Feb. 5, 2026
LOVE STORIES: Jonathan and Harley Knight-Rodriguez, New Kid + Sweet Valley High Star
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RSS Feed Our Love Stories series continues on our countdown to Valentine’s Day with Jonathan and Harley Knight-Rodriguez. The two share a love story that spans music, television, and a grounded life built largely away from the spotlight. Jonathan rose to fame as a founding member of New Kids on the Block. Jonathan met Harley - a former Sweet Valley High actor - in 2008 after a chance night out with mutual friends. Jonathan proposed to Harley in Africa in 2016, and the two quietly married in 2022.
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00:00:04
Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
00:00:14
Speaker 2: Welcome everyone to this episode of Amy and TJ. It's our special Love Stories series and we have the honor of being with Jonathan and Harley Knight Rodriguez. I love a hyphenated last name that speaks to just the union that we are going to be diving into to find all about their beautiful relationship Between Jonathan and Harley and you all. You don't need any introduction because you have been in our lives for oh so long. But thank you both for being with us and for being willing to share all of these private details about your love life. And everyone listening is so appreciative because we're all more connected than we think.
00:01:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is true.
00:01:02
Speaker 2: We all deal with some of the same stuff, don't we, in relationships, So we are asking you the same questions we ask all of our couples. So thank you all for agreeing. You have no idea what we're about to ask you.
00:01:15
Speaker 4: No, no, no, now now, I'm like I'm sweating.
00:01:18
Speaker 3: Now oh boy?
00:01:21
Speaker 5: All right, and we are going to begin with our first question. In five words or less, describe your relationship today.
00:01:34
Speaker 3: Five words?
00:01:34
Speaker 4: Oh, my goodness, amazingly, spectacular, settled.
00:01:48
Speaker 1: It could be five or less happy.
00:01:53
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:01:53
Speaker 4: You know, it's just we're at that point in our age as well as our relationship that you know, it just feels good. It feels we're not in our twenties and thirties and battling all the demons that come along with that.
00:02:08
Speaker 3: Like we're in our fifties.
00:02:10
Speaker 4: We're settled, we're content, we're happy, we're continually building what you know, what we started eighteen years ago.
00:02:19
Speaker 6: So yeah, all right, so let's go back eighteen years. So we do that first. Actually, let me get your five words.
00:02:25
Speaker 7: Oh oh god, I'd say I was gonna say settled as well. Effortless, yeah, content and just growing, growing with each other. Yeah, growth that the end. Love still love.
00:02:47
Speaker 6: So all right, so now let's go back the eighteen you'll said eighteen years. So I'm curious if you all can remember this. Who said I love you first?
00:02:57
Speaker 7: Oh my god, see it's been that Yeah, it's been that long.
00:03:07
Speaker 4: I don't remember, but I would say it would have been him, just because I was like in a period in my life where you know, new kids were.
00:03:16
Speaker 3: Getting back together.
00:03:17
Speaker 4: I was traveling back and forth to LA I was really unsure that this would last, you know, just because of the distance and you know all that, so you you definitely I'll give it to Hardy.
00:03:32
Speaker 7: Well, it took me, yeah, because I was single for such a long time and I was very just afraid to get into another relationship. So I've been single part five years before meeting him, and I was like, I don't want to meet anyone deal.
00:03:45
Speaker 3: My friends had their relationships were you.
00:03:47
Speaker 7: Know, on the rocks, and and then I kind of meet this guy and I was like, oh things have changed. You know. It was very very unexpected, very and in pretty much the line.
00:04:00
Speaker 3: I was very reserved.
00:04:01
Speaker 7: But after a while I would have been the one to say, okay, here, this is it.
00:04:08
Speaker 2: This is Harley. Do you remember the moment. It's funny. I mean, it's you look back eighteen years ago. Do you remember the moment where you said I love you?
00:04:17
Speaker 7: It was it was I remember like the day we met and everything was so I always say, it's one of those things that we never That's why I said effortless at the beginning. It was there was never a point of like, oh does he really like me? Do I like him? So it was just seamless, you know. So There wasn't a significant like I love you, this is it. I think we always already felt in love before saying it, so it wasn't almost necessary.
00:04:51
Speaker 5: But yeah, so it was just confirmation of what you already confirmation.
00:04:57
Speaker 7: I think we were just older too, and in our already had been through relationships and it was again I keep going to effortless, seamless, and yeah, it was just meant to be.
00:05:08
Speaker 6: All right, So we're going to ask you to tap into the memory again because we're going to go back. All right, tellas how long how long did you date before you got engaged? If there was an engagement, how long did you date before you got engaged? How long were you engaged before you got married?
00:05:23
Speaker 3: Wow, date a long time.
00:05:27
Speaker 4: We dated a long time before we go. We got engaged in twenty sixteen, so that was what's that eight years?
00:05:36
Speaker 7: Yeah, so we were long distanced for the longest time, from two thousand and eight all the way up to twenty eighteen. I mean we were going back and forth, you know, New York. Yeah, so it was it was a long process because of our work and we were on opposite sides of the coast, but we Yeah, twenty eleven was when we moved to New York and he was we were going back and forth and then yeah, we've got engage twenty sixteen.
00:06:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's it's just funny that, you know, more than half of our relationship has been not living together. I mean, if it's if, if it's he you know, he was in LA for work and then in New York for work, and I've always had home base here in Boston. This guy, you know, so and then just me traveling for work, you know, so you know, thank goodness for for for patients and trust and understanding that you know this guy has to you know, go through all that. And yeah, it's it's been. It's been quite a journey. And I would say in the beginning I was worried, you know, because a lot of my past relationships they just couldn't deal with it. They were like, what do you mean You're leaving for three months? And then like, you know, calling every day, what are you doing?
00:06:59
Speaker 3: What is the what is that?
00:07:01
Speaker 4: So, you know, just to have somebody that's secure, patient, support of.
00:07:08
Speaker 3: It's been amazing.
00:07:09
Speaker 1: And the engagement was in twenty sixteen. When did you actually get married?
00:07:13
Speaker 3: We actually are not officially officially married. Oh wait, we are married, you know, twenty twenty two.
00:07:21
Speaker 5: We have in our notes that you got married. What's up with that?
00:07:25
Speaker 4: Well, you know, it's all like we we're married, you know, it's just you know, we're married.
00:07:35
Speaker 2: Wait, but can I ask a question because normally we don't ask this when you have heterosexual couples, because I guess maybe wrongly, So we assume the man proposed to the woman. But was there a proposal? And did one of you propose to the other? How did you decide to become fiances? And I guess ultimately yeah, married in air.
00:07:54
Speaker 3: Quotes, you know.
00:07:56
Speaker 4: And that's funny that, you know, as to man in a relationship, Like I think we both of us waited so long because we're like, you know, who.
00:08:07
Speaker 3: Proposes, who does this? Who does? Like there's no real rules.
00:08:11
Speaker 4: And I just got to a point where we took a trip to Africa with our with our moms, and I was like, this is this is the time. So you know, I ran out and got rings and I was just like, screw it, you know, let's just do this.
00:08:29
Speaker 5: Yeah that's very sweet.
00:08:32
Speaker 6: Okay, So now you've been together a long time, so let's for whatever period of time you would consider your marriage or maybe even go through your whole relationship. What segment of it the beginning, maybe you have a specific year, but over a stretch of time, would you go back and you point to like, wow, that was the best time of our relationship and it might be right now, you know what.
00:08:57
Speaker 4: The whole time has been the best, you know, I mean, I think that's what life's all about, if you you know what I mean. We go through some hard times in life and relationships, but personally we've we've never had that. It's just been since day one, just you know, a growing and different stages of our relationship.
00:09:21
Speaker 3: I mean, the first.
00:09:22
Speaker 4: Stage was the long distance and then you know, we spent a lot of years traveling together. And uh when we say we're settled now because we just built a brand new house, uh moved in a couple of months ago.
00:09:37
Speaker 3: So we're you know, we're we're we have roots now.
00:09:41
Speaker 4: So this is just a whole new journey now of of you know, having well we've we've had a lot of homes together.
00:09:49
Speaker 7: But yeah, but this was you know how they say, like building a home, it's almost you get divorced over over these things. But it was you know, we work through it. We respect each other's ideas and stuff. And so this was the house that we just moved to, was built from the ground up. So you know, there was a lot of things that were like I don't like this, I'll but you know, we made it, made it through, you know, and there's so many other things that we've gone through that that it's just a mutual respect and we just well we can get through get through anything.
00:10:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm curious, having spent so much time long distance and now being together. What's harder being a part or constantly being together?
00:10:40
Speaker 3: I hate being a part.
00:10:41
Speaker 4: Like He'll go I go away for months at a time, he goes away for one day and I'm like cry baby, calling him, like, well.
00:10:50
Speaker 7: We get you know, you get into your rituals, you know, your habits of you know, in the morning, you do this that that, you know, take the dog out and.
00:10:58
Speaker 3: So and so.
00:10:59
Speaker 7: When he goes was you know, on tour or something, it's the first few days it's like, oh my god, we're already you know, everything gets scrambled up. But then it's then you settled in. You're like, okay, it's nice to have a little bit of space, you know, a time away from each other and then you come back. So when we were, you know, living apart from each other for such a long time, every time we saw each other it was like a honeymoon. You know, it was like that honeymoon phase every time. So you know, he would come to LA for two three weeks a month and it was just bliss and then leave and so you know, we didn't really fight. Everything was amazing. Yeah, but now we understand each other. We you know, there are times when you know, we we disagree on stuff, but then and then he goes. You know, he's usually outside on the tractor, like for eight hours a day anyway, So we have our space there.
00:11:52
Speaker 6: You know, wow, on the tractor. Didn't know the tractor was just coming into this. That's a different episode.
00:11:59
Speaker 1: We'll have to time.
00:12:01
Speaker 6: We have a question, all right, we're gonna know now switch to now a little segment you kind of tee us up there having to do with fights and disagreements. Every couple deals with it. But we'll start out with the light one. What's the do you have a daily disagreement, a minor little annoyance or something with each other or a disagreement for us, I like sleeping with the TV on. She absolutely hates it. We're not fighting about it every day, But do you have a little thing around that house that you kind of a little annoyance that a daily disagreement?
00:12:30
Speaker 3: Almost? First of all, TV's in the bedroom are the worst get rid of. That is so bad.
00:12:35
Speaker 4: We purposely did not put a TV in our bedroom. I think, I think, I think the only daily annoyance is at nighttime, you know, after you know, we're done working around the farm and we come in light a fire.
00:12:49
Speaker 3: We sit for like an hour trying to decide what to watch.
00:12:52
Speaker 4: And that's that's probably the biggest daily controversy that we have.
00:12:58
Speaker 7: And then I'll call a seve about five minutes into it and it's wide away right in to watch, and I'm just like boom, and then he gets annoyed.
00:13:07
Speaker 3: Now you have to rewind it.
00:13:09
Speaker 7: You'll watch, you know, two episodes of something.
00:13:12
Speaker 3: I have to catch up now.
00:13:13
Speaker 6: Is it because you all can't agree, like you like to watch different things, or it just takes forever to just make a decision.
00:13:20
Speaker 3: No, there's too much on TV now.
00:13:22
Speaker 4: I want to go back to the time when I was eighteen when we had you know, five networks and what was on and now it's just it's too much, it's way too much.
00:13:34
Speaker 5: What do you usually end up watching? Do you have a favorite? I'm just curious.
00:13:39
Speaker 4: Right now, we're watching land Man, which is amazing, but the Morning Show.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: We watch a lot of stuff like true crime.
00:13:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then we like the true crime.
00:13:52
Speaker 3: Oh, the true crime is good as long as as long as they're not a documentary made about me. True crime, Oh.
00:14:01
Speaker 5: God, exactly, exactly. As long as it's not about you, it's all it's all good. I'm curious.
00:14:07
Speaker 2: So how often do you all fight or have just an argument or even a disagreement. It doesn't have to be major, but how often do you squabble?
00:14:19
Speaker 3: So rare?
00:14:20
Speaker 4: And you know, it's funny because when I met him, you know, my past relationships they were.
00:14:25
Speaker 3: Very volatile and we would fight like crazy.
00:14:29
Speaker 4: And met him and he's just so like, you know, whatever, let's talk about it and let's work through it.
00:14:37
Speaker 3: He's so even keeled.
00:14:39
Speaker 4: That when I first met him, I was like, there's something wrong, like this.
00:14:43
Speaker 3: Is not normal. And then you know, you're you know, not.
00:14:48
Speaker 4: Even a few months in I was like, Okay, this is this is what relationships about. You know, you you you have to communicate and you have to be upfront and and express your feelings, but you don't have to do it in a way that is mean or you know, detrimental to your relationship.
00:15:10
Speaker 3: You know, you respect exactly.
00:15:12
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean the only things that we would like maybe just like building the house, like colors and stuff like that, you know what I mean, Like he really wants this, I'm like, eh, I hate it, and vice versa. But then we finally figure something out or we just don't do it and then we'll come back to it later at a later date.
00:15:40
Speaker 6: Now, you all have been together quite a while. Everybody has bumps in the road, But is there ever a time it could have been specific or maybe been over a period of time, that you all actually got close to calling it quits on your relationship.
00:15:54
Speaker 3: We're boring. We are so boring.
00:15:57
Speaker 7: If not, wow, after yeah, it's been eighteen years. And usually they say, you know, like every seven years you get that that, but we've never gotten to. Maybe it is because we have the space. You know, he goes off the tour and we I think maybe if we were together twenty four to seven, for like a whole year, we are parted.
00:16:22
Speaker 3: You know what.
00:16:22
Speaker 4: I know when we lived in Manhattan, we had a seven hundred square foot one bedroom apartment.
00:16:28
Speaker 3: That was tough. That was tough.
00:16:30
Speaker 4: And I think if we stayed in New York in a tiny apartment, like you said, if we're on top of each other every single day, oh, it would be yeah, game.
00:16:39
Speaker 2: On babe, right there, Like wait a minute, I mean, we know it's crazy. We were like for years fighting to just hang with each other and just have a lunch with each other as friends, and now we're like, wow, we are together twenty four seven. So yeah, there are child Yeah that right there.
00:17:00
Speaker 1: Only provacy I got this week is when I took a shower. That was it.
00:17:05
Speaker 5: I mean, he's not even kidding, Like that's it. Manhattan, New York City apartment. There's no outdoor space.
00:17:11
Speaker 2: So yeah, and when it's negative four feels like negative four outside, you ain't going anywhere. All right.
00:17:19
Speaker 6: Let's turn to the household, now, fellas. Some of the chores that people do around the house, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, how do you all divide it up? Who those three main categories who's the Okay, I guess that was either yeah, hand goes up.
00:17:32
Speaker 4: No, Well we agree. I do the outside, he does the inside. So it's you know, and thank goodness he does because I walk in the closet and them t shirts are folded up, just amazing.
00:17:45
Speaker 3: He's obsessed with me.
00:17:47
Speaker 7: He hates the laundry, and I'm like, oh, this is actually yeah, not fun, but Mary's zen for me. I get into it and then he thank god, he has a green thumb. He's you know, like I said before the tractor, he's always, you know, fixing things outside. So I said, I would never be able to touch that. So you deal with that and I'll deal with the inside. So that it works out really well.
00:18:09
Speaker 5: That works so well.
00:18:12
Speaker 2: I love that strategy inside outside, But that works.
00:18:15
Speaker 1: The best and simplest scenario I've heard any couple. I got the outside.
00:18:20
Speaker 5: I love that.
00:18:21
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on date nights? Do you all make or prioritize times where you actually go out and focus on your relationship.
00:18:33
Speaker 7: We haven't done that in a while, especially with a dog. Our son go ahead and get out of here, our needy, our needy dog. But but he's got three But before we would always, you know, we'd go out to dinner and and and that would be like like our date night. We wouldn't we wouldn't set set a certain night, but we would we would go out, you know, in the neighbor would and go to the local restaurant and stuff. But now that we have this one, now we understand, like you know, families with kids, we understand like, oh, date night is seldom. It's very really forced yourself.
00:19:14
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I mean I I you know, we make a point of every night to sit on the couch and spend time together.
00:19:22
Speaker 3: And you know.
00:19:24
Speaker 4: Our other house, we have no TVs, no internet, so we just go there, we light a fire and talk and it's it's so amazing, Like I know, we're just out there and.
00:19:37
Speaker 3: It's just us.
00:19:39
Speaker 2: I love that two people who made their livings and make their livings in the entertainment industry have chosen to have zero entertainment around them when it comes to downtime. I guess that does make sense, because that is kind of like bringing work into your home.
00:19:54
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:19:55
Speaker 4: No, And just nowadays we're just we're bombarded and it's just we need to put that all aside and just really reconnect as humans, and I just I don't think we do that enough, and it's just getting worse.
00:20:09
Speaker 3: And the kids now, I mean, I can't even imagine being a kid now. Like it's just it's too much, too much.
00:20:18
Speaker 2: Now, do you all have any rules in your relationship? Some people like, for instance, one of the rules that you hear all the time is.
00:20:24
Speaker 5: We never go to bed angry.
00:20:26
Speaker 2: Or we never curse when we're upset with each other, or we'll never threaten to leave or end the relationship in an argument. Do you all have any of those types of boundaries or rules in your relationship.
00:20:41
Speaker 7: It's never been a set rule, but it just kind of came naturally where, especially when he's gone out of town or whatever, we call each other's sa good night every single night. There has maybe there's been one because of something that happened, you know, like he was somewhere there was no reception, like on a cruise or something that they do. But but besides that, every single night we'll say good night, I love you, yeah, And so that that's been a constant.
00:21:14
Speaker 6: What do you all think about that idea of some say they refuse to go to bed angry.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: Some therapists will tell you that's a bad idea. What do you all think about it?
00:21:25
Speaker 3: No, I don't think you should go to bed angry.
00:21:27
Speaker 4: I mean, and it's it's just you deal with what's making you angry, you know, talk about it. There's no reason in the world you have to be angry. I mean, life is short, so you know, work it out. Communication is key, and.
00:21:46
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're gonna carry it on the next day. And then it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger, even if it's not. You don't have to say like, oh, I'm sorry and communicate, maybe even just a physical touch before saying you know what, before you know, before you take good night, just a touch or a kiss saying you know it's gonna be okay. You know, it doesn't have to be well for us. It doesn't have to be a big conversation if it's not too big.
00:22:11
Speaker 2: But what I'm just curious because it doesn't sound like you all fight very often, which is pretty awesome, that's remarkable. But if and when you do, what is it typically over? Do you have a theme or something that you go back to, or is it just silly kind of stuff that you can easily let go.
00:22:30
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's it's it's like silly stuff and it's.
00:22:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll be something.
00:22:37
Speaker 7: Let's say he'll leave clothes on the floor instead of the hamper, you know, right, the hamper's right there, all the dirty clothes.
00:22:44
Speaker 3: A wreck.
00:22:45
Speaker 7: So it's like, you know, it's like really it's right there, you know. But stuff like that, it's it's it's stuff that you can get over.
00:22:54
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's tiny little stuff like that. There's quirks, no, and it is pretty amazing.
00:22:59
Speaker 4: And you know, we tell friends and they think we're crazy, but really we don't argue, we don't disagree.
00:23:08
Speaker 3: It's it's really this is a match made in heaven.
00:23:10
Speaker 4: It's been the most amazing eighteen years of being together as a couple, you know, but still having our separate lives and just loving and respecting and understanding each other and working through issues.
00:23:29
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't I don't know.
00:23:32
Speaker 7: It's you would have to like punch me or through me, like like for it to be like all right now.
00:23:38
Speaker 3: It's a fight.
00:23:39
Speaker 1: You know, I think I might know.
00:23:42
Speaker 6: This might this next question that we asked every couple seems silly now they don't have a lot of issues. But what do you all think about the idea of couples therapy and have you all ever gone to it?
00:23:53
Speaker 4: I've gone to a lot of individual therapy, and I think by doing that, I have avoided couple's therapy.
00:24:02
Speaker 5: I think that's amazing.
00:24:04
Speaker 7: Yes, yeah, and I believe in it. Yeah, I mean I think at the very beginning it's probably not necessary. I think, if you if you know the red flags and you know you could deal with all right, this is not the right person, we don't have to really go to therapy just but I think down the line in a relationship, I think definitely, you know, because people do change, they evolve and to different people, and maybe you need a therapist to bring it back.
00:24:35
Speaker 4: And I think you get in a routine where you don't even realize you know your bad behaviors or you know the way you're reacting to your spouse, and then it just escalates and just gets worse and worse. So then, yeah, therapy is good. I think everybody had some therapy.
00:24:56
Speaker 7: Yeah, have you?
00:24:58
Speaker 2: And again, doesn't sound like you all fight off And but have there been any aha moments or any great lessons learned about yourself through having any kind of disagreement with the person who you love, this person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. We often talk about being a mirror, like if you really love someone, you can see yourself in a way you didn't before, when you see yourself reflected from the person you love, especially when things aren't going great. Have you learned any lessons as you all have evolved together?
00:25:33
Speaker 3: We need to start fighting?
00:25:36
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is this is.
00:25:39
Speaker 3: All foreign to me.
00:25:40
Speaker 5: That's amazing.
00:25:44
Speaker 4: Now I'm like, I want to I want to hear the other couples. Yeah, now, any lessons. I mean, I think.
00:25:59
Speaker 3: That this is top.
00:26:00
Speaker 2: But I would say if you had had other it sounds like you, especially Jonathan, may have had other relationships that weren't like the one you have with Harley. Maybe even going through those, what you've learned to appreciate about Harley and about and vice versa Harley, about that, maybe you wouldn't have had you not gone through tougher times in other relationships.
00:26:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you know, I think you know, we're all on a journey in life.
00:26:29
Speaker 3: We all have our own separate journeys.
00:26:33
Speaker 4: Then you put two couples together and you know we are on a journey together, but we're also individuals and we also have, you know, our own journey. If he wants to go to Paris for the week with friends, and I'm kind of like, I don't want to, you know, I'm going to allow him to take the journeys on his life and in the paths and not hold him back and not not hold a grudge or feel left out, you know, And he does the same for me. It's like, you live separate lives, but you also have to live. You you live separate lives, but you also live.
00:27:16
Speaker 3: I hope I'm making sense. You live together. You just have to let your spouse have a life.
00:27:22
Speaker 7: Yeah, And when you're saying about mirroring. One thing I've learned is is sometimes I guess you're you're maturity in a relationship. Sometimes you think like you want to blame the other person for for something, and then and then I have to take a step back and go, this is something that's it's me, not that that person's living their life. So what is it about me that that that's bothering?
00:27:47
Speaker 1: You know?
00:27:47
Speaker 7: I mean I've learned that through not even therapy, but online stuff. Online therapy, I guess the things you hear. So, so I've learned, like, you know, he's doing his thing that shouldn't offend me. What's wrong with the way I'm thinking about it?
00:28:04
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
00:28:04
Speaker 7: Like, so, so I've learned that as we've gone along, something like bothers me. I'm like, no, he's he's just living his life. He's doing the right thing. Something that's wrong with that I have to deal with? So or not deal with?
00:28:18
Speaker 3: Work on?
00:28:28
Speaker 6: Where would you say, what's the role of friendship in your relationship? We always asked she and I were literally best friends for years before we ever started dating. And I know friendships can develop after romantic relationships start, But where where's friendship play into ule's romantic your marriage?
00:28:45
Speaker 1: If you will?
00:28:46
Speaker 7: Yeah, Well, we always say it's funny because the whole best friend thing. We have our our we don't call each other best friends. You know, we're we have we have our relationship, and but we have of our best friends. There's stuff that we don't tell each other that we tell our best friends. You know what I mean, There's there's different we tell each other stuff, but not every single thing. In that it's almost like your parents. Sometimes you're not your best friend with your parents. No, but do you have a role a different role different?
00:29:18
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker 4: Well it's it's like like parents sometimes when they're like, oh, I'm best friends with my kids. No, you are there. You're the parent and they're the kids. You know, I mean with with friendly.
00:29:34
Speaker 1: But did that come out right?
00:29:40
Speaker 5: I love that. That's hilarious.
00:29:42
Speaker 2: And in terms of like time apart, I know, Jonathan, you are about to do a Las Vegas residency right, yes.
00:29:51
Speaker 5: How long is that supposed to last? And how are you all handling that?
00:29:55
Speaker 4: The Vegas residency is super easy. It's better than tour, you know, tour. I'll get on a bus and I won't be home for three months.
00:30:06
Speaker 3: Vegas two weeks in and out when we're done. So, you know, the past couple of years doing Vegas has just been amazing. You know, it's like you're there, then you get to come home.
00:30:19
Speaker 7: And then I'll go out and visit or something for a few days. Yeah, so you don't never go more than a month pretty much when he's on the road or doing something that I'll go out and yeah, it's ever been more than a month.
00:30:32
Speaker 6: So which helps and felts not as a matter of being critical, of any other couple and how they do it. But a lot of people look at successful couples they want to know how they do it, and they also want to know what they're doing wrong. So if you will cam for a moment for couples who are listening, who want a long relationship that doesn't fight, like you will do, what is it you will see in other relationships, maybe one's close to you from a distance, what mistakes do you see other couple making? And you go if they would, just if they would, just do you see kind of a theme these days of relationships that if you could talk to all of them, you would say, hey, guys, be careful of.
00:31:12
Speaker 7: What Yeah, I see in some couples, like I don't know if you'd considered microaggression, but little things that you're a dinner and in one one person will say to the other little like little jabs.
00:31:26
Speaker 3: So those little.
00:31:27
Speaker 7: Jabs like there's something there's truth to that, you know, I would say, either talk it out or just because we respect each each other, you know. So so I think mutual respect, if you can find it in each other, would be really important. I would recommend, But that's just my thing. Some some are not meant to be, you.
00:31:54
Speaker 4: Know, yeah, no, And I mean I think I think communication is a really really big thing. And I think, you know, sometimes couples are afraid to communicate their feelings and they just hold it inside, and then it just builds up. If you can really just express how you feel in the moment or in a situation and just figure.
00:32:17
Speaker 7: It out, yeah, it becomes passive aggressive. Passive aggressive comments are sometimes okay if there's something bigger there going on, you know.
00:32:26
Speaker 1: A lot of times involved.
00:32:28
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:32:31
Speaker 2: No one likes to hang out with the Bickersons, just the little verbal jobs that constantly happen. Do you all make any specific effort to keep the spark alive? Do you have to make any special effort to keep the spark alive?
00:32:46
Speaker 5: After eighteen years.
00:32:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, every every day, every day, I think is every day is a look at this man. Every day is a spark.
00:33:00
Speaker 7: We got, like, we'll go on vacations because you know, sometimes like you need to get away with each other, you know, to get away from the daily thing. So you know, we will try to take trips every you know, a couple of times a year as much as we can. But and I think that that keeps some of it alive, like the mundane, because you get into it, you get to the same rituals, the same you know, patterns. And they were like, all right, we need to get out of here. We need some vacation time. Yeah, so that's a good time that we get away. Things are different and it brings back to us, back to like almost when we were at the beginning, you know, like something new. Seeing new things around us too, keeps.
00:33:48
Speaker 3: Fresh a little short honeymoons.
00:33:50
Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly.
00:33:52
Speaker 5: What would you say?
00:33:54
Speaker 2: This sounds like an obvious generic question, but this will kind of wrap it up with this. People look at a couple like you, and to TJ's point, they were like, we want to know how to be more like you or how to have a relationship like you. What would you say The key is to your relationship magic, your relationship success. Can you sum it up in any way now?
00:34:21
Speaker 3: I still do so?
00:34:23
Speaker 4: No, No, No, I think I think I think we're just both to very laid back people that we don't get rattled much. But also, you know, we make a point of not rattling each other.
00:34:41
Speaker 7: Yeah, I would say, try not to change the other person. That's one thing that a lot of people going into relationship they already have these expectations of this, this and this, and it's it's not it's not real. So for me, it's just you know, not expectations, but not really high ones, and just yeah, get understanding each other and knowing that I'm not going to change them. I love them for who they are. They have their quirks and like, you know, this gets on my nerves. But besides that, it's let them, let them be. I'm gonna be me, He's going to be him.
00:35:20
Speaker 3: And yeah, well, I mean I think that goes back to the whole thing.
00:35:23
Speaker 4: Like we're on a journey as a couple, but we're also on journeys individually.
00:35:27
Speaker 3: So you you know, you have to you have to live your life.
00:35:32
Speaker 1: Well, we you all have made our jobs so easy. We always we have to do it.
00:35:36
Speaker 6: Write up to attack, introduce these This is going to be easy. The most loving and boring couple you will ever hear from. You know, it's cool, Look that's awesome. Look exciting is dangerous. Sometimes boring is great.
00:35:57
Speaker 5: I'm telling you.
00:35:57
Speaker 2: You get like, yes, when you get to a certain age, you're.
00:36:02
Speaker 5: Like, hallelujah, I want peace. I'll take boring.
00:36:07
Speaker 2: I just want Yeah, loving and boring sounds like heaven to me. So I hear you, We hear you. Once you've lived enough life, isn't that like the goal the dream to understand?
00:36:20
Speaker 7: Yes?
00:36:21
Speaker 3: Yes, no, you know, And I look at my life.
00:36:24
Speaker 4: You know, I was thrown into an adult situation at a very young age, and I learned to like navigate the bs and know who's the bs er.
00:36:39
Speaker 3: So yeah, you just I don't know where I'm going with this.
00:36:42
Speaker 7: But when you're younger, yeah, you you want an excitement and this and that and that and yeah, like you're saying, like, no, I want to stay in you.
00:36:51
Speaker 2: Know, don't.
00:36:52
Speaker 7: It's maybe it's an age thing.
00:36:56
Speaker 2: It's like y'all aren't even Netflix and chilling though you're just five place and talking.
00:37:01
Speaker 5: I mean, that's a whole other level. I'm impressed. We're both very impressed. But Jonathan and Harley, thank you so much.
00:37:09
Speaker 2: This, by the way, just seriously, because this is something we really appreciate. We know a lot of people and we understand why don't really want to pull back the curtains into their private lives, into their love lives, because then you open yourself up for scrutiny and people judging. So but it's so helpful to see people who have figured it out and made it work and been in crazy situations and been in the positions you all are in and still found a way to make it work, and so we can all learn from you. And we just appreciate you opening up and being vulnerable and being honest and letting us in.
00:37:46
Speaker 5: So thank you both, and we are.
00:37:48
Speaker 2: So excited to cheer your love on eighteen years in counting, you know, and I.
00:37:54
Speaker 3: Love that, the whole vulnerability thing. I mean, so many, like you said, so many people are so afraid of it.
00:38:01
Speaker 4: Maybe it's just at my age, like I don't care anymore, Like you got to live your life.
00:38:06
Speaker 3: And we're all.
00:38:07
Speaker 4: Human, we all have we all have our things, and you know, just everybody joined together. And if you hear something you know somebody else is going through this, you're like, oh, I went through that, you know. Just be be together, support each other and just know none of us are perfect. We're all just humans on our journey and support that's that's what one.
00:38:33
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:38:35
Speaker 2: Well, Jonathan and Harley Knight Rodriguez, thank you for being with us.
00:38:39
Speaker 5: We appreciate you, guys.
00:38:41
Speaker 7: Thank you, guys, all right, thank you.
00:38:44
Speaker 1: Really, thank you so much for this.
00:38:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, Valentine's this, this is.
00:38:48
Speaker 1: Really really cool you all.
00:38:49
Speaker 6: I think the only other couple it's well, a couple been together longer. We had a couple of all that was married. They've been married seventy five years. He's ninety nine, she's ninety six. So it's cool. It's just such a diversity of couples, and it's the responses are amazing and everybody is gonna feel seen in listening to these. So we are learning a lot from couples because we could always improve our relationship. So trust me, you all said plenty that we can apply to our own relationship. Enough fellas for this, really thank you, thanks, thank you guys.
00:39:19
Speaker 7: All right, all right,
Speaker 1: This is Amy and TJ Love Stories.
00:00:14
Speaker 2: Welcome everyone to this episode of Amy and TJ. It's our special Love Stories series and we have the honor of being with Jonathan and Harley Knight Rodriguez. I love a hyphenated last name that speaks to just the union that we are going to be diving into to find all about their beautiful relationship Between Jonathan and Harley and you all. You don't need any introduction because you have been in our lives for oh so long. But thank you both for being with us and for being willing to share all of these private details about your love life. And everyone listening is so appreciative because we're all more connected than we think.
00:01:00
Speaker 3: Yeah, that is true.
00:01:02
Speaker 2: We all deal with some of the same stuff, don't we, in relationships, So we are asking you the same questions we ask all of our couples. So thank you all for agreeing. You have no idea what we're about to ask you.
00:01:15
Speaker 4: No, no, no, now now, I'm like I'm sweating.
00:01:18
Speaker 3: Now oh boy?
00:01:21
Speaker 5: All right, and we are going to begin with our first question. In five words or less, describe your relationship today.
00:01:34
Speaker 3: Five words?
00:01:34
Speaker 4: Oh, my goodness, amazingly, spectacular, settled.
00:01:48
Speaker 1: It could be five or less happy.
00:01:53
Speaker 3: I don't know.
00:01:53
Speaker 4: You know, it's just we're at that point in our age as well as our relationship that you know, it just feels good. It feels we're not in our twenties and thirties and battling all the demons that come along with that.
00:02:08
Speaker 3: Like we're in our fifties.
00:02:10
Speaker 4: We're settled, we're content, we're happy, we're continually building what you know, what we started eighteen years ago.
00:02:19
Speaker 6: So yeah, all right, so let's go back eighteen years. So we do that first. Actually, let me get your five words.
00:02:25
Speaker 7: Oh oh god, I'd say I was gonna say settled as well. Effortless, yeah, content and just growing, growing with each other. Yeah, growth that the end. Love still love.
00:02:47
Speaker 6: So all right, so now let's go back the eighteen you'll said eighteen years. So I'm curious if you all can remember this. Who said I love you first?
00:02:57
Speaker 7: Oh my god, see it's been that Yeah, it's been that long.
00:03:07
Speaker 4: I don't remember, but I would say it would have been him, just because I was like in a period in my life where you know, new kids were.
00:03:16
Speaker 3: Getting back together.
00:03:17
Speaker 4: I was traveling back and forth to LA I was really unsure that this would last, you know, just because of the distance and you know all that, so you you definitely I'll give it to Hardy.
00:03:32
Speaker 7: Well, it took me, yeah, because I was single for such a long time and I was very just afraid to get into another relationship. So I've been single part five years before meeting him, and I was like, I don't want to meet anyone deal.
00:03:45
Speaker 3: My friends had their relationships were you.
00:03:47
Speaker 7: Know, on the rocks, and and then I kind of meet this guy and I was like, oh things have changed. You know. It was very very unexpected, very and in pretty much the line.
00:04:00
Speaker 3: I was very reserved.
00:04:01
Speaker 7: But after a while I would have been the one to say, okay, here, this is it.
00:04:08
Speaker 2: This is Harley. Do you remember the moment. It's funny. I mean, it's you look back eighteen years ago. Do you remember the moment where you said I love you?
00:04:17
Speaker 7: It was it was I remember like the day we met and everything was so I always say, it's one of those things that we never That's why I said effortless at the beginning. It was there was never a point of like, oh does he really like me? Do I like him? So it was just seamless, you know. So There wasn't a significant like I love you, this is it. I think we always already felt in love before saying it, so it wasn't almost necessary.
00:04:51
Speaker 5: But yeah, so it was just confirmation of what you already confirmation.
00:04:57
Speaker 7: I think we were just older too, and in our already had been through relationships and it was again I keep going to effortless, seamless, and yeah, it was just meant to be.
00:05:08
Speaker 6: All right, So we're going to ask you to tap into the memory again because we're going to go back. All right, tellas how long how long did you date before you got engaged? If there was an engagement, how long did you date before you got engaged? How long were you engaged before you got married?
00:05:23
Speaker 3: Wow, date a long time.
00:05:27
Speaker 4: We dated a long time before we go. We got engaged in twenty sixteen, so that was what's that eight years?
00:05:36
Speaker 7: Yeah, so we were long distanced for the longest time, from two thousand and eight all the way up to twenty eighteen. I mean we were going back and forth, you know, New York. Yeah, so it was it was a long process because of our work and we were on opposite sides of the coast, but we Yeah, twenty eleven was when we moved to New York and he was we were going back and forth and then yeah, we've got engage twenty sixteen.
00:06:08
Speaker 4: Yeah, and it's it's just funny that, you know, more than half of our relationship has been not living together. I mean, if it's if, if it's he you know, he was in LA for work and then in New York for work, and I've always had home base here in Boston. This guy, you know, so and then just me traveling for work, you know, so you know, thank goodness for for for patients and trust and understanding that you know this guy has to you know, go through all that. And yeah, it's it's been. It's been quite a journey. And I would say in the beginning I was worried, you know, because a lot of my past relationships they just couldn't deal with it. They were like, what do you mean You're leaving for three months? And then like, you know, calling every day, what are you doing?
00:06:59
Speaker 3: What is the what is that?
00:07:01
Speaker 4: So, you know, just to have somebody that's secure, patient, support of.
00:07:08
Speaker 3: It's been amazing.
00:07:09
Speaker 1: And the engagement was in twenty sixteen. When did you actually get married?
00:07:13
Speaker 3: We actually are not officially officially married. Oh wait, we are married, you know, twenty twenty two.
00:07:21
Speaker 5: We have in our notes that you got married. What's up with that?
00:07:25
Speaker 4: Well, you know, it's all like we we're married, you know, it's just you know, we're married.
00:07:35
Speaker 2: Wait, but can I ask a question because normally we don't ask this when you have heterosexual couples, because I guess maybe wrongly, So we assume the man proposed to the woman. But was there a proposal? And did one of you propose to the other? How did you decide to become fiances? And I guess ultimately yeah, married in air.
00:07:54
Speaker 3: Quotes, you know.
00:07:56
Speaker 4: And that's funny that, you know, as to man in a relationship, Like I think we both of us waited so long because we're like, you know, who.
00:08:07
Speaker 3: Proposes, who does this? Who does? Like there's no real rules.
00:08:11
Speaker 4: And I just got to a point where we took a trip to Africa with our with our moms, and I was like, this is this is the time. So you know, I ran out and got rings and I was just like, screw it, you know, let's just do this.
00:08:29
Speaker 5: Yeah that's very sweet.
00:08:32
Speaker 6: Okay, So now you've been together a long time, so let's for whatever period of time you would consider your marriage or maybe even go through your whole relationship. What segment of it the beginning, maybe you have a specific year, but over a stretch of time, would you go back and you point to like, wow, that was the best time of our relationship and it might be right now, you know what.
00:08:57
Speaker 4: The whole time has been the best, you know, I mean, I think that's what life's all about, if you you know what I mean. We go through some hard times in life and relationships, but personally we've we've never had that. It's just been since day one, just you know, a growing and different stages of our relationship.
00:09:21
Speaker 3: I mean, the first.
00:09:22
Speaker 4: Stage was the long distance and then you know, we spent a lot of years traveling together. And uh when we say we're settled now because we just built a brand new house, uh moved in a couple of months ago.
00:09:37
Speaker 3: So we're you know, we're we're we have roots now.
00:09:41
Speaker 4: So this is just a whole new journey now of of you know, having well we've we've had a lot of homes together.
00:09:49
Speaker 7: But yeah, but this was you know how they say, like building a home, it's almost you get divorced over over these things. But it was you know, we work through it. We respect each other's ideas and stuff. And so this was the house that we just moved to, was built from the ground up. So you know, there was a lot of things that were like I don't like this, I'll but you know, we made it, made it through, you know, and there's so many other things that we've gone through that that it's just a mutual respect and we just well we can get through get through anything.
00:10:24
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm curious, having spent so much time long distance and now being together. What's harder being a part or constantly being together?
00:10:40
Speaker 3: I hate being a part.
00:10:41
Speaker 4: Like He'll go I go away for months at a time, he goes away for one day and I'm like cry baby, calling him, like, well.
00:10:50
Speaker 7: We get you know, you get into your rituals, you know, your habits of you know, in the morning, you do this that that, you know, take the dog out and.
00:10:58
Speaker 3: So and so.
00:10:59
Speaker 7: When he goes was you know, on tour or something, it's the first few days it's like, oh my god, we're already you know, everything gets scrambled up. But then it's then you settled in. You're like, okay, it's nice to have a little bit of space, you know, a time away from each other and then you come back. So when we were, you know, living apart from each other for such a long time, every time we saw each other it was like a honeymoon. You know, it was like that honeymoon phase every time. So you know, he would come to LA for two three weeks a month and it was just bliss and then leave and so you know, we didn't really fight. Everything was amazing. Yeah, but now we understand each other. We you know, there are times when you know, we we disagree on stuff, but then and then he goes. You know, he's usually outside on the tractor, like for eight hours a day anyway, So we have our space there.
00:11:52
Speaker 6: You know, wow, on the tractor. Didn't know the tractor was just coming into this. That's a different episode.
00:11:59
Speaker 1: We'll have to time.
00:12:01
Speaker 6: We have a question, all right, we're gonna know now switch to now a little segment you kind of tee us up there having to do with fights and disagreements. Every couple deals with it. But we'll start out with the light one. What's the do you have a daily disagreement, a minor little annoyance or something with each other or a disagreement for us, I like sleeping with the TV on. She absolutely hates it. We're not fighting about it every day, But do you have a little thing around that house that you kind of a little annoyance that a daily disagreement?
00:12:30
Speaker 3: Almost? First of all, TV's in the bedroom are the worst get rid of. That is so bad.
00:12:35
Speaker 4: We purposely did not put a TV in our bedroom. I think, I think, I think the only daily annoyance is at nighttime, you know, after you know, we're done working around the farm and we come in light a fire.
00:12:49
Speaker 3: We sit for like an hour trying to decide what to watch.
00:12:52
Speaker 4: And that's that's probably the biggest daily controversy that we have.
00:12:58
Speaker 7: And then I'll call a seve about five minutes into it and it's wide away right in to watch, and I'm just like boom, and then he gets annoyed.
00:13:07
Speaker 3: Now you have to rewind it.
00:13:09
Speaker 7: You'll watch, you know, two episodes of something.
00:13:12
Speaker 3: I have to catch up now.
00:13:13
Speaker 6: Is it because you all can't agree, like you like to watch different things, or it just takes forever to just make a decision.
00:13:20
Speaker 3: No, there's too much on TV now.
00:13:22
Speaker 4: I want to go back to the time when I was eighteen when we had you know, five networks and what was on and now it's just it's too much, it's way too much.
00:13:34
Speaker 5: What do you usually end up watching? Do you have a favorite? I'm just curious.
00:13:39
Speaker 4: Right now, we're watching land Man, which is amazing, but the Morning Show.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: We watch a lot of stuff like true crime.
00:13:50
Speaker 5: Yeah, and then we like the true crime.
00:13:52
Speaker 3: Oh, the true crime is good as long as as long as they're not a documentary made about me. True crime, Oh.
00:14:01
Speaker 5: God, exactly, exactly. As long as it's not about you, it's all it's all good. I'm curious.
00:14:07
Speaker 2: So how often do you all fight or have just an argument or even a disagreement. It doesn't have to be major, but how often do you squabble?
00:14:19
Speaker 3: So rare?
00:14:20
Speaker 4: And you know, it's funny because when I met him, you know, my past relationships they were.
00:14:25
Speaker 3: Very volatile and we would fight like crazy.
00:14:29
Speaker 4: And met him and he's just so like, you know, whatever, let's talk about it and let's work through it.
00:14:37
Speaker 3: He's so even keeled.
00:14:39
Speaker 4: That when I first met him, I was like, there's something wrong, like this.
00:14:43
Speaker 3: Is not normal. And then you know, you're you know, not.
00:14:48
Speaker 4: Even a few months in I was like, Okay, this is this is what relationships about. You know, you you you have to communicate and you have to be upfront and and express your feelings, but you don't have to do it in a way that is mean or you know, detrimental to your relationship.
00:15:10
Speaker 3: You know, you respect exactly.
00:15:12
Speaker 7: Yeah, I mean the only things that we would like maybe just like building the house, like colors and stuff like that, you know what I mean, Like he really wants this, I'm like, eh, I hate it, and vice versa. But then we finally figure something out or we just don't do it and then we'll come back to it later at a later date.
00:15:40
Speaker 6: Now, you all have been together quite a while. Everybody has bumps in the road, But is there ever a time it could have been specific or maybe been over a period of time, that you all actually got close to calling it quits on your relationship.
00:15:54
Speaker 3: We're boring. We are so boring.
00:15:57
Speaker 7: If not, wow, after yeah, it's been eighteen years. And usually they say, you know, like every seven years you get that that, but we've never gotten to. Maybe it is because we have the space. You know, he goes off the tour and we I think maybe if we were together twenty four to seven, for like a whole year, we are parted.
00:16:22
Speaker 3: You know what.
00:16:22
Speaker 4: I know when we lived in Manhattan, we had a seven hundred square foot one bedroom apartment.
00:16:28
Speaker 3: That was tough. That was tough.
00:16:30
Speaker 4: And I think if we stayed in New York in a tiny apartment, like you said, if we're on top of each other every single day, oh, it would be yeah, game.
00:16:39
Speaker 2: On babe, right there, Like wait a minute, I mean, we know it's crazy. We were like for years fighting to just hang with each other and just have a lunch with each other as friends, and now we're like, wow, we are together twenty four seven. So yeah, there are child Yeah that right there.
00:17:00
Speaker 1: Only provacy I got this week is when I took a shower. That was it.
00:17:05
Speaker 5: I mean, he's not even kidding, Like that's it. Manhattan, New York City apartment. There's no outdoor space.
00:17:11
Speaker 2: So yeah, and when it's negative four feels like negative four outside, you ain't going anywhere. All right.
00:17:19
Speaker 6: Let's turn to the household, now, fellas. Some of the chores that people do around the house, the cooking, the cleaning, the laundry, how do you all divide it up? Who those three main categories who's the Okay, I guess that was either yeah, hand goes up.
00:17:32
Speaker 4: No, Well we agree. I do the outside, he does the inside. So it's you know, and thank goodness he does because I walk in the closet and them t shirts are folded up, just amazing.
00:17:45
Speaker 3: He's obsessed with me.
00:17:47
Speaker 7: He hates the laundry, and I'm like, oh, this is actually yeah, not fun, but Mary's zen for me. I get into it and then he thank god, he has a green thumb. He's you know, like I said before the tractor, he's always, you know, fixing things outside. So I said, I would never be able to touch that. So you deal with that and I'll deal with the inside. So that it works out really well.
00:18:09
Speaker 5: That works so well.
00:18:12
Speaker 2: I love that strategy inside outside, But that works.
00:18:15
Speaker 1: The best and simplest scenario I've heard any couple. I got the outside.
00:18:20
Speaker 5: I love that.
00:18:21
Speaker 2: What are your thoughts on date nights? Do you all make or prioritize times where you actually go out and focus on your relationship.
00:18:33
Speaker 7: We haven't done that in a while, especially with a dog. Our son go ahead and get out of here, our needy, our needy dog. But but he's got three But before we would always, you know, we'd go out to dinner and and and that would be like like our date night. We wouldn't we wouldn't set set a certain night, but we would we would go out, you know, in the neighbor would and go to the local restaurant and stuff. But now that we have this one, now we understand, like you know, families with kids, we understand like, oh, date night is seldom. It's very really forced yourself.
00:19:14
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I mean I I you know, we make a point of every night to sit on the couch and spend time together.
00:19:22
Speaker 3: And you know.
00:19:24
Speaker 4: Our other house, we have no TVs, no internet, so we just go there, we light a fire and talk and it's it's so amazing, Like I know, we're just out there and.
00:19:37
Speaker 3: It's just us.
00:19:39
Speaker 2: I love that two people who made their livings and make their livings in the entertainment industry have chosen to have zero entertainment around them when it comes to downtime. I guess that does make sense, because that is kind of like bringing work into your home.
00:19:54
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:19:55
Speaker 4: No, And just nowadays we're just we're bombarded and it's just we need to put that all aside and just really reconnect as humans, and I just I don't think we do that enough, and it's just getting worse.
00:20:09
Speaker 3: And the kids now, I mean, I can't even imagine being a kid now. Like it's just it's too much, too much.
00:20:18
Speaker 2: Now, do you all have any rules in your relationship? Some people like, for instance, one of the rules that you hear all the time is.
00:20:24
Speaker 5: We never go to bed angry.
00:20:26
Speaker 2: Or we never curse when we're upset with each other, or we'll never threaten to leave or end the relationship in an argument. Do you all have any of those types of boundaries or rules in your relationship.
00:20:41
Speaker 7: It's never been a set rule, but it just kind of came naturally where, especially when he's gone out of town or whatever, we call each other's sa good night every single night. There has maybe there's been one because of something that happened, you know, like he was somewhere there was no reception, like on a cruise or something that they do. But but besides that, every single night we'll say good night, I love you, yeah, And so that that's been a constant.
00:21:14
Speaker 6: What do you all think about that idea of some say they refuse to go to bed angry.
00:21:20
Speaker 1: Some therapists will tell you that's a bad idea. What do you all think about it?
00:21:25
Speaker 3: No, I don't think you should go to bed angry.
00:21:27
Speaker 4: I mean, and it's it's just you deal with what's making you angry, you know, talk about it. There's no reason in the world you have to be angry. I mean, life is short, so you know, work it out. Communication is key, and.
00:21:46
Speaker 7: Yeah, you're gonna carry it on the next day. And then it just keeps getting bigger and bigger and bigger, even if it's not. You don't have to say like, oh, I'm sorry and communicate, maybe even just a physical touch before saying you know what, before you know, before you take good night, just a touch or a kiss saying you know it's gonna be okay. You know, it doesn't have to be well for us. It doesn't have to be a big conversation if it's not too big.
00:22:11
Speaker 2: But what I'm just curious because it doesn't sound like you all fight very often, which is pretty awesome, that's remarkable. But if and when you do, what is it typically over? Do you have a theme or something that you go back to, or is it just silly kind of stuff that you can easily let go.
00:22:30
Speaker 7: Yeah, it's it's it's like silly stuff and it's.
00:22:35
Speaker 3: Yeah, it'll be something.
00:22:37
Speaker 7: Let's say he'll leave clothes on the floor instead of the hamper, you know, right, the hamper's right there, all the dirty clothes.
00:22:44
Speaker 3: A wreck.
00:22:45
Speaker 7: So it's like, you know, it's like really it's right there, you know. But stuff like that, it's it's it's stuff that you can get over.
00:22:54
Speaker 3: But yeah, it's tiny little stuff like that. There's quirks, no, and it is pretty amazing.
00:22:59
Speaker 4: And you know, we tell friends and they think we're crazy, but really we don't argue, we don't disagree.
00:23:08
Speaker 3: It's it's really this is a match made in heaven.
00:23:10
Speaker 4: It's been the most amazing eighteen years of being together as a couple, you know, but still having our separate lives and just loving and respecting and understanding each other and working through issues.
00:23:29
Speaker 3: I mean, I don't I don't know.
00:23:32
Speaker 7: It's you would have to like punch me or through me, like like for it to be like all right now.
00:23:38
Speaker 3: It's a fight.
00:23:39
Speaker 1: You know, I think I might know.
00:23:42
Speaker 6: This might this next question that we asked every couple seems silly now they don't have a lot of issues. But what do you all think about the idea of couples therapy and have you all ever gone to it?
00:23:53
Speaker 4: I've gone to a lot of individual therapy, and I think by doing that, I have avoided couple's therapy.
00:24:02
Speaker 5: I think that's amazing.
00:24:04
Speaker 7: Yes, yeah, and I believe in it. Yeah, I mean I think at the very beginning it's probably not necessary. I think, if you if you know the red flags and you know you could deal with all right, this is not the right person, we don't have to really go to therapy just but I think down the line in a relationship, I think definitely, you know, because people do change, they evolve and to different people, and maybe you need a therapist to bring it back.
00:24:35
Speaker 4: And I think you get in a routine where you don't even realize you know your bad behaviors or you know the way you're reacting to your spouse, and then it just escalates and just gets worse and worse. So then, yeah, therapy is good. I think everybody had some therapy.
00:24:56
Speaker 7: Yeah, have you?
00:24:58
Speaker 2: And again, doesn't sound like you all fight off And but have there been any aha moments or any great lessons learned about yourself through having any kind of disagreement with the person who you love, this person who you want to spend the rest of your life with. We often talk about being a mirror, like if you really love someone, you can see yourself in a way you didn't before, when you see yourself reflected from the person you love, especially when things aren't going great. Have you learned any lessons as you all have evolved together?
00:25:33
Speaker 3: We need to start fighting?
00:25:36
Speaker 7: Yeah, this is this is.
00:25:39
Speaker 3: All foreign to me.
00:25:40
Speaker 5: That's amazing.
00:25:44
Speaker 4: Now I'm like, I want to I want to hear the other couples. Yeah, now, any lessons. I mean, I think.
00:25:59
Speaker 3: That this is top.
00:26:00
Speaker 2: But I would say if you had had other it sounds like you, especially Jonathan, may have had other relationships that weren't like the one you have with Harley. Maybe even going through those, what you've learned to appreciate about Harley and about and vice versa Harley, about that, maybe you wouldn't have had you not gone through tougher times in other relationships.
00:26:24
Speaker 4: Yeah, well, you know, I think you know, we're all on a journey in life.
00:26:29
Speaker 3: We all have our own separate journeys.
00:26:33
Speaker 4: Then you put two couples together and you know we are on a journey together, but we're also individuals and we also have, you know, our own journey. If he wants to go to Paris for the week with friends, and I'm kind of like, I don't want to, you know, I'm going to allow him to take the journeys on his life and in the paths and not hold him back and not not hold a grudge or feel left out, you know, And he does the same for me. It's like, you live separate lives, but you also have to live. You you live separate lives, but you also live.
00:27:16
Speaker 3: I hope I'm making sense. You live together. You just have to let your spouse have a life.
00:27:22
Speaker 7: Yeah, And when you're saying about mirroring. One thing I've learned is is sometimes I guess you're you're maturity in a relationship. Sometimes you think like you want to blame the other person for for something, and then and then I have to take a step back and go, this is something that's it's me, not that that person's living their life. So what is it about me that that that's bothering?
00:27:47
Speaker 1: You know?
00:27:47
Speaker 7: I mean I've learned that through not even therapy, but online stuff. Online therapy, I guess the things you hear. So, so I've learned, like, you know, he's doing his thing that shouldn't offend me. What's wrong with the way I'm thinking about it?
00:28:04
Speaker 3: You know what I mean?
00:28:04
Speaker 7: Like, so, so I've learned that as we've gone along, something like bothers me. I'm like, no, he's he's just living his life. He's doing the right thing. Something that's wrong with that I have to deal with? So or not deal with?
00:28:18
Speaker 3: Work on?
00:28:28
Speaker 6: Where would you say, what's the role of friendship in your relationship? We always asked she and I were literally best friends for years before we ever started dating. And I know friendships can develop after romantic relationships start, But where where's friendship play into ule's romantic your marriage?
00:28:45
Speaker 1: If you will?
00:28:46
Speaker 7: Yeah, Well, we always say it's funny because the whole best friend thing. We have our our we don't call each other best friends. You know, we're we have we have our relationship, and but we have of our best friends. There's stuff that we don't tell each other that we tell our best friends. You know what I mean, There's there's different we tell each other stuff, but not every single thing. In that it's almost like your parents. Sometimes you're not your best friend with your parents. No, but do you have a role a different role different?
00:29:18
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:29:19
Speaker 4: Well it's it's like like parents sometimes when they're like, oh, I'm best friends with my kids. No, you are there. You're the parent and they're the kids. You know, I mean with with friendly.
00:29:34
Speaker 1: But did that come out right?
00:29:40
Speaker 5: I love that. That's hilarious.
00:29:42
Speaker 2: And in terms of like time apart, I know, Jonathan, you are about to do a Las Vegas residency right, yes.
00:29:51
Speaker 5: How long is that supposed to last? And how are you all handling that?
00:29:55
Speaker 4: The Vegas residency is super easy. It's better than tour, you know, tour. I'll get on a bus and I won't be home for three months.
00:30:06
Speaker 3: Vegas two weeks in and out when we're done. So, you know, the past couple of years doing Vegas has just been amazing. You know, it's like you're there, then you get to come home.
00:30:19
Speaker 7: And then I'll go out and visit or something for a few days. Yeah, so you don't never go more than a month pretty much when he's on the road or doing something that I'll go out and yeah, it's ever been more than a month.
00:30:32
Speaker 6: So which helps and felts not as a matter of being critical, of any other couple and how they do it. But a lot of people look at successful couples they want to know how they do it, and they also want to know what they're doing wrong. So if you will cam for a moment for couples who are listening, who want a long relationship that doesn't fight, like you will do, what is it you will see in other relationships, maybe one's close to you from a distance, what mistakes do you see other couple making? And you go if they would, just if they would, just do you see kind of a theme these days of relationships that if you could talk to all of them, you would say, hey, guys, be careful of.
00:31:12
Speaker 7: What Yeah, I see in some couples, like I don't know if you'd considered microaggression, but little things that you're a dinner and in one one person will say to the other little like little jabs.
00:31:26
Speaker 3: So those little.
00:31:27
Speaker 7: Jabs like there's something there's truth to that, you know, I would say, either talk it out or just because we respect each each other, you know. So so I think mutual respect, if you can find it in each other, would be really important. I would recommend, But that's just my thing. Some some are not meant to be, you.
00:31:54
Speaker 4: Know, yeah, no, And I mean I think I think communication is a really really big thing. And I think, you know, sometimes couples are afraid to communicate their feelings and they just hold it inside, and then it just builds up. If you can really just express how you feel in the moment or in a situation and just figure.
00:32:17
Speaker 7: It out, yeah, it becomes passive aggressive. Passive aggressive comments are sometimes okay if there's something bigger there going on, you know.
00:32:26
Speaker 1: A lot of times involved.
00:32:28
Speaker 7: Yeah, yeah, exactly.
00:32:31
Speaker 2: No one likes to hang out with the Bickersons, just the little verbal jobs that constantly happen. Do you all make any specific effort to keep the spark alive? Do you have to make any special effort to keep the spark alive?
00:32:46
Speaker 5: After eighteen years.
00:32:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean, every every day, every day, I think is every day is a look at this man. Every day is a spark.
00:33:00
Speaker 7: We got, like, we'll go on vacations because you know, sometimes like you need to get away with each other, you know, to get away from the daily thing. So you know, we will try to take trips every you know, a couple of times a year as much as we can. But and I think that that keeps some of it alive, like the mundane, because you get into it, you get to the same rituals, the same you know, patterns. And they were like, all right, we need to get out of here. We need some vacation time. Yeah, so that's a good time that we get away. Things are different and it brings back to us, back to like almost when we were at the beginning, you know, like something new. Seeing new things around us too, keeps.
00:33:48
Speaker 3: Fresh a little short honeymoons.
00:33:50
Speaker 7: Yeah, exactly.
00:33:52
Speaker 5: What would you say?
00:33:54
Speaker 2: This sounds like an obvious generic question, but this will kind of wrap it up with this. People look at a couple like you, and to TJ's point, they were like, we want to know how to be more like you or how to have a relationship like you. What would you say The key is to your relationship magic, your relationship success. Can you sum it up in any way now?
00:34:21
Speaker 3: I still do so?
00:34:23
Speaker 4: No, No, No, I think I think I think we're just both to very laid back people that we don't get rattled much. But also, you know, we make a point of not rattling each other.
00:34:41
Speaker 7: Yeah, I would say, try not to change the other person. That's one thing that a lot of people going into relationship they already have these expectations of this, this and this, and it's it's not it's not real. So for me, it's just you know, not expectations, but not really high ones, and just yeah, get understanding each other and knowing that I'm not going to change them. I love them for who they are. They have their quirks and like, you know, this gets on my nerves. But besides that, it's let them, let them be. I'm gonna be me, He's going to be him.
00:35:20
Speaker 3: And yeah, well, I mean I think that goes back to the whole thing.
00:35:23
Speaker 4: Like we're on a journey as a couple, but we're also on journeys individually.
00:35:27
Speaker 3: So you you know, you have to you have to live your life.
00:35:32
Speaker 1: Well, we you all have made our jobs so easy. We always we have to do it.
00:35:36
Speaker 6: Write up to attack, introduce these This is going to be easy. The most loving and boring couple you will ever hear from. You know, it's cool, Look that's awesome. Look exciting is dangerous. Sometimes boring is great.
00:35:57
Speaker 5: I'm telling you.
00:35:57
Speaker 2: You get like, yes, when you get to a certain age, you're.
00:36:02
Speaker 5: Like, hallelujah, I want peace. I'll take boring.
00:36:07
Speaker 2: I just want Yeah, loving and boring sounds like heaven to me. So I hear you, We hear you. Once you've lived enough life, isn't that like the goal the dream to understand?
00:36:20
Speaker 7: Yes?
00:36:21
Speaker 3: Yes, no, you know, And I look at my life.
00:36:24
Speaker 4: You know, I was thrown into an adult situation at a very young age, and I learned to like navigate the bs and know who's the bs er.
00:36:39
Speaker 3: So yeah, you just I don't know where I'm going with this.
00:36:42
Speaker 7: But when you're younger, yeah, you you want an excitement and this and that and that and yeah, like you're saying, like, no, I want to stay in you.
00:36:51
Speaker 2: Know, don't.
00:36:52
Speaker 7: It's maybe it's an age thing.
00:36:56
Speaker 2: It's like y'all aren't even Netflix and chilling though you're just five place and talking.
00:37:01
Speaker 5: I mean, that's a whole other level. I'm impressed. We're both very impressed. But Jonathan and Harley, thank you so much.
00:37:09
Speaker 2: This, by the way, just seriously, because this is something we really appreciate. We know a lot of people and we understand why don't really want to pull back the curtains into their private lives, into their love lives, because then you open yourself up for scrutiny and people judging. So but it's so helpful to see people who have figured it out and made it work and been in crazy situations and been in the positions you all are in and still found a way to make it work, and so we can all learn from you. And we just appreciate you opening up and being vulnerable and being honest and letting us in.
00:37:46
Speaker 5: So thank you both, and we are.
00:37:48
Speaker 2: So excited to cheer your love on eighteen years in counting, you know, and I.
00:37:54
Speaker 3: Love that, the whole vulnerability thing. I mean, so many, like you said, so many people are so afraid of it.
00:38:01
Speaker 4: Maybe it's just at my age, like I don't care anymore, Like you got to live your life.
00:38:06
Speaker 3: And we're all.
00:38:07
Speaker 4: Human, we all have we all have our things, and you know, just everybody joined together. And if you hear something you know somebody else is going through this, you're like, oh, I went through that, you know. Just be be together, support each other and just know none of us are perfect. We're all just humans on our journey and support that's that's what one.
00:38:33
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:38:35
Speaker 2: Well, Jonathan and Harley Knight Rodriguez, thank you for being with us.
00:38:39
Speaker 5: We appreciate you, guys.
00:38:41
Speaker 7: Thank you, guys, all right, thank you.
00:38:44
Speaker 1: Really, thank you so much for this.
00:38:46
Speaker 3: Yeah, Valentine's this, this is.
00:38:48
Speaker 1: Really really cool you all.
00:38:49
Speaker 6: I think the only other couple it's well, a couple been together longer. We had a couple of all that was married. They've been married seventy five years. He's ninety nine, she's ninety six. So it's cool. It's just such a diversity of couples, and it's the responses are amazing and everybody is gonna feel seen in listening to these. So we are learning a lot from couples because we could always improve our relationship. So trust me, you all said plenty that we can apply to our own relationship. Enough fellas for this, really thank you, thanks, thank you guys.
00:39:19
Speaker 7: All right, all right,