E 272: Reclaiming Your Worth: The Courage to Believe You Matter Guest Sue Bowles

Well, hello everybody, and welcome back to another episode of Adult Child of Dysfunction.

Today we have with us Sue Bowles.

She is on a mission to break the stigma around mental health.

Using her story of trauma and redemption, she gets to the heart of the matter where true change happens.

She empowers others as a master life and mental health coach, author and speaker.

Welcome, Sue.

Thanks for having me, Tammy.

I'm looking forward to this.

Oh, you're very welcome.

You know, it's funny because that was like your short bio and then it was fun.

I looked back down and I started reading all your other stuff and I'm like, that gets to the heart of sue down here where it says, having done the hard work from healing from multiple traumas, sue now defines the effect of life offer.

Life altering events have on her.

The events no longer define sue.

She defines them.

That's when you.

And we'll go into all this, but I was like, wow, that's a powerful bio down at the bottom.

Sue founded My Step Ahead and is chief instigator behind the new Dare to Believe movement, nurturing others to dare to believe that you matter.

I'm just going to jump right in and start to talk about that because nothing better than a movement going on with something positive.

So tell us about that.

Sure.

I, in my, I've been on a healing journey for a long time and while we're getting to, we'll get into the backstory.

A lot of my healing journey really didn't start earnest until 2014.

So at the time we're recording this just 11 and a half years ago.

And in the course of that, it's been a lot through that and, and I've, I've been able to narrow it down to one core question that makes the difference for every person.

And the hard truth is that until someone can answer this question in a positive, that bedrock, affirmative way, permanent life change cannot and will not happen.

And that is a heavy, all inclusive statement.

And when I ask this question, you will understand the weight of it.

The question is simply this.

Do you believe that you matter?

Because yes, it's important that others believe in you.

But until you can say it yourself, yes, I, I believe in me.

That's where change happens.

Because when you believe in yourself, that's when you show up for yourself.

Be that in whatever way that looks, boundaries, communication, maybe counseling or seeing a life coach or whatever it takes to get where you want to do, whatever it takes to get where you want to go.

All of that is summarized in how you answer that.

Question.

I was on with a client this week and I asked her that question and she, she thought a minute, she said, I do.

That hesitation though, was revealing.

And that's what we're digging into, you know, as a coaching client, because other people say, yes, I believe I matter.

How it shows up.

Boom, boom, boom.

So the Dare to Believe movement is all about, about asking people and empowering people and encouraging people and equipping people is the better way to deal with those questions.

So the website daretobelievemovement.com is designed for people to kind of do some self work.

There are a lot of free articles and, and downloads on there, worksheets to kind of start dealing with fear and imposter syndrome and selft talk and boundaries and all these things that can get in the way of being able to answer that question.

Yes.

And it's designed so that people maybe they're not quite ready to contact a life coach or contact a counselor or for some reason they feel, oh, I don't need this, but I still have this issue.

That's great.

Not everybody, you know, needs to, needs to solicit that extra help, but sometimes we all still need support.

And that's what that website is all designed to be.

That's awesome.

And just the, the fact that some people can answer it so quickly.

Like when you say, you know, when you said to me, do you matter?

I'm like, of course I do.

Like, you know, there's no hesitation.

Like you said, I also have my clients.

Sometimes, you know, it's the same thing.

There's that psychologist that always says, you know, you can trick your mind and I say the same thing, but you can't trick your body.

So, so say those words to yourself, like, picture your best favorite food in the whole world.

And how does that, you know, how does that make you feel?

Makes you feel warm and fuzzy.

And then say to yourself, I deserve all good things.

And then sit with that.

So in your case, you could do that as a test for all of your clients.

Just say to yourself, I matter.

And, and, and feel it in your body.

Because if you don't truly believe it, even if you think you do on a superficial level, if you don't truly believe it, you're going to get a gut punch or a clench in your jaw or your shoulders are going to tighten or something is going to happen.

So because you can't fool your body.

And sometimes just asking that simple question, I'm sure makes people go, yeah, I matter.

But it's like, well, if your shoulders just went up, you definitely have some hesitation or some.

Yeah, I kind of do.

But, yeah, no, and that's.

Go ahead.

In the case of my client on client this week, when I asked that question, there was that hesitation and the answer was I do, but.

Then there was the.

But I still struggle with okay.

And I said, and that's what we're going to work on.

Because when you, when you can answer that question said positive, affirmative, bedrock way.

And she doesn't have the bedrock yet.

She, she's got that foundation, but it's still getting solid because there's still the chattering going on in the mind.

And that's, that's what, what she and I are working on.

That's the power of that question that gets to the core to be able to identify what are the hurdles, what are the obstacles, what are the struggles, the remnants of life experience that are still getting in the way it.

And because that's what we want to deal with.

Because until you can answer that question in that manner, positive, affirmative, bedrock, you might.

It's going to be herky jerky.

You might make progress for a while.

Then that selft talk or whatever, this chatter is going to come back.

Then you go and it's going to be push me for.

For you.

That's, that's what I mean by that.

I mean, at the end of the day, the selft talk is your subconscious, and that's where the true, true thinking is.

That's where the true.

Not the true thinking, but the true belief is.

So until you can make that rise and change that level.

Yeah, you're right.

I call it, I just call it the not enough.

So it's like, you know, people in my, my niche, or I guess you could say my, my village, my tribe, whatever it is.

I started primarily with adult children of alcoholics, and now it's adult children of alcoholics and dysfunctional families, hence the podcast name.

And.

But the underlying result is all the same.

People just don't feel worthy.

They just don't feel good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, fun enough, happy enough, whatever it is.

They just have the not enough.

And you're right.

Until they can fully embrace that and with no hesitation and no physiological response to saying how I matter, like I really matter.

That's.

That's an amazing, amazing movement and I love that.

So what was your biggest, I guess, in your healing?

Was it.

Did it start later?

Your, I guess, adversity that you had to heal from?

Or did that start very young?

Oh, it started really young.

Like age 7.

Okay.

I am a child.

I'm a childhood rape survivor.

I was raped by a classmate when I was seven years old, and I kept a senior secret by a classmate at 7.

Yes.

After school one day, held against my will for 45 minutes, and I didn't tell anybody for 15 years until my senior year of college.

So you can only imagine.

And then, yes, there was other sexual abuse that happened in between there from a neighborhood kid.

Ultimately, I was raised in an alcoholic, dysfunctional, emotionally abusive home.

Did an intervention on dad.

Mom and dad divorced after 34 years of marriage in the course of all that, and I know that goes past high school, but I developed an eating disorder.

I'm in recovery from an eating disorder.

I've struggled with depression.

I've struggled twice.

I've considered ending my life.

I've dabbled in cutting.

So there's been a whole gamut.

And I am here now leading the Dare to Believe movement.

So what?

It took a long time to not.

It's actually something my counselor and I are talking through right now that's been really powerful is that I had taken on an identity of hurt, and I'd not thought of it that way before, and that's been really revolutionary for me.

And so we're only, like, six weeks into this, and I'm like, that has just really rocked my world.

And it is so true.

And so while I say I define the effects.

Yes.

It doesn't mean the effects aren't still lingering.

And my healing has been so deep and so profound to get me to the point of being able to say, yes, I believe I matter, and I believe I matter so much that I'm out doing this and bringing other people along for the ride.

Yeah.

It doesn't mean I don't struggle.

It means I have a support team.

I have great support, and I have the right resources that support me while I keep moving.

You mentioned earlier about my step ahead.

It's the business name, and the concept behind that is you only have to be a step ahead to help the person behind you.

I'm reaching back to my counselor to keep dealing with remnants.

Excuse me while I can reach back to someone else who's still starting their healing journey.

And together, we have a human chain of support.

That's the power of my step ahead.

Because oftentimes when we are hurt, when we are broken, wounded, recovering, trying to figure out, who the heck am I now?

That.

Fill in the blank.

Right.

With that, we tend to think, well, I have nothing to offer anybody.

I don't have it figured out.

I'm hurting myself.

I'm still broke, and I'm still angry, and I'm messed up.

And all this is all affecting me.

How can I help somebody else when I don't even have my own craft together?

And the power is that you have lived life experience, some people may say, meaning they've had a meaningful life experience.

But every life experience is meaningful.

Every single one.

While you are still figuring out your stuff and finding your new identity after the trauma and the healing and discovering, this is who I am, and this is why I matter, you can still take what you have learned up to now and help somebody else who's just starting their journey.

That's the power of my step ahead.

That's how we break the stigma around mental health, is that you don't have to have it all figured out.

You only have to be a step ahead.

I love that.

I love that.

And you know, it's funny, because I didn't.

Not that I took a while to embrace that concept, but I remember when I first started getting into the coaching realm.

I mean, I have had a coaching certificate for 20 years, but I've only been coaching for a couple.

And I can remember them saying, well, you only have to be one step ahead of the people in front of you.

And I was like, I don't know, like my mother being a child psychiatrist, I'm like, no, she needed to know, like, thousands of things, a state.

You know what I mean?

But when I finally broke it down and figured out what that they were actually saying, it was true.

I mean, you don't have to have it all figured out.

You can be going, and.

And.

Because at the end of the day, it's not all figured out ever.

I mean, you can get to a very, very, very good place, but then God's gonna say, hey, by the way, let me unravel something else.

Yep.

For me, that identity of hurt.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's like, let me.

Let me just give you one more thing that you're ready to handle now.

Like, you have the tools.

Exactly.

I mean, and that's just how healing works.

I mean, that it's.

It's two steps forward, three steps back, five steps forward, two steps back.

But, yeah, you're right.

And.

And that there is power in that.

There is power in making the chain and everybody.

And if nothing else, that person that's one step behind you is looking at you for hope because you're one step ahead of them.

So they know they can be one Step ahead of where they are right now, if nothing else.

Exactly.

That's exactly it.

Someone.

We get to be lighthouses of hope.

That's what I call it.

Because someone else is just discovering and coming to understand.

I've had stuff happen in my life that's not supposed to happen.

What am I supposed to do with this?

How do I handle this overwhelming.

I can't even tell you what my first step is.

But wait, you know what?

Sally was just telling me about her journey and where she started getting help and what brought.

Maybe I can ask her.

She's suddenly safe because she's shared her journey.

I didn't hear.

Sally's got it all figured out.

Has master's degree and a PhD hanging on the wall.

What I heard is Sally took the first step to find healing.

And I'm trying to figure out that first step so maybe Sally can help me.

Yeah, that's what it's about.

No, and that is.

That is so powerful.

Like, and.

And that's kind of in the realm of where I am with.

You know, for the longest time, I didn't call myself a coach, but everybody's like, why not you coach everybody?

I was just a friend.

I was everybody's friend, you know, And.

But I had lived experience.

And I remember my very first coaching client, she said to me, tammy, I've been going to therapy for 11 years, given that woman $110 a week for 11 years and 18 years, you told me more about why I am the way I am.

And you gave me a tip that will literally change my entire life in 18 or in 18 minutes, she said.

And I said, because I was you, you know, I mean, I've been there, I've done it.

I was you.

And there.

Yeah, that's.

That's so powerful.

So one of the questions.

And I know I always put on the.

And I'm gonna.

I bounce around a lot, so bear with me.

Go for it.

I never know what's gonna download.

Like, I don't know what people need to hear.

But one of the questions that you asked me or you put as a question to ask you was about how do you have the courage, I guess, to.

Or how do people have the courage to share their story when.

Without being afraid of what people are going to think of them?

Yeah, and.

And, yeah.

And it's different for each person.

I think, you know, some of it.

Yes.

Gets down to that.

How do you answer the question, do I believe I matter?

Because when, again, when you can answer that question, you realize that there's something bigger going on than the story.

But I think when you're first starting out that story, when you're first coming to an awareness that something has happened that wasn't supposed to happen, and you need to know it's not your fault, that's the first thing.

That is the first thing.

And you have worth.

And sometimes it takes being desperate enough to just.

I don't care.

This is where I'm going.

And.

And I just need to do.

I'm holding on with all I got because this is all I got to hang on to.

And.

And for me, I got desperate enough.

For me, I went.

There's a retreat program.

That's where all my healing started was, was a retreat program called Walking Stick Retreats.

And I was dealing with the rape for the first year.

And now, mind you, my counselor and I have been talking for six years and we comment now that we had to get me stronger in the present before we could go back to the past.

And that's an important step.

Yes.

And so.

But I think for me, I got desperate enough.

And I think sometimes that's what it takes, because that chatter of someone else's opinion of that fearful fear of rejection and all those things having to come face to face with the ugliness of what has happened to you, of what you've experienced, that's part of your story.

It is not your whole story.

It's a huge chapter and you're writing more.

Please hear that.

But trying to come, not trying to.

But coming face to face with that requires some desperation of.

I'm not willing.

It's what I call holy dissatisfaction.

I'm not willing to stay here.

I don't care what the heck it takes.

I am poor.

I'm going forward.

And if you want to come with me, great.

But this is where I'm going.

And y' all can't handle it if you're not going to come with me, because you're not going to know who comes out on the other side, because I want something better than this.

And I think that's what a lot of it comes down to.

Because until then, yes, that chatter is going to be in the mind and that fear and that hesitation and.

And it comes down to putting yourself first and being desperate enough to every chat for help.

And even in the.

You know, I was just, in my last podcast episode, we were talking about how it's sad that so many people have to hit that rock bottom where they contemplate their own life or they're cutting or they're doing these things as self mutilation because at the end of the day, it's a, it's a shame.

It's a, it's a shame spiral.

And it just gets so bad.

But, you know, I tell people sometimes when I say, you know, share your story.

If you don't share it to other people to start with, share it in a journal.

Do anything you can to get it out of your business body.

I mean, sit, you know, you don't want to relive it, but come to terms with the fact that it did happen and it was ugly and write about it and, and then rip up those pages and throw them away until you're in the, the vicinity of somebody that you trust enough to actually vocalize it and verbalize it and put it into words.

And, and I think that's a very important step too.

You know, when people go, oh, you got.

I've, I've had people go, I.

Who, who am I going to tell?

Like, get in a safe place.

Have that person, whether it's a coach, a friend, a mentor, a guidance counselor, if you're still a teenager, whoever it is, someone that you trust with the small things so that you know that you can trust them with the big things.

Right?

Yeah.

And to that point as well.

Being desperate doesn't mean that you're ready to take your life.

Oh, no.

Considering that being desperate means I don't want to stay where I am.

And I am willing to do whatever it takes to get to a new place.

And I want to make that delineation because there, yes, there were a couple times that I was rock bottom like that.

But when I finally entered into healing, it's 2008.

I lost a friend three years prior.

I was grieving her as if it was yesterday.

And my eating disorder behaviors were starting to come up again.

When it had been fine for a while, my pastor connected me with somebody named Amanda.

I'm still with her now.

And like I said, we had to spend.

I didn't know what a boundary was.

I didn't know how to stand up for myself.

That's what I had to get desperate about first was I'm letting everybody manipulate me and walk all over me as if I don't even exist.

I don't even know who I am and I'm just not willing to stay here anymore.

Yep, that was what my desperation looked like for me because that then fueled.

I don't care.

Whatever it takes, this is what I'm doing.

Yep.

And it looks like you said it Looks different for absolutely every single person.

And some people.

The girl I talked to before it.

Was it her?

I don't want to say her rock bottom, but the point that she finally said something's got to give had to do with her children.

A lot of times, it is the children that do it.

That was kind of what happened to me.

I was just kind of going through life being a little doormat.

I had done everything they told me to do and that I didn't think I was capable of even doing because I was always told I would be nothing.

But I married someone, and I was, like, getting ready to have a baby, and then all of a sudden I was like, holy crap, I don't know how to be a mom.

Like, I can't do this.

I can't.

You know?

And that was like, I got to.

I got to change or I.

Or I'm going to end up being my mother and being my father.

That's not what I want to do.

And here's the cool part.

When you get to that point of something's got to give, that's when you start answering that question.

Do you believe that you matter in a positive way?

Yeah, I matter enough that I'm going to make a change and I'm going to do whatever it takes to help me get that change made.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And it didn't come immediately after I realized I had to change it.

Still, that's that part that did.

Do you matter?

It didn't still come.

I was 26, and that part didn't come till I was about 35, honestly, like, truly come.

But I was.

Didn't matter.

I still, at that point, you know, I might not have been doing it for myself, but I was doing it for them.

And that was okay to me at that point until I realized I had to.

It's all in here.

I couldn't answer that question positively until five or six years ago.

And, and.

And oddly enough, that's about when I started the movement, when I started realizing this.

This is the bottom line of it all.

This is.

This is the centerpiece around everything which.

How you answer that question.

Everything else revolves around that.

It's like, I need to get this out to other people because it's.

Yeah, it makes the difference.

Well, and you had a purpose at that point that had given you a purpose.

Oh, yeah, just that one statement, you know, And.

And knowing that that was your message, that was your mission.

And I don't know whether you got a God download or however you got your download, but you Got it.

It's a God.

God gives me a lot of downloads.

God likes to hijack my journal, I'll put it that way.

Yeah, he really.

He's a pretty good.

He's good at that.

That's for sure.

He is for sure.

Yes.

So I love that.

So in the pursuing, I'm just going, I'm asking some of your questions because they're very good questions.

And I like this podcast to really give some people some tangible things and strategies.

What do you think are the three most critical things people need to keep pursuing for healing and growth?

The three biggies.

Now, See, the first thing is continue to own your story.

Okay?

Because your story is going to continue to develop and there may be things that you don't like about your story that come back to come out of the shadows ten years later.

And continuing to own the story, it's continued to acknowledge that, okay, this is part a chapter.

It's a few sentences in the chapter.

It's not the whole book.

Because sometimes when you're going along and you're right, right, and everything, something, you almost feel like the rug got pulled out from out of you, and you're like, I thought I was done.

And then, you know, it can, it can be a spiral.

And when you continue to own your story and see it as part of you, but not all of you, it's easier to say, okay, that one caught me off guard, but I'm not where I was and I can take what I've learned.

Look at this.

Apply it, acknowledge, grow, heal, and keep moving so it doesn't become a roadblock.

So I think that's the first thing, is continue to own your story.

Second thing is community.

Having people in your life now, that doesn't mean have 20 people that you're telling everything to, right?

That might be one or two trust people, just like Tam was saying earlier.

Might be a counselor, pastor, friend, you know, a life coach, you know, a family member, whoever that is.

But develop those relationships where you can be real with them, where you can be authentic, where you know you are accepted and loved and loved enough, where they're not going to let you stay where you are, because that's an important part, too, is to surround yourself with a few people who love you enough to put it on the line and love you enough to, to help challenge you and push you and, and, and encourage you and lift you up because they know what else you are capable of.

And then I think, third thing, to continue to grow is to continue to have an attitude of Curiosity to not, not come back.

Well, I've got myself all figured out now.

I don't need counseling.

I got all, you know, and suddenly you become a little prideful and then you can set yourself up.

But if you continue to have that attitude of curiosity of, you know, now why am I feeling this?

And not beating yourself up over why you're feeling something, maybe you're triggered over something that is.

Okay, triggers happen.

That's part of your story, is part of life.

And what tools have you used, what tools have you learned and developed that you can apply now?

And if it's a trigger where you're just not able to dig out, that's where that community comes in.

That's where that continue continual thing of okay, you know, what else can I learn about me?

That's where that comes in.

My neighbor across the street passed away early December.

She was grandma of the neighborhood.

I knew my grandma.

We would go over and help Fran with her trash and you know, and, and mail and whatever else.

And my brother would shovel the driveway and everything.

And it was coming up on three weeks before it was gonna be a 30 anniversary.

Lose my dad.

Right.

Two days after Christmas, we lost him December 27, 19, 20, 22.

So that really triggered me and it set me on a bit of a tailspin and I couldn't re.

I, I knew it was a trigger.

I acknowledged it.

But I, it, it was, it was just there.

I was already coming up on anniversary time among the holidays.

So even though I've got all this knowledge and I'm doing all these things and I've been in counseling with Amanda for so long, I've learned so much, so need her to help me dig out that one.

It's going to happen.

That's where that community comes in.

Absolutely.

I love that.

So just to recap, I'm going to recap for the listeners.

So the three steps, and she said this is the three most critical steps to heal and continue to grow is own your story.

Continually own your story.

Get the community, develop your relationships and continue to grow.

Because you're right, you never, it's, it's never.

There's no stop sign to healing.

And there's really, I mean that's.

If you have a purpose, it should, you should continue to want to grow anyway to get to better and better and just being a better person.

I mean that's just.

Should be human nature when you've got everything else aligned and you're not trying to survive.

And it's similar to what we said earlier.

About the self talk is the key with those three things we just talked about that helps ward off negative self talk.

I could have been beating myself up.

I can't believe France death is really taking me down the ride so much and kind of just get down on yourself or.

I'm owning that part of my story.

I still hurt over losing my dad and Fran's passing hurt.

And it magnified my hurt all the more.

And that's part of my story now.

I don't like it, but what have I learned?

Who can I turn to and how can I continue to grow from this?

Absolutely.

I love that message.

Love it.

Thank you so much for that.

So I'm.

I had a question too.

I actually had a couple questions while you were talking and then you.

I got to, I got sidetracked listening to you because your, your explanation was so good.

I love too that your mission, and I see it right there, is breaking the stigma around fate, around faith and mental health.

The faith and mental health part does.

I know I just did a summit last December called Shattering Stigmas and it was all about like rewording.

I had like 45 speakers.

Come on there, I'll send you a copy of it.

And had like 45 speakers all come on and talk about different stigmas, about different things.

When you say the stigma around faith and mental health, explain that to me because I'm just seeing for the people that aren't looking.

I'm looking at her banner in the back of.

Behind her.

So I'm a Christ follower.

And so my faith perspective comes, comes from, from a Christian perspective.

And unfortunately there are many people who still believe that mental health struggles, which are normal for everybody, are a faith problem or a prayer problem.

And while those certainly come into play, that is not an all inclusive answer.

So I address the intersection of faith and mental health.

Because we live in a fallen world and we are still susceptible to the consequences of sinful natures of every person.

So when someone is.

Someone does harm to you in some way that hurts, you are still susceptible to those effects.

And it's more than just praying it away.

It's more than just you don't have enough faith.

Those comments only beat somebody down when they're already hurting and don't know who is safe.

So what I aim to do, what my step ahead is about, what the Dare to Believe movement is about, is creating safe, safe places to have the hard conversations.

On my YouTube channel, I am very open about my story.

I will share old stuff, you know, old experiences, new stuff.

I Shared a few different videos about how France, France passing triggered me because it's real life, because I want to create that safe space.

It does not mean I'm not a Christ follower.

It doesn't mean I don't have enough faith.

It means I hurt.

It means I love and I hurt.

And I'm trying to figure out how to manage that.

That's what it means now.

I manage it, yes.

With my faith in Christ.

And that certainly gets me through.

It's also not a panacea to say, oh, just whitewash this and you'll be fine.

Yeah.

No, that denies what, that denies what reality is.

And Christ was all about the truth.

Yep, absolutely.

Actually, one of my talks and that's why I kind of asked.

One of my talks in the, in the stigma summit that I did in December was about, that was about growing up in certain, you know, religions where it was, if something happened, if something, even if something bad happened to you, you know, pray and forgive, pray and forgive, pray and forgive.

And, and that doesn't always fix every, you know, I mean, yes, it's, it's a huge part of it.

And I always say like when people like, well, we've got you through and I'm like myself and God, you know.

Yes.

But at the same time, when you're having a mental health crisis to just be told, you know, pray and pray, just pray more.

You're den when that is said, you're denying the emotions that God has created in you.

Right.

And that, that's not authentic.

Nowhere in the word do I say do I see, hide your emotions.

Nowhere do I say see, fake it so you make it.

And yet how many of us try to live by that because of the insecurity, because of the rejection, because of the non acceptance of people.

And I'm going to get really bold here because our struggle makes them uncomfortable.

That's really what it is.

Yep, it is.

I'm blow the lid off that.

No, that's at the end of the day.

Exactly.

And that's, you know, that was the whole concept of my entire summit was people steer away and avoid and condemn what they don't understand or they don't, you know, and, and it just makes everything more uncomfortable.

And it's just like, and they're not.

Willing to learn or consider that their view of whatever they think faith life should look like isn't as whitewashed as it really as, as they want it to be.

It's not all black and white.

Absolutely.

It's muddy, it's dirty and that's why Jesus is.

Then that's life, though.

Absolutely.

Well, this has been super fun, Sue.

So tell people if they want to work with you or get your information or tell them.

Where do we find you?

Yeah.

Best places@sioux bowls.com if you're watching the video, the website's right there on my screen as well.

You'll find the links to everything else, the YouTube channel and everything right there.

But please reach out to me, Siouxballs.com you can email me.

There all kinds of other stuff there for you as well.

Perfect.

And I appreciate you so much for coming on.

But before you go, one last message.

And you have given so many tips and little.

Little, you know, little tricks and stuff in there, but what's your final.

What is your big message for everybody?

Just repeat it.

Wow.

So many.

Yeah, I. I usually say, dare to believe you matter.

Which is.

Is what.

What I want to say?

Yes.

Dare to believe you matter.

And if you're not there yet, take your next step.

Just one step.

It doesn't matter how big or small.

That is just your next step.

What is your next step ahead?

Everybody needs encouragement.

And on my website, you go to siboz.com I have what I call Humpty Help, which is a weekly encouragement text I send out.

You can sign up for that for free.

Maybe that is your next step, to just reach out and just get a text that just helps you get through the week.

And then in that, it helps you take your next step, nurture, take whatever that next step is.

And if there's some way that I can be on that journey with you, I would welcome that because I believe in you and I want to help you get to the point where you dare to believe in you as well.

Oh, yeah.

Thank you so much.

Because, yes, when you believe in yourself and you're willing to bet on yourself and everything you do, it's a world of difference.

It most certainly is.

So what is that called?

Hump Day Help.

Hump Day Help.

Yes.

When you go to my website, you'll see that.

You'll see a little thing come up.

You just click on that.

It'll take your name and your.

Your name, I think, name, email, and phone number, and then it'll send a text and everything.

Every Wednesday morning, you get it every Wednesday.

So I think that's.

Yeah.

No, I mean, but.

And.

But you don't even know the ripple effect of something like that and what that does.

And I try to tell people that, like, with the energy they put in the world or the smiles or the shirts that people wear that say, you know, smile, Jesus loves you.

And it says it on the back, you know, so only the people behind you can see it.

You never know when there's somebody out there that wants to be telling their story or wants to be heard or wants to be seen or just wants to get better.

And so anything positive that you can do, like, something like that, just getting, getting a text every Wednesday morning, you, you have no idea.

It's probably saved lives and you don't even know it.

It's, that's the ripple effect of putting positivity into the world.

So I, I, I, I, I love the interaction I get with people because they write me back and somebody wrote today, and we're going to get on a call tomorrow because it's, it's meeting needs, and that's what it's all about.

That's exactly.

And like you said, we, we live in a, in a broken world.

Systems are broken, People are broken, and they need all the help they can get.

So thank you so much for coming on.

I appreciate you.

And for everybody else out there, like she said, just take one step, ask yourself, close your eyes, put your hand on your heart, and ask yourself, what do I need right now?

And then go do one thing that's going to get you closer to that.

Go do one thing for yourself, because you so deserve it.

I think at the end of my, my little outro for my podcast says, you know, I think the last sentence in it is, and you are way more than enough right here, right now.

Exactly.

Thank you.

Thank you so much.

Thank you, Tim.

You're welcome.

You have a blessed day.

Thank you.