Trey Couldn’t Get It Up (S3 E12 "Don't Ask Don't Tell")

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Speaker 1: Hi. I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know are you a Charlotte? All right, everybody, Hello, Hello, Hi, Hi, we are here. We are going to just do a little bit more recapping. We just talked to the lovely and intelligent Clark Greg who was really, really fun. He's in this episode. This episode is called Don't Ask, Don't Tell. It aired in two thousand, the year two thousand and it is such a massive, massive episode written by Cindy Shupack, directed by Daniel Grant. So we're just going to recap a little bit more because so many things happen and I just didn't want to skip over any of them. So first of all, let's talk Charlotte and Trey. So, as I'm rewatching this episode, I did not remember it. In the so many things that I did not remember, Like what I remember most is the wedding itself. You know, it was such a long, long day and everyone fell asleep but me and I was so happy and running around and Kyle was so adorable, and I remember being so incredibly stressed about how I had to tell Carrie that he couldn't get it up, that Trey couldn't get it up because that was kind of like this big, you know moment where we had been, you know, wondering and waiting. I also completely forgot that I get drunk in like the night before. It's also weird because I thought we went out and I wore like a like a tirro like bride's maid thing or whatever, like a what do you call it, like a veil, like how women do when they're going to get married. I thought that we had done that. Like I have so many different ideas in my head than what we actually did. I thought that we all go out for like the night before, like a bachelorette party or whatever, but we don't. It's interesting. I do Charlotte managed somehow to get drunk, which is interesting also, but no one else really seemed as drunk, and it looks like we're just at like a restaurant or a coffee shop. I don't understand what happened in this plot, meaning why doesn't Charlotte have a bachelorette party? And in my mind I did, but clearly it was only in my mind because it's not in the episode. And I'm wearing this really adorable sparkly sweater, which I think I still own. Which is also weird. I don't know why I'm wearing that. I mean, I love it, but it's just funny that I'm wearing my own sweater and I'm drinking and no one else is. And then and I'm you know, kind of obviously tipsy and talking about how I'm going to finally get to have sex with my you know, hot fiance slash you know, soon to be husband, and they're all just kind of, you know, giggling at me or whatever. And in that scene, I don't remember any of it, right, not one little bit. Oh, and I didn't also remember the rehearsal dinner. And it's cute because they're all over there at that other table, Like why did I see them so far away from me? It's so interesting. There's so many interesting things going on, and they talk about how happy I am, and I think, yes, Charlotte is very, very happy. But then we go to the vera wang where we're trying on the bridesmaid's dresses, and I really felt the tension. I did not remember that I'm going to end up fighting with Samantha, but I felt the tension and I was like, wow, it's so tense. And then we get into this little argument and it's kind of scary. I felt worried watching it because she wants to make her dress shorter, which I also think is relating that this whole thing about this, the whole debate we've had about whether Charlotte's bridesmaids should actually be wearing bridesmaid's type dresses or more sex and the City type dresses and be kind of individually expressing themselves. So that was actually going on behind the scenes. So it's kind of funny that Samantha it says that she wants to make her dress shorter, and then Charlotte says, well, this whole week is supposed to be about me, and Miranda really kind of cuttingly says, it's a day, you get a day. I mean, all of it is so interesting to me, and I think really rings true because I think when people get married, everyone does kind of lose their mind a little bit, and people can get really focused on kind of small details and feel very stressed about it. So that kind of reminded me of just like the reality of weddings or whatever. But I also felt really nervous because I didn't remember any of these scenes, so I thought what's gonna happen. What's gonna happen? Then, So we're out at this bizarre last night out as single ladies, and I'm drinking apparently, you know, by myself. I tell everybody that I haven't had sex with Trey yet, which is also funny that they somehow didn't know. I thought that I was more open about this wacky plan that Charlotte had had, but I guess I wasn't, and they're really shocked, and Samantha very smartly says, Honey, before you drive the car, take it for a test drive. I mean, yeah, like it's a bit. It's a bit kind of I guess, like naive and just hoping for the best. But also I kind of understand because obviously they've been making out and doing other things because I think we see a previous episode where he tells me that he loves me, and I believe I pull him into my apartment and something happens in the sexual universe. So it's not like it's not like she hasn't, you know, done anything with him, but yes, it is a little bit. It's kind of a perfect Charlotte thing where she just has this ideal and she's going to try to live up to the ideal, even though it's not very practical, right, So they're all shocked, of course, and then I get drunk, and I'm all excited that I get to finally sleep with you know, Trey, because he's obviously incredibly sexy and you know, handsome and charming and all the things that Kyle is, So you know, I get it. I get it. So then we cut to in the Charlotte universe, we cut to I'm at the church. I'm waiting carries late, which of course is really stressing Charlotte. Charlotte looks really stressed. This is what I think of myself when I'm watching. I'm wondering. I think it's a it's a kind of a tight wire act that Charlotte's doing between the focus on the wedding, the you know, the ceremony, the dress, everything being beautiful and perfect, and then like what she knows underneath. And there's times where I see it and I and I was pleased with that, like when I'm waiting for Carrie and I'm really nervous and I look like I might cry, which I think makes perfect sense, and then I look like I want to talk to her, but then it kind of cuts him cuts away for a second, and I look kind of okay, and I'm wondering if maybe I didn't remember in that moment, or if it's just Charlotte's like like doesn't know, Like, am I just fine? Am I gonna be fine? Because I think that's what Charlotte would like to do, is just be like, I'm fine, I'm fying, nothing's bothering me. And then like as an actor, like, am I holding all the things at every moment that I should be holding as an actor? Right? So that's what I think of when I watch myself. I don't know if that's interesting or not. That's what I think. But then the other thing that really cracked me up is that apparently that's my dad walking me down the aisle. Apparently Charlotte has dad, but we don't ever get to meet him, and I do not remember him one little bit. You guys, I feel really bad. The actor looks just lovely and like just exactly how I think Charlotte's dad should look. But what I remember was the incredible stress I had about this moment where I tell carry where I had to I had to like pull my veil off my face, which seemed really hard to do because it was very long, and I had to do it kind of in a hurry because she's already tried to walk down the aisle at this incredibly beautiful church we were at that was up up north, like right on the edge of Harlem, so gorgeous, so gorgeously designed. Our set deck people just I mean, it's so perfect and beautiful and exactly you know what Charlotte would want, and I think what what Trey would want slash, you know, Scottish vibe, and I remember the stress. I was super stressed about how to pull that moment off of, you know, basically pulling her off. You know, she's walking down the aisle and pulling her back and telling her like he can't get it up, Trey can't get it up. I was very, very worried about that. And at the time that had happened, we had an ad I'm not going to say her name. She was a woman first, a d and she was sitting on a ladder right behind us, and she laughed out loud on my close up the first time I did it, and we had to cut it didn't it wasn't usable and I was so mad because I had been so stressed about it and her laugh had ruined that take, and it had been a really good take. So then I had to do it again. And I guess it's fine. I guess it's fine. I don't know, I think in my head, I didn't know if it was supposed to be funny or if it was supposed to be really upsetting. Obviously Charlotte's upset, but I couldn't tell if that was like a laugh line, or if it wanted to be a laugh line, or if the writers thought it was going to be her laugh line. I remember that was what I was mostly worried about, was really delivering it the way that it should be delivered and trying to fulfill all the boxes, you know, what everybody else wanted me to do. And I remember Sarah Jessica has this really funny thing that she has to do where she's trying to figure out what to say to me, and I think she does a great job. You know, Carrie slash carry and Sarah plays it so beautifully because she knows she's supposed to be walking down the island and everybody still looking right like, where did she go? Where's Carrie, And she's trying to tell me, like, hey, you know what, maybe he jerked off before you came. I had totally forgotten all this, right, It was pretty funny. It was pretty funny, but also like sad funny, like not laugh out loud funny. And that's one of those things where I think our show did that really well. And it's hard as an actor to do that because you don't know exactly if you should be going with your kind of more comedic impulses or going into the emotion of it, and really what you have to do is do both. And I think Sarah does it beautifully. I'm not really sure if I did it perfectly or not still to this day when I watched it, it wasn't sure, but I think she does it incredibly well because she's in this, you know, this stressful moment of needing. She knows that we need to go ahead. Charlotte is just kind of stuck in this panic moment, which I also think is very very Charlotte, and Carrie's trying to move it along and make Charlotte okay because, as she says in the voiceover, she's in a fourteen thousand dollars air wing, which is completely true. That's how much that dress cost. And I just think the scene is really good in a way that I hadn't remembered because I hadn't remembered what she did. I was also very surprised and did not remember this scene where Charlotte goes off to have sex with Trey, and you know, she's all drunk and you know, very like about as openly sexy as you will see Charlotte being at this point in time in the show. And then they just they cut away and then they cut back and they have that really interesting over the bed shot and we're laying there with the sheet over us, and Trey says, well, that was unfortunate, and Charlotte looks kind of, you know, surprised and obviously not thrilled, and then we learn, you know, he says many of many interesting things there. He says things Charlotte says, you know, has this happened to you before? And Trace says on occasion, And then he says something about I can lift the sails, but I can't take it into the harbor or something like this, which is just also very interesting. And I was just curious, I mean, I know that Charlotte's all shocked and everything, but like I wondered, like I'm gonna find out, I guess, but like do we try viagra? Like are there other things? Do you know? What do we do? Like there's things you can do? Right, But then it does kind of become clear that this has something to do with his relationship with his mom. It seems to be. And then later on we know that he tells her like once we started talking about getting married, that's when I lost my you know whatever. Freedom, I guess has freedom to be freely sexual, I suppose, and I don't think that's so shocking. I do think that, you know, people getting married is a big, big amount of pressure, but it's all very interesting and I feel, I feel, I hope that we do it justice. You know what I'm saying in terms of I can't really remember everything that's going to happen. I guess we're gonna find out together, and I'm sure all of you guys listening no more than I know, because I don't remember all of it. And my other issue is that, like for me, it's Kyle there right who's playing Trey. And also we have the chemistry that we have, so I think it's hard for me to I think in the same way that it's hard for Charlotte right, to really believe that this is a problem, Like it's kind of a shock, right, And I think that's the whole thing with Charlotte is liked, everything's so great, and there's so many great things about him, and then there's this one, you know, thorn in the side, right, and that's why she goes ahead with it, which I think is great that she goes ahead with it. But like, do we go to therapy you guys, I don't know. I hope we do, but I kind of don't think we do. But we should, we should do things, we should try everything. I don't know if we do. I'm worried now, I'm really worried. So that's what I was thinking when I was watching us. But it's also really enjoyable to watch, and then we look so happy when we leave, and then also it's so sad that this whole Aidan storyline is happening, and Charlotte's just kind of oblivious and so sweet that Carrie, very much unlike a narcissist, does not tell Charlotte that she confessed her cheating to Aiden, and that Aiden has left, and somehow Charlotte doesn't notice that Aiden's not there, I think, because I'm in my own little little world. But it's so sweet of her as a friend not to tell me, because in the Vera Wing thing, I say something like, don't tell him because I don't want you guys fighting on my wedding, which I of course understand. But there's just a lot going on in this episode, a lot, a lot, a lot. Now let's talk about Samantha verse second. Before I get to Carrie, Samantha and I have this fight in the Vera Wang which I don't remember at all, and somehow, thank goodness, we make up and she comes because you know, when you leave us in the Vera way and she goes in the dressing room to take her dress off, you kind of get the feeling that she's not going to be a bridesmaid. So I wonder if the scene got cut. I feel like a scene, at least one scene, if not two scenes got cut from this episode, because I do think that there was some kind of a scene where I'm wearing like a veil on my head and we go to some kind of a bar where I drink Charlotte, I mean, and I have some kind of a conversation where Samantha says she's still going to be a bridesmaider. So I feel like something's cut anyway. That's just me. Maybe I'm wrong, but I do love this guy who plays the Scottish. Is it a cousin? Excuse me? Is it a cousin of Treys? I think he's a cousin. He's at McDougall. I love him so much, and I thought that there had been more with him in Samantha. And I also feel like maybe there wasn't it got cut. I think we had such a stacked Oh my god. Yes, I'm wearing that sweater and I so, you guys, there is a photographic proof that I am correct. And there is a scene cut from this episode at least one where I go the girls take me out to some kind of bar. It was like some kind of a like maybe almost coyote ugly bar that has like sawdust on the floor. You know, I it's probably coyote ugly because what other bar in Manhattan would have sawed us on the floor. This is what I remember. And I'm wearing the veil on my head, like you're supposed to do for your you know, bachelorette type whatever party. But I guess it didn't make it into the final edit. Oh my goodness. And I think sometime there I talked to Samantha and she says she still wants to be a bridesmaid, which is of course wonderful because it would have been really, really sad if we hadn't all been together in that, and we wouldn't have had the incredible ending moment where the voiceover says, you know, it's basically Carrie says, it's wonderful to have people who love you for who you really are, and I was lucky to have found three of them and we're all there together. It's a really great moment. It's a really great ending to a really great episode. I have to say this episode is like a film. It's like a mini film in and of itself, mostly because I mean, we've got a really good you know, Trey's storyline obviously, but the Carrie storyline, Oh my goodness, me so basically the gist of this. First of all, both Sarah, Jessica and Corbett are incredible in this episode. And I remember the scene that they have outside the church the wedding, and I remember being just worried about that for her because the wedding took so long. We were like, they all fell asleep on the pews of the church. I have pictures somewhere. I'll try to find it. Put it on the Instagram for you guys. But people fell asleep. It was probably eighteen twenty hour day. But in the middle of all that she had to do the breakup with Aidan. But also we needed a daylight because it was an exterior, so I think we got that done. I feel like it. Also, the wedding might have been more than one day because so much happens, but they had to do that to have the daylight, because he says, I've been walking around for an hour and then he comes and you know, he's so sad. Corbett is just so good, so incredibly good, and so much doesn't react from an ego place, which I do think is a really incredibly smart choice on his part. And also the writers, you know, the way that they wrote it, I think it just brings home the sadness that you feel in a relationship where you've really messed up, you know, you really feel from Carrie how incredibly sorry she is and how stupid she feels that she did this thing to this incredibly great person, because at this point in time, Aidan has just been nothing but great to her, Like, he is so sweet, and he's making the piece of furniture for Trey and Charlotte of two pieces of wood that come together, and it has a fault in it, and that's, you know, because no one's perfect, he says to her. The other thing that I really love about this episode, and I hadn't remembered, is when so basically after the night before the wedding, you know, girls' night out, Carrie goes to Aiden's and he says, you know, she says, oh, it's not easy to surprise you, and he says, well, it's pretty hard to surprise a guy with a dog, which is really funny. I made me laugh. And you know, he's there working on the furniture, and they have this incredibly sexy scene about talking about the furniture, which is interesting and I didn't remember it, and I don't know if that was what was on the page or if that's just what they decided to do in the moment. But they're so connected and it's very sexy, very very sexy, and it's like all the wonderful things about Aiden are very much obvious and at play, and oh, I forgot about when she's smoking too. This was so good. So you remember when Aiden comes and he says straight out to her in the beginning, like, I cannot date a smoker. So she tries to pretend that she's not a smoker. She's like, oh, I'll just put it away, and then she tries not to smoke for their whole first dinner day, but she's got the jitters and she's really stressing, and she's, you know, trying to be who he wants her to be, right, which, on the one hand you feel like, maybe that's not the healthiest, but then on the other hand, is smoking the healthiest? Not really right, So they have this sexy scene and then she gets up in the mill of the night and she goes onto his stoop to smoke, and he comes out and finds her, and she goes, oh, you said you couldn't date a smoker, and he says something like, well, that's not all of who you are, and then he says, I'm not perfect. And of course this whole time, all she can think about is should I tell him, should I not tell him? Should I tell him? Should I not tell him? Which you know, we've all been there in some form or another, And so she almost tells him, and then she says something so sweet. She says, I was just afraid that he would never look at me like the way that he's looking at me now, and he is really just gazing at her in the most adorable way. So I totally understand that she doesn't tell him. So she leaves. She says, Oh, I've got I've gotta, you know, get ready for the wedding. But really what it is is she's she's running away from their closeness because she feels like she needs to confess. And then she's not sure that she should confess. But this is why I think she does have to confess, because she can't even really be with them, because all she can think about is that she did this bad thing and she hasn't told him. So when it takes you over in that way, I don't think you really have a choice. It might not be a smart thing to do. But on the other hand, if you can't even like function with the person that you're with, because you have the secret, then I feel like you have to tell him. So I kind of get why she tells him, but I do think as Clark Greg and I discussed that maybe she doesn't express it very well when she tells him. She kind of she can't really look at him when she tells him, which I think is also very very real, because I think she can't. It's hard for her to be with this side of herself that did this cheating, you know, and so she can't really look at him, which is kind of sad. But she also just says like, I did this thing, you know, which is not a great way to phrase it when you're going to tell somebody that you cheated on them. And then he also really smartly says, are you saying that it happened once? And then she says no, like three weeks or whatever she says, which is also just horrible, horrible. I don't know how she expects him to just be like, oh, okay, I can live with this. I don't know how anybody could. I would not be. I would not be I would not be thinking that that was fine. And I don't think she thinks that he's going to think it's fine. But I also don't think that she expects him to literally look like if you just ran over his dog, which I think is what he looks like. Like he just looked so sad and it's crushing. It's just so crushing. And he's so good. I mean, my goodness, she's so good. So then of course she tells him right before the wedding, which you know, maybe not the best timing, but whatever. He comes to pick her up for the wedding wearing a kind of a really large suit that I do want to talk to Mollie Rogers about, Like, why is he wearing this really large, untailored suit. It's interesting, but Hannah's brown, you know, it's a big brown, floppy suit. It's interesting. I do guess it was kind of the times. It is kind of nineties ish, right. Anyway, we're gonna talk to Molly about that. But he comes to pick her up in the big brown suit, and she confesses, and then he says that he's got to go and that she should give us the gift, which is kind of sad, and then she has to go. You know, she's late obviously to the wedding, because we're all standing there ready to walk down the aisle, so she doesn't even have time to tell anybody. But oh wait, no, she doesn't tell. She doesn't tell anybody until he shows up outside the gate and they have their really sad scene where she cries into his chest and he cries into her hair. And I was very worried about her bun. I was like, Corba's gonna mess that bun up and someone's going to have to fix it. But they make it through. That's because he's so tall. But it's really sad. It's really really sad. He says. I just wish I didn't know about this. I just know myself. This isn't the kind of thing I can get over. I just need to be on my own for a while. And then he kind of mutters again, like be on my own. I really loved you. Oh it's so painful. It's so painful, and of course she just feels horrible, horrible, Like we don't really see Carrie cry that often. We'll see her get emotional and look like she might cry, but she doesn't actually cry, like how she cries here very often at all, like in the Hole until the movies. Basically I could be wrong, though we're going to see as we watch the show, but she doesn't do it very often, and I thought it was really, really so sad, and she did it so beautifully. And then she goes up to take the pictures with all of us. She tells Miranda because Miranda's you know, can see that she's upset, and they come. The two of them join Samantha and I to take the picture, and I'm, of course oblivious, and she kind of like hides her face while she's collecting her tears, and then her voiceover says that it's amazing to be loved for who you really are, and I was so lucky that I had found three people who loved me like that, and it's us, which is a beautiful, beautiful ending to such a great episode. Let's talk just a little bit more about Miranda too, because this episode, this storyline, I really really loved, and I didn't remember one single bit of it. I do remember the time in New York that people would do this crazy speed dating thing, and I remember thinking it was fully insane, and I do think that our writers did it, and I don't know if they did it for research or if they just had already done it for regular life, but it was a real thing. You'd go and you'd sit down and there was a little timer and you would talk to some guy for whatever it was, five minutes, seven minutes, and then they would move and then you talk to the next one. It just seems so insane. But when you actually think about what the apps are, they're very similar. They're just not face to face, right, Like it was a precursor to the apps which we're all living in now. Of course, So the fact that Miranda can tell by the look on all these guys' faces that she needs to lie and say she's not a lawyer, Oh my god, it's just still so true. I mean, I do think there are really successful guys out there who if you said I went to Harvard and I'm a partner in my law firm, I think they'd be totally into it. I mean, I'm going to hope that that's true. I'm pretty sure it is. I don't know if it's every guy though, right, And I think it would depend on what that guy was doing in life and what that guy pictured for his life, right, Like does he picture a powerful wife where they're going to be like a power couple, you know, like share their the powerfulness, the success, the you know, intense work life, or is it somebody who doesn't want that? Right? And so Miranda pretty much decides that the group of guys who's at the speed dating thing, they don't want that. And I think that that's still really true. There's a whole bunch of guys who do not want that. So she really smartly decides to lie to this adorable guy, Harris, who says that he's an er doctor. So she tells him that she's a stewardess, which is hysterical. And then when they go out, she wears this whole outfit. She wears this scarf around her neck, and her hair is poofy. And then when they get home and they have sex, she's got like a flowery bra on. I don't we have ever seen Miranda in a flowery bra It's really funny. It's like she came over to Charlotte's and she borrowed some stuff to pretend that she was a stewardis. So she also has many funny things she says to try to, you know, make her her part believable. You know, she says at one point that she's in charge of the inflatable slide, but then in reality, if a real emergency happen, it's every man for themselves or something. She's very funny, very very funny, and Clark is so funny as this guy who's saying he's an er doctor. But then in the morning she actually asks him to my wedding, which I was so excited when I was watching. I was like, Oh, Clark Gregg, It's come to my wedding. How great. I don't remember him there. Well, that's because he didn't make it. Because the morning of the wedding, she's cutting a bagel and you can tell that this is going to happen because they do a close up of her just recklessly sawing at this bagel with this knife, and of course she cuts herself and she, you know, goes to the man she thinks he is an er doctor who happens to be in her kitchen, and she's like, oh, it's really bad, and he's like, ah, don't put it in my face, and she says, what do you mean you're an er doctor, and he has to confess that no, in fact, he is not an er doctor. He is an assistant manager at the Athlete's Foot which is just painful. Okay, I'm sorry, that's pretty bad. And then I thought she was really going to confess back and that they could have had like a shared experience of lying about what they did for a living. But she doubles down. She doubles down, and she says something like really cutting, like she hopes he's never on her flight, and then he says, well, it probably wouldn't be in first class. He looks really sad, like a little doggy that you've been mean to, and she says, yeah, you wouldn't be in first class. And she's very haughty about it, like in her pretense stewardess manner. And then the good news is she takes Stanford to my wedding, which is great because I do remember Willie being there, which is wonderful because he's always really funny and he got us through the long day of Charlotte's wedding long day or days anyway. I just love Clark Greg and I really feel like I feel like it would have been great if they could have both confessed that they were both lying. But I also think it would have been great if she'd run into him again, like on the street or something in the future and they could have somehow gotten over it because he has such a great like I think he has such an intelligent presence and also funny like he's got a little like twinkle in his eye all the time. Clark Gregg as an actor where you're just like, what's the up to? What's the up to? I like that about him. He was a great He was a great casting. We have so many great guys, obviously, but he's great, great, great casting, and I wish we'd had him for more episodes. All right, So that's it for our recap of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, which is a great episode. Thanks you guys for being with me for both parts. Let me know your thoughts. Come over to our Instagram. I love to see you guys his comments. Are you a Charlotte podcast. That's us on Instagram and you guys can can comment there. Tell me your thoughts about this episode. I do know that I think Cynthia has always said this is one of our favorite episodes, and I really was like, wow, yeah, this is one of our best episodes. I think this is when one of the first episodes where we really have almost more drama than humor. In one particular episode, and I think it's because we're getting more confident in our long term story arcs and where we've gone with you know, the Aiden Carrie big situation, and also kind of playing out Charlotte's storyline more than like one one day episode. So it's having like the payoff of that investment is really happening now, which I love to see. It's great, it's great, and it's great to see that we have the enough confidence to go there as actors. You know. Anyway, I love this episode. Thanks for joining me, Hi,