June 27, 2026
'Love Island' Love Lessons: Why Nice Guys Finished Last #Carl
Apple Podcasts 
Spotify 
Castro 
RSS Feed During last night’s recoupling, we saw the girls each praise the Casa Amor man they coupled up with, some even saying they were the “perfect man.” Then we heard Melanie, Kayda and Aniya all criticize the boy they had been coupled up with, talking about the hurt and distrust they felt for them. But when decision time came, they all dumped the nice guys, the men who they said all made them feel seen and validated. Amy and T.J. talk about why it seems, nice guys always finish last.
Stay tuned for our next episode, where T.J. explains why K.C. dumped sweet Aniya for Titi.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey, that folks did is Saturday, June twenty seventh, and why.
00:00:07
Speaker 2: Do good guys finish last?
00:00:10
Speaker 1: We're looking at you, Carl, but we're asking you Amy Robots and with that, welcome to this Love Island love lesson edition of Amy and TJ.
00:00:21
Speaker 2: Did we see this play out dud?
00:00:23
Speaker 1: Did that come to mind as we watched the episode and you saw Carl not get chosen by Anaya instead wanted to stick with a guy who's had some questionable behavior. Did that phrase come to mind?
00:00:35
Speaker 3: Yes, this is the age old question that I think a lot of nice guys ask why the nice guy's always finish last?
00:00:43
Speaker 4: And hashtag Carl.
00:00:45
Speaker 3: I mean, Carl was trending on X all night long because yeah, he was in a lot of ways comedic relief, but also you felt for him. He's such a good guy that even when he got rejected, he was feeling for Anaya and telling her it was gonna be okay. He recognized pretty quickly, I think that he wasn't going to be her choice when she started praising him, which I know might seem counterintuitive. You're such a nice guy, You're the perfect man. You're everything I dreamed of you check every box. How many of those women said that to the kasa amor guys last night while they were rejecting them.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: Okay, right off the top, Why in your opinion did Anaya not pick.
00:01:29
Speaker 3: Karl because she wasn't sexually attracted to him or physically. It wasn't that he isn't good looking. He's an attractive man. He has a great body, he has a strong jawline. But he doesn't have charisma, he doesn't have swagger, he doesn't have that genesequa that women get drawn to. That yeah, that bad boy energy. He's the opposite of that.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: So in this respect, okay, I'm just gonna talk to you now, I got no notes. Now, Okay, let's break this down. So you are you do go along with this? That nice guys finished last not because they're nice, but because this nice guy happened to not be have the right to Jena Sequah.
00:02:16
Speaker 4: Look, it's just.
00:02:19
Speaker 3: The whole time I'm watching Carl, I'm watching Corey was also one of those guys making picnics for the women. It's almost as if they're trying so hard to be nice that they don't seem real. So it almost as if like you're dating a ken doll, and there's just something that isn't sexy or attractive.
00:02:40
Speaker 4: About a ken doll.
00:02:41
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:02:41
Speaker 1: Can I ask then, as we talk about nice guys, is it really the idea of nice guys? So it's not a matter of being nice or doing something nice that's not unattractive.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: Oh No, doing something kind, doing something like doing something basically like opening a door for a woman or preparing a meal for a woman. You can do all of those nice things. But a girl's gonna want a little something more. I want a little devilish smile. I want a wink of the eye. I want a funny line. I want there to be some little sexual innuendo. I felt like there was nothing sexual about Carl, and there was not. I know I'm trying to be mean, but it's just like that's just the truth, that's just the energy.
00:03:29
Speaker 1: So I need to get away from Carl for a seconds. I just want to stick with the nice guy thing. Do you go along with that that? Generally speaking, but you sound like you have a reason for it. Is that nice guys is not that they're nice and that's unattractive. Nice guys usually come along with something else that doesn't lend itself to attractiveness.
00:03:49
Speaker 3: Yes, I think that there's just maybe in this. I know this sounds awful, but I'm just speaking truthfully. There's an earnestness about it and almost a desperation about it.
00:03:59
Speaker 2: So being nice it's like.
00:04:01
Speaker 3: They're over Like when guys are really really nice all the time, it can't be real.
00:04:06
Speaker 4: First of all, so you're part of you. I think there's a spidy sense in you going this is not normal. No one is this nice, no one is this unbothered.
00:04:16
Speaker 3: Like there is something about getting to know someone's dark side, their devilish side. That's a part of the attractiveness. And when someone only shows you the glossy, shiny finish, it's hard to get invested.
00:04:31
Speaker 1: But the idea is that is who some people are. It's not put on. It's not a shiny, glossess finish. Some just don't have that dog in them. And by a dog, I mean that fight in him.
00:04:40
Speaker 2: Don't I get that?
00:04:41
Speaker 1: At Edge? Maybe Edge is a good thing to say about Carl Some and we don't know him. We saw him for two three episodes.
00:04:47
Speaker 4: Oh, but I feel like we do know him.
00:04:49
Speaker 3: I feel like we do His comments, his facial expression. Everything was just so sweet. You know, he takes care of his mother, he's kind to his grandmother. He walks an old lady across the streets.
00:05:01
Speaker 2: Why is that not good enough for you?
00:05:04
Speaker 4: He would be a great friend and an awesome brother.
00:05:07
Speaker 2: Friend zoning them all right, we don't even know Carl. You friend zoned him.
00:05:10
Speaker 1: Why is all those things you just mentioned? Why is that not enough for Carl to get picked?
00:05:19
Speaker 3: I think we all deep down love the chase a little and if you don't give me any chase, if you don't give me any little fun and maybe Look, I can't speak obviously for all women, but I do think most women listening will understand what I'm saying that, yeah, you want that spark and just being super nice, golly gee all the time is wonderful and peaceful and kind, but it's not you don't have that spark.
00:05:51
Speaker 1: Is it fair to say that when critique comes, when women do talk about what they want, that all the nice things you mentioned are the things that are said. You don't often hear a woman say yeah, I want to do that's got a little edge to him. I want a guy that's got a little mystery about the dark. You don't hear that, even though you might understand it and believe it and know it in your heart, it's not a part of the discussion. So we end up in the same place about a woman. All these women on the show, I thought, Oh, he's so nice. I want him to do this nice thing and do this sight thing. I just want to be kind or say this, make me break.
00:06:26
Speaker 2: Do it, all these nice things. And then when you don't coming.
00:06:30
Speaker 3: From their sexy man who's given them a little bit of a chase, who has a little bit of swigger, who has a little bit of personality, where I'm like, Oh, what's he thinking?
00:06:39
Speaker 2: You know what?
00:06:40
Speaker 4: This is funny.
00:06:40
Speaker 3: So when so my aunt was my high school drama teacher, and she and my uncle were brilliant actors and directors, and I remember her saying this about what makes a phenomenal actor on stage, because this is what makes them compelling, This is what makes them interesting, This is what makes them attractive to an audience who's invested in them and wants to follow along and hear what they think and see and.
00:07:06
Speaker 4: Believe, and where they end up there's a little mystery to them.
00:07:09
Speaker 3: You have to keep a little mystery to yourself, and that's part of having someone be attracted to you, wanting to know more what's really going on in there? If it's just all golly gee, I sure think you're swell. There is no mystery like I do think there is this thing that we all as humans want some level of mystery.
00:07:31
Speaker 4: I need to know more. I want to understand.
00:07:34
Speaker 3: And sometimes when you just have a really unbelievably nice and it's not even just a facade, but there's just nothing to you to discover or uncover. And I'm not saying there isn't there just isn't no desire to that's maybe awful about human nature. I don't know what it is biologically that we're possibly wired to be attracted to that.
00:07:56
Speaker 1: You are flat out saying that being a nice guy is a negative. You are actually don't get again, this is individual you're actually saying, And it's okay.
00:08:08
Speaker 2: I don't want to.
00:08:09
Speaker 3: Say it like that because it's not that that. It's just I think there is there. There isn't as much attractiveness to someone who doesn't have who doesn't show you this multifaceted part of themselves where you feel like, wow, I want to peel back that onions.
00:08:25
Speaker 1: I want to wait, that's different, right, because you could be a hot guy and still don't have that whatever mystery.
00:08:32
Speaker 4: But that wouldn't be attractive to me.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: But are you.
00:08:34
Speaker 1: Saying that all nice guys come with that thing, like there's a lack of interest just peeling back the onion.
00:08:41
Speaker 2: There's no mystery to a nice guy.
00:08:42
Speaker 3: There's a certain Yeah, there's a certain type of nice guy who is kind of like, look, it's just like basically like a vanilla ice cream cone, Like they're great, you know what you're gonna get, but it's it's vanilla. And I just feel like that is part of what it is. And I'm just being really honest about attractiveness. It's not about someone's value you or worth or what a kind of.
00:09:02
Speaker 4: Husband they would.
00:09:02
Speaker 3: They probably make the most amazing husbands ever. But it's just one of those moments where you're like, I think a lot of women want to feel their heart pounding. They want the thrill of the chase of the what's going to happen in that mystery?
00:09:16
Speaker 4: And you saw it.
00:09:17
Speaker 3: Play out of Love Island, where all these women had these nice guys who were making them picnics and telling them how beautiful they were, and asking questions about their families and what makes them tick and all the things that we say we want in a man. And none of them picked those guys because not a one of them. Because they wanted the chase. They wanted the thrill, they wanted the excitement that those other guys made them feel, because there was this.
00:09:43
Speaker 4: Mystery of what are they going to do?
00:09:46
Speaker 1: But that's it's just interesting that that thrill of the chase or whatever it may be how you just described it, Robes is so overwhelming of a desire in a criteria that it outweighs the thing in front of you that you say you want. Everything you say you want, he's saying it, and he's doing it. He's everything you say you want, But you would still prefer to go over here. Now, I guess that's discouraging for nice guys, but when you I don't know that. That's just a saying that's thrown away around for a bunch of reasons. But in this case, in particular, because Carl did seem like such a nice, decent guy who was from the moment he got there, he has been treating her with the utmost at least, it certainly flies in the face of what we've seen with her and Case.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: So I.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: Would like for you to tell me, then, what was attractive about Carl.
00:10:58
Speaker 3: No, I mean he's physically, he's an attractive man. Physically, he's an attractive man. He's tall, he's muscular, he's got that square jaw, he's got a cute smile.
00:11:08
Speaker 4: He looks the.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Parts, and he's nice. He sounds perfect. He's too nice. That's not we can't come on, he's too nice.
00:11:18
Speaker 3: No, Look, this is funny because this is going on. I actually went on to Reddit and I was laughing, and I think these are men.
00:11:24
Speaker 2: They're confused.
00:11:24
Speaker 3: This guy says, I'm so confused as to how and why both Kida and Melanie start their speech by talking shit about their men and then saying how great the Kasa guy is, but then still coupling up with their original guy. I had to keep rewinding because I was convinced I heard it wrong. Is it shocking to you as a man that they ended up choosing the guy who maybe potentially had broken their hearts.
00:11:48
Speaker 1: Oh, we all made that prediction, and that was the reason for that. Rose has to do with the dynamics of the show a little bit right. They've been with these other guys for three weeks.
00:11:56
Speaker 3: I still think that this would still play out the same way if their same choices in real life, if we're a Sincere like character versus a Cory And.
00:12:04
Speaker 1: Again, I go with time. You got history with Sincere, You've got history with KC. You've been back and forth, you know each other, You've been sleeping in the same bed for weeks. There's a new guy came in, it's been two or three days. It's hard for that person to be so wonderful that they're going to overcome make you forget about that history that you don't think is done yet. I it makes that part makes sense and not just a nice guy thing, but it's.
00:12:29
Speaker 3: But I think we all crave a little bit of the drama because someone else wrote and Nya literally said when she was with Carl, and she did say this last night, I'm the happiest I've ever been.
00:12:39
Speaker 4: And still she chose.
00:12:41
Speaker 2: Kse Okay, So you explained that to me then.
00:12:44
Speaker 3: Because she was happy because somebody was stroking her ego, making her feel pretty and validated and cared for. But she wasn't feeling that spark. So, yes, you can be happy and peaceful, but down don't we all want that lightning bolt? And that usually comes with some.
00:13:05
Speaker 2: Drama with a KC.
00:13:08
Speaker 4: And man, did she get some drama?
00:13:11
Speaker 2: What was it?
00:13:11
Speaker 1: The Sabina told us about it yesterday. The thing going on around the case stands for keep Carl. They were trying to convince her.
00:13:20
Speaker 4: Look, Carl could come back.
00:13:22
Speaker 3: It's we're going to vote one person back on or at least one man. I think in one woman, how much you want to bet it's Carl and it's Ama because they want to mix this stuff up.
00:13:34
Speaker 1: But yes, Robes, we have so far in our conversation, I haven't even asked you the question I've been wanting to ask you most and it might.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Explain a little more.
00:13:44
Speaker 1: So why y'all don't mess with the good guys or the nice guys?
00:13:49
Speaker 2: I should stay? All right?
00:13:59
Speaker 1: We continue here on A and TJ talking about the nice guys who have been finishing First no dead Last. We saw four nice guys dead last standing up there looking.
00:14:10
Speaker 4: It was so crazy.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: That is exactly what you see in real life, and it played out on Love Island.
00:14:18
Speaker 2: Okay, So here is my question.
00:14:20
Speaker 1: And then part of the reason that in some discussions you'll have this robes is about nice guys. The motives do women question and can this be a part of the lack of attraction sometimes to a nice guy? Is you question the motive? Is he really doing this because he is such a nice guy, or he is trying to win favor and position himself with me in some way? Is this for him or is this really for me?
00:14:46
Speaker 3: Yes, that's absolutely something you consider, especially when someone only shows you this over the top kind facade. No one can always be that nice. People get annoyed, upset, angry, So to act as if you're just always the kind, giving, generous one is Honestly, it's kind of annoying, if not suspicious.
00:15:08
Speaker 1: That's the question, because sometimes there have been accusations. I've heard it plenty of times over the years from various women. They can't stand surprises or public displays because they feel performative. They feel like everybody there is looking at the person who gave the gift as what a wonderful person, instead of looking at the one whose actual birthday it is or whatever it may be. I hear that, I hear that plenty now that could fly in the face, and really, you tell me, then a nice guy being a performative nice guy has to be worse than a nice guy.
00:15:48
Speaker 3: It is, and look, they're not easy to spot initially, but after a while you're like, wait, why do I always feel like it ends up always being about you and everyone talking about what a nice guy you are? And somehow I don't understand how this became about you? And wow, now that I think about it, it is always about you.
00:16:11
Speaker 4: And then you question the motives.
00:16:12
Speaker 3: Are you only being nice so that you can receive that type of attention, so that you can receive the everyone saying how wonderful you are? Are you only doing it for basically the praise you're receiving versus the love you're giving.
00:16:30
Speaker 4: That is a part of.
00:16:31
Speaker 1: It, And the other part of their robes is you tell me, it's the part about winning favor. It does feel manipulative, and it felt like that a little bit with Corey.
00:16:39
Speaker 2: I don't know the brother, but I kept saying he's trying too hard. Yeah, you did say he's saying too much of the right things.
00:16:46
Speaker 1: That came off as not him being a and he might be a nice guy, but you just you kind of question when all you're hearing is the exact like it's going in line with this is the perfect thing, Like it was like an if being is and somebody was saying, say this to her now.
00:17:02
Speaker 3: And I do think that women and I mean men too, but I'm speaking now just all behalf of women. You have a spidy sense, and there's something that's off. You're like, this is not this doesn't feel right, This doesn't feel real. This feels icky, fake, like there's a radar that goes off in everyone. And so although they all may be really really nice guys, there's something inside of these women saying there's just no way they're that nice.
00:17:27
Speaker 1: Does any part of it come off as a lack of strength, a lack of self esteem? Like you're always catering to someone else, You're always being a servant to someone else.
00:17:39
Speaker 3: You just nailed it, and I do think there is it's so ironic, but this is you. I think you just put this into perspective for me where I can actually articulate it now why we feel the way we feel. But it is almost as if there's a lack of confidence or self worth in that person. Because they're pouring everything into you to make you like them so that they can feel worthy. And it's almost then there's a responsibility from you, the woman, to make them feel worthy by reciprocating what they're giving you. And it feels heavy and weighty. I just now realize that you just put it into respective. But I think that's why there is actually an ick feeling that comes over a woman when you're experiencing someone like this, because it's like, all of a sudden, this responsibility, because this man is so into you that he's probably not that into himself and he needs you to be into him, so he's doing everything he can to bring you on board to make you love him so that he can feel love. And it feels icky. Your spidy sense goes off.
00:18:35
Speaker 1: Oh, he just blew my mind. This is too complicated, you know what. Knock yourself out, love Alan, you all deserve each other.
00:18:44
Speaker 2: This is insane.
00:18:45
Speaker 1: What you're saying makes sense. But these things are complicated, Bro, They are complicated. It has to do with experience, has to do with age, It has to do with the show you're on, the people you're around, the other personalities. You throw all this into this powder keg. We understand why we're seeing this, but you're right, Robes. Nice guys do have a challenge. The thing is, and that's confusing to us. You all won't admit it. Oftentimes, the things we're talking about here, you keep saying you want the nice guy. You keep saying you want him to do this, you want to be that, you want to put you first.
00:19:18
Speaker 2: You want him to cater to you.
00:19:19
Speaker 1: You want him to do all these sweet things and be this prince Charming that runs around like a little dog.
00:19:27
Speaker 5: I hear you, I hear you. No, no, no, you don't list those things. You all list all this nice stuff. And here's Carl standing up there looking hot with the good jawline like, oh shit, I'm going home.
00:19:38
Speaker 3: He looked like a Disney Prince's like nothing, a diverse Disney prince, diverse Disney prince in the new era of Disney princes. Yes, but I think Carl's coming back. Maybe Carl can come back with some game. And look, have you ever been accused of being a nice guy?
00:19:56
Speaker 2: Uh?
00:19:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh of course, of course, of course, because I mean I i'd like to think I can be a nice guy.
00:20:02
Speaker 2: I've done plenty of bad done plenty. You know. It's a little bit of me and every guy you see on that show.
00:20:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, but see you have swagger and charm and charisma and yes you're kind, but you've still got that.
00:20:13
Speaker 4: Little You've got that Jensee Quox.
00:20:16
Speaker 2: All right with that, everyone call me Carl.
00:20:19
Speaker 4: You are so not Carl and without everyone.
00:20:22
Speaker 3: Thank you for listening on made robok alongside TJ. Holmes.
00:20:26
Speaker 4: We'll talk to you, sir,
Speaker 1: Hey, that folks did is Saturday, June twenty seventh, and why.
00:00:07
Speaker 2: Do good guys finish last?
00:00:10
Speaker 1: We're looking at you, Carl, but we're asking you Amy Robots and with that, welcome to this Love Island love lesson edition of Amy and TJ.
00:00:21
Speaker 2: Did we see this play out dud?
00:00:23
Speaker 1: Did that come to mind as we watched the episode and you saw Carl not get chosen by Anaya instead wanted to stick with a guy who's had some questionable behavior. Did that phrase come to mind?
00:00:35
Speaker 3: Yes, this is the age old question that I think a lot of nice guys ask why the nice guy's always finish last?
00:00:43
Speaker 4: And hashtag Carl.
00:00:45
Speaker 3: I mean, Carl was trending on X all night long because yeah, he was in a lot of ways comedic relief, but also you felt for him. He's such a good guy that even when he got rejected, he was feeling for Anaya and telling her it was gonna be okay. He recognized pretty quickly, I think that he wasn't going to be her choice when she started praising him, which I know might seem counterintuitive. You're such a nice guy, You're the perfect man. You're everything I dreamed of you check every box. How many of those women said that to the kasa amor guys last night while they were rejecting them.
00:01:22
Speaker 1: Okay, right off the top, Why in your opinion did Anaya not pick.
00:01:29
Speaker 3: Karl because she wasn't sexually attracted to him or physically. It wasn't that he isn't good looking. He's an attractive man. He has a great body, he has a strong jawline. But he doesn't have charisma, he doesn't have swagger, he doesn't have that genesequa that women get drawn to. That yeah, that bad boy energy. He's the opposite of that.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: So in this respect, okay, I'm just gonna talk to you now, I got no notes. Now, Okay, let's break this down. So you are you do go along with this? That nice guys finished last not because they're nice, but because this nice guy happened to not be have the right to Jena Sequah.
00:02:16
Speaker 4: Look, it's just.
00:02:19
Speaker 3: The whole time I'm watching Carl, I'm watching Corey was also one of those guys making picnics for the women. It's almost as if they're trying so hard to be nice that they don't seem real. So it almost as if like you're dating a ken doll, and there's just something that isn't sexy or attractive.
00:02:40
Speaker 4: About a ken doll.
00:02:41
Speaker 2: Okay.
00:02:41
Speaker 1: Can I ask then, as we talk about nice guys, is it really the idea of nice guys? So it's not a matter of being nice or doing something nice that's not unattractive.
00:02:53
Speaker 3: Oh No, doing something kind, doing something like doing something basically like opening a door for a woman or preparing a meal for a woman. You can do all of those nice things. But a girl's gonna want a little something more. I want a little devilish smile. I want a wink of the eye. I want a funny line. I want there to be some little sexual innuendo. I felt like there was nothing sexual about Carl, and there was not. I know I'm trying to be mean, but it's just like that's just the truth, that's just the energy.
00:03:29
Speaker 1: So I need to get away from Carl for a seconds. I just want to stick with the nice guy thing. Do you go along with that that? Generally speaking, but you sound like you have a reason for it. Is that nice guys is not that they're nice and that's unattractive. Nice guys usually come along with something else that doesn't lend itself to attractiveness.
00:03:49
Speaker 3: Yes, I think that there's just maybe in this. I know this sounds awful, but I'm just speaking truthfully. There's an earnestness about it and almost a desperation about it.
00:03:59
Speaker 2: So being nice it's like.
00:04:01
Speaker 3: They're over Like when guys are really really nice all the time, it can't be real.
00:04:06
Speaker 4: First of all, so you're part of you. I think there's a spidy sense in you going this is not normal. No one is this nice, no one is this unbothered.
00:04:16
Speaker 3: Like there is something about getting to know someone's dark side, their devilish side. That's a part of the attractiveness. And when someone only shows you the glossy, shiny finish, it's hard to get invested.
00:04:31
Speaker 1: But the idea is that is who some people are. It's not put on. It's not a shiny, glossess finish. Some just don't have that dog in them. And by a dog, I mean that fight in him.
00:04:40
Speaker 2: Don't I get that?
00:04:41
Speaker 1: At Edge? Maybe Edge is a good thing to say about Carl Some and we don't know him. We saw him for two three episodes.
00:04:47
Speaker 4: Oh, but I feel like we do know him.
00:04:49
Speaker 3: I feel like we do His comments, his facial expression. Everything was just so sweet. You know, he takes care of his mother, he's kind to his grandmother. He walks an old lady across the streets.
00:05:01
Speaker 2: Why is that not good enough for you?
00:05:04
Speaker 4: He would be a great friend and an awesome brother.
00:05:07
Speaker 2: Friend zoning them all right, we don't even know Carl. You friend zoned him.
00:05:10
Speaker 1: Why is all those things you just mentioned? Why is that not enough for Carl to get picked?
00:05:19
Speaker 3: I think we all deep down love the chase a little and if you don't give me any chase, if you don't give me any little fun and maybe Look, I can't speak obviously for all women, but I do think most women listening will understand what I'm saying that, yeah, you want that spark and just being super nice, golly gee all the time is wonderful and peaceful and kind, but it's not you don't have that spark.
00:05:51
Speaker 1: Is it fair to say that when critique comes, when women do talk about what they want, that all the nice things you mentioned are the things that are said. You don't often hear a woman say yeah, I want to do that's got a little edge to him. I want a guy that's got a little mystery about the dark. You don't hear that, even though you might understand it and believe it and know it in your heart, it's not a part of the discussion. So we end up in the same place about a woman. All these women on the show, I thought, Oh, he's so nice. I want him to do this nice thing and do this sight thing. I just want to be kind or say this, make me break.
00:06:26
Speaker 2: Do it, all these nice things. And then when you don't coming.
00:06:30
Speaker 3: From their sexy man who's given them a little bit of a chase, who has a little bit of swigger, who has a little bit of personality, where I'm like, Oh, what's he thinking?
00:06:39
Speaker 2: You know what?
00:06:40
Speaker 4: This is funny.
00:06:40
Speaker 3: So when so my aunt was my high school drama teacher, and she and my uncle were brilliant actors and directors, and I remember her saying this about what makes a phenomenal actor on stage, because this is what makes them compelling, This is what makes them interesting, This is what makes them attractive to an audience who's invested in them and wants to follow along and hear what they think and see and.
00:07:06
Speaker 4: Believe, and where they end up there's a little mystery to them.
00:07:09
Speaker 3: You have to keep a little mystery to yourself, and that's part of having someone be attracted to you, wanting to know more what's really going on in there? If it's just all golly gee, I sure think you're swell. There is no mystery like I do think there is this thing that we all as humans want some level of mystery.
00:07:31
Speaker 4: I need to know more. I want to understand.
00:07:34
Speaker 3: And sometimes when you just have a really unbelievably nice and it's not even just a facade, but there's just nothing to you to discover or uncover. And I'm not saying there isn't there just isn't no desire to that's maybe awful about human nature. I don't know what it is biologically that we're possibly wired to be attracted to that.
00:07:56
Speaker 1: You are flat out saying that being a nice guy is a negative. You are actually don't get again, this is individual you're actually saying, And it's okay.
00:08:08
Speaker 2: I don't want to.
00:08:09
Speaker 3: Say it like that because it's not that that. It's just I think there is there. There isn't as much attractiveness to someone who doesn't have who doesn't show you this multifaceted part of themselves where you feel like, wow, I want to peel back that onions.
00:08:25
Speaker 1: I want to wait, that's different, right, because you could be a hot guy and still don't have that whatever mystery.
00:08:32
Speaker 4: But that wouldn't be attractive to me.
00:08:34
Speaker 2: But are you.
00:08:34
Speaker 1: Saying that all nice guys come with that thing, like there's a lack of interest just peeling back the onion.
00:08:41
Speaker 2: There's no mystery to a nice guy.
00:08:42
Speaker 3: There's a certain Yeah, there's a certain type of nice guy who is kind of like, look, it's just like basically like a vanilla ice cream cone, Like they're great, you know what you're gonna get, but it's it's vanilla. And I just feel like that is part of what it is. And I'm just being really honest about attractiveness. It's not about someone's value you or worth or what a kind of.
00:09:02
Speaker 4: Husband they would.
00:09:02
Speaker 3: They probably make the most amazing husbands ever. But it's just one of those moments where you're like, I think a lot of women want to feel their heart pounding. They want the thrill of the chase of the what's going to happen in that mystery?
00:09:16
Speaker 4: And you saw it.
00:09:17
Speaker 3: Play out of Love Island, where all these women had these nice guys who were making them picnics and telling them how beautiful they were, and asking questions about their families and what makes them tick and all the things that we say we want in a man. And none of them picked those guys because not a one of them. Because they wanted the chase. They wanted the thrill, they wanted the excitement that those other guys made them feel, because there was this.
00:09:43
Speaker 4: Mystery of what are they going to do?
00:09:46
Speaker 1: But that's it's just interesting that that thrill of the chase or whatever it may be how you just described it, Robes is so overwhelming of a desire in a criteria that it outweighs the thing in front of you that you say you want. Everything you say you want, he's saying it, and he's doing it. He's everything you say you want, But you would still prefer to go over here. Now, I guess that's discouraging for nice guys, but when you I don't know that. That's just a saying that's thrown away around for a bunch of reasons. But in this case, in particular, because Carl did seem like such a nice, decent guy who was from the moment he got there, he has been treating her with the utmost at least, it certainly flies in the face of what we've seen with her and Case.
00:10:44
Speaker 2: So I.
00:10:48
Speaker 1: Would like for you to tell me, then, what was attractive about Carl.
00:10:58
Speaker 3: No, I mean he's physically, he's an attractive man. Physically, he's an attractive man. He's tall, he's muscular, he's got that square jaw, he's got a cute smile.
00:11:08
Speaker 4: He looks the.
00:11:09
Speaker 2: Parts, and he's nice. He sounds perfect. He's too nice. That's not we can't come on, he's too nice.
00:11:18
Speaker 3: No, Look, this is funny because this is going on. I actually went on to Reddit and I was laughing, and I think these are men.
00:11:24
Speaker 2: They're confused.
00:11:24
Speaker 3: This guy says, I'm so confused as to how and why both Kida and Melanie start their speech by talking shit about their men and then saying how great the Kasa guy is, but then still coupling up with their original guy. I had to keep rewinding because I was convinced I heard it wrong. Is it shocking to you as a man that they ended up choosing the guy who maybe potentially had broken their hearts.
00:11:48
Speaker 1: Oh, we all made that prediction, and that was the reason for that. Rose has to do with the dynamics of the show a little bit right. They've been with these other guys for three weeks.
00:11:56
Speaker 3: I still think that this would still play out the same way if their same choices in real life, if we're a Sincere like character versus a Cory And.
00:12:04
Speaker 1: Again, I go with time. You got history with Sincere, You've got history with KC. You've been back and forth, you know each other, You've been sleeping in the same bed for weeks. There's a new guy came in, it's been two or three days. It's hard for that person to be so wonderful that they're going to overcome make you forget about that history that you don't think is done yet. I it makes that part makes sense and not just a nice guy thing, but it's.
00:12:29
Speaker 3: But I think we all crave a little bit of the drama because someone else wrote and Nya literally said when she was with Carl, and she did say this last night, I'm the happiest I've ever been.
00:12:39
Speaker 4: And still she chose.
00:12:41
Speaker 2: Kse Okay, So you explained that to me then.
00:12:44
Speaker 3: Because she was happy because somebody was stroking her ego, making her feel pretty and validated and cared for. But she wasn't feeling that spark. So, yes, you can be happy and peaceful, but down don't we all want that lightning bolt? And that usually comes with some.
00:13:05
Speaker 2: Drama with a KC.
00:13:08
Speaker 4: And man, did she get some drama?
00:13:11
Speaker 2: What was it?
00:13:11
Speaker 1: The Sabina told us about it yesterday. The thing going on around the case stands for keep Carl. They were trying to convince her.
00:13:20
Speaker 4: Look, Carl could come back.
00:13:22
Speaker 3: It's we're going to vote one person back on or at least one man. I think in one woman, how much you want to bet it's Carl and it's Ama because they want to mix this stuff up.
00:13:34
Speaker 1: But yes, Robes, we have so far in our conversation, I haven't even asked you the question I've been wanting to ask you most and it might.
00:13:43
Speaker 2: Explain a little more.
00:13:44
Speaker 1: So why y'all don't mess with the good guys or the nice guys?
00:13:49
Speaker 2: I should stay? All right?
00:13:59
Speaker 1: We continue here on A and TJ talking about the nice guys who have been finishing First no dead Last. We saw four nice guys dead last standing up there looking.
00:14:10
Speaker 4: It was so crazy.
00:14:11
Speaker 3: That is exactly what you see in real life, and it played out on Love Island.
00:14:18
Speaker 2: Okay, So here is my question.
00:14:20
Speaker 1: And then part of the reason that in some discussions you'll have this robes is about nice guys. The motives do women question and can this be a part of the lack of attraction sometimes to a nice guy? Is you question the motive? Is he really doing this because he is such a nice guy, or he is trying to win favor and position himself with me in some way? Is this for him or is this really for me?
00:14:46
Speaker 3: Yes, that's absolutely something you consider, especially when someone only shows you this over the top kind facade. No one can always be that nice. People get annoyed, upset, angry, So to act as if you're just always the kind, giving, generous one is Honestly, it's kind of annoying, if not suspicious.
00:15:08
Speaker 1: That's the question, because sometimes there have been accusations. I've heard it plenty of times over the years from various women. They can't stand surprises or public displays because they feel performative. They feel like everybody there is looking at the person who gave the gift as what a wonderful person, instead of looking at the one whose actual birthday it is or whatever it may be. I hear that, I hear that plenty now that could fly in the face, and really, you tell me, then a nice guy being a performative nice guy has to be worse than a nice guy.
00:15:48
Speaker 3: It is, and look, they're not easy to spot initially, but after a while you're like, wait, why do I always feel like it ends up always being about you and everyone talking about what a nice guy you are? And somehow I don't understand how this became about you? And wow, now that I think about it, it is always about you.
00:16:11
Speaker 4: And then you question the motives.
00:16:12
Speaker 3: Are you only being nice so that you can receive that type of attention, so that you can receive the everyone saying how wonderful you are? Are you only doing it for basically the praise you're receiving versus the love you're giving.
00:16:30
Speaker 4: That is a part of.
00:16:31
Speaker 1: It, And the other part of their robes is you tell me, it's the part about winning favor. It does feel manipulative, and it felt like that a little bit with Corey.
00:16:39
Speaker 2: I don't know the brother, but I kept saying he's trying too hard. Yeah, you did say he's saying too much of the right things.
00:16:46
Speaker 1: That came off as not him being a and he might be a nice guy, but you just you kind of question when all you're hearing is the exact like it's going in line with this is the perfect thing, Like it was like an if being is and somebody was saying, say this to her now.
00:17:02
Speaker 3: And I do think that women and I mean men too, but I'm speaking now just all behalf of women. You have a spidy sense, and there's something that's off. You're like, this is not this doesn't feel right, This doesn't feel real. This feels icky, fake, like there's a radar that goes off in everyone. And so although they all may be really really nice guys, there's something inside of these women saying there's just no way they're that nice.
00:17:27
Speaker 1: Does any part of it come off as a lack of strength, a lack of self esteem? Like you're always catering to someone else, You're always being a servant to someone else.
00:17:39
Speaker 3: You just nailed it, and I do think there is it's so ironic, but this is you. I think you just put this into perspective for me where I can actually articulate it now why we feel the way we feel. But it is almost as if there's a lack of confidence or self worth in that person. Because they're pouring everything into you to make you like them so that they can feel worthy. And it's almost then there's a responsibility from you, the woman, to make them feel worthy by reciprocating what they're giving you. And it feels heavy and weighty. I just now realize that you just put it into respective. But I think that's why there is actually an ick feeling that comes over a woman when you're experiencing someone like this, because it's like, all of a sudden, this responsibility, because this man is so into you that he's probably not that into himself and he needs you to be into him, so he's doing everything he can to bring you on board to make you love him so that he can feel love. And it feels icky. Your spidy sense goes off.
00:18:35
Speaker 1: Oh, he just blew my mind. This is too complicated, you know what. Knock yourself out, love Alan, you all deserve each other.
00:18:44
Speaker 2: This is insane.
00:18:45
Speaker 1: What you're saying makes sense. But these things are complicated, Bro, They are complicated. It has to do with experience, has to do with age, It has to do with the show you're on, the people you're around, the other personalities. You throw all this into this powder keg. We understand why we're seeing this, but you're right, Robes. Nice guys do have a challenge. The thing is, and that's confusing to us. You all won't admit it. Oftentimes, the things we're talking about here, you keep saying you want the nice guy. You keep saying you want him to do this, you want to be that, you want to put you first.
00:19:18
Speaker 2: You want him to cater to you.
00:19:19
Speaker 1: You want him to do all these sweet things and be this prince Charming that runs around like a little dog.
00:19:27
Speaker 5: I hear you, I hear you. No, no, no, you don't list those things. You all list all this nice stuff. And here's Carl standing up there looking hot with the good jawline like, oh shit, I'm going home.
00:19:38
Speaker 3: He looked like a Disney Prince's like nothing, a diverse Disney prince, diverse Disney prince in the new era of Disney princes. Yes, but I think Carl's coming back. Maybe Carl can come back with some game. And look, have you ever been accused of being a nice guy?
00:19:56
Speaker 2: Uh?
00:19:56
Speaker 1: Yeah, Oh of course, of course, of course, because I mean I i'd like to think I can be a nice guy.
00:20:02
Speaker 2: I've done plenty of bad done plenty. You know. It's a little bit of me and every guy you see on that show.
00:20:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, but see you have swagger and charm and charisma and yes you're kind, but you've still got that.
00:20:13
Speaker 4: Little You've got that Jensee Quox.
00:20:16
Speaker 2: All right with that, everyone call me Carl.
00:20:19
Speaker 4: You are so not Carl and without everyone.
00:20:22
Speaker 3: Thank you for listening on made robok alongside TJ. Holmes.
00:20:26
Speaker 4: We'll talk to you, sir,