Nov. 2, 2022

What To Do Now To Prepare Your Children For The Career & Life Tango In Their Future with Guest Kinia Romanowska

What To Do Now To Prepare Your Children For The Career & Life Tango In Their Future with Guest Kinia Romanowska

As a woman so many of us have gone into our careers and passions with 3 false ideas:

1.    What leadership is

2.    What success is

3.    That there is a “balance” between life and career that can be achieved and stabilized.

All 3 of these ideals can act as an inevitable emotional cliff that if we were to prepare sooner, we could have been better suited for. Find out in this conversation the tops 3 things you can do NOW to help your children prepare realistically and enthusiastically for their future!

About the Guest:

My team and I help highly educated moms, who have careers in male-dominated, demanding, high-stress/high-burnout/high-attrition, or competitive fields:

redefine their career-minded mom identity design a strategic personal brand and back-to-work/career plan after kids

* Create a work-life balance that doesn’t leave them constantly overwhelmed, feeling lonely, misunderstood, stressed, torn, and too tired for romance, and uplevel their working mom mindset so that they have more time for themselves, their kids, and partner intimacy – all while getting that next promotion or raise, feeling attractive for their partner (and self!), and feeling empowered to make financial choices that are aligned with their new values as a parent AND working woman.

We also create custom workshops that help corporations cut the costs of losing parent talent and enhance their retention practices by:

· Making retention of parent talent an integrative part of their diversity and inclusion strategy, removing confusion, resentment, and inequity around parental leave transitions

· Designing actionable, maternity and parental leave resources that reduce manager overwhelm and increase employee performance during those transitions

· Designing tools and programs to help their parent employees return to work confident and ready for action after a parental leave

I love to network and provide immediate support to parents who need an action plan.

Contact me directly




📓 Sign up for an upcoming workshop to meet other ambitious moms and parents seeking working life integration AND career advancement:


About the Host:

Nellie Harden is a wife of 20+ years, mom to 4 teen/tween daughters, dreamer, adventurer, servant, multipreneur, forever student, and a devoted teacher, but her career passion is her work as a Family Life & Leadership Coaching, especially for parents of young women ages 9-18yo. 

Coming from a career background in marine mammal sciences, behavioral work, and a host of big life experiences, both great and some not-so-great, she decided that designing a life of purpose and freedom was how she and her husband, along with their 4 daughters, wanted to live. 

Her work and passions exist in the realms of family and parent mentorship because she believes that a family filled with creativity, fun, laughter, challenge, adventure, problem-solving, hugs, good food, and learning can not only change a person’s life but is the best chance at positively changing the world. 

She helps parents eliminate power struggles so they can focus on building their daughter’s confidence, wisdom, and respect as young women before they ever leave home.

With a lifelong passion and curiosity in thought, choice, behavior, and growth she has found incredible joy in helping families shift perspective, and find answers, and a path forward.


(Nellie has been coaching families for over 10 years and has degrees in Biology, Animal Behavior, and Psychology. ) 




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Nellie Harden:

Hello and welcome to the 6570 family project podcast. If you are a parent of a tween teen or somewhere on the way, this is exactly the place for you. This is the playground for parents who want to raise their kids with intention, strength and joy. Come and hear all the discussions, get all the tactics and have lots of laughs along the way. We will dive into the real challenges and raising kids today how to show up as parents and teach your kids how to show up as members of the family and individuals of the world. My name is Nellie Harden, big city girl turned small towns sipping iced tea on the front porch mama who loves igniting transformation in the hearts and minds of families by helping them build self love, discipline and leadership that elevate the family experience. And set the kids up with a rock solid foundation they can launch their life on all before they ever leave home. This is the 6570 family project. Let's go Hello, and welcome to another episode of the 6570 family project podcast where we are putting aside the power struggles and really finding the path that leads our young women toward the confidence, respect and wisdom that they need to prepare them for the world out there. We are helping them through their adulthood education right? You guys I have such a special guest on today. Her name is Kinia Romanowska. And she is so special. She comes to us from Canada. And she helps a highly educated moms who have careers and male dominated very demanding high stress high burnout, competitive fields, but she is helping them redefine their career minded mom identity and design strategic personal brand and back to work career plans with their kids. But what we're talking about with her today is how the mindsets, the core beliefs, the core values of our young girls are being developed during the second half of childhood by what they are witnessing with their moms. When it comes to how to have that motherhood, life work career balance, which we all know is a falsity it's not really a balance, it's more like a tango is Kenya puts it which I love. And if we can get them to understand that a little bit more now in their second half of childhood with through what you are experiencing, then we can set them up for better success in the future. Because they will know they will know some days are harder than others sometimes you have to make really hard decisions. And sometimes it is well not sometimes it is never 5050 Right? It is never I am a mother and have my life balance 50% of the time and half of my work balance another 50 It is not the way it works yet so many feel that that is the way they quote unquote should feel going into a career later on. So the more we can pull out, we can prepare them. Now the better off they will be later. And we have some very key principles that we're going to talk about in this conversation that I cannot wait for you to hear. So if you are not driving, be sure to get out a piece of paper or the notes section of your phone to write down some of these key principles in how to prepare as how to as a parent, prepare our young women, our kids for what they are going to experience later on with their own work life tango. Alright, let's go ahead and get started. Okay, so now we are here and I am so glad that you are on the podcast. Thank you for coming and talking with us today.

Kinia Romanowska:

Thank you for having me. It's cloudy where I am today. So I hope that you've got more sunshine than I do. You got a tease of summer and now back.

Nellie Harden:

And where in the world tell our listeners where in the world you are.

Kinia Romanowska:

I'm in Canada in Edmonton and the province of Alberta. So in Western Canada and a few hours away from either beautiful mountains whereas where I am there are no mountains but I'm close to them.

Nellie Harden:

You can get there you can get there. Yes. And I am down on the east coast of the United States and it is a beautiful, warm day today. So we do have some sunshine. I was having breakfast out on the porch this morning. So okay, well we have a big topic to cover today. Because I think so much of what we do in our work and in our life And we're trying to trying to balance but it's never quite balanced. But we're trying to make sure that they're even right that we're, that was a big week for work. So you know, we try to have a big bolus, if you will, of life here and there. Right. And that is your specialty. So before we really get into more, I want our listeners to know how you came to do what you do and kind of your story in getting here and an expert in this field.

Kinia Romanowska:

Yes, thank you for that question. When I was pregnant with my first son, I had read Sheryl Sandberg lean in. And so you, you're probably familiar with that, right? She encourages women not to leave before they leave. So just when I was three months pregnant, I was offered a promotion. And they had to decide whether I would disclose my pregnancy or that I would take the promotion knowing that I was going on maternity leave. And I wanted to know to if this new job would be compatible with my new life as a mother, right. So I grilled my new manager on what that would look like whether I could find work life integration, balance, however you call it. And at the same time, I was volunteering for women and leadership organizations. And I noticed that we were never talking about motherhood, that all the events that we were hosting, were exactly what moms need to be with their kids and put them to bed, right, those snuggle times those nursing hours, and I noticed a gap. So I ended up taking the promotion, I leaned in to the Sheryl Sandberg thing, I had my bump. And I thought I need to do something about that. And that's when I reserved frozen We had the kind of the from the mouth of babes in my mind. And when my son was born, and I somewhat settled into the strange world of new motherhood, at 4am, one morning when he was sleeping, and I wasn't I typed up this curriculum that would include motherhood and career discussions. And it was you know, we'd meet at a cafe with moms for an eight week period, I took my background as an invest investigative journalist to really dig up facts and information. And I started uncovering all these questions that women had, about, you know, emotional labor and making choices about going back to work and how to have discussions with your partner, and how to be a good working mom and how just to figure it out, I'd have women with these amazing careers holding their babies and be like, how could I ever help anybody take care of my child, right? And so they go through this huge emotional roller coaster. So it was it was this gut intuition. And this observation that we did not talk about motherhood and women leadership circles, which was such a trendy topic when I was growing up, right, this women leadership thing, it was the be all and end all. And we're all supposed to aim for leadership and breaking the glass ceilings. But we never talked about motherhood. And so one thing led to another, it's a longer story. It's a five year story, but prose and they've started taking more and more time in my life until it finally took over as my main occupation. Where I work with women really long term, we address every single pillar of their life to create that elusive work life, flow work life integration, work life balancing, somehow, nobody really chooses the word balance because it feels like an unattainable myth that, as you mentioned, 5050. But that's not how life is. And so choosing the right word, and then digging deeper into what does it mean for you to have integration, or flow or ease or tango, and the different seasons of your life, as you're building I love I love your you know the name of your project, I speak of the same. I speak slightly in the same language in our community, we talked about the number of hours, so I think in 25 years or something like 160,000 hours, please correct me my math, but you do the same thing, saying there's a number of days you have with your children. So be intentional about how you budget and spend that time, right. So we we zoom back, we look at that package of hours, and we kind of budget in the same way, our time as we would do money and think are you spending your time in alignment with your values. And so that piece of work life balance is one of those pillars that we explore. And we get very clear on what that can mean for you.

Nellie Harden:

Wow. And I. So where those ideas come from somewhere, right? And so much of our ideas, I know me as a woman now, mother of four, I'm in my 40s Right. And I had a certain idea of what motherhood could look like and all of those ideas that we have come from that first 18 years that we have right that those first our own childhood, mostly influenced by our our own moms, right our own upbringing, and that could go one way or another. It is it definitely needs to be this way or a different I definitely don't want it to be this way, right? Just depending on whatever your life circumstance is, or picking and choosing different things. But my point is that when We have these ideals of what motherhood and career and this work like, you know, this, this fairy tale of work life balance looks like, because of what was preset into us. And so I really believe that the more we know, the better we can do, the more we are prepared for something, you know, the less things that can jump out of the closet and scare us, you know, I always talk about no comparison. You know, if you understand and know that comparison and scarcity and shame and guilt, all these things are going to be a part of your story, you're gonna be like, I recognize you, I see you, and they can't jump out and scare you anymore, and, you know, hit you broadside. And so understanding a little bit more about this Tango or integration, like you call it, which I love that AI is really important to our young women, as they are going into life and career too. And if if we know that we know that they learn it. And that set into the foundation of their core beliefs, their core understandings and perspectives when they are young, we have an opportunity, responsibility obligation, to be able to tell them a little bit more about this and not leave them in the dark, not leave our young women in the dark, to go off into their life and career and think that everything is hunky dory, the scales meet exactly at 5050. And this is how it is because that's not reality. And so the more we can set them up for success means the more that we can share with them and and tell them now, and when they're especially in the second, you know, section of childhood in the first section of childhood, they don't need to, you know, necessarily know, the the ins and outs, they're just more concerned of in my head and my you know, safe and my secure. But the second half of childhood, when they are preparing for adulthood, we can share a little bit more with them. And so, in your work, you cover more of a holistic approach, which has to be true. And I love that you do that because work and life are holistic, it isn't just these little boxes that we can open and be like, oh, there's my family box. This is my, you know, my work box, and then I closed them and they are done. Everything stays with us all the time. So can you explain a little bit more about how you work holistically what different areas you work in, and how they how that can be then shown and show up in our relationship with our daughters.

Kinia Romanowska:

Yes, such good questions. And when you are talking about where those ideas come from, I intentionally mentioned the Lena and currents when I was talking with you, because it influenced me at very important moments of very important choices. So and it made me think to have my own mom who was an international trader, I was born in a communist country, my parents fled, right, and we came to Canada, I'm an only child, my husband is from a family of five. So we're having, you know, when we're, it creates very different family dynamics, right. And so we are working on intentionally bringing the best from both. But to go back to your question. It's so important that we prepare our young women. In fact, I have a few young graduates sometimes joining my webinars and thinking, Oh, this is too early for me, I don't have kids yet. And I see no stay, you actually need to be thinking about this before you have kids, because it's going to impact you so greatly. So you were asking about what are the different domains that we work on? Number one, we zoom back, and you probably do this too, in some form. We look back and we visualize in 25 years, what are your kids going to say about you as a working mom? And how are we going to feel in your body? And what you know, how are you looking at your partner? If that's the case for you? Right? If that's that's your situation, how much money is in your bank account? And I asked many questions to really visualize that moment, almost like a graduation of your family life, right and your career through the lens of your children. What would you love your children to have learned from you as a working mother, if you're making the choice to have a career outside of the home and also be a mom? What are the values that will have driven your choices? So that is kind of the that is the starting point. And we take a step back and designed it's 12 pillars more or less the as I get to know my clients, we also adjust the content to meet them where they are. But the fundamental ones that have the biggest impact are first of all mindset, right? How how do you think about being a working mum? Where did the ideas come from? And then what do you want those ideas to be? So you've internalized some things but where are you going to keep what are you going to leave? And that's a process it doesn't happen overnight. So we look at that mindset what why Why do you like working in the first place? What are your kids learning from you watching you as a working mom? Right? What values transpire? What kind of impact are you making in the world? A question I love to ask. And I work with many scientists, engineers who are solving enormous problems for the world. And often, they're the only woman in the room and they say, I'm so lucky that you were at the table doing this hard work, because you are bringing a different lens to the energy industry, you are going to solve problems for our children. So if your child could be proud that you solved one problem to make the world a better place, what is the problem that you would solve? Right? So that gives you a sense of purpose and impact? Because let's not sugarcoat it, as much as we're told to have a career and have it all and be like, guys, once you're that only woman, and a room full of men, and you have to try to be yourself, and maybe you're hiding a pregnancy, it's not so glamorous anymore. It's not so yay, I leaned in Yeah, I'm a leader. No, it's like, My anxiety is through the roof. I'm pregnant, I don't want to disclose it, because I'm gonna get taken off the project. Right. That's not what we were dreaming of. So, you know, so the mindset piece I dove into the granularity of it is reclaiming why you're working, what impact you want to make, you're certainly making sacrifices, you're spending time at work, we're often you'd like to be with your children, that's let's, that happens a lot. Even for the women who love their careers the most, many times they would prefer to be home with their child, when they're at home with their child, they're thinking about that project that needs their attention. So it's a difficult place to be. And you really have to be so clear as to why you're doing this and how it's going to look in the different seasons of life, right. And we dive really deep. We look at the golden years, we look at what your children need, when they're young, what they're going to need from you, when they're teens, caregiver duties for elderly women also take more care of the elderly. So you know, you have to factor all of that in. So there's mindset, then there's relationships, when you especially with your partner, when you become a mother, your relationship changes, right, you don't feel the same way you have to win if the if there are no strategic conversations about caring for the home and caring for the child, there's maternal gatekeeping, where women will often prevent their partners from doing anything with a baby, right? So we're not all innocent victims here. But you have to think about what matters in your relationship with your partner and how you're going to parent together and how you're going to preserve that intimacy. There's support systems, there's finances, and career tools. So those are, you know, four or five of the most critical ones, we will also look at health, we look at family life, we look at parenting, we look at leadership skills, and diversity and inclusion, right and, and we started looking at also spirituality and how you want to fill in this whole process. But the first four that I mentioned, I'm going to repeat them are kind of the foundational ones that really you need to reflect on. Otherwise, you're just going to live life by autopilot, if you don't think about all the factors that influence you as a working mom, mindset, relationships, support systems, career skills, and finances, I often bring them together, right, because we talk about negotiation and how to be fairly compensated for your work. So they're Pivotal, and in terms of how you're going to succeed as as a working parent.

Nellie Harden:

And right there too, especially with finances, that has so much to do with worth and contribution that you feel as a woman in seeing your, your child being able to see that you feel as a parent, as a mom, that you feel that worth in contribution in whatever capacity, it might be philanthropic, it might not be even money coming in. But that worth and contribution piece is huge. And when you're a child and you see your mom, not feeling like she has worth or contribution that plays a long lasting effect on your own life. And so our kids really are mirrors of our own behavior, right? They do as we do, not what we say so much of the time. And so that's why it's so important to be vulnerable, open honest with your kids so that they can prepare for life too. I mean, they aren't going to just be your little kids forever. We are raising adults. And so what are some things in our life as a mom, what are some things that we can do to teach them how to relate to people how to work in difficult situations? And I asked this because I have you know, I have a daughter who has a job now, I have two more daughters that are planning on getting a job within the year and especially those You know, early jobs, they don't always, you know, they aren't career jobs. And let's be honest, they're not career jobs, but they do set you up with some of those intrinsic and interpersonal skills in order to deal with people deal with customer service, you know, deal in a team atmosphere and things like that. So what are some things as a parent that you think that you can do in order to set up a good, a good mirror that your child can see, so that they can be raised up with a strong attitude about what to do in the workplace, and how to stay themselves, stay honest to themselves, but also have a fulfilling career that's unique to them?

Kinia Romanowska:

I love the question, too. I think I could talk about this for hours. But I will start with the values piece that is my current definition of success, I would say this, I have my values board. My three core values are faith, love and accountability. They have been challenged. But I would say that in general, I go back to them, it's the lens through which I make most of my decisions. And when I make mistakes, I go back to them as well. Have I been? Am I being faithful? Am I being accountable, am I being loving, and giving them the confidence to be anchored in their values? I personally believe that, that faith and I know that you too. It is such an important piece. So that relationship with God, that relationship with Christ, that's, that's that's what I'm trying to set with my husband that no matter what, even when we're not there, we want to model that this is something that we really value in our family, no matter how messy things are, we go back to some of our our core TV shows that are faith related, you know, reading the story Bible with our kids in the evening, so that they have that personal relationship. And that has been strengthened for me, and the last year or so because I had so much death in my family truly. And I also pushed really hard in my business. Now I look back and I can take stock of what I was doing. But when my father passed away really suddenly, and you know, as an only child, I mean, I was like, really there'll be all and end all right. So he was so proud of everything I always did. And when my my father died, of course, I don't want to just sit and cry and miss him, right? I just doubled down on my efforts and my business and I pushed through, and only now am I giving myself more space to like grieve and Miss am and creating that spaciousness. But I realized a through the challenges of losing my father and a few other family members in a really short period of time. And pushing through in my business, I realized that humans are truly fallible, and no matter I trusted a lot of humans, and my trust was broken many times. And so that reinforced even for me the importance of faith and having a direct relationship through my faith with God. And I want to give that foundation to my kids, because they're going to face ups and downs, humans are going to fail them, they're going to face darkness and joy. And sometimes there's no answer. And I want them to have that inner strength to know that they are never alone with those challenges, no matter how deserted they might feel, no matter how fallible mom and dad might be sometimes, right? Who knows what's gonna happen to us. So I feel like if I equip them with that foundation of faith, love and accountability, those are critical faith pieces, mindset pieces, and a definition of success. That's not just anchored in performance. But being a good human on this earth. I think I was taught I grew up, I grew up in a very secular society, first of all, so I was taught to really separate religion from anything else. So I made those choices as an adult consciously. And, and I was also really rewarded for my intellectual performance. And a lot of my sense of worth came from being a fantastic studor FF student, a fantastic community member, but I didn't really rely on my own dignity and worth as a human, really, which is kind of our birthright. So now I'm learning from all of that. And when it's whether it's boys or girls, where can you help them anchor in strength and something that they can rely on, that they can feel they're part of something bigger, whether you believe in God, whether you're Christian, or you have another religion, or you consider yourself more spiritual, we're not part of a vacuum, we live in relationship to others. So whether you're going to face a conflict at work, whether you're going to be challenged, at least they're going to have that framework of inspiration, and faith and core values. And I will tell them, You know what, you can define success by everyday You've been a good human based on those core values. And that makes for a beautiful life, whether you have a lot of money or little money, whether however you are whatever your title is, have you been a good human? Have you responded in accordance with your values? Have you been consistent and steadfast? That I think is how we can equip our children, because the world they're going to be in, you know, even in 10 years, it's going to be so different. It's going to be different technology, different jobs. But those values have served humans for centuries. And they have been proven and they have been tested. So can we give them that strong inner architecture foundation to succeed no matter what life throws your way?

Nellie Harden:

Oh, my gosh, yes, yes. Yes. Like if I could stand up and clap right now what? And so we're very in line with what we do. It's just different topics that we cover in our in our coaching and how we help families. But yes, so I really deal with mindset cycles. And that was, that's the first pillar of self discipline leadership, which is what I teach parents to help their young women leave home with, right. So their confidence, they have wisdom, they have respect, and values is a huge part of that, first, that first section that we cover on vision, you know, what core beliefs do you have? What do you have coming in from your childhood that you want to leave at the door? What do you want to take with you? What's some new stuff that you want to bring in? And then when it comes to core values, we go around for the entire family. And, you know, your values really are your boundaries, you know, I say, if you're in the middle of a, you know, African desert in the middle of the night, do you just want to lay down and see what happens? No, probably not, you want to have some good solid boundaries around you. So having three to four, no more than four, but three to four, that can enclose you and protect you in those boundaries, and then anything that comes to you has to pass through those boundaries. So I love you know, your faith, love and accountability. And that that is beautiful. Mine our faith, integrity and wisdom. And so those are my walls that surround me all the time. And if something is going to be close enough to me to enter into my life, they have to pass through those filters. And, but my kids have different ones. And so I love that we can keep each other accountable within our family for those. And then our family as a whole has a couple of them as well. And so understanding everyone's unique nature, understanding accountability to those and then having a team for for me and my work, that is what we do. But I love, love, love. That that's the way that you define success. Because leadership, which so many women hear that so many people hear that, you know, all the time going into careers, leadership, training, leadership, success, leadership, and it's become this, you are a leader, if you have people you could boss around, you have a white collar and you're making a certain amount of money. And that is not true at all of what a leader really is. First, you have to be a leader of yourself so that you can actually lead others. And success is determined by your values. So we are completely in line with that. So I love that you said that, in this in this context with working with moms in their careers and having them work through all of these different life pieces of the puzzle pieces. Okay, so representing ourselves, I think we covered that with values, right? What about finding a good fit for what they are going to do for the rest of their life, there's a lot of pressure out there for young, young women, young men to perform, get the grades to get the college to get the career, right. But then so many of them get there. And especially if they have sports scholarships, or they get into a career, and they're like, I've just been chasing this for so long, but I don't actually even like it. Right. And so as a parent that might be going through that or just setting our kids up to actually find where their passions lie, because that's where our most success is going to be anyway. What are some things that we can do, you know, in order to help our our children, find their passions, and then go toward their success through there?

Kinia Romanowska:

Yeah, that is, that is a tough question. And I don't have an easy answer for that, especially as having been brought up in a different country and also being in the entrepreneurial world. My viewpoint on what actually gives you a solid skill set to succeed in an ever changing world does evolve. But I would like to give a couple of pointers. Number one, I think, I don't think it's a bad thing to have hopes for our children in terms of where we would like to see them and in their career so early on. I think we can use language to reflect curiosity and and use a very broad language in terms of professions that are available. Right? I remember doing career planning at school, and it was just a few boxes. I don't know, doctors, psychologists that. But biologists but there are so many more titles in the world. And so using broader language and exposing them to mentorship opportunities is something that we can do. Number two, helping them to be creative problem solvers from a young age. Ultimately, we get paid to solve problems. That's, that's why we're hired also, as business owners, or employers will hire you to solve a problem, generally speaking, right? They will spend their money to employ you. So teach them to problem solve, teach them to notice problems in the world and think of solutions. And I remember listening to an entrepreneurial summit with two mothers and they talked about cultivating that entrepreneurial mindset from a young age by asking kids to, to solve problems, if they come to you with a with an issue, ask questions and say, Okay, what are your options? How do you propose, propose we would solve it? What are the pros and cons of each now go try to sit out and come back to me versus trying to solve it for them. So going back to my earlier point about impact, and asking mothers what kind of problems they want to solve, I think we can teach our kids to do that from a really young age, and also watch where their interests are with with my two kids. I see, my younger one already likes building a lot, right. And he structured, my other one, I'm not sure where he's gonna go, he has a huge sense of humor. And he just makes light of everything. And he has a different approach than his brother. So I'm trying to allow them to lean into their strengths and get curious, expose them to different activities, talk about values and start planting seeds and start talking about money and about work. They see me working all the time they see mommy's office. So we talk about the jobs that we do, my husband and I and how we're impacting people's lives, helping them notice impact from a young age, asking them questions, how do you think the world can be a better place? Blending professions and skills. And then I will add one last piece, which has fascinated me in the last few years is having a futuristic mindset. I attended a conference where there was a futurist and he was asking us these outrageous questions, but they were not really outrageous. They were really wise. So he said, you know, what would you do if people in your community wanted to marry a robot with a you know, and we shook our heads said, Well, yes, there's a court case in Japan, where somebody is requesting to marry a robot? Or how will you react if they're flying drones in your neighborhood, which is going to happen? So I think that one of the best projects I had in college was actually a futuristic project like that projecting what how we would solve a problem and what the impact would be in 10 to 25 years. So even cultivating that curiosity with our kids and thinking, what are the skills that are going to mediate in 1020 years to succeed, and imagining a world that's really different, and then finding all the different ways and maybe all the different professions or all the different skills that can set them up for the biggest levels of success? I'll give you one final example. Most of my good amount of my clients are engineers, it's really tough to be a mother and an engineer. But engineers, ultimately are problem solvers. Right? So I see they embrace my program was such a process driven mind. They're very systematic, they're very consistent and steadfast. And I love observing that. And you know, the training for this type of profession will mold your brain to be that way. I almost want to say, chuckling, they almost can't help themselves. They're so effective, right? So when we're helping our kids choose a profession, realizing that their education will mold their brain to be a certain way. And that being a problem solver, as an engineer can work and serve you in so many professions. You don't have to remain an engineer after you're done engineering, your skills will be transferable to so many professions. So I hope you know, I don't know if you want me to recap, or if you would like to recap what you heard. But these are a couple of ways that I think we can impact our children's success in the world besides the values piece, right. But from a from a very specific tangible, materialistic world perspective.

Nellie Harden:

Yeah. No, I, I love that. And how many jobs exists today that didn't exist before. And we have that that's a constant conversation within our family is there are people with jobs that you just don't even think are jobs out there, but they're absolutely necessary because you use them every single day. And I can do anything with technology, for sure. Right? computer screens and this and that and the other and there then it's not just one person that's out there sitting at the desk doing this. It's an entire team of people that Need to come up with the actual hardware for our computers, right? The actual hardware for you know, electrical stuff in everybody's home in the world, right? All of these things that you just don't even think of because like you, when I went to career day when I was in kid, when I was a child, it was like, Yes, doctor, lawyer, veterinarian. Therapist maybe might have been on there, but I just remember honestly, doctor, lawyer veterinarian, like, those are the things that I remember

Kinia Romanowska:

that you've made it in life write

Nellie Harden:


Kinia Romanowska:

what I owe respect to those professions, I

Nellie Harden:

definitely necessary very necessary. I've used all of them. So. But when I think of I met somebody who was a close friend of ours, and he owns a packaging company for, like, all these products that we go into the stores and buy, they all have packaging, and it's just not something I ever really thought of. But it's so obvious. And I'm like, Yeah, I guess packaging is a really big business. Because is it everything is packaged, you know, and so I just found it so fascinating. And he probably looked at me a little cross eyed, like, Yeah,

Kinia Romanowska:

I'm like, we're not talking about that we're trying to think that wasn't

Nellie Harden:

on my list. You're not a doctor, lawyer or veterinarian, you know. It was just kind of funny. So I would I would love to hear you kind of, you know, bring this all together for our audience and and your points that we are what we are doing as parents in order to help and influence our children before they leave home. So that they are set up for success in their own career life tango.

Kinia Romanowska:

Yes. So as as a recap, and I don't know you and I, I think had that conversation. But we are influencers in our children's lives, right? You can, yes, we can influence everything, but we certainly play such an important role. So number one, I talked about language, using language and and talking about a broader variety of professions and noticing all the time, right? As you mentioned, the packaging, there's always opportunities to ask your kids. Where do you think this came from? How can we have a house, right? Who designed this car? Where does the gas come from for our car? Or the solar panels? Or the battery? Right? How come the grass is so nice and green here? How is an airplane built? There's just an infinite number of opportunities to talk to our kids about right everything. Number two, I talked about what I think that was the third but that's one that jumps to my mind was the the futuristic mindset, the futuristic mindset and imagining what skills will be needed in the future. I also talked about impact and problem solving. So always encouraging from a young age thinking about how can your kids be problem solvers? And I don't know how it is in the States right now, I know you homeschooled for some time. But in Canada, in many areas, there's so much more emphasis on skill building and skill development. I think as parents, do, we have to ask ourselves the questions, what are the fundamental skills that our kids need to succeed in the world, and being conscious about that, and then practicing it every day. So the problem solving and the curiosity is one of those skills that aligns really well with being an entrepreneur entrepreneurs also solve a lot of problems. So do engineers. And finally, when we talk about doctors, you know, even medicine and health and our definition of health is really changing. So if you want our kids to be leaders, we have to help them be creators and examine things critically. When I asked my dad, you know, he was he was telling me not long before he died, you know, he said, If I could teach my, my grandchildren only one skill, I would love for them to learn critical thinking, to be able to write, to to understand that things are not just facts, because TV said so or somebody said that.

Nellie Harden:

So we're Instagram, or Instagram. Yes.

Kinia Romanowska:

So, okay, very short recap. I talked about language. I talked about critical skills, like problem solving. I talked about a futuristic mindset, I think those three things can very much impact what how our kids will succeed in the world.

Nellie Harden:

And I think, you know, in closing this eye, all of those are very important, but I agree with your dad, you know, that critical thinking piece right there because our children, especially this generation of our children, and it's only going to get more, we are letting device they're letting we are letting you know devices do their thinking for them. And it is it's becoming an epidemic of loss of critical thinking. So that is one of the most most most important things that you can do and that that comes from having conversation is asking so many questions at developing that curiosity, developing that founders that creators, you know, Outlook, Einstein, I just taught. And we went through five textbooks of science this year, because I taught the history of science and I taught science. So we went through five textbooks in that, but, and I'm a scientist in nature, biology, psychology, I love to know, functionally how things work, and then what the results are. And that's biology, psychology. So But Einstein said, I am, it's not so much that I I'm not direct quoting, but it was something like, it's not so much that I'm brilliant. I just take more time to think about things. Right? He, when he was six years old, he had this vision of what it would be like to sit on a beam of light. And what happens to that if I'm sitting on a beam of light? And where's it going? What is it doing? How does it feel? How does it look? And he thought about that throughout his entire life? And I mean, we're talking so

Kinia Romanowska:

what did she come up with? A super intriguing, I'm gonna have to Google it, please. I know, we're wrapping up. What happens when you sit on the beam of light? Actually?

Nellie Harden:

Well, that's when he was getting into, you know, particle wave theory, relativity, all the things and so I have a textbook you could borrow. But it is fascinating. My point being, though, that he was so curious, and he kept asking the question, and thinking about it. And when I was going through the history of science, we went from the ancient Greeks, who came up with mind bending real things that weren't actually concretely discovered until several, several, several millennia later, but they just sat and thought, they just sat in thought. And then we got into this era of doing right, it's not true, unless I could see it happen. And that really slowed us down. And now we are back in the last like, I would say, last, what's the 2022? So probably 100 years, we're back to our last textbook was thought experiments and how much we have gotten through. So, you know, the ancient Greeks didn't say, I'm gonna sit down and have a thought experiment today. They just said, I'm gonna go sit down and think. And so our greatest times of innovation and real studying happened when we were thinking more than we were just doing. And I find that just fascinating, right? So I, you know, I wish I could hug your dad and say, yes, absolutely. But yeah, critical thinking, if we could get back to that and sit in that more and not just have it be certain individuals and a huge minority of the population, we could get so much further. So. Okay, you guys, this has been a fascinating discussion. Thank you so much for being on here and talking with us today.

Kinia Romanowska:

Thank you for having me. It was a pleasure. And you left me with some wonderful thoughts for my