Enjoli Commercial from the ‘70’s and 80’s | DFS 290

Welcome to destined for success. I'm your

host Jennifer Takagi. And today I want to talk about having it

all doing it all. So in the late 70s, early 80s, there was a

perfume called Audra Lee. And the whole premise of it was, a

woman could bring home the bacon, fry it up in a pan. And

never ever, ever let you forget, you're a man. Honestly, it was

actually a pretty nice perfume, I remember getting it as a

birthday gift, so I liked it. But let's break this down just a

little bit. So it's my contention The World According

to Jennifer, it's my contention that prior to like the 1950s,

women often did not work outside the home, except during war

times. And the women who quote stayed at home that were not of

the upper class, and I wish you could see me do the air quotes.

I could do video, but I'm not. They actually were doing work a

bazillion hours a day, because they were working out in the

fields part of the day, they were making all the meals from

scratch making their own lye soap so they could do the

laundry like they they had, they had it rough and thank you God

that I wasn't born then. So we move into the 50s. And women

start staying at home, because now the incomes are better the

men are home from the war, and they're able to stay home. And

then we move into the 60s and more and more women start

working. And in the 70s, even more women are working. And

there's this idea that if a woman works full time outside

the house, or even inside the house, it doesn't really matter.

But that she has to do everything, plus earn that

money. So I can go out and work all day and literally bring home

the bacon, the next part of the commercial is fry it up in a

pan. So the woman has to go to work and earn the money and then

buy the groceries, they didn't really bring that they have to

buy the groceries, then come home and cook dinner. Nothing is

ever said about shared responsibilities or helping each

other or supporting one another. But then I'm going to make sure

that I never let you forget your man. I'm going to do it all.

They don't even throw the children in there. But you know,

she's typically mostly responsible for the children. So

now there's even more pressure and weight on women and how

they're supposed to show up and what they're supposed to do.

Now, I've always worked, I always told my husband that you

know, my goal in life was to get married, have kids and quit my

job. And I did get married, we never were able to have kids and

I quit my job and I'm still working. So it didn't really

work out that way for me, probably because I didn't really

want it to work out that way. So I just want to I want to, like

hammer this home a little bit. And you know, you need to Google

the commercial Anjali perfume, E and J O Li. Because it really

sets up a stereotype that we buy into we buy into his women. I

have friends who got up an hour before their husband and kids so

that the house was spotless before they left for work. Or if

they worked from home, the house was spotless before everybody

got up, they cooked dinner every night they did the laundry. The

man was responsible for the yard Well, I live in Oklahoma and

you're responsible for the yard like maybe five or six months

out of the year. The rest of the time, you know, the lawn just

sits there, right? You're not mowing the lawn or playing

flowers. It's not an equal division of chores or time. Now

I'm pretty fortunate because I told my husband pretty early on

like that's not the game we're gonna play. It doesn't work for

me, because my dad always helped my mom out probably not nearly

as much as he could have or should have. But he was helpful.

He didn't just you know, sit and read the paper he was very much

involved. We have to take care of ourselves before we can take

care of other people. The whole thing about the mask dropping

down on an aeroplane put your mask on first before you put it

on the children or men next to you. I love it when they say

that that's typically a Southwest Airlines thing is

pretty funny though. But the question becomes how are you

taking care of yourself? How are you setting boundaries? My

husband and I had a rough patch a number of years ago. And I

said, You know what? I'll tell you what, I'll cook two meals a

week, because he just kind of randomly got it in his head that

I should come home and cook dinner every night. But we both

worked full time. How's that fair? And it had never been that

way before. He just kind of got a burn in his bonnet and decided

that's how it was going to be. And I let him know it was not

going to be that way. And it wasn't and it's not. But I

agreed I'll cook two meals a week. It could be Saturday and

Sunday. It can be both on Saturday, both on Sunday. I

don't really know. But you're not going to hold me to coming

home every night and cooking dinner for us. I'll do it. Some

I love to cook. I cook a lot. But I didn't like that pressure.

I didn't like that feeling of I was solely responsible. When I

talk to friends and relatives. Most of my girlfriend's and my

mom. Oh my gosh, this was such a big deal for my mom. They really

got sick and tired of having to decide what was for dinner. If

you just say I want a grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup

for dinner, Fine, let's do that. But having to come up with the

idea is just like haha, it's like a killer. Thank God for all

the food shows and all the reels on the Facebook. Because now

I've got 40 bazillion ideas on what to cook for dinner. I may

not want to do it though. Lucky for me, I love leftovers. So

it's really great when I make something and we can eat it for

several days. My husband is good with leftovers too. I hear

people are like, Oh, I hate leftovers. My dad was that way

till my mom had a stroke. And he had to take care of her for 11

years. He decided he loved leftovers and whether he cooked

it or we brought something over leftovers were good for him. So

what are you doing to take care of yourself? You might be

bringing home the bacon, you might be frying it up in a pan,

you might be taking care of your significant other, whether it's

a man or a woman, whatever. But how are you taking care of

yourself recharging yourself and being able to show up? Being

able to show up I love Jensen sheroes term a badass, how are

you showing up as a badass, but you have to take care of

yourself to be a badass. It is currently April 2024. And I had

my knee replaced on March 18 2024. And that's a pretty big

surgery. And I'm kind of tired, I'm going to physical therapy

I'm doing really great. And it dawned on me the other day. I

was 30 years old the last time I had a knee surgery this

significant I had a knee realignment look it up it was

terrible. And at that time, I took off four weeks of work. And

when I went back to work, I only worked half days for several

more weeks. I don't know if it was two weeks or four weeks,

because it was a big surgery to get over. Now granted, I don't

have to get in a car and drive downtown to go to work. But it

hadn't even been two full weeks when I had my first client call.

And let me just tell you, it kind of wore me out, I had to

get up, take a shower and be camera ready for my client call

because we do it on Zoom. I'm a little bit older than 30. Now it

was kind of a big surgery, it's taken a bit to recover from. It

hasn't even been four weeks yet. And I'm already doing a lot. So

part of it is I'm thrilled to death that I'm able to do so

much. But I have to remind myself I had a pretty major

surgery is still healing, I still have swelling, I don't

have you know, 100% of the strength back or even more the

strength I want to have. So how am I taking care of me? So when

you consider your day, your perfect day, I love this

visualization exercise. You wake up in the morning, what is your

ideal day? And what does it look like? How do you feel? How do

you show up? Who do you serve? And how do you make it all the

way through the day, all the way till bedtime? And not feel like

the life has literally been sucked out of you? I saw a super

cute clip on Facebook because you know that's what you do when

you've had surgery and you're hanging out and you're in

between shows on the Netflix and Amazon and Hulu, all the things.

And Dax Shepard was on and he said his daughter his 11 year

old and I don't know which one's older. I know that he and

Kristen Bell have two daughters. And he his daughter came into

the bedroom one morning and said, Gee Dad, I'm just not

feeling it. You can Google this and get the exact story but I'm

gonna paraphrase because that's what I like to do. And she said

Dad, I just I'm just not feeling it today. I don't feel good and

he was like, Well, did your stomach hurt? Does your head

hurt? No, no, nothing really hurt. And he goes, will come

with me and he got out of bed and he let her into the bathroom

and there stood in front of the mirror and he goes, repeat after

me. Let me see if I'm gonna get this right. I'm an effing

badass. And the 11 year old says it and he goes, and I'm an F

this day up. And she said it, you know, actual words. And then

he goes on to say, I don't condone teaching your 11 year

old kids to curse, but it got the point across. And I looked

at her and said, How are you feeling as she was, I'm good.

I'm going to eff this day up. And off she went. So everybody

in their circle started learning about this, this mantra. So

Kristen is on set, and she's having a really rough day,

nothing is going quite according to her plan. And she goes into

her dressing room and are where hair and makeup is. And she's

like, Ah, this day, it's just everything's going wrong. I just

feel terrible. And her makeup artists was from like Columbia

or something. And she, they actually have the little mantra

on taped on the mirror. And then hair and makeup gal grabs her

hands, you know, they become friends. Have you ever had your

hair and makeup done there right up in your business, you kind of

become friends, or you get a new one, right? And it's holding her

hands and said, Kristen, remember? You're a bit and you f

everything up. So she didn't get it quite right. Was the

sentiment of it, right? So you have the choice every day to

wake up and decide how you're going to show up. Setting a

boundary does not make you a bad person. Saying no is a complete

sentence. You don't have to explain if your answer is no.

And it's okay. So you can bring home the bacon and you can fry

it up in a pan and you can share it or you can eat the whole

entire pan of bacon. I'm Jennifer Takagi and if you would

like to know how to work with me, go to Jennifer takagi.com I

think you have to put a www in there first. Or if you want to

expand your horizons, get my gift 12 minute gift.com And I

got three audio files in there to walk you through how to be

more successful and get those wins. I'm Jennifer Takagi and I

look forward to connecting with you soon