June 28, 2026
The Four Sixes Dating Trend: High Standards Or Avoiding Intimacy?
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RSS Feed A new dating trend is taking over TikTok and before you roll your eyes, dating experts say it’s actually a cry for help. This idea that women will only accept the physically perfect man: six feet, six figures, six pack and six inches, is pure fantasy. And it’s not fantasy versus reality, it’s fantasy versus intimacy and that equals loneliness. It may even be considered a form of self sabotage that feels safe because there’s no one who could meet those requirements. However, dating experts say there are real questions we should all be asking of potential partners, and it has nothing to do with the four sixes.
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00:00:02
Speaker 1: And the folks did it Sunday, June twenty eighth, And we'll be honest with you. Right before we hit the record button for this episode, I said to Robes, this is so stupid and her response was, yeah, it is. And with that, welcome to this episode of AY and TJ. Look, you bring a lot of dating trends my way, and it's fun. And I know a lot of things are stuff we've been doing forever, and they get new labels and all these things, but I'm usually on board. This is one that, at least on its surface, Robes, it's ridiculous.
00:00:39
Speaker 2: Well, what's so interesting about this particular dating trend, Yeah, is that it is what There have been headlines, but they've all had asterisks to them, which I think is pretty interesting. Okay, it sounds superficial, af and awful, and that's why we were both rolling our eyes were going into this. But the asterisk is that this could actually be a cry for help.
00:01:07
Speaker 1: Okay, there it is, So you're saying that there. Before we are dismissive of it, we need to recognize that there might be something going on.
00:01:17
Speaker 2: Yes, there's a deeper issue that this this thing we need to explain called the forting trend, and you might be like, are you kidding me?
00:01:30
Speaker 3: This is insane. I'm not here for this. And yet if you actually take a.
00:01:36
Speaker 2: Look at why maybe this is becoming a thing on TikTok, which it is, you might be able to say, ah, okay, you're trying to repair something.
00:01:49
Speaker 1: Oh wait, okay, you got to help me here, then please do tell, do tell.
00:01:53
Speaker 2: The four six is dating trends and women, right, women? Well, I guess it could be men too, gay men, But this is a dating trend for people who are into guys. So, whoever you are, you like men, this is a dating trend that might be something you've seen.
00:02:13
Speaker 1: It's okay to speak in general terms that this is about women talking about men.
00:02:17
Speaker 3: Or gay men talking about gay men. Okay, but yeah, but it's okay, or we're.
00:02:24
Speaker 1: Talking about women here talking about dudes and the yes.
00:02:28
Speaker 3: Had you heard of the four six?
00:02:29
Speaker 2: Of course?
00:02:30
Speaker 3: By the way, okay, you.
00:02:31
Speaker 1: Told me about this earlier today, and I still don't know what we're talking.
00:02:34
Speaker 2: Okay, so I did not hear about this either, But that just might be the fact that I'm in a loving relationship and I'm of a certain age. But Apparently this is a thing on TikTok the four sixes hashtag. Yes, six feet, six figures, six pack, and six inches, that's what people say.
00:02:52
Speaker 1: Okay, but is there a hashtag it just says six Is there a thing? Is it a dating trend called the four sixes?
00:02:58
Speaker 3: The four sixes?
00:03:00
Speaker 1: Sixes? All right? Six Okay?
00:03:03
Speaker 2: I went through six feet, six figures, six pack and six inches. If you want me to break it down, I will tell you it's six feet tall, yep or more yep. You got to earn a six figure salary, you got to have a six pack, app and you gotta be six inches.
00:03:18
Speaker 3: Okay, so speaking, so all right, okay.
00:03:22
Speaker 1: Now, okay, before you say the next thing, can I ask is that a reasonable expectation?
00:03:29
Speaker 3: No?
00:03:30
Speaker 1: No, it's not.
00:03:31
Speaker 3: Look I mean that that.
00:03:33
Speaker 2: So what people are saying is this is what fairy tales are made of. This is the Disney prince that every girl dreams of the hot guy who's tall, who has a six pack, who is rich, who is sexually satisfying. He exists, and that's what I want and that's what I deserve, and that's what this is based off of. This superficial Why superficial baby, why not a physical attributes? Are we're talking about anything with personality? You're not talking about morality, you're not talking about okay, I'm sorry you got connectivity.
00:04:13
Speaker 3: Or any that.
00:04:13
Speaker 2: You're just talking about physical attributes, including your bank account.
00:04:20
Speaker 3: That is what we're talking about.
00:04:21
Speaker 2: So the question is is this something that is solely based on having high standards or here is the big aha that I was referencing. Is it about avoiding intimacy? Would be a coping mechanism. Okay, So the point being, dating experts are saying, hey, they're all seeing this trend on TikTok Okay. So people are trying to unpack it, and they're saying, Okay, after repeated disappointment for women who have just had like failure after failure, I see.
00:04:57
Speaker 1: Where we're going. I see where we might be going.
00:04:59
Speaker 2: Okay, some women might become more rigid and have higher expectations as a form of self protection.
00:05:08
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:05:08
Speaker 1: A stamp is so heavy.
00:05:10
Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting?
00:05:12
Speaker 2: So yes, to have very specific physical requirements of somebody, it's easier to control what happens rather than being vulnerable and resk being rejected. So here are my standards, and they're so insane that if someone doesn't meet them, I can just point to that as the reason why it's not working versus me actually getting rejected, being vulnerable having something.
00:05:42
Speaker 3: Not work out. Does that make sense now? Isn't that fascinating?
00:05:45
Speaker 1: It is so fascinating robes to set a standard so high it can never be met, so therefore it can't be meant.
00:05:56
Speaker 3: Do you come around with us, Dawn? I would bring you this dating trend?
00:06:02
Speaker 1: Okay, I would never have just brought.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: You a superficial dating trend that had no that didn't have legs. And this, actually, to me, might be an interesting jumping off point to a lot of what we don't understand about the world or this generation or other people who don't think like us. Much of what I think we don't get that we might throw judgment at actually is based in insecurity. So you set a standard so high, but it looks like you're being an asshole. It looks like you're being like, yeah, I deserve better, YadA.
00:06:34
Speaker 3: YadA, YadA.
00:06:35
Speaker 2: The reality is you don't think you can get what you need, so you create this expectation and then say, yeah, he didn't meet it, and then you're not the problem they are.
00:06:47
Speaker 1: But we never rolled the Aren't there people out there preaching just that thing that you should not compromise, that you shouldn't lower a standard?
00:07:00
Speaker 3: Right?
00:07:00
Speaker 1: Isn't that what we are preaching these days, and certainly on social media, we're preaching this to our to young people these days. So how do you combat this? I didn't you said this to me. I had an idea of what we were talking about.
00:07:15
Speaker 2: I set you up for it a little bit, but I didn't tell you what the I didn't know that.
00:07:19
Speaker 3: What the through line was, what.
00:07:20
Speaker 2: The lesson was in all of this, and it goes beyond what the what the obvious would be like. So people are getting upset. People who are looking at this just in a black and white scenario. How dare you? How dare you have this? Four to six is dating trend? Like people are offended. Some people are offended that you would actually have height and income requirements? Does that offend you if a girl sets out on her dating journey and has a height and an income requirement before she decides whether or not she's going to pursue or continue no relationship.
00:08:01
Speaker 1: No, this is the thing. It's all about how you go about pursuing it. It's because at the end of really, robes, all women have a height and an income requirement. You don't put it down on paper and you don't say and you don't put it out on social media. That makes you look like an absolute asshole except.
00:08:17
Speaker 3: For that now.
00:08:18
Speaker 1: But no, no, no, no, but no, But robes people have just in the terms of what you're attracted to, you end up naturally attracted to a guy who happens to be a certain height, of a certain race, of a certain thickness of his hair, who is in a certain profession, who is able to have health care benefits. Right, So it kind of you kind of go that way without setting this standard when you stop putting, when you start putting stuff on paper and having a certain height requirement, that just makes that just comes off in a in a crappy way and almost as.
00:08:52
Speaker 2: If you're eliminating people who might be actually really amazing partners.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: But a lot of women don't do that without being a jerk about it.
00:09:01
Speaker 3: I'm saying they don't verbalize it, but they think standards.
00:09:04
Speaker 1: Everybody has a standard, of course, robes. But when you go about this and you promote this The problem here, or the danger here, is that you're actually putting this in other people's heads and other women's heads, that you have to do this, that this is what is required, that this is what somebody else is doing that you don't deserve, right, I don't like the lesson that's being Oh.
00:09:23
Speaker 3: Can you flip it?
00:09:24
Speaker 2: Can you imagine if men put a high requirement on women or like other I don't know, Oh my god, this is you got to have a You've got to have a cup size, right, that would be what the equivalent would be. You've got to have at least a sea cup or larger. You have to have a way size of this. You have to have a height of this, you have to have a whatever. Like if you reversed it, it would be like them are fighting words.
00:09:52
Speaker 3: But if women do it.
00:09:53
Speaker 2: So that's what some people are saying, Hey, this is not okay that you are judging men's bodies so publicly, And then others are saying, yeah, welcome to what women have been subjected to since the beginning of time.
00:10:08
Speaker 3: We have been objectified based on how.
00:10:11
Speaker 2: We look, not what we offer as a companion, not what we offer as a mother, a wife, or any of the other. But it's just been solely physical attributes. So welcome to what we've been subjected to forever.
00:10:24
Speaker 1: You know how I am about comparative suffering. So nobody's going to be no, so nobody. So who's going to be the adult in the room to set a new standard? This is the standard. So this is what we're going to teach our daughters. Any any woman listening right now, if you have a kid, if you don't have a kid, any young mother or hope to be a mother, you really want to tell me this is what you want to teach you a child, your daughter. Okay, so let's just keep it at that.
00:10:51
Speaker 3: Someone put it like this.
00:10:53
Speaker 2: How about this? Okay, so this is going viral right now on TikTok. So whether we knew it or we were aware of it or not, our kids probably are. But someone put it like this, because this ain't going viral. I want someone I'm attracted to who is kind, emotionally available, consistent, and looking for the same kind of relationship. That isn't viral, that isn't sexy, that isn't something that people click on, that's not a hashtag, But that is actually what we should all be encouraging one another to look for that was a.
00:11:26
Speaker 1: Quote you just rich. Yes, okay, yes, that's why we lost jobs. Well, I have moments where I get just it's stings, man, it's stings. It sucks. The truth is you and I were best friends. It turned into a beautiful friendship, turned into a beautiful love in a relationship that doesn't sell. Nope, right, And that's the truth, and it sucks. I'm sorry, but that happened to us, and it's the reality of the matter. But it doesn't work. You gotta have a scandal, you gotta have salacious, you gotta have all the shit.
00:12:00
Speaker 3: Yep.
00:12:01
Speaker 1: So here we go. Here we go again, ropes.
00:12:04
Speaker 3: And it's what people are.
00:12:05
Speaker 2: People are looking for what we have. But you need to have this thing, this this collective hashtag where people are like, yeah, I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna do that, and that's gonna make it okay. But look, here's the deal. This is fascinating with this new trend. This I'm gonna say it again.
00:12:28
Speaker 3: The four to.
00:12:29
Speaker 2: Six is dating trend. Would you imagine? I'm sure you can get your head around this. How a I Artificial intelligence has played a role in this trend, and we have some experts advice, which you might imagine might not be.
00:12:49
Speaker 3: In favor of this new dating trend.
00:12:52
Speaker 2: You have people this is fantasy not reality. Welcome back, everyone to this episode of Amy and TJ. We're talking about this four six's dating trend. Maybe you're cooler than we are. You've already heard of it.
00:13:13
Speaker 3: You get it.
00:13:14
Speaker 2: It's six feet six figures, six pack and six inches. This is what a lot of ladies are going online saying that's what they're looking for in a relationship. And look, as you might imagine, there are a lot of opinions about this new trend, and some people point to the fact that this is fantasy versus intimacy. That's interesting. I would have thought this was fantasy versus reality. But no, they're saying this actually equals to loneliness because some people might be looking to upgrade their lives. Yeah, with this perfect man that they think exists that they're entitled to.
00:13:56
Speaker 3: But like the reality is, if they say this is what.
00:13:59
Speaker 2: They want and what they need and they're not getting it, then there's some safety. I don't choose this because he doesn't equal this. Therefore, I'm not going to go after this person, but therefore I'm safe from being hurt.
00:14:17
Speaker 3: But I'm lonely as hell.
00:14:19
Speaker 2: And that is what many and most dating experts say. This trend is leading to loneliness because no one is going to a fit this bill, or very few people will.
00:14:34
Speaker 3: And even if they do, what else do they have to offer?
00:14:38
Speaker 2: Okay, say you get all of those physical attributes, you don't need anything else. Can you even apply this? This is what women? This is about men, But flip it and imagine men requiring this of women. First of all, the outrage would be deafening, but what would you be left with, Say you do get that woman who has the I don't know what is a perfect woman?
00:15:03
Speaker 3: What do they say? Thirty four.
00:15:06
Speaker 1: Idea?
00:15:06
Speaker 3: Twenty four thirty four? I don't even know what it is. What do you.
00:15:11
Speaker 2: That's very sweet, that's what?
00:15:15
Speaker 1: But I just I know this. Maybe it's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be cute, and maybe it's just a social media thing, but it does spread, and I always have concerns about us continuing to promote the idea that a relationship is one that you're only supposed to get something out of. You're not supposed to contribute to. And that's the mindset I guess. It seems so often in these conversations where it is a a relationship is not one in which you're supposed to compromise anything of what you are for the betterment of that relationship. It's instead of what does that relationship bring to me me? How does it improve me? How does it improve my status in some way? And that? And sure, I just disagree, but some people can think that, yes, that's the way of modern relationships these days. It's just it's it's tough, and this trend you're talking about makes it tough, bab.
00:16:18
Speaker 3: Is it listening to you?
00:16:20
Speaker 2: I actually really got a sense about whether or not this could be overcorrection a sorts where women have felt so unempowered for so many years that now they feel like they have the right to kind of just dictate who they want, what they want, what they expect from their partner and if you don't like it, by see you next. Do you think that do sense that that possibly is happening right now?
00:16:50
Speaker 1: We would never pretend to have studied those trends enough to be an expert in that thing, but I do we disagree that relationships are supposed to be partnerships in which both you do have to sacrifice. Every relationship that is successful and has done well required each of the individuals to sacrifice, which sometimes means giving up something of what you like, to who you were, or what you wanted. That's okay, it's for the betterment of that relationship. Doesn't you have to do with kids. It doesn't for the sake of the kids, or no, for the sake of the improvement of this thing you claim to want to be in. It's not that complicated.
00:17:34
Speaker 2: I do think that gets lost, and I do think that's a really important point because I do think as exists in many situations in this world, when you have someone or a.
00:17:46
Speaker 3: Group of people who feel.
00:17:48
Speaker 2: Like they have not been seen or heard, there tends to be oftentimes in overcorrection, and this could be one of them. And I'm not Maybe I'm giving this more weight than it deserves, but I thought it was interesting the expert advice when they were confronted with this new TikTok trend. They I thought this was really cool. They wanted to caution younger folks especially, but people who are getting into relationships do not confuse intense chemistry with compatibility. So yeah, you might be really hot for somebody, and yeah, they might check all the boxes physically, that does not mean that you are going to have a compatible long term relationship. You might have hot sex one night, so don't mistake somebody who's got the four to sixes with somebody who you might want to spend your life with, or somebody who you might want to enter a relationship with. And so they reiterated and Babe, this is good for us. But studies continually show study after study after study that relationships built on friendship have a significantly better chance at long term success. And I believe that we have lived it. I have walked that walk, and it is kind of awesome. It's one of those moments just to remember, yes, you can be hot for somebody, and yes somebody can look great, but at the end of the day, hotness for one another chemistry does.
00:19:20
Speaker 3: Not mean that you guys have the.
00:19:23
Speaker 2: Have what it takes to be compatible, have what it takes to have a relationship. And people get focused oftentimes on the physicality and what they think they deserve or what's going.
00:19:34
Speaker 3: To make them hot. And that's great.
00:19:35
Speaker 2: Fine, you're young, you're hot, knock yourselves out. But they actually go through the questions you need to ask yourself about the person you're dating. And these questions, they say, will tell you way more than whether or not somebody has a six pack or a six feet tall or has all the other four sixes.
00:19:54
Speaker 1: What what's the trend again? I'm sorry? What the trend is? What?
00:19:57
Speaker 3: So it's four sixes?
00:19:59
Speaker 1: The for this is how you should date or the trend of what women are doing now today.
00:20:05
Speaker 3: It is the four to six's dating trend. For what you're looking for in a guy.
00:20:08
Speaker 2: Okay, six to be tall, six figure salary, six backags abs, excuse me, and six inches.
00:20:15
Speaker 1: That sounds great? Okay, I mean, but I'm saying if every wanting listening, anybody listening thinks that's sounds good, and that's what you find that is great, knock yourself out.
00:20:27
Speaker 2: But just gonna give you these questions. If you've got that guy, you've got that person you think, man.
00:20:32
Speaker 3: I'm I'm living it up. I got the four sixes.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: The experts in relationships tell you to ask yourself these questions. Are they emotionally available? Do their words and actions match? Are they consistent or Are they always trying to decode? Are you always trying to decode mixed signals? Do they make room for your needs? Can they communicate honestly? Do they respect your boundaries? Do they take responsibility when.
00:21:01
Speaker 3: They hurt you?
00:21:02
Speaker 2: Are they interested in who you are? Do they want the same kind of life? Bottom line? The big question they said, do you feel like yourself around them? Or do you feel like you're auditioning for love? And so I think sometimes women find this guy who they think they want.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: But I thought that was so interesting.
00:21:25
Speaker 2: You're auditioning for love, You're trying to prove to them that you're the.
00:21:29
Speaker 3: One they want.
00:21:31
Speaker 2: And the reality is the four sixes are not the determining factor in who you want as a partner.
00:21:39
Speaker 3: And so, yes, it's on TikTok.
00:21:41
Speaker 2: Yes it sounds sexy on a headline or in whatever clickbait, but the truth of the matter is, let's get real, that's not what makes for a long term relationship.
00:21:53
Speaker 3: You and I both know that.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: Well, I hope I get the partner.
00:22:00
Speaker 3: The same baby, same that.
00:22:03
Speaker 1: Folks, we always appreciate you spending a little time with us. From my dear every Robot com T. J. Holmes we'll be talking to y'all soon.
00:22:11
Speaker 2: M h m hm hm hm
Speaker 1: And the folks did it Sunday, June twenty eighth, And we'll be honest with you. Right before we hit the record button for this episode, I said to Robes, this is so stupid and her response was, yeah, it is. And with that, welcome to this episode of AY and TJ. Look, you bring a lot of dating trends my way, and it's fun. And I know a lot of things are stuff we've been doing forever, and they get new labels and all these things, but I'm usually on board. This is one that, at least on its surface, Robes, it's ridiculous.
00:00:39
Speaker 2: Well, what's so interesting about this particular dating trend, Yeah, is that it is what There have been headlines, but they've all had asterisks to them, which I think is pretty interesting. Okay, it sounds superficial, af and awful, and that's why we were both rolling our eyes were going into this. But the asterisk is that this could actually be a cry for help.
00:01:07
Speaker 1: Okay, there it is, So you're saying that there. Before we are dismissive of it, we need to recognize that there might be something going on.
00:01:17
Speaker 2: Yes, there's a deeper issue that this this thing we need to explain called the forting trend, and you might be like, are you kidding me?
00:01:30
Speaker 3: This is insane. I'm not here for this. And yet if you actually take a.
00:01:36
Speaker 2: Look at why maybe this is becoming a thing on TikTok, which it is, you might be able to say, ah, okay, you're trying to repair something.
00:01:49
Speaker 1: Oh wait, okay, you got to help me here, then please do tell, do tell.
00:01:53
Speaker 2: The four six is dating trends and women, right, women? Well, I guess it could be men too, gay men, But this is a dating trend for people who are into guys. So, whoever you are, you like men, this is a dating trend that might be something you've seen.
00:02:13
Speaker 1: It's okay to speak in general terms that this is about women talking about men.
00:02:17
Speaker 3: Or gay men talking about gay men. Okay, but yeah, but it's okay, or we're.
00:02:24
Speaker 1: Talking about women here talking about dudes and the yes.
00:02:28
Speaker 3: Had you heard of the four six?
00:02:29
Speaker 2: Of course?
00:02:30
Speaker 3: By the way, okay, you.
00:02:31
Speaker 1: Told me about this earlier today, and I still don't know what we're talking.
00:02:34
Speaker 2: Okay, so I did not hear about this either, But that just might be the fact that I'm in a loving relationship and I'm of a certain age. But Apparently this is a thing on TikTok the four sixes hashtag. Yes, six feet, six figures, six pack, and six inches, that's what people say.
00:02:52
Speaker 1: Okay, but is there a hashtag it just says six Is there a thing? Is it a dating trend called the four sixes?
00:02:58
Speaker 3: The four sixes?
00:03:00
Speaker 1: Sixes? All right? Six Okay?
00:03:03
Speaker 2: I went through six feet, six figures, six pack and six inches. If you want me to break it down, I will tell you it's six feet tall, yep or more yep. You got to earn a six figure salary, you got to have a six pack, app and you gotta be six inches.
00:03:18
Speaker 3: Okay, so speaking, so all right, okay.
00:03:22
Speaker 1: Now, okay, before you say the next thing, can I ask is that a reasonable expectation?
00:03:29
Speaker 3: No?
00:03:30
Speaker 1: No, it's not.
00:03:31
Speaker 3: Look I mean that that.
00:03:33
Speaker 2: So what people are saying is this is what fairy tales are made of. This is the Disney prince that every girl dreams of the hot guy who's tall, who has a six pack, who is rich, who is sexually satisfying. He exists, and that's what I want and that's what I deserve, and that's what this is based off of. This superficial Why superficial baby, why not a physical attributes? Are we're talking about anything with personality? You're not talking about morality, you're not talking about okay, I'm sorry you got connectivity.
00:04:13
Speaker 3: Or any that.
00:04:13
Speaker 2: You're just talking about physical attributes, including your bank account.
00:04:20
Speaker 3: That is what we're talking about.
00:04:21
Speaker 2: So the question is is this something that is solely based on having high standards or here is the big aha that I was referencing. Is it about avoiding intimacy? Would be a coping mechanism. Okay, So the point being, dating experts are saying, hey, they're all seeing this trend on TikTok Okay. So people are trying to unpack it, and they're saying, Okay, after repeated disappointment for women who have just had like failure after failure, I see.
00:04:57
Speaker 1: Where we're going. I see where we might be going.
00:04:59
Speaker 2: Okay, some women might become more rigid and have higher expectations as a form of self protection.
00:05:08
Speaker 3: Okay.
00:05:08
Speaker 1: A stamp is so heavy.
00:05:10
Speaker 3: Isn't it interesting?
00:05:12
Speaker 2: So yes, to have very specific physical requirements of somebody, it's easier to control what happens rather than being vulnerable and resk being rejected. So here are my standards, and they're so insane that if someone doesn't meet them, I can just point to that as the reason why it's not working versus me actually getting rejected, being vulnerable having something.
00:05:42
Speaker 3: Not work out. Does that make sense now? Isn't that fascinating?
00:05:45
Speaker 1: It is so fascinating robes to set a standard so high it can never be met, so therefore it can't be meant.
00:05:56
Speaker 3: Do you come around with us, Dawn? I would bring you this dating trend?
00:06:02
Speaker 1: Okay, I would never have just brought.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: You a superficial dating trend that had no that didn't have legs. And this, actually, to me, might be an interesting jumping off point to a lot of what we don't understand about the world or this generation or other people who don't think like us. Much of what I think we don't get that we might throw judgment at actually is based in insecurity. So you set a standard so high, but it looks like you're being an asshole. It looks like you're being like, yeah, I deserve better, YadA.
00:06:34
Speaker 3: YadA, YadA.
00:06:35
Speaker 2: The reality is you don't think you can get what you need, so you create this expectation and then say, yeah, he didn't meet it, and then you're not the problem they are.
00:06:47
Speaker 1: But we never rolled the Aren't there people out there preaching just that thing that you should not compromise, that you shouldn't lower a standard?
00:07:00
Speaker 3: Right?
00:07:00
Speaker 1: Isn't that what we are preaching these days, and certainly on social media, we're preaching this to our to young people these days. So how do you combat this? I didn't you said this to me. I had an idea of what we were talking about.
00:07:15
Speaker 2: I set you up for it a little bit, but I didn't tell you what the I didn't know that.
00:07:19
Speaker 3: What the through line was, what.
00:07:20
Speaker 2: The lesson was in all of this, and it goes beyond what the what the obvious would be like. So people are getting upset. People who are looking at this just in a black and white scenario. How dare you? How dare you have this? Four to six is dating trend? Like people are offended. Some people are offended that you would actually have height and income requirements? Does that offend you if a girl sets out on her dating journey and has a height and an income requirement before she decides whether or not she's going to pursue or continue no relationship.
00:08:01
Speaker 1: No, this is the thing. It's all about how you go about pursuing it. It's because at the end of really, robes, all women have a height and an income requirement. You don't put it down on paper and you don't say and you don't put it out on social media. That makes you look like an absolute asshole except.
00:08:17
Speaker 3: For that now.
00:08:18
Speaker 1: But no, no, no, no, but no, But robes people have just in the terms of what you're attracted to, you end up naturally attracted to a guy who happens to be a certain height, of a certain race, of a certain thickness of his hair, who is in a certain profession, who is able to have health care benefits. Right, So it kind of you kind of go that way without setting this standard when you stop putting, when you start putting stuff on paper and having a certain height requirement, that just makes that just comes off in a in a crappy way and almost as.
00:08:52
Speaker 2: If you're eliminating people who might be actually really amazing partners.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: But a lot of women don't do that without being a jerk about it.
00:09:01
Speaker 3: I'm saying they don't verbalize it, but they think standards.
00:09:04
Speaker 1: Everybody has a standard, of course, robes. But when you go about this and you promote this The problem here, or the danger here, is that you're actually putting this in other people's heads and other women's heads, that you have to do this, that this is what is required, that this is what somebody else is doing that you don't deserve, right, I don't like the lesson that's being Oh.
00:09:23
Speaker 3: Can you flip it?
00:09:24
Speaker 2: Can you imagine if men put a high requirement on women or like other I don't know, Oh my god, this is you got to have a You've got to have a cup size, right, that would be what the equivalent would be. You've got to have at least a sea cup or larger. You have to have a way size of this. You have to have a height of this, you have to have a whatever. Like if you reversed it, it would be like them are fighting words.
00:09:52
Speaker 3: But if women do it.
00:09:53
Speaker 2: So that's what some people are saying, Hey, this is not okay that you are judging men's bodies so publicly, And then others are saying, yeah, welcome to what women have been subjected to since the beginning of time.
00:10:08
Speaker 3: We have been objectified based on how.
00:10:11
Speaker 2: We look, not what we offer as a companion, not what we offer as a mother, a wife, or any of the other. But it's just been solely physical attributes. So welcome to what we've been subjected to forever.
00:10:24
Speaker 1: You know how I am about comparative suffering. So nobody's going to be no, so nobody. So who's going to be the adult in the room to set a new standard? This is the standard. So this is what we're going to teach our daughters. Any any woman listening right now, if you have a kid, if you don't have a kid, any young mother or hope to be a mother, you really want to tell me this is what you want to teach you a child, your daughter. Okay, so let's just keep it at that.
00:10:51
Speaker 3: Someone put it like this.
00:10:53
Speaker 2: How about this? Okay, so this is going viral right now on TikTok. So whether we knew it or we were aware of it or not, our kids probably are. But someone put it like this, because this ain't going viral. I want someone I'm attracted to who is kind, emotionally available, consistent, and looking for the same kind of relationship. That isn't viral, that isn't sexy, that isn't something that people click on, that's not a hashtag, But that is actually what we should all be encouraging one another to look for that was a.
00:11:26
Speaker 1: Quote you just rich. Yes, okay, yes, that's why we lost jobs. Well, I have moments where I get just it's stings, man, it's stings. It sucks. The truth is you and I were best friends. It turned into a beautiful friendship, turned into a beautiful love in a relationship that doesn't sell. Nope, right, And that's the truth, and it sucks. I'm sorry, but that happened to us, and it's the reality of the matter. But it doesn't work. You gotta have a scandal, you gotta have salacious, you gotta have all the shit.
00:12:00
Speaker 3: Yep.
00:12:01
Speaker 1: So here we go. Here we go again, ropes.
00:12:04
Speaker 3: And it's what people are.
00:12:05
Speaker 2: People are looking for what we have. But you need to have this thing, this this collective hashtag where people are like, yeah, I'm gonna say this, I'm gonna do that, and that's gonna make it okay. But look, here's the deal. This is fascinating with this new trend. This I'm gonna say it again.
00:12:28
Speaker 3: The four to.
00:12:29
Speaker 2: Six is dating trend. Would you imagine? I'm sure you can get your head around this. How a I Artificial intelligence has played a role in this trend, and we have some experts advice, which you might imagine might not be.
00:12:49
Speaker 3: In favor of this new dating trend.
00:12:52
Speaker 2: You have people this is fantasy not reality. Welcome back, everyone to this episode of Amy and TJ. We're talking about this four six's dating trend. Maybe you're cooler than we are. You've already heard of it.
00:13:13
Speaker 3: You get it.
00:13:14
Speaker 2: It's six feet six figures, six pack and six inches. This is what a lot of ladies are going online saying that's what they're looking for in a relationship. And look, as you might imagine, there are a lot of opinions about this new trend, and some people point to the fact that this is fantasy versus intimacy. That's interesting. I would have thought this was fantasy versus reality. But no, they're saying this actually equals to loneliness because some people might be looking to upgrade their lives. Yeah, with this perfect man that they think exists that they're entitled to.
00:13:56
Speaker 3: But like the reality is, if they say this is what.
00:13:59
Speaker 2: They want and what they need and they're not getting it, then there's some safety. I don't choose this because he doesn't equal this. Therefore, I'm not going to go after this person, but therefore I'm safe from being hurt.
00:14:17
Speaker 3: But I'm lonely as hell.
00:14:19
Speaker 2: And that is what many and most dating experts say. This trend is leading to loneliness because no one is going to a fit this bill, or very few people will.
00:14:34
Speaker 3: And even if they do, what else do they have to offer?
00:14:38
Speaker 2: Okay, say you get all of those physical attributes, you don't need anything else. Can you even apply this? This is what women? This is about men, But flip it and imagine men requiring this of women. First of all, the outrage would be deafening, but what would you be left with, Say you do get that woman who has the I don't know what is a perfect woman?
00:15:03
Speaker 3: What do they say? Thirty four.
00:15:06
Speaker 1: Idea?
00:15:06
Speaker 3: Twenty four thirty four? I don't even know what it is. What do you.
00:15:11
Speaker 2: That's very sweet, that's what?
00:15:15
Speaker 1: But I just I know this. Maybe it's supposed to be fun, it's supposed to be cute, and maybe it's just a social media thing, but it does spread, and I always have concerns about us continuing to promote the idea that a relationship is one that you're only supposed to get something out of. You're not supposed to contribute to. And that's the mindset I guess. It seems so often in these conversations where it is a a relationship is not one in which you're supposed to compromise anything of what you are for the betterment of that relationship. It's instead of what does that relationship bring to me me? How does it improve me? How does it improve my status in some way? And that? And sure, I just disagree, but some people can think that, yes, that's the way of modern relationships these days. It's just it's it's tough, and this trend you're talking about makes it tough, bab.
00:16:18
Speaker 3: Is it listening to you?
00:16:20
Speaker 2: I actually really got a sense about whether or not this could be overcorrection a sorts where women have felt so unempowered for so many years that now they feel like they have the right to kind of just dictate who they want, what they want, what they expect from their partner and if you don't like it, by see you next. Do you think that do sense that that possibly is happening right now?
00:16:50
Speaker 1: We would never pretend to have studied those trends enough to be an expert in that thing, but I do we disagree that relationships are supposed to be partnerships in which both you do have to sacrifice. Every relationship that is successful and has done well required each of the individuals to sacrifice, which sometimes means giving up something of what you like, to who you were, or what you wanted. That's okay, it's for the betterment of that relationship. Doesn't you have to do with kids. It doesn't for the sake of the kids, or no, for the sake of the improvement of this thing you claim to want to be in. It's not that complicated.
00:17:34
Speaker 2: I do think that gets lost, and I do think that's a really important point because I do think as exists in many situations in this world, when you have someone or a.
00:17:46
Speaker 3: Group of people who feel.
00:17:48
Speaker 2: Like they have not been seen or heard, there tends to be oftentimes in overcorrection, and this could be one of them. And I'm not Maybe I'm giving this more weight than it deserves, but I thought it was interesting the expert advice when they were confronted with this new TikTok trend. They I thought this was really cool. They wanted to caution younger folks especially, but people who are getting into relationships do not confuse intense chemistry with compatibility. So yeah, you might be really hot for somebody, and yeah, they might check all the boxes physically, that does not mean that you are going to have a compatible long term relationship. You might have hot sex one night, so don't mistake somebody who's got the four to sixes with somebody who you might want to spend your life with, or somebody who you might want to enter a relationship with. And so they reiterated and Babe, this is good for us. But studies continually show study after study after study that relationships built on friendship have a significantly better chance at long term success. And I believe that we have lived it. I have walked that walk, and it is kind of awesome. It's one of those moments just to remember, yes, you can be hot for somebody, and yes somebody can look great, but at the end of the day, hotness for one another chemistry does.
00:19:20
Speaker 3: Not mean that you guys have the.
00:19:23
Speaker 2: Have what it takes to be compatible, have what it takes to have a relationship. And people get focused oftentimes on the physicality and what they think they deserve or what's going.
00:19:34
Speaker 3: To make them hot. And that's great.
00:19:35
Speaker 2: Fine, you're young, you're hot, knock yourselves out. But they actually go through the questions you need to ask yourself about the person you're dating. And these questions, they say, will tell you way more than whether or not somebody has a six pack or a six feet tall or has all the other four sixes.
00:19:54
Speaker 1: What what's the trend again? I'm sorry? What the trend is? What?
00:19:57
Speaker 3: So it's four sixes?
00:19:59
Speaker 1: The for this is how you should date or the trend of what women are doing now today.
00:20:05
Speaker 3: It is the four to six's dating trend. For what you're looking for in a guy.
00:20:08
Speaker 2: Okay, six to be tall, six figure salary, six backags abs, excuse me, and six inches.
00:20:15
Speaker 1: That sounds great? Okay, I mean, but I'm saying if every wanting listening, anybody listening thinks that's sounds good, and that's what you find that is great, knock yourself out.
00:20:27
Speaker 2: But just gonna give you these questions. If you've got that guy, you've got that person you think, man.
00:20:32
Speaker 3: I'm I'm living it up. I got the four sixes.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: The experts in relationships tell you to ask yourself these questions. Are they emotionally available? Do their words and actions match? Are they consistent or Are they always trying to decode? Are you always trying to decode mixed signals? Do they make room for your needs? Can they communicate honestly? Do they respect your boundaries? Do they take responsibility when.
00:21:01
Speaker 3: They hurt you?
00:21:02
Speaker 2: Are they interested in who you are? Do they want the same kind of life? Bottom line? The big question they said, do you feel like yourself around them? Or do you feel like you're auditioning for love? And so I think sometimes women find this guy who they think they want.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: But I thought that was so interesting.
00:21:25
Speaker 2: You're auditioning for love, You're trying to prove to them that you're the.
00:21:29
Speaker 3: One they want.
00:21:31
Speaker 2: And the reality is the four sixes are not the determining factor in who you want as a partner.
00:21:39
Speaker 3: And so, yes, it's on TikTok.
00:21:41
Speaker 2: Yes it sounds sexy on a headline or in whatever clickbait, but the truth of the matter is, let's get real, that's not what makes for a long term relationship.
00:21:53
Speaker 3: You and I both know that.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: Well, I hope I get the partner.
00:22:00
Speaker 3: The same baby, same that.
00:22:03
Speaker 1: Folks, we always appreciate you spending a little time with us. From my dear every Robot com T. J. Holmes we'll be talking to y'all soon.
00:22:11
Speaker 2: M h m hm hm hm