Oct. 28, 2026
Living With A Breast Cancer Diagnosis: What Surprisingly Comes After Treatment, With Actress Nicole Eggert
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RSS Feed It's the final week of Breast Cancer Awareness month, and while we often focus on early detection and treatment options, we rarely discuss what happens after treatment ends, when anxiety sets in for many women. Amy and T.J. have a raw and honest conversation with fellow breast cancer patient, actress Nicole Eggert, about how both she and Amy navigate life after treatment. You may be surprised to hear how Amy and Nicole feel about their breast cancer diagnoses today, and why they say their lives have changed for the better, despite the physical and emotional rollercoaster that continues beyond treatment. Sponsored by Novartis. For more information, visit BreastCancerUnscripted.com
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody.
00:00:03
Speaker 2: It is October, and I think most people listening here know that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, certainly a month that is near and dear to my heart.
00:00:15
Speaker 1: It is the month that saved my life. It is the month that raises awareness for women around the world and truly saves lives because it reminds many of us to make those appointments, to keep those appointments. And to make sure that we're putting our health first when it comes to breast cancer. TJ knows just how important this month is.
00:00:36
Speaker 3: You know what?
00:00:37
Speaker 4: I have a different understanding and respect and appreciation. You just said it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That's when a lot of people are talking about it. Robes, I am with a breast. You are diagnosed with breast cancer. You're essentially still living it. with it on your mind. Every day is breast cancer awareness day.
00:00:57
Speaker 1: That's true.
00:00:58
Speaker 4: It does feel completely different now when you're living with it and living with somebody you love.
00:01:04
Speaker 1: That is true. And it was 13 years ago on October 30th, 2013, that I was diagnosed with stage two early breast cancer. And I've been talking about it ever since and telling my story, telling other women's stories. has been a big part of this month for me and for so many others. And I have partnered with Novartis. I am not on a Novartis product, but a part of it is to tell other women's stories because there is so much power in that. And one of the incredible women who we have had the pleasure of talking with, and I think many people know who actress Nicole Eggert is. She needs no introduction. of Charles in Charge, Baywatch, you name the show, she was on it. And she is.
00:01:53
Speaker 3: You know more of the Charles in Charge, I was more of the Baywatch.
00:01:56
Speaker 1: Yes, we were debating which one we liked better. But Nicole Eggert is also a breast cancer sister, and she joins us today to talk about some of the concerns that happen after a diagnosis, things we don't talk about often, Nicole, and welcome... Thank you.
00:02:13
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. Yes, October. I also got my diagnosis in October and did not have my screening appointment until end of November. So try getting a discovery mammogram during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It is impossible. I mean, I was walking into offices, just cold walking in and begging people to make room for me. And I didn't have any luck. But I also partnered with Novartis and I am on a Novartis product.
00:02:47
Speaker 1: And you and I have had a chance, and TJ's actually joined in on the conversation as well, to talk about our experiences with breast cancer. And we're so excited to get to continue the conversation today because so much of the conversation is, understandably so, about early detection, about getting certain tests to make sure you know where you stand health-wise. But The conversation rarely goes to the place that you and I have walked and that so many others have. And that's what happens when you're done with treatment, when treatment ends. The concerns don't. How have you navigated life after treatment, Nicole?
00:03:28
Speaker 5: Well, you're so right about that. It does not end. And even when you're having a day where you're not thinking about it, possibly it's A commercial comes on TV, right? Or somebody else brings up that they're going through it or a family member. It's so common, unfortunately, that it's around you all the time. So it's really hard to avoid. But for me, I really try to just remember to focus on the journey and remember that we all have this expiration date. We're all going to the same place. It's how we get there. And it's not the beginning. It's not the end. It's that journey in between everything. that we really just need to slow down and appreciate and make it as beautiful as we can.
00:04:08
Speaker 4: Rob, you just said something, and yes, certainly around this time, getting in for screenings and whatnot, early detection. Why is, you said recurrence isn't necessarily at top of mind or the primary conversation often.
00:04:22
Speaker 3: Is that the case? Both of you all think that's the case, and why is that?
00:04:25
Speaker 1: Because I think the point is, obviously, the earlier you find your breast cancer, the better chance you have at surviving it. But People are always focused on, the patient and the medical professionals, on making sure you're treated, that the cancer is, first of all, diagnosed and then attacked, so to speak. But no one talks about what happens after the treatment ends, when you're left to worry, when you're left to be concerned about it coming back, because that is when things get You have to deal with this disease in a completely different way. And so that concern can hang over your head and learning how to navigate through that. And this is something that doesn't end. This is something you take with you for the rest of your life. Nicole, what have you done? Is there, when you feel some of that concern creep up, do you have tools that you've used, that you've employed to try and say, I'm okay? I've got this. I can get through this.
00:05:31
Speaker 5: Yes, I have a number of tools. And to your point, so different patients have different recurrence rates. So I have a really high rate of recurrence. It got into my lymphatic system. A lot of my lymph nodes tested positive. So I'm at a high risk. I really just have to remind myself. I do a lot of meditation. So a lot of times like I need calming down and I do guided meditation. visualization and meditation. And then other times I get in my car and I turn the music up really loud and I rock out and I dance. I get on my little mini trampoline in my house. I turn the music on and just rock out and just forget everything and get all that angst out of me and just know that I'm doing what I can. Um, I have faith in science. So as long as I continue my screenings and I keep on top of things and I'm doing all the things that I can do, um, I have to just trust that if there's early detection, we'll be able to treat it. We'll be able to get on top of it. And, you know, you kind of gotta just, you gotta throw your hands up sometimes and really just know that today I'm okay. Like right now, right here, I'm okay. Everything's okay. And I just kind of do it like that.
00:06:58
Speaker 4: Nicole, I have to ask, though, when you have the music on and you're dancing, what exactly are you rocking out to?
00:07:04
Speaker 3: Just curious.
00:07:05
Speaker 5: I listen to a lot of rap music and I also listen to a lot of rock music. So I love me some Ozzy Osbourne. I love me some Tupac. I am all over the place. Beastie Boys, N.W.A. My neighbors must think I'm out of my mind and I don't care. And yeah.
00:07:24
Speaker 3: Well, some of that music you named, you need to get something out. That's some energy.
00:07:27
Speaker 4: There's some fire in all that music you're talking about.
00:07:31
Speaker 6: It is.
00:07:31
Speaker 1: You could come over to this apartment because you just named our two favorite genres. Rap and rock. Rap and rock. We're constantly doing that. And, you know, I think there is an expectation. There certainly was for me that there would be relief when treatment ends, that you could just move on. And I think it's shocking when all of a sudden you get hit with a ton of bricks and realize, wait a minute. Now I have to wait and see and wonder. And that can be even more challenging than the treatment itself because it's not something many people prepare you for. For me, I turned to running. I was always a runner, but I turned to marathoning. I turned to doing things with my body that I didn't think I could do before cancer. I always said, I watched my dad. He was a marathoner. And I thought, wow, dad, there's no way. I'm a 10K-er. I had never run a half marathon, let alone a full marathon. And it took me a while. And I would say it took me two years to get out of my funk. And once I did, I said, hell yeah, let's do this. Let's see what this body of mine can do. This body that I thought betrayed me, watch me show how strong it can be. And that was a huge mental and physical boost for me. And it remains to be the same. Anytime I'm feeling scared, depressed, or upset in my life, just about anything, I'll pound the pavement. And I know, TJ, you're the same way.
00:08:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you just mentioned something. Is that common? Is that a common story? Maybe do you have one as well? She just said she was.
00:09:02
Speaker 5: In a two week long. Yeah, well, sure. So for me, I kind of didn't feel like my body betrayed me. I had a different experience. I learned to really appreciate my body and I was really proud of it for showing up. And I thought about all the years I picked it apart, right? All the years I was like, oh, I wish this looked better. That was tighter. All the things. And now, you know, it's kind of a mess under here. And I love it so much. And I'm so proud of it. And I know you are stronger than I am. And, you know, my body really showed up for me. I wish I had that. I wish I exercised. But yeah.
00:09:43
Speaker 1: It's never too late, Nicole. It's never too late.
00:09:45
Speaker 5: It's not. It's never too late. But, you know, like you said, I guess I dance. I'll go back to the dancing around and bouncing on my trampoline and just getting all that energy out.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: And look, it's interesting because according to the Novartis Breast Health Index, this is just an indication that, Nicole, you and I are not alone. More than three quarters of patients surveyed said they, too, worry about the possibility of their cancer returning even when they've been told your cancer is in remission. So, look, this There is something to not feeling alone. There is something about having these conversations with other women, which we were able to do with breastcancerunscripted.com. You and I were able to actually have those talks with other women in different stages of their cancer journey. How reassuring is that to you? How much does that help you emotionally now? on this lifelong journey of breast cancer to know that there are other women who are literally experiencing the same things as you?
00:10:49
Speaker 5: Well, it's everything, right? So there was never a bigger lie told than when people kept saying to me, oh, in a year or two years when you're done with treatment, this will all be behind you and you just get back to regular life.
00:11:00
Speaker 2: Like, what?
00:11:02
Speaker 5: That couldn't be farther from the truth. It's definitely part of me. And some people will say, get over it, like online. They're like, get over it. No, I'm never going to get over it. It's a big part of who I am. And we get to talk about it more now. It's more women are open because I think everybody's realizing that sense of community is just so healing. I was so glad that I was public about my diagnosis because I was able to help other people, but this whole community wrapped their arms around me too. and lifted me up. And I really needed that. And if I had kept all that to myself, I never would have received that. And so much knowledge and comfort and just joy comes from sharing with other patients that have been through it.
00:11:50
Speaker 1: And I learn a lot too, you know, just other women cope or what other women, you know, just hearing how they feel about the way people treat them sometimes, because I think it's fair to I don't know that people understand no one wants to be pitied. No one wants to be regarded as a breast cancer patient. No one wants to be viewed through the disease that happened to you. And I've learned so much just about what, what women, what people need and hearing other people's stories helps me actually even express myself better.
00:12:28
Speaker 5: Absolutely. Absolutely. And again, Yeah, you get ideas. Like you brought up an idea. Maybe I should try running. Because that's so good for my heart, right? And I need to be concerned about that as well. But you do. You get ideas. You get comfort. And it's the best thing to do. And you take this stigma off of it by talking about it. And you make it a common conversation. It is part of my life now. And no, I don't want to be pitied at all. And I don't want to be seen as like the girl with cancer. But I do want people to feel like they can come to me and ask questions if they have them or express worries if they have them. So for me, it's okay to be associated with cancer. I don't think that's so horrible. Cancer is really taken on a whole different definition after. So at first, I couldn't even say the word. I couldn't even read my paperwork of my diagnosis. I didn't even want to know. It was all so horrible. to say I have breast cancer took me a very long time. And now it's just a word. It's something we're going through. It brings up feelings. It's a thought-provoking word.
00:13:45
Speaker 4: You said you didn't want to be known as the girl cancer. I know what you were meaning when you said that. But you also said something a couple of answers ago about people actually writing into you and saying, get over it.
00:13:57
Speaker 3: I assume that's few and far between, or at least I hope.
00:14:00
Speaker 4: But what kind of responses or negative responses could you possibly get from people who are bothered by you talking about what you're going through?
00:14:10
Speaker 5: Well, people are surprising, not surprising behind those keyboards. Um, yes, I get told to get over it and move on. Um, or that I deserved it. I've, I've gotten told more. That's the one I get the most is that I deserved it. Um, And then I get comments about because I keep my hair short now because I kind of am in this moment right now where I really love not having to do my hair. That takes that off the table. And I'm just happy right there. And that's my choice. And I just get told, like, how bad I look. You know, you look like crap. You're aging yourself. Like, just silly things that you're like, you think I care how old I look right now?
00:14:53
Speaker 1: You know, TJ first met me right before. I believe it was almost exactly a year. I mean, it was within months of me finishing all of my treatment. So I also had very short hair. And I think you almost want me to bring it back.
00:15:07
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. I wouldn't want to say I fell in love on the spot. But I love the short hair. I love your short hair. I love how it looks. But I just can't believe all that you are.
00:15:19
Speaker 4: I guess going through what you've gone through, a negative comment on Instagram doesn't seem as big of a deal given that.
00:15:26
Speaker 3: What you might be going through.
00:15:26
Speaker 4: But still, it's shocking that anybody would say to either one of you, get over it, stop talking about it.
00:15:31
Speaker 3: That's still shocking to me.
00:15:33
Speaker 1: Nicole, I've had the, you know, you deserved getting cancer. I'm glad you got cancer. I hope your daughters get cancer. I've seen all of those things. So you are not alone in some of those horrific comments that you cannot believe anyone took the time to type and send and put out in a public space. But I know exactly what that feels like. How has breast cancer changed your life in terms of what you prioritize, who you spend your time with, what you actually feel more comfortable saying no to? Give us a sense of how there is an empowering part of going through this disease because you learn very quickly that we don't have time to be placating people, time to be doing things we don't want to do or spending time with people who, frankly, aren't good energy.
00:16:23
Speaker 5: You're right. I have My bandwidth is low. I prioritize work, volunteering, and my family. And really just laughing, having fun, having good meals, spending time outside. And because you're right, we just don't have all this time that we thought we had. And I also like, I have this fearlessness now because through the worst news you could ever throw at me, And now I'm like, God, all those years I lived in fear of silly things, that was such wasted energy and such wasted time. And now I'm like, God, the little things just really don't bother me. Like those comments, you know, and people will say karma. And I sit there and I go, well, what kind of karma did you just create for yourself writing that or even thinking that? Like, make it make sense. Make it make sense. So I just really don't have time for the hate. I can't, I just, like, I really just, it just, I'm unbothered. And I just think pre-cancer, that would have never been the case. That just never would have been the case. And it's just taught me to just speak my mind, say no. And I say no a lot now. And it feels good. I don't feel bad about it.
00:17:55
Speaker 1: I believe in my first job, they called me the doormat. And I kind of weirdly looked at that as like a source of pride. Like, you know, I'll do anything to get where I want to go. I'll take the assignment. I'll work the triple shift. And my colleagues made fun of me. And oddly, I thought that was fun and cool to say I didn't take any of my vacation days. I, you know, will just sit here and miss important events in my life. so that I can dedicate my life to this job. LOL. That all ended after breast cancer. It really is a reality check. I'm curious about how you feel now about being vulnerable. Has that changed for you? Because once you put it out there that you are a breast cancer patient, that you have or had breast cancer and people are talking about your breasts. I mean, it's, It's an intimate thing. There's a reason why some women don't want to talk about it. And I respect, and I know you do too, women who choose that path. But have you found that you're more willing to just be vulnerable in a way you wouldn't have otherwise?
00:19:03
Speaker 3: 1,000%.
00:19:05
Speaker 5: And yes, there are lots of women who don't want to talk about it and are embarrassed or shy. And that's why the conversations is so great because you can watch things from the privacy of your own home by yourself anonymously. For me, it was interesting because I was in the middle of shooting a documentary for Baywatch and we had to go to the TCAs and promote it. And I had to go out and promote a show that was about like boobs and hair, basically, right? Like everybody's looking at you like, and I thought this is interesting because if I wasn't in treatment and I showed up to promote it, they would be comparing the way I look now to the way I looked then, right? So it weirdly took this pressure off. And I was like, you come at me now, you know, like compare me to then because I'm in the middle of treatment. You can't do that. So it's sort of in a weird way opened this door for me to feel so comfortable about talking about it.
00:20:09
Speaker 4: Being comfortable, do you find, either of you, that you, Robes, in particular, you were diagnosed over a decade ago, are conversations different? Are people, even maybe some people that come up to you of different generations, talk about it differently? Because you said you don't just want to be, you don't want to be pitied, but some people can't help but, oh, you're kind of a thing.
00:20:30
Speaker 3: Are people talking to you differently about that?
00:20:32
Speaker 1: Well, people did initially. There was absolutely, I likened it to witnessing your own funeral. When people found out initially and people found out about my cancer very publicly on a national morning show. But I found that that was difficult because I did feel that pity. But now I think the harder part is people acting flippantly about it. Like, oh, you're done. It's over. You're in remission. move, like to your point, move on. And there's almost this suggestion that you had a brush with cancer and that's behind you. And I think that's the frustrating part for me because there's really, there's not a lot of recognition unless you've walked the walk, that this is a disease that stays with you for the rest of your life. You are always, Nicole, you said you were at a high risk of recurrence. I came back as an intermediate risk of recurrence. We get these ANCA scores. They've They literally take your tumors. I also had mine go into my lymph nodes and they give you a score and they tell you what your possibility, what the best guess they have scientifically of when or if your breast cancer might return. Mine was intermediate. That's not low. And I remember my doctor saying, well, at least it's not high, but really at the end of the day, we're all Wondering and waiting and worried. And that doesn't go away, does it, Nicole? I mean, it gets a little bit easier with time, but it's still there.
00:21:58
Speaker 5: It's still there. And that's why talking with other people who have been through it is so important and powerful because you can even live with someone who's gone through it, been by their side the entire time. You still don't really grasp it the way the person who is going through it grasps it and understands it. And so that's why we can have these conversations and it's like, say less. I know exactly what you mean. And you know what I mean? And other people are like, huh, what? And they don't understand what that means, right? They're like, so it's just, yeah, it's really important. It's really comforting. And those are the only other people that really get it because other people are like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.
00:22:40
Speaker 1: Anyway, it's for dinner tonight. No, that's my kids.
00:22:44
Speaker 6: I'm sorry.
00:22:45
Speaker 5: Thank you for clearing that.
00:22:49
Speaker 6: Not you.
00:22:49
Speaker 1: No, you've been wonderful. You've been wonderful. Nicole, I actually, I assumed, and we know what they say about assuming, that people might know your specific story, but can you remind our listeners how you found your breast cancer? I think that's always something that A lot of people want to know because they want to understand how maybe they should be approaching this disease or how they should be regarding their own health.
00:23:14
Speaker 5: How did you find your breast cancer? Well, I was doing my yearly mammograms. I was on top of it. I was also going to the gynecologist where she was doing the self exam for me, but then COVID hit. So I wasn't going to those gynecological visits anymore, but I was going for my mammograms. And I've always been told you have dense breast tissue. But then nothing, no follow up with that. Like, what does that mean? So I was just like, okay, noted. I have dense breast tissue. I don't know. And I didn't understand what that meant. And well, it turns out it's pretty significant. And I felt a throbbing. So I got in the shower and I did my own self-exam. And it was there. It was there. It was big. My heart dropped because I was like, I cannot believe that has been there. And I didn't feel that. I didn't know that. And then in hindsight, another thing that I noticed, which is a red flag, is my bra was fitting differently. And every time I took my top off, my bra was a little crooked. And I just kind of summed it up to that, you know, breast tissue is forever growing and changing. And it's really common to have one larger than the other. But it was larger because the tumors were growing in it, not because there was more breast tissue growing. And so that had been for quite some time. When I look back on it, I'm like, okay, that was definitely during the pandemic. That was even maybe pre-pandemic. So it had been, but I was going to my yearly mammogram screenings thinking that I was in the clear. So it's just really, really important for us to continue to tell everybody to do all of the screenings, ultrasounds. Sometimes you have to advocate for it though. You have to fight for it, but you should. Um, you should definitely fight for me.
00:25:05
Speaker 1: Definitely.
00:25:05
Speaker 5: I call it, fill yourself up, get to know your girls, have your partner fill you up, have fun with it. Know when there's something, when there's a change, you know, you can, you can know quickly by, by doing the self exams. So that's why all of the things are so important.
00:25:22
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think that's why when you and I were able to sit down with so many other women, um, and again, you can, you can hear these conversations at breastcancerunscripted.com. But no two stories are the same. Every woman has a different story, took a different path. And I'm curious how that resonated with you when you, because just even hearing you retell your story, I got chills from head to toe because something about your story, I recall in mind, but also I feel like for anyone listening, it's just a reminder that cancer can manifest itself in many different ways and you can recognize it or find it in many different ways.
00:26:03
Speaker 5: Correct. And the sooner we find it, the quicker we find it, the quicker we get the bad news, if that's what the case, the more, the chances of less treatment, a higher survival rate. So we think these scans and these tests are scary and they are, but if you don't do them and something is happening, bad news is much scarier. It's better to just know and get that off the table or know and get treated right away.
00:26:33
Speaker 1: What do you wish that more people understood about what it's like to live with breast cancer? What do you think one of the biggest misunderstandings is surrounding this disease?
00:26:47
Speaker 5: Well, I think that you look good. People say to me all the time, oh, you look so good. You look so healthy. Yeah, well, my body hurts. I hit a wall in the early evening and I'm done. And just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't happening. And there's trauma, you know, and there is worry. And there's all of the things happening just because you can't see them. It doesn't mean that they're not there and very prevalent. So we have to understand that it's a constant struggle. It just really is. And learning to love and accept the new body that you're in, because your body is never the same afterwards. I'm living in a totally different vessel. It looks nothing like anything I had ever met before in my life. Completely different.
00:27:45
Speaker 1: It's so true. You know, it's funny when TJ and I started dating, it was many, many years after many, many surgeries. And I was nervous about you seeing me because I, it is a different experience to know that someone you love is going to see your body and it looks nothing like it used to.
00:28:03
Speaker 6: And I don't think I want to talk about it, but at some point it's, I think it's better to go ahead and have these conversations again, so that other women don't feel so alone that you can say it's okay.
00:28:16
Speaker 1: You're here, you're alive. And that's what matters. Were you at all nervous about, It never crossed my mind. Because you remember that conversation we had.
00:28:26
Speaker 3: Exactly. We were sitting at the bar.
00:28:28
Speaker 1: Sitting at a bar. Full disclosure. And I started to cry. How did you feel about that?
00:28:35
Speaker 3: I didn't know what was happening. I'm more of a legs guy, to be honest with you.
00:28:41
Speaker 5: No, it was.
00:28:42
Speaker 3: It never crossed my mind. But in that moment, it got a little more real. I had a better... Rose, I.
00:28:47
Speaker 4: Have covered breast cancer. I've known breast cancer survivors. My entire career, we've interviewed people. I didn't start really understanding until that conversation.
00:28:59
Speaker 3: And then we got more serious.
00:29:00
Speaker 4: And now this is somebody I'm going to spend my life with.
00:29:02
Speaker 3: And what do you mean?
00:29:03
Speaker 4: We're expecting a letter every six months to tell us what? And that you'll have to go back in for what? And then we have to wait, what? And Nicole, you mentioned, right? Sometimes people just don't get it. You don't get it unless you've been in it. I did not get that. And I don't think most people get that. If it's anxiety, I don't know, but you are living day in, day out, still with the thought that something could come.
00:29:30
Speaker 1: Or the threat of it, yes.
00:29:31
Speaker 4: And if that's there, no wonder y'all are dancing the Tupac on trampolines and doing all kinds of stuff.
00:29:37
Speaker 1: Like mountains and running marathons.
00:29:39
Speaker 3: Because yes, it makes you live differently.
00:29:41
Speaker 1: It absolutely does. I'm curious, Nicole, what were conversations like for you with your team about recurrence, about managing the threat of it, managing the worry around it? Did you feel like you had good guidance there? anything you can share about what you received from, I know that most of these teams are in the moment trying to deal with the cancer that they have to deal with, but how much understanding or how much care did you receive about what was going to happen once the treatment ended?
00:30:16
Speaker 5: You know, unfortunately not a lot, but I also, I kind of pick and choose what I want to know about And my recurrence rate is something that I don't even know that number. He just told me it was high. I didn't want to know the number. I think I will revisit it now because I'm in a better place. And so now maybe I want to know. And for me, it was just like I didn't want to know what kind of cancer I had. I didn't really want to know what stage it was at because it didn't matter. What mattered to me was, is the treatment going to work? And what can I do? What can I, where, what do we do? How do we fix it? And so that conversation was just really quick. He was like, you're high. He was like looking at thing. And I was like, say no more. Like, what do I do? And, and that's when, you know, he sort of explained what I would be doing. And, you know, and then I, I then decided to get a complete hysterectomy and just take all the precautions that I could because you know, the lower we can get that rate, the better. And the more confident I feel in my own body, I feel like, okay, at least like we're, because the other thing like we talk about when you're in active treatment, you feel like you're doing something, right? You feel proactive. You feel like as horrible as it is, you feel like, okay, okay, we're fighting this. We're getting rid of this. And then when it stops, you're like, now what? You know, like, what do I do? um you know because it just it's like and it just stops abruptly yeah.
00:31:52
Speaker 1: And you're like left and you're like ring the bell or you you get a bubble party or whatever it is and then they're like bye like yeah yeah wait.
00:32:02
Speaker 4: I was gonna ask that is it that's just not the main focus it's not right often oh but they tell you to go find support groups and you support each other and that's the main thing but you you actually walk out of there ringing a bell with without a pamphlet, without guidance. I assume some doctors are different in how they give you guidance, but this isn't the focus. This sounds like a mental health focus needs to be at the end of treatment.
00:32:25
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:32:26
Speaker 5: Oh, yes.
00:32:27
Speaker 4: Agreed.
00:32:28
Speaker 5: It's like reconstruction after going through mastectomy should be part of the procedure, which it isn't. Like, I didn't realize that because they kept talking about reconstruction. And then I was like, so when does that happen? And they're like.
00:32:43
Speaker 5: Well, you can get on these waiting lists. And, and then I was, you know, talking to other women in office and eight, 10 years, they'd been on this waiting list. And I was like, oh, wow. I didn't realize that just literally they get it out of you. They, and they, it all stops and they have other patients to get to and you're left to just move forward and figure it out.
00:33:04
Speaker 1: It really is a jarring experience because you actually have to make decisions and you're not a medical professional. So to have a community, to be able to talk to other women is everything because that is how I received a lot of my information and made a lot of my decisions based on talking to other women who had already walked down that path. I wanted to ask you this last thing because we haven't had this conversation or I haven't asked you this question, but it was really interesting.
00:33:35
Speaker 5: Something.
00:33:36
Speaker 1: My doctor said to me, I don't know if she was saying this in the moment to try and make me feel better about the whole thing, but she said to me, all my patients who have come back to me over the years and all of them who are still around, she's like, they have all said to me, 10 years out, 15 years out, if I could go back, I would never undo this. I would never give the cancer back because it's changed who I am so fundamentally. It's made me such a better person. And I've experienced things that I never would have experienced had I not gone through this, I wouldn't give it back. And I remember sitting there looking at her newly diagnosed and thinking, are you full of it right now? Where do I give this back to her? Turn to sender and I'll put as much postage on it as you want, but I don't want anything to do with this. How do you feel now several years distanced from your original diagnosis?
00:34:29
Speaker 5: Well, I feel the same way. I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't trade it in. In the beginning, of course, I would think you were absolutely out of your mind to say something like that. But you're right. And I've had such a spiritual awakening, for lack of a better term. It just has changed me through and through. There's not even hardly any of that other person left. I took the good parts of her in there with me and good riddance to all the other stuff. And yeah, I wouldn't trade it either.
00:35:00
Speaker 6: Nope.
00:35:01
Speaker 5: I just love the life I'm, even though it's with cancer, I love the life I'm living and moving forward with.
00:35:09
Speaker 1: Again, chills. You gave them to me because I wouldn't be sitting across from you.
00:35:13
Speaker 6: I wouldn't.
00:35:14
Speaker 1: And so I wouldn't give it back either. And I can't believe I'm, I don't think I've actually said that out loud, but I remember at the time thinking this is the most ridiculous thing that anyone has ever said to me. And yet it turns out, It's true. And I wonder if other women listening feel the same way. You're shaking your head like you can't believe it.
00:35:33
Speaker 4: I just, I cannot believe. So again, you have to be where you all are to be able to say that and to understand somebody else saying it. Sitting where I am, I still don't get it. Because I've seen the pain. I've seen the frustration.
00:35:45
Speaker 3: I've seen the worry.
00:35:47
Speaker 4: I've seen all that. And I've heard it even from you, Nicole. This hasn't been anywhere close to easy. It's been damn near impossible what you all.
00:35:55
Speaker 3: Have gone through. And to say Yep, wouldn't give it back. Yeah, that's hard to understand.
00:36:01
Speaker 5: I think when you go to those deepest, darkest corners and you swim in fear that you've never felt before, when you come out of that, there's no going back. There's no going back and there's no wanting to go back, for me at least. And the friends and the people I've met along the way, including... Nicole Eggert. Nicole, thank you so much.
00:36:25
Speaker 1: We know that you are advocating so much this month and jumping on planes and giving speeches and just, I love this empowering other women. This is what it's all about, giving back. So Nicole Eggert, thank you so much for being with us. And I want to let everyone know who's listening. If today's episode resonated with you, please, please, please check out breastcancerunscripted.com. So you can watch other conversations and learn oh so much more. Nicole, again, thank you. And I don't know, do we say happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month? But anyway, it's nice to always meet you once a year this time of year.
00:37:01
Speaker 5: Yeah, same. Thank you for having me and thank you for all that you do.
00:37:05
Speaker 2: It's amazing.
Speaker 1: Hey there, everybody.
00:00:03
Speaker 2: It is October, and I think most people listening here know that it is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, certainly a month that is near and dear to my heart.
00:00:15
Speaker 1: It is the month that saved my life. It is the month that raises awareness for women around the world and truly saves lives because it reminds many of us to make those appointments, to keep those appointments. And to make sure that we're putting our health first when it comes to breast cancer. TJ knows just how important this month is.
00:00:36
Speaker 3: You know what?
00:00:37
Speaker 4: I have a different understanding and respect and appreciation. You just said it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month. That's when a lot of people are talking about it. Robes, I am with a breast. You are diagnosed with breast cancer. You're essentially still living it. with it on your mind. Every day is breast cancer awareness day.
00:00:57
Speaker 1: That's true.
00:00:58
Speaker 4: It does feel completely different now when you're living with it and living with somebody you love.
00:01:04
Speaker 1: That is true. And it was 13 years ago on October 30th, 2013, that I was diagnosed with stage two early breast cancer. And I've been talking about it ever since and telling my story, telling other women's stories. has been a big part of this month for me and for so many others. And I have partnered with Novartis. I am not on a Novartis product, but a part of it is to tell other women's stories because there is so much power in that. And one of the incredible women who we have had the pleasure of talking with, and I think many people know who actress Nicole Eggert is. She needs no introduction. of Charles in Charge, Baywatch, you name the show, she was on it. And she is.
00:01:53
Speaker 3: You know more of the Charles in Charge, I was more of the Baywatch.
00:01:56
Speaker 1: Yes, we were debating which one we liked better. But Nicole Eggert is also a breast cancer sister, and she joins us today to talk about some of the concerns that happen after a diagnosis, things we don't talk about often, Nicole, and welcome... Thank you.
00:02:13
Speaker 5: Thank you for having me. Yes, October. I also got my diagnosis in October and did not have my screening appointment until end of November. So try getting a discovery mammogram during Breast Cancer Awareness Month. It is impossible. I mean, I was walking into offices, just cold walking in and begging people to make room for me. And I didn't have any luck. But I also partnered with Novartis and I am on a Novartis product.
00:02:47
Speaker 1: And you and I have had a chance, and TJ's actually joined in on the conversation as well, to talk about our experiences with breast cancer. And we're so excited to get to continue the conversation today because so much of the conversation is, understandably so, about early detection, about getting certain tests to make sure you know where you stand health-wise. But The conversation rarely goes to the place that you and I have walked and that so many others have. And that's what happens when you're done with treatment, when treatment ends. The concerns don't. How have you navigated life after treatment, Nicole?
00:03:28
Speaker 5: Well, you're so right about that. It does not end. And even when you're having a day where you're not thinking about it, possibly it's A commercial comes on TV, right? Or somebody else brings up that they're going through it or a family member. It's so common, unfortunately, that it's around you all the time. So it's really hard to avoid. But for me, I really try to just remember to focus on the journey and remember that we all have this expiration date. We're all going to the same place. It's how we get there. And it's not the beginning. It's not the end. It's that journey in between everything. that we really just need to slow down and appreciate and make it as beautiful as we can.
00:04:08
Speaker 4: Rob, you just said something, and yes, certainly around this time, getting in for screenings and whatnot, early detection. Why is, you said recurrence isn't necessarily at top of mind or the primary conversation often.
00:04:22
Speaker 3: Is that the case? Both of you all think that's the case, and why is that?
00:04:25
Speaker 1: Because I think the point is, obviously, the earlier you find your breast cancer, the better chance you have at surviving it. But People are always focused on, the patient and the medical professionals, on making sure you're treated, that the cancer is, first of all, diagnosed and then attacked, so to speak. But no one talks about what happens after the treatment ends, when you're left to worry, when you're left to be concerned about it coming back, because that is when things get You have to deal with this disease in a completely different way. And so that concern can hang over your head and learning how to navigate through that. And this is something that doesn't end. This is something you take with you for the rest of your life. Nicole, what have you done? Is there, when you feel some of that concern creep up, do you have tools that you've used, that you've employed to try and say, I'm okay? I've got this. I can get through this.
00:05:31
Speaker 5: Yes, I have a number of tools. And to your point, so different patients have different recurrence rates. So I have a really high rate of recurrence. It got into my lymphatic system. A lot of my lymph nodes tested positive. So I'm at a high risk. I really just have to remind myself. I do a lot of meditation. So a lot of times like I need calming down and I do guided meditation. visualization and meditation. And then other times I get in my car and I turn the music up really loud and I rock out and I dance. I get on my little mini trampoline in my house. I turn the music on and just rock out and just forget everything and get all that angst out of me and just know that I'm doing what I can. Um, I have faith in science. So as long as I continue my screenings and I keep on top of things and I'm doing all the things that I can do, um, I have to just trust that if there's early detection, we'll be able to treat it. We'll be able to get on top of it. And, you know, you kind of gotta just, you gotta throw your hands up sometimes and really just know that today I'm okay. Like right now, right here, I'm okay. Everything's okay. And I just kind of do it like that.
00:06:58
Speaker 4: Nicole, I have to ask, though, when you have the music on and you're dancing, what exactly are you rocking out to?
00:07:04
Speaker 3: Just curious.
00:07:05
Speaker 5: I listen to a lot of rap music and I also listen to a lot of rock music. So I love me some Ozzy Osbourne. I love me some Tupac. I am all over the place. Beastie Boys, N.W.A. My neighbors must think I'm out of my mind and I don't care. And yeah.
00:07:24
Speaker 3: Well, some of that music you named, you need to get something out. That's some energy.
00:07:27
Speaker 4: There's some fire in all that music you're talking about.
00:07:31
Speaker 6: It is.
00:07:31
Speaker 1: You could come over to this apartment because you just named our two favorite genres. Rap and rock. Rap and rock. We're constantly doing that. And, you know, I think there is an expectation. There certainly was for me that there would be relief when treatment ends, that you could just move on. And I think it's shocking when all of a sudden you get hit with a ton of bricks and realize, wait a minute. Now I have to wait and see and wonder. And that can be even more challenging than the treatment itself because it's not something many people prepare you for. For me, I turned to running. I was always a runner, but I turned to marathoning. I turned to doing things with my body that I didn't think I could do before cancer. I always said, I watched my dad. He was a marathoner. And I thought, wow, dad, there's no way. I'm a 10K-er. I had never run a half marathon, let alone a full marathon. And it took me a while. And I would say it took me two years to get out of my funk. And once I did, I said, hell yeah, let's do this. Let's see what this body of mine can do. This body that I thought betrayed me, watch me show how strong it can be. And that was a huge mental and physical boost for me. And it remains to be the same. Anytime I'm feeling scared, depressed, or upset in my life, just about anything, I'll pound the pavement. And I know, TJ, you're the same way.
00:08:54
Speaker 4: Yeah, but you just mentioned something. Is that common? Is that a common story? Maybe do you have one as well? She just said she was.
00:09:02
Speaker 5: In a two week long. Yeah, well, sure. So for me, I kind of didn't feel like my body betrayed me. I had a different experience. I learned to really appreciate my body and I was really proud of it for showing up. And I thought about all the years I picked it apart, right? All the years I was like, oh, I wish this looked better. That was tighter. All the things. And now, you know, it's kind of a mess under here. And I love it so much. And I'm so proud of it. And I know you are stronger than I am. And, you know, my body really showed up for me. I wish I had that. I wish I exercised. But yeah.
00:09:43
Speaker 1: It's never too late, Nicole. It's never too late.
00:09:45
Speaker 5: It's not. It's never too late. But, you know, like you said, I guess I dance. I'll go back to the dancing around and bouncing on my trampoline and just getting all that energy out.
00:09:56
Speaker 1: And look, it's interesting because according to the Novartis Breast Health Index, this is just an indication that, Nicole, you and I are not alone. More than three quarters of patients surveyed said they, too, worry about the possibility of their cancer returning even when they've been told your cancer is in remission. So, look, this There is something to not feeling alone. There is something about having these conversations with other women, which we were able to do with breastcancerunscripted.com. You and I were able to actually have those talks with other women in different stages of their cancer journey. How reassuring is that to you? How much does that help you emotionally now? on this lifelong journey of breast cancer to know that there are other women who are literally experiencing the same things as you?
00:10:49
Speaker 5: Well, it's everything, right? So there was never a bigger lie told than when people kept saying to me, oh, in a year or two years when you're done with treatment, this will all be behind you and you just get back to regular life.
00:11:00
Speaker 2: Like, what?
00:11:02
Speaker 5: That couldn't be farther from the truth. It's definitely part of me. And some people will say, get over it, like online. They're like, get over it. No, I'm never going to get over it. It's a big part of who I am. And we get to talk about it more now. It's more women are open because I think everybody's realizing that sense of community is just so healing. I was so glad that I was public about my diagnosis because I was able to help other people, but this whole community wrapped their arms around me too. and lifted me up. And I really needed that. And if I had kept all that to myself, I never would have received that. And so much knowledge and comfort and just joy comes from sharing with other patients that have been through it.
00:11:50
Speaker 1: And I learn a lot too, you know, just other women cope or what other women, you know, just hearing how they feel about the way people treat them sometimes, because I think it's fair to I don't know that people understand no one wants to be pitied. No one wants to be regarded as a breast cancer patient. No one wants to be viewed through the disease that happened to you. And I've learned so much just about what, what women, what people need and hearing other people's stories helps me actually even express myself better.
00:12:28
Speaker 5: Absolutely. Absolutely. And again, Yeah, you get ideas. Like you brought up an idea. Maybe I should try running. Because that's so good for my heart, right? And I need to be concerned about that as well. But you do. You get ideas. You get comfort. And it's the best thing to do. And you take this stigma off of it by talking about it. And you make it a common conversation. It is part of my life now. And no, I don't want to be pitied at all. And I don't want to be seen as like the girl with cancer. But I do want people to feel like they can come to me and ask questions if they have them or express worries if they have them. So for me, it's okay to be associated with cancer. I don't think that's so horrible. Cancer is really taken on a whole different definition after. So at first, I couldn't even say the word. I couldn't even read my paperwork of my diagnosis. I didn't even want to know. It was all so horrible. to say I have breast cancer took me a very long time. And now it's just a word. It's something we're going through. It brings up feelings. It's a thought-provoking word.
00:13:45
Speaker 4: You said you didn't want to be known as the girl cancer. I know what you were meaning when you said that. But you also said something a couple of answers ago about people actually writing into you and saying, get over it.
00:13:57
Speaker 3: I assume that's few and far between, or at least I hope.
00:14:00
Speaker 4: But what kind of responses or negative responses could you possibly get from people who are bothered by you talking about what you're going through?
00:14:10
Speaker 5: Well, people are surprising, not surprising behind those keyboards. Um, yes, I get told to get over it and move on. Um, or that I deserved it. I've, I've gotten told more. That's the one I get the most is that I deserved it. Um, And then I get comments about because I keep my hair short now because I kind of am in this moment right now where I really love not having to do my hair. That takes that off the table. And I'm just happy right there. And that's my choice. And I just get told, like, how bad I look. You know, you look like crap. You're aging yourself. Like, just silly things that you're like, you think I care how old I look right now?
00:14:53
Speaker 1: You know, TJ first met me right before. I believe it was almost exactly a year. I mean, it was within months of me finishing all of my treatment. So I also had very short hair. And I think you almost want me to bring it back.
00:15:07
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah. I wouldn't want to say I fell in love on the spot. But I love the short hair. I love your short hair. I love how it looks. But I just can't believe all that you are.
00:15:19
Speaker 4: I guess going through what you've gone through, a negative comment on Instagram doesn't seem as big of a deal given that.
00:15:26
Speaker 3: What you might be going through.
00:15:26
Speaker 4: But still, it's shocking that anybody would say to either one of you, get over it, stop talking about it.
00:15:31
Speaker 3: That's still shocking to me.
00:15:33
Speaker 1: Nicole, I've had the, you know, you deserved getting cancer. I'm glad you got cancer. I hope your daughters get cancer. I've seen all of those things. So you are not alone in some of those horrific comments that you cannot believe anyone took the time to type and send and put out in a public space. But I know exactly what that feels like. How has breast cancer changed your life in terms of what you prioritize, who you spend your time with, what you actually feel more comfortable saying no to? Give us a sense of how there is an empowering part of going through this disease because you learn very quickly that we don't have time to be placating people, time to be doing things we don't want to do or spending time with people who, frankly, aren't good energy.
00:16:23
Speaker 5: You're right. I have My bandwidth is low. I prioritize work, volunteering, and my family. And really just laughing, having fun, having good meals, spending time outside. And because you're right, we just don't have all this time that we thought we had. And I also like, I have this fearlessness now because through the worst news you could ever throw at me, And now I'm like, God, all those years I lived in fear of silly things, that was such wasted energy and such wasted time. And now I'm like, God, the little things just really don't bother me. Like those comments, you know, and people will say karma. And I sit there and I go, well, what kind of karma did you just create for yourself writing that or even thinking that? Like, make it make sense. Make it make sense. So I just really don't have time for the hate. I can't, I just, like, I really just, it just, I'm unbothered. And I just think pre-cancer, that would have never been the case. That just never would have been the case. And it's just taught me to just speak my mind, say no. And I say no a lot now. And it feels good. I don't feel bad about it.
00:17:55
Speaker 1: I believe in my first job, they called me the doormat. And I kind of weirdly looked at that as like a source of pride. Like, you know, I'll do anything to get where I want to go. I'll take the assignment. I'll work the triple shift. And my colleagues made fun of me. And oddly, I thought that was fun and cool to say I didn't take any of my vacation days. I, you know, will just sit here and miss important events in my life. so that I can dedicate my life to this job. LOL. That all ended after breast cancer. It really is a reality check. I'm curious about how you feel now about being vulnerable. Has that changed for you? Because once you put it out there that you are a breast cancer patient, that you have or had breast cancer and people are talking about your breasts. I mean, it's, It's an intimate thing. There's a reason why some women don't want to talk about it. And I respect, and I know you do too, women who choose that path. But have you found that you're more willing to just be vulnerable in a way you wouldn't have otherwise?
00:19:03
Speaker 3: 1,000%.
00:19:05
Speaker 5: And yes, there are lots of women who don't want to talk about it and are embarrassed or shy. And that's why the conversations is so great because you can watch things from the privacy of your own home by yourself anonymously. For me, it was interesting because I was in the middle of shooting a documentary for Baywatch and we had to go to the TCAs and promote it. And I had to go out and promote a show that was about like boobs and hair, basically, right? Like everybody's looking at you like, and I thought this is interesting because if I wasn't in treatment and I showed up to promote it, they would be comparing the way I look now to the way I looked then, right? So it weirdly took this pressure off. And I was like, you come at me now, you know, like compare me to then because I'm in the middle of treatment. You can't do that. So it's sort of in a weird way opened this door for me to feel so comfortable about talking about it.
00:20:09
Speaker 4: Being comfortable, do you find, either of you, that you, Robes, in particular, you were diagnosed over a decade ago, are conversations different? Are people, even maybe some people that come up to you of different generations, talk about it differently? Because you said you don't just want to be, you don't want to be pitied, but some people can't help but, oh, you're kind of a thing.
00:20:30
Speaker 3: Are people talking to you differently about that?
00:20:32
Speaker 1: Well, people did initially. There was absolutely, I likened it to witnessing your own funeral. When people found out initially and people found out about my cancer very publicly on a national morning show. But I found that that was difficult because I did feel that pity. But now I think the harder part is people acting flippantly about it. Like, oh, you're done. It's over. You're in remission. move, like to your point, move on. And there's almost this suggestion that you had a brush with cancer and that's behind you. And I think that's the frustrating part for me because there's really, there's not a lot of recognition unless you've walked the walk, that this is a disease that stays with you for the rest of your life. You are always, Nicole, you said you were at a high risk of recurrence. I came back as an intermediate risk of recurrence. We get these ANCA scores. They've They literally take your tumors. I also had mine go into my lymph nodes and they give you a score and they tell you what your possibility, what the best guess they have scientifically of when or if your breast cancer might return. Mine was intermediate. That's not low. And I remember my doctor saying, well, at least it's not high, but really at the end of the day, we're all Wondering and waiting and worried. And that doesn't go away, does it, Nicole? I mean, it gets a little bit easier with time, but it's still there.
00:21:58
Speaker 5: It's still there. And that's why talking with other people who have been through it is so important and powerful because you can even live with someone who's gone through it, been by their side the entire time. You still don't really grasp it the way the person who is going through it grasps it and understands it. And so that's why we can have these conversations and it's like, say less. I know exactly what you mean. And you know what I mean? And other people are like, huh, what? And they don't understand what that means, right? They're like, so it's just, yeah, it's really important. It's really comforting. And those are the only other people that really get it because other people are like, mm-hmm. Yeah. Okay.
00:22:40
Speaker 1: Anyway, it's for dinner tonight. No, that's my kids.
00:22:44
Speaker 6: I'm sorry.
00:22:45
Speaker 5: Thank you for clearing that.
00:22:49
Speaker 6: Not you.
00:22:49
Speaker 1: No, you've been wonderful. You've been wonderful. Nicole, I actually, I assumed, and we know what they say about assuming, that people might know your specific story, but can you remind our listeners how you found your breast cancer? I think that's always something that A lot of people want to know because they want to understand how maybe they should be approaching this disease or how they should be regarding their own health.
00:23:14
Speaker 5: How did you find your breast cancer? Well, I was doing my yearly mammograms. I was on top of it. I was also going to the gynecologist where she was doing the self exam for me, but then COVID hit. So I wasn't going to those gynecological visits anymore, but I was going for my mammograms. And I've always been told you have dense breast tissue. But then nothing, no follow up with that. Like, what does that mean? So I was just like, okay, noted. I have dense breast tissue. I don't know. And I didn't understand what that meant. And well, it turns out it's pretty significant. And I felt a throbbing. So I got in the shower and I did my own self-exam. And it was there. It was there. It was big. My heart dropped because I was like, I cannot believe that has been there. And I didn't feel that. I didn't know that. And then in hindsight, another thing that I noticed, which is a red flag, is my bra was fitting differently. And every time I took my top off, my bra was a little crooked. And I just kind of summed it up to that, you know, breast tissue is forever growing and changing. And it's really common to have one larger than the other. But it was larger because the tumors were growing in it, not because there was more breast tissue growing. And so that had been for quite some time. When I look back on it, I'm like, okay, that was definitely during the pandemic. That was even maybe pre-pandemic. So it had been, but I was going to my yearly mammogram screenings thinking that I was in the clear. So it's just really, really important for us to continue to tell everybody to do all of the screenings, ultrasounds. Sometimes you have to advocate for it though. You have to fight for it, but you should. Um, you should definitely fight for me.
00:25:05
Speaker 1: Definitely.
00:25:05
Speaker 5: I call it, fill yourself up, get to know your girls, have your partner fill you up, have fun with it. Know when there's something, when there's a change, you know, you can, you can know quickly by, by doing the self exams. So that's why all of the things are so important.
00:25:22
Speaker 1: Yeah. And I think that's why when you and I were able to sit down with so many other women, um, and again, you can, you can hear these conversations at breastcancerunscripted.com. But no two stories are the same. Every woman has a different story, took a different path. And I'm curious how that resonated with you when you, because just even hearing you retell your story, I got chills from head to toe because something about your story, I recall in mind, but also I feel like for anyone listening, it's just a reminder that cancer can manifest itself in many different ways and you can recognize it or find it in many different ways.
00:26:03
Speaker 5: Correct. And the sooner we find it, the quicker we find it, the quicker we get the bad news, if that's what the case, the more, the chances of less treatment, a higher survival rate. So we think these scans and these tests are scary and they are, but if you don't do them and something is happening, bad news is much scarier. It's better to just know and get that off the table or know and get treated right away.
00:26:33
Speaker 1: What do you wish that more people understood about what it's like to live with breast cancer? What do you think one of the biggest misunderstandings is surrounding this disease?
00:26:47
Speaker 5: Well, I think that you look good. People say to me all the time, oh, you look so good. You look so healthy. Yeah, well, my body hurts. I hit a wall in the early evening and I'm done. And just because you can't see it, it doesn't mean it isn't happening. And there's trauma, you know, and there is worry. And there's all of the things happening just because you can't see them. It doesn't mean that they're not there and very prevalent. So we have to understand that it's a constant struggle. It just really is. And learning to love and accept the new body that you're in, because your body is never the same afterwards. I'm living in a totally different vessel. It looks nothing like anything I had ever met before in my life. Completely different.
00:27:45
Speaker 1: It's so true. You know, it's funny when TJ and I started dating, it was many, many years after many, many surgeries. And I was nervous about you seeing me because I, it is a different experience to know that someone you love is going to see your body and it looks nothing like it used to.
00:28:03
Speaker 6: And I don't think I want to talk about it, but at some point it's, I think it's better to go ahead and have these conversations again, so that other women don't feel so alone that you can say it's okay.
00:28:16
Speaker 1: You're here, you're alive. And that's what matters. Were you at all nervous about, It never crossed my mind. Because you remember that conversation we had.
00:28:26
Speaker 3: Exactly. We were sitting at the bar.
00:28:28
Speaker 1: Sitting at a bar. Full disclosure. And I started to cry. How did you feel about that?
00:28:35
Speaker 3: I didn't know what was happening. I'm more of a legs guy, to be honest with you.
00:28:41
Speaker 5: No, it was.
00:28:42
Speaker 3: It never crossed my mind. But in that moment, it got a little more real. I had a better... Rose, I.
00:28:47
Speaker 4: Have covered breast cancer. I've known breast cancer survivors. My entire career, we've interviewed people. I didn't start really understanding until that conversation.
00:28:59
Speaker 3: And then we got more serious.
00:29:00
Speaker 4: And now this is somebody I'm going to spend my life with.
00:29:02
Speaker 3: And what do you mean?
00:29:03
Speaker 4: We're expecting a letter every six months to tell us what? And that you'll have to go back in for what? And then we have to wait, what? And Nicole, you mentioned, right? Sometimes people just don't get it. You don't get it unless you've been in it. I did not get that. And I don't think most people get that. If it's anxiety, I don't know, but you are living day in, day out, still with the thought that something could come.
00:29:30
Speaker 1: Or the threat of it, yes.
00:29:31
Speaker 4: And if that's there, no wonder y'all are dancing the Tupac on trampolines and doing all kinds of stuff.
00:29:37
Speaker 1: Like mountains and running marathons.
00:29:39
Speaker 3: Because yes, it makes you live differently.
00:29:41
Speaker 1: It absolutely does. I'm curious, Nicole, what were conversations like for you with your team about recurrence, about managing the threat of it, managing the worry around it? Did you feel like you had good guidance there? anything you can share about what you received from, I know that most of these teams are in the moment trying to deal with the cancer that they have to deal with, but how much understanding or how much care did you receive about what was going to happen once the treatment ended?
00:30:16
Speaker 5: You know, unfortunately not a lot, but I also, I kind of pick and choose what I want to know about And my recurrence rate is something that I don't even know that number. He just told me it was high. I didn't want to know the number. I think I will revisit it now because I'm in a better place. And so now maybe I want to know. And for me, it was just like I didn't want to know what kind of cancer I had. I didn't really want to know what stage it was at because it didn't matter. What mattered to me was, is the treatment going to work? And what can I do? What can I, where, what do we do? How do we fix it? And so that conversation was just really quick. He was like, you're high. He was like looking at thing. And I was like, say no more. Like, what do I do? And, and that's when, you know, he sort of explained what I would be doing. And, you know, and then I, I then decided to get a complete hysterectomy and just take all the precautions that I could because you know, the lower we can get that rate, the better. And the more confident I feel in my own body, I feel like, okay, at least like we're, because the other thing like we talk about when you're in active treatment, you feel like you're doing something, right? You feel proactive. You feel like as horrible as it is, you feel like, okay, okay, we're fighting this. We're getting rid of this. And then when it stops, you're like, now what? You know, like, what do I do? um you know because it just it's like and it just stops abruptly yeah.
00:31:52
Speaker 1: And you're like left and you're like ring the bell or you you get a bubble party or whatever it is and then they're like bye like yeah yeah wait.
00:32:02
Speaker 4: I was gonna ask that is it that's just not the main focus it's not right often oh but they tell you to go find support groups and you support each other and that's the main thing but you you actually walk out of there ringing a bell with without a pamphlet, without guidance. I assume some doctors are different in how they give you guidance, but this isn't the focus. This sounds like a mental health focus needs to be at the end of treatment.
00:32:25
Speaker 1: Yes.
00:32:26
Speaker 5: Oh, yes.
00:32:27
Speaker 4: Agreed.
00:32:28
Speaker 5: It's like reconstruction after going through mastectomy should be part of the procedure, which it isn't. Like, I didn't realize that because they kept talking about reconstruction. And then I was like, so when does that happen? And they're like.
00:32:43
Speaker 5: Well, you can get on these waiting lists. And, and then I was, you know, talking to other women in office and eight, 10 years, they'd been on this waiting list. And I was like, oh, wow. I didn't realize that just literally they get it out of you. They, and they, it all stops and they have other patients to get to and you're left to just move forward and figure it out.
00:33:04
Speaker 1: It really is a jarring experience because you actually have to make decisions and you're not a medical professional. So to have a community, to be able to talk to other women is everything because that is how I received a lot of my information and made a lot of my decisions based on talking to other women who had already walked down that path. I wanted to ask you this last thing because we haven't had this conversation or I haven't asked you this question, but it was really interesting.
00:33:35
Speaker 5: Something.
00:33:36
Speaker 1: My doctor said to me, I don't know if she was saying this in the moment to try and make me feel better about the whole thing, but she said to me, all my patients who have come back to me over the years and all of them who are still around, she's like, they have all said to me, 10 years out, 15 years out, if I could go back, I would never undo this. I would never give the cancer back because it's changed who I am so fundamentally. It's made me such a better person. And I've experienced things that I never would have experienced had I not gone through this, I wouldn't give it back. And I remember sitting there looking at her newly diagnosed and thinking, are you full of it right now? Where do I give this back to her? Turn to sender and I'll put as much postage on it as you want, but I don't want anything to do with this. How do you feel now several years distanced from your original diagnosis?
00:34:29
Speaker 5: Well, I feel the same way. I wouldn't go back. I wouldn't trade it in. In the beginning, of course, I would think you were absolutely out of your mind to say something like that. But you're right. And I've had such a spiritual awakening, for lack of a better term. It just has changed me through and through. There's not even hardly any of that other person left. I took the good parts of her in there with me and good riddance to all the other stuff. And yeah, I wouldn't trade it either.
00:35:00
Speaker 6: Nope.
00:35:01
Speaker 5: I just love the life I'm, even though it's with cancer, I love the life I'm living and moving forward with.
00:35:09
Speaker 1: Again, chills. You gave them to me because I wouldn't be sitting across from you.
00:35:13
Speaker 6: I wouldn't.
00:35:14
Speaker 1: And so I wouldn't give it back either. And I can't believe I'm, I don't think I've actually said that out loud, but I remember at the time thinking this is the most ridiculous thing that anyone has ever said to me. And yet it turns out, It's true. And I wonder if other women listening feel the same way. You're shaking your head like you can't believe it.
00:35:33
Speaker 4: I just, I cannot believe. So again, you have to be where you all are to be able to say that and to understand somebody else saying it. Sitting where I am, I still don't get it. Because I've seen the pain. I've seen the frustration.
00:35:45
Speaker 3: I've seen the worry.
00:35:47
Speaker 4: I've seen all that. And I've heard it even from you, Nicole. This hasn't been anywhere close to easy. It's been damn near impossible what you all.
00:35:55
Speaker 3: Have gone through. And to say Yep, wouldn't give it back. Yeah, that's hard to understand.
00:36:01
Speaker 5: I think when you go to those deepest, darkest corners and you swim in fear that you've never felt before, when you come out of that, there's no going back. There's no going back and there's no wanting to go back, for me at least. And the friends and the people I've met along the way, including... Nicole Eggert. Nicole, thank you so much.
00:36:25
Speaker 1: We know that you are advocating so much this month and jumping on planes and giving speeches and just, I love this empowering other women. This is what it's all about, giving back. So Nicole Eggert, thank you so much for being with us. And I want to let everyone know who's listening. If today's episode resonated with you, please, please, please check out breastcancerunscripted.com. So you can watch other conversations and learn oh so much more. Nicole, again, thank you. And I don't know, do we say happy Breast Cancer Awareness Month? But anyway, it's nice to always meet you once a year this time of year.
00:37:01
Speaker 5: Yeah, same. Thank you for having me and thank you for all that you do.
00:37:05
Speaker 2: It's amazing.