May 8, 2026
"When Was the Last Time You Backed Up Your Work?" with Aasif Mandvi
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RSS Feed Aasif Mandvi returns to continue the conversation about this phenomenal episode. Aasif feels his wife is definitely a "Charlotte" but you may be surprised by which character he is most similar to!
Kristin has a revelation about rewatching the show that she has to share.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Kristen Davis, and I want to know are you a Charlotte?
00:00:10
Speaker 2: Welcome back everybody to Are You a Charlotte? Part two? Us of Mom vis here. Thanks for joining us.
00:00:16
Speaker 1: I'd love to get your opinion now on Miranda. Well, this is when Miranda's mom dies.
00:00:22
Speaker 3: So it's like, this is going by the way, this was a really good episode. I was like, actually, because I think it won an Emmy this episode.
00:00:30
Speaker 2: You know what, I don't know if it were if we should figure that out. I think it should have.
00:00:34
Speaker 3: Because it's incredible this episode, because I don't I think.
00:00:40
Speaker 1: Our whole season of the this year won.
00:00:45
Speaker 3: Thee Yeah, yeah, yeah, But I seem to remember this episode because you know how sometimes they'll submit certain episodes for the Emmys. Can't they don't watch the whole season, right?
00:00:57
Speaker 2: I think you picked three?
00:00:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I think this was such a great episode. It's written so well because.
00:01:07
Speaker 2: This was their first TV job.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Was it was their first script for our show and their first TV job advert.
00:01:13
Speaker 3: Because really it's really a well written show, and the thing is the way they tie things together, and to me that the episode is about grief and Miranda's character who her mom dies, and then that scene in the when she's putting on the she's trying on the different bra with the woman and it's just so heartbreaking and real. And then the whole thing with Samantha her orgasm, and you think, oh it is. On one level, you're like, oh, this just feels sort of like cartoonish almost, like you know, like you're having the whole those sex. And then you realize at the end that like, oh, she does it's all about I mean, you kind of know it is, but then when you cry at the funeral is good, it's like you realize, like, oh, that is what this is about. Absolutely, And so it's you know, and and how Charlotte is trying to like all.
00:02:13
Speaker 1: They called me the Martha Stewart of Death. Yeah, I know, I'd forgotten that too. They told me that yesterday. I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot that was what I was doing. It's interesting, and I agree.
00:02:25
Speaker 3: I knew even stopped dying. It's about grief. It's about she's losing everything, all the things, you know, So it's anyway.
00:02:33
Speaker 1: I knew intellectually that this was one of my top three favorite episodes ever, but I haven't ever rewatched these things because I used to spend just energy trying not to rewatch like it was on I just like, yeah, you know, don't live in the past. But now I have a podcast where I rewatched. So I was getting ready for Yesterday and we had two episodes we were doing Yesterday and Julie and Lisa were coming. I was doing my makeup as I was watching Huge Mistake because it's floored. Yeah, you know what I mean, especially now, so many years later, with so much more loss that we've experienced, you know, personally and collectively basically, but we were so innocent then in so many ways. But yet it's so powerful what they wrote and what we all did and how it came together.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: It's incredible.
00:03:19
Speaker 3: Is it hard? Is it interesting? It's hard? Is it hard for you to watch it and not? Like, can you watch it objectively? I guess and not in the show? Oh that was the day that I wasn't feeling well.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: I mean both, yes, right, because as actors, that is what we remember, right, we remember the details of the life our life, right, And definitely there's a lot of that in the earlier seasons. More so as we're getting into third season of fourth season where we did so many episodes like it's cuckoo crazy, like the ohhit, it's eighteen fourth season? How many was it third season?
00:03:57
Speaker 3: Hannah, it's a little in eighteen episodes on each that's crazy.
00:04:01
Speaker 2: You believe that they like, you know, like it was a different world. Yeah, it was just a fully different world.
00:04:06
Speaker 3: They were trying to do like a network work.
00:04:09
Speaker 1: Because back on I had been on Meloe's Place before this, as we were talking about earlier, I believe that we did thirty six episodes in the season of Melrose's Place. Yeah, wow, like like you have to actually think that through, Like, am I crazy?
00:04:23
Speaker 2: But no, I'm pretty sure that's.
00:04:27
Speaker 1: Exactly you had Christmas and like a couple of weeks in the summer. But also part of it was because the format was different, right, Like they didn't want you doing blocking, they didn't want you moving around, They wanted to cut in to this kind of a close up, right Like it was a specific format, whereas we were trying to do basically like a film. Yeah, you know, with so many short scenes tied together by her voiceover, and our hours were super crazy long as I know my listeners hear me talk about itself time, but you know, it was a much more ambitious. We were obviously overly ambitious in a wonderful way when I look back on it. At the time, I was watching it immediately because I was always so excited, like how did it turn out? And I was still learning myself, you know, like what worked and what do I feel like I.
00:05:11
Speaker 2: Could have done better?
00:05:12
Speaker 1: But also I was just a big fan at the time, right, Like I thought everything that we did was great. I think, with the exception of the first season, which we did before anything aired, and I felt like it was uneven.
00:05:22
Speaker 2: But when I look back on it, I love it.
00:05:24
Speaker 1: Right So now with all of this time, I definitely can be way more objective and more involved in the actual show, you know what I'm saying, like affected and like how a fan might feel. I don't think I can totally be a fan, of course, right because I still am thinking like, oh, yeah, those shoes really hurt. But I feel like I had a couple of weeks off because I was traveling, and then I came back and I watched the show and this warmth I just felt, like this incredible warmth like being with us, and of course I know them so it's a lot for me to but I feel like this is what the fans are and we're experiencing and that.
00:06:05
Speaker 2: Is so incredible to be a part of.
00:06:08
Speaker 1: You know.
00:06:09
Speaker 2: It's made me understand it better, the whole absolutely yeah thing of it.
00:06:13
Speaker 3: And it's great that, you know, because I think that when you have enough distance and time from it, you can actually watch it and enjoy it just for what it is.
00:06:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I laugh. Yeah, you know, I don't remember all.
00:06:27
Speaker 3: The stuff, right, you know, and it can surprise you again because so often you watch stuff and you're like, it's boring because I know exactly what happens.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: Right now, and I intellectually know what happens, but I don't remember all the stuff.
00:06:41
Speaker 2: And also I'm really.
00:06:42
Speaker 1: In it and I'm like, wait, wait, why did they break up again?
00:06:45
Speaker 2: Like what's happening?
00:06:47
Speaker 1: You know, even though intellectually I should know this, but you get so involved. Which brings me to my other relationship that I want to ask you about as a straight man.
00:06:55
Speaker 2: Uh huh, you're now representing all straight man. What do you think of Steve and Miranda?
00:07:02
Speaker 1: They're not so much prevalent in this, Like Steve shows up, which is very sweet for Miranda's mother's funeral. But do you remember their vibe? He's kind of less like you were talking about your wife being a lawyer.
00:07:15
Speaker 2: Do you remember.
00:07:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I said, I didn't watch all the episodes very like like, but I remember that character and he was a bit am I remember it correctly. I felt like he was a bit more of like a he was less alpha. He's a beta right like but but like like so it's interesting because Miranda's Miranda is so strong and so put together and so like sort of on top of everything, and he seemed a little bit more It's a kid, yeah, like a little kid, you know, which is another dynamic that that is is quite you see all the.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: Time they struggle with it.
00:08:05
Speaker 1: It's interesting like she's like, no, I'm not going to do that, but he just keeps coming and he's so open and she needs.
00:08:12
Speaker 3: And she needs that, she needs somebody who is going to break through all of that, you know.
00:08:18
Speaker 2: He does. It's kind of fascinating.
00:08:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sometimes it's true, and I think it's it's it's true. Like like my wife is, like I said to you earlier, is a very accomplished woman who is and and sometimes has difficulty being vulnerable and being uh you know, like like the thing that she's really dealing with is not the thing that she's actually talking about, like like like there's a there's a it's hard for her to have to just sort of go, you know sometimes because she's not a fall apart kind of pushing.
00:08:57
Speaker 2: She's with an actor.
00:09:00
Speaker 3: She's with Yeah, so when she's with me, I am always looking for that, you know, and yeah, and and and and part of the you know, the dynamic has been for me to recognize that what I see is not all that there is, do you know what I mean? It's like the thing that she's showing me is not and to have and to have an understanding of that, like and sometimes I'm good at it and I'm not just good at it. I do feel like it is just like I have my circle the drain thing, Like that's the thing that she has, which is that she's a little bit more like that, like she's like I can't I'm not going to fall apart or I'm not going to I'm gonna like like I need to control things. I need to make me saying, you know, like I'm.
00:09:49
Speaker 4: Not like those vulnerability Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like the vulnerability is yeah, I mean she's a virgo, you know, so she's loved.
00:09:59
Speaker 2: The verse goes, Oh I love the.
00:10:01
Speaker 3: Virgo double virgo.
00:10:04
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, what do you.
00:10:05
Speaker 3: I'm a Pisces, so yeah, you're a pink.
00:10:08
Speaker 1: I know in so many like birthday twenty third, February twenty third.
00:10:13
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm a February price price.
00:10:16
Speaker 2: Oh there's such debate.
00:10:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I know you're right on the cusp.
00:10:21
Speaker 2: I know we're going to show us a lot, but I have no I read a querus.
00:10:25
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm nothing because I have Pisces, sun, Pisces, move, PCEs.
00:10:30
Speaker 3: Oh my god, so many we're getting into this now, ice, the moon, anywhere else.
00:10:35
Speaker 1: Something else like mercury or I get mixed up. But the only thing that I have that's not Pisces is I have aries rising.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: Oh wow, thank god, Okay, thank god.
00:10:47
Speaker 3: I'm saying. Yeah, So that's how you present the world, is it? Do you think that's what I That's what I have understood? Is it?
00:10:54
Speaker 4: Like?
00:10:54
Speaker 3: The sun sign is way Wait, if you go down this road, you believe in this?
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Why not?
00:10:59
Speaker 3: The sun sign is who you are. Your moon sign is how you see yourself and your rising sign is how you present sometimes in the world.
00:11:07
Speaker 2: Which makes sense, you know. I do think that people do feel like.
00:11:10
Speaker 1: I'm a p Icey's though, which I'm glad because I do really feel like I'm a p Icey. Yeah, I feel like you know, sometimes I don't want to leave my house or the garden. I want to look at the sunset. If it were up to me, all I would post on Instagram would be pictures of the sunrise and the sunset and bodies.
00:11:28
Speaker 2: Of water, right right, right, sure, it would be so much fun. I have to function, yeah, I have to get it.
00:11:35
Speaker 3: Prices are incredibly like where my son is a pricey fantastic and we're highly emotional. We actually are often found in artistic thank God world, because we have real sensitivity and we have real access to our own emotions and all that stuff. In a good way and sometimes in a bad way, but you know, yeah, we are. We're natural performers.
00:12:04
Speaker 2: Sometimes that's true as well. That's true as well.
00:12:17
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go too far into this, but what my most longest relationship was with a virgo man, so I totally think it's good.
00:12:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, Virgo and prices are directly opposite of each other, yes, and they uh, you know, they kind of balance out the other side of it, but they also so in the best way, She's all the things that I'm not, and I'm all the things that she's not, and then on the struggle side, the things that she is and the things that I like, like her thing also scares the shit out of me sometimes, and my thing scares the ship out of her because she's very like she can be very absolutist things and very kind of like, this is the way it is. This is very wrong, right, good, bad, and pisces are like, you know, it's all relative.
00:13:11
Speaker 1: When we can see both sides, I can be like, well, yes, but the other side is.
00:13:16
Speaker 3: Or just like, but you know, it's all relative, right, And we are such relativists. And one of the biggest arguments of my wife and I ever got into was like about relativism versus absolutism, because she was like you because she was like, you're relativist, so how can I? And this was so funny cause she was like this early in our relationship, when we're first dating, she was like, how can I How can I trust that you will feel any the same way tomorrow, Like tomorrow you could go, you could wake up and go and go. I don't want this anymore, Like how can I depend on you? And I was like, and I was at the time, I wouldn't say this today, but like because I'm smarter, but like at the time, I was like, I was like, yeah, I mean tomorrow I could. But isn't that true about everything in life? And she was like I can't be with you, like you're totally undependable, like like you're I don't know where you're going to be. It was like an episode of Sex and the City. It was like she was like, so like, oh my god, if I can't depend on you to be here forever, and yeah, you know what I mean. And I was like coming from it, like we can't depend on anything. We don't even know the world is going to be here. This is so you know, like what are you talking about to me? It was like it was like she was just like talking some other language and she was going, wait, but I need you to say that I'm here. I'm the certainty, absolutism, the certainty. And I was like, I'm water, like I just flew.
00:14:46
Speaker 2: I don't know you can go anywhere any time. It's so true.
00:14:50
Speaker 3: It's like that George Harrison song you know another exactly yeah, you know.
00:14:58
Speaker 2: Which is like you know he said across the universe.
00:15:00
Speaker 3: I don't know what is it. The lyric is. The lyric is you asked me, well, my love so good?
00:15:12
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:15:14
Speaker 3: I don't know. That's such a song, such.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: A I'm not even in a relationship, and you're reminding me of all the reasons why because sometimes you're like, I don't know, I don't know. No, I have my children, and I do know.
00:15:30
Speaker 3: That's the thing. There's when when it's your kid, it's different because you're like, I'm like in it for the there's no soul combined. Yes, yes, and and uh yeah, it's a different thing. Like like you realize that like once you get when you have a child, you're like, well, I'm in this forever and it doesn't matter, like there's no no, there's no way, you know, and and and that is the thing you realize about when you're married as well, like you go like, oh, like either one of us would would throw the other one under a bus for him, like like like like if she came down to it to cheer, you had to cheer, I mean.
00:16:13
Speaker 1: And I also really kind of respect that, and I would imagine she does too, right, because you've made this thing together.
00:16:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's you know, and and that is the I mean, that is and in a weird way, like it's our son benefits from the fact that my wife and I are such opposite. Yes we're not entirely maybe it sound like we're so great. There's a lot of overlap and there's a lot of areas where we are actually quite similar because it finally she has a prices.
00:16:38
Speaker 2: Moon yay, so you know that's good.
00:16:42
Speaker 3: She sees herself as you know, like it's interesting like that's so there's a lot of overlap in that way. But he gets the benefit of of my sort of uh, you know, creativity and sort of like it's all fine, it's all right, and then her kind of like, no, we have to be on time at school, and I'm like, everybody's a little bit late.
00:17:05
Speaker 2: So funny.
00:17:06
Speaker 1: I think my aris rising helps me with that a little bit, right because and also like when I did decide to be a single mom, I was like, oh, I've got to I've got to try to ground myself to the planet Earth because that's what these kids need, right, I really work at that.
00:17:20
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it is that and you and you know, look, there are sometimes that I'm just like, you gotta you gotta put your shoes on at some point, like at some point today, we have to get the shoes on.
00:17:35
Speaker 1: That's a joy for a kid, because I feel like our world is all about like here here, here, here, do this?
00:17:41
Speaker 3: Do that?
00:17:41
Speaker 2: Go faster? It's great. No a parent that's going to give you some breathing room.
00:17:46
Speaker 3: I tried to, and what I've realized is that it's you know, I I had a kid later in life, so me too, and so I'm like, you know, like you get a little and sort of jaded, and he's sort of like seen it all like like but then you go, oh right, like he's just in this play My son is is in play mode all the time. He's in his imaginary Like he got up this morning and decided he was, uh, he has this little box of band aids, like like kiddie band aids, and he was like, I'm the band aid man. And he's like running around the house screaming I'm the band aid man. Does anybody need a band aid? Is anybody hurt? And so, and we're just trying to like go like, dude, you just gotta get your shoes on. And he's like I'm the band aid. And I'm like, oh, you know, like he's in his own like imaginary world and it's a beautiful thing. And but it's that balance of like that is beautiful and I love you because of all that. And at the same time, we do.
00:18:53
Speaker 2: Have to totally.
00:18:57
Speaker 1: And also with my own self, right, you know what I mean, Like, you know, especially like when I have to do things like where I have to look back, I can just go back, like yesterday when I was having to rewatch this, I'm just back there. But then I'm also here with all the loss that we've had. Thus, Julian and Lisa come and I cried like five times.
00:19:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean.
00:19:18
Speaker 1: But I love them and it's fine, and my sweet listeners put up with me. But then you're here and you have your whole your whole life, which is fascinating and joy, you know, and we can go there, which is also wonderful, right, And the show has all those things in it and also was so long ago.
00:19:36
Speaker 2: But it's still alive.
00:19:37
Speaker 3: It's an interest. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.
00:19:39
Speaker 2: I mean it's all very interesting.
00:19:42
Speaker 3: You get to like sort of revisit it and process through all that again.
00:19:46
Speaker 2: Wait, I have a question. Are you a Charlotte as Oh?
00:19:53
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm as Charlotte. I don't think I am a show who do you think you are? Maybe I'm more of a Harry.
00:20:00
Speaker 2: I kind of think you could be a carry Yeah like that, a.
00:20:04
Speaker 3: Little bit more neurotic and sort of you know, but unsure.
00:20:09
Speaker 2: She's figuring things out. She's curious.
00:20:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I'm a writer as well, so you know, I'm just yeah, I don't think I'm as fastidious as as as Charlotte.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: Well listen, neither am I you know.
00:20:22
Speaker 1: I mean she's very That's why I feel like she's a virgo. But I don't think she technically is a virgo. But like she seems like a seems like a virgo, doesn't she. I agree, I agree, totally.
00:20:33
Speaker 3: She seems but then she seems like a virgo with a piscist.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: Moon definitely like you're wife.
00:20:39
Speaker 3: Maybe my wife is a Charlotte.
00:20:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's very good.
00:20:44
Speaker 3: She's very good at entertaining so well, and Charlotte I think is very good, very into entertaining. Yeah, yeah, so that's true. So there you got.
00:20:53
Speaker 2: Many many connections. I like it.
00:20:56
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for being here.
00:20:58
Speaker 2: I can't wait to watch your Yeah please don at your Wife Super Curious.
00:21:03
Speaker 3: On Broadway and Fallen Angels until June seventh, amazing, and then we never really talked about it. But I have another show, a horror show, All Terror, Devil and Silver. It's coming out on May seventh, AMC Plus and Shudder, and then later in the year it will come out on regular AMC. But it's like it's like a.
00:21:23
Speaker 2: Well scary, scary, like you've been only working.
00:21:27
Speaker 3: I know it does sleep that way. And I was saying you before, Yeah, it's like everything comes out at once and then you just everywhere take it.
00:21:35
Speaker 2: I'm like house, just say thank you, thank you, it's going it's going on, and I'm so happy for you.
00:21:43
Speaker 3: Thank you.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: Yes, thanks, So I want you to be on Gilded Age as well.
00:21:46
Speaker 3: I do too.
00:21:46
Speaker 4: Yes,
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Kristen Davis, and I want to know are you a Charlotte?
00:00:10
Speaker 2: Welcome back everybody to Are You a Charlotte? Part two? Us of Mom vis here. Thanks for joining us.
00:00:16
Speaker 1: I'd love to get your opinion now on Miranda. Well, this is when Miranda's mom dies.
00:00:22
Speaker 3: So it's like, this is going by the way, this was a really good episode. I was like, actually, because I think it won an Emmy this episode.
00:00:30
Speaker 2: You know what, I don't know if it were if we should figure that out. I think it should have.
00:00:34
Speaker 3: Because it's incredible this episode, because I don't I think.
00:00:40
Speaker 1: Our whole season of the this year won.
00:00:45
Speaker 3: Thee Yeah, yeah, yeah, But I seem to remember this episode because you know how sometimes they'll submit certain episodes for the Emmys. Can't they don't watch the whole season, right?
00:00:57
Speaker 2: I think you picked three?
00:00:59
Speaker 3: Yeah, And so I think this was such a great episode. It's written so well because.
00:01:07
Speaker 2: This was their first TV job.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Was it was their first script for our show and their first TV job advert.
00:01:13
Speaker 3: Because really it's really a well written show, and the thing is the way they tie things together, and to me that the episode is about grief and Miranda's character who her mom dies, and then that scene in the when she's putting on the she's trying on the different bra with the woman and it's just so heartbreaking and real. And then the whole thing with Samantha her orgasm, and you think, oh it is. On one level, you're like, oh, this just feels sort of like cartoonish almost, like you know, like you're having the whole those sex. And then you realize at the end that like, oh, she does it's all about I mean, you kind of know it is, but then when you cry at the funeral is good, it's like you realize, like, oh, that is what this is about. Absolutely, And so it's you know, and and how Charlotte is trying to like all.
00:02:13
Speaker 1: They called me the Martha Stewart of Death. Yeah, I know, I'd forgotten that too. They told me that yesterday. I was like, oh, yeah, I forgot that was what I was doing. It's interesting, and I agree.
00:02:25
Speaker 3: I knew even stopped dying. It's about grief. It's about she's losing everything, all the things, you know, So it's anyway.
00:02:33
Speaker 1: I knew intellectually that this was one of my top three favorite episodes ever, but I haven't ever rewatched these things because I used to spend just energy trying not to rewatch like it was on I just like, yeah, you know, don't live in the past. But now I have a podcast where I rewatched. So I was getting ready for Yesterday and we had two episodes we were doing Yesterday and Julie and Lisa were coming. I was doing my makeup as I was watching Huge Mistake because it's floored. Yeah, you know what I mean, especially now, so many years later, with so much more loss that we've experienced, you know, personally and collectively basically, but we were so innocent then in so many ways. But yet it's so powerful what they wrote and what we all did and how it came together.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: It's incredible.
00:03:19
Speaker 3: Is it hard? Is it interesting? It's hard? Is it hard for you to watch it and not? Like, can you watch it objectively? I guess and not in the show? Oh that was the day that I wasn't feeling well.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: I mean both, yes, right, because as actors, that is what we remember, right, we remember the details of the life our life, right, And definitely there's a lot of that in the earlier seasons. More so as we're getting into third season of fourth season where we did so many episodes like it's cuckoo crazy, like the ohhit, it's eighteen fourth season? How many was it third season?
00:03:57
Speaker 3: Hannah, it's a little in eighteen episodes on each that's crazy.
00:04:01
Speaker 2: You believe that they like, you know, like it was a different world. Yeah, it was just a fully different world.
00:04:06
Speaker 3: They were trying to do like a network work.
00:04:09
Speaker 1: Because back on I had been on Meloe's Place before this, as we were talking about earlier, I believe that we did thirty six episodes in the season of Melrose's Place. Yeah, wow, like like you have to actually think that through, Like, am I crazy?
00:04:23
Speaker 2: But no, I'm pretty sure that's.
00:04:27
Speaker 1: Exactly you had Christmas and like a couple of weeks in the summer. But also part of it was because the format was different, right, Like they didn't want you doing blocking, they didn't want you moving around, They wanted to cut in to this kind of a close up, right Like it was a specific format, whereas we were trying to do basically like a film. Yeah, you know, with so many short scenes tied together by her voiceover, and our hours were super crazy long as I know my listeners hear me talk about itself time, but you know, it was a much more ambitious. We were obviously overly ambitious in a wonderful way when I look back on it. At the time, I was watching it immediately because I was always so excited, like how did it turn out? And I was still learning myself, you know, like what worked and what do I feel like I.
00:05:11
Speaker 2: Could have done better?
00:05:12
Speaker 1: But also I was just a big fan at the time, right, Like I thought everything that we did was great. I think, with the exception of the first season, which we did before anything aired, and I felt like it was uneven.
00:05:22
Speaker 2: But when I look back on it, I love it.
00:05:24
Speaker 1: Right So now with all of this time, I definitely can be way more objective and more involved in the actual show, you know what I'm saying, like affected and like how a fan might feel. I don't think I can totally be a fan, of course, right because I still am thinking like, oh, yeah, those shoes really hurt. But I feel like I had a couple of weeks off because I was traveling, and then I came back and I watched the show and this warmth I just felt, like this incredible warmth like being with us, and of course I know them so it's a lot for me to but I feel like this is what the fans are and we're experiencing and that.
00:06:05
Speaker 2: Is so incredible to be a part of.
00:06:08
Speaker 1: You know.
00:06:09
Speaker 2: It's made me understand it better, the whole absolutely yeah thing of it.
00:06:13
Speaker 3: And it's great that, you know, because I think that when you have enough distance and time from it, you can actually watch it and enjoy it just for what it is.
00:06:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like I laugh. Yeah, you know, I don't remember all.
00:06:27
Speaker 3: The stuff, right, you know, and it can surprise you again because so often you watch stuff and you're like, it's boring because I know exactly what happens.
00:06:37
Speaker 1: Right now, and I intellectually know what happens, but I don't remember all the stuff.
00:06:41
Speaker 2: And also I'm really.
00:06:42
Speaker 1: In it and I'm like, wait, wait, why did they break up again?
00:06:45
Speaker 2: Like what's happening?
00:06:47
Speaker 1: You know, even though intellectually I should know this, but you get so involved. Which brings me to my other relationship that I want to ask you about as a straight man.
00:06:55
Speaker 2: Uh huh, you're now representing all straight man. What do you think of Steve and Miranda?
00:07:02
Speaker 1: They're not so much prevalent in this, Like Steve shows up, which is very sweet for Miranda's mother's funeral. But do you remember their vibe? He's kind of less like you were talking about your wife being a lawyer.
00:07:15
Speaker 2: Do you remember.
00:07:16
Speaker 3: Yeah, like I said, I didn't watch all the episodes very like like, but I remember that character and he was a bit am I remember it correctly. I felt like he was a bit more of like a he was less alpha. He's a beta right like but but like like so it's interesting because Miranda's Miranda is so strong and so put together and so like sort of on top of everything, and he seemed a little bit more It's a kid, yeah, like a little kid, you know, which is another dynamic that that is is quite you see all the.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: Time they struggle with it.
00:08:05
Speaker 1: It's interesting like she's like, no, I'm not going to do that, but he just keeps coming and he's so open and she needs.
00:08:12
Speaker 3: And she needs that, she needs somebody who is going to break through all of that, you know.
00:08:18
Speaker 2: He does. It's kind of fascinating.
00:08:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's sometimes it's true, and I think it's it's it's true. Like like my wife is, like I said to you earlier, is a very accomplished woman who is and and sometimes has difficulty being vulnerable and being uh you know, like like the thing that she's really dealing with is not the thing that she's actually talking about, like like like there's a there's a it's hard for her to have to just sort of go, you know sometimes because she's not a fall apart kind of pushing.
00:08:57
Speaker 2: She's with an actor.
00:09:00
Speaker 3: She's with Yeah, so when she's with me, I am always looking for that, you know, and yeah, and and and and part of the you know, the dynamic has been for me to recognize that what I see is not all that there is, do you know what I mean? It's like the thing that she's showing me is not and to have and to have an understanding of that, like and sometimes I'm good at it and I'm not just good at it. I do feel like it is just like I have my circle the drain thing, Like that's the thing that she has, which is that she's a little bit more like that, like she's like I can't I'm not going to fall apart or I'm not going to I'm gonna like like I need to control things. I need to make me saying, you know, like I'm.
00:09:49
Speaker 4: Not like those vulnerability Yeah, yeah, yeah, but like the vulnerability is yeah, I mean she's a virgo, you know, so she's loved.
00:09:59
Speaker 2: The verse goes, Oh I love the.
00:10:01
Speaker 3: Virgo double virgo.
00:10:04
Speaker 2: Oh interesting, what do you.
00:10:05
Speaker 3: I'm a Pisces, so yeah, you're a pink.
00:10:08
Speaker 1: I know in so many like birthday twenty third, February twenty third.
00:10:13
Speaker 3: Oh, I'm a February price price.
00:10:16
Speaker 2: Oh there's such debate.
00:10:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I know you're right on the cusp.
00:10:21
Speaker 2: I know we're going to show us a lot, but I have no I read a querus.
00:10:25
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm nothing because I have Pisces, sun, Pisces, move, PCEs.
00:10:30
Speaker 3: Oh my god, so many we're getting into this now, ice, the moon, anywhere else.
00:10:35
Speaker 1: Something else like mercury or I get mixed up. But the only thing that I have that's not Pisces is I have aries rising.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: Oh wow, thank god, Okay, thank god.
00:10:47
Speaker 3: I'm saying. Yeah, So that's how you present the world, is it? Do you think that's what I That's what I have understood? Is it?
00:10:54
Speaker 4: Like?
00:10:54
Speaker 3: The sun sign is way Wait, if you go down this road, you believe in this?
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Why not?
00:10:59
Speaker 3: The sun sign is who you are. Your moon sign is how you see yourself and your rising sign is how you present sometimes in the world.
00:11:07
Speaker 2: Which makes sense, you know. I do think that people do feel like.
00:11:10
Speaker 1: I'm a p Icey's though, which I'm glad because I do really feel like I'm a p Icey. Yeah, I feel like you know, sometimes I don't want to leave my house or the garden. I want to look at the sunset. If it were up to me, all I would post on Instagram would be pictures of the sunrise and the sunset and bodies.
00:11:28
Speaker 2: Of water, right right, right, sure, it would be so much fun. I have to function, yeah, I have to get it.
00:11:35
Speaker 3: Prices are incredibly like where my son is a pricey fantastic and we're highly emotional. We actually are often found in artistic thank God world, because we have real sensitivity and we have real access to our own emotions and all that stuff. In a good way and sometimes in a bad way, but you know, yeah, we are. We're natural performers.
00:12:04
Speaker 2: Sometimes that's true as well. That's true as well.
00:12:17
Speaker 1: I'm not going to go too far into this, but what my most longest relationship was with a virgo man, so I totally think it's good.
00:12:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, Well, Virgo and prices are directly opposite of each other, yes, and they uh, you know, they kind of balance out the other side of it, but they also so in the best way, She's all the things that I'm not, and I'm all the things that she's not, and then on the struggle side, the things that she is and the things that I like, like her thing also scares the shit out of me sometimes, and my thing scares the ship out of her because she's very like she can be very absolutist things and very kind of like, this is the way it is. This is very wrong, right, good, bad, and pisces are like, you know, it's all relative.
00:13:11
Speaker 1: When we can see both sides, I can be like, well, yes, but the other side is.
00:13:16
Speaker 3: Or just like, but you know, it's all relative, right, And we are such relativists. And one of the biggest arguments of my wife and I ever got into was like about relativism versus absolutism, because she was like you because she was like, you're relativist, so how can I? And this was so funny cause she was like this early in our relationship, when we're first dating, she was like, how can I How can I trust that you will feel any the same way tomorrow, Like tomorrow you could go, you could wake up and go and go. I don't want this anymore, Like how can I depend on you? And I was like, and I was at the time, I wouldn't say this today, but like because I'm smarter, but like at the time, I was like, I was like, yeah, I mean tomorrow I could. But isn't that true about everything in life? And she was like I can't be with you, like you're totally undependable, like like you're I don't know where you're going to be. It was like an episode of Sex and the City. It was like she was like, so like, oh my god, if I can't depend on you to be here forever, and yeah, you know what I mean. And I was like coming from it, like we can't depend on anything. We don't even know the world is going to be here. This is so you know, like what are you talking about to me? It was like it was like she was just like talking some other language and she was going, wait, but I need you to say that I'm here. I'm the certainty, absolutism, the certainty. And I was like, I'm water, like I just flew.
00:14:46
Speaker 2: I don't know you can go anywhere any time. It's so true.
00:14:50
Speaker 3: It's like that George Harrison song you know another exactly yeah, you know.
00:14:58
Speaker 2: Which is like you know he said across the universe.
00:15:00
Speaker 3: I don't know what is it. The lyric is. The lyric is you asked me, well, my love so good?
00:15:12
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:15:14
Speaker 3: I don't know. That's such a song, such.
00:15:18
Speaker 1: A I'm not even in a relationship, and you're reminding me of all the reasons why because sometimes you're like, I don't know, I don't know. No, I have my children, and I do know.
00:15:30
Speaker 3: That's the thing. There's when when it's your kid, it's different because you're like, I'm like in it for the there's no soul combined. Yes, yes, and and uh yeah, it's a different thing. Like like you realize that like once you get when you have a child, you're like, well, I'm in this forever and it doesn't matter, like there's no no, there's no way, you know, and and and that is the thing you realize about when you're married as well, like you go like, oh, like either one of us would would throw the other one under a bus for him, like like like like if she came down to it to cheer, you had to cheer, I mean.
00:16:13
Speaker 1: And I also really kind of respect that, and I would imagine she does too, right, because you've made this thing together.
00:16:19
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, it's you know, and and that is the I mean, that is and in a weird way, like it's our son benefits from the fact that my wife and I are such opposite. Yes we're not entirely maybe it sound like we're so great. There's a lot of overlap and there's a lot of areas where we are actually quite similar because it finally she has a prices.
00:16:38
Speaker 2: Moon yay, so you know that's good.
00:16:42
Speaker 3: She sees herself as you know, like it's interesting like that's so there's a lot of overlap in that way. But he gets the benefit of of my sort of uh, you know, creativity and sort of like it's all fine, it's all right, and then her kind of like, no, we have to be on time at school, and I'm like, everybody's a little bit late.
00:17:05
Speaker 2: So funny.
00:17:06
Speaker 1: I think my aris rising helps me with that a little bit, right because and also like when I did decide to be a single mom, I was like, oh, I've got to I've got to try to ground myself to the planet Earth because that's what these kids need, right, I really work at that.
00:17:20
Speaker 3: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, I mean it is that and you and you know, look, there are sometimes that I'm just like, you gotta you gotta put your shoes on at some point, like at some point today, we have to get the shoes on.
00:17:35
Speaker 1: That's a joy for a kid, because I feel like our world is all about like here here, here, here, do this?
00:17:41
Speaker 3: Do that?
00:17:41
Speaker 2: Go faster? It's great. No a parent that's going to give you some breathing room.
00:17:46
Speaker 3: I tried to, and what I've realized is that it's you know, I I had a kid later in life, so me too, and so I'm like, you know, like you get a little and sort of jaded, and he's sort of like seen it all like like but then you go, oh right, like he's just in this play My son is is in play mode all the time. He's in his imaginary Like he got up this morning and decided he was, uh, he has this little box of band aids, like like kiddie band aids, and he was like, I'm the band aid man. And he's like running around the house screaming I'm the band aid man. Does anybody need a band aid? Is anybody hurt? And so, and we're just trying to like go like, dude, you just gotta get your shoes on. And he's like I'm the band aid. And I'm like, oh, you know, like he's in his own like imaginary world and it's a beautiful thing. And but it's that balance of like that is beautiful and I love you because of all that. And at the same time, we do.
00:18:53
Speaker 2: Have to totally.
00:18:57
Speaker 1: And also with my own self, right, you know what I mean, Like, you know, especially like when I have to do things like where I have to look back, I can just go back, like yesterday when I was having to rewatch this, I'm just back there. But then I'm also here with all the loss that we've had. Thus, Julian and Lisa come and I cried like five times.
00:19:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know what I mean.
00:19:18
Speaker 1: But I love them and it's fine, and my sweet listeners put up with me. But then you're here and you have your whole your whole life, which is fascinating and joy, you know, and we can go there, which is also wonderful, right, And the show has all those things in it and also was so long ago.
00:19:36
Speaker 2: But it's still alive.
00:19:37
Speaker 3: It's an interest. Yeah, yeah, right, yeah.
00:19:39
Speaker 2: I mean it's all very interesting.
00:19:42
Speaker 3: You get to like sort of revisit it and process through all that again.
00:19:46
Speaker 2: Wait, I have a question. Are you a Charlotte as Oh?
00:19:53
Speaker 3: I don't know if I'm as Charlotte. I don't think I am a show who do you think you are? Maybe I'm more of a Harry.
00:20:00
Speaker 2: I kind of think you could be a carry Yeah like that, a.
00:20:04
Speaker 3: Little bit more neurotic and sort of you know, but unsure.
00:20:09
Speaker 2: She's figuring things out. She's curious.
00:20:11
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, And I'm a writer as well, so you know, I'm just yeah, I don't think I'm as fastidious as as as Charlotte.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: Well listen, neither am I you know.
00:20:22
Speaker 1: I mean she's very That's why I feel like she's a virgo. But I don't think she technically is a virgo. But like she seems like a seems like a virgo, doesn't she. I agree, I agree, totally.
00:20:33
Speaker 3: She seems but then she seems like a virgo with a piscist.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: Moon definitely like you're wife.
00:20:39
Speaker 3: Maybe my wife is a Charlotte.
00:20:41
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's very good.
00:20:44
Speaker 3: She's very good at entertaining so well, and Charlotte I think is very good, very into entertaining. Yeah, yeah, so that's true. So there you got.
00:20:53
Speaker 2: Many many connections. I like it.
00:20:56
Speaker 3: Thank you so much for being here.
00:20:58
Speaker 2: I can't wait to watch your Yeah please don at your Wife Super Curious.
00:21:03
Speaker 3: On Broadway and Fallen Angels until June seventh, amazing, and then we never really talked about it. But I have another show, a horror show, All Terror, Devil and Silver. It's coming out on May seventh, AMC Plus and Shudder, and then later in the year it will come out on regular AMC. But it's like it's like a.
00:21:23
Speaker 2: Well scary, scary, like you've been only working.
00:21:27
Speaker 3: I know it does sleep that way. And I was saying you before, Yeah, it's like everything comes out at once and then you just everywhere take it.
00:21:35
Speaker 2: I'm like house, just say thank you, thank you, it's going it's going on, and I'm so happy for you.
00:21:43
Speaker 3: Thank you.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: Yes, thanks, So I want you to be on Gilded Age as well.
00:21:46
Speaker 3: I do too.
00:21:46
Speaker 4: Yes,