May 3, 2026
No Men Allowed! The One Place Women Have Their Best Conversations
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RSS Feed A new survey found where women have their best chats and a surprising number of those conversations result in lasting friendships! It’s the only place where there are a reported 2.4 billion stranger-to-stranger exchanges each year. Turns out this may be the one place where us women are at our best with each other; generous, emotionally available and willing to help a stranger.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey, that folks, sit is Sunday, May third, and woo, what a girl's weekend it was. You know, the ladies got together to go see Devil War's Prada too. There are a bunch of girl groups this weekend, and surely they were having all kinds of conversations, maybe about the fellas, maybe not. But I am told we're all about to be surprised to find out where women actually have their best conversations with that welcome to this episode of Aamy and TJ and Robes. As I say, we would all be surprised to find out. Women won't be surprised to hear this, you say, I was.
00:00:39
Speaker 2: Just gonna say, if you're a woman, this will not be shocking, but I'm curious if it will be for you, my love.
00:00:47
Speaker 1: So where do you and men in general? Right?
00:00:49
Speaker 3: Yes, I didn't mean to single you out.
00:00:51
Speaker 2: Yes, men, where do you believe if you had to guess, list your top three places where you think women might have their best conversations?
00:00:58
Speaker 1: And by best I mean gens. That's just general term, right, just best conversations fun.
00:01:04
Speaker 2: Some of the thing can be deep, some of them can just be uplifting. Where do you think these conversations are happening.
00:01:09
Speaker 1: The bathroom at the nightclub. In the mirror, I would guess there.
00:01:16
Speaker 3: You're right?
00:01:17
Speaker 1: Is that right?
00:01:18
Speaker 3: It's the bathroom. It doesn't have to nightclub, it's just the bathroom.
00:01:24
Speaker 1: Okay, And with that, thank you for listening, Bolks. The episode is over. I did not know this stuff ahead of time.
00:01:31
Speaker 3: That is so funny. I didn't think you were gonna guess it.
00:01:34
Speaker 2: Yeah. So they just did a recent survey. In fact, I should give credit where credit is due. This is this article came to us from our producer Sam, and she's been kind of forting us some fun articles to have conversations about what gen z ers, what younger women might be talking about or interested in. But this one jumped out of me because it made me laugh. I don't I probably would have guessed it, but as soon.
00:01:56
Speaker 3: As I saw the answer, I immediately thought.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: Duh, how many on the list? First of all, do they have here?
00:02:02
Speaker 2: No?
00:02:02
Speaker 1: This is how many places?
00:02:03
Speaker 2: No?
00:02:03
Speaker 3: Just bathrooms? Just the one place is bathrooms?
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Oh my?
00:02:06
Speaker 3: That But what the data is showing.
00:02:08
Speaker 2: This research shows what women are actually doing in there, what they're talking about. They surveyed thousands of women and where well, what do you have any idea what women are talking about? What are we doing in there? You're sitting there, you're waiting with your guys, Like, where are they?
00:02:21
Speaker 3: What are those two doing in there?
00:02:22
Speaker 2: Now?
00:02:23
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, are we saying that it's we're talking about public bathrooms generally are just the bathroom? Wow? Okay, I went right to the club because I think about women going there puting their makeup on the little tipsy. Maybe they're exchanging quick stories before they go back out and say your guy, this is your guy. That guys. Well, no, I am saying my mind went there, Oh yeah first, because I don't know, just that image comes to mind of women in that bathroom just chatting it up and chopping it up.
00:02:53
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: But do you ever wonder what we're doing, like what we're.
00:02:56
Speaker 1: Talking about in the bathroom? Do I ever one I know not to ask I what women are doing in the bathroom. I don't know what y'all are chatting and up about in the bathroom.
00:03:07
Speaker 2: Yes, it's funny because this article pointed out this data showed that in this era of cell phones, you know, we don't have a lot of personal connection or one on one or meeting strangers where you just actually have sometimes meaningful conversations with someone you've just met. That doesn't happen that often anymore, except in the women's public restrooms because your phones are down, you are fixing your makeup.
00:03:33
Speaker 3: But it is interesting.
00:03:34
Speaker 2: I loved seeing because we have so many stories about women who don't get along, cat fights, all of this stuff constantly making headlines. This survey made me happy because it's true because I've had and I think any woman listening, when I start listening what we do in the bathroom, it will resonate with you because I know you've experienced it. And actually it is uplifting because I never recognized this. But where else do we have these fun, intimate interactions with strangers. It's just rare these days, especially with our phones.
00:04:07
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of another place where it's possible, and all the places i'm thinking of where you don't interact, I'm thinking like a subway. I'm thinking even at an airport, where there are big crowds of people you don't see necessarily strangers interacting. We see that bars I think maybe maybe airport bars maybe yes, And those in some of those places where people are almost looking for connection, looking for somebody to talk to, because they're not traveling with somebody. But and also, men don't have these conversations.
00:04:37
Speaker 2: I was just gonna ask you what men do in the public restaurant. You don't interact, You don't even make eye contact.
00:04:41
Speaker 1: Your eyes straight ahead front, you don't look around, You don't want to do anything but get in and get out of there.
00:04:46
Speaker 2: Have you ever had a man trying to strike up a casual conversation with you in the men's restroom.
00:04:51
Speaker 1: I'm sure randomly here, but a full conversation new and we're not in the mirror for a long time. Most guys don't wash their hands well thoroughly anyway, so they're there for five seconds doing a little and they're gone.
00:05:04
Speaker 3: So you have the.
00:05:05
Speaker 2: Complete opposite experience in the public rescue, complete stand out, and you're waiting for us, and you're thinking, what in the hell are those women doing in there?
00:05:15
Speaker 1: Oh, we accept it, we get it, and that's fine. We don't get We don't even get frustrated. I don't think by it anymore. We understand she's going to the bathroom.
00:05:22
Speaker 2: It's just a known entity. This is going to happen all right, So here is I have the top ten things that women are doing in the bathroom.
00:05:31
Speaker 1: What talking about in a conversation? Are just doing a little bit of both.
00:05:35
Speaker 2: Most of it is conversation, yes, but this is what we're doing interacting with one another. Okay, the first, the first, the number one thing. Fifty eight percent of women say it's casual small talk. And that is true. Just you'll talk about the club, you'll talk about the music, you'll talk about the food, you'll talk about whatever.
00:05:52
Speaker 3: So that's just your basic stuff.
00:05:53
Speaker 1: And again, these are women, not two women that get up from the table and go to the bathroom together. These are strangers, the.
00:06:00
Speaker 2: Rangers, these are This is stranger interaction, which is very rare these days. That was the point Number two, And I love this, this is so true. Giving a compliment, forty of women will say, oh my god, I love your outfit, I love your shoes, your hair looks so nice.
00:06:15
Speaker 3: What's that lipstick color? That kind of a thing.
00:06:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never complimented a man's shoes in the bathroom, not once. Forty fine trousers, you got on there.
00:06:24
Speaker 2: The idea of men doing that is hilarious. Why though, why couldn't men do that.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: In the bathroom. No, it's just a different there's a there's an intimacy that you don't have with strange men. There's not a connection you try to make with a man you don't know, and certainly not in the bathroom where guys are standing right next to each other at urinals with their junk out. This is not I don't want to converse. I don't want to I wouldn't like to meet you if your dick in your hand. And that's not a good setup.
00:06:56
Speaker 2: All right, So y'all aren't complimenting each other. So forty percent said it was giving a compliment. Thirty eight percent said it was receiving a compliment.
00:07:03
Speaker 3: And it's true. I can think of so many interactions. It's funny.
00:07:06
Speaker 2: I go back to a restaurant we used to hang out at all the time, Suprama in the West Village, and I remember in that bathroom having so many fun conversations with random women, and then also Maurice Crisis having like amazing conversations in that bathroom.
00:07:22
Speaker 1: You should stop.
00:07:24
Speaker 2: You're already having fun. Then you start getting all excited.
00:07:27
Speaker 3: People say I love your Where did you get that dress?
00:07:29
Speaker 1: How big is that bathroom. Okayry, have you ever gone to that bathroom? Sober?
00:07:35
Speaker 3: Probably? Well buzzed maybe would be the best.
00:07:39
Speaker 1: I'm just laughing about Maurice crisis. Anybody knows it obviously, you know.
00:07:43
Speaker 2: And it's the waiting for the bathroom line because those are really small, tiny spaces, so it's like as you're waiting for a stall to open up, that's where the conversations happened a lot of time.
00:07:52
Speaker 1: Made me think of a very funny story. I'll tell you about it later. I have had bathroom conversation. It was in a line and it was with a woman.
00:07:58
Speaker 2: Okay, like stranger thing. Yes, okay, can we get back to that.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: Okay, all right.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: So the next thing is handing someone a product. So true either either if you need from period products to toilet paper to like do you have a cute different whatever, something that a woman could give another woman that you need, even hand sanitizer, you name it.
00:08:19
Speaker 3: That was twelve percent. So I people have said, oh could I borrow this? Or do you have that? So we share our products with each other.
00:08:26
Speaker 1: Just the idea of a man say, hey man, you got any chapstick? A chapstick? Just need to get a little hit hire before I go back out to my lady at the table.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's awful, all right. And this is where I think you're going to start laughing. So number five on hours laughing. Okay, we've been laughing.
00:08:43
Speaker 3: That is true.
00:08:44
Speaker 2: Offering emotional support because a lot of times you'll find a girl crying in the bathroom, and I.
00:08:50
Speaker 3: Have absolutely seen that.
00:08:52
Speaker 2: I've been the girl, and I've seen the girl and other women go to help.
00:08:56
Speaker 3: What's wrong? How can I help what's happening?
00:08:59
Speaker 2: And we start all of a sudden just offering each other emotional support in the public restroom.
00:09:05
Speaker 1: How many men do you think I've sent crying of public bathroom?
00:09:09
Speaker 3: Zero O Okay.
00:09:11
Speaker 1: Even boys that come in with their dads aren't crying.
00:09:14
Speaker 3: That is hilarious, all right.
00:09:16
Speaker 2: The next one, the next one on the list is having a surprisingly deep conversation. So I do think that has happened so many times I can I actually have vivid memories.
00:09:30
Speaker 3: It's funny.
00:09:31
Speaker 2: Sometimes the night might be blurry, but you remember your deep bathroom conversations. It can be with the friend you brought in there with you, because of course, we rarely go into these bathrooms alone. And then sometimes you'll have like a girlfriend, like like you have your two of you see another group of two and then you all start talking and supporting each other. It happens all the time, So then it's it's one of it was giving. Some of it was receiving emotional support, all right, giving someone gum erments one hundred percent?
00:09:57
Speaker 3: Have you even done that?
00:09:59
Speaker 1: Well, there's a an attendant often in the bathroom. Do y'all have that?
00:10:02
Speaker 3: Well, in the nicer places that I rarely go to.
00:10:04
Speaker 1: But they do put an attendant in there.
00:10:06
Speaker 2: They do sometimes offer that those types of services.
00:10:09
Speaker 1: Only time a man has offered me a mint and a bathroom because he was paid to do so, and expecting a tip for dolf, here's a peppermint, you expect a five after that. Okay, that those guys are great. I respect the hell out of those guys that have to stand in that bathroom for hours seeing drunk people come in and make all kinds of noises and smells, and I give them their props. So yeah, but no, that's the only time I've ever been offered anything, even offered a conversation in a bathroom probably was with an attendant.
00:10:39
Speaker 2: An attendant, okay, all right, And then the last one they have here is giving someone a bandage. So again it's like us women, we've got basically pharmacies in our purses half the time. And so from hair makeup, accessory comments to band aids and emotional support, it really actually runs the gamut. But I feel like it is so common, and I do think you're right. The more it tends to be in a bar where people have been drinking, where people.
00:11:05
Speaker 3: Let down their guards. Isn't that interesting though?
00:11:08
Speaker 2: Like we will ignore people and will feel too I don't know, you don't want to overshare. Maybe you've just got your guard up, or you just don't feel comfortable conversing with someone you don't know, But suddenly you have a couple drinks and everyone's your best friend.
00:11:22
Speaker 3: I wonder what that is.
00:11:23
Speaker 1: But isn't it different for women as well? You will have a I don't know, a different connectivity when it comes to an intimate environment like that. I mean, women can sid across the room from each other and judge each other and talk is to each other. But those two same women, you put them in the bathroom, and some kind of way you OL's guards go down. When you end up in I don't know, it's something you all get into an intimate women only space and it's almost like you all are very supportive and protective of each other. In public, it can feel like something else. But yes, I get it, that makes sense.
00:11:55
Speaker 2: I had never really considered that space as a special space where you actually dissolve social barriers because you're standing. I guess maybe it's a private thing to do. And look, this could be one of the reasons why. Look, there's a lot of reasons why people don't like the all gender bathroom, and there's a lot of reasons why people love the idea of it. First of all, all that talking happens because we have to wait so damn long for a stall, because you know, the women's line is usually three times longer than the men's line, So we have a lot of opportunity to have a conversation in a private setting that would be very different if men were there.
00:12:34
Speaker 1: Sweetheart, Well, the best example we've happened recently when we go to Broadway shows. That is when sometimes the line can get long, long line of men, long line of women. We're not over there talking to each other. We're not I'm thinking about that. Yes, I've been in line, long lines men waiting on the bathroom. I am not chatting it up with anybody that is humm, I'm thinking about the bathroom line. Right before you run a marathon, right before you do longline dudes, ain't talking.
00:13:03
Speaker 3: That's funny. All right, Well, when we come back, they actually have.
00:13:06
Speaker 2: In this survey the number of or the percentage of people who walked away meeting a stranger in a public restroom with a lifetime lasting friendship.
00:13:18
Speaker 3: We'll give you that data when we come back.
00:13:29
Speaker 1: All right, we continue here on Amy and TJ. Robes taking us through the latest data on women where they have their best conversations. Yes, it is in the bathroom, public bathrooms, oftentimes with strangers, been going through and explaining one thing. Robes, I want to go back to you, jumped. I wanted to interrupts when you talk about oftentimes women crying in the bathroom. Oh, yes, you have seen that girl, You have been that girl. Why are you crying in the bathroom?
00:13:54
Speaker 2: Usually it has to do with a relationship or a friendship. Someone said something that upset you. Your boyfriend didn't do something he was supposed to, Your friend just upset you by offending you whatever, and you've been drinking and now you're just at your wits end. You go into the bathroom to try and collect yourself, but tears start flowing as soon as you get some privacy, and another woman walks in and says, oh.
00:14:16
Speaker 3: My god, what's wrong?
00:14:17
Speaker 1: Did someone offer you help?
00:14:18
Speaker 3: Yes, they want to know what's going on. They want to help.
00:14:22
Speaker 1: Was I the one you want to date with at the timing? You? So you have not cried in the public bathroom during our relationship.
00:14:29
Speaker 3: I have not cried in a public bathroom during our relationship.
00:14:31
Speaker 1: Now, Okay, that's really all we need. Please let's continue with the episode.
00:14:35
Speaker 2: Wait, but didn't you have a story about having your conversation with the woman?
00:14:39
Speaker 1: This is crazy. I think I've told you this before. Is one of my favorite bathrooms. Wait, I don't have any bathroom stories. Your only bathroom story Vegas MGM Grand This private party but in the open area of the casino before the Paquiao Mayweather fight of all time. I'm in there with my friend. We had to go to a bathroom. This is an actual restaurant, but they just have this private event packed with all these celebrities left and right. It was amazing robes, but the bathroom situation was jacked because you all had to line up in one hallway to go to the men's or the women, so men and women were in the same line.
00:15:21
Speaker 2: Had to finally understand what it's like to be in line with women waiting for the restaurant.
00:15:25
Speaker 1: I did, but I had no problem that this was the lady that I ended up talking to. As I'm drinking a vodka with a splash of cranberry, the woman in line right behind me reach so grabs my drink, start sipping it, and we just started chatting it up. She said, Man, this line is crazy. See the left and the right. Why they got us in the same line. Have a full on conversation with Alison Jenny.
00:15:49
Speaker 3: Oh, I love Alison Jenny. But she just took your drink.
00:15:52
Speaker 1: Alison Jenny took my drink in the bathroom line. Didn't introduce herself, didn't I don't know what she knew who the hell I was. I was with see no ABC at the time, and started drinking and I sat. I had a long conversation with her the entire time. I'm waiting to go to the bathroom. That is my only bathroom story.
00:16:10
Speaker 2: See it involved a woman and I a strong woman. Now did she think maybe that was her drink? Or did she know she was taking your drink?
00:16:16
Speaker 1: I have questions? It was in my hand.
00:16:18
Speaker 3: Oh that is hilarious.
00:16:19
Speaker 1: It's not a table situation, sweetheart. We are in our bathroom line. And yes, as I'm in the bathroom line, doesn't it make sense I'd still have my drink. I'm still drinking. Notice, sweetheart, I was leaning up against the wall chilling and Alison Janny and I talked in the bathroom line. That is my only bathroom story, only bathroom conversation. And it was with.
00:16:38
Speaker 2: Alison Jens, a woman. I wanted to ask one more follow up? Yeah, maybe two. But the other one is did she give you the drink back?
00:16:44
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, we shared it?
00:16:45
Speaker 3: Okay? And do you remember what you were talking about?
00:16:48
Speaker 1: Nothing?
00:16:49
Speaker 3: We were I think small talk. That's fifty eight percent, is it really? Yeah? Fifteen?
00:16:53
Speaker 2: The most thing is small talk is just fun. Like they say, you talk more, women talk more. At least whoever is there ending in the women's bathroom line talks more in the bathroom or heading into the bathroom. Then people do it happy hour, like when you when you have a work event and you've got this forced happy hour. They say that sometimes that's difficult that people report having better conversations in bathroom lines in public restrooms than they.
00:17:14
Speaker 3: Do at a forced happy hour type.
00:17:17
Speaker 1: Of there's no pressure, there's no pressure choosing to and you also know this is going to end. You know what.
00:17:25
Speaker 2: That is such a good point. I hadn't even thought about that. You have an exit, yeah, immediate, and you can get away.
00:17:31
Speaker 1: If this doesn't go well, Oh well, as soon as I flush and wash my hands, this relationship is over.
00:17:36
Speaker 3: That is funny.
00:17:37
Speaker 2: So all of these, all of the numbers and the percentages that came out of this study all made sense to me except for one. This one I actually was really surprised by. So they say just seven percent of women report having these you know, deep soul bearing conversations.
00:17:55
Speaker 3: Okay, that's I understand. It's a small number.
00:17:57
Speaker 2: Twenty one percent of women walking away from a bathroom.
00:18:03
Speaker 3: Conversation with a lasting friendship.
00:18:06
Speaker 2: This is someone who they met in the bathroom, who was a stranger before they got into the bathroom, and it ended up becoming a lasting friendship. Twenty one percent of women report that That is shocking to me.
00:18:19
Speaker 1: That's shockingly weird.
00:18:21
Speaker 3: What where'd y'all meet in a bathroom?
00:18:24
Speaker 1: I've actually heard nobody tell that story before. Why would you are you serious?
00:18:28
Speaker 2: You would just name the restaurant or the bar, and maybe you wouldn't point out that it actually the friendship happened in the bathroom.
00:18:35
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe that's the way you start in the bathroom, you end up having a drink together at the bar kind of a thing.
00:18:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know what, because a lot of times these bars places, these public restrooms, when you go out of the bathroom, it's loud, there's music, there's the chatter when people are drinking rises many many decibels. So when you get into the restroom, it's quiet and you can actually talk, and so I can see how that happened. I just was surprised that twenty one percent of the time they had a lasting friendship come out of a public restroom meet cute.
00:19:05
Speaker 1: Basically, I would love if they asked these same questions of men.
00:19:10
Speaker 3: It would be a very boring survey.
00:19:13
Speaker 1: That is my bathroom. I don't think I've met anybody in the bathroom much. Let's get a friend out of it. I got shorted by Alison Janny. I wish we would have stayed in touch.
00:19:26
Speaker 2: Oh well, anyway, we hope you enjoyed this conversation and maybe it spoke to you and you're among the twenty percent. You should call your friend who you met in the restroom, because apparently that is a special, special friendship.
00:19:38
Speaker 3: All right, And with that, everyone, thank you for listening to us. I made Robock alongside TJ.
00:19:43
Speaker 2: Holmes.
00:19:43
Speaker 3: We will talk soon.
Speaker 1: Hey, that folks, sit is Sunday, May third, and woo, what a girl's weekend it was. You know, the ladies got together to go see Devil War's Prada too. There are a bunch of girl groups this weekend, and surely they were having all kinds of conversations, maybe about the fellas, maybe not. But I am told we're all about to be surprised to find out where women actually have their best conversations with that welcome to this episode of Aamy and TJ and Robes. As I say, we would all be surprised to find out. Women won't be surprised to hear this, you say, I was.
00:00:39
Speaker 2: Just gonna say, if you're a woman, this will not be shocking, but I'm curious if it will be for you, my love.
00:00:47
Speaker 1: So where do you and men in general? Right?
00:00:49
Speaker 3: Yes, I didn't mean to single you out.
00:00:51
Speaker 2: Yes, men, where do you believe if you had to guess, list your top three places where you think women might have their best conversations?
00:00:58
Speaker 1: And by best I mean gens. That's just general term, right, just best conversations fun.
00:01:04
Speaker 2: Some of the thing can be deep, some of them can just be uplifting. Where do you think these conversations are happening.
00:01:09
Speaker 1: The bathroom at the nightclub. In the mirror, I would guess there.
00:01:16
Speaker 3: You're right?
00:01:17
Speaker 1: Is that right?
00:01:18
Speaker 3: It's the bathroom. It doesn't have to nightclub, it's just the bathroom.
00:01:24
Speaker 1: Okay, And with that, thank you for listening, Bolks. The episode is over. I did not know this stuff ahead of time.
00:01:31
Speaker 3: That is so funny. I didn't think you were gonna guess it.
00:01:34
Speaker 2: Yeah. So they just did a recent survey. In fact, I should give credit where credit is due. This is this article came to us from our producer Sam, and she's been kind of forting us some fun articles to have conversations about what gen z ers, what younger women might be talking about or interested in. But this one jumped out of me because it made me laugh. I don't I probably would have guessed it, but as soon.
00:01:56
Speaker 3: As I saw the answer, I immediately thought.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: Duh, how many on the list? First of all, do they have here?
00:02:02
Speaker 2: No?
00:02:02
Speaker 1: This is how many places?
00:02:03
Speaker 2: No?
00:02:03
Speaker 3: Just bathrooms? Just the one place is bathrooms?
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Oh my?
00:02:06
Speaker 3: That But what the data is showing.
00:02:08
Speaker 2: This research shows what women are actually doing in there, what they're talking about. They surveyed thousands of women and where well, what do you have any idea what women are talking about? What are we doing in there? You're sitting there, you're waiting with your guys, Like, where are they?
00:02:21
Speaker 3: What are those two doing in there?
00:02:22
Speaker 2: Now?
00:02:23
Speaker 1: Wait a minute, are we saying that it's we're talking about public bathrooms generally are just the bathroom? Wow? Okay, I went right to the club because I think about women going there puting their makeup on the little tipsy. Maybe they're exchanging quick stories before they go back out and say your guy, this is your guy. That guys. Well, no, I am saying my mind went there, Oh yeah first, because I don't know, just that image comes to mind of women in that bathroom just chatting it up and chopping it up.
00:02:53
Speaker 2: Yep.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: But do you ever wonder what we're doing, like what we're.
00:02:56
Speaker 1: Talking about in the bathroom? Do I ever one I know not to ask I what women are doing in the bathroom. I don't know what y'all are chatting and up about in the bathroom.
00:03:07
Speaker 2: Yes, it's funny because this article pointed out this data showed that in this era of cell phones, you know, we don't have a lot of personal connection or one on one or meeting strangers where you just actually have sometimes meaningful conversations with someone you've just met. That doesn't happen that often anymore, except in the women's public restrooms because your phones are down, you are fixing your makeup.
00:03:33
Speaker 3: But it is interesting.
00:03:34
Speaker 2: I loved seeing because we have so many stories about women who don't get along, cat fights, all of this stuff constantly making headlines. This survey made me happy because it's true because I've had and I think any woman listening, when I start listening what we do in the bathroom, it will resonate with you because I know you've experienced it. And actually it is uplifting because I never recognized this. But where else do we have these fun, intimate interactions with strangers. It's just rare these days, especially with our phones.
00:04:07
Speaker 1: I'm trying to think of another place where it's possible, and all the places i'm thinking of where you don't interact, I'm thinking like a subway. I'm thinking even at an airport, where there are big crowds of people you don't see necessarily strangers interacting. We see that bars I think maybe maybe airport bars maybe yes, And those in some of those places where people are almost looking for connection, looking for somebody to talk to, because they're not traveling with somebody. But and also, men don't have these conversations.
00:04:37
Speaker 2: I was just gonna ask you what men do in the public restaurant. You don't interact, You don't even make eye contact.
00:04:41
Speaker 1: Your eyes straight ahead front, you don't look around, You don't want to do anything but get in and get out of there.
00:04:46
Speaker 2: Have you ever had a man trying to strike up a casual conversation with you in the men's restroom.
00:04:51
Speaker 1: I'm sure randomly here, but a full conversation new and we're not in the mirror for a long time. Most guys don't wash their hands well thoroughly anyway, so they're there for five seconds doing a little and they're gone.
00:05:04
Speaker 3: So you have the.
00:05:05
Speaker 2: Complete opposite experience in the public rescue, complete stand out, and you're waiting for us, and you're thinking, what in the hell are those women doing in there?
00:05:15
Speaker 1: Oh, we accept it, we get it, and that's fine. We don't get We don't even get frustrated. I don't think by it anymore. We understand she's going to the bathroom.
00:05:22
Speaker 2: It's just a known entity. This is going to happen all right, So here is I have the top ten things that women are doing in the bathroom.
00:05:31
Speaker 1: What talking about in a conversation? Are just doing a little bit of both.
00:05:35
Speaker 2: Most of it is conversation, yes, but this is what we're doing interacting with one another. Okay, the first, the first, the number one thing. Fifty eight percent of women say it's casual small talk. And that is true. Just you'll talk about the club, you'll talk about the music, you'll talk about the food, you'll talk about whatever.
00:05:52
Speaker 3: So that's just your basic stuff.
00:05:53
Speaker 1: And again, these are women, not two women that get up from the table and go to the bathroom together. These are strangers, the.
00:06:00
Speaker 2: Rangers, these are This is stranger interaction, which is very rare these days. That was the point Number two, And I love this, this is so true. Giving a compliment, forty of women will say, oh my god, I love your outfit, I love your shoes, your hair looks so nice.
00:06:15
Speaker 3: What's that lipstick color? That kind of a thing.
00:06:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never complimented a man's shoes in the bathroom, not once. Forty fine trousers, you got on there.
00:06:24
Speaker 2: The idea of men doing that is hilarious. Why though, why couldn't men do that.
00:06:28
Speaker 1: In the bathroom. No, it's just a different there's a there's an intimacy that you don't have with strange men. There's not a connection you try to make with a man you don't know, and certainly not in the bathroom where guys are standing right next to each other at urinals with their junk out. This is not I don't want to converse. I don't want to I wouldn't like to meet you if your dick in your hand. And that's not a good setup.
00:06:56
Speaker 2: All right, So y'all aren't complimenting each other. So forty percent said it was giving a compliment. Thirty eight percent said it was receiving a compliment.
00:07:03
Speaker 3: And it's true. I can think of so many interactions. It's funny.
00:07:06
Speaker 2: I go back to a restaurant we used to hang out at all the time, Suprama in the West Village, and I remember in that bathroom having so many fun conversations with random women, and then also Maurice Crisis having like amazing conversations in that bathroom.
00:07:22
Speaker 1: You should stop.
00:07:24
Speaker 2: You're already having fun. Then you start getting all excited.
00:07:27
Speaker 3: People say I love your Where did you get that dress?
00:07:29
Speaker 1: How big is that bathroom. Okayry, have you ever gone to that bathroom? Sober?
00:07:35
Speaker 3: Probably? Well buzzed maybe would be the best.
00:07:39
Speaker 1: I'm just laughing about Maurice crisis. Anybody knows it obviously, you know.
00:07:43
Speaker 2: And it's the waiting for the bathroom line because those are really small, tiny spaces, so it's like as you're waiting for a stall to open up, that's where the conversations happened a lot of time.
00:07:52
Speaker 1: Made me think of a very funny story. I'll tell you about it later. I have had bathroom conversation. It was in a line and it was with a woman.
00:07:58
Speaker 2: Okay, like stranger thing. Yes, okay, can we get back to that.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: Okay, all right.
00:08:03
Speaker 2: So the next thing is handing someone a product. So true either either if you need from period products to toilet paper to like do you have a cute different whatever, something that a woman could give another woman that you need, even hand sanitizer, you name it.
00:08:19
Speaker 3: That was twelve percent. So I people have said, oh could I borrow this? Or do you have that? So we share our products with each other.
00:08:26
Speaker 1: Just the idea of a man say, hey man, you got any chapstick? A chapstick? Just need to get a little hit hire before I go back out to my lady at the table.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: Okay, yeah, that's awful, all right. And this is where I think you're going to start laughing. So number five on hours laughing. Okay, we've been laughing.
00:08:43
Speaker 3: That is true.
00:08:44
Speaker 2: Offering emotional support because a lot of times you'll find a girl crying in the bathroom, and I.
00:08:50
Speaker 3: Have absolutely seen that.
00:08:52
Speaker 2: I've been the girl, and I've seen the girl and other women go to help.
00:08:56
Speaker 3: What's wrong? How can I help what's happening?
00:08:59
Speaker 2: And we start all of a sudden just offering each other emotional support in the public restroom.
00:09:05
Speaker 1: How many men do you think I've sent crying of public bathroom?
00:09:09
Speaker 3: Zero O Okay.
00:09:11
Speaker 1: Even boys that come in with their dads aren't crying.
00:09:14
Speaker 3: That is hilarious, all right.
00:09:16
Speaker 2: The next one, the next one on the list is having a surprisingly deep conversation. So I do think that has happened so many times I can I actually have vivid memories.
00:09:30
Speaker 3: It's funny.
00:09:31
Speaker 2: Sometimes the night might be blurry, but you remember your deep bathroom conversations. It can be with the friend you brought in there with you, because of course, we rarely go into these bathrooms alone. And then sometimes you'll have like a girlfriend, like like you have your two of you see another group of two and then you all start talking and supporting each other. It happens all the time, So then it's it's one of it was giving. Some of it was receiving emotional support, all right, giving someone gum erments one hundred percent?
00:09:57
Speaker 3: Have you even done that?
00:09:59
Speaker 1: Well, there's a an attendant often in the bathroom. Do y'all have that?
00:10:02
Speaker 3: Well, in the nicer places that I rarely go to.
00:10:04
Speaker 1: But they do put an attendant in there.
00:10:06
Speaker 2: They do sometimes offer that those types of services.
00:10:09
Speaker 1: Only time a man has offered me a mint and a bathroom because he was paid to do so, and expecting a tip for dolf, here's a peppermint, you expect a five after that. Okay, that those guys are great. I respect the hell out of those guys that have to stand in that bathroom for hours seeing drunk people come in and make all kinds of noises and smells, and I give them their props. So yeah, but no, that's the only time I've ever been offered anything, even offered a conversation in a bathroom probably was with an attendant.
00:10:39
Speaker 2: An attendant, okay, all right, And then the last one they have here is giving someone a bandage. So again it's like us women, we've got basically pharmacies in our purses half the time. And so from hair makeup, accessory comments to band aids and emotional support, it really actually runs the gamut. But I feel like it is so common, and I do think you're right. The more it tends to be in a bar where people have been drinking, where people.
00:11:05
Speaker 3: Let down their guards. Isn't that interesting though?
00:11:08
Speaker 2: Like we will ignore people and will feel too I don't know, you don't want to overshare. Maybe you've just got your guard up, or you just don't feel comfortable conversing with someone you don't know, But suddenly you have a couple drinks and everyone's your best friend.
00:11:22
Speaker 3: I wonder what that is.
00:11:23
Speaker 1: But isn't it different for women as well? You will have a I don't know, a different connectivity when it comes to an intimate environment like that. I mean, women can sid across the room from each other and judge each other and talk is to each other. But those two same women, you put them in the bathroom, and some kind of way you OL's guards go down. When you end up in I don't know, it's something you all get into an intimate women only space and it's almost like you all are very supportive and protective of each other. In public, it can feel like something else. But yes, I get it, that makes sense.
00:11:55
Speaker 2: I had never really considered that space as a special space where you actually dissolve social barriers because you're standing. I guess maybe it's a private thing to do. And look, this could be one of the reasons why. Look, there's a lot of reasons why people don't like the all gender bathroom, and there's a lot of reasons why people love the idea of it. First of all, all that talking happens because we have to wait so damn long for a stall, because you know, the women's line is usually three times longer than the men's line, So we have a lot of opportunity to have a conversation in a private setting that would be very different if men were there.
00:12:34
Speaker 1: Sweetheart, Well, the best example we've happened recently when we go to Broadway shows. That is when sometimes the line can get long, long line of men, long line of women. We're not over there talking to each other. We're not I'm thinking about that. Yes, I've been in line, long lines men waiting on the bathroom. I am not chatting it up with anybody that is humm, I'm thinking about the bathroom line. Right before you run a marathon, right before you do longline dudes, ain't talking.
00:13:03
Speaker 3: That's funny. All right, Well, when we come back, they actually have.
00:13:06
Speaker 2: In this survey the number of or the percentage of people who walked away meeting a stranger in a public restroom with a lifetime lasting friendship.
00:13:18
Speaker 3: We'll give you that data when we come back.
00:13:29
Speaker 1: All right, we continue here on Amy and TJ. Robes taking us through the latest data on women where they have their best conversations. Yes, it is in the bathroom, public bathrooms, oftentimes with strangers, been going through and explaining one thing. Robes, I want to go back to you, jumped. I wanted to interrupts when you talk about oftentimes women crying in the bathroom. Oh, yes, you have seen that girl, You have been that girl. Why are you crying in the bathroom?
00:13:54
Speaker 2: Usually it has to do with a relationship or a friendship. Someone said something that upset you. Your boyfriend didn't do something he was supposed to, Your friend just upset you by offending you whatever, and you've been drinking and now you're just at your wits end. You go into the bathroom to try and collect yourself, but tears start flowing as soon as you get some privacy, and another woman walks in and says, oh.
00:14:16
Speaker 3: My god, what's wrong?
00:14:17
Speaker 1: Did someone offer you help?
00:14:18
Speaker 3: Yes, they want to know what's going on. They want to help.
00:14:22
Speaker 1: Was I the one you want to date with at the timing? You? So you have not cried in the public bathroom during our relationship.
00:14:29
Speaker 3: I have not cried in a public bathroom during our relationship.
00:14:31
Speaker 1: Now, Okay, that's really all we need. Please let's continue with the episode.
00:14:35
Speaker 2: Wait, but didn't you have a story about having your conversation with the woman?
00:14:39
Speaker 1: This is crazy. I think I've told you this before. Is one of my favorite bathrooms. Wait, I don't have any bathroom stories. Your only bathroom story Vegas MGM Grand This private party but in the open area of the casino before the Paquiao Mayweather fight of all time. I'm in there with my friend. We had to go to a bathroom. This is an actual restaurant, but they just have this private event packed with all these celebrities left and right. It was amazing robes, but the bathroom situation was jacked because you all had to line up in one hallway to go to the men's or the women, so men and women were in the same line.
00:15:21
Speaker 2: Had to finally understand what it's like to be in line with women waiting for the restaurant.
00:15:25
Speaker 1: I did, but I had no problem that this was the lady that I ended up talking to. As I'm drinking a vodka with a splash of cranberry, the woman in line right behind me reach so grabs my drink, start sipping it, and we just started chatting it up. She said, Man, this line is crazy. See the left and the right. Why they got us in the same line. Have a full on conversation with Alison Jenny.
00:15:49
Speaker 3: Oh, I love Alison Jenny. But she just took your drink.
00:15:52
Speaker 1: Alison Jenny took my drink in the bathroom line. Didn't introduce herself, didn't I don't know what she knew who the hell I was. I was with see no ABC at the time, and started drinking and I sat. I had a long conversation with her the entire time. I'm waiting to go to the bathroom. That is my only bathroom story.
00:16:10
Speaker 2: See it involved a woman and I a strong woman. Now did she think maybe that was her drink? Or did she know she was taking your drink?
00:16:16
Speaker 1: I have questions? It was in my hand.
00:16:18
Speaker 3: Oh that is hilarious.
00:16:19
Speaker 1: It's not a table situation, sweetheart. We are in our bathroom line. And yes, as I'm in the bathroom line, doesn't it make sense I'd still have my drink. I'm still drinking. Notice, sweetheart, I was leaning up against the wall chilling and Alison Janny and I talked in the bathroom line. That is my only bathroom story, only bathroom conversation. And it was with.
00:16:38
Speaker 2: Alison Jens, a woman. I wanted to ask one more follow up? Yeah, maybe two. But the other one is did she give you the drink back?
00:16:44
Speaker 1: Oh? Yeah, we shared it?
00:16:45
Speaker 3: Okay? And do you remember what you were talking about?
00:16:48
Speaker 1: Nothing?
00:16:49
Speaker 3: We were I think small talk. That's fifty eight percent, is it really? Yeah? Fifteen?
00:16:53
Speaker 2: The most thing is small talk is just fun. Like they say, you talk more, women talk more. At least whoever is there ending in the women's bathroom line talks more in the bathroom or heading into the bathroom. Then people do it happy hour, like when you when you have a work event and you've got this forced happy hour. They say that sometimes that's difficult that people report having better conversations in bathroom lines in public restrooms than they.
00:17:14
Speaker 3: Do at a forced happy hour type.
00:17:17
Speaker 1: Of there's no pressure, there's no pressure choosing to and you also know this is going to end. You know what.
00:17:25
Speaker 2: That is such a good point. I hadn't even thought about that. You have an exit, yeah, immediate, and you can get away.
00:17:31
Speaker 1: If this doesn't go well, Oh well, as soon as I flush and wash my hands, this relationship is over.
00:17:36
Speaker 3: That is funny.
00:17:37
Speaker 2: So all of these, all of the numbers and the percentages that came out of this study all made sense to me except for one. This one I actually was really surprised by. So they say just seven percent of women report having these you know, deep soul bearing conversations.
00:17:55
Speaker 3: Okay, that's I understand. It's a small number.
00:17:57
Speaker 2: Twenty one percent of women walking away from a bathroom.
00:18:03
Speaker 3: Conversation with a lasting friendship.
00:18:06
Speaker 2: This is someone who they met in the bathroom, who was a stranger before they got into the bathroom, and it ended up becoming a lasting friendship. Twenty one percent of women report that That is shocking to me.
00:18:19
Speaker 1: That's shockingly weird.
00:18:21
Speaker 3: What where'd y'all meet in a bathroom?
00:18:24
Speaker 1: I've actually heard nobody tell that story before. Why would you are you serious?
00:18:28
Speaker 2: You would just name the restaurant or the bar, and maybe you wouldn't point out that it actually the friendship happened in the bathroom.
00:18:35
Speaker 1: Okay, maybe that's the way you start in the bathroom, you end up having a drink together at the bar kind of a thing.
00:18:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, And you know what, because a lot of times these bars places, these public restrooms, when you go out of the bathroom, it's loud, there's music, there's the chatter when people are drinking rises many many decibels. So when you get into the restroom, it's quiet and you can actually talk, and so I can see how that happened. I just was surprised that twenty one percent of the time they had a lasting friendship come out of a public restroom meet cute.
00:19:05
Speaker 1: Basically, I would love if they asked these same questions of men.
00:19:10
Speaker 3: It would be a very boring survey.
00:19:13
Speaker 1: That is my bathroom. I don't think I've met anybody in the bathroom much. Let's get a friend out of it. I got shorted by Alison Janny. I wish we would have stayed in touch.
00:19:26
Speaker 2: Oh well, anyway, we hope you enjoyed this conversation and maybe it spoke to you and you're among the twenty percent. You should call your friend who you met in the restroom, because apparently that is a special, special friendship.
00:19:38
Speaker 3: All right, And with that, everyone, thank you for listening to us. I made Robock alongside TJ.
00:19:43
Speaker 2: Holmes.
00:19:43
Speaker 3: We will talk soon.