Feb. 3, 2026
LOVE STORIES: Olympic Gold Medalist Sanya Richards-Ross and Super Bowl Champ Aaron Ross
Apple Podcasts 
Spotify 
Castro 
RSS Feed Love is in the air! Amy & T.J. continue their Valentine’s Day series, “Love Stories” asking couples the same series of questions about what makes their relationship work. She’s a four time Olympic gold medalist and he is a 2 time Super Bowl Champion, so today’s couple knows how to work hard for greatness, but even they admit, when it comes to relationships they struggle just like the rest of us. The Ross’s met as college freshman at the University of Texas and have been married for nearly 16 years, and they get candid about a two year stretch where they thought they may not make it. Hear from this power couple how they came out on the other side even more connected and better than ever.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:04
Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories and Sonya, Richard Ross and Aaron Ross joining us. Now, before we get going, let's just get this out of the way. University of Texas and the two of US, University of Georgia, University of Arkansas. Let's just try to get this. Let's just get through this over everybody.
00:00:30
Speaker 2: Okay, it's all good here. It's just friendly competition.
00:00:35
Speaker 1: So God, it's good to see you. And let's start. Yes, right off the top. And I guess this is kind of a This is the one that tripped a lot of folks up, so we change it a little bit this year. So put it this way in five words or less, and I'll start with you, Sonya, describe your relationship.
00:00:53
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a really good one.
00:00:57
Speaker 4: I'm happy that we didn't watch other ones so this would be so authentsake, you know, you're not like prepared. But in five words unless which is very hard for me teaching because I like to do, but I would say our relationship is the most loving, like joyous place of growth.
00:01:24
Speaker 5: That's mine life.
00:01:27
Speaker 4: For me, you know, like for us. I don't know if that's five words, but that's what comes to mind.
00:01:31
Speaker 1: Loving, joyous, place of growth.
00:01:33
Speaker 2: That was five nailed it not shocking all right? Eron how about you?
00:01:44
Speaker 5: I would she stole my growth?
00:01:45
Speaker 6: So now I got back, I would say our relationship is exciting.
00:01:55
Speaker 5: Damn. I want to use growth. Growth is is.
00:01:57
Speaker 6: I think growth is the main thing, especially with us together for so long. So exciting growth and a roller coaster, Guys, roller coasters are exciting.
00:02:11
Speaker 5: They are.
00:02:13
Speaker 7: They can be scary too, though, both and you hope it doesn't go off the tracks.
00:02:19
Speaker 1: Now, that's a lot of stuff we could do with roller coasters here.
00:02:22
Speaker 8: But that's honest. I appreciate that. No, but that is true.
00:02:25
Speaker 2: And I think when people hear that, all jokes aside, it makes the rest of us mortals feel like, Okay, we're not alone. Roller Coaster rides are a part of most relationships, even solid ones, even time tested ones.
00:02:39
Speaker 8: I'm curious who said I love you first?
00:02:43
Speaker 5: Oh?
00:02:43
Speaker 3: Definitely mean and early too.
00:02:47
Speaker 2: So.
00:02:47
Speaker 4: My husband and I met at utube and in college freshman year of college two thousand and three, and we were both were both on athletic scholarships. We both hadn't we didn't know each other before. So I'm with my sister and he walks into the CAFs and I'm like, ooh, he is point.
00:03:04
Speaker 3: Who is that?
00:03:06
Speaker 4: You know? So I call him over and he introduced himself, and you know, we kind of go on our first DAIDA a week or so later, and I want to say, probably in the first month or so.
00:03:15
Speaker 3: We're on a call and I'm like, I love you.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: Oh wow Bold, yeah, oh yeah, I listen.
00:03:23
Speaker 3: I know what I want.
00:03:24
Speaker 4: Amy. I don't really play around. It's like, look, I saw him. I was like, that's my husband, He's the one.
00:03:29
Speaker 3: Let's do this.
00:03:30
Speaker 1: Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then how long? Okay, go ahead, Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then how long before you said I love you?
00:03:40
Speaker 5: I'll come back to my reaction. Okay, all right.
00:03:43
Speaker 6: So to give you some context, so I saw her like a year previous to when the time that she's she just actually met yeah, sorry to track meet. And of course I didn't want to approach. I wanted wanted her to focus on what she was doing. So that following year, I get back to campus, I'm asking my teammates, Hey, do you.
00:04:03
Speaker 5: Know this this girl.
00:04:05
Speaker 6: I'm trying to figure out where she's at, who she is, and then they actually told me that she had a boyfriend.
00:04:10
Speaker 5: So I was like, ah, so I kind of fell back.
00:04:14
Speaker 6: But then this actual time right here that she's talking about, when she saw me coming to the cafeteria, I'm an athlete, so coaches always told me to make sure.
00:04:27
Speaker 5: You put yourself in position and make places. She got me. I put myself in position.
00:04:34
Speaker 3: But to get to exactly, you haven't flotten.
00:04:39
Speaker 5: Whole year, she didn't even know. So she went for the baby.
00:04:45
Speaker 6: But to answer your question, when she said it, it definitely caught me off of surprise. And I have a sweet mate, a roommate, sweet mate, and I said I love you too, hung up, ran to it, ran to his room like, oh man, I just told him, girl, I love broth.
00:05:07
Speaker 8: So you regretted it for that because it was so soon.
00:05:11
Speaker 5: So I was like, am I supposed to say this this early? But of course I always head over heels for but that love you were and it was it's serious. We've been together ever since.
00:05:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all said I love you very quickly and maybe shockingly so for Aaron, how long were you engaged before you decided to get married? Maybe I should ask how long until you got engaged and then how long until you got married?
00:05:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were together for seven.
00:05:41
Speaker 6: Years ten, two thousand and three and two thousand and eight.
00:05:45
Speaker 4: We got married in twenty ten, but you're proposed in eight So we're together for five years and then engaged for two years. So we got married seven years after meeting. So five years into our relationship he proposed, and then two years that.
00:06:00
Speaker 3: We got married.
00:06:01
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've been married. Now how many years.
00:06:05
Speaker 5: Married? Since? Ten?
00:06:07
Speaker 3: Sixteen years?
00:06:08
Speaker 2: This year?
00:06:08
Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me this What was the best year? Aaron? I'll start with you, what was the best year of your marriage so far? Or if you can't give me a specific year, tell me what was the best stretch of your marriage so far? Those early years, some middle years or lately where we are.
00:06:26
Speaker 6: Now, it's two during our career, so of course twenty ten through two thousand and sixteen, it felt.
00:06:36
Speaker 5: Like a fairy tale when kids yet nothing, nothing that happened.
00:06:42
Speaker 3: We ain't had no kid yet.
00:06:45
Speaker 5: Part part that middle part we had our son in seventeen through twenty two after roller.
00:06:55
Speaker 6: Coaster Wow, and then probably I will say now I would say our best year has been these last two because of the brot.
00:07:04
Speaker 8: Yeah, and it sounds like you agree with that.
00:07:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say like in the beginning, even before we got married, it felt like we were like on this honeymoon for years, like people. It was like seven eight years of just you know, relationship and marital bliss. And I think a large part of that too, was because we were also living in our dreams. Like Ross was in the NFL living out his dream I was competing in the Olympics. I think that we had enough space in our relationshiphere we you know, we were traveling, so when we saw each other was always like we just wanted to be loving, you know.
00:07:32
Speaker 5: It wasn't like we were each other.
00:07:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, we went like fighting because we weren't in the same house all the time. I think we really appreciate our times together. So, yeah, we had a really nice stretch of a like literally like honeymoon bliss. And like Ross said, we had that tough period when we had our first son and then other things to a lot of changes, you know what I mean, like not no longer competing in our sport, like the loss of that, which feels like a death of something, you know, because we have been doing it since I was I saw when I was seven, and so you know, that period for both of us of transitioning from sports into real life and being parents and all that stuff was really tough on us. And then I think now we're kind of on the other side of that. So I would say those first ten years.
00:08:12
Speaker 3: And now these last like two.
00:08:14
Speaker 2: That is so interesting because one of the questions is did you have a honeymoon period and if so, how long did it last?
00:08:21
Speaker 8: Would you say, and I would you attribute.
00:08:24
Speaker 2: Part of the fact that your honeymoon period lasted for so long and sounds like it was near down perfect. How much time were you actually spending together. Do you think having the time apart and having that time to be together to support each other, but to also have your individual needs being met outside of the partner had a huge part of that honeymoon period.
00:08:48
Speaker 4: I think that I think the space is one thing that people in relationships don't give enough kind of respect to how important that is. I think that people get married and they just everything's just all on top of each other all at once, and that's hard. It's hard when you transit from single life or whatever your life was pre to like now, every moment you're with the person and you're their source of happiness, it's really hard. And so I think for us, yes, there was this awesomeness about our relationship in the beginning, part because we were both so happy on our personal journeys as well that I think played into it. And then you know, we were young, we were just it was just a lot of really amazing factors. I think that made it really special at that time. And yeah, it was definitely an extended, extended period.
00:09:33
Speaker 1: Okay, so the key to being happy is being a part as much as you can early on. Got it.
00:09:39
Speaker 5: It's just actually it was the gift and the curse.
00:09:44
Speaker 6: That was the gift in the beginning, but then the curse came came when we had to stay and figure each other out being together after retirement.
00:09:53
Speaker 5: We had we were just in the house of twenty four to seven with each other.
00:09:58
Speaker 6: So it was just it was like the of most people's relationship to where you're trying to I don't like taking the trash out early in the morning, but she wanted me to take the trash out early in the morning.
00:10:10
Speaker 3: So it was just so many things that we had like refigure out.
00:10:14
Speaker 6: Yeah, refigure out that we used to let each other slide on because we were just so happy to see each other, you.
00:10:19
Speaker 1: Know, Aaron. That takes us to another question we do have, But tell us what is the longest stretch or period of time that you all have been apart from each other or actually living apart even from each other. What was the longest stretches you all had to deal with in your relationship.
00:10:35
Speaker 6: I would say it's not so much living apart because football season and track season it kind of its opposite. So and my off season is her season, so I would go where she's at, So it wasn't an extended amount of time, but she would be gone maybe a week.
00:10:55
Speaker 3: Two weeks, sometimes Olympics three weeks.
00:10:57
Speaker 4: Yes, we say the longest TJ was probably a month, like from like where I would be for the Olympics, we would go to training camp and then I'd be gone, or like Ross will be a training camp.
00:11:07
Speaker 3: I would say the longest was a month, but.
00:11:09
Speaker 5: That happened quite off yeah, throughout the year.
00:11:12
Speaker 6: Yeah, so it would be two to four weeks where we'll have off and then we'll be together for like maybe three months, and then we'll have another week or Yeah, there was a lot of breaks.
00:11:23
Speaker 5: In between that one year.
00:11:24
Speaker 3: All right.
00:11:25
Speaker 2: So once you all ended up living with one another day in and day out, there weren't exciting trips necessarily that you were off to go accomplish your dreams.
00:11:34
Speaker 8: Now you're stuck with one another. What were the problems?
00:11:40
Speaker 2: I mean, I know you joked about the trash, but what were some of the daily problems that started to chip away potentially at your romantic, honeymoon esque clove.
00:11:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:11:52
Speaker 4: I would say the biggest one started with our with their with the birth of our son. So I think for us ultimately, and I think a lot of times in relationships, you set out thinking, you guys have you know, exactly similar goals, like everything is going to be aligned on how you're going to do things, and then when things don't pan out that way, it can cause like a riff. And so I think I have like fifteen god children, like I'm Godmother of the year, I'm Auntie of the Year, and I thought I was gonna raise our kids a certain way, which was completely in alignment with how Ross was like more strict, like very you know, structured kind of the way we grew up. And then and then the babies came and I was like wrapped around my little finger. I mean, he's softy, you know, And so just even those types of things like understanding like what parenting was going to look like for me versus for him, like what my expectations were of him as a father and a husband, like you know, to support me. So I feel like the baby was the biggest, like first like kind of tornado that hit our marriage because we weren't communicating as clearly.
00:12:51
Speaker 3: As we had in the past.
00:12:53
Speaker 4: And I think also too, what was difficult for us was that whenever I would try to express myself, it felt like I was saying he wasn't being a good father and vice versa.
00:13:02
Speaker 3: So it was really hard for us to receive.
00:13:03
Speaker 4: That because we felt like we both were in our own right and so I think that was the biggest challenge for us, was how do you communicate how you're feeling about something in a way that still feels like positive and uplifting, but you know, still get your point across. And I think that was that was when we started to have the challenges in our marriage.
00:13:21
Speaker 6: Aaron, you agree with that, I agree one hundred percent. Yeah, she hit it on the head. I can't even add to it. Yeah, it's perfect.
00:13:29
Speaker 8: How did you get sorry? How did you get through that?
00:13:31
Speaker 2: Then?
00:13:31
Speaker 8: I mean, how did you get help outside help? Or did you just figure it out?
00:13:36
Speaker 5: I think we started to and it took a while, but.
00:13:43
Speaker 6: We tried to communicate as best as possible and kept coming Okay, this was the major change, and you kind of touched on it. What it was is we started to attack the problem instead of each other. So we started to attack the issue. And I think that's that was the like big life for life for us. And that's when things you started to see things change.
00:14:09
Speaker 5: Things that she was saying to me.
00:14:12
Speaker 6: I started to receive better, and I was like, I'd never heard that, and she's been saying it for the longest, but I wasn't receiving it that way, and vice versa. So when we started to put the problem on the table and said let's fix this us, let's attack this problem, that's when we started to see major change.
00:14:32
Speaker 1: And this is a couple we've are a question We've asked every couple as well. Did you get help in working through that? Did you we all go to a counselor or therapy of any kind of did you handle it on your own?
00:14:43
Speaker 3: We handled it on our own, Yeah, we we.
00:14:46
Speaker 4: And the thing is we've like I had a sports psychologist through the end of my track career, so I'm very open to talking to people.
00:14:53
Speaker 3: That's something that you know, Rossnein both would do.
00:14:56
Speaker 4: And I would use my sports psychologist sometimes to help me with issues in my marriage. But Ross I never went together or felt the needs to go together, and so no, we didn't have to get like a psychologist to help us or go outside of our marriage. But what I did want to add to that too was just I'm just always I know that there are people listening who maybe going through some similar things.
00:15:17
Speaker 3: So just some of the lessons too that we learned from that.
00:15:20
Speaker 4: Because on top of that too, right, we kind of mentioned it too, like we also were going through a lot of life changes, and so I feel like Ross went through a stage of depression first, I think, I think when looking back and now I feel like I did too.
00:15:31
Speaker 3: There was a point of why, you know, but there.
00:15:34
Speaker 4: He was also just kind of not himself, right because football was over this kind of identity crisis of like what are we going to do next?
00:15:41
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like really challenging to.
00:15:43
Speaker 5: Figure out what's next. Who am I outside of football?
00:15:47
Speaker 4: And I think what a lot of people do in relationships is that like when you sign on to be with somebody for life, you got to understand you're going to love this person at their highs and at their lows. And I think people want to give up on that person when they felt, oh they changed or they're not happy whatever. But I feel like if you can love on that person and show up for them and kind of be a reflection of them being their best self, then there comes a time when they're able to do that for you. And so I think that that also was was big for us at that time too. And I think about you know, that phase of our relationship, it was just really really tough. It wasn't just deuce our son. It was also just a lot of life changes, you know, like we were moving from allstin. It was just so many things, And it would have been easy at that time about this is too much like we used to being bullissed.
00:16:30
Speaker 3: Why are we at a two? Like why did they go from a ten too?
00:16:32
Speaker 5: Too? Start new businesses? Yeah, Yeah, it was just a lot, But.
00:16:36
Speaker 4: I think I think that that's when that's when true love is really tested, and that's when you're able to like. And that's why we talk about growth so much, because we went through it like we had to like learn to love each other again and be there in the hard times and love each other unconditionally.
00:16:51
Speaker 1: Yeah y'all laughing now exactly, But it was always funny.
00:16:58
Speaker 3: It wasn't always funny, you know.
00:17:00
Speaker 1: So you know, to the points you all are right now making leads us to a question we have here, What is the closest you all got in your relationship do you think to it ending for good? Not just a bump in the road, but did you have a moment where you actually thought, damn, this might be it?
00:17:18
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, And I think so I think that for that part, this was kind of more on me where Okay, so thet really talking about this is the public yet. But so you know, as an athlete, right, like I think for me in particular, I know R also agree with it to some level, Like you're always chasing these goals, right, so like it was like next year I break the American record, break the War record, all of these things, right, and so I think that when I retired, it took me a lot longer to let go of that like what's the next thing I'm gonna win at?
00:17:51
Speaker 2: You know.
00:17:51
Speaker 3: So it's like I had the baby, Okay, check out my mom, but like what next? What next? What next?
00:17:56
Speaker 4: And so like even like doing the Housewives, all the ortunities that were coming my way, it was like me just saying yes because I wanted to keep winning, like I wanted to keep achieving. And so I hadn't really settled into like that next phase of our life of like what it really looked like to be a mom and to be a wife and not be this athlete or this you know person that's always pursuing pursuing. And my husband I think, hey, this is this is their work and the girls and so you know, my husband kept trying to explain, like she tell me, like you got to slow down, like this is like now we need to be focused on family, like this is the thing, and I'm like family, family, We got that, like what else are we doing?
00:18:34
Speaker 3: Like you know, what else are we doing? And so I think that in that.
00:18:38
Speaker 4: Phase, we were both really unhappy because Ross wanted one thing and I wanted something else.
00:18:44
Speaker 3: And we're kind of like going in, you know, like this for a little bit.
00:18:48
Speaker 4: And my husband just had so much patience, you know with me in allowing me to kind of like trip up a little bit.
00:18:56
Speaker 3: And then kind of come.
00:18:57
Speaker 4: Back around to like, you know what, you're right, like, this is the phase of our life now where it is really family first, not just me saying oh, I'm doing all for my family, but like literally being family first and you know, and making that shift in my mind that I wasn't just this like individual athlete chasing success, but I'm now this family person who.
00:19:16
Speaker 3: It's all about our family success.
00:19:17
Speaker 4: So yeah, we went through that was our I think that was even worse than with Deuce, like that like not being on the same page and like that concept like no, and I'm also like no, we're not doing that.
00:19:26
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, like that tugging of like what do we do next? That was that was the hardest time for us.
00:19:31
Speaker 5: For sure.
00:19:33
Speaker 2: I so appreciate Sonya that vulnerability and that honesty because I think, yes, you all had an extreme case because you are.
00:19:41
Speaker 8: Who you are and you've accomplished what you've accomplished.
00:19:43
Speaker 2: But I think so many people resonate with that, where do my dreams begin and end? And how does that fit in with a relationship and with a family. And when you have gotten your value and your worth out of performance, out of RecA ignition of that performance, it is really hard when it goes away. I know that.
00:20:04
Speaker 8: I think TJ and I can both speak to that specifically.
00:20:07
Speaker 2: Maybe not on the same level, but certainly that makes so much sense and being vulnerable and saying, hey, that tested me.
00:20:15
Speaker 8: I'm curious when you were in that period. And first of all, I'm just curious how long it lasted.
00:20:20
Speaker 2: And and b did you ever while you were having a disagreement or a fight, threatened that it was over, threatened that it was going to leave, say I'm done, did those words ever come out?
00:20:33
Speaker 3: I would say it lasted about two years, Is that right?
00:20:37
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah?
00:20:40
Speaker 4: And I like so Rossni made a pact like when we first meant that we would never use the D word, Like we were always like really strict about that, like we're never going to use the D word in our marriage.
00:20:50
Speaker 3: Like no matter what.
00:20:52
Speaker 4: And I'm trying to think that I don't I don't even think at that time we actually said it.
00:20:55
Speaker 5: I think she never told me. She might have told a friend or something.
00:21:00
Speaker 2: Him.
00:21:01
Speaker 8: That's fair, that's fair question.
00:21:06
Speaker 2: To me.
00:21:08
Speaker 4: I think we kept that promise to each other, even at our lowest and never say but we felt it, definitely, we felt it. We can feel like this really might not make it another year, but we never said it.
00:21:28
Speaker 1: How often big or small do you fight?
00:21:34
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, we've been with those. The time here that we were talking about it was a lot. But currently currently we've been in that honeymoon phase again. Now it's more it's more of a discussion and a debate rather than an argument.
00:21:52
Speaker 1: That's good to hear. And that's what you're talking about, right, Aaron, that's growth. All right, Let's stick to the house for a second. Let's go with a few chores around the house, some of the basic things, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Let's just start with who does most of the cooking in the house. I do, all right, I don't think. Yeah, Aaron's not not even nodding the head on that one. That's uh, that's probably the case. Is anyone to sign a lot too?
00:22:14
Speaker 3: So my husband will order my husband. She's not a Jesus a lot. But whenever we cook, which is not that much. I don't want I come getting too much credit.
00:22:24
Speaker 7: Okay, now we want to qualify it because I asked her and you just said me. And when someone does cook, it's right. That's an honest about who cleans?
00:22:39
Speaker 4: We both, yeah, but my husband's more of the clean freak, so he's the one. Like when he cleans, I got to move everything out of the way because he might throw me away.
00:22:45
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, that.
00:22:48
Speaker 8: And what about laundry.
00:22:51
Speaker 6: She won't let me do the laundry. She would do the laundry, and I'm a better folder. She she does the laundry well, and I fold fold.
00:22:59
Speaker 3: You'll put the colors with the whites.
00:23:01
Speaker 1: I'm like, look this everything, I got it, you know, on behalf of all guys everywhere. Does it really matter?
00:23:07
Speaker 8: Yes, it absolutely does. The white turned gray or pink?
00:23:11
Speaker 3: It does it?
00:23:12
Speaker 1: Though they do?
00:23:15
Speaker 8: Yes, it matters, it mattered.
00:23:17
Speaker 1: Okay, thanks, okay, fun, Actually we just played dumb, so y'all keep doing it.
00:23:23
Speaker 2: You're such because you know I'm a better folder than he is of the clothes, so therefore I actually like folding clothes, though I fully honest, I get a sense of accomplishment sadly from that.
00:23:32
Speaker 1: And you know what, and Sonya too, since Sonya you were being honest, we will be honest. We do wash and fold here in New York, like we have we we send it out anyway, nobody does. Somebody else does our launder.
00:23:44
Speaker 8: That's a new thing though. It's because we don't have a washer and dryer in this apartment. Otherwise we would absolutely do it.
00:23:53
Speaker 1: It's a long store. We'll get back to you. Let's stick with this in the house for a second. We're talking about fighting. You all don't. Don't do the fighting as much now, But what do you think about the idea? Did you all ever go to bed angry? Some couple say you absolutely should, shouldn't. Some therapists say, hell, yeah, it's okay. To where do you all fall in now?
00:24:12
Speaker 6: We definitely did. I think it's good now, but we definitely I would. I would go to my little boom boom room and get away. Yeah, and I'll sleep down there. Some nights when it felt like we weren't just couldn't agree, or even it wasn't even about agreeing. It was more about us leaving a conversation feeling like.
00:24:40
Speaker 5: We weren't heard. Yeah, both both ways. So I think that's what it was. Frustrated both of us, like you're not hearing what I'm saying.
00:24:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's I think it's unrealistic to say never go to bed angry, Like that's just it's I think it's impossible. If you've been with somebody for twenty plus years, there's just no way you're going to be like every night, if there's something happened, we're gonna make up tonight and go to bed happy. It's just it's a nice goal to set. It's a nice you know, it's a nice thing to try to achieve. But I think it's unrealistic to say that every night you're gonna go to bed happy. I think that, and I think sometimes you need that time, Like sometimes the day runs out and you need I just need a moment.
00:25:18
Speaker 3: Maybe tomorrow we can address the issue.
00:25:20
Speaker 6: So yeah, And it's not to cut you off with it, but it's been a few times where I went down to the boom boom room and had a chance to kind of decompress, and I might have came back up and were like, oh damn, I was tripping baby, my bad.
00:25:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's so good to hear. I know, I don't want to harp on the two years that were tough.
00:25:39
Speaker 1: And I'm curious.
00:25:40
Speaker 2: I'm curious how you got out of it. How did you get out of it? How did you stop that cycle?
00:25:46
Speaker 3: Oh man, good, good question. I think you know, first of all, we are praying couple, so we will pray.
00:25:53
Speaker 4: We're actually fasting right now, so we praying fast so you know, we keep God in the center of our marriage.
00:25:59
Speaker 3: So that's number one.
00:26:00
Speaker 4: And I think that through a lot of those tough times, prayer has really helped us, you know. And we'll be mad now, grab his hand and just start praying. Now, how are you gonna imagine why she.
00:26:10
Speaker 3: Get mad at me? I'm praying for you, you know.
00:26:13
Speaker 4: So I think prayer and then once again communication like my husband and I I think that has been the beauty of our marriage. Like we say the hard things, you know, we we communicate to a fault. So I think that that is what really helped us, was like just really trying to communicate and get to a good place of you know, like and then and.
00:26:32
Speaker 3: Then and then change behavior.
00:26:35
Speaker 4: Let's let's give, let's give a little recognition to that as well. Like you know, if you're in a relationship and your partner is asking for something and it's something that is valid, and you want to stay in that situation, and you gotta have change behavior. So I think for me, when I talk about those two years of us not being on the same page, there was change behavior.
00:26:53
Speaker 3: Like I was like, you know what, like I do, I do.
00:26:55
Speaker 4: Respect what you're saying. I do want to honor my family in this way, and I may change. So that also helps to bring back the joy and the love to relationship is when you change, you know.
00:27:06
Speaker 1: I love that.
00:27:08
Speaker 2: I think everyone wants to know, and I'm sure everyone asks folks like you who have made it through the tough times life's roller coaster and looking back now, what relationship advice would you give other couples, So, someone who's considering marriage, someone who's considering taking that next step in their relationship.
00:27:28
Speaker 8: When you think about the mistakes couples make, the mistakes.
00:27:30
Speaker 2: Even you've made, what would be your best advice for a happy relationship.
00:27:40
Speaker 5: I go back to growth.
00:27:42
Speaker 6: Be willing to grow with your partner and understand the growth that he or she, what journey they're on. Because if you're like for us, we've been together for twenty years. And I've said this before, it's felt like I've been married to four different women. I've had to learn and relearn and relearn my wife and try to mold who I've become because I'm also growing in a way as well, so trying to just relearn and fall in love with each other again. And then I think, like I mentioned before, the most important thing for me to give advice for is basically to attack the problem sometimes. I know as athletes, you always you're almost triggered to win, and if you're not winning, you're losing. There's no great So we've we've kind of learned to let's win and attack the problem together.
00:28:38
Speaker 5: And I think that's the best advice that I.
00:28:41
Speaker 1: Can give married the four different signs, which one was your favorite? Ok So I'm kidding, Aaron, do not answer that question. Just playing, just playing here, Okay, just kidding you all. I want to ask about friendship. People say it all the time, married to my best friend, and that you hear that kind of stuff. Where does friendship play in you all's relationship? What was the friendship even before you started dating or did it not really develop until you started an actual romantic relationship.
00:29:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you gotta be friends. You have to be friends.
00:29:18
Speaker 4: You have to actually like the person that you're doing life with. So I think friendship is extremely important. I remember when we went to marriage counseling before we got married, or pastor required that we do marriage counseling, and he said one of the key things he said was that she has to be a friend because everything else eventually will fall off, right, Like, yes, you know you're gonna romance to the death of it, but eventually even that will fade, right like all those things. So friendship is really important. So for us, No, we didn't have a friendship prior to us dating. You know, we met in college and our intentions were to kind of be boyfriend girlfrienm the very beginning. But boy, did we build a beautiful friendship along the way. Like we laughed together. I could be with Ross, just me and Ross all the time. I don't have to, you know, be with anybody else because we get each other. We laugh together like we're friends. So I certainly think that that is extremely important that the person that you choose to marry should be someone that you like that you have a great friendship with and you know, because that's what's going to help you to stand the test of time. It's like, how much do you actually really like this person?
00:30:17
Speaker 5: You know, like it's rough.
00:30:23
Speaker 2: What compromises maybe even sacrifices have you each had to make to make the relationship work.
00:30:32
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I mean, that's a good question. No, no one has ever asked us that. That's a really good question. You want to go first, Bade, Yeah, No, that's that's a really good question. I think that because because the reality is like I'm not I don't like the world's words sacrifice someone I could always feel as negative. But it's like you're making this investment right, something that you may not want to do because you want to. Like in sports, I'm not sacrificing my time. I'm investing my time because I want to be great, and so I like to to keep that same lens on for a relationship. But sometimes it does feel like sacrifice because you are giving up something that's important to you to make this other person happy.
00:31:09
Speaker 3: So I think that we've sacrificed a lot, you know, like through our relationship.
00:31:13
Speaker 4: Like even I can think about for my husband, like he when he would have his off season where he should be training with the team because I was in season, he would come and be with me, And there was there was something lost there right, like he could have gotten become a better athlete himself or built more team camaraderie, but he chose to come be with me. That that was always a major sacrifice, you know, and vice versa. I would go do my off season training in New York it was freezing cold instead of being in Texas training with my teammates because I'm wanted to spend that time with him. So I think if we were to really think about our relationship throughout the years, there were tons of times we were both making sacrifices. My husband started our chauffeur company in Texas, so we talked about that time when he retired and figured out what he wants to do next, and we started a show for company and it was doing really well. And then I got an opportunity to come to Atlanta for a job, and my husband left Texas, left the business and came to Atlanta for us for me to pursue that opportunity. So I just think there's this constant sacrificing and you know, giving to your partner, whether it's for them to live their dream or for them.
00:32:16
Speaker 3: To be happy.
00:32:17
Speaker 4: That's always happening in a relationship, and I think the important thing to do is to just make sure that it feels balanced because at some point in a relationship, if it starts to feel like it's too heavy on one person, then that person is going to start to harbor resentment. And so you know, for me, I try to be really mindful like my husband, I think he's going to be. I'm saying it on national platform like the head coach of the University of Texas one day, because I think he's like an amazing coach, but because of life sacrifices, he hasn't finished, like, you know, all the things that he needs to do to be able to do that. So I'm like, okay, babe, it's your turn, Like what are we going to do for you to get starting on your coaching journey?
00:32:53
Speaker 3: And you know, do your thing.
00:32:55
Speaker 4: So I think that we're all constantly making sacrifices for relationship, but you got to check in with your partner and make sure it's not too heavy.
00:33:02
Speaker 3: On one side.
00:33:04
Speaker 1: Good and she gave you time to think of a really good answer rather than answered like ten of them. The last few things before we let you all go back to this is I forgot that we moved it too far down. Money. How do you want handle money in the house. There's always a thing with couples, joint accounts, separate accounts. How does it work with you guys?
00:33:38
Speaker 6: We have all three have my account, her account, and then we have a joint account. But I do most of them managing the money.
00:33:48
Speaker 3: I'm a yellow girl. So thank God for rosscause, oh.
00:33:51
Speaker 6: Wow, I'm.
00:33:55
Speaker 1: That's balance. That's good.
00:33:57
Speaker 2: I like that.
00:33:57
Speaker 4: I like thank God for balance because we would be all the street somewhere. It wasn't about to say, you know, we're trying to live to we're like eightie, right.
00:34:10
Speaker 1: I love that.
00:34:11
Speaker 8: Do you all find that you have to work at keeping the spark alive?
00:34:14
Speaker 2: I know that there was that instant attraction we talked about or you referenced, and we all know that, yes, that that attraction can ebb and flow based on where you are in your relationship. Do you actually make an effort to keep the spark alive?
00:34:30
Speaker 5: Yes?
00:34:31
Speaker 6: I think that's very important. This is actually happy. She doesn't even know this yet, but this has happened to me maybe the last two years. So I used to always come up with cool little ideas for a birthday or Valentine's or whatever little special occasion. And I would come up with cool little little things and it would keep the spark going. But with us being together for so I've ran out of ideas. So the last last year, I said, Mabe, what do you want? And that's the first time that's ever happened coming from me. And she didn't have an idea.
00:35:05
Speaker 5: So I just kind of didn't do much like like what she's used to and it was an issue. So and she said she didn't want none.
00:35:16
Speaker 8: T j oh, never believe a woman when she says she doesn't want anything.
00:35:21
Speaker 3: I never believe it doesn't want anything.
00:35:24
Speaker 1: You know better, you didn't fall that he did.
00:35:29
Speaker 6: Good hope after positive enough in the bank to get you off never So I was completely wrong on that one. So this year, I'm starting early and I'm asking and she gave me the same answer.
00:35:44
Speaker 5: So I went to jet chat chat GPT.
00:35:47
Speaker 2: This is.
00:35:55
Speaker 4: But I mean, my jaws are hurting, But yes, Amy, I do think you got to be strategic and even for me, like as a mom, Like you know, I make an effort to like get my nails done, get my hair done, all of those things because I don't want to just like completely fall off.
00:36:08
Speaker 3: I think that for a man, I obviously know.
00:36:11
Speaker 4: That, you know, like attraction is not just the hearts right, Yes, yes, we're like all all this stuff too, So you know, like I do try to make an effort to like keep up with all of those things.
00:36:22
Speaker 3: Like I know the things that he likes, so I try to you know, do those things. And and then now, so we do have two under two.
00:36:28
Speaker 4: Well we just he just turned to so we have a two year old a six month old, So like in the trenches again like trenches trenches of parenting. But you know, we still try to make time for each other, and we have lots of plans for like when the babies get a little bit older, to like really start to do stuff again just us.
00:36:42
Speaker 3: So yeah, we try to be intentional. I think it's very.
00:36:45
Speaker 1: Important to be what are your feelings on date nights and that, and do you all do them have set date nights?
00:36:51
Speaker 3: We don't have set date nights, I think largely in part because of where our lives are right now is just not it's hard for us.
00:36:58
Speaker 4: We say we want to do stuff, but then we don't want to leave our kids, so nobody like we always want to have our kids.
00:37:04
Speaker 3: It makes us both happy.
00:37:05
Speaker 4: So what we do, what we try to do is like we're cooking together, so like I'll find a recipe and we'll do something like that together and that satisfies us.
00:37:11
Speaker 3: Or like my husband loves movies.
00:37:13
Speaker 4: I'm not a big movie person or TV person, but we'll you know, put the best together down early and watch something together and that feels like bonding time. Like that's what we're fasting right now. So that's like feels like once again, like just us doing something, just the two of us. So it's like we try to do things like that that we're both into. You know, one person might bring to the other person will do it together and it feels like just our special thing. But we're not like hardcore on like Sturtaday night at seven o'clock, drop everything you're doing.
00:37:38
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. What are you all watching together? You all have a show or something in particular you all are following right now. We're always curious because we watch so much stuff together.
00:37:46
Speaker 4: Well, my husband is like, like, my husband loves YouTube and like, so we're always watching stuff that we can learn from. So we're like watching a series or movies right now, but it's like whatever's going on in the world, Like we want to understand more about what's going on, like you know, and my husband loves like black history, so we're always like watching documentaries on like our history.
00:38:05
Speaker 3: So not really exciting stuff, but we do it together nonetheless.
00:38:11
Speaker 1: O black history.
00:38:14
Speaker 8: Wait what did you wait? I didn't hear that. Wait, we didn't hear that.
00:38:17
Speaker 1: What did you just say?
00:38:19
Speaker 3: And help and help and help?
00:38:22
Speaker 1: Wait?
00:38:22
Speaker 8: Okay, I'm curious.
00:38:24
Speaker 2: I'm curious on you if you could get your husband to watch anything with you, like a movie, a show, a series, what would it be.
00:38:33
Speaker 4: So, you know, I'm a realiz, like I love, like married to medicine, all that kind of stuff. So like I'll you know, beg him to like watch stuff like that with me. But I'm also really busy too, so I'm not I'm not tripping right.
00:38:42
Speaker 3: Now, Like I don't have much time.
00:38:44
Speaker 4: I'm trying to grow a business, grow this family, so I'm really not too you know picky on that kind of stuff. But yeah, I like my married to medicines and all those kind of shows.
00:38:53
Speaker 1: Robot just made me think of something else. You both of you answer this, if you could get your partner to do something thing with you that you know your partner doesn't like. Right, it's not she doesn't usually like to go to I don't know, a hockey match, or he doesn't usually like to go to whatever.
00:39:11
Speaker 2: What is?
00:39:12
Speaker 1: Is there one thing you wish that you could get them on board with doing?
00:39:18
Speaker 2: For me?
00:39:18
Speaker 5: I think you know this one.
00:39:21
Speaker 8: Oh, skydiving. We've discussed this as well.
00:39:28
Speaker 3: Really have you done it before?
00:39:30
Speaker 8: Neither one of us have.
00:39:31
Speaker 1: Done it before. I made the same face you just made when every time she brings it up.
00:39:35
Speaker 2: I want to go skydiving. I want to go I want to do a lot of that stuff that he's not that into.
00:39:41
Speaker 4: He did it, He's done it, and it was amazing. Like I was like, oh my gosh, I want to do this, and then I was like, hell, no, I should do this.
00:39:50
Speaker 5: It's gonna take you to another level.
00:39:53
Speaker 1: So tell you what do you want him to do?
00:39:56
Speaker 3: I think for me it would be more.
00:39:57
Speaker 4: I mean it's just like simple stuff like I wish my husband would like to go shopping, like I love, like buying stuff for the family, clothes like around the house, and he's just never into that stuff. So yeah, simple simple girl stuff like come with stop shoppings together, shops have girlfriends.
00:40:16
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. He wants her to jump out a plane and she will. Let's go shopping, Let's go to TJ Max.
00:40:23
Speaker 3: So different, simple stuff, simple stuff.
00:40:27
Speaker 8: Oh my goodness, y'all are amazing. What is next for you? Do you all have any couple goals for twenty twenty six?
00:40:35
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:40:36
Speaker 4: I mean so my husband and I have done everything together and now we're doing a business together. So like we have built this pajama brand coordinates, you know, just the two of us like growing this brand, and it's been amazing to do it together because I feel like in the areas that I'm weak, he's strong. So it's been this amazing balance. And so as far as not relationship goal, say necessarily, but just as like our you know, as us as a couple, like continue to figure ot how we can grow this business. We want it to be like a family business and be like a legacy business. So that would be I think one of my primary goals for twenty twenty six, and then I think, like relationship wise, just staying in this space of like honeymooning and growth and you know.
00:41:18
Speaker 3: Like just this pure love that we have for to the right now. We really just want to stay in that space.
00:41:23
Speaker 4: Ah ha ha.
00:41:27
Speaker 3: Don't you even dare?
00:41:28
Speaker 8: You got three boys? You got three boys?
00:41:30
Speaker 2: Right?
00:41:31
Speaker 3: And Amy? Do you know who selects the gender of these children?
00:41:35
Speaker 5: God?
00:41:35
Speaker 8: Yes he does.
00:41:37
Speaker 3: So he had three chances to get a girl.
00:41:40
Speaker 1: You have struck out, so it's okay, done, But skydiving or another baby? Tell me signinga sky diving or another baby? Which one I diving?
00:41:50
Speaker 3: WHOA, Okay, I'm jumping out. I get that.
00:41:56
Speaker 8: It's funny.
00:41:57
Speaker 2: My brother and his wife same thing. He wanted a girl, ended up with three boys. He wanted to keep going. She's like, no, because we'll just end up with the fourth.
00:42:05
Speaker 8: So no, thank you. I totally get that.
00:42:11
Speaker 1: Guys, this was absolutely awesome. And this is why every single couple we talked to last year we finished and we felt better as a couple, or we grew as a couple after we talked to every single couple because we didn't fill alone. You all go into some of the same stuff we're going through, and you all are just a delight. It's good to see people doing so well who have gone through hell and you know it's gonna be okay. We've been through our hell plenty in life and made a bunch of screw ups, but we found each other and here we are and we're happy and we're so glad to be able to talk to you too. Really we need to. We would love to catch up with you all in Atlanta. We come down there quite a bit, so we love to catch up with you.
00:42:49
Speaker 3: Love to love love that.
00:42:50
Speaker 4: Thank you guys for having us like this is a treat, Yeah, because we haven't had like a relationship kind of in a long time.
00:42:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is really fun.
00:42:59
Speaker 3: Thanks for thinking.
00:43:00
Speaker 2: I guarantee you anyone who is listening right now feels better about their relationship, feels more hopeful. It is. I mean, I know it's hard to talk about the tough times, but that actually is so helpful to hear. Y'all went through two years of hell and look at you now, So congratulations on all your.
00:43:16
Speaker 8: Success, on your beautiful family that's gonna stay. Three boys, a family of a family of five.
00:43:24
Speaker 4: I mean, you want to.
00:43:26
Speaker 8: The growth is going to be spiritual, not physical.
00:43:33
Speaker 2: Sonya, Richards Ross, Aaron Ross, thank y'all so much and happy Valentine's Day by
00:43:38
Speaker 3: The way, Thank you to you, thank you guys.
Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories and Sonya, Richard Ross and Aaron Ross joining us. Now, before we get going, let's just get this out of the way. University of Texas and the two of US, University of Georgia, University of Arkansas. Let's just try to get this. Let's just get through this over everybody.
00:00:30
Speaker 2: Okay, it's all good here. It's just friendly competition.
00:00:35
Speaker 1: So God, it's good to see you. And let's start. Yes, right off the top. And I guess this is kind of a This is the one that tripped a lot of folks up, so we change it a little bit this year. So put it this way in five words or less, and I'll start with you, Sonya, describe your relationship.
00:00:53
Speaker 3: Ooh, that's a really good one.
00:00:57
Speaker 4: I'm happy that we didn't watch other ones so this would be so authentsake, you know, you're not like prepared. But in five words unless which is very hard for me teaching because I like to do, but I would say our relationship is the most loving, like joyous place of growth.
00:01:24
Speaker 5: That's mine life.
00:01:27
Speaker 4: For me, you know, like for us. I don't know if that's five words, but that's what comes to mind.
00:01:31
Speaker 1: Loving, joyous, place of growth.
00:01:33
Speaker 2: That was five nailed it not shocking all right? Eron how about you?
00:01:44
Speaker 5: I would she stole my growth?
00:01:45
Speaker 6: So now I got back, I would say our relationship is exciting.
00:01:55
Speaker 5: Damn. I want to use growth. Growth is is.
00:01:57
Speaker 6: I think growth is the main thing, especially with us together for so long. So exciting growth and a roller coaster, Guys, roller coasters are exciting.
00:02:11
Speaker 5: They are.
00:02:13
Speaker 7: They can be scary too, though, both and you hope it doesn't go off the tracks.
00:02:19
Speaker 1: Now, that's a lot of stuff we could do with roller coasters here.
00:02:22
Speaker 8: But that's honest. I appreciate that. No, but that is true.
00:02:25
Speaker 2: And I think when people hear that, all jokes aside, it makes the rest of us mortals feel like, Okay, we're not alone. Roller Coaster rides are a part of most relationships, even solid ones, even time tested ones.
00:02:39
Speaker 8: I'm curious who said I love you first?
00:02:43
Speaker 5: Oh?
00:02:43
Speaker 3: Definitely mean and early too.
00:02:47
Speaker 2: So.
00:02:47
Speaker 4: My husband and I met at utube and in college freshman year of college two thousand and three, and we were both were both on athletic scholarships. We both hadn't we didn't know each other before. So I'm with my sister and he walks into the CAFs and I'm like, ooh, he is point.
00:03:04
Speaker 3: Who is that?
00:03:06
Speaker 4: You know? So I call him over and he introduced himself, and you know, we kind of go on our first DAIDA a week or so later, and I want to say, probably in the first month or so.
00:03:15
Speaker 3: We're on a call and I'm like, I love you.
00:03:18
Speaker 1: Oh wow Bold, yeah, oh yeah, I listen.
00:03:23
Speaker 3: I know what I want.
00:03:24
Speaker 4: Amy. I don't really play around. It's like, look, I saw him. I was like, that's my husband, He's the one.
00:03:29
Speaker 3: Let's do this.
00:03:30
Speaker 1: Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then how long? Okay, go ahead, Aaron, what was your reaction immediately? And then how long before you said I love you?
00:03:40
Speaker 5: I'll come back to my reaction. Okay, all right.
00:03:43
Speaker 6: So to give you some context, so I saw her like a year previous to when the time that she's she just actually met yeah, sorry to track meet. And of course I didn't want to approach. I wanted wanted her to focus on what she was doing. So that following year, I get back to campus, I'm asking my teammates, Hey, do you.
00:04:03
Speaker 5: Know this this girl.
00:04:05
Speaker 6: I'm trying to figure out where she's at, who she is, and then they actually told me that she had a boyfriend.
00:04:10
Speaker 5: So I was like, ah, so I kind of fell back.
00:04:14
Speaker 6: But then this actual time right here that she's talking about, when she saw me coming to the cafeteria, I'm an athlete, so coaches always told me to make sure.
00:04:27
Speaker 5: You put yourself in position and make places. She got me. I put myself in position.
00:04:34
Speaker 3: But to get to exactly, you haven't flotten.
00:04:39
Speaker 5: Whole year, she didn't even know. So she went for the baby.
00:04:45
Speaker 6: But to answer your question, when she said it, it definitely caught me off of surprise. And I have a sweet mate, a roommate, sweet mate, and I said I love you too, hung up, ran to it, ran to his room like, oh man, I just told him, girl, I love broth.
00:05:07
Speaker 8: So you regretted it for that because it was so soon.
00:05:11
Speaker 5: So I was like, am I supposed to say this this early? But of course I always head over heels for but that love you were and it was it's serious. We've been together ever since.
00:05:25
Speaker 2: Yeah, y'all said I love you very quickly and maybe shockingly so for Aaron, how long were you engaged before you decided to get married? Maybe I should ask how long until you got engaged and then how long until you got married?
00:05:39
Speaker 3: Yeah, so we were together for seven.
00:05:41
Speaker 6: Years ten, two thousand and three and two thousand and eight.
00:05:45
Speaker 4: We got married in twenty ten, but you're proposed in eight So we're together for five years and then engaged for two years. So we got married seven years after meeting. So five years into our relationship he proposed, and then two years that.
00:06:00
Speaker 3: We got married.
00:06:01
Speaker 1: Okay, so you've been married. Now how many years.
00:06:05
Speaker 5: Married? Since? Ten?
00:06:07
Speaker 3: Sixteen years?
00:06:08
Speaker 2: This year?
00:06:08
Speaker 1: Okay, So tell me this What was the best year? Aaron? I'll start with you, what was the best year of your marriage so far? Or if you can't give me a specific year, tell me what was the best stretch of your marriage so far? Those early years, some middle years or lately where we are.
00:06:26
Speaker 6: Now, it's two during our career, so of course twenty ten through two thousand and sixteen, it felt.
00:06:36
Speaker 5: Like a fairy tale when kids yet nothing, nothing that happened.
00:06:42
Speaker 3: We ain't had no kid yet.
00:06:45
Speaker 5: Part part that middle part we had our son in seventeen through twenty two after roller.
00:06:55
Speaker 6: Coaster Wow, and then probably I will say now I would say our best year has been these last two because of the brot.
00:07:04
Speaker 8: Yeah, and it sounds like you agree with that.
00:07:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would say like in the beginning, even before we got married, it felt like we were like on this honeymoon for years, like people. It was like seven eight years of just you know, relationship and marital bliss. And I think a large part of that too, was because we were also living in our dreams. Like Ross was in the NFL living out his dream I was competing in the Olympics. I think that we had enough space in our relationshiphere we you know, we were traveling, so when we saw each other was always like we just wanted to be loving, you know.
00:07:32
Speaker 5: It wasn't like we were each other.
00:07:34
Speaker 4: Yeah, we went like fighting because we weren't in the same house all the time. I think we really appreciate our times together. So, yeah, we had a really nice stretch of a like literally like honeymoon bliss. And like Ross said, we had that tough period when we had our first son and then other things to a lot of changes, you know what I mean, like not no longer competing in our sport, like the loss of that, which feels like a death of something, you know, because we have been doing it since I was I saw when I was seven, and so you know, that period for both of us of transitioning from sports into real life and being parents and all that stuff was really tough on us. And then I think now we're kind of on the other side of that. So I would say those first ten years.
00:08:12
Speaker 3: And now these last like two.
00:08:14
Speaker 2: That is so interesting because one of the questions is did you have a honeymoon period and if so, how long did it last?
00:08:21
Speaker 8: Would you say, and I would you attribute.
00:08:24
Speaker 2: Part of the fact that your honeymoon period lasted for so long and sounds like it was near down perfect. How much time were you actually spending together. Do you think having the time apart and having that time to be together to support each other, but to also have your individual needs being met outside of the partner had a huge part of that honeymoon period.
00:08:48
Speaker 4: I think that I think the space is one thing that people in relationships don't give enough kind of respect to how important that is. I think that people get married and they just everything's just all on top of each other all at once, and that's hard. It's hard when you transit from single life or whatever your life was pre to like now, every moment you're with the person and you're their source of happiness, it's really hard. And so I think for us, yes, there was this awesomeness about our relationship in the beginning, part because we were both so happy on our personal journeys as well that I think played into it. And then you know, we were young, we were just it was just a lot of really amazing factors. I think that made it really special at that time. And yeah, it was definitely an extended, extended period.
00:09:33
Speaker 1: Okay, so the key to being happy is being a part as much as you can early on. Got it.
00:09:39
Speaker 5: It's just actually it was the gift and the curse.
00:09:44
Speaker 6: That was the gift in the beginning, but then the curse came came when we had to stay and figure each other out being together after retirement.
00:09:53
Speaker 5: We had we were just in the house of twenty four to seven with each other.
00:09:58
Speaker 6: So it was just it was like the of most people's relationship to where you're trying to I don't like taking the trash out early in the morning, but she wanted me to take the trash out early in the morning.
00:10:10
Speaker 3: So it was just so many things that we had like refigure out.
00:10:14
Speaker 6: Yeah, refigure out that we used to let each other slide on because we were just so happy to see each other, you.
00:10:19
Speaker 1: Know, Aaron. That takes us to another question we do have, But tell us what is the longest stretch or period of time that you all have been apart from each other or actually living apart even from each other. What was the longest stretches you all had to deal with in your relationship.
00:10:35
Speaker 6: I would say it's not so much living apart because football season and track season it kind of its opposite. So and my off season is her season, so I would go where she's at, So it wasn't an extended amount of time, but she would be gone maybe a week.
00:10:55
Speaker 3: Two weeks, sometimes Olympics three weeks.
00:10:57
Speaker 4: Yes, we say the longest TJ was probably a month, like from like where I would be for the Olympics, we would go to training camp and then I'd be gone, or like Ross will be a training camp.
00:11:07
Speaker 3: I would say the longest was a month, but.
00:11:09
Speaker 5: That happened quite off yeah, throughout the year.
00:11:12
Speaker 6: Yeah, so it would be two to four weeks where we'll have off and then we'll be together for like maybe three months, and then we'll have another week or Yeah, there was a lot of breaks.
00:11:23
Speaker 5: In between that one year.
00:11:24
Speaker 3: All right.
00:11:25
Speaker 2: So once you all ended up living with one another day in and day out, there weren't exciting trips necessarily that you were off to go accomplish your dreams.
00:11:34
Speaker 8: Now you're stuck with one another. What were the problems?
00:11:40
Speaker 2: I mean, I know you joked about the trash, but what were some of the daily problems that started to chip away potentially at your romantic, honeymoon esque clove.
00:11:51
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:11:52
Speaker 4: I would say the biggest one started with our with their with the birth of our son. So I think for us ultimately, and I think a lot of times in relationships, you set out thinking, you guys have you know, exactly similar goals, like everything is going to be aligned on how you're going to do things, and then when things don't pan out that way, it can cause like a riff. And so I think I have like fifteen god children, like I'm Godmother of the year, I'm Auntie of the Year, and I thought I was gonna raise our kids a certain way, which was completely in alignment with how Ross was like more strict, like very you know, structured kind of the way we grew up. And then and then the babies came and I was like wrapped around my little finger. I mean, he's softy, you know, And so just even those types of things like understanding like what parenting was going to look like for me versus for him, like what my expectations were of him as a father and a husband, like you know, to support me. So I feel like the baby was the biggest, like first like kind of tornado that hit our marriage because we weren't communicating as clearly.
00:12:51
Speaker 3: As we had in the past.
00:12:53
Speaker 4: And I think also too, what was difficult for us was that whenever I would try to express myself, it felt like I was saying he wasn't being a good father and vice versa.
00:13:02
Speaker 3: So it was really hard for us to receive.
00:13:03
Speaker 4: That because we felt like we both were in our own right and so I think that was the biggest challenge for us, was how do you communicate how you're feeling about something in a way that still feels like positive and uplifting, but you know, still get your point across. And I think that was that was when we started to have the challenges in our marriage.
00:13:21
Speaker 6: Aaron, you agree with that, I agree one hundred percent. Yeah, she hit it on the head. I can't even add to it. Yeah, it's perfect.
00:13:29
Speaker 8: How did you get sorry? How did you get through that?
00:13:31
Speaker 2: Then?
00:13:31
Speaker 8: I mean, how did you get help outside help? Or did you just figure it out?
00:13:36
Speaker 5: I think we started to and it took a while, but.
00:13:43
Speaker 6: We tried to communicate as best as possible and kept coming Okay, this was the major change, and you kind of touched on it. What it was is we started to attack the problem instead of each other. So we started to attack the issue. And I think that's that was the like big life for life for us. And that's when things you started to see things change.
00:14:09
Speaker 5: Things that she was saying to me.
00:14:12
Speaker 6: I started to receive better, and I was like, I'd never heard that, and she's been saying it for the longest, but I wasn't receiving it that way, and vice versa. So when we started to put the problem on the table and said let's fix this us, let's attack this problem, that's when we started to see major change.
00:14:32
Speaker 1: And this is a couple we've are a question We've asked every couple as well. Did you get help in working through that? Did you we all go to a counselor or therapy of any kind of did you handle it on your own?
00:14:43
Speaker 3: We handled it on our own, Yeah, we we.
00:14:46
Speaker 4: And the thing is we've like I had a sports psychologist through the end of my track career, so I'm very open to talking to people.
00:14:53
Speaker 3: That's something that you know, Rossnein both would do.
00:14:56
Speaker 4: And I would use my sports psychologist sometimes to help me with issues in my marriage. But Ross I never went together or felt the needs to go together, and so no, we didn't have to get like a psychologist to help us or go outside of our marriage. But what I did want to add to that too was just I'm just always I know that there are people listening who maybe going through some similar things.
00:15:17
Speaker 3: So just some of the lessons too that we learned from that.
00:15:20
Speaker 4: Because on top of that too, right, we kind of mentioned it too, like we also were going through a lot of life changes, and so I feel like Ross went through a stage of depression first, I think, I think when looking back and now I feel like I did too.
00:15:31
Speaker 3: There was a point of why, you know, but there.
00:15:34
Speaker 4: He was also just kind of not himself, right because football was over this kind of identity crisis of like what are we going to do next?
00:15:41
Speaker 3: You know, it's just like really challenging to.
00:15:43
Speaker 5: Figure out what's next. Who am I outside of football?
00:15:47
Speaker 4: And I think what a lot of people do in relationships is that like when you sign on to be with somebody for life, you got to understand you're going to love this person at their highs and at their lows. And I think people want to give up on that person when they felt, oh they changed or they're not happy whatever. But I feel like if you can love on that person and show up for them and kind of be a reflection of them being their best self, then there comes a time when they're able to do that for you. And so I think that that also was was big for us at that time too. And I think about you know, that phase of our relationship, it was just really really tough. It wasn't just deuce our son. It was also just a lot of life changes, you know, like we were moving from allstin. It was just so many things, And it would have been easy at that time about this is too much like we used to being bullissed.
00:16:30
Speaker 3: Why are we at a two? Like why did they go from a ten too?
00:16:32
Speaker 5: Too? Start new businesses? Yeah, Yeah, it was just a lot, But.
00:16:36
Speaker 4: I think I think that that's when that's when true love is really tested, and that's when you're able to like. And that's why we talk about growth so much, because we went through it like we had to like learn to love each other again and be there in the hard times and love each other unconditionally.
00:16:51
Speaker 1: Yeah y'all laughing now exactly, But it was always funny.
00:16:58
Speaker 3: It wasn't always funny, you know.
00:17:00
Speaker 1: So you know, to the points you all are right now making leads us to a question we have here, What is the closest you all got in your relationship do you think to it ending for good? Not just a bump in the road, but did you have a moment where you actually thought, damn, this might be it?
00:17:18
Speaker 4: I think, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, definitely, And I think so I think that for that part, this was kind of more on me where Okay, so thet really talking about this is the public yet. But so you know, as an athlete, right, like I think for me in particular, I know R also agree with it to some level, Like you're always chasing these goals, right, so like it was like next year I break the American record, break the War record, all of these things, right, and so I think that when I retired, it took me a lot longer to let go of that like what's the next thing I'm gonna win at?
00:17:51
Speaker 2: You know.
00:17:51
Speaker 3: So it's like I had the baby, Okay, check out my mom, but like what next? What next? What next?
00:17:56
Speaker 4: And so like even like doing the Housewives, all the ortunities that were coming my way, it was like me just saying yes because I wanted to keep winning, like I wanted to keep achieving. And so I hadn't really settled into like that next phase of our life of like what it really looked like to be a mom and to be a wife and not be this athlete or this you know person that's always pursuing pursuing. And my husband I think, hey, this is this is their work and the girls and so you know, my husband kept trying to explain, like she tell me, like you got to slow down, like this is like now we need to be focused on family, like this is the thing, and I'm like family, family, We got that, like what else are we doing?
00:18:34
Speaker 3: Like you know, what else are we doing? And so I think that in that.
00:18:38
Speaker 4: Phase, we were both really unhappy because Ross wanted one thing and I wanted something else.
00:18:44
Speaker 3: And we're kind of like going in, you know, like this for a little bit.
00:18:48
Speaker 4: And my husband just had so much patience, you know with me in allowing me to kind of like trip up a little bit.
00:18:56
Speaker 3: And then kind of come.
00:18:57
Speaker 4: Back around to like, you know what, you're right, like, this is the phase of our life now where it is really family first, not just me saying oh, I'm doing all for my family, but like literally being family first and you know, and making that shift in my mind that I wasn't just this like individual athlete chasing success, but I'm now this family person who.
00:19:16
Speaker 3: It's all about our family success.
00:19:17
Speaker 4: So yeah, we went through that was our I think that was even worse than with Deuce, like that like not being on the same page and like that concept like no, and I'm also like no, we're not doing that.
00:19:26
Speaker 3: I'm like, you know, like that tugging of like what do we do next? That was that was the hardest time for us.
00:19:31
Speaker 5: For sure.
00:19:33
Speaker 2: I so appreciate Sonya that vulnerability and that honesty because I think, yes, you all had an extreme case because you are.
00:19:41
Speaker 8: Who you are and you've accomplished what you've accomplished.
00:19:43
Speaker 2: But I think so many people resonate with that, where do my dreams begin and end? And how does that fit in with a relationship and with a family. And when you have gotten your value and your worth out of performance, out of RecA ignition of that performance, it is really hard when it goes away. I know that.
00:20:04
Speaker 8: I think TJ and I can both speak to that specifically.
00:20:07
Speaker 2: Maybe not on the same level, but certainly that makes so much sense and being vulnerable and saying, hey, that tested me.
00:20:15
Speaker 8: I'm curious when you were in that period. And first of all, I'm just curious how long it lasted.
00:20:20
Speaker 2: And and b did you ever while you were having a disagreement or a fight, threatened that it was over, threatened that it was going to leave, say I'm done, did those words ever come out?
00:20:33
Speaker 3: I would say it lasted about two years, Is that right?
00:20:37
Speaker 5: Yeah? Yeah?
00:20:40
Speaker 4: And I like so Rossni made a pact like when we first meant that we would never use the D word, Like we were always like really strict about that, like we're never going to use the D word in our marriage.
00:20:50
Speaker 3: Like no matter what.
00:20:52
Speaker 4: And I'm trying to think that I don't I don't even think at that time we actually said it.
00:20:55
Speaker 5: I think she never told me. She might have told a friend or something.
00:21:00
Speaker 2: Him.
00:21:01
Speaker 8: That's fair, that's fair question.
00:21:06
Speaker 2: To me.
00:21:08
Speaker 4: I think we kept that promise to each other, even at our lowest and never say but we felt it, definitely, we felt it. We can feel like this really might not make it another year, but we never said it.
00:21:28
Speaker 1: How often big or small do you fight?
00:21:34
Speaker 5: Mm hmmm, we've been with those. The time here that we were talking about it was a lot. But currently currently we've been in that honeymoon phase again. Now it's more it's more of a discussion and a debate rather than an argument.
00:21:52
Speaker 1: That's good to hear. And that's what you're talking about, right, Aaron, that's growth. All right, Let's stick to the house for a second. Let's go with a few chores around the house, some of the basic things, cooking, cleaning, laundry. Let's just start with who does most of the cooking in the house. I do, all right, I don't think. Yeah, Aaron's not not even nodding the head on that one. That's uh, that's probably the case. Is anyone to sign a lot too?
00:22:14
Speaker 3: So my husband will order my husband. She's not a Jesus a lot. But whenever we cook, which is not that much. I don't want I come getting too much credit.
00:22:24
Speaker 7: Okay, now we want to qualify it because I asked her and you just said me. And when someone does cook, it's right. That's an honest about who cleans?
00:22:39
Speaker 4: We both, yeah, but my husband's more of the clean freak, so he's the one. Like when he cleans, I got to move everything out of the way because he might throw me away.
00:22:45
Speaker 3: I'm like, no, no, that.
00:22:48
Speaker 8: And what about laundry.
00:22:51
Speaker 6: She won't let me do the laundry. She would do the laundry, and I'm a better folder. She she does the laundry well, and I fold fold.
00:22:59
Speaker 3: You'll put the colors with the whites.
00:23:01
Speaker 1: I'm like, look this everything, I got it, you know, on behalf of all guys everywhere. Does it really matter?
00:23:07
Speaker 8: Yes, it absolutely does. The white turned gray or pink?
00:23:11
Speaker 3: It does it?
00:23:12
Speaker 1: Though they do?
00:23:15
Speaker 8: Yes, it matters, it mattered.
00:23:17
Speaker 1: Okay, thanks, okay, fun, Actually we just played dumb, so y'all keep doing it.
00:23:23
Speaker 2: You're such because you know I'm a better folder than he is of the clothes, so therefore I actually like folding clothes, though I fully honest, I get a sense of accomplishment sadly from that.
00:23:32
Speaker 1: And you know what, and Sonya too, since Sonya you were being honest, we will be honest. We do wash and fold here in New York, like we have we we send it out anyway, nobody does. Somebody else does our launder.
00:23:44
Speaker 8: That's a new thing though. It's because we don't have a washer and dryer in this apartment. Otherwise we would absolutely do it.
00:23:53
Speaker 1: It's a long store. We'll get back to you. Let's stick with this in the house for a second. We're talking about fighting. You all don't. Don't do the fighting as much now, But what do you think about the idea? Did you all ever go to bed angry? Some couple say you absolutely should, shouldn't. Some therapists say, hell, yeah, it's okay. To where do you all fall in now?
00:24:12
Speaker 6: We definitely did. I think it's good now, but we definitely I would. I would go to my little boom boom room and get away. Yeah, and I'll sleep down there. Some nights when it felt like we weren't just couldn't agree, or even it wasn't even about agreeing. It was more about us leaving a conversation feeling like.
00:24:40
Speaker 5: We weren't heard. Yeah, both both ways. So I think that's what it was. Frustrated both of us, like you're not hearing what I'm saying.
00:24:48
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think it's I think it's unrealistic to say never go to bed angry, Like that's just it's I think it's impossible. If you've been with somebody for twenty plus years, there's just no way you're going to be like every night, if there's something happened, we're gonna make up tonight and go to bed happy. It's just it's a nice goal to set. It's a nice you know, it's a nice thing to try to achieve. But I think it's unrealistic to say that every night you're gonna go to bed happy. I think that, and I think sometimes you need that time, Like sometimes the day runs out and you need I just need a moment.
00:25:18
Speaker 3: Maybe tomorrow we can address the issue.
00:25:20
Speaker 6: So yeah, And it's not to cut you off with it, but it's been a few times where I went down to the boom boom room and had a chance to kind of decompress, and I might have came back up and were like, oh damn, I was tripping baby, my bad.
00:25:32
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's so good to hear. I know, I don't want to harp on the two years that were tough.
00:25:39
Speaker 1: And I'm curious.
00:25:40
Speaker 2: I'm curious how you got out of it. How did you get out of it? How did you stop that cycle?
00:25:46
Speaker 3: Oh man, good, good question. I think you know, first of all, we are praying couple, so we will pray.
00:25:53
Speaker 4: We're actually fasting right now, so we praying fast so you know, we keep God in the center of our marriage.
00:25:59
Speaker 3: So that's number one.
00:26:00
Speaker 4: And I think that through a lot of those tough times, prayer has really helped us, you know. And we'll be mad now, grab his hand and just start praying. Now, how are you gonna imagine why she.
00:26:10
Speaker 3: Get mad at me? I'm praying for you, you know.
00:26:13
Speaker 4: So I think prayer and then once again communication like my husband and I I think that has been the beauty of our marriage. Like we say the hard things, you know, we we communicate to a fault. So I think that that is what really helped us, was like just really trying to communicate and get to a good place of you know, like and then and.
00:26:32
Speaker 3: Then and then change behavior.
00:26:35
Speaker 4: Let's let's give, let's give a little recognition to that as well. Like you know, if you're in a relationship and your partner is asking for something and it's something that is valid, and you want to stay in that situation, and you gotta have change behavior. So I think for me, when I talk about those two years of us not being on the same page, there was change behavior.
00:26:53
Speaker 3: Like I was like, you know what, like I do, I do.
00:26:55
Speaker 4: Respect what you're saying. I do want to honor my family in this way, and I may change. So that also helps to bring back the joy and the love to relationship is when you change, you know.
00:27:06
Speaker 1: I love that.
00:27:08
Speaker 2: I think everyone wants to know, and I'm sure everyone asks folks like you who have made it through the tough times life's roller coaster and looking back now, what relationship advice would you give other couples, So, someone who's considering marriage, someone who's considering taking that next step in their relationship.
00:27:28
Speaker 8: When you think about the mistakes couples make, the mistakes.
00:27:30
Speaker 2: Even you've made, what would be your best advice for a happy relationship.
00:27:40
Speaker 5: I go back to growth.
00:27:42
Speaker 6: Be willing to grow with your partner and understand the growth that he or she, what journey they're on. Because if you're like for us, we've been together for twenty years. And I've said this before, it's felt like I've been married to four different women. I've had to learn and relearn and relearn my wife and try to mold who I've become because I'm also growing in a way as well, so trying to just relearn and fall in love with each other again. And then I think, like I mentioned before, the most important thing for me to give advice for is basically to attack the problem sometimes. I know as athletes, you always you're almost triggered to win, and if you're not winning, you're losing. There's no great So we've we've kind of learned to let's win and attack the problem together.
00:28:38
Speaker 5: And I think that's the best advice that I.
00:28:41
Speaker 1: Can give married the four different signs, which one was your favorite? Ok So I'm kidding, Aaron, do not answer that question. Just playing, just playing here, Okay, just kidding you all. I want to ask about friendship. People say it all the time, married to my best friend, and that you hear that kind of stuff. Where does friendship play in you all's relationship? What was the friendship even before you started dating or did it not really develop until you started an actual romantic relationship.
00:29:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you gotta be friends. You have to be friends.
00:29:18
Speaker 4: You have to actually like the person that you're doing life with. So I think friendship is extremely important. I remember when we went to marriage counseling before we got married, or pastor required that we do marriage counseling, and he said one of the key things he said was that she has to be a friend because everything else eventually will fall off, right, Like, yes, you know you're gonna romance to the death of it, but eventually even that will fade, right like all those things. So friendship is really important. So for us, No, we didn't have a friendship prior to us dating. You know, we met in college and our intentions were to kind of be boyfriend girlfrienm the very beginning. But boy, did we build a beautiful friendship along the way. Like we laughed together. I could be with Ross, just me and Ross all the time. I don't have to, you know, be with anybody else because we get each other. We laugh together like we're friends. So I certainly think that that is extremely important that the person that you choose to marry should be someone that you like that you have a great friendship with and you know, because that's what's going to help you to stand the test of time. It's like, how much do you actually really like this person?
00:30:17
Speaker 5: You know, like it's rough.
00:30:23
Speaker 2: What compromises maybe even sacrifices have you each had to make to make the relationship work.
00:30:32
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I mean, that's a good question. No, no one has ever asked us that. That's a really good question. You want to go first, Bade, Yeah, No, that's that's a really good question. I think that because because the reality is like I'm not I don't like the world's words sacrifice someone I could always feel as negative. But it's like you're making this investment right, something that you may not want to do because you want to. Like in sports, I'm not sacrificing my time. I'm investing my time because I want to be great, and so I like to to keep that same lens on for a relationship. But sometimes it does feel like sacrifice because you are giving up something that's important to you to make this other person happy.
00:31:09
Speaker 3: So I think that we've sacrificed a lot, you know, like through our relationship.
00:31:13
Speaker 4: Like even I can think about for my husband, like he when he would have his off season where he should be training with the team because I was in season, he would come and be with me, And there was there was something lost there right, like he could have gotten become a better athlete himself or built more team camaraderie, but he chose to come be with me. That that was always a major sacrifice, you know, and vice versa. I would go do my off season training in New York it was freezing cold instead of being in Texas training with my teammates because I'm wanted to spend that time with him. So I think if we were to really think about our relationship throughout the years, there were tons of times we were both making sacrifices. My husband started our chauffeur company in Texas, so we talked about that time when he retired and figured out what he wants to do next, and we started a show for company and it was doing really well. And then I got an opportunity to come to Atlanta for a job, and my husband left Texas, left the business and came to Atlanta for us for me to pursue that opportunity. So I just think there's this constant sacrificing and you know, giving to your partner, whether it's for them to live their dream or for them.
00:32:16
Speaker 3: To be happy.
00:32:17
Speaker 4: That's always happening in a relationship, and I think the important thing to do is to just make sure that it feels balanced because at some point in a relationship, if it starts to feel like it's too heavy on one person, then that person is going to start to harbor resentment. And so you know, for me, I try to be really mindful like my husband, I think he's going to be. I'm saying it on national platform like the head coach of the University of Texas one day, because I think he's like an amazing coach, but because of life sacrifices, he hasn't finished, like, you know, all the things that he needs to do to be able to do that. So I'm like, okay, babe, it's your turn, Like what are we going to do for you to get starting on your coaching journey?
00:32:53
Speaker 3: And you know, do your thing.
00:32:55
Speaker 4: So I think that we're all constantly making sacrifices for relationship, but you got to check in with your partner and make sure it's not too heavy.
00:33:02
Speaker 3: On one side.
00:33:04
Speaker 1: Good and she gave you time to think of a really good answer rather than answered like ten of them. The last few things before we let you all go back to this is I forgot that we moved it too far down. Money. How do you want handle money in the house. There's always a thing with couples, joint accounts, separate accounts. How does it work with you guys?
00:33:38
Speaker 6: We have all three have my account, her account, and then we have a joint account. But I do most of them managing the money.
00:33:48
Speaker 3: I'm a yellow girl. So thank God for rosscause, oh.
00:33:51
Speaker 6: Wow, I'm.
00:33:55
Speaker 1: That's balance. That's good.
00:33:57
Speaker 2: I like that.
00:33:57
Speaker 4: I like thank God for balance because we would be all the street somewhere. It wasn't about to say, you know, we're trying to live to we're like eightie, right.
00:34:10
Speaker 1: I love that.
00:34:11
Speaker 8: Do you all find that you have to work at keeping the spark alive?
00:34:14
Speaker 2: I know that there was that instant attraction we talked about or you referenced, and we all know that, yes, that that attraction can ebb and flow based on where you are in your relationship. Do you actually make an effort to keep the spark alive?
00:34:30
Speaker 5: Yes?
00:34:31
Speaker 6: I think that's very important. This is actually happy. She doesn't even know this yet, but this has happened to me maybe the last two years. So I used to always come up with cool little ideas for a birthday or Valentine's or whatever little special occasion. And I would come up with cool little little things and it would keep the spark going. But with us being together for so I've ran out of ideas. So the last last year, I said, Mabe, what do you want? And that's the first time that's ever happened coming from me. And she didn't have an idea.
00:35:05
Speaker 5: So I just kind of didn't do much like like what she's used to and it was an issue. So and she said she didn't want none.
00:35:16
Speaker 8: T j oh, never believe a woman when she says she doesn't want anything.
00:35:21
Speaker 3: I never believe it doesn't want anything.
00:35:24
Speaker 1: You know better, you didn't fall that he did.
00:35:29
Speaker 6: Good hope after positive enough in the bank to get you off never So I was completely wrong on that one. So this year, I'm starting early and I'm asking and she gave me the same answer.
00:35:44
Speaker 5: So I went to jet chat chat GPT.
00:35:47
Speaker 2: This is.
00:35:55
Speaker 4: But I mean, my jaws are hurting, But yes, Amy, I do think you got to be strategic and even for me, like as a mom, Like you know, I make an effort to like get my nails done, get my hair done, all of those things because I don't want to just like completely fall off.
00:36:08
Speaker 3: I think that for a man, I obviously know.
00:36:11
Speaker 4: That, you know, like attraction is not just the hearts right, Yes, yes, we're like all all this stuff too, So you know, like I do try to make an effort to like keep up with all of those things.
00:36:22
Speaker 3: Like I know the things that he likes, so I try to you know, do those things. And and then now, so we do have two under two.
00:36:28
Speaker 4: Well we just he just turned to so we have a two year old a six month old, So like in the trenches again like trenches trenches of parenting. But you know, we still try to make time for each other, and we have lots of plans for like when the babies get a little bit older, to like really start to do stuff again just us.
00:36:42
Speaker 3: So yeah, we try to be intentional. I think it's very.
00:36:45
Speaker 1: Important to be what are your feelings on date nights and that, and do you all do them have set date nights?
00:36:51
Speaker 3: We don't have set date nights, I think largely in part because of where our lives are right now is just not it's hard for us.
00:36:58
Speaker 4: We say we want to do stuff, but then we don't want to leave our kids, so nobody like we always want to have our kids.
00:37:04
Speaker 3: It makes us both happy.
00:37:05
Speaker 4: So what we do, what we try to do is like we're cooking together, so like I'll find a recipe and we'll do something like that together and that satisfies us.
00:37:11
Speaker 3: Or like my husband loves movies.
00:37:13
Speaker 4: I'm not a big movie person or TV person, but we'll you know, put the best together down early and watch something together and that feels like bonding time. Like that's what we're fasting right now. So that's like feels like once again, like just us doing something, just the two of us. So it's like we try to do things like that that we're both into. You know, one person might bring to the other person will do it together and it feels like just our special thing. But we're not like hardcore on like Sturtaday night at seven o'clock, drop everything you're doing.
00:37:38
Speaker 1: I'm just curious. What are you all watching together? You all have a show or something in particular you all are following right now. We're always curious because we watch so much stuff together.
00:37:46
Speaker 4: Well, my husband is like, like, my husband loves YouTube and like, so we're always watching stuff that we can learn from. So we're like watching a series or movies right now, but it's like whatever's going on in the world, Like we want to understand more about what's going on, like you know, and my husband loves like black history, so we're always like watching documentaries on like our history.
00:38:05
Speaker 3: So not really exciting stuff, but we do it together nonetheless.
00:38:11
Speaker 1: O black history.
00:38:14
Speaker 8: Wait what did you wait? I didn't hear that. Wait, we didn't hear that.
00:38:17
Speaker 1: What did you just say?
00:38:19
Speaker 3: And help and help and help?
00:38:22
Speaker 1: Wait?
00:38:22
Speaker 8: Okay, I'm curious.
00:38:24
Speaker 2: I'm curious on you if you could get your husband to watch anything with you, like a movie, a show, a series, what would it be.
00:38:33
Speaker 4: So, you know, I'm a realiz, like I love, like married to medicine, all that kind of stuff. So like I'll you know, beg him to like watch stuff like that with me. But I'm also really busy too, so I'm not I'm not tripping right.
00:38:42
Speaker 3: Now, Like I don't have much time.
00:38:44
Speaker 4: I'm trying to grow a business, grow this family, so I'm really not too you know picky on that kind of stuff. But yeah, I like my married to medicines and all those kind of shows.
00:38:53
Speaker 1: Robot just made me think of something else. You both of you answer this, if you could get your partner to do something thing with you that you know your partner doesn't like. Right, it's not she doesn't usually like to go to I don't know, a hockey match, or he doesn't usually like to go to whatever.
00:39:11
Speaker 2: What is?
00:39:12
Speaker 1: Is there one thing you wish that you could get them on board with doing?
00:39:18
Speaker 2: For me?
00:39:18
Speaker 5: I think you know this one.
00:39:21
Speaker 8: Oh, skydiving. We've discussed this as well.
00:39:28
Speaker 3: Really have you done it before?
00:39:30
Speaker 8: Neither one of us have.
00:39:31
Speaker 1: Done it before. I made the same face you just made when every time she brings it up.
00:39:35
Speaker 2: I want to go skydiving. I want to go I want to do a lot of that stuff that he's not that into.
00:39:41
Speaker 4: He did it, He's done it, and it was amazing. Like I was like, oh my gosh, I want to do this, and then I was like, hell, no, I should do this.
00:39:50
Speaker 5: It's gonna take you to another level.
00:39:53
Speaker 1: So tell you what do you want him to do?
00:39:56
Speaker 3: I think for me it would be more.
00:39:57
Speaker 4: I mean it's just like simple stuff like I wish my husband would like to go shopping, like I love, like buying stuff for the family, clothes like around the house, and he's just never into that stuff. So yeah, simple simple girl stuff like come with stop shoppings together, shops have girlfriends.
00:40:16
Speaker 1: I get it, I get it. He wants her to jump out a plane and she will. Let's go shopping, Let's go to TJ Max.
00:40:23
Speaker 3: So different, simple stuff, simple stuff.
00:40:27
Speaker 8: Oh my goodness, y'all are amazing. What is next for you? Do you all have any couple goals for twenty twenty six?
00:40:35
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:40:36
Speaker 4: I mean so my husband and I have done everything together and now we're doing a business together. So like we have built this pajama brand coordinates, you know, just the two of us like growing this brand, and it's been amazing to do it together because I feel like in the areas that I'm weak, he's strong. So it's been this amazing balance. And so as far as not relationship goal, say necessarily, but just as like our you know, as us as a couple, like continue to figure ot how we can grow this business. We want it to be like a family business and be like a legacy business. So that would be I think one of my primary goals for twenty twenty six, and then I think, like relationship wise, just staying in this space of like honeymooning and growth and you know.
00:41:18
Speaker 3: Like just this pure love that we have for to the right now. We really just want to stay in that space.
00:41:23
Speaker 4: Ah ha ha.
00:41:27
Speaker 3: Don't you even dare?
00:41:28
Speaker 8: You got three boys? You got three boys?
00:41:30
Speaker 2: Right?
00:41:31
Speaker 3: And Amy? Do you know who selects the gender of these children?
00:41:35
Speaker 5: God?
00:41:35
Speaker 8: Yes he does.
00:41:37
Speaker 3: So he had three chances to get a girl.
00:41:40
Speaker 1: You have struck out, so it's okay, done, But skydiving or another baby? Tell me signinga sky diving or another baby? Which one I diving?
00:41:50
Speaker 3: WHOA, Okay, I'm jumping out. I get that.
00:41:56
Speaker 8: It's funny.
00:41:57
Speaker 2: My brother and his wife same thing. He wanted a girl, ended up with three boys. He wanted to keep going. She's like, no, because we'll just end up with the fourth.
00:42:05
Speaker 8: So no, thank you. I totally get that.
00:42:11
Speaker 1: Guys, this was absolutely awesome. And this is why every single couple we talked to last year we finished and we felt better as a couple, or we grew as a couple after we talked to every single couple because we didn't fill alone. You all go into some of the same stuff we're going through, and you all are just a delight. It's good to see people doing so well who have gone through hell and you know it's gonna be okay. We've been through our hell plenty in life and made a bunch of screw ups, but we found each other and here we are and we're happy and we're so glad to be able to talk to you too. Really we need to. We would love to catch up with you all in Atlanta. We come down there quite a bit, so we love to catch up with you.
00:42:49
Speaker 3: Love to love love that.
00:42:50
Speaker 4: Thank you guys for having us like this is a treat, Yeah, because we haven't had like a relationship kind of in a long time.
00:42:58
Speaker 1: Yeah, this is really fun.
00:42:59
Speaker 3: Thanks for thinking.
00:43:00
Speaker 2: I guarantee you anyone who is listening right now feels better about their relationship, feels more hopeful. It is. I mean, I know it's hard to talk about the tough times, but that actually is so helpful to hear. Y'all went through two years of hell and look at you now, So congratulations on all your.
00:43:16
Speaker 8: Success, on your beautiful family that's gonna stay. Three boys, a family of a family of five.
00:43:24
Speaker 4: I mean, you want to.
00:43:26
Speaker 8: The growth is going to be spiritual, not physical.
00:43:33
Speaker 2: Sonya, Richards Ross, Aaron Ross, thank y'all so much and happy Valentine's Day by
00:43:38
Speaker 3: The way, Thank you to you, thank you guys.