Aug. 8, 2026
New Dating Trend That Resembles A Rom-Com: Eventationships, Can They Actually Lead To The Real Thing?
Apple Podcasts 
Spotify 
Castro 
RSS Feed We had a blast going over the latest dating trend making the rounds on social media: eventationships. It’s described as an agreement between two singles who commit to being each other’s plus ones, especially around wedding season. Sounds like the exact plot of the 2005 rom com “The Wedding Date” starring Debra Messing and Dermot Mulroney, however it’s now a thing…. Or was it always? We discuss how it works, how it can get messy, and why we actually think this may be how our relationship started.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey, folks, it is Saturday, August eighth, and have you ever seen a movie called The Wedding Date stars Deborah Messing and Dylan mulroney Dermott. Yes, yes, he's mister what mister ram calm himself. If you've ever seen that movie? Would you believe that what happened in that whole rom com scenario is now actually an emerging dating trend. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. I have just put the movie on in the background here. I've never seen this movie. The scenario is typical rom com ridiculousness, and it's what what's the synopsis of the movie.
00:00:45
Speaker 2: The synopsis is that Kat, who's played by Deborah Messing, is single and dreading attending her sister's wedding in London because her ex fiance is the best man, So she hires a handsome professional marier escort named Nick Toposes her new boyfriend. But as the wedding events unfold, their fake relationship turns into real feelings.
00:01:07
Speaker 3: Oh no, and they fall in love.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Is that what happens? I didn't see it. I didn't.
00:01:11
Speaker 3: I didn't there's a false ending.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: I forgot what it is.
00:01:14
Speaker 3: But then yes, it turns out they actually love each other.
00:01:17
Speaker 1: You've seen the movie oh multiple times.
00:01:20
Speaker 3: I don't know if they marry, but they're together.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, and what the hell?
00:01:24
Speaker 2: Then? Also, remember this one just is pretty recent. It's not exactly the same, but pretty close. Anyone but you, of course, that is with Sidney Sweeney. And who's the dude's name, the hot guy that.
00:01:37
Speaker 3: Everybody loves, Glenn Powell.
00:01:39
Speaker 2: Yes, Glenn Powell and Sidney Sweeney, same exact thing where yes, they have a great first date, but then they hate each other, but then they find themselves at a destination wedding and pretend to be the perfect couple to keep up appearances, and then they actually fall in love.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: Okay, so we'll just telling me, and she has a great name of it to share with you. But there's a new not new? Is this a new trend? Necessarily?
00:02:08
Speaker 2: Are they keeping they're calling it a new dating trend? But it's been around, obviously at least since the wedding date, which was what I don't know how many years ago, twenty years ago.
00:02:17
Speaker 1: You're telling me this is an emerging trend, a legit dating trend right now, And I think.
00:02:21
Speaker 3: These emerging trends are trends because they're being.
00:02:23
Speaker 2: Called out or discussed on TikTok and other social media outlets. But this is called an eventationship. And it's funny because eventually, when I saw it, I thought it was an eventuationship. So I thought, oh, this is cool, like you start off as friends and eventually you hope you get into a relationship.
00:02:42
Speaker 3: But I read it wrong.
00:02:42
Speaker 1: There's no you in there.
00:02:44
Speaker 2: It's not an eventuationship, which is what I initially thought it was, which is why I clicked on it.
00:02:48
Speaker 1: Because shots got to be a trend.
00:02:50
Speaker 2: This is interesting and I think maybe we can look into that one as well.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: But that's what I thought I was reading.
00:02:55
Speaker 1: That's what we were in.
00:02:56
Speaker 3: We were in an eventuationship for eight years. We've played the long game, and you know what, we're laughing.
00:03:04
Speaker 2: But that is why I clicked on it, babe, because I thought, I know a little something about an eventuation ship. Seeds have been planted, you don't really realize what's happening, and all of a sudden, eventually you're in a full blown ruw sace.
00:03:15
Speaker 1: Have we laughed about this and you anytime you bring it up, I'm like, yeah, babe, I was playing the long game. I was going to be patient for eight years and just waiting now.
00:03:23
Speaker 2: So, but yes, this is an invent eventationship event aventation ship okay, so is what it's officially described as an agreement between two singles who commit to being each other's plus ones, oftentimes around wedding season, but even any kind of event. This is your person who you bring with you and you all show up for each other and the relationship is specifically designed around attending events.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: Okay, first question, are you acting as if you are a couple at these events?
00:04:00
Speaker 2: So they actually give people who want to explore this type of a relationship just some tips, some pro tips, and among them is when people start asking you, so is this your boyfriend or who is this? And how do you introduce this person who you have clearly defined boundaries with as an inventationship, you should say, we're just really getting to know each other right now and having fun.
00:04:23
Speaker 3: That is what they say.
00:04:25
Speaker 2: How you should describe your relationship to anyone who asks have.
00:04:29
Speaker 1: A second question, is this a person that is already a friend of yours, someone you're close to, or it can be a rando like this woman who's hired a guy like you said, I.
00:04:40
Speaker 3: Think that might be the extreme version in this movie.
00:04:43
Speaker 1: But this is somebody in your wheelhouse, a friend, but not someone you are romantically linkedine.
00:04:48
Speaker 2: So it says you might not actually be committed to each other or in a romantic relationship, but you do share an agreement to be each other's plus ones.
00:04:57
Speaker 3: And they wanted to point out this is different than a.
00:04:59
Speaker 2: Situationship, which we heard so much about it Love Island, because apparently those are messy. Remember Kada kept talking about, We're not in a situationship.
00:05:07
Speaker 3: That's messy at all. The way we define these, well.
00:05:10
Speaker 1: We're committed, but not boyfriend girlfriend, that thing.
00:05:14
Speaker 2: We haven't done a whole episode, that weird thing that Zach created. We're beyond closed off. We're committed to each other. We're not in a situationship, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: All right, go on.
00:05:27
Speaker 2: But the eventationship is different from a situationship because when it comes to an eventationship, you and your partner are actually agreeing to specific roles for each other. And the whole idea behind a situationship is that it is ambiguous.
00:05:44
Speaker 3: This is specific.
00:05:45
Speaker 2: This is actually has clear boundaries and is anything but ambiguous because you've laid it out with this person.
00:05:51
Speaker 3: We're going to be each other's plus one.
00:05:54
Speaker 1: Have another question, how do you handle the hotel room? How do you behave when you're there? You hold hands? Are we supposed to put on as a couple? Okay, I got a question.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: This is so interesting because this is what was. You just got me to the next part of this. So they acknowledge that the eventationship can be tricky because there are a lot of questions about how to behave, what to do, what not to do. So they say, yes, if you're if especially if this is about going to weddings, and I think this is where this is most often used. Weddings are romantic and it makes them a breeding ground for misplaced feelings. So they say, before the event, you actually need to talk to your partner about what the boundaries are. Are we holding hands for photos? Are we kissing? Are we keeping this strictly platonic? And to each partnership you can create those boundaries.
00:06:47
Speaker 3: Some of them may even say, yeah.
00:06:49
Speaker 2: Will will have fun, We'll we'll explore each other physically romantically, But it begins and ends with the date.
00:06:59
Speaker 3: What this is where Look, this.
00:07:02
Speaker 2: Is a whole other generation of folks who have Reddit posts and forums to discuss different dating trends. And yeah, I could see someone about Ava's age sitting down with some guy saying, Okay, here's what the boundaries are. But they say, if you don't have the clear boundaries, when you take someone to a wedding and they're all the feelds and everyone's been drinking and there's dancing and there's music and there's love in the air, boom, feelings can sprout. So that is a dangerous, dangerous possibility.
00:07:32
Speaker 1: Just described a situationship in which the situation is very specific. We are together in these environments. It sounds like what you're saying here, Roped is that we have defined what our relationship and any intimacy in this relationship is going to be exclusive. Two events we decide to go to together. Is that what we're doing?
00:07:53
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:07:53
Speaker 2: And if you it's so funny the wedding date, if you sit down and actually watch this movie, probably won't. But yes, you know what, if I get Sabine over here, you will. That's the only way I can get you to watch a rom com is if Sabine comes because I believe when we were just on our most recent vacation, you asked Sabine, what's your favorite genre of movies?
00:08:12
Speaker 3: And she kind of shyly said rom com.
00:08:16
Speaker 1: It was it was like asking her where she wants to go to college, and she didn't say Arkansas. It was it hurt she didn't say horror movies. I was very hurt rom com.
00:08:25
Speaker 3: Here's a news flash.
00:08:27
Speaker 2: Almost all girls, starting at age thirteen, their favorite genre of movies is rom com. Not everybody, but it's I would say it's a high percentage. And so yes, this movie. The wedding date is exactly what we're talking about. And it's funny because obviously at the time I would never have thought this was a dating trend or that anyone did this.
00:08:50
Speaker 3: But it makes sense. Look, you're you're.
00:08:52
Speaker 2: Trying to not be that single who doesn't have anyone to talk to, and especially if all your friends have boyfriends, you're whatever, whatever wedding you're going to, it makes sense to have a pact with someone who you trust, someone who you like, or yes, even in this case, someone you hire.
00:09:07
Speaker 1: A couple more questions here, One of them, is there a place you can think of that. I'll stick with women here for a second, that it is more important for a woman for her in her own mind, to show up with an impressive date.
00:09:26
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think a wedding.
00:09:27
Speaker 1: Is there anything else? What could you possibly go to?
00:09:30
Speaker 2: I think it's a wedding because I'm trying to think of another event that you would feel slightly uncomfortable.
00:09:37
Speaker 1: What about a high school reunion or something like that.
00:09:39
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, but unless unless you got your side set on an old flame.
00:09:43
Speaker 3: Yes, you're right, it would probably.
00:09:44
Speaker 2: Everyone usually brings their spouse, Everyone usually brings their significant other to go to a high school reunion alone, and maybe that would make you feel a certain way.
00:09:54
Speaker 1: And going to a wedding alone is a problem.
00:09:55
Speaker 3: I agree both of those.
00:09:57
Speaker 2: You're right, that's a good other place, a high school reunion, although you gotta hope your other person is just puts it on and is good, because yeah, there might be some probing questions.
00:10:07
Speaker 1: You know, I say this to you a lot. I know you don't like it, but I mean it like baby, don't worry. Promise I'm gonna behave when you take me seriously, bro, when you go around family, when you go around you go to certain places where I realize. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some bum. I'm not cutting up at places, but there are times we understand it's important. You're not gonna say to me, TJ strain your talk. Can you wear this for me? I really like when you wear this clone that you're not gonna do that now. But I pay particular attention to making sure I am on point when it's something for you.
00:10:41
Speaker 2: Yes, And I do think that is what in real relationships. And I don't want to say an inventationship is not a real relationship, but it's a version of one. But in an actual romantic relationship, that is what partners do. They hopefully they show up for each other and they say, I'll put on my best face, nice for you, for your friends, for your family, and let's do this. And so that is kind of what you're agreeing to an inventationship.
00:11:06
Speaker 1: You don't like that sometimes because you think I am faking it. That's not what I'm saying. It's like, oh, he doesn't want to be here and he's just.
00:11:11
Speaker 3: Fucking That is sometimes how it does interpret that.
00:11:13
Speaker 1: No, it's just but still I'm no, come on, no, no, in everybody out, this is what you do for your loved one, and it's not you know, if you see it as a chore, that's the problem. It is actually a responsibility and it's loving. Yes, it's the right thing to do.
00:11:28
Speaker 3: It's a giving thing to do.
00:11:29
Speaker 1: It absolutely is. I had another question about it. Even aship, okay, is there infidelity and eventationships? Meaning she took me to the last wedding, she's taking who to this one? They're not dating either.
00:11:49
Speaker 2: Seriously, I imply that there are feelings because that's interesting because if it's just an e ventationship, but we have an agreement, I'm your person, you're person, I think you should go to the person and say, yeah, I'm a move on to another person.
00:12:02
Speaker 1: Look.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: And so when we come back, we're going to talk about how things can get messy, because yes, there are a lot of warnings, a lot of potential problems in this seemingly easy, almost professional relationship that you've created. But guess what, don't we all kind of want a rom com ending that's the problem. Welcome back everyone to Amy and TJ. I love these episodes when we get to talk about dating trends and yes we can call them a new dating trend, but oftentimes they're as old as time is. It's just we've got a name and a hashtag to go along with it.
00:12:46
Speaker 1: But yes, you ever known anybody to do this?
00:12:49
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone would admit it. That's the thing.
00:12:52
Speaker 2: When you're in an eventationship, you're not acknowledging it to anyone else.
00:12:55
Speaker 3: You're keeping it to.
00:12:56
Speaker 2: Yourself, and you're saying, we're just really enjoying getting to know each other right now and having fun. You're not actually saying we have a pact. Maybe you might tell your best girlfriend, but I think most of these types of relationships are in an effort to not appear like you're not dating anywhere.
00:13:13
Speaker 1: I think I've been dragged to something before.
00:13:16
Speaker 3: You have you think one I'm arranged.
00:13:23
Speaker 1: I think I have like the understanding it was no big deal, like doing a favor, like who's the most impressive friend in her circle? That's a guy, and that was me because I'll show up and I'll behave I'm trying to think of what it was.
00:13:35
Speaker 3: Was it a wedding?
00:13:35
Speaker 1: Was a wedding? It was an event? It wasn't Well, can some.
00:13:39
Speaker 2: Of these events that we have to go to when you're in a certain line of work. Yes, can be boring and overwhelming, and all the small talk can feel very scary. So to have someone by your side, I totally get that, Like, that's awesome.
00:13:50
Speaker 3: To have like a bff.
00:13:52
Speaker 2: But was this person Was she passing you off as a romantic interest or a possible relationship?
00:13:58
Speaker 3: That was a conversation understood that you came as a friend?
00:14:02
Speaker 2: No?
00:14:03
Speaker 1: From no, because from a distance, assumptions were made. We don't have to go talk to everybody and the place and have a conversation. It's just from a distance. She's there with a guy. He has on a nice suit.
00:14:14
Speaker 3: She's got a date. Yes, she's got got a date.
00:14:17
Speaker 2: You're a date, all right. So here's when things can get difficult. And folks who talk about eventationships say, look, when you this is what they said, when you strip away the.
00:14:29
Speaker 3: Anxiety of where is this going? Do they like me?
00:14:33
Speaker 2: So that often happens when you're dating someone in the early stages and you're going to these types of events.
00:14:38
Speaker 3: They say, when you take away all of that.
00:14:39
Speaker 2: Anxiety, because you have an arranged, established boundary, you actually get to see that other person in an authentic, relaxed state because no one's trying to impress anyone else. And then they say, you're also watching how that other person handles travel, delays, possible family drama. They're getting to know maybe your inner circle. And if you you can survive all of that, maybe you might actually realize you'd rather have them with you on a random Tuesday or maybe an actual real date. Maybe it's time to renegotiate the term. So when I read that, I started laughing out loud, and I thought, here's where all, well, so many of us girls and some boys too, I'm sure get ahead of ourselves.
00:15:25
Speaker 3: We start imagining the rom com and the making. Here's this person that.
00:15:30
Speaker 2: I thought I was just taking with me along to events, to weddings, and turns out, wow, we're actually falling in love. I do wonder how often that might be in the back of either person's mind. There might be a hope, because to ask somebody to come as you're plus one in an eventationship, wouldn't that imply you like being around them, You like spending time with them, You enjoy their company, you like going to stressful situations with them because they make you feel more at ease.
00:16:01
Speaker 3: Isn't that the most amazing foundation for a relationship period.
00:16:05
Speaker 1: You described the first eight years.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: Absolutely we were with I think we were in an eventuationship and in an eventationship because we did go to all of those events together, and we would be the two people if we showed up alone, which we did oftentimes so many work events, we would literally find each other across the room. There's that one song, and I always think about you.
00:16:29
Speaker 3: I look for you when I'm a room full of people, in a room full of people, I look for you.
00:16:37
Speaker 2: Summer, I always think about you because that was us. And then we queue up together and we're thick as thieves.
00:16:44
Speaker 1: But I'm surprised you didn't recognize it as you were saying it. You were just the thing you were just describing. Is us to get a chance to get to know someone without the pressure, without the expectations in all of those environment What what do you want to see somebody with? You want to see how they handle stress. You want to see how they are with their family. You want to meet their family without the pressure.
00:17:07
Speaker 2: You met my entire family with everybody think they'd come to GMA. We would all interact until out we went to dinners like, absolutely, we.
00:17:16
Speaker 1: Don't have to be introduced. So it's so when you were describing that, that makes sense. And now I am on board with this as a precursor, right, I am on board with this being a potential way to find a good mate when you don't have the pressure, when you can be friends, when you can relax and still, I guess be collecting information about someone without the pressure of what you're going to do with it. Or I'm the last one. There is the one they got me. And now we look at this movie. Now are they sleeping in the room together? What is this?
00:17:51
Speaker 2: Oh? I think they have to you know, in the rom comms they always have like the guy sleeps on the floor while she sleeps on the bed because they're having to pretend. Oh the proposal, same concept in a way where you she it was a whole thing about her having to get married to Rise. But still they were pretending they were in a relationship when they weren't. And he's sleeping on the floor. This is Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. She's on the bed, he's on the floor. There are so many rom coms where yeah, they're pretending to be in a relationship and in the end they find love. That's what we all want in the end, isn't.
00:18:26
Speaker 1: It would suck?
00:18:28
Speaker 2: I actually think it'd be really interesting the horror movie too.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: It's all in one.
00:18:34
Speaker 1: The horror comes at the end. It's weird, but then.
00:18:38
Speaker 3: It all still has a happy ending. It really is. It's a quirky movie that maybe one day we'll write.
00:18:43
Speaker 1: This will be a Christopher Nolan five and a half hour story.
00:18:47
Speaker 2: It'll be the odd dissy yes in every way. All right with that, everyone, we always appreciate.
00:18:52
Speaker 3: You listening to us. I made me Robock alongside TJ. Holmes. We'll talk to
00:19:00
Speaker 1: The kitchen Pat
Speaker 1: Hey, folks, it is Saturday, August eighth, and have you ever seen a movie called The Wedding Date stars Deborah Messing and Dylan mulroney Dermott. Yes, yes, he's mister what mister ram calm himself. If you've ever seen that movie? Would you believe that what happened in that whole rom com scenario is now actually an emerging dating trend. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. I have just put the movie on in the background here. I've never seen this movie. The scenario is typical rom com ridiculousness, and it's what what's the synopsis of the movie.
00:00:45
Speaker 2: The synopsis is that Kat, who's played by Deborah Messing, is single and dreading attending her sister's wedding in London because her ex fiance is the best man, So she hires a handsome professional marier escort named Nick Toposes her new boyfriend. But as the wedding events unfold, their fake relationship turns into real feelings.
00:01:07
Speaker 3: Oh no, and they fall in love.
00:01:08
Speaker 1: Is that what happens? I didn't see it. I didn't.
00:01:11
Speaker 3: I didn't there's a false ending.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: I forgot what it is.
00:01:14
Speaker 3: But then yes, it turns out they actually love each other.
00:01:17
Speaker 1: You've seen the movie oh multiple times.
00:01:20
Speaker 3: I don't know if they marry, but they're together.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: Spoiler alert, and what the hell?
00:01:24
Speaker 2: Then? Also, remember this one just is pretty recent. It's not exactly the same, but pretty close. Anyone but you, of course, that is with Sidney Sweeney. And who's the dude's name, the hot guy that.
00:01:37
Speaker 3: Everybody loves, Glenn Powell.
00:01:39
Speaker 2: Yes, Glenn Powell and Sidney Sweeney, same exact thing where yes, they have a great first date, but then they hate each other, but then they find themselves at a destination wedding and pretend to be the perfect couple to keep up appearances, and then they actually fall in love.
00:01:57
Speaker 1: Okay, so we'll just telling me, and she has a great name of it to share with you. But there's a new not new? Is this a new trend? Necessarily?
00:02:08
Speaker 2: Are they keeping they're calling it a new dating trend? But it's been around, obviously at least since the wedding date, which was what I don't know how many years ago, twenty years ago.
00:02:17
Speaker 1: You're telling me this is an emerging trend, a legit dating trend right now, And I think.
00:02:21
Speaker 3: These emerging trends are trends because they're being.
00:02:23
Speaker 2: Called out or discussed on TikTok and other social media outlets. But this is called an eventationship. And it's funny because eventually, when I saw it, I thought it was an eventuationship. So I thought, oh, this is cool, like you start off as friends and eventually you hope you get into a relationship.
00:02:42
Speaker 3: But I read it wrong.
00:02:42
Speaker 1: There's no you in there.
00:02:44
Speaker 2: It's not an eventuationship, which is what I initially thought it was, which is why I clicked on it.
00:02:48
Speaker 1: Because shots got to be a trend.
00:02:50
Speaker 2: This is interesting and I think maybe we can look into that one as well.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: But that's what I thought I was reading.
00:02:55
Speaker 1: That's what we were in.
00:02:56
Speaker 3: We were in an eventuationship for eight years. We've played the long game, and you know what, we're laughing.
00:03:04
Speaker 2: But that is why I clicked on it, babe, because I thought, I know a little something about an eventuation ship. Seeds have been planted, you don't really realize what's happening, and all of a sudden, eventually you're in a full blown ruw sace.
00:03:15
Speaker 1: Have we laughed about this and you anytime you bring it up, I'm like, yeah, babe, I was playing the long game. I was going to be patient for eight years and just waiting now.
00:03:23
Speaker 2: So, but yes, this is an invent eventationship event aventation ship okay, so is what it's officially described as an agreement between two singles who commit to being each other's plus ones, oftentimes around wedding season, but even any kind of event. This is your person who you bring with you and you all show up for each other and the relationship is specifically designed around attending events.
00:03:55
Speaker 1: Okay, first question, are you acting as if you are a couple at these events?
00:04:00
Speaker 2: So they actually give people who want to explore this type of a relationship just some tips, some pro tips, and among them is when people start asking you, so is this your boyfriend or who is this? And how do you introduce this person who you have clearly defined boundaries with as an inventationship, you should say, we're just really getting to know each other right now and having fun.
00:04:23
Speaker 3: That is what they say.
00:04:25
Speaker 2: How you should describe your relationship to anyone who asks have.
00:04:29
Speaker 1: A second question, is this a person that is already a friend of yours, someone you're close to, or it can be a rando like this woman who's hired a guy like you said, I.
00:04:40
Speaker 3: Think that might be the extreme version in this movie.
00:04:43
Speaker 1: But this is somebody in your wheelhouse, a friend, but not someone you are romantically linkedine.
00:04:48
Speaker 2: So it says you might not actually be committed to each other or in a romantic relationship, but you do share an agreement to be each other's plus ones.
00:04:57
Speaker 3: And they wanted to point out this is different than a.
00:04:59
Speaker 2: Situationship, which we heard so much about it Love Island, because apparently those are messy. Remember Kada kept talking about, We're not in a situationship.
00:05:07
Speaker 3: That's messy at all. The way we define these, well.
00:05:10
Speaker 1: We're committed, but not boyfriend girlfriend, that thing.
00:05:14
Speaker 2: We haven't done a whole episode, that weird thing that Zach created. We're beyond closed off. We're committed to each other. We're not in a situationship, but we're not boyfriend and girlfriend.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: All right, go on.
00:05:27
Speaker 2: But the eventationship is different from a situationship because when it comes to an eventationship, you and your partner are actually agreeing to specific roles for each other. And the whole idea behind a situationship is that it is ambiguous.
00:05:44
Speaker 3: This is specific.
00:05:45
Speaker 2: This is actually has clear boundaries and is anything but ambiguous because you've laid it out with this person.
00:05:51
Speaker 3: We're going to be each other's plus one.
00:05:54
Speaker 1: Have another question, how do you handle the hotel room? How do you behave when you're there? You hold hands? Are we supposed to put on as a couple? Okay, I got a question.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: This is so interesting because this is what was. You just got me to the next part of this. So they acknowledge that the eventationship can be tricky because there are a lot of questions about how to behave, what to do, what not to do. So they say, yes, if you're if especially if this is about going to weddings, and I think this is where this is most often used. Weddings are romantic and it makes them a breeding ground for misplaced feelings. So they say, before the event, you actually need to talk to your partner about what the boundaries are. Are we holding hands for photos? Are we kissing? Are we keeping this strictly platonic? And to each partnership you can create those boundaries.
00:06:47
Speaker 3: Some of them may even say, yeah.
00:06:49
Speaker 2: Will will have fun, We'll we'll explore each other physically romantically, But it begins and ends with the date.
00:06:59
Speaker 3: What this is where Look, this.
00:07:02
Speaker 2: Is a whole other generation of folks who have Reddit posts and forums to discuss different dating trends. And yeah, I could see someone about Ava's age sitting down with some guy saying, Okay, here's what the boundaries are. But they say, if you don't have the clear boundaries, when you take someone to a wedding and they're all the feelds and everyone's been drinking and there's dancing and there's music and there's love in the air, boom, feelings can sprout. So that is a dangerous, dangerous possibility.
00:07:32
Speaker 1: Just described a situationship in which the situation is very specific. We are together in these environments. It sounds like what you're saying here, Roped is that we have defined what our relationship and any intimacy in this relationship is going to be exclusive. Two events we decide to go to together. Is that what we're doing?
00:07:53
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:07:53
Speaker 2: And if you it's so funny the wedding date, if you sit down and actually watch this movie, probably won't. But yes, you know what, if I get Sabine over here, you will. That's the only way I can get you to watch a rom com is if Sabine comes because I believe when we were just on our most recent vacation, you asked Sabine, what's your favorite genre of movies?
00:08:12
Speaker 3: And she kind of shyly said rom com.
00:08:16
Speaker 1: It was it was like asking her where she wants to go to college, and she didn't say Arkansas. It was it hurt she didn't say horror movies. I was very hurt rom com.
00:08:25
Speaker 3: Here's a news flash.
00:08:27
Speaker 2: Almost all girls, starting at age thirteen, their favorite genre of movies is rom com. Not everybody, but it's I would say it's a high percentage. And so yes, this movie. The wedding date is exactly what we're talking about. And it's funny because obviously at the time I would never have thought this was a dating trend or that anyone did this.
00:08:50
Speaker 3: But it makes sense. Look, you're you're.
00:08:52
Speaker 2: Trying to not be that single who doesn't have anyone to talk to, and especially if all your friends have boyfriends, you're whatever, whatever wedding you're going to, it makes sense to have a pact with someone who you trust, someone who you like, or yes, even in this case, someone you hire.
00:09:07
Speaker 1: A couple more questions here, One of them, is there a place you can think of that. I'll stick with women here for a second, that it is more important for a woman for her in her own mind, to show up with an impressive date.
00:09:26
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I think a wedding.
00:09:27
Speaker 1: Is there anything else? What could you possibly go to?
00:09:30
Speaker 2: I think it's a wedding because I'm trying to think of another event that you would feel slightly uncomfortable.
00:09:37
Speaker 1: What about a high school reunion or something like that.
00:09:39
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, yeah, but unless unless you got your side set on an old flame.
00:09:43
Speaker 3: Yes, you're right, it would probably.
00:09:44
Speaker 2: Everyone usually brings their spouse, Everyone usually brings their significant other to go to a high school reunion alone, and maybe that would make you feel a certain way.
00:09:54
Speaker 1: And going to a wedding alone is a problem.
00:09:55
Speaker 3: I agree both of those.
00:09:57
Speaker 2: You're right, that's a good other place, a high school reunion, although you gotta hope your other person is just puts it on and is good, because yeah, there might be some probing questions.
00:10:07
Speaker 1: You know, I say this to you a lot. I know you don't like it, but I mean it like baby, don't worry. Promise I'm gonna behave when you take me seriously, bro, when you go around family, when you go around you go to certain places where I realize. Don't get me wrong, I'm not some bum. I'm not cutting up at places, but there are times we understand it's important. You're not gonna say to me, TJ strain your talk. Can you wear this for me? I really like when you wear this clone that you're not gonna do that now. But I pay particular attention to making sure I am on point when it's something for you.
00:10:41
Speaker 2: Yes, And I do think that is what in real relationships. And I don't want to say an inventationship is not a real relationship, but it's a version of one. But in an actual romantic relationship, that is what partners do. They hopefully they show up for each other and they say, I'll put on my best face, nice for you, for your friends, for your family, and let's do this. And so that is kind of what you're agreeing to an inventationship.
00:11:06
Speaker 1: You don't like that sometimes because you think I am faking it. That's not what I'm saying. It's like, oh, he doesn't want to be here and he's just.
00:11:11
Speaker 3: Fucking That is sometimes how it does interpret that.
00:11:13
Speaker 1: No, it's just but still I'm no, come on, no, no, in everybody out, this is what you do for your loved one, and it's not you know, if you see it as a chore, that's the problem. It is actually a responsibility and it's loving. Yes, it's the right thing to do.
00:11:28
Speaker 3: It's a giving thing to do.
00:11:29
Speaker 1: It absolutely is. I had another question about it. Even aship, okay, is there infidelity and eventationships? Meaning she took me to the last wedding, she's taking who to this one? They're not dating either.
00:11:49
Speaker 2: Seriously, I imply that there are feelings because that's interesting because if it's just an e ventationship, but we have an agreement, I'm your person, you're person, I think you should go to the person and say, yeah, I'm a move on to another person.
00:12:02
Speaker 1: Look.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: And so when we come back, we're going to talk about how things can get messy, because yes, there are a lot of warnings, a lot of potential problems in this seemingly easy, almost professional relationship that you've created. But guess what, don't we all kind of want a rom com ending that's the problem. Welcome back everyone to Amy and TJ. I love these episodes when we get to talk about dating trends and yes we can call them a new dating trend, but oftentimes they're as old as time is. It's just we've got a name and a hashtag to go along with it.
00:12:46
Speaker 1: But yes, you ever known anybody to do this?
00:12:49
Speaker 3: I don't think anyone would admit it. That's the thing.
00:12:52
Speaker 2: When you're in an eventationship, you're not acknowledging it to anyone else.
00:12:55
Speaker 3: You're keeping it to.
00:12:56
Speaker 2: Yourself, and you're saying, we're just really enjoying getting to know each other right now and having fun. You're not actually saying we have a pact. Maybe you might tell your best girlfriend, but I think most of these types of relationships are in an effort to not appear like you're not dating anywhere.
00:13:13
Speaker 1: I think I've been dragged to something before.
00:13:16
Speaker 3: You have you think one I'm arranged.
00:13:23
Speaker 1: I think I have like the understanding it was no big deal, like doing a favor, like who's the most impressive friend in her circle? That's a guy, and that was me because I'll show up and I'll behave I'm trying to think of what it was.
00:13:35
Speaker 3: Was it a wedding?
00:13:35
Speaker 1: Was a wedding? It was an event? It wasn't Well, can some.
00:13:39
Speaker 2: Of these events that we have to go to when you're in a certain line of work. Yes, can be boring and overwhelming, and all the small talk can feel very scary. So to have someone by your side, I totally get that, Like, that's awesome.
00:13:50
Speaker 3: To have like a bff.
00:13:52
Speaker 2: But was this person Was she passing you off as a romantic interest or a possible relationship?
00:13:58
Speaker 3: That was a conversation understood that you came as a friend?
00:14:02
Speaker 2: No?
00:14:03
Speaker 1: From no, because from a distance, assumptions were made. We don't have to go talk to everybody and the place and have a conversation. It's just from a distance. She's there with a guy. He has on a nice suit.
00:14:14
Speaker 3: She's got a date. Yes, she's got got a date.
00:14:17
Speaker 2: You're a date, all right. So here's when things can get difficult. And folks who talk about eventationships say, look, when you this is what they said, when you strip away the.
00:14:29
Speaker 3: Anxiety of where is this going? Do they like me?
00:14:33
Speaker 2: So that often happens when you're dating someone in the early stages and you're going to these types of events.
00:14:38
Speaker 3: They say, when you take away all of that.
00:14:39
Speaker 2: Anxiety, because you have an arranged, established boundary, you actually get to see that other person in an authentic, relaxed state because no one's trying to impress anyone else. And then they say, you're also watching how that other person handles travel, delays, possible family drama. They're getting to know maybe your inner circle. And if you you can survive all of that, maybe you might actually realize you'd rather have them with you on a random Tuesday or maybe an actual real date. Maybe it's time to renegotiate the term. So when I read that, I started laughing out loud, and I thought, here's where all, well, so many of us girls and some boys too, I'm sure get ahead of ourselves.
00:15:25
Speaker 3: We start imagining the rom com and the making. Here's this person that.
00:15:30
Speaker 2: I thought I was just taking with me along to events, to weddings, and turns out, wow, we're actually falling in love. I do wonder how often that might be in the back of either person's mind. There might be a hope, because to ask somebody to come as you're plus one in an eventationship, wouldn't that imply you like being around them, You like spending time with them, You enjoy their company, you like going to stressful situations with them because they make you feel more at ease.
00:16:01
Speaker 3: Isn't that the most amazing foundation for a relationship period.
00:16:05
Speaker 1: You described the first eight years.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: Absolutely we were with I think we were in an eventuationship and in an eventationship because we did go to all of those events together, and we would be the two people if we showed up alone, which we did oftentimes so many work events, we would literally find each other across the room. There's that one song, and I always think about you.
00:16:29
Speaker 3: I look for you when I'm a room full of people, in a room full of people, I look for you.
00:16:37
Speaker 2: Summer, I always think about you because that was us. And then we queue up together and we're thick as thieves.
00:16:44
Speaker 1: But I'm surprised you didn't recognize it as you were saying it. You were just the thing you were just describing. Is us to get a chance to get to know someone without the pressure, without the expectations in all of those environment What what do you want to see somebody with? You want to see how they handle stress. You want to see how they are with their family. You want to meet their family without the pressure.
00:17:07
Speaker 2: You met my entire family with everybody think they'd come to GMA. We would all interact until out we went to dinners like, absolutely, we.
00:17:16
Speaker 1: Don't have to be introduced. So it's so when you were describing that, that makes sense. And now I am on board with this as a precursor, right, I am on board with this being a potential way to find a good mate when you don't have the pressure, when you can be friends, when you can relax and still, I guess be collecting information about someone without the pressure of what you're going to do with it. Or I'm the last one. There is the one they got me. And now we look at this movie. Now are they sleeping in the room together? What is this?
00:17:51
Speaker 2: Oh? I think they have to you know, in the rom comms they always have like the guy sleeps on the floor while she sleeps on the bed because they're having to pretend. Oh the proposal, same concept in a way where you she it was a whole thing about her having to get married to Rise. But still they were pretending they were in a relationship when they weren't. And he's sleeping on the floor. This is Sandra Bullock and Ryan Reynolds. She's on the bed, he's on the floor. There are so many rom coms where yeah, they're pretending to be in a relationship and in the end they find love. That's what we all want in the end, isn't.
00:18:26
Speaker 1: It would suck?
00:18:28
Speaker 2: I actually think it'd be really interesting the horror movie too.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: It's all in one.
00:18:34
Speaker 1: The horror comes at the end. It's weird, but then.
00:18:38
Speaker 3: It all still has a happy ending. It really is. It's a quirky movie that maybe one day we'll write.
00:18:43
Speaker 1: This will be a Christopher Nolan five and a half hour story.
00:18:47
Speaker 2: It'll be the odd dissy yes in every way. All right with that, everyone, we always appreciate.
00:18:52
Speaker 3: You listening to us. I made me Robock alongside TJ. Holmes. We'll talk to
00:19:00
Speaker 1: The kitchen Pat