It's like I'm a much better version of me over here

than I am in Vancouver, like if I was still living in Vancouver,

not living this expanded life. I mean, I don't even think they

liked me before. I was anxious all the time. I was, like, tired

and stressed out and overwhelmed and, you know, wanting to be

rescued like they I don't even think they enjoyed me. They

didn't know me. I didn't know me. So that's the beauty of

following your own heart and getting to know and explore

every corner of your desire. So many women I work with are like

Kate, I don't even know what I desire. Honestly, I feel like

dead inside. First of all, if you're on antidepressants or

anti anxiety medication and you can't feel your desire or your

pleasure, that's probably having an impact. I'm not a doctor,

obviously, you speak to your doctor about that, but a lot of

women who go on the journey of getting to know their own souls

that event, they eventually go off them, because it's it's

something that just completely numbs all of your feelings,

including your pleasure, so that can have a fact a factor for

sure, but it also if you're not connected to your body, right if

you are not spending time in meditation, having massages,

moving slowly, taking dance classes, doing movement in your

living room, singing in breath work, doing practices that

actually connect You with your body and instead of your mind,

because most of us live primarily in the mind, most

humans, I'd say, well, most people in the Western world. But

the more home and connected you are to your sensory experience,

your senses and your body, the more you'll be able to feel what

you desire and let it be so for all the women who are listening,

who have that thought, I don't know what I desire. I feel dead

inside. I can't feel my desire. I'm not in touch with it

anymore. If that's how you feel, I invite you to look through a

different lens. A miracle is a shift in perspective. That's a

line from A Course in Miracles. A miracle is a shift in

perspective. Another way to look at it is, how exciting. Oh my

gosh. Okay, I'm done with fantasy. I'm done with trying to

control my life and my path, because all that gives me is a

fuck ton of anxiety. And never, ever, ever do I get the feeling

that I desire to feel. I might get the results. I might get the

guy. I might get the weight loss. I might get the corner

office. I might get the thing, but I don't ever get to feel how

I want to feel, because the fantasy and the script is

bullshit. So if you are ready to burn that script and to start

getting to know your own desire, lean into being new at it. Let

yourself be new. Lean into feeling curious and excited that

you get to go on this treasure hunt of exploring the corners of

you, of exploring what does light you up? I have a heroine,

Sister I'm working with. I think I maybe talked about her on the

podcast already, but she is so amazing. She had this curiosity

about horses. Never in her life had she done anything with

horses. She had this curiosity like

and she started going to riding lessons. But it wasn't just

riding lessons, it was equine therapy, so which is very

aligned with this work, because horses respond to human energy.

So it's if you're around a horse, those horse people know,

the horses will respond to you and ride well with you and be

calm around you when you're calm, when you're grounded, when

you're present. But if you're anxious and you're nervous and

you're in fear, they'll also react to that. So they are a

direct reflection, as humans, are a direct reflection of where

you're coming from within yourself and how rooted you are

in your body and in yourself. Anyways. Sidebar, so she had

this experience with horses, and now she's in love with horses,

and will probably I see her future being something to do

with horses. She's like, discovered this new love affair

where it's just like this, this feeling that has activated her

heart so deeply that she could have never pre determined or,

you know, imagined, and now she's getting to have this

unbelievable experience of growing into this new part of

herself. So that's the thing with desire, is there's so much

available and so many things on planet earth that you've yet to

experience, that you've yet to play with. And you know, as

adults, unfortunately, most adult saboteurs have this little

restriction that's like, can't be new at anything. Must be

perfect. Why? Because we grew up in the punishment system at

school, and we were taught, you know, if we're not perfect,

we're we're in trouble. Basically, we're in trouble.

We're stupid, we get bad grades, we get publicly shamed. So

there's going to be a part of you that's not going to want to

be new, right? So lean into that too. Lean into the awkwardness,

lean into the the embarrassment, lean into the the tripping over

your feet trying to learn how to dance and let yourself have fun

with that, right? If you're three years old, you wouldn't

give a fuck. You go to dance class. Go watch a bunch of three

year olds in ballet. There might be two or three of them who are

following the teacher and everyone else is doing their own

thing. Go to a dance class and do that. Remember who you are,

because that's who you were when you were little. Little kids are

constantly following their desires. That's all they do is

like, Oh, this desire, ooh, this desire. Oh, this desire. Oh,

this this feels good. Oh, this also feels good. And then they

feel their feelings, if their sadness or rage or frustration,

they let it out, and they come back to their pleasure. They

come back to their desire. They come back to the treasure hunt

of what is the thing that lights me up right now? So let it be

fun, right? When you're in desire, you're feeling, you're

not thinking. So it's not a it's your desire is not like, Okay, I

desire this thing now. I have to have it, and it's got to look

like this. There's no story attached. It's a feeling. It's

in the present moment. You can keep feeding that feeling. You

can keep doing that thing that lights up and activates that

part of you, but where it's going to take you, that's the

part you're not going to know. And you don't need to know. You

don't need to know if you join, you know, musical theater class,

if you're going to end up on Broadway, or if you're just

going to end up in an amateur show that lights your soul on

fire, or you just end up in theater class and that takes you

to, you know, clown school, like you have no idea where you're

gonna go, but that's the thing you don't need to know. Nor do

you want to know how bored. What boring would life be if we knew

everything that was coming? Right? What actually keeps our

souls alive is the unexpected. It's the unknown. It's it's not

knowing what's coming, and the reason we constantly want to

predetermine what's coming. A, because we've been taught to but

B because we're afraid that good things won't happen if we don't

control it. But here's the thing, you miss the good things

when you're controlling it. You cannot experience the things

that you're meant to experience when you're controlling where

you're going, like, it's such an it's it's counterintuitive, but

like, the control is the very thing that robs you from the

experience your soul is meant to have. So even though it seems

scary to just trust life is like, all you have to do is

follow your desire moment to move. Moment. Listen to your

body, listen to your heart, listen to your soul. Listen if

this is all, nothing makes sense to you and you cannot apply any

of this, reach out to me, because it's time for you to

have some support to learn how to access these parts of

yourself, because they are waiting for you. There is a

heroine inside of you who is waiting for you. She's waiting.

She's ready. She's ready to be activated by life. She's ready

to feel alive. She's ready to lead you into a life that

actually feels satiating for you, not for everybody else,

because it's your life. So when you're in your heroine, when

you're following desire, it should feel easy, not pressure.

It feels easeful. You're feeling versus thinking, and you're

surrendered and trusting the divine orchestration of where

you're going. You're just experiencing this moment. So

when I came to Kenya the first time, and I stayed for two

weeks, I had the feeling day two, crying, oh my god, I think

I want to live here. I was so in love with the people with the

place, with the feeling in my body. And then I forgot I even

said that I enjoyed the two weeks. And then Marianna and I

got home, and we were like, Okay, let's book another

retreat, because we had a bunch of women reach out saying, Kate,

I want to come to Kenya with you. So we booked another one

for November. And in between February and November, I got

invited to do the artist in residence program, and I love it

so much. Here. I was like, of course, I'm going to do that.

I've, you know, have an online business that I can work from

anywhere. Of course, I'm going to do the artist in residence

program. So I signed up for that. And originally it was

supposed to be six weeks, ended up being 12 weeks living in a

tent on a farm, on an organic farm in the foothills of Mount

Kenya. And was the most extraordinary experience. But

still, I didn't know I was going to live here. I was just like,

and the first time I came, I didn't know I was going to come

for 12 weeks, plus the retreats. And then, you know, went back,

did the immersion, was back in Greece, and then I got an invite

during the week of the immersion last year, got an invite for

Elizabeth and kiers wedding, the owners of Ola pangi. And I was

like, felt something in my body, and I said to a few of the

heroines at the immersion, I just got invited to a wedding at

the farm, and I was going to do the artist in residence program

again at Christmas. So I thought maybe I'll just move there for

six months. And they just came to me in that moment. And sure

enough, I did. And now I'm just like, I just love it, and I just

have a cottage in Nairobi now, and let's see. And it's, it's

indefinite, but again, like, I don't know how long I'm going to

be here, why I'm here, what's the deeper purpose, if I'm going

to keep going deeper and deeper and deeper into Kenya, or if I'm

going to go to other countries, I have no idea that is the magic

of life, and same as possible for you, my loves, so desires in

your body. It's a feeling, it's an activation. You'll feel it in

your heart. You'll feel it in your yoni. You'll feel it in

your cells. When something is aligned, it will light you up,

and then often there will be fear, as you know, your mind

will tell you, No, you can't do that. No, you're not smart

enough, you're not good enough, you're not this enough, you're

not that enough. You put her on pause. You think, say thank you

for your opinion. Thank you for trying to protect me. I don't

need your services today. And you come back to following that

desire in the moment and let life take care of the rest.

Surrender to life, because life has so much in store for you. I

know I've said that three times on this episode, but hey, it's

true. It's true. And I I know that so many women don't believe

it, and so they work on overtime and exhaustion, burning

themselves out, trying to force everything to happen, trying to

control their timeline, trying to control what their life looks

like, thinking that there's some, some thing they're going

to get from that. And the reality is, you're not going to

get anything other than an insecure girl being a mom, being

a wife, being a CEO, whatever, like all of these you're going

to take on all these roles, get all of these things, and it's

going to be the Wounded Little girl who's at the helm of it

all. And nothing's ever going to be enough. And you're going to

continue to perpetuate anxiety, depression, you know,

frustration, overwhelm, exhaustion. It's a long life

when you follow the script my loves. So unleash your desire,

let it, let it show you the way. Let it be a treasure hunt, and

follow that treasure and watch your life change. I love you.

Share this episode with every woman you know who needs to hear

this message. I think it's a really important one, because so

many people are trapped by the fantasy script, and it's time

that we liberate women to come home to themselves and their own

desires, because life gets to be magical. All my love. See you

next week.