Feb. 9, 2026
LOVE STORIES: The Golden Bachelorette’s Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple
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RSS Feed Love Stories continues with The Golden Bachelorette’s Joan Vassos and Chock Chapple, who sit down with Amy & T.J. to talk long-distance love, deep friendship, and why this chapter of their lives feels especially meaningful. The couple open up about navigating a relationship rooted in communication and perspective, why they don’t believe fighting defines a healthy partnership, and how they laugh off breakup rumors instead of letting outside noise create pressure. From learning when to simply listen versus offer advice to embracing love later in life with patience and respect, Joan and Chock share why this season feels calmer, more intentional, and exactly right.
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00:00:00
Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. This is another one of our special episodes in our Love Stories series where we count you down to Valentine's Day and ask our couples who come from all different walks of life, who are in lots of different types of relationships, what the key is to their relationships success.
00:00:20
Speaker 2: And we ask our couples all the same questions.
00:00:24
Speaker 1: This time we are talking to Joan Vasso's you know her from the Golden Bachelorette and the man she met on the show Chalk Chappelle. They got engaged in July of twenty twenty four, and we check in with the couple to see where they are now.
00:00:38
Speaker 2: Here is Joan and Chuck's love story.
00:00:45
Speaker 3: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: And we have Joan and Chalk with us right now.
00:00:59
Speaker 4: We have person.
00:01:01
Speaker 1: We have Chalk long distance, which kind of is appropriate given the status of.
00:01:07
Speaker 2: Your relationship right now. How we do it?
00:01:10
Speaker 1: How? How what is that like to always be in a different state from one another?
00:01:14
Speaker 4: I know, well, we're not always in a different state. We actually merge a pretty pretty often. In fact, we spent the whole month of December and early January together, we got a place in New York and we actually lived together, which is the first thing, the first time we've done that for more than like a few days at a time or a week at a time.
00:01:32
Speaker 2: So that was great.
00:01:33
Speaker 4: We had a wonderful time. It's always been like both of his and my dream to live in New York. So we got a little taste of it, and I think we'll do it again and maybe do it more for a longer time, you know, longer period of time next time. But we merged a lot. We know, we go on vacations together. We have opportunities like this, We come to La to do iHeart stuff and other things. So we end up being together like at least once every three weeks.
00:01:56
Speaker 3: We'll chuck. You all are our first law long distance couple that we have interviewed as a part of our Love Story series. So we've asked everybody the same questions. We'll start with you, and I will tell you all first. The first question seems to be the one that trips everybody up the most chocked, So I'm gonna.
00:02:13
Speaker 5: Start all right.
00:02:14
Speaker 3: Question number one, just in five words or less, describe your relationship today. How would you characterize it in five words or less.
00:02:26
Speaker 5: Very deep, very loving and enjoyable.
00:02:30
Speaker 4: Nice jump, amazing, second chance at love?
00:02:37
Speaker 3: Wow?
00:02:37
Speaker 4: Love that all right?
00:02:39
Speaker 2: Who said I love you first?
00:02:42
Speaker 5: Oh?
00:02:42
Speaker 3: I did?
00:02:42
Speaker 5: It was on TV.
00:02:45
Speaker 1: Can't deny that, And you couldn't say I love you back?
00:02:49
Speaker 2: Correct?
00:02:50
Speaker 4: You can, you can. But if you look at like previous batchlor seasons, like the people that do that end up getting a lot of crap at the end because they end up have maybe said it to two or three people. I mean, Gary did it, when Becher did it, said it to three people, and that comes back to haunt you because the final person was like, well you you know you love two other people. So I was really careful not to ever say.
00:03:15
Speaker 3: Did you feel it? Though? I just you wouldn't allow yourself to go there though.
00:03:18
Speaker 4: Not really I wouldn't let myself go there. Plus, you know, when you invest.
00:03:21
Speaker 5: I disagree that eighteen year old girl deal with me going I really really really like you.
00:03:32
Speaker 4: Yeah that was right.
00:03:37
Speaker 5: Some people take a little bit longer than others.
00:03:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a slow burn. When did you tell him you loved him? The day that we got engaged? I saved it and back you know, at that point I wanted it to be a special day, and even though I knew I felt it, I didn't want to say it like prematurely, like the day before or two days before that. I thought it was special to do it like when he got down on Wendy. Oh wow.
00:03:57
Speaker 1: Okay, So normally we would ask how long you dated before you got engaged, But this is a little bit awkward because it all happened on TV on TV and you were dating other men at the same time.
00:04:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was that what has your.
00:04:11
Speaker 2: Engagement period been like?
00:04:13
Speaker 1: And we usually then ask how long were you engaged before you got married? So do you have a timeline for the wedding and what's the engagement period been like?
00:04:22
Speaker 4: So the engagement period has been like so fun, Like we're just living in this school world and we don't have any obligation to get married because we're not like trying to have babies. You know, we're a different stage of our lives. So probably different than most people that you've interviewed that are thinking wedding and thinking about creating a life together. We both kind of already have really rich lives and I'm like, you guys, and if.
00:04:44
Speaker 5: I can interject, if I can interject real quick. I think there might be somebody on this podcast it's been engaged for three years.
00:04:52
Speaker 3: Three years? Not quite just I know, I know you got that right, felt like that, Jocko.
00:05:02
Speaker 5: Well's I read that because I wented to did a little bit of research. Engaged for three years, so you know, the internet might not always be faction.
00:05:09
Speaker 3: But I think the last time where we engaged, the last time we saw I don't know if we saw I.
00:05:14
Speaker 4: Don't think so a jingle ball with you guys, and you were engaged, but I think the year before you were not.
00:05:18
Speaker 1: No, Yes, we got engaged in September last.
00:05:22
Speaker 3: Year, so talk we got some celebrating to do with you when you see.
00:05:24
Speaker 4: When we saw that, that's right, Champagne.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So how I know you're not living in the same house and maybe you don't have some of the same frustrations or the daily arguments that a lot of couples have. But how often do you fight and what do you fight about? Huh?
00:05:40
Speaker 4: I don't think we've ever fought.
00:05:42
Speaker 5: Really, We've had We've had things as any adult couple has, where you have different thoughts, different beliefs, and when you get older, some of it's a little important, but you work on going. It's really not that important. Communications. So we've not not had a drag down, you know, knockdown, drag out fight. We've had a couple of things going. You know, I'd like for you not to say that, or you know, let's not do that, those type of things.
00:06:11
Speaker 3: It sounds like time, experience, maturity keeps you from having the fights you know better, is what it sounds like. Is that right, Jack?
00:06:18
Speaker 5: Absolutely, because I'm going to lose it doesn't make a difference.
00:06:24
Speaker 4: But he is very easy going, so you know, if something bothers him, if he mentions it, I know it's important, So I you know, I take that into account.
00:06:33
Speaker 2: That's very good.
00:06:34
Speaker 1: And we we have asked all of our couples this, but I think we already know the answer. Have you ever come close to calling it quitz, to saying this is too hard? Maybe given the distance, maybe given the public pressure. I know you all deal with a lot of rumors about whether or not you're still together. Does any of that actually put pressure on your relationship?
00:06:53
Speaker 5: If I can't, I'd say absolutely not. From the fact is we just laugh about him and we'll call each other and go, you heard the lame atest one.
00:07:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. Really, it's just it's it's just.
00:07:03
Speaker 5: It's social media, it's the internet, it's the news. It is so inaccurate. And there's been a couple of times where like we really didn't like that, Like there was a story that came out that Jone had passed. Yeah, and that's pretty personal.
00:07:13
Speaker 4: Tragic car accident as in dyed Yeah yeah, yes, tragic car accident while I was on vacation.
00:07:19
Speaker 3: Wow.
00:07:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, weird.
00:07:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:07:21
Speaker 5: And then so you you know, you go, oh, it's just, you know, it's it's it's the news, it's whatever. But then when you have friend calling you and texting you, you go, I wish that wouldn't happen.
00:07:30
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you got to skin and there's pictures of an ore that' said rip with a like a like a Jesus Day I died, And it was Yeah, it kind of hits you a little bit.
00:07:39
Speaker 3: Did you know it wasn't true?
00:07:40
Speaker 4: Obviously?
00:07:41
Speaker 3: Did you all address that one? I mean talk you're kind of talking to Stuff's out there is just silly. Does every does anything ever rise to a level where you will feel like you do need to respond, Like something like she's dead. Did you do anything just let it all go?
00:07:54
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:07:54
Speaker 4: I think I made a point of like putting something on Instagram of me talking or I don't remember it was, but I didn't say like I didn't die.
00:08:00
Speaker 3: Proof of life.
00:08:01
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:08:01
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:08:02
Speaker 5: We're really good at bouncing things off each other because one of us might be elevated a little bit, and it's usually me that's going to be a little bit more elevated and Jones going just let it go, it's just what it is. And the next day you just laugh and go And that's where Jon's really good.
00:08:15
Speaker 4: The less air you get, most things they'll go away. I do feel like we every once in a while need to address the rumors like that we've broken up, because I think that people like really invest in like you falling in love, and they watch the show and they put time into it, and they're excited for you, and they want to make sure that it's still going on. And it seems fairly often if I don't or if we don't have a picture of us someplace together, or you know, have an interaction with the two of us, we they say that we've broken up. So I think we need to do a better job, and it's kind of on my plate because I'm more of the social media person than he is to like say, hey, come sit next to me. We've got to talk on like film and put a video, right, so people don't say that we've broken up.
00:08:54
Speaker 5: So j and Amy, excuse me. We did have an issue over one thing. You don't called me because she was in Austin with some of the ladies from her show and there was some information out that I bought a ten point seven million dollar home in Austin, so excited and she's like, I didn't have anything to do with this and I haven't even seen it yet. Give me the address.
00:09:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like awesome.
00:09:21
Speaker 1: Fake news I've heard all day. Would you all say that you're still in your honeymoon period?
00:09:26
Speaker 4: Hmmm, I don't think honeymoon period. I don't think we really had a serious honeymoon period, to be honest. I think we kind of slid into this and became like super comfortable really quickly. And although we have some really fun interactions. So when when you get engaged on TV and you have like those three months where you can't see each other like in public, you do these happy couple of visits, which are in LA and they get you an airbnb and you go hiding out and it's actually really it's romantic. You can't see anybody, no one's allowed over. You're you know, you have handlers that bring you food or whatever you need, Like you could call and say, like I need a puppy dog today and they bring you on like they take great care of you. So you just get to hang out and like learn about each other. So it's really kind of like I mean, you come up the show and you take a real kind of a leap of faith. So I felt like I did talk to too that we got engaged. It was we were in love, but we didn't really know each other outside of like bachelor. So that's a really like controlled environment. So you get all of a sudden, these wonderful days together where you have nothing else to do but talk to each other. You can't leave the house, you can do nothing else, and that you know usually has a pool and they're bringing you food and it's just a really really great time to get to know each other. So I would call that kind of the honeymoon period. But after that we just started like kind of living like normal, like old people that have been around with each other forever.
00:10:49
Speaker 5: You agree with that, I will say too ahead, but I will say too I'm sorry to keep jumping in. Is Joana and I and a lot of people have been through things in their lives. But we've been through some tragedy and you look at big things is happening, and so much life is just little things. And you know, we'll talk about it, we'll go you know, it's it's just life. It's going to go on. So I think we we just look at the little things. Don't let them slow you down.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: I love that there's so much perspective having a relationship later after you've already been there, done that, you just get it in a different way.
00:11:21
Speaker 3: Now.
00:11:21
Speaker 1: I know again you guys don't live together, but you had a month together. But in terms of do you know when you do end up? And first of all, is the idea to live in one house together? Yes' as okay, yeah, okay, do.
00:11:35
Speaker 4: You do you dale?
00:11:36
Speaker 1: Have you thought about, like you say, the little things? But this can get under people's skins. Who does the cooking, who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How have you all discussed any of that?
00:11:46
Speaker 4: Not really because well, he everyone in all gives me heck because I do a lot of cooking videos and so they're like all of his friends say like, does she cook for you? And he's like, she's never made me a meal, so.
00:11:57
Speaker 3: But we haven't.
00:11:59
Speaker 4: It's so true. I think, I think, I mean that did happen. But we like, we're super social, so when we are together, we like going out with friends and doing stuff like out in like out in the wild, because you know, we were pulled off in the bachelor mansion and then like in the happy couple homes for so long that we kind of got a lot. So we haven't figured out that part of it. But I think he should do all the cooking and all the cleaning and the laundry and all.
00:12:25
Speaker 5: I don't know, Amy, I would tell you the house. Let's say it's just five thousand square feet, it needs to be about thirty five hundred square feet for closet space.
00:12:38
Speaker 4: You should see the amount of clothes he has.
00:12:41
Speaker 5: That is the pot college just having fun.
00:12:46
Speaker 4: That's so true. I know you don't.
00:12:57
Speaker 1: You said you've never fought a lot of our questions are about how people and how couples handle conflict.
00:13:02
Speaker 4: Do you. So, do you have conflict?
00:13:03
Speaker 1: Okay, do you have any rules like never going to bed angry, never cursing, never threatening to leave the relationship?
00:13:10
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
00:13:11
Speaker 4: We don't have any like drawl like a line in the sand things. But I feel like we are pretty good about communicating. I think we only had one like silent treatment kind of a couple of days where there was a conflict and I guess we weren't ready to talk. Who was the silent one?
00:13:31
Speaker 5: He was.
00:13:33
Speaker 2: Right, just like now.
00:13:38
Speaker 5: And sometimes you're just better off just think things through.
00:13:44
Speaker 4: It drove me crazy. I was like, let's talk, like, yes, what are you mad about?
00:13:48
Speaker 1: So?
00:13:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, we got.
00:13:49
Speaker 4: There, but it took a little time.
00:13:52
Speaker 1: Were you what where do you put the importance of friendship in your relationship? I know people are all into the romance and that's great and that's awesome, but do you consider each other best friends or friendly? How do you deal with that in your relationship?
00:14:10
Speaker 4: Yeah? Do you want to take that one?
00:14:12
Speaker 5: If I met Yeah, when we were in New York, the best times I had with Joan were usually in the morning where we're having coffee and just talking as friends. And we have she's got four kids, I've got too, she's got grandkids. We've got a lot of things going on, so we bounce things off each other, and that friendship has really blossomed over this fourteen fifteen months where you know, there it's kind of like, they're my kids. I've got to deal with them. But what would you do? And joan one time with my I should say one of my kids, not going to mention the gender. She goes, they just mature a little bit later and her sons are a little bit older than mine. And that's you know, friendship of going, hey, I need some help or let me you know the old I use it saying too do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Or do you want me to do something? Or just listen? And we're very good at that.
00:14:58
Speaker 4: Yeah you said that really early on in our relationship. He's so I was telling him something like something that happened that day. He goes, do you want me to give advice or do you want me to just listen? I'm like, huh, I think I want just listen this time. Or I'll say, oh, I think advice this time. So he's really good about not interjecting but listening and then ask me what I need from it.
00:15:17
Speaker 3: That is a great practical, little piece of advice. That's a nugget that can help everybody's relationship. That's good stuff.
00:15:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was good stuff. That's amazing. Actually, I think we could both use that. Like that is such a perfect because sometimes you actually don't know what the right thing is to do, and asking that's really cool.
00:15:36
Speaker 4: Or sometimes just venting helps you get to the place you need to figure out the answer. But you have to vent to somebody who's going to be like, I don't feel like he judges me. Like I can tell him the worst part of me and he doesn't judge, and so like I can get to maybe where I need to be by just talking. Or sometimes I need like tell me what you would do.
00:15:54
Speaker 1: That's very very cool, do you all And not that you're speaking of judgment sitting here on your pedestal judging other couples, but obviously you've lived enough life and you've seen and you've had your own other relationships. Do you see something that other couples do that you can now look and say, ooh, that's a mistake, Like.
00:16:13
Speaker 2: Please don't do this.
00:16:14
Speaker 1: I know so many people who listen to this podcast and these episodes, these love story episodes, are looking for advice, are looking for answers to solutions, and maybe you're having difficulty in their own relationships. What is there something you see other couples do and you say, please do not do X that I certainly do.
00:16:34
Speaker 4: How about your talk?
00:16:35
Speaker 5: I think a lot of it, especially with some of the people that I work with, is you've got to put your family first. When you're young, you're trying to make money to buy the house, to put the kids in school, to put clothes on them, right, You've got to put your family first. And I changed my working hours. I'm involved with two businesses where we close at four thirty and that way people can get home, they can beat traffic, they can go to the grocery store, and that type of thing that that's important to me. In my thirties and forties, I work sixty to seventy hours a week. That's just how it was made. That's what we did. And you look now and it's it's tough because a lot of times you have dual income families. They're working, they're helping grandkids, they're doing that type of stuff. So just being considerate and really understanding what the other person's going through.
00:17:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, mine is probably more simple. I feel like, like I get that sometimes you need to take a breath before you say something because you don't want to say it wrong. You don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. But I hate the silent, Like I don't think like you should go a day, like you shouldn't go to bed without having talked to Something is bothering you, and it's bothering you enough like to have that kind of effect that you just want to shut down. And that's especially a time when you need to do so. I think, you know, being silent about stuff and holding a grudge and not talking it through, is it just smolders and it.
00:17:54
Speaker 2: Never leads to resentment. Yeah, all of that stuff.
00:17:58
Speaker 1: Do you all have to make an effort to keep the spark alive, especially knowing that you don't live together, Do you have to think about it and make that effort.
00:18:10
Speaker 4: I think just doing long distance you have to make an effort. So I think it's as simple as making sure we are together. Once we're together, the spark's fine. It's just the logistics of living, you know, half a country apart. Is a little harder, and he you know, he's running a business. He's busy, so like I need to go to him maybe more than he comes to me. Or it's just a little harder, Like his is not a business where you can really work remotely, so he needs to be in Kansas, and when he's not there, he's worried about what's going on back at work.
00:18:40
Speaker 5: Abe. I will tell you it's an old cliche, but love languages I think are very important, especially as people mature and they go through life and they find out what's important. And Joan and I we've worked on this because I like touch. I do just for putting your hand on my leg or my back or holding my hand makes me feel so much better about the really relationship. So those are things that we work on and Jones really made an effort on that.
00:19:04
Speaker 4: It doesn't come naturally to me. I'm not like a touchy feely person. And so I remember we were just engaged. We were finally out in public and we were walking down the streets in New York and he held my hand. I was like, what are you doing? Like I don't hold hands. It's just weird and foreign to me. And I remember he was at my house and he said to my daughter, what do you do? He said, you know, what do you do when Noah like reaches out and hold your hands? She's like, I'd hit him.
00:19:30
Speaker 3: So have you adjusted to that now? And you have more comfortable holding hands?
00:19:37
Speaker 4: And I am definitely more comfort yeah, yeh, yeah, yeah, but I do have to think about it sometimes, like, wow, you know, I know that it makes him feel good, So I do it. And it's becoming more and more natural to me by forcing myself to do it. And it's completely on me. It's my weird thing. So I get it all right.
00:19:53
Speaker 3: Last couple of things here and Chuck, this was one from earlier that we kind of skipped over. We know you all are long distance, but give us an idea. What is the longest amount of time that you all have had to spend a part in your relationship?
00:20:07
Speaker 5: Three weeks? Three weeks and then like we were in New York the next weekend, I came to see some friends in Maryland and went to see Joan on the second half of the weekend. We're going We've had a couple of times that have been three weeks, and this is one. But we're going to be all together all next week. So we don't live together, but we are extremely busy people, and Jon's got some bachelorettes, some baby showers and things like that that are coming up, and so we probably won't see each other for a couple of weeks there, but we've had it's just been incredible the amount of time we've been able to spend together, and we've got to do some really fun stuff. And that's you know, is it a relationship? You know from the fact is if you're always vacation and doing stuff, it is because we're adults. We like talking to each other and we have to interact a little business in that too, and that sure makes you figure out the relationship.
00:21:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's true. I mean we most of our interactions when we're together, we're doing something really fun. Like we've been with you guys before, Like last year we were at jingle Ball and like it's we're usually doing like something really really fun. It's a great way to live. And I got to say, like as when I was married to my late husband, like you planned for this point in your life. You know, you work really hard, you raise your kids, you you know, stow away some income so you can live comfortably and then you get to be this like golden part of your life and you need a partner and I lost mine, he lost his, and we found each other. So it's just like it's what you planned for and just kind of worked out in a weird way for us, but we found each other and we get to live like this cool thing.
00:21:42
Speaker 1: Now.
00:21:42
Speaker 2: That is so beautiful.
00:21:45
Speaker 1: People look at you, especially when you get later in life and you're looking for that second chance, right sometimes maybe a third chance, and they want to have what you all have found. What would you say is the key to your relationship success between the two of you?
00:22:01
Speaker 5: I think respecting the other person.
00:22:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, so true. I was thinking, like wanting similar things out of this part of your life. Travel, if you know, whatever you want. We are very similar. You know, we want to go out and have fun, but we also get that we have responsibilities and we respect each other, like I know he has to work, he knows I have to be you know with my family here. So we're very respectful of each other. But we're still like really interested in like living this second part or life.
00:22:29
Speaker 3: And the second part of life. I guess you will always get asked but when is the next big thing for you guys? I know you talked about moving in together at some point, you talk, we got all kinds of stuff. What are the next headlines we're going to see from about you too? And the next step you take in your relationship? Go ahead?
00:22:48
Speaker 4: Do you answer it?
00:22:49
Speaker 5: He always Joe has a son getting married. That's there and Amy, that's one of the things that we that we've had to deal with. But Joanes had a son that got married last year and has another one getting married this year, and it's we're adults and we don't want to compete with that. And Joan is just so involved with her family, with the grandkids and all that she wants to make that the biggest time for them.
00:23:16
Speaker 2: It's very sweet.
00:23:17
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to take any focus off of them. I mean this, the light has been on us a long time. I don't we don't need to be in the limelight at all. And I want like their special time to be their special time. So I'm not talking wedding. So maybe twenty twenty seven, who knows, but certainly not twenty twenty six.
00:23:33
Speaker 3: We respect that and we get that it's fun being engaged.
00:23:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, right right, last, just even the word fiance. It's fun to say, that's so much better, doesn't it? Right?
00:23:41
Speaker 4: Like I would always we talked about this.
00:23:42
Speaker 1: We would struggle when we were dating, you know, like people you would have to reference, like, well, my my boyfriend.
00:23:48
Speaker 2: In my fifties, I have a boyfriend friends.
00:23:51
Speaker 4: So it's so fun to say I'm steady.
00:23:55
Speaker 2: My fiance's fun.
00:23:57
Speaker 4: I'm very elegant.
00:23:58
Speaker 3: We go together. We look forward to seeing you in the flesh man, not on the screen the next time. But it's seeing you man real quick.
00:24:08
Speaker 5: Amy, Can I tell you a quick story?
00:24:09
Speaker 1: Yes?
00:24:10
Speaker 5: So was it, honey? When it was? It was the jingle Ball that we were at correct.
00:24:15
Speaker 4: Out in La Yeah, like a like a year ago.
00:24:19
Speaker 5: And I watched very little TV, very very little, I mean hardly any at all. And I remember the bar and hotel and I see this guy and I like to look at guys that are in shape, and I see this guy that said shape and I see this good looking guy and he standing there and I go, I know you from somewhere, and that was your fiance, And I was like, he is much better.
00:24:48
Speaker 3: We had a good time that lotty my daughter was with me at the time. Yes, correct, So this is special to us. We've been through our hell, you all go through your hell. But to get to know you all and to have stories and memories and actually stories to tell like you just just did, Chalk is not lost on us. Joan Chalk seriously that it's special to us to be able to have these conversations and to get to know you all and to have you all in our lives, given this is not where we thought our lives would be, but we love exactly where we are and you all are a part of that and it's not lost on us. So thank you both.
00:25:19
Speaker 4: We feel the same way. Thank you for having us
Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. This is another one of our special episodes in our Love Stories series where we count you down to Valentine's Day and ask our couples who come from all different walks of life, who are in lots of different types of relationships, what the key is to their relationships success.
00:00:20
Speaker 2: And we ask our couples all the same questions.
00:00:24
Speaker 1: This time we are talking to Joan Vasso's you know her from the Golden Bachelorette and the man she met on the show Chalk Chappelle. They got engaged in July of twenty twenty four, and we check in with the couple to see where they are now.
00:00:38
Speaker 2: Here is Joan and Chuck's love story.
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Speaker 3: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: And we have Joan and Chalk with us right now.
00:00:59
Speaker 4: We have person.
00:01:01
Speaker 1: We have Chalk long distance, which kind of is appropriate given the status of.
00:01:07
Speaker 2: Your relationship right now. How we do it?
00:01:10
Speaker 1: How? How what is that like to always be in a different state from one another?
00:01:14
Speaker 4: I know, well, we're not always in a different state. We actually merge a pretty pretty often. In fact, we spent the whole month of December and early January together, we got a place in New York and we actually lived together, which is the first thing, the first time we've done that for more than like a few days at a time or a week at a time.
00:01:32
Speaker 2: So that was great.
00:01:33
Speaker 4: We had a wonderful time. It's always been like both of his and my dream to live in New York. So we got a little taste of it, and I think we'll do it again and maybe do it more for a longer time, you know, longer period of time next time. But we merged a lot. We know, we go on vacations together. We have opportunities like this, We come to La to do iHeart stuff and other things. So we end up being together like at least once every three weeks.
00:01:56
Speaker 3: We'll chuck. You all are our first law long distance couple that we have interviewed as a part of our Love Story series. So we've asked everybody the same questions. We'll start with you, and I will tell you all first. The first question seems to be the one that trips everybody up the most chocked, So I'm gonna.
00:02:13
Speaker 5: Start all right.
00:02:14
Speaker 3: Question number one, just in five words or less, describe your relationship today. How would you characterize it in five words or less.
00:02:26
Speaker 5: Very deep, very loving and enjoyable.
00:02:30
Speaker 4: Nice jump, amazing, second chance at love?
00:02:37
Speaker 3: Wow?
00:02:37
Speaker 4: Love that all right?
00:02:39
Speaker 2: Who said I love you first?
00:02:42
Speaker 5: Oh?
00:02:42
Speaker 3: I did?
00:02:42
Speaker 5: It was on TV.
00:02:45
Speaker 1: Can't deny that, And you couldn't say I love you back?
00:02:49
Speaker 2: Correct?
00:02:50
Speaker 4: You can, you can. But if you look at like previous batchlor seasons, like the people that do that end up getting a lot of crap at the end because they end up have maybe said it to two or three people. I mean, Gary did it, when Becher did it, said it to three people, and that comes back to haunt you because the final person was like, well you you know you love two other people. So I was really careful not to ever say.
00:03:15
Speaker 3: Did you feel it? Though? I just you wouldn't allow yourself to go there though.
00:03:18
Speaker 4: Not really I wouldn't let myself go there. Plus, you know, when you invest.
00:03:21
Speaker 5: I disagree that eighteen year old girl deal with me going I really really really like you.
00:03:32
Speaker 4: Yeah that was right.
00:03:37
Speaker 5: Some people take a little bit longer than others.
00:03:39
Speaker 4: Yeah, I'm a slow burn. When did you tell him you loved him? The day that we got engaged? I saved it and back you know, at that point I wanted it to be a special day, and even though I knew I felt it, I didn't want to say it like prematurely, like the day before or two days before that. I thought it was special to do it like when he got down on Wendy. Oh wow.
00:03:57
Speaker 1: Okay, So normally we would ask how long you dated before you got engaged, But this is a little bit awkward because it all happened on TV on TV and you were dating other men at the same time.
00:04:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, there was that what has your.
00:04:11
Speaker 2: Engagement period been like?
00:04:13
Speaker 1: And we usually then ask how long were you engaged before you got married? So do you have a timeline for the wedding and what's the engagement period been like?
00:04:22
Speaker 4: So the engagement period has been like so fun, Like we're just living in this school world and we don't have any obligation to get married because we're not like trying to have babies. You know, we're a different stage of our lives. So probably different than most people that you've interviewed that are thinking wedding and thinking about creating a life together. We both kind of already have really rich lives and I'm like, you guys, and if.
00:04:44
Speaker 5: I can interject, if I can interject real quick. I think there might be somebody on this podcast it's been engaged for three years.
00:04:52
Speaker 3: Three years? Not quite just I know, I know you got that right, felt like that, Jocko.
00:05:02
Speaker 5: Well's I read that because I wented to did a little bit of research. Engaged for three years, so you know, the internet might not always be faction.
00:05:09
Speaker 3: But I think the last time where we engaged, the last time we saw I don't know if we saw I.
00:05:14
Speaker 4: Don't think so a jingle ball with you guys, and you were engaged, but I think the year before you were not.
00:05:18
Speaker 1: No, Yes, we got engaged in September last.
00:05:22
Speaker 3: Year, so talk we got some celebrating to do with you when you see.
00:05:24
Speaker 4: When we saw that, that's right, Champagne.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, all right, So how I know you're not living in the same house and maybe you don't have some of the same frustrations or the daily arguments that a lot of couples have. But how often do you fight and what do you fight about? Huh?
00:05:40
Speaker 4: I don't think we've ever fought.
00:05:42
Speaker 5: Really, We've had We've had things as any adult couple has, where you have different thoughts, different beliefs, and when you get older, some of it's a little important, but you work on going. It's really not that important. Communications. So we've not not had a drag down, you know, knockdown, drag out fight. We've had a couple of things going. You know, I'd like for you not to say that, or you know, let's not do that, those type of things.
00:06:11
Speaker 3: It sounds like time, experience, maturity keeps you from having the fights you know better, is what it sounds like. Is that right, Jack?
00:06:18
Speaker 5: Absolutely, because I'm going to lose it doesn't make a difference.
00:06:24
Speaker 4: But he is very easy going, so you know, if something bothers him, if he mentions it, I know it's important, So I you know, I take that into account.
00:06:33
Speaker 2: That's very good.
00:06:34
Speaker 1: And we we have asked all of our couples this, but I think we already know the answer. Have you ever come close to calling it quitz, to saying this is too hard? Maybe given the distance, maybe given the public pressure. I know you all deal with a lot of rumors about whether or not you're still together. Does any of that actually put pressure on your relationship?
00:06:53
Speaker 5: If I can't, I'd say absolutely not. From the fact is we just laugh about him and we'll call each other and go, you heard the lame atest one.
00:07:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. Really, it's just it's it's just.
00:07:03
Speaker 5: It's social media, it's the internet, it's the news. It is so inaccurate. And there's been a couple of times where like we really didn't like that, Like there was a story that came out that Jone had passed. Yeah, and that's pretty personal.
00:07:13
Speaker 4: Tragic car accident as in dyed Yeah yeah, yes, tragic car accident while I was on vacation.
00:07:19
Speaker 3: Wow.
00:07:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, weird.
00:07:21
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:07:21
Speaker 5: And then so you you know, you go, oh, it's just, you know, it's it's it's the news, it's whatever. But then when you have friend calling you and texting you, you go, I wish that wouldn't happen.
00:07:30
Speaker 4: Yeah, and you got to skin and there's pictures of an ore that' said rip with a like a like a Jesus Day I died, And it was Yeah, it kind of hits you a little bit.
00:07:39
Speaker 3: Did you know it wasn't true?
00:07:40
Speaker 4: Obviously?
00:07:41
Speaker 3: Did you all address that one? I mean talk you're kind of talking to Stuff's out there is just silly. Does every does anything ever rise to a level where you will feel like you do need to respond, Like something like she's dead. Did you do anything just let it all go?
00:07:54
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:07:54
Speaker 4: I think I made a point of like putting something on Instagram of me talking or I don't remember it was, but I didn't say like I didn't die.
00:08:00
Speaker 3: Proof of life.
00:08:01
Speaker 5: Yeah.
00:08:01
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:08:02
Speaker 5: We're really good at bouncing things off each other because one of us might be elevated a little bit, and it's usually me that's going to be a little bit more elevated and Jones going just let it go, it's just what it is. And the next day you just laugh and go And that's where Jon's really good.
00:08:15
Speaker 4: The less air you get, most things they'll go away. I do feel like we every once in a while need to address the rumors like that we've broken up, because I think that people like really invest in like you falling in love, and they watch the show and they put time into it, and they're excited for you, and they want to make sure that it's still going on. And it seems fairly often if I don't or if we don't have a picture of us someplace together, or you know, have an interaction with the two of us, we they say that we've broken up. So I think we need to do a better job, and it's kind of on my plate because I'm more of the social media person than he is to like say, hey, come sit next to me. We've got to talk on like film and put a video, right, so people don't say that we've broken up.
00:08:54
Speaker 5: So j and Amy, excuse me. We did have an issue over one thing. You don't called me because she was in Austin with some of the ladies from her show and there was some information out that I bought a ten point seven million dollar home in Austin, so excited and she's like, I didn't have anything to do with this and I haven't even seen it yet. Give me the address.
00:09:15
Speaker 4: Yeah, it was like awesome.
00:09:21
Speaker 1: Fake news I've heard all day. Would you all say that you're still in your honeymoon period?
00:09:26
Speaker 4: Hmmm, I don't think honeymoon period. I don't think we really had a serious honeymoon period, to be honest. I think we kind of slid into this and became like super comfortable really quickly. And although we have some really fun interactions. So when when you get engaged on TV and you have like those three months where you can't see each other like in public, you do these happy couple of visits, which are in LA and they get you an airbnb and you go hiding out and it's actually really it's romantic. You can't see anybody, no one's allowed over. You're you know, you have handlers that bring you food or whatever you need, Like you could call and say, like I need a puppy dog today and they bring you on like they take great care of you. So you just get to hang out and like learn about each other. So it's really kind of like I mean, you come up the show and you take a real kind of a leap of faith. So I felt like I did talk to too that we got engaged. It was we were in love, but we didn't really know each other outside of like bachelor. So that's a really like controlled environment. So you get all of a sudden, these wonderful days together where you have nothing else to do but talk to each other. You can't leave the house, you can do nothing else, and that you know usually has a pool and they're bringing you food and it's just a really really great time to get to know each other. So I would call that kind of the honeymoon period. But after that we just started like kind of living like normal, like old people that have been around with each other forever.
00:10:49
Speaker 5: You agree with that, I will say too ahead, but I will say too I'm sorry to keep jumping in. Is Joana and I and a lot of people have been through things in their lives. But we've been through some tragedy and you look at big things is happening, and so much life is just little things. And you know, we'll talk about it, we'll go you know, it's it's just life. It's going to go on. So I think we we just look at the little things. Don't let them slow you down.
00:11:12
Speaker 1: I love that there's so much perspective having a relationship later after you've already been there, done that, you just get it in a different way.
00:11:21
Speaker 3: Now.
00:11:21
Speaker 1: I know again you guys don't live together, but you had a month together. But in terms of do you know when you do end up? And first of all, is the idea to live in one house together? Yes' as okay, yeah, okay, do.
00:11:35
Speaker 4: You do you dale?
00:11:36
Speaker 1: Have you thought about, like you say, the little things? But this can get under people's skins. Who does the cooking, who does the cleaning, who does the laundry? How have you all discussed any of that?
00:11:46
Speaker 4: Not really because well, he everyone in all gives me heck because I do a lot of cooking videos and so they're like all of his friends say like, does she cook for you? And he's like, she's never made me a meal, so.
00:11:57
Speaker 3: But we haven't.
00:11:59
Speaker 4: It's so true. I think, I think, I mean that did happen. But we like, we're super social, so when we are together, we like going out with friends and doing stuff like out in like out in the wild, because you know, we were pulled off in the bachelor mansion and then like in the happy couple homes for so long that we kind of got a lot. So we haven't figured out that part of it. But I think he should do all the cooking and all the cleaning and the laundry and all.
00:12:25
Speaker 5: I don't know, Amy, I would tell you the house. Let's say it's just five thousand square feet, it needs to be about thirty five hundred square feet for closet space.
00:12:38
Speaker 4: You should see the amount of clothes he has.
00:12:41
Speaker 5: That is the pot college just having fun.
00:12:46
Speaker 4: That's so true. I know you don't.
00:12:57
Speaker 1: You said you've never fought a lot of our questions are about how people and how couples handle conflict.
00:13:02
Speaker 4: Do you. So, do you have conflict?
00:13:03
Speaker 1: Okay, do you have any rules like never going to bed angry, never cursing, never threatening to leave the relationship?
00:13:10
Speaker 3: Mm hmmm.
00:13:11
Speaker 4: We don't have any like drawl like a line in the sand things. But I feel like we are pretty good about communicating. I think we only had one like silent treatment kind of a couple of days where there was a conflict and I guess we weren't ready to talk. Who was the silent one?
00:13:31
Speaker 5: He was.
00:13:33
Speaker 2: Right, just like now.
00:13:38
Speaker 5: And sometimes you're just better off just think things through.
00:13:44
Speaker 4: It drove me crazy. I was like, let's talk, like, yes, what are you mad about?
00:13:48
Speaker 1: So?
00:13:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, we got.
00:13:49
Speaker 4: There, but it took a little time.
00:13:52
Speaker 1: Were you what where do you put the importance of friendship in your relationship? I know people are all into the romance and that's great and that's awesome, but do you consider each other best friends or friendly? How do you deal with that in your relationship?
00:14:10
Speaker 4: Yeah? Do you want to take that one?
00:14:12
Speaker 5: If I met Yeah, when we were in New York, the best times I had with Joan were usually in the morning where we're having coffee and just talking as friends. And we have she's got four kids, I've got too, she's got grandkids. We've got a lot of things going on, so we bounce things off each other, and that friendship has really blossomed over this fourteen fifteen months where you know, there it's kind of like, they're my kids. I've got to deal with them. But what would you do? And joan one time with my I should say one of my kids, not going to mention the gender. She goes, they just mature a little bit later and her sons are a little bit older than mine. And that's you know, friendship of going, hey, I need some help or let me you know the old I use it saying too do you want to be right or do you want to be happy? Or do you want me to do something? Or just listen? And we're very good at that.
00:14:58
Speaker 4: Yeah you said that really early on in our relationship. He's so I was telling him something like something that happened that day. He goes, do you want me to give advice or do you want me to just listen? I'm like, huh, I think I want just listen this time. Or I'll say, oh, I think advice this time. So he's really good about not interjecting but listening and then ask me what I need from it.
00:15:17
Speaker 3: That is a great practical, little piece of advice. That's a nugget that can help everybody's relationship. That's good stuff.
00:15:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was good stuff. That's amazing. Actually, I think we could both use that. Like that is such a perfect because sometimes you actually don't know what the right thing is to do, and asking that's really cool.
00:15:36
Speaker 4: Or sometimes just venting helps you get to the place you need to figure out the answer. But you have to vent to somebody who's going to be like, I don't feel like he judges me. Like I can tell him the worst part of me and he doesn't judge, and so like I can get to maybe where I need to be by just talking. Or sometimes I need like tell me what you would do.
00:15:54
Speaker 1: That's very very cool, do you all And not that you're speaking of judgment sitting here on your pedestal judging other couples, but obviously you've lived enough life and you've seen and you've had your own other relationships. Do you see something that other couples do that you can now look and say, ooh, that's a mistake, Like.
00:16:13
Speaker 2: Please don't do this.
00:16:14
Speaker 1: I know so many people who listen to this podcast and these episodes, these love story episodes, are looking for advice, are looking for answers to solutions, and maybe you're having difficulty in their own relationships. What is there something you see other couples do and you say, please do not do X that I certainly do.
00:16:34
Speaker 4: How about your talk?
00:16:35
Speaker 5: I think a lot of it, especially with some of the people that I work with, is you've got to put your family first. When you're young, you're trying to make money to buy the house, to put the kids in school, to put clothes on them, right, You've got to put your family first. And I changed my working hours. I'm involved with two businesses where we close at four thirty and that way people can get home, they can beat traffic, they can go to the grocery store, and that type of thing that that's important to me. In my thirties and forties, I work sixty to seventy hours a week. That's just how it was made. That's what we did. And you look now and it's it's tough because a lot of times you have dual income families. They're working, they're helping grandkids, they're doing that type of stuff. So just being considerate and really understanding what the other person's going through.
00:17:19
Speaker 4: Yeah, mine is probably more simple. I feel like, like I get that sometimes you need to take a breath before you say something because you don't want to say it wrong. You don't want to hurt somebody's feelings. But I hate the silent, Like I don't think like you should go a day, like you shouldn't go to bed without having talked to Something is bothering you, and it's bothering you enough like to have that kind of effect that you just want to shut down. And that's especially a time when you need to do so. I think, you know, being silent about stuff and holding a grudge and not talking it through, is it just smolders and it.
00:17:54
Speaker 2: Never leads to resentment. Yeah, all of that stuff.
00:17:58
Speaker 1: Do you all have to make an effort to keep the spark alive, especially knowing that you don't live together, Do you have to think about it and make that effort.
00:18:10
Speaker 4: I think just doing long distance you have to make an effort. So I think it's as simple as making sure we are together. Once we're together, the spark's fine. It's just the logistics of living, you know, half a country apart. Is a little harder, and he you know, he's running a business. He's busy, so like I need to go to him maybe more than he comes to me. Or it's just a little harder, Like his is not a business where you can really work remotely, so he needs to be in Kansas, and when he's not there, he's worried about what's going on back at work.
00:18:40
Speaker 5: Abe. I will tell you it's an old cliche, but love languages I think are very important, especially as people mature and they go through life and they find out what's important. And Joan and I we've worked on this because I like touch. I do just for putting your hand on my leg or my back or holding my hand makes me feel so much better about the really relationship. So those are things that we work on and Jones really made an effort on that.
00:19:04
Speaker 4: It doesn't come naturally to me. I'm not like a touchy feely person. And so I remember we were just engaged. We were finally out in public and we were walking down the streets in New York and he held my hand. I was like, what are you doing? Like I don't hold hands. It's just weird and foreign to me. And I remember he was at my house and he said to my daughter, what do you do? He said, you know, what do you do when Noah like reaches out and hold your hands? She's like, I'd hit him.
00:19:30
Speaker 3: So have you adjusted to that now? And you have more comfortable holding hands?
00:19:37
Speaker 4: And I am definitely more comfort yeah, yeh, yeah, yeah, but I do have to think about it sometimes, like, wow, you know, I know that it makes him feel good, So I do it. And it's becoming more and more natural to me by forcing myself to do it. And it's completely on me. It's my weird thing. So I get it all right.
00:19:53
Speaker 3: Last couple of things here and Chuck, this was one from earlier that we kind of skipped over. We know you all are long distance, but give us an idea. What is the longest amount of time that you all have had to spend a part in your relationship?
00:20:07
Speaker 5: Three weeks? Three weeks and then like we were in New York the next weekend, I came to see some friends in Maryland and went to see Joan on the second half of the weekend. We're going We've had a couple of times that have been three weeks, and this is one. But we're going to be all together all next week. So we don't live together, but we are extremely busy people, and Jon's got some bachelorettes, some baby showers and things like that that are coming up, and so we probably won't see each other for a couple of weeks there, but we've had it's just been incredible the amount of time we've been able to spend together, and we've got to do some really fun stuff. And that's you know, is it a relationship? You know from the fact is if you're always vacation and doing stuff, it is because we're adults. We like talking to each other and we have to interact a little business in that too, and that sure makes you figure out the relationship.
00:21:01
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's true. I mean we most of our interactions when we're together, we're doing something really fun. Like we've been with you guys before, Like last year we were at jingle Ball and like it's we're usually doing like something really really fun. It's a great way to live. And I got to say, like as when I was married to my late husband, like you planned for this point in your life. You know, you work really hard, you raise your kids, you you know, stow away some income so you can live comfortably and then you get to be this like golden part of your life and you need a partner and I lost mine, he lost his, and we found each other. So it's just like it's what you planned for and just kind of worked out in a weird way for us, but we found each other and we get to live like this cool thing.
00:21:42
Speaker 1: Now.
00:21:42
Speaker 2: That is so beautiful.
00:21:45
Speaker 1: People look at you, especially when you get later in life and you're looking for that second chance, right sometimes maybe a third chance, and they want to have what you all have found. What would you say is the key to your relationship success between the two of you?
00:22:01
Speaker 5: I think respecting the other person.
00:22:04
Speaker 4: Yeah, so true. I was thinking, like wanting similar things out of this part of your life. Travel, if you know, whatever you want. We are very similar. You know, we want to go out and have fun, but we also get that we have responsibilities and we respect each other, like I know he has to work, he knows I have to be you know with my family here. So we're very respectful of each other. But we're still like really interested in like living this second part or life.
00:22:29
Speaker 3: And the second part of life. I guess you will always get asked but when is the next big thing for you guys? I know you talked about moving in together at some point, you talk, we got all kinds of stuff. What are the next headlines we're going to see from about you too? And the next step you take in your relationship? Go ahead?
00:22:48
Speaker 4: Do you answer it?
00:22:49
Speaker 5: He always Joe has a son getting married. That's there and Amy, that's one of the things that we that we've had to deal with. But Joanes had a son that got married last year and has another one getting married this year, and it's we're adults and we don't want to compete with that. And Joan is just so involved with her family, with the grandkids and all that she wants to make that the biggest time for them.
00:23:16
Speaker 2: It's very sweet.
00:23:17
Speaker 4: Yeah, I don't want to take any focus off of them. I mean this, the light has been on us a long time. I don't we don't need to be in the limelight at all. And I want like their special time to be their special time. So I'm not talking wedding. So maybe twenty twenty seven, who knows, but certainly not twenty twenty six.
00:23:33
Speaker 3: We respect that and we get that it's fun being engaged.
00:23:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, there's nothing wrong with that, right right, last, just even the word fiance. It's fun to say, that's so much better, doesn't it? Right?
00:23:41
Speaker 4: Like I would always we talked about this.
00:23:42
Speaker 1: We would struggle when we were dating, you know, like people you would have to reference, like, well, my my boyfriend.
00:23:48
Speaker 2: In my fifties, I have a boyfriend friends.
00:23:51
Speaker 4: So it's so fun to say I'm steady.
00:23:55
Speaker 2: My fiance's fun.
00:23:57
Speaker 4: I'm very elegant.
00:23:58
Speaker 3: We go together. We look forward to seeing you in the flesh man, not on the screen the next time. But it's seeing you man real quick.
00:24:08
Speaker 5: Amy, Can I tell you a quick story?
00:24:09
Speaker 1: Yes?
00:24:10
Speaker 5: So was it, honey? When it was? It was the jingle Ball that we were at correct.
00:24:15
Speaker 4: Out in La Yeah, like a like a year ago.
00:24:19
Speaker 5: And I watched very little TV, very very little, I mean hardly any at all. And I remember the bar and hotel and I see this guy and I like to look at guys that are in shape, and I see this guy that said shape and I see this good looking guy and he standing there and I go, I know you from somewhere, and that was your fiance, And I was like, he is much better.
00:24:48
Speaker 3: We had a good time that lotty my daughter was with me at the time. Yes, correct, So this is special to us. We've been through our hell, you all go through your hell. But to get to know you all and to have stories and memories and actually stories to tell like you just just did, Chalk is not lost on us. Joan Chalk seriously that it's special to us to be able to have these conversations and to get to know you all and to have you all in our lives, given this is not where we thought our lives would be, but we love exactly where we are and you all are a part of that and it's not lost on us. So thank you both.
00:25:19
Speaker 4: We feel the same way. Thank you for having us