Aug. 18, 2020

Stress and Dying

Stress and Dying

Answers when we have lost our ability to cope

I have experienced much stress recently. My husband is ill, very ill and his life is threatened. Truthfully, I have had a some tough days, where I didn't cope very well. It kinda hit me one night. I was just about to head to bed. he was already hospitalized, and I was tucking myself under the sheets. A huge thud, like being punched, occurred inside my abdomen and a I began to shake.
It felt like my world was spinning and I couldn't find my way to turn it right again.
I reached out to hay house and chose a meditation. I lay flat on my bed, with my palms facing upward. I began to pray. I began to force air deep into my lungs. They resisted, my heart raced.
I concentrated on the meditation, and felt irritated. I couldn't stand the sound of the voice or the tempo of the visualization.
I began to shake and cry uncontrolled. So I moved to the floor, sat rocking back and forth, it was late, very late, and I was alone. 

It was then that I reached out, texting several close friends to see if they were up. Waiting for one reply, just one was all I ask for, as I rocked back and forth. And a friend responded, what's up. I speed dialed her phone, my sobbing catching her unprepared, but she rose up, and engaged with me. s she talked me through my panic, I could feel my breath begin to calm.

An hour later, I felt the ability to say good night. And gratefully sleep prevailed. Today I pulled an old video, I had created on our ability to  cope with stress. I had tried several great options, but t that time, nothing worked, until I reached out.

Gratefully, we caught the cancer early, his prognosis is good, but we have a long a challenging year ahead. Our life has changed, and in many wonderful ways as well. the other side of cancer is love, and we must love it all. Embrace the body that gives us the clues, if we choose to listen. And that is another topic for mind your freedom

And that is what I encourage you to do too. There is no need to go it alone, reach out. Until we speak in person, stay well out there.