Man Armed With Kitty Litter-ally Robs Bank

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks, it is Thursday, July sixteenth. Then how is it possible that a bank robbery could be adorable? Well when the accomplice in that robbery is a three month old tuxedo kitten by the name of Magnolia. And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. This was a bit of a crime spree by this bank cropper. Yes, steals cat nicos, try to steal some money.

00:00:28
Speaker 2: Yes, and I love one of the headlines. Everyone had some fun with puns on this one.

00:00:32
Speaker 1: But give you some options here. What do you like?

00:00:34
Speaker 2: Yeah, you have feline felon or kitty literally literally rob's bank or the perfect crime you got cat burglar. I also saw one where the only thing tuxedos oh sorry, Magnolia is accused of stealing is everyone's hearts.

00:00:51
Speaker 1: It's the what was it the shelter where the not the shelter, but what am I saying? The pet store where the cat was taken from. They are still trying to get the cat adopted, and they said her life of crime is over, and also that she was looking for a law abiding citizen to be forever home. Anyway, you all this is look, this is a crime story, but man, it's given us a little laugh and a little relief and ropes kind of to the point. Yeah, I didn't talk to you about this. I know we were just getting here and I'm a little tired, not feeling great, and maybe I'm not thinking clearly, but I wanted to call about adopting this cat.

00:01:30
Speaker 2: The cat is one of the cutest cats I've ever seen.

00:01:32
Speaker 1: I want to call about this cat. I'm sure somebody's gotten the cat. I now because it became famous, we might need to place a call. Yeah, I would be on board with this cat.

00:01:41
Speaker 2: This cat is adorable, a black and white tuxedo cat. That's why I almost called Magnolia tuxedo. Apologies to Magnolia, but she is absolutely adorable, as in, one of the cutest cats I've ever seen.

00:01:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's a bankropper, because, as the story goes in Maryland this week, this is a lit rose. This is one of the funniest bank robbers you're ever hear, even though we got some other funny ones to share with you, but this happened in Beltsville, Maryland this week, where Rodes, a guy on his way to rob a bank, made a stop first, and that's why he ended up with Magnolia.

00:02:16
Speaker 2: That's right. So he actually takes a kitten from the nearby pet store, and apparently, according to the workers there at the pet store, he had gone in every single day for a week, went straight to Magnolia and would just look at the cat. So he obviously was either devising his plan, he had an affection for the cat and he couldn't afford her, or maybe he was just I don't know, staring at her because she's so cute.

00:02:44
Speaker 1: Maybe that was well, this is an adorable cat. I can't if you have a plan to rob a bank, I can't imagine you spend most of your case the bank. He went into a pet store.

00:02:53
Speaker 2: He was casing a pet store.

00:02:55
Speaker 1: Okay, so he goes into this pet store. Okay, So this is what happens. According the authorities, This man goes in to this pet store, snatches three month old mac Noya, runs out of the store, runs directly robes to a P and C bank that we understand is in the same shopping center as this pet store. Runs into the bank, gets in line, goes up to the tailor, and hands the teller the cat, essentially saying can you hold this? And that's when he made a demand for the money. They give him money. He runs out to my understanding with a little cash and the cat, yes, but takes his cat back.

00:03:37
Speaker 2: He actually but when he hands the kitten over to the teller, he takes the time to write a note correct demanding the money, which I just think is so funny, like he didn't have a note ready, or he didn't have a plan in place he needed. He wanted her to be distracted. I guess he thought that would she would be so enamored by how cute this cat was that she would kind of get distracted. And then when he handed her the note, yeah, she just hand over the cash. So it sounded like his plan actually.

00:04:03
Speaker 1: Robes Now that you say it that way, this is brilliant because who doesn't love a kitten. It's not even a cat. You are going to be so caught up and disarmed if you see an adorable three month old.

00:04:16
Speaker 2: So who needs to be armed when you can disarm everyone with your cute kitten.

00:04:22
Speaker 1: And that was his plan, and that is what happened. So he gets out the cat and this guy was caught fairly immediately. We should say that fairly immediately. It was funny robes that the pet store folks. The manager says she got a call from her employees that somebody had snatched Magnolian taken off, So she goes over to the store. She sees all this police activity. She's like, holy hell, all this were a little cat.

00:04:45
Speaker 2: That is funny, because I'm sure she was thinking, there's no way the response would be this for a kitten up for adoption, and she was correct. It was about the bank and the money that he had been able to at least temporarily get away.

00:05:00
Speaker 1: We don't know what's happening here robes with this guy, what his intentions, what is but how smart of a plan this was. There was a suggestion and plenty of local reports that this guy did have some kind of mental issues, had some problems and robes that sound like from what we're describing here. We'll get more details, but Rose's making a lot of headlines. I guess because no one was injured, body was harmed, that we can look at this and smile a little bit, But it is awfully bizarre. I've not heard of one like this, and I am I don't know if you're taking me seriously about this cat.

00:05:33
Speaker 2: Uh No, I actually am seriously telling you that I would be more than happy to welcome Magnolia into our home because she's that damn cute. Now, I do believe in these types of stories, there is almost certainly a long line people line up for these types of cats. And the good thing is, Look, this is a serious story. But I do love the silver lining here that a first of all, Magnolia wasn't harmed, but b that there's a renewed attention to animals that need homes, and so that is always a good thing that we now believe it's almost certain if not if she's not given to us, she will land in a wonderful home that will be very vetted because she'll have a long list of suitors that her pet store owners will be able to choose from.

00:06:19
Speaker 1: No, what can I ask when you go adopt a pet? Do they do a criminal background check on area?

00:06:24
Speaker 2: They do do a background check usually now, especially in shelters, Now pet stores, I'm trying to remember, because I do know that they want to make sure they're not just handing pets over to people who might have you know, certain are just aren't good pet owners. Aren't potentially good pet owners. People are turned away from adopting pets all the time because they aren't deemed they don't have a suitable living condition, they don't have the right disposition, maybe they have kids who are too young in the home, and is discretion absolutely wow, yes, And so if they don't they Each animal is different because an animal has different personalities, different needs, and so certain pets aren't a good match for certain owners. And their whole mission is to make sure these pets go and are matched correctly with the right owner, with the right family, and it's not you can have a mismatch. And the worst thing they don't want is to have anything any harm to come to the animal, or two months later to have the family come back and drop off the pet, which does happen.

00:07:22
Speaker 1: You know, people are calling like crazy about this cat. I might add to it.

00:07:25
Speaker 2: I see your wheels turning. You're being serious. I know you are a.

00:07:28
Speaker 1: Little black and white cat in our house. So it would be fantastic. And there's a part you want to find a special cat. Bro we would have a cat that literally was a part of a felony. I love that they committed a felony.

00:07:42
Speaker 2: I feel like that's perfect for us.

00:07:44
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:07:44
Speaker 2: Well, I'm just saying we do like thrillers and horror movies and all that kind of fun stuff. So yes, to have a story like that with the cat, that's fun.

00:07:52
Speaker 1: It's got history. Now we saw this. It is making a lot of headlines. Maybe you've seen it by now, but the cat is adorable, but the headlines are but robes. I was shocked. We've heard about bank robbies, all kinds of masks and weird things that happened. I was shocked at just how many bank robberies there are that border on being more bizarre, unusual and hilarious than this one.

00:08:18
Speaker 2: Yes, and probably all more than a movie script. I mean, these are the ones you picked out. I was having a blast reading through. So we should start.

00:08:26
Speaker 1: Let's start with the funniest one. I was gonna say this for last, but this is the funniest. It is called the Don't Want to Go Home Heist of twenty sixteen. This happened in Kansas City. Man by the name of Lawrence John Ripples, seventy one years old, pled guilty to one count of bank robbery. He goes into the bank, he hands a note to a teller, demands money. He gets twenty nine hundred and twenty four dollars, then robes you know what he did. He then went and sat in the lobby of that bank and waited on police. Even said to a security guard, I'm the guy you're looking for. Why would anybody do that?

00:08:59
Speaker 2: Well, the answer that he gave police, he said he'd gotten into a pretty nasty argument with his wife and he'd rather go to jail than go home.

00:09:09
Speaker 1: This is a one hundred percentury store.

00:09:10
Speaker 2: I wonder how his wife feels. He actually robbed a bank and chose to be caught, get me out of here so that he could go to prison rather than spend another hour with his wife at home. And he was sentenced to six months of this is the best part home confiness.

00:09:30
Speaker 1: That's the worst punishment ever.

00:09:32
Speaker 2: What judge had a sixth sense of humor and said, Oh, really, that's the worst place you could be his home. I sentence you to six months of home confinement.

00:09:40
Speaker 1: This was all you said. What his wife feel about it, they say he wrote the note in front of her, the banknote. At the end of the argument. He wrote the note, I'm out of here. I'm going to do this. He would rather go to jail than being a marriage. Folks. I don't know what's going on in your relationships, but if it gets anywhere close to this, you should make some different decisions. This was my absolute.

00:10:00
Speaker 2: Did he have no other option? Was this to get back at her, to humiliate her?

00:10:04
Speaker 1: What he said He had had hard surgery, been dealing with some depression, and you know what, they took it easy ow him because no history, criminal history.

00:10:11
Speaker 2: He's an elderly gentleman, seventy one years old, part.

00:10:15
Speaker 1: Of the community. He just had a moment. Get me away from this moment.

00:10:19
Speaker 2: It's like you just the last straw. I don't know what she said to him. I want to know what that argument was about, and I want to know what she said that sent him over the edge where he was just done.

00:10:30
Speaker 1: I'd rather go to jail.

00:10:31
Speaker 2: I do appreciate he didn't commit an act of violence. You know a lot of people in that moment might do something drastic, physically drastic, something you can't take back. At least he just wrote a note and then didn't even leave the bank with the money.

00:10:44
Speaker 1: All Right, The next one I call the fries with that shake robbery of twenty ten. This was in Fairfield, Connecticut. Albert Bailey twenty seven charged with felony robbery. The robbery he tried to robes call in his request folks. He called the ahead of time, demanded one hundred thousand dollars in large bills, said it needs to be waiting for me when I arrived.

00:11:07
Speaker 2: He wasn't even kidding. Most people would think that was a prank call. Yep, nobody would actually call in their order for their bank robbery. And yet he did. And then he showed up. Bank went into lockdown.

00:11:20
Speaker 1: It was the bank went into lockdown immediately up on the phone call. But inside the bank already was this guy's accomplished. Accomplished who was actually a miner, who handed an oat, asked for the money, and then they say, politely asked to be let out because it was in lockdown. Of course everybody was immediately caught. This was one that was funny Rose because the police themselves said they were cracking up at the idea of a drive through bankruptery.

00:11:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, how would they? How would he actually believe that he would pull this off because he had a miner doing it, and the kid could get away with it and he called it in. This is bizarre, but thank god for dumb criminals.

00:11:56
Speaker 1: Well they always say it rose to the criminals. They're not smart people, and that hilarious. The next one the bouquet bandit of twenty ten. This was in our city, New York City. Edward Pemberton is his name, was forty four years old. He was actually sent it to six to twelve years in prison. Robes two robberies in New York. But he walked into the banks holding a large bouquet of flowers and then would hand the note to the teller demanding money. He admitted later this was a tactic to avoid suspicion. I'm a black man walking in not necessarily put together in dirty, but somebody sees flowers and they immediately disarmed. That's kind of maybe the cat.

00:12:30
Speaker 2: Yes, maybe he was studying Edward Pemberton, but maybe he shouldn't have because Edward Pemberton was sentenced to six to twelve years in prison for this. But yes, the flowers are nice. It might throw you off a little bit, but a robber is still a robber, whether he's holding a bouquet of flowers or not.

00:12:47
Speaker 1: The next one, I call The Nature Robber of twenty of two thousand and seven. This was in Manchester, New Hampshire. Forty nine year old James Caldwell charged with bank robbery. He went into the bank robes with tree branches taped to his his body and his.

00:13:01
Speaker 2: Face, like actual tree branches.

00:13:03
Speaker 1: They have pictures of it.

00:13:04
Speaker 2: How did he tape something so heavy to his face?

00:13:07
Speaker 1: The fuck no, there are images of this and you're laughing. Here's the next bar you'll laugh at. He actually waited in line. He waited in lines.

00:13:17
Speaker 2: With tree ranches growing out of his face taped to him. So he too, hands a teller a note demanding cash. What is it about the note? Why can't you just say what you want?

00:13:26
Speaker 1: Because they would bring attention to everybody else from everybody if they hear your voice say I demand cash, or if you lean over and you're whispering in some way, it looks suspicious if you just hand a note.

00:13:37
Speaker 2: But who I guess you would hand. Maybe there were other things you could hand to a teller that would make sense that it wouldn't necessarily be a note. I always wonder that all right, Well, someone despite the branches, recognized him on television.

00:13:48
Speaker 1: It wasn't completely well. It almost looked like somebody peeking out from behind a bush. Is the way you looked like as he was standing in line. So they put his images everywhere. The story went everywhere, and somebody recognized them on television. They called him pretty soon. Now, of course, this is one that naturally came with some pretty funny lines from police officers and whatnot as well.

00:14:06
Speaker 2: Yes, I love the fantastic headlines that follow some of these ridiculous crimes. They went like, money doesn't grow on trees.

00:14:15
Speaker 1: That's not bad.

00:14:16
Speaker 2: He went out on a limb that was everywhere.

00:14:20
Speaker 1: He deserved that one.

00:14:21
Speaker 2: Uh.

00:14:21
Speaker 1: The next one here, I'll call the Actually, he's a white dude. Robberies of twenty ten. This was in Cincinnati, Conrad the Dearsiak maybe is his name, thirty years old, but he pled guilty to a string of robberies robes. He went in wearing a mask. It was a nice mask. It was lifelike, they said, even Hollywood quality masks that cost upwards of seven hundred plus dollars. Here's the thing, it's a great mask. The mask of was of a black man. He's white.

00:14:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, with the last name like Ziderziak. I would pretty much guess he is of European descent. Hey Polish, uh, yep, that reads.

00:15:01
Speaker 1: But he went in rob banks. They were looking for a black man and arrested one.

00:15:07
Speaker 2: Wow, so they actually believed that that was his face. The mask was that good.

00:15:12
Speaker 1: It was that good to the point the guy who was arrested his mom even picked him out and said, yeah, that looks like my son.

00:15:19
Speaker 2: Stop.

00:15:21
Speaker 1: Took them a while to finally figure this all out because they needed the guy's girlfriends as there was the act your Polish friend there. His girlfriend was the one that found cash and mask and turned him in. Had she not done that.

00:15:35
Speaker 2: Another man, a black man, would have taken the fall for him.

00:15:38
Speaker 1: I'm not sure how far he got along in that legal process before the girlfriend stepped in. But robes, that's a little scary. But when you see when you should look up the tree and the mask later you will go holy hell. But stay here. Got one more to tell you about a guy who did robes. This might be the dumbest of all of them. We'll explain, and we're gonna call him the new customer robber, and then we'll tell you crime statistics. Having to do with the bank robberies in the United States. Bank robberies are way way, way down.

00:16:10
Speaker 2: Stay here, welcome back to this episode of Amy and TJ. Yes, this recent cat burglar feline felon that's been making the headlines has inspired us to take a look at some of the other most ridiculous bank robberies in recent history. And while yes, it did seem quite adorable and cute that a man would use a brand new, three month old black and white tuxedo kitten named Magnolia are distract the bank teller to try and get money, he was caught. Kitten's okay. There have been some other hilarious antics that bank robbers have tried to employ to get away with the cash. Pretty much all of them have failed. But we do marvel at the idiocy of some of these criminals, and I'm appreciative of how stupid they are because it just means they get caught.

00:17:10
Speaker 1: Okay, you're gonna have to I'm one. I'm curious here what everybody thinks. We haven't discussed this ahead of time. If you think this was intentional, with this a plan, or it was just off the cuff. So Daniel Rain's thirty five years old. Gonna call him the new customer robber. He was charged with bank robbery. Now, he walked into the bank robes, He goes up to the teller, doesn't hand the teller a note, instead ask for an application to open a new account.

00:17:37
Speaker 2: Maybe he panicked.

00:17:39
Speaker 1: What was the pan Oh you're saying he went in to rob the bank and then freaked out.

00:17:43
Speaker 2: Yes, ah, and he was like needed more time because he got nervous about what he was gonna say. And though he didn't do his planning ahead of time, he didn't carefully decide what he was gonna say or what he was gonna do when he got in there, and all of a sudden, my guess would be that he gets in there and he freezes because this was his plan. Then his I need to see his IQ score.

00:18:04
Speaker 1: See, I'm not sure what you know what? There were drugs involved in this one. Okay they think he might have been high.

00:18:08
Speaker 2: Okay, Okay, that makes so much more sense.

00:18:11
Speaker 1: Sorry, Sorr, Yeah, I forgot about that. But he goes in, he asks one application, starts filling it out. The interaction is going on. He hands the teller two valid forms of ID.

00:18:23
Speaker 2: Well, yes, when you have to actually apply. You have to put your name, your address, your phone number, your social security number.

00:18:30
Speaker 1: He's filling all this out robes and then says, you know what, I'm actually here to rob the bank. Robs the bank gives them cash. Yes, he was caught very soon.

00:18:40
Speaker 2: Police knew where he lived, what his name was, what a social security number. One.

00:18:44
Speaker 1: I'm curious to your Maybe this was just a high interact. We're trying to make sense of it, and it was just a high interaction.

00:18:48
Speaker 2: Maybe he was just so high he didn't know how dumb he was.

00:18:52
Speaker 1: But the numbers we were sharing here with folks, there are remarkable two hundred and sixty three bank robberies in twenty twenty three. That's the latest number that you have has on statistics but robes. That represents an eighty three percent decline over the past two decades.

00:19:05
Speaker 2: Do you think people or criminals are just realizing, as dumb as they may be, that they cannot outwit police or banks that how many people get away with it? I mean imagine that it can't be that high.

00:19:16
Speaker 1: I saw a number, but it's just too high risk, low reward. You're not getting a lot of money, You're probably gonna get caught. A lot of people are doing online banking as well, not a lot of people going in, and it's just a different mindset. And people are trying to steal your money electronically then physically going in.

00:19:30
Speaker 2: It easier to do it electronically than it is to physically get someone to hand you cash or to somehow break into a bank vault. Haven't heard about that other than what we see in the movies. That's a much more difficult endeavor versus Yes, just scam people online.

00:19:45
Speaker 1: It seems that way. The other thing Robes, this is a difficult one to get away with because robbing a bank is a that dull role crime. It's not a local crime. It's going to get caught up in a busy police department. Federal resources go behind these, they're coming after you. Oh yeah, because this is federal money. That is ensure that you're going So it is a federal crime. So they say that helps or adds to it as well, or the decline. I guess this makes sense. Illinois threw me off, ros but those are the top Yeah, Illinois was the number two state that threw me off. But then I looked up why in Chicago banking institutions. Oh, it's full.

00:20:24
Speaker 2: Of banks, and I see. I would think New York would be the number one, and it isn't. So Number one is California with one hundred and ninety two, Illinois one hundred and sixteen, Colorado one hundred and four. That's number three on the list.

00:20:37
Speaker 1: I think the highest per capita number of feet.

00:20:40
Speaker 2: Went wow, that see why Colorado that's it? Maybe they think it's the wild wild West. I don't know. North Carolina comes in at number four with sixty six, Florida has sixty three, and New York sixty one. I mean, I really am surprised New York is not higher, And it's not like we want to be higher, but it's just shocking. Maybe just the amount of police presence in our city is so high that could be a deterrent.

00:21:01
Speaker 1: How are you going to escape in traffic on the subway?

00:21:05
Speaker 2: Sir?

00:21:06
Speaker 1: You cannot get away in New York where that's.

00:21:07
Speaker 2: True, there's no way you can get a high speed chase going down Broadway with all those buses and taxis and ubers.

00:21:15
Speaker 1: You're probably gonna have bicycles there.

00:21:17
Speaker 2: It is pedestrians.

00:21:18
Speaker 1: Would that be your best way to get away is on a city bike.

00:21:20
Speaker 2: Absolutely.

00:21:22
Speaker 1: Any New Yorker knows if you want to get from downtown to uptown, the fastest way if you can't get the subway, it's a sy bike.

00:21:28
Speaker 2: Absolutely. But there are cameras everywhere. I mean, there's just I understand the deterrent. Now in Colorado we all know, just from visiting analyst, you can go eighty five miles an hour, jump on a freeway and you're out of there. Very different setup in New York City.

00:21:44
Speaker 1: And I do want to note ropes with all of these the number of injuries in that year twenty twenty three, we quote it. It's so rare that a firearm is used. There are no weapons. They always slide a note, and so there were only I think five injuries. Even in all the bank robbers twelve hundred and there were only a handful of injuries. That's a good thing. But they're not using weapons. They're sliding notes. That's the way to go about it. Or you can slide them a.

00:22:08
Speaker 2: Kitten, I was gonna say, or a kitten, eh, but.

00:22:11
Speaker 1: Look, yes, the kitten is adorable. Lemmy hop let me look up this place and you're gonna call. I'm gonna call about the cat all right.

00:22:20
Speaker 2: Right after we finished recording this, DJ's getting on the phone. We'll have to actually have an update for you about what we find out, and we'll do so, so stay tuned for that. But in the meantime, we always hope you enjoy listening to us. We always appreciate it. I'm Amy Robach alongside TJ. Holmes. We'll talk SI