Convertirse en optimistas realistas

0:07 Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for a better life. I am Eugenio Valla, ruiz, reader, hard- working and lover of personal development. Today I want to talk about optimism, the optimists and how we look at them. But before you start, let me remind you that you have at your disposal a compilation of the most relevant ideas and tips on personal development in my four books, Free, healthy and happy. Thirty- one days to improve your life, minimalism for normal people and seven steps towards a purposeful life. I leave your link to each of them in the notes of the episode and also since many of you have asked me how and where to train in personal development. I tell you that it has worked for me that it is the master' s degree in personal development online, from IPP Institute of Positive Thinking.

1:07 You know the best training that exists in this field, covering in depth the six areas of life, self- knowledge, body and health, emotions, relationships, transcendence and money and professional career. If you want to take a look at your free mastre class, I' ll leave your link in the episode notes a little bit lower next to my books and now we' ll talk about optimism. Optimists are often put in the same sack as people who refuse to accept the things that happen in life, refuse to accept the problems, refuse to accept the challenges. And it is not, because deep down there are two types of optimistic people. There are the optimists who believe in magical thinking and there are the realistic optimists. And what I' m proposing is that you look like the realistic optimists. The optimists of magical thinking are not personally developed, they are not the kind of people we should take as a model. But realistic optimists do. The realistic optimist, let me explain. He' s a person who doesn' t run away from reality.

2:25 He is a person who accepts challenges with confidence, takes steps to overcome those challenges, confronts them, and eventually ends up transforming, prospering, or learning something and all that feeds his self- esteem. That' s the realistic optimist, that' s the good optimist. What distinguishes these realistic optimists from the magical optimists, the first of which is that the realistic optimists have a purpose. You know how you can identify your purpose We' ve talked about it many times in this podcast. In fact, you already know that you have the book that explains it seven steps and that I' m giving away among swws ideas to live better as well in case you haven' t stopped by yet, but I' ll tell you again. The purpose is identified on the basis of three axes, what you are good at, what you enjoy doing and what other people need. Then your purpose is in the middle of that triangle. Your purpose is to combine all three things, what you enjoy, what you are good at, and what others need. If we had to sum it up in a sentence, the purpose is to put your passions and talents at the service of others to solve any problems. When you have a purpose, like these realistic optimists, you keep your mind focused

3:57 on the things that really matter to you and then, by the simple fact of doing this, you already feel fulfilled. You are stronger in the face of adversity when things are going wrong, you do not give up immediately and, of course, you have a vision, a more optimistic thought. You trust the future, because you have a purpose, you know where you' re going. This is like when you take the car, if you don ' t put the GPS and you don' t know where you' re going, you have no confidence in getting anywhere, because you really don' t go anywhere if you have a road ahead, a car with gasoline, you have a destination and you have the GPS plugged in. Well, obviously, you' re much more optimistic that you' re going to reach your final destination. The second thing that distinguishes a realistic optimist from a magical optimist is that realists know how to manage their emotions, recognize them, label them, identify what triggers that emotion. And, by doing this, what they get is to reduce the power emotions have over them. They never repress it, they never try to avoid it, because they know it' s important to differentiate between those things you can control and those things you can' t.

5:19 Optimistic magazines are very good at accepting reality, because they know that there will always be things beyond their control. But what remains under his control is always to change his perception and his response to the things that life is presenting to us and that are inevitable. In this they resemble the Stoics, this I see directly from philosophy. Stoica can' t control what' s going on, but you can control your reaction to what' s going on. Third feature of realistic optimists know what their strengths are and what their weaknesses are And why this is important, because when you have that clarity, you have realistic beliefs about what your capabilities are. And then, when you' re realistic about your beliefs, about your abilities, you act without fear, you act with confidence. And what happens when you act fearlessly and act confidently, for you get better results. Another feature is its ability to focus, to be present at every moment, to live in the present moment. And this point is very important because today. You know that technology is testing our ability to live in the present, to keep our attention. We already know from

6:54 multiple studies that too much technology reduces empathy, decreases cognitive surrender, decreases social skills, and we no longer talk about the consequences of the massive use of social networks, especially among very young people. So this is about getting attention and living more in the present. And for that, realistic optimists, in addition to what I just told you, avoid doing three things. Rumiate that we saw it or a couple of episodes ago, worry and compare. They don' t do any of these three things. Rumiation you already know is basically getting stuck in the past. The concern is to get stuck in the future and the comparison is to judge your life and judge yourself, comparing it with the lives of others or comparing you with others. Well, instead of doing this, the real optimists do what they do is look for moments of solitude, conscious that inner island that we all have and that we should go to from time to time relax, put limits to technology, especially in the mornings and before bed to sleep better and in their free time, they do things that really bring them happiness, that bring them joy. All that,

8:26 what it does is that they are more present at every moment and more present at every moment, they are able to have that realistic optimism which, as I say to you, is optimism, which I think is better. Another characteristic of these realistic optimists is that they give importance to connecting with others, but they prioritize the quality of those social relationships above the quantity, that is, they are able to alternate that conscious loneliness that we talked about before, with the need or joy, to see friends, to see family, but always with healthy limits, that is, they do not care. If one day they have to stay home alone, they don' t care. Nor do they build walls behind which they parapet and do not allow others to enter, that is, they face social relations without craving, without fear of rejection, but, on the other hand, without having the absolute need to always be accompanied by people, because if they do not fall apart. That doesn ' t happen to them. And the last feature is that these realistic optimists practice healthy habits. You know what the power of habits is, you know that they are automatic decisions that make up our daily routine and, therefore,

9:58 our identity. Well, the optimists have their goals and to achieve those goals, what they do is generate habits that build towards the achievement of those goals and do so by constantly measuring what progress they are making. So, for example, realistic optimists are people who prioritize taking care of themselves, exercising and all that, those healthy habits. In the end what leads you to is to improve your mood and calm your mind, I mean, don' t you exercise? Why? Are you optimistic? Are they optimistic because they exercise?

10:39 Are they optimistic because they have healthy habits? If you do not have healthy habits, it is very difficult for your mind to function in a realistic optimistic way. So you know, the realistic optimist is a person who uses a series of tools. Take a toolbox with you if you want to see it, so that you can keep that realistic view, that both realistic and positive view of life. When you have a realistic and positive vision, you find yourself at ease and you can thrive From there, step by step, in all aspects of life. What' s inside that toolbox of the realistic optimist, because there' s a purpose, there' s a ability to manage emotions, there' s a deep self- knowledge, virtues, flaws, weak points, strengths. There is a capacity to live in the present, to pay attention to the present moment. There are significant relationships, not necessarily many, but quality clarifications and, above all, there are healthy habits.

11:52 If you liked this episode, please let me like it or share it on social networks or visit three wwwsp ideas to live better with where you can subscribe and download for free a copy of my latest book. Seven steps to a purposeful life. And if you want to learn much, much more, if you want to train in personal development with the best experts, then take a look at the free masterclass of the personal development master' s online ipp I leave your link in the episode notes under the play button In that box you can find it next to my books and without further firing. Thank you very much, as always and until the next