Cómo dejar de pensar demasiado

0:09 Hello everyone and welcome to ideas for a better life. I am Eugenio Valla, ruiz, reader, hardworking and lover of personal development, as always reminding you that you have at your disposal a compilation of the most relevant ideas and advice on personal development. In my four books you already know them free, healthy and happy, thirty- one days to improve your life, minimalism for normal people and seven steps for a purposeful life. I leave your link in the episode notes a little lower than the play button and also, as many of you are asking me how and where to train personal development. I tell you what has worked for me, which is the personal development master' s degree online, from IPP' s Institute of Positive Thinking. You know that I think it is the best training that exists in this field, because it covers depth the six main areas of life, self- knowledge, body and health, emotions, relationships, transcendence and money and professional career. So, if you want to take a look at your completely free and uncompromising master clash, I' ll leave your link in the episode notes a little lower than the play button next to my books. In a world as complex as the present one, there are times when our brain becomes out of control and when

1:42 our brain is controlled, it can turn a senseless grain of sand into an authentic mountain. It is clear and I agree that thinking long before making any important decision in life is fundamental. Obviously, it is worth taking some time to reflect and reflect a lot on decisions as important as the career I want to study whether or not I have to end a relationship that is not going well if I am going to move to another country or not. But what I want to refer to in this episode is not that kind of decision. I am referring to those occasions when you give us too much thought to things that don' t deserve it. And this is a problem, because when we do this, we are misallocating our cognitive resources instead of using our mental energy, which is something limited to important issues and which really need that energy.

2:44 We' re wasting it on things that don' t deserve it and thinking too much can manifest itself in various ways for everyone is the same. There is a first form, which is the most common, which is ruminating, which is what happens to us when we stay awake at night repeating something unimportant that has happened to us during the day, like that a colleague has commented on what and has left us wrong in front of the boss, or when we become obsessed with matters that do not have as much importance as that little reform that needs to be done at home, or that problem that we have had with the car, etcetera. These kinds of thoughts occupy an impressive amount of our brain space. They consume an impressive amount of energy. As I say, that' s the most common way to think too much of that rumiation. And then there are people who think too much out of indecision people who constantly doubt the daily decisions they have to make, who ask themselves many times if it is worth buying that and giving it a thousand turns, if you think about what other people think about it. The site has to accept that invitation, because if it' s not going to seem rude, normally, this constant indecision is because we' re not clear what our values are. We do not have a constitution, reactor values that lead us to

4:17 make decisions in a simpler way. And what happens is that when we think too much, we' re going into a very important opportunity cost, because think that your mental energy is limited is something finite, it' s not infinite. So, every moment you spend overthinking, it' s taking time that you could have spent doing something constructive. So if you think about it, not too much, but if you think about it, overthinking is a missed opportunity to live a better life, and that' s why I want to address this issue today. Today' s idea is that you focus on thinking about what really matters and so you can do it, I want to share a number of tips, a series of ideas that can help you.

5:13 The first is, as almost always, to become aware. If you want to fight the excess of thought you have, it is essential that you know how to recognize when you are falling into it. And to do that, you' re going to need to observe yourself continuously, be attentive, be present. How can you realize that you are thinking too much, because one of the signs that they will tell you is when you fall into that situation of paralysis by analysis, when you feel trapped in a cycle of constant thought, but that does not help you to come to any conclusions. And as a result of this, because you feel indecisive, you feel they are and that you are constantly and continuously reviewing the same information and falling into this.

6:06 What it' s going to do is you exhaust your mental energy, stress yourself, and don' t make the right choices. You probably don' t make any decisions, but when you make it, you don' t have much more chance of being right than wrong. People who think too often believe that there is only one right answer to problems. They are some sort of perfectionists who idealize in an unrealistic way the world around them. No perfect solutions are a myth. Most problems do not have only one solution. They have several good solutions. The problem is that if you think there' s only one right solution to your problem, you' re going to spend a lot or time, to collect more and more data, more and more information, you' re going to think more and more because you think you only have one bullet to solve that problem and obviously want to take advantage of it.

7:13 If, on the contrary, you know that there are many ways to solve a problem that is reality, is reality, we are not going to fool ourselves. So what you do is make a relatively quick decision and you ' ll see if that solution that you' ve decided to try works or not and if you don' t try another saying otherwise, when you think this way you see those possible solutions as hypotheses that you have to test. In the end, the key is to allow yourself to fail. When you allow yourself to fail, you lose the need to achieve that absolute perfection in each of the decisions you make. And best of all, you start to see failures not as an end point, but as learning, as something that allows you to keep moving forward, because in reality, many times mistakes teach us much more than successes. If you are constantly tense avoiding mistakes at all costs, you are depriving yourself of learning. So, instead of seeing solutions that don' t work as a defeat, you' ll consider it as one more fact. In that wonderful experiment that is your life, think of a laboratory, in experiments there are no great expectations. An experiment focuses on results, not victories, because each result, even without experiment, is not

8:46 satisfactory. Each result is a step forward for science or for whatever field. Another thing that can help you think less is to identify your values. Every day we' re bombarded with thousands of decisions. We have to make thousands of decisions every day. Some are very important, like what career we have to study, but most are much smaller decisions, such as that we are going to have dinner tonight and in the middle of that bombing it is very easy to get lost thinking too much. The question is how I make such decisions faster and more clearly. And here' s one thing. Many of the people who make good decisions. They are people who are guided by values, who make decisions based on who they are and what they care about.

9:52 Imagine, for example, that you have to choose a school for your child. Well, imagine you have to choose a school for your son. If you value your time above other things, then you must choose the school that is closest to your home. And this will have good things or bad things, because that school can be better or worse. But in any case, your values, which is the protection of your time, have made it easier for you to make a decision. I don' t go into whether it ' s right or wrong, because that' s what we' ve already seen that what we might expect is learning. But your values have allowed you to make a decision, so you are already avoiding the excessive thinking that is what I am talking about in this podcast. What happens is that sometimes there is a gap between what we say we value and what we really value or what we actually do. For example, we say that we value family time, but we work late almost always. Or we say culture is important to us, but we never take a book. This is nothing but signs that we are out of line with our values, or that we have no values of our own or that what we do is not in line with those values

11:24 that we theoretically have. So my advice is always to ask yourself if your daily actions are reflecting your values. Think about where you spend your time, where you invest your money, where you invest your energy, because those investments often reveal your unconscious values. Tell yourself the truth. Where your time goes, where your money goes, where your energy goes, because those are your values and that is the truth. Get in front of that mirror and if you like it, what you look great, keep doing it. But if you don' t like it, it may be time to redefine your values or redefine your habits. Remember, your values are yours. They don' t have to be universally correct. There are no good values and bad values, although culturally, because there are things that do resonate with us more, but the buckets have to be right for oneself they have to be right for you Once you identify those values and start living according to them, then the excess of thought begins to disappear because you already make decisions based on your values.

12:45 You don' t have to give things thirty laps. You have values and you act according to them. Another important concept that can help you is to understand that you can' t control every aspect of your life, but you can control your answers. You don' t control what happens to you, but you control how you respond to it. For example, there are two interesting derivatives here. The first is gratitude. Gratitude is an antidote to overthinking, because thank you shift your attention from what you lack to what you already have in your life and the result, because it is a more optimistic mood and, above all, less room for rumination, to turn things around.

13:35 And how I begin to thank you, because one simple way to do this is to schedule it. You schedule a reminder on your phone every day and when it sounds, you take a minute. A minute doesn' t take longer to think about one or two things you' re grateful for that day. And another option, because it' s with an application. I have, for example, one called Dali Gratitude, which allows you to keep a diary of gratitude and every day point out three things. And it' s fine, because you can see what things you' ve been thankful for in the last year, for example, and you can already group them by topic and do analysis of what things really help you feel happy, to feel that gratitude. Another way to respond to the realities of life is by cultivating empathy when you face annoying situations that are inevitable in life. For example, a driver who jumps to a traffic light and is about to give you and so do not draw negative conclusions. Instead of thinking that guy' s an asshole, think of a more empathetic explanation. Maybe that person has a medical emergency and has to get to the hospital before something happens. The idea in the end, the idea of both gratitude and thought is empathetic, is to know that you cannot have control of the external events that happen in your life,

15:07 but that the meaning you want to give them is in your hands. Another idea to take advantage of the small pleasures of life. Normally, people who think too much miss the opportunity to taste those little pleasures simply because they are spinning too much and then enter into a mentality of scarcity. A little pleasure doesn' t have to be something expensive. All that matters is that it' s something you like. There' ll be people who like to take a bath at night. Others will like to go to the movies with a friend and others will like to read a book quietly without anyone bothering them or going out for a run in a park or in a forest. The whims are something individual These moments, small, moments of pleasure are individual.

16:00 But if we can create habits around those pleasures. So we' re automating our well- being without even thinking about it is the key. It' s just like companies. Companies want to automate their business models. You should try to automate your own well- being through habits. So, instead of weighing the pros and cons, taking a bath every night or going out for a run every afternoon, you have to have a pre- established philosophy that encourages you to enjoy that pleasure without guilt. And for that you have to challenge that inner voice that' s going to tell you that you don' t deserve it or that you should be doing something else. Forget about going out to eat in the open air one day anyone who makes alone wants to, even on a Tuesday, you have to automate your own well- being back again from habits that make you feel good without thinking too much about them.

17:06 So you already know how to think too much waste on your cognitive resources. It puts you under absolutely unnecessary stress and complicates your life. To overcome that bad habit, we must first be aware of it. Secondly, we need to start acting in accordance with values. Thirdly, we have to accept that we can be wrong and that if we do, we will learn from it. Fourth, we need to incorporate habits that allow us to enjoy the small pleasures of life. And fifth, whatever happens, whatever the result, be always grateful for the things we do have in our lives. If you liked this episode please give me like share social networks or visit three w dot ideas to live better. Point com there you will be able to subscribe and download completely free a copy of my latest book, Seven steps for a life with purpose and if you want to learn much more and train in personal development with the best experts, check out the free class master of personal development online ipp TE. I leave your link in the episode notes. Down there in the box, next to my books, and I' m just saying goodbye.

18:27 Thank you very much, as always and until the next ss ss ss ss ss s