Aug. 20, 2026
I’m Living With My Ex-Husband, And It’s Better Than You Could Imagine!
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RSS Feed Could you imagine living with your ex-husband after 30+ years? Kathy Swarts is connecting with Lynn Large, who’s going viral on TikTok for documenting her journey to becoming roommates with her ex-husband in her Chapter Two!
This episode will inspire you to find joy in your second act and show how choosing a non-traditional path can be fulfilling!
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
Follow I Do, Part 2 on Instagram and TikTok
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:15
Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two.
00:00:17
Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor, Kathy Schwartz, and today I get to connect with a real life single gal in her chapter two era, who is going viral on TikTok for sharing her nomadic life choices and recently moving back in with her ex husband from thirty two years ago. I can't wait to hear more about her inspiring story. Please welcome Lynn to the pod.
00:00:41
Speaker 1: Hi Lynn, Hi, how are you? I'm great? How are you doing.
00:00:46
Speaker 3: I'm awesome.
00:00:47
Speaker 2: It's great to meet you, and we're just I've got so much I want to talk to you about.
00:00:52
Speaker 3: Great.
00:00:52
Speaker 1: So this is I DO Part two.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: But before we can get into chapter two, we've got to start with your chapter one. So tell us all a little bit about your first marriage. How old you were at the time, all that?
00:01:05
Speaker 3: Oh, that's great. Well, I was in my early twenties, and I was I think about twenty four, twenty three, twenty four, and I was living in la and it was the early nineties and so much fun. So I had grown up. I was a dancer for most of my life, and so I had been in Europe for a two year stint and after that I was like I just can't go back to Memphis, Tennessee. So one of my girlfriends, ironically, I'm in her house right now in San Diego visiting her. But she had a dance squad of sorts called the All American Girls, and we performed for corporate events. So she said, come join my team, and so I did, and we were owned by the World Basketball League and then they folded, and so the team folded, and so I was at a crossroads. I was like, what am I going to do? Do I want to go back to Memphis or make it work in California. So, you know, I did what most of us did back then. I got a cocktail waitress job.
00:02:06
Speaker 1: You know, good tips, good tips, it used to be.
00:02:10
Speaker 3: For sure, right, I mean, you could go anywhere in America and really make a good living doing that. And so there was a brand new nightclub opening up in Beverly Hills called Tattoo tat Ou and they had outposts in New York and also Aspen, and so I went there and I got a job there as a cocktail waitress. And it was there that I met Rick. He was the bartender. And that was you know, because it was the early nineties, I mean, there was a lot of partying going on. It was just a great time, so much fun. It was the kind of the OJ Simpson era and all of that Nicole Brown Simpson. That Rick and I were off that night, or we had worked and then it was kind after our shift, and so we were sitting in one of the you know booths. They had these rounded booths, you know, so glamorous, and so we're sitting in one of the booths and he leans over to me and says, let's go get married. And we have been dating, you know, we had been dating for a while months, I mean months right now.
00:03:14
Speaker 1: How old are you at the time, ln, How old were you?
00:03:17
Speaker 3: You know, I'm around twenty three, twenty four years old, okay, which I have a daughter right now that's twenty four years old living here. So it's all just so surreal, the whole thing. And so we're the same age. He's actually a few months younger than me, and so okay, so we so he says, let's let's get married. And so we had been dating for a while and we were just we were so deeply madly in love. I mean, we were just he carried me wherever we went. You know, I mean, we were just all over each other all the time.
00:03:47
Speaker 1: It sounds idellic, lyn it sounds ideal, right, right, what can go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? You're gonna tell me.
00:03:58
Speaker 3: So anyway, So we leave and we go. We find this woman in the middle of the night that's willing to marry us. We like rouse her out of her out of bed, and so she's got her robe on and I think she puts a bagel in the in the toaster oven and she's eating her bagel, and you know, we're sitting down and you know, she marries us, okay, and we keep working at the bar, and we're just having a blast, roomming so much fun, and you know, on and on it goes, and we're still partying, you know, and which means drinking and drugging, you know, a little snorting a little of this, and drinking a lot of that. And and I it was working for me, you know, it was just really fun and we both were having a great time. And then there was something that happened where there was a time when I had gone to Las Vegas with a friend and it was during that trip that I realized that I had a problem that I couldn't stop, and it scared me. And I went back home to Rivic and I said, you know, I think I have a problem. And we're kids, I mean, you know, and he says, don't worry, we just won't do it anymore. And I was like, oh, thank goodness, you know, I'm so relieved, and you know, it's just going to dust it under the rug and it just won't be any problem. Well, a couple of nights later, I called him. He's at the bar and he's partying. He's having fun, you know. And what that did for me that Rip didn't do anything wrong. But what happened for me, because this is my story, is that I internalized that I was alone and that I didn't know. I just didn't have the tools. I didn't have the skills. I was just a young girl, and I didn't really know at the time that I could just ask somebody else. I could have called my mom, you know, I could have said to anybody. But I didn't. I really didn't know it, you know. And so what happened instead is that I continued to use and the shame spirals started. And so that's a very real thing, and a dick you know, so you know, you have this shame spiral and then the only thing that relieves that is yet another drink or drug, and then it just kind of starts the whole thing over and over. And so I was lying to Rick and hiding from him, and he trusted me so much because we did I mean, we were just like that. And I would just lie just to stay out, just to keep using, you know, and he'd be at home in bed and he's like, are you coming home? Like you know, And so eventually, over months, you know, I eventually just stopped coming home, and my parents, you know, my family was trying to find me and get involved in all of that. But fast forward all of that to say that we were married. For that was about eight months into the marriage where I stopped coming home, and so we actually got an annulment and he made all that happen, and I was glad to be rid of the marriage. It was terrible. I was just became kind of dead inside and just wanted to use. And then I hit bottom and I my dad came out and got me and I went to treatment for you know, a long time, for a year actually, and today I have been sober twenty eight years and rat wow. Yeah, Oh, it's amazing. It's the greatest thing. It's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And so it's part of like who I am. I love sharing my story because it's one of hope and it's possible, and you know, if it can happen for me, it can happen for anybody. And yeah, wow, So there's all that. You know, the I did end up marrying somebody else, and you know, so did Rick.
00:07:39
Speaker 1: Well wait a minute, I want to before you got into that.
00:07:42
Speaker 2: Did when you and Rick, when you had the marriage in Noll, did you guys keep in contact at all?
00:07:47
Speaker 1: Or did it with just a hard out?
00:07:49
Speaker 3: Yeah? So, well so because I was still a sick because I was a sick person.
00:07:55
Speaker 1: He was not.
00:07:56
Speaker 3: He was doing his own I can't speak for him, but because he was doing his own work and his own healing in his own way. It took me from the time that Rick and I got the annulment, it still took me a few years to get clean got it. So I was like in and out of rehabs. So for me, I was totally checked out. So I couldn't keep in touch with him because I was still sick. Yeah, so I so Rick had to do his own healing without me, so to speak, do you know what I mean?
00:08:27
Speaker 1: I think we all have to do our own healing, don't you.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: Ultimately yes, but to answer, just in the moment, we didn't stay in touch. So he Yeah, so he did what he did, and then I kept kind of using an in and out and all of that. And then once I worked the steps of AA and I got to be amend's part. You know, I made my amends.
00:08:49
Speaker 2: With Rick, and I'm very familiar with AA, so I understand what that is, the twelve step program. So after how much later you did get married a second time? Tell us a little bit about that. How long it lasted, kids, all of that.
00:09:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, so I got married probably a year outside of when I stayed in the rehab for a year, and then I was married within a year after that. So I was thirty one years old when I got married, and I spent my thirtieth birthday, and so I was probably thirty two actually when I got married, and we maybe even thirty three. It's funny, you know, I don't think about the days, but yeah, I had my first daughter when I was thirty four, and my second when I was thirty nine. And so I got pregnant on my honeymoon with my second husband, so that was probably thirty three, right, wow. Yeah, and so yeah, so we were married for seven eight years. We were married for eight years, and I have now not been married for eighteen years. So just to kind of fast fact, So, yes, I have two amazing, gorgeous daughters who have never seen their mom hire drunk or anything. I've always been, I know, breaking the cycle.
00:10:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're breaking the cycle. Your smile, I mean, you have the energy. I'm curious though, the first marriage no kids and annulled. The second marriage two daughters. Yeah, when did you start feeling so that complicates things?
00:10:17
Speaker 1: Right?
00:10:17
Speaker 2: When did you start feeling much so that things weren't working out in that marriage?
00:10:23
Speaker 3: You know, if I'm really honest, which I am, I had concerns from the beginning. You know, I was right out of rehab. I did not know who I was. I had so much going on, you know, and I was frightened. You know, I was a really frightened person. I had burned all my bridges I had, you know, was again fresh out of rehab. And like really didn't know what to do with myself and my second husband. You know, his name is Steve, and he is very white Night, you know, I mean, he is the quintessential White Night. Yeah, and so I just freaking fell like cook Line and Sinker. I mean, he was wanted to save me, and I was like, well, I obviously need to be saved. But I did have you know, I have a really close relationship with the God of my understanding, and so I did have this sort of back ground, like you it's your choice, but you know maybe.
00:11:20
Speaker 2: You know, so was the if you will, with the hurdle realizing that you sort of had to find out who you were in that marriage that you felt like, as you say, he was the white Knight he rescued you. Did you begin to feel I don't need rescuing.
00:11:36
Speaker 3: That's exactly what happened. So I had such a kick ass program in recovery, I mean, and I just I really got to work on myself. I mean I really set to becoming a whole person. And I had a great sponsor, and I worked the stuff. I did everything she told me to do. I took every everything I wanted it so badly.
00:12:00
Speaker 2: A Walking Talking advertisement for AA twelve. I'm just going to say, I'm very familiar with the program, and you have definitely.
00:12:07
Speaker 1: Worked it, for sure.
00:12:08
Speaker 3: I have worked it.
00:12:10
Speaker 2: Okay, So, now you've been single eighteen years, you decided to start living this nomad, you know, kind of life after your second divorce. I'm so curious because I was married almost forty six years. So this I find this fascinating. Why did you choose that path? And then, you know, why did you choose that path rather than staying where you were and rebuilding your life in the same area that you'd been in.
00:12:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, so I haven't been married for eighteen years, so I've been single rebuilding my life in Sarasota all this time, right up until two and a half years ago. So what I did is when I left the marriage, I moved into a house with my daughters and we were sharing custody. And I had been a stay at home mom, So I was like, what am I going to do, you know, to like support myself and I you know, as a dancer for many years, I know about nutrition. I've got a farmer's market mom. I'm a farmer's market girl. You know, grew up in the South. I know all about it. I know about the benefits of food as medicine, all of that. And so I when I left the marriage with my sec with Seve, I started getting depressed, and you know, I didn't want to take because of my recovery, I did not want to take an antidepressant, but I ended up taking one because I was started snapping at my girls and I was I was noticing myself, like my my restless, irritable and discontent was like cropping up. And that scared me. And so I did take an antidepressant for you maybe a year or so. But within that time, I don't remember which came first, but I decided to do a juice clean for myself. And nobody in my town was doing them. So I put together this this raw food and juice cleans. I did it for five days and I just it really just reset me in a way that yeah, wow, just everything you know, really just reset me. And so I started carrying my little juice around. And you know, this was I was maybe forty two or something like that. I was carrying my juice around and people were saying, you know, where did you get that? What are you doing? And do it for me, do it for me. And so I started taking groups of ten people at a time and doing it out of my house and doing this food and juice cleanse. And so one of my neighbors came over and I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do for work, you know, I'm just what am I going to do? I'd been working at this deli part time, and I just couldn't figure it out because I wanted to be home with my girls. So that's why I was trying to make it work. That was my value, right, Yeah. And so because obviously I could just go get a corporate job, but I didn't want to do that.
00:14:57
Speaker 2: Well, especially what you'd been through, I think you realized the importance of family and raising your kids, I mean clearly, And.
00:15:04
Speaker 3: It was just a decision I made. It was like I want to do it this way, and and I'm still like that. I think I'm just wired that way too, you know. And and they were little, I mean they were two and seven, they were.
00:15:15
Speaker 2: Babies, which can I just say, as uh, what you'd been through and then to start raising a two year old and a seven year old on your own is just it's addable.
00:15:25
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the that's the least of it is. How admirable?
00:15:28
Speaker 3: Oh well thanks?
00:15:41
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's fast forward to now.
00:15:44
Speaker 2: You started sharing your nomadic lifestyle on TikTok, which got my attention. What has the response been from other single women? Let's start there.
00:15:54
Speaker 3: You know what, so what about the about the nomadic stuff?
00:15:57
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you you recently really okay did we all know this? Back to California, you're in now roommates with your first ex husband thirty two years ago.
00:16:07
Speaker 1: You're sharing it.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: All on TikTok, and as I just said, it's getting a lot of attention. Yes, how did that idea to live together again come to fruition?
00:16:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, you know, it's a lot, it's a long life to like, you know, cram into a cute little podcast, right, And so I'm like, how, I mean, you know, we want to wrap it up a little bit, but it's like it's been a journey and so basically, let's see, so the nomadic thing happened when both of my girls left home. They said, we don't want to be in Sarasota anymore. Essentially, I mean, this is just a very short, hard and fast yeah conversation. But essentially, both my girls did not want to stay in Sarasota. My oldest daughter moved to California and I in the day she moved to California, Mackenzie and I dropped dropped her off at the airport. We came back to the house and we looked at each other and we were like, this, ain't it. We don't want to be here without her, you know, we just it just it was really hard. So then, so basically what happened is I had this business for twelve years. I had a cold press juice company. Is where I was leading to, Yes, it's okay. I had that for twelve years, and I literally carried that thing on my back. It was my identity, it was my whole life. But I was able to stay at home with the girls. They became part of my business. I had a food truck for seven years. I had a brick and mortar for three years. But essentially why I came to the nomadic lifestyle is that after COVID. Once COVID happened, I you know, it became harder and harder to sustain my company for various reasons, from we don't have to get into but suffice it to say. I was just like, this is just not working anymore. I just don't want to do this anymore. I mean, my feet started hurting my body. This is important, this is this is what I'm going to say right now is important. My body started giving me cues like heysis, Hey, I don't know what you're doing, but we're not going with you. So you're going to need to do something different or we're going to break down completely. And so it was kind of a whisper. It was kind of a you know, and then it started getting like I started with my feet, so my feet because I was standing for twelve I tell people I stood for twelve years basically, you know, literally, you know, and it just you can't do that and not have consequences in your body.
00:18:35
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:18:35
Speaker 2: Well, and I will say, yeah, I think a lot of people don't listen to their bodies.
00:18:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, the body speaks first, right, well, the ego speaks first, but you know, the body doesn't lie. That's what I meant to say, You're right, and yeah, so the body doesn't lie. So I started, you know, listening, and I have a coach. I've had a coach for eighteen years since I was going through my divorce with you know, their dad, and and so we just started working this, you know, like, what am I going to do? What are my options?
00:19:07
Speaker 2: You know?
00:19:07
Speaker 3: This is my livelihood, this is my identity, this is my whole life. This is how I've raised my daughter's this is where I am, this is I pay for everything this way. You know, I don't want to go work for somebody else. What can pay me enough? Where do I don't even want If I did something else, I wouldn't even want to be in Sarasota. So it was just listening, journaling my coach talking about it. Telling the truth, you know, the number one tool is, you know, go to observation, like what's happening, Tell the truth about it, write it down, tell your trusted friend, your trusted coach, you know. And so I really went to work on this. And I have the skills because of my recovery and my history and all of these things. So they've just expanded over the years and deepened in different different ways. And so so that's kind of what I did in a nutshell well with my coach, And there are very specific steps I did but essentially I got to the place where I was like, I will walk out this door of this company and leave the key behind, like I'm not attached, I don't care. Something's got to change. And then I met my friend Peter quickly. He was a nomad, and so I was like, I want to do what you're doing. And so I saw it in somebody else and this is the way life is, right, Yeah, that's why you and I are on this podcast.
00:20:30
Speaker 2: Yes, And I will say that's not coincidental that, you know, this all came to be with Peter.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: I would say I would definitely say that as well. And so I said to him, how do I do what you're doing? And he said, well, the first thing you gotta do is eliminate your fixed expenses. And I just sat back and I was like, I mean, I was just trying to keep the lights on. I mean, I didn't have some p and L with like, oh well, let me just go to my book, my accountant. And you know, it wasn't that. It was like fix expenses. What's it? You know, what's a face expense kind of thing? You know, really like, what are my fixed expenses? And I started going through them in my head. But essentially I got rid of my fixed expenses. It took me about a year and a half to three years. The timing's a little shady for me.
00:21:14
Speaker 2: But so you get rid of a minute fixed expenses, I mean obviously my business, apartment, apartment's business.
00:21:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, employees, everything. Yeah, even like you like my cell phone bill. It was like, okay, well I have a cell phone bill. That's a fixed expence. But I have to have a cell phone bill. But I spent two days getting my phone bill down to twenty five dollars a month. Like that's a thing. Now you can get unlimited. Did you know that?
00:21:38
Speaker 1: No, but but I want to hear about it.
00:21:41
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, then I got to tell you you're talking me into becoming a nomad, So keep talking.
00:21:46
Speaker 3: I know, I know. So essentially I got my fixed sixpences down to just a few hundred dollars a month, and now they are just I'm into AI and workflows and marketing and I love helping businesses and all that stuff. So I have membership, you know, my subscriptions to Claude and you know, chat ebt and all that kind of stuff. And that's that's probably the bulk of it. My car insurance is one hundred dollars a month. I kept my car, which is paid for. I shipped it out to California and it's here with me now, which is so fun. And so yeah, my car insurance is my biggest expense. I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of that. But don't I'm like, what state do you not have to have car insurance?
00:22:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm saying your thinking as you're talking.
00:22:28
Speaker 2: I'm thinking I got to pay the Oh, I forgot to pay my electric bill. I mean, I'm literally listening to you.
00:22:32
Speaker 3: I know.
00:22:33
Speaker 1: Wow. So okay, so.
00:22:36
Speaker 2: You are now well right now you're in San Diego, but you are how is it working? Can you tell me a little bit about how it's going with living with your ex husband because for listeners who might say, you know, is she going backward in time? Is she trying to renew a relationship? Does all those questions?
00:22:57
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, So you had asked me kind of how it came to be that, and I even got to this place, and so I would say that once my daughter moved here, you know, I wanted to come visit a bunch, right, So I would come out, I would stay with friends. I would stay with my daughter. Well that's not really working out right now. She doesn't have enough room. So so I called Rick and I said, hey, you know, I'm coming into town. Are you around And he said, you know, actually I'm going to be gone. It was my birthday this year in March, and he said, you can stay in the apartment. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to stay in the marital apartment like myself. This is so cool. So really March of this year was the first time that I stayed there. I had stayed before, but he that's we don't need to go into that. So anyway, I stayed there by myself. My best friend flew out. I had I have some girlfriends here, like part of why I'm here right now, as I was a pompom girl in college. So we're having a pom Pom reunion. So all my pomp Pom girlfriends came and we had this party in my old apartment. It was like just so surreal. I had that so surreal. Yeah, so I went. So I left because I'm nomadic. I went to Maui to help a friend. I'm doing a lot of that kind of stuff. So I went to help a friend. I was coming back through Ring Ring Now I got Rick, right, I'm like, oh, he let me stay there last time, Maybe let me stay again, you know, just asking. And he said, well, I'm going to be here, but you can stay, you know. And I thought, oh my gosh, I'm going to actually stay with Rick in the apartment. This is so weird, you know. And of course, naturally my brain is flooded with are we going to kiss? Am I going to be attracted to him? Is it going to be weird? Am I gonna? I mean, what's gonna happen? You know, Because I'm a female, I'm a girl, I'm a human. It's just the human experience, you know, exact. And so he graciously let me stay in the can bedroom. And it was so much fun. It was just so much fun. It was just friends. It was natural. It was so much fun. I told him make a list. You know, I'm like a helper person, like I have no technology, I can do all these things. He was like, okay, So we organized some of his closet. I helped him with this remote controls. You know, we just did this whole little fun exchange, right wow. And then when I set to leave. Now this is where it kind of weaves, because I had set in my mind that I wanted in my nomad life that I wanted to spend a year in California. And I had a vision of I want to go up and down the coast and see my pompom girlfriends, see my daughter as much as possible, and frankly, just be back in California. I love it here.
00:25:49
Speaker 1: I mean, who, why wouldn't you love being in California.
00:25:51
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't I love being in California?
00:25:53
Speaker 1: Other than the terrible weather they have.
00:25:55
Speaker 3: I know, it's awful. And so so when I went to leave, when it was the day for me to leave, Rick invited me to come back and just said, you know, would you like to come back? And I said, I know, I thought you'd never ask, you know, And he said, do you want some drawer? You want to keep some of your stuff here? And you know, I just there's two little tiny drawers and I just put a sweater and some shoes in there, you know, just like, you know, just like a tiny little token of I don't know what this is.
00:26:27
Speaker 2: Well, I would, yeah, kind of planting, just planting a piece of stability, A tiny piece of stability, thank you.
00:26:34
Speaker 3: Yes, So I did that. I went back home and then I kind of got my deal together and just to ship my car and close down my sister. I've been staying at my sisters in Sarasota. That it's been my We're really just talking about a home base is the language as a nomad, So ideally you have a home base, and so my sisters was my home base. So I shut that all down and got my car ready and my clothes and all that, and then I, you know, back to California. I guess I've been here three weeks now, and so so what happened is I've had no traction on TikTok. I've been posting since I had my juice company and just you know, having fun like nothing. And then one day on the beach, I just said, it's like nineteen days until I relocate to California. We're I'll be living out my next chapter, you know, staying with my rooming with my ex husband from thirty two years ago in our marital apartment. And like I woke up to just I guess they call it going viral, you know, and I was like, that is wild to me, you know, it just was so shocking.
00:27:40
Speaker 2: Well here's the thing, Lenn, Yeah, to you maybe, but to those of us who are planted firmly, you know, Tara firma for years and years the idea of initiating a nomadic life A and then b moving into, as you said, the marital apartment with your I.
00:28:00
Speaker 1: Mean, that's not something that you know, we read every day. It's not something that people do. You know.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: People are afraid to get out of marriages never mind, you know, they they stick with what they know. And here you are, just a burgeoning life of freedom and with apparently your ex husband of thirty two years.
00:28:23
Speaker 1: Interesting it is, well, thank you for you know.
00:28:26
Speaker 3: And I you know, because of the way I see the world I look at I'm just I'm just looking. I read every comment, you know, and I know that we're all mirrors for each other. Yes, right, I'm a mirror for everybody watching and commenting and listening and looking and interested. It's not even about me, It's about It's about that, you know. And so I'm my hunch and I love I love hearing from you about kind of the other side because I'm so curious, you know, And so I'm thinking, Wow, this is really people are really looking longing or there's something there for Is it the love piece, is it the freedom piece? Is it that I'm happy piece? Is it all of it?
00:29:09
Speaker 1: Well?
00:29:09
Speaker 2: I think I think it's all of that. I think people would be curious. You know, you've been married twice. Do you believe in love? Do you believe in marriage? Do you believe you're going to have another relationship? I think those go along with the decisions you've made.
00:29:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, I wonder what she's gonna ask me? And I had a feeling you might you might ask that, and so I was just kind of thinking about it walking around the house here. And you know, the truth is is I absolutely believe in marriage. I absolutely believe in love. I absolutely would It would be so super fun to have someone to live life with and create a life with at fifty eight years old. And you know, I would say, you know, I try to choose my words, but I mean, I'm not actively looking. I just but I'm open. My heart is open. I am I am able to give and receive love. I have found other ways to give and receive love and receive human touch, which I think is something that is not talked about, but just needing you know, hugs and touch and you know that sort of right, Yeah, I agree, finding healthy ways to get that outside of a love relationship.
00:30:26
Speaker 2: Or a traditional yeah yeah, a latch on my kid. So I think that's just part of it. I mean, you have so many elements. Obviously you have an entrepreneurial mind. You've created this life for yourself that is amazing, and people are voyeurs. They want to know, wow, what is she doing? So when you put something like that on TikTok, of course it's going to generate questions and comments and and so I think that's what the where the interest lies.
00:30:56
Speaker 1: I again, my life. I was married at twenty.
00:31:00
Speaker 2: My husband died when I was sixty five, so I was you know, a very different story, right. But so many things you're saying I agree with. Now I'm building a life for myself. It's just looks different than how you're building your life. Yes, but all those things physical touch and experiences and meeting people and trying new things. Because we only go around this world once. I think most people, if they're not experiencing that, want to feel that. And you're sort of a model You're representing what it could look like.
00:31:29
Speaker 3: Love that. Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, that's great. That's great.
00:31:43
Speaker 2: For people who are listening right now who are divorced on their own whatever and they feel way down by that experience.
00:31:51
Speaker 1: I don't have that experience of.
00:31:52
Speaker 2: Divorce, But those people who are feeling, you know, way down by that experience, what advice would you give them to help them lift themselves, you know, out of the sadness.
00:32:04
Speaker 3: Well, one tool that I have that immediately comes to mind is one that I've been practicing, ironically for the last three years when I'm not really down. But it's I wish I had known it when I was down right. So, and it's this notion of being with yourself while you're there and what that that that's respecting yourself. So respecting yourself by being with yourself in that moment and giving a shut about yourself to the point of where you you're with yourself in it. You write it down, you make it important, you make it important, you write it down, you talk about it, you stay with it, and there's something about that that helps it go faster, you know, get through it faster. You know. Somebody said once a feeling's job is to be felt, and when it's felt, it moves on right. But and then just staying the course, you know, like staying the course, you know, knowing what your values are. I mean, values are so critical because my values shape my future decisions, you know, and so we don't want to make the same mistakes and that sort of thing.
00:33:18
Speaker 2: I think one thing you're I hate the word because it's so overused now, but practicing gratitude.
00:33:25
Speaker 3: Gratitude huge, yeah, for.
00:33:27
Speaker 1: Me, it's huge.
00:33:28
Speaker 2: But the other thing, and I thought you were going there for me after my husband died, I had to learn, as you just said, to be with myself. Yes, And but the other thing was loving myself and being better than okay with who I am.
00:33:44
Speaker 1: And I think you have found that. That's how it seems to me.
00:33:47
Speaker 2: It's I think so many of us, and so many people out there, particularly going through divorce, are struggling with self.
00:33:54
Speaker 3: I would say one hundred percent. And I get that. And when you said earlier, you know, people can't even imagine leaving me marriages, you know, And that just went right to my heart because I see that so much fear fear. Yeah, and listen, there's pros and cons with both. My best friend she's married forever. And I'm like, yeah, that's a tick in your column.
00:34:13
Speaker 1: You know, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
00:34:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well it is for now, you know, it appears right.
00:34:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's it's very It's just there are different paths, and again, I think your path is just so interesting that you've committed to this life at least for a year, maybe longer.
00:34:35
Speaker 1: Talking just a little bit more about divorce. You know, I have a lot of friends who are divorced.
00:34:40
Speaker 2: We all do, and we hear, at least I hear people talking a lot about what they've lost in a do you know we lose in a divorce? What have you gained from your divorces?
00:34:53
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow, I thought you were going to say what have you lost? Because I was like, oh, I could.
00:34:56
Speaker 1: Go there, Well go both, go go give me both.
00:35:00
Speaker 3: You know. Listen, you know my tagline on TikTok as we live the life we focus on. So I was just sharing with a girlfriend yesterday. I told her I was going to be doing this podcast with you, and I said, you know, I mean, things are not you know, social media is a highlight reel. We all know this, right, So but I choose, I actively choose the gratitude posture, right service posture, the you know, serving others is like, I mean, it's so not sexy. It's just not sexy at all. It's not like not going to get followers or anything like that. But literally being of maximum service to others is like the key to life. I mean, I just so there's that side note, but so yeah, I mean I would say that one of the not so sexy, fun great things about being nomadic potentially is there's you have to be okay with a lot of uncertainty, you know, a lot of uncertainty, and you know, be prepared to you know of it at any given moment, you know, and not I don't. I don't have a certain amount of income coming in, Like I'm relying on gigs and collaborations and side hustles and yeah, but that's by design. I want it that way.
00:36:16
Speaker 2: But that but it does take courage land and as women, yes it does. You know, in this old patriarchal society we're in, we've been trained not to do that, to plant our feet firmly and gig roots. So again, I think, so you you did share this beautiful video about how it at fifty eight you're feeling so happy, Yeah, from the inside out. And for people fifty plus to not think that their best years are behind them. This struck me because I'm seventy three and I do not believe my best Thank you. I do not, as are you. I do not believe my best years are behind.
00:36:54
Speaker 1: Me at all.
00:36:55
Speaker 2: But what things today at this moment bring you happiness? I mean you've touched on a few, but I just want to make sure we're covering all the bases there.
00:37:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, what things make me happy? Make me feel happy.
00:37:05
Speaker 1: In this way? Yeah? Right now? In your life?
00:37:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, being with my being with people. I love, being with people I love. I was so isolated in my marriage, in my marriage, my second marriage, and my business. It really isolated me. And so that's the nomadic thing. I'm staying with people. That's the choice I've made because I don't want to be by myself. And that goes into the marriage thing, future love and all of that. Because I don't have a life partner, I'm creating it in other ways. I'm finding and getting my needs met through friendships and I have men in my life that you know, I can get a hug from or whatever right.
00:37:42
Speaker 1: Or whatever else you want or whatever.
00:37:45
Speaker 3: All you gotta do is ask right.
00:37:47
Speaker 2: Sometimes you don't even have to do that. It's just a look sometimes just a look. I mean we say some as we say men are big dom manumals. No, but they can read an eye.
00:37:56
Speaker 3: Yes they can, Yes they can. You be my daughter's animals nature, you know, laughing TikTok. I love TikTok. I mean it's like it makes me laugh. I mean those scaring videos where they scare people. I mean I'm just like sending them to my sister, you know. I mean I'm a juvenile in a lot of ways.
00:38:17
Speaker 1: I don't think that at all.
00:38:18
Speaker 2: I think you're someone who is in touch with your life and is building the best uh life that you possibly can. And I think you're I think you are a model for people to look at to see how they could restructure their life if they're in a rut, or they're unhappy, or they're divorced.
00:38:37
Speaker 1: I mean could go on and on.
00:38:39
Speaker 2: So I am I keep sorally enjoyed this and and thank you You're amazing. You can follow along with Lynn's journey on TikTok at Lynn at Large.
00:38:52
Speaker 3: Yeap, my last name is Large. Just for the record, so that's kind of fun.
00:38:56
Speaker 2: Well that was just that was that was a lucky happens to ants, wasn't it.
00:39:01
Speaker 3: Yes, it was. That's my favorite thing I got back after my marriage, after my second marriage is I went back and reclaimed my maiden name. So I just got that back a couple of years ago, and it's like my favorite thing I've done so far.
00:39:14
Speaker 2: It's just another It's just another point of strength for you, as far as I'm concerned.
00:39:19
Speaker 3: Thank you, It's an honor to be with you.
00:39:21
Speaker 2: Well, thank you. I appreciate it. And are you trying to navigate your chapter two and need some advice? Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the infos in the show notes, and follow us on socials I do Part two and iHeart Podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Speaker 1: Hey, I do Part two.
00:00:17
Speaker 2: It's your celebrity mentor, Kathy Schwartz, and today I get to connect with a real life single gal in her chapter two era, who is going viral on TikTok for sharing her nomadic life choices and recently moving back in with her ex husband from thirty two years ago. I can't wait to hear more about her inspiring story. Please welcome Lynn to the pod.
00:00:41
Speaker 1: Hi Lynn, Hi, how are you? I'm great? How are you doing.
00:00:46
Speaker 3: I'm awesome.
00:00:47
Speaker 2: It's great to meet you, and we're just I've got so much I want to talk to you about.
00:00:52
Speaker 3: Great.
00:00:52
Speaker 1: So this is I DO Part two.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: But before we can get into chapter two, we've got to start with your chapter one. So tell us all a little bit about your first marriage. How old you were at the time, all that?
00:01:05
Speaker 3: Oh, that's great. Well, I was in my early twenties, and I was I think about twenty four, twenty three, twenty four, and I was living in la and it was the early nineties and so much fun. So I had grown up. I was a dancer for most of my life, and so I had been in Europe for a two year stint and after that I was like I just can't go back to Memphis, Tennessee. So one of my girlfriends, ironically, I'm in her house right now in San Diego visiting her. But she had a dance squad of sorts called the All American Girls, and we performed for corporate events. So she said, come join my team, and so I did, and we were owned by the World Basketball League and then they folded, and so the team folded, and so I was at a crossroads. I was like, what am I going to do? Do I want to go back to Memphis or make it work in California. So, you know, I did what most of us did back then. I got a cocktail waitress job.
00:02:06
Speaker 1: You know, good tips, good tips, it used to be.
00:02:10
Speaker 3: For sure, right, I mean, you could go anywhere in America and really make a good living doing that. And so there was a brand new nightclub opening up in Beverly Hills called Tattoo tat Ou and they had outposts in New York and also Aspen, and so I went there and I got a job there as a cocktail waitress. And it was there that I met Rick. He was the bartender. And that was you know, because it was the early nineties, I mean, there was a lot of partying going on. It was just a great time, so much fun. It was the kind of the OJ Simpson era and all of that Nicole Brown Simpson. That Rick and I were off that night, or we had worked and then it was kind after our shift, and so we were sitting in one of the you know booths. They had these rounded booths, you know, so glamorous, and so we're sitting in one of the booths and he leans over to me and says, let's go get married. And we have been dating, you know, we had been dating for a while months, I mean months right now.
00:03:14
Speaker 1: How old are you at the time, ln, How old were you?
00:03:17
Speaker 3: You know, I'm around twenty three, twenty four years old, okay, which I have a daughter right now that's twenty four years old living here. So it's all just so surreal, the whole thing. And so we're the same age. He's actually a few months younger than me, and so okay, so we so he says, let's let's get married. And so we had been dating for a while and we were just we were so deeply madly in love. I mean, we were just he carried me wherever we went. You know, I mean, we were just all over each other all the time.
00:03:47
Speaker 1: It sounds idellic, lyn it sounds ideal, right, right, what can go wrong? What could possibly go wrong? You're gonna tell me.
00:03:58
Speaker 3: So anyway, So we leave and we go. We find this woman in the middle of the night that's willing to marry us. We like rouse her out of her out of bed, and so she's got her robe on and I think she puts a bagel in the in the toaster oven and she's eating her bagel, and you know, we're sitting down and you know, she marries us, okay, and we keep working at the bar, and we're just having a blast, roomming so much fun, and you know, on and on it goes, and we're still partying, you know, and which means drinking and drugging, you know, a little snorting a little of this, and drinking a lot of that. And and I it was working for me, you know, it was just really fun and we both were having a great time. And then there was something that happened where there was a time when I had gone to Las Vegas with a friend and it was during that trip that I realized that I had a problem that I couldn't stop, and it scared me. And I went back home to Rivic and I said, you know, I think I have a problem. And we're kids, I mean, you know, and he says, don't worry, we just won't do it anymore. And I was like, oh, thank goodness, you know, I'm so relieved, and you know, it's just going to dust it under the rug and it just won't be any problem. Well, a couple of nights later, I called him. He's at the bar and he's partying. He's having fun, you know. And what that did for me that Rip didn't do anything wrong. But what happened for me, because this is my story, is that I internalized that I was alone and that I didn't know. I just didn't have the tools. I didn't have the skills. I was just a young girl, and I didn't really know at the time that I could just ask somebody else. I could have called my mom, you know, I could have said to anybody. But I didn't. I really didn't know it, you know. And so what happened instead is that I continued to use and the shame spirals started. And so that's a very real thing, and a dick you know, so you know, you have this shame spiral and then the only thing that relieves that is yet another drink or drug, and then it just kind of starts the whole thing over and over. And so I was lying to Rick and hiding from him, and he trusted me so much because we did I mean, we were just like that. And I would just lie just to stay out, just to keep using, you know, and he'd be at home in bed and he's like, are you coming home? Like you know, And so eventually, over months, you know, I eventually just stopped coming home, and my parents, you know, my family was trying to find me and get involved in all of that. But fast forward all of that to say that we were married. For that was about eight months into the marriage where I stopped coming home, and so we actually got an annulment and he made all that happen, and I was glad to be rid of the marriage. It was terrible. I was just became kind of dead inside and just wanted to use. And then I hit bottom and I my dad came out and got me and I went to treatment for you know, a long time, for a year actually, and today I have been sober twenty eight years and rat wow. Yeah, Oh, it's amazing. It's the greatest thing. It's one of the best things that's ever happened to me. And so it's part of like who I am. I love sharing my story because it's one of hope and it's possible, and you know, if it can happen for me, it can happen for anybody. And yeah, wow, So there's all that. You know, the I did end up marrying somebody else, and you know, so did Rick.
00:07:39
Speaker 1: Well wait a minute, I want to before you got into that.
00:07:42
Speaker 2: Did when you and Rick, when you had the marriage in Noll, did you guys keep in contact at all?
00:07:47
Speaker 1: Or did it with just a hard out?
00:07:49
Speaker 3: Yeah? So, well so because I was still a sick because I was a sick person.
00:07:55
Speaker 1: He was not.
00:07:56
Speaker 3: He was doing his own I can't speak for him, but because he was doing his own work and his own healing in his own way. It took me from the time that Rick and I got the annulment, it still took me a few years to get clean got it. So I was like in and out of rehabs. So for me, I was totally checked out. So I couldn't keep in touch with him because I was still sick. Yeah, so I so Rick had to do his own healing without me, so to speak, do you know what I mean?
00:08:27
Speaker 1: I think we all have to do our own healing, don't you.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: Ultimately yes, but to answer, just in the moment, we didn't stay in touch. So he Yeah, so he did what he did, and then I kept kind of using an in and out and all of that. And then once I worked the steps of AA and I got to be amend's part. You know, I made my amends.
00:08:49
Speaker 2: With Rick, and I'm very familiar with AA, so I understand what that is, the twelve step program. So after how much later you did get married a second time? Tell us a little bit about that. How long it lasted, kids, all of that.
00:09:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, so I got married probably a year outside of when I stayed in the rehab for a year, and then I was married within a year after that. So I was thirty one years old when I got married, and I spent my thirtieth birthday, and so I was probably thirty two actually when I got married, and we maybe even thirty three. It's funny, you know, I don't think about the days, but yeah, I had my first daughter when I was thirty four, and my second when I was thirty nine. And so I got pregnant on my honeymoon with my second husband, so that was probably thirty three, right, wow. Yeah, and so yeah, so we were married for seven eight years. We were married for eight years, and I have now not been married for eighteen years. So just to kind of fast fact, So, yes, I have two amazing, gorgeous daughters who have never seen their mom hire drunk or anything. I've always been, I know, breaking the cycle.
00:10:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're breaking the cycle. Your smile, I mean, you have the energy. I'm curious though, the first marriage no kids and annulled. The second marriage two daughters. Yeah, when did you start feeling so that complicates things?
00:10:17
Speaker 1: Right?
00:10:17
Speaker 2: When did you start feeling much so that things weren't working out in that marriage?
00:10:23
Speaker 3: You know, if I'm really honest, which I am, I had concerns from the beginning. You know, I was right out of rehab. I did not know who I was. I had so much going on, you know, and I was frightened. You know, I was a really frightened person. I had burned all my bridges I had, you know, was again fresh out of rehab. And like really didn't know what to do with myself and my second husband. You know, his name is Steve, and he is very white Night, you know, I mean, he is the quintessential White Night. Yeah, and so I just freaking fell like cook Line and Sinker. I mean, he was wanted to save me, and I was like, well, I obviously need to be saved. But I did have you know, I have a really close relationship with the God of my understanding, and so I did have this sort of back ground, like you it's your choice, but you know maybe.
00:11:20
Speaker 2: You know, so was the if you will, with the hurdle realizing that you sort of had to find out who you were in that marriage that you felt like, as you say, he was the white Knight he rescued you. Did you begin to feel I don't need rescuing.
00:11:36
Speaker 3: That's exactly what happened. So I had such a kick ass program in recovery, I mean, and I just I really got to work on myself. I mean I really set to becoming a whole person. And I had a great sponsor, and I worked the stuff. I did everything she told me to do. I took every everything I wanted it so badly.
00:12:00
Speaker 2: A Walking Talking advertisement for AA twelve. I'm just going to say, I'm very familiar with the program, and you have definitely.
00:12:07
Speaker 1: Worked it, for sure.
00:12:08
Speaker 3: I have worked it.
00:12:10
Speaker 2: Okay, So, now you've been single eighteen years, you decided to start living this nomad, you know, kind of life after your second divorce. I'm so curious because I was married almost forty six years. So this I find this fascinating. Why did you choose that path? And then, you know, why did you choose that path rather than staying where you were and rebuilding your life in the same area that you'd been in.
00:12:36
Speaker 3: Yeah, well, so I haven't been married for eighteen years, so I've been single rebuilding my life in Sarasota all this time, right up until two and a half years ago. So what I did is when I left the marriage, I moved into a house with my daughters and we were sharing custody. And I had been a stay at home mom, So I was like, what am I going to do, you know, to like support myself and I you know, as a dancer for many years, I know about nutrition. I've got a farmer's market mom. I'm a farmer's market girl. You know, grew up in the South. I know all about it. I know about the benefits of food as medicine, all of that. And so I when I left the marriage with my sec with Seve, I started getting depressed, and you know, I didn't want to take because of my recovery, I did not want to take an antidepressant, but I ended up taking one because I was started snapping at my girls and I was I was noticing myself, like my my restless, irritable and discontent was like cropping up. And that scared me. And so I did take an antidepressant for you maybe a year or so. But within that time, I don't remember which came first, but I decided to do a juice clean for myself. And nobody in my town was doing them. So I put together this this raw food and juice cleans. I did it for five days and I just it really just reset me in a way that yeah, wow, just everything you know, really just reset me. And so I started carrying my little juice around. And you know, this was I was maybe forty two or something like that. I was carrying my juice around and people were saying, you know, where did you get that? What are you doing? And do it for me, do it for me. And so I started taking groups of ten people at a time and doing it out of my house and doing this food and juice cleanse. And so one of my neighbors came over and I was like, I don't know what I'm going to do for work, you know, I'm just what am I going to do? I'd been working at this deli part time, and I just couldn't figure it out because I wanted to be home with my girls. So that's why I was trying to make it work. That was my value, right, Yeah. And so because obviously I could just go get a corporate job, but I didn't want to do that.
00:14:57
Speaker 2: Well, especially what you'd been through, I think you realized the importance of family and raising your kids, I mean clearly, And.
00:15:04
Speaker 3: It was just a decision I made. It was like I want to do it this way, and and I'm still like that. I think I'm just wired that way too, you know. And and they were little, I mean they were two and seven, they were.
00:15:15
Speaker 2: Babies, which can I just say, as uh, what you'd been through and then to start raising a two year old and a seven year old on your own is just it's addable.
00:15:25
Speaker 1: I mean, that's the that's the least of it is. How admirable?
00:15:28
Speaker 3: Oh well thanks?
00:15:41
Speaker 1: Okay, so let's fast forward to now.
00:15:44
Speaker 2: You started sharing your nomadic lifestyle on TikTok, which got my attention. What has the response been from other single women? Let's start there.
00:15:54
Speaker 3: You know what, so what about the about the nomadic stuff?
00:15:57
Speaker 2: Well, I mean you you recently really okay did we all know this? Back to California, you're in now roommates with your first ex husband thirty two years ago.
00:16:07
Speaker 1: You're sharing it.
00:16:08
Speaker 2: All on TikTok, and as I just said, it's getting a lot of attention. Yes, how did that idea to live together again come to fruition?
00:16:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, that's a great question. I mean, you know, it's a lot, it's a long life to like, you know, cram into a cute little podcast, right, And so I'm like, how, I mean, you know, we want to wrap it up a little bit, but it's like it's been a journey and so basically, let's see, so the nomadic thing happened when both of my girls left home. They said, we don't want to be in Sarasota anymore. Essentially, I mean, this is just a very short, hard and fast yeah conversation. But essentially, both my girls did not want to stay in Sarasota. My oldest daughter moved to California and I in the day she moved to California, Mackenzie and I dropped dropped her off at the airport. We came back to the house and we looked at each other and we were like, this, ain't it. We don't want to be here without her, you know, we just it just it was really hard. So then, so basically what happened is I had this business for twelve years. I had a cold press juice company. Is where I was leading to, Yes, it's okay. I had that for twelve years, and I literally carried that thing on my back. It was my identity, it was my whole life. But I was able to stay at home with the girls. They became part of my business. I had a food truck for seven years. I had a brick and mortar for three years. But essentially why I came to the nomadic lifestyle is that after COVID. Once COVID happened, I you know, it became harder and harder to sustain my company for various reasons, from we don't have to get into but suffice it to say. I was just like, this is just not working anymore. I just don't want to do this anymore. I mean, my feet started hurting my body. This is important, this is this is what I'm going to say right now is important. My body started giving me cues like heysis, Hey, I don't know what you're doing, but we're not going with you. So you're going to need to do something different or we're going to break down completely. And so it was kind of a whisper. It was kind of a you know, and then it started getting like I started with my feet, so my feet because I was standing for twelve I tell people I stood for twelve years basically, you know, literally, you know, and it just you can't do that and not have consequences in your body.
00:18:35
Speaker 1: Yeah.
00:18:35
Speaker 2: Well, and I will say, yeah, I think a lot of people don't listen to their bodies.
00:18:40
Speaker 3: Yeah, the body speaks first, right, well, the ego speaks first, but you know, the body doesn't lie. That's what I meant to say, You're right, and yeah, so the body doesn't lie. So I started, you know, listening, and I have a coach. I've had a coach for eighteen years since I was going through my divorce with you know, their dad, and and so we just started working this, you know, like, what am I going to do? What are my options?
00:19:07
Speaker 2: You know?
00:19:07
Speaker 3: This is my livelihood, this is my identity, this is my whole life. This is how I've raised my daughter's this is where I am, this is I pay for everything this way. You know, I don't want to go work for somebody else. What can pay me enough? Where do I don't even want If I did something else, I wouldn't even want to be in Sarasota. So it was just listening, journaling my coach talking about it. Telling the truth, you know, the number one tool is, you know, go to observation, like what's happening, Tell the truth about it, write it down, tell your trusted friend, your trusted coach, you know. And so I really went to work on this. And I have the skills because of my recovery and my history and all of these things. So they've just expanded over the years and deepened in different different ways. And so so that's kind of what I did in a nutshell well with my coach, And there are very specific steps I did but essentially I got to the place where I was like, I will walk out this door of this company and leave the key behind, like I'm not attached, I don't care. Something's got to change. And then I met my friend Peter quickly. He was a nomad, and so I was like, I want to do what you're doing. And so I saw it in somebody else and this is the way life is, right, Yeah, that's why you and I are on this podcast.
00:20:30
Speaker 2: Yes, And I will say that's not coincidental that, you know, this all came to be with Peter.
00:20:36
Speaker 3: I would say I would definitely say that as well. And so I said to him, how do I do what you're doing? And he said, well, the first thing you gotta do is eliminate your fixed expenses. And I just sat back and I was like, I mean, I was just trying to keep the lights on. I mean, I didn't have some p and L with like, oh well, let me just go to my book, my accountant. And you know, it wasn't that. It was like fix expenses. What's it? You know, what's a face expense kind of thing? You know, really like, what are my fixed expenses? And I started going through them in my head. But essentially I got rid of my fixed expenses. It took me about a year and a half to three years. The timing's a little shady for me.
00:21:14
Speaker 2: But so you get rid of a minute fixed expenses, I mean obviously my business, apartment, apartment's business.
00:21:21
Speaker 3: Yeah, employees, everything. Yeah, even like you like my cell phone bill. It was like, okay, well I have a cell phone bill. That's a fixed expence. But I have to have a cell phone bill. But I spent two days getting my phone bill down to twenty five dollars a month. Like that's a thing. Now you can get unlimited. Did you know that?
00:21:38
Speaker 1: No, but but I want to hear about it.
00:21:41
Speaker 2: No. Yeah, then I got to tell you you're talking me into becoming a nomad, So keep talking.
00:21:46
Speaker 3: I know, I know. So essentially I got my fixed sixpences down to just a few hundred dollars a month, and now they are just I'm into AI and workflows and marketing and I love helping businesses and all that stuff. So I have membership, you know, my subscriptions to Claude and you know, chat ebt and all that kind of stuff. And that's that's probably the bulk of it. My car insurance is one hundred dollars a month. I kept my car, which is paid for. I shipped it out to California and it's here with me now, which is so fun. And so yeah, my car insurance is my biggest expense. I'm trying to figure out how to get rid of that. But don't I'm like, what state do you not have to have car insurance?
00:22:25
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm saying your thinking as you're talking.
00:22:28
Speaker 2: I'm thinking I got to pay the Oh, I forgot to pay my electric bill. I mean, I'm literally listening to you.
00:22:32
Speaker 3: I know.
00:22:33
Speaker 1: Wow. So okay, so.
00:22:36
Speaker 2: You are now well right now you're in San Diego, but you are how is it working? Can you tell me a little bit about how it's going with living with your ex husband because for listeners who might say, you know, is she going backward in time? Is she trying to renew a relationship? Does all those questions?
00:22:57
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, So you had asked me kind of how it came to be that, and I even got to this place, and so I would say that once my daughter moved here, you know, I wanted to come visit a bunch, right, So I would come out, I would stay with friends. I would stay with my daughter. Well that's not really working out right now. She doesn't have enough room. So so I called Rick and I said, hey, you know, I'm coming into town. Are you around And he said, you know, actually I'm going to be gone. It was my birthday this year in March, and he said, you can stay in the apartment. And I was like, oh my gosh, I'm going to stay in the marital apartment like myself. This is so cool. So really March of this year was the first time that I stayed there. I had stayed before, but he that's we don't need to go into that. So anyway, I stayed there by myself. My best friend flew out. I had I have some girlfriends here, like part of why I'm here right now, as I was a pompom girl in college. So we're having a pom Pom reunion. So all my pomp Pom girlfriends came and we had this party in my old apartment. It was like just so surreal. I had that so surreal. Yeah, so I went. So I left because I'm nomadic. I went to Maui to help a friend. I'm doing a lot of that kind of stuff. So I went to help a friend. I was coming back through Ring Ring Now I got Rick, right, I'm like, oh, he let me stay there last time, Maybe let me stay again, you know, just asking. And he said, well, I'm going to be here, but you can stay, you know. And I thought, oh my gosh, I'm going to actually stay with Rick in the apartment. This is so weird, you know. And of course, naturally my brain is flooded with are we going to kiss? Am I going to be attracted to him? Is it going to be weird? Am I gonna? I mean, what's gonna happen? You know, Because I'm a female, I'm a girl, I'm a human. It's just the human experience, you know, exact. And so he graciously let me stay in the can bedroom. And it was so much fun. It was just so much fun. It was just friends. It was natural. It was so much fun. I told him make a list. You know, I'm like a helper person, like I have no technology, I can do all these things. He was like, okay, So we organized some of his closet. I helped him with this remote controls. You know, we just did this whole little fun exchange, right wow. And then when I set to leave. Now this is where it kind of weaves, because I had set in my mind that I wanted in my nomad life that I wanted to spend a year in California. And I had a vision of I want to go up and down the coast and see my pompom girlfriends, see my daughter as much as possible, and frankly, just be back in California. I love it here.
00:25:49
Speaker 1: I mean, who, why wouldn't you love being in California.
00:25:51
Speaker 3: Why wouldn't I love being in California?
00:25:53
Speaker 1: Other than the terrible weather they have.
00:25:55
Speaker 3: I know, it's awful. And so so when I went to leave, when it was the day for me to leave, Rick invited me to come back and just said, you know, would you like to come back? And I said, I know, I thought you'd never ask, you know, And he said, do you want some drawer? You want to keep some of your stuff here? And you know, I just there's two little tiny drawers and I just put a sweater and some shoes in there, you know, just like, you know, just like a tiny little token of I don't know what this is.
00:26:27
Speaker 2: Well, I would, yeah, kind of planting, just planting a piece of stability, A tiny piece of stability, thank you.
00:26:34
Speaker 3: Yes, So I did that. I went back home and then I kind of got my deal together and just to ship my car and close down my sister. I've been staying at my sisters in Sarasota. That it's been my We're really just talking about a home base is the language as a nomad, So ideally you have a home base, and so my sisters was my home base. So I shut that all down and got my car ready and my clothes and all that, and then I, you know, back to California. I guess I've been here three weeks now, and so so what happened is I've had no traction on TikTok. I've been posting since I had my juice company and just you know, having fun like nothing. And then one day on the beach, I just said, it's like nineteen days until I relocate to California. We're I'll be living out my next chapter, you know, staying with my rooming with my ex husband from thirty two years ago in our marital apartment. And like I woke up to just I guess they call it going viral, you know, and I was like, that is wild to me, you know, it just was so shocking.
00:27:40
Speaker 2: Well here's the thing, Lenn, Yeah, to you maybe, but to those of us who are planted firmly, you know, Tara firma for years and years the idea of initiating a nomadic life A and then b moving into, as you said, the marital apartment with your I.
00:28:00
Speaker 1: Mean, that's not something that you know, we read every day. It's not something that people do. You know.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: People are afraid to get out of marriages never mind, you know, they they stick with what they know. And here you are, just a burgeoning life of freedom and with apparently your ex husband of thirty two years.
00:28:23
Speaker 1: Interesting it is, well, thank you for you know.
00:28:26
Speaker 3: And I you know, because of the way I see the world I look at I'm just I'm just looking. I read every comment, you know, and I know that we're all mirrors for each other. Yes, right, I'm a mirror for everybody watching and commenting and listening and looking and interested. It's not even about me, It's about It's about that, you know. And so I'm my hunch and I love I love hearing from you about kind of the other side because I'm so curious, you know, And so I'm thinking, Wow, this is really people are really looking longing or there's something there for Is it the love piece, is it the freedom piece? Is it that I'm happy piece? Is it all of it?
00:29:09
Speaker 1: Well?
00:29:09
Speaker 2: I think I think it's all of that. I think people would be curious. You know, you've been married twice. Do you believe in love? Do you believe in marriage? Do you believe you're going to have another relationship? I think those go along with the decisions you've made.
00:29:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was like, I wonder what she's gonna ask me? And I had a feeling you might you might ask that, and so I was just kind of thinking about it walking around the house here. And you know, the truth is is I absolutely believe in marriage. I absolutely believe in love. I absolutely would It would be so super fun to have someone to live life with and create a life with at fifty eight years old. And you know, I would say, you know, I try to choose my words, but I mean, I'm not actively looking. I just but I'm open. My heart is open. I am I am able to give and receive love. I have found other ways to give and receive love and receive human touch, which I think is something that is not talked about, but just needing you know, hugs and touch and you know that sort of right, Yeah, I agree, finding healthy ways to get that outside of a love relationship.
00:30:26
Speaker 2: Or a traditional yeah yeah, a latch on my kid. So I think that's just part of it. I mean, you have so many elements. Obviously you have an entrepreneurial mind. You've created this life for yourself that is amazing, and people are voyeurs. They want to know, wow, what is she doing? So when you put something like that on TikTok, of course it's going to generate questions and comments and and so I think that's what the where the interest lies.
00:30:56
Speaker 1: I again, my life. I was married at twenty.
00:31:00
Speaker 2: My husband died when I was sixty five, so I was you know, a very different story, right. But so many things you're saying I agree with. Now I'm building a life for myself. It's just looks different than how you're building your life. Yes, but all those things physical touch and experiences and meeting people and trying new things. Because we only go around this world once. I think most people, if they're not experiencing that, want to feel that. And you're sort of a model You're representing what it could look like.
00:31:29
Speaker 3: Love that. Yeah, thank you for that. Yeah, that's great. That's great.
00:31:43
Speaker 2: For people who are listening right now who are divorced on their own whatever and they feel way down by that experience.
00:31:51
Speaker 1: I don't have that experience of.
00:31:52
Speaker 2: Divorce, But those people who are feeling, you know, way down by that experience, what advice would you give them to help them lift themselves, you know, out of the sadness.
00:32:04
Speaker 3: Well, one tool that I have that immediately comes to mind is one that I've been practicing, ironically for the last three years when I'm not really down. But it's I wish I had known it when I was down right. So, and it's this notion of being with yourself while you're there and what that that that's respecting yourself. So respecting yourself by being with yourself in that moment and giving a shut about yourself to the point of where you you're with yourself in it. You write it down, you make it important, you make it important, you write it down, you talk about it, you stay with it, and there's something about that that helps it go faster, you know, get through it faster. You know. Somebody said once a feeling's job is to be felt, and when it's felt, it moves on right. But and then just staying the course, you know, like staying the course, you know, knowing what your values are. I mean, values are so critical because my values shape my future decisions, you know, and so we don't want to make the same mistakes and that sort of thing.
00:33:18
Speaker 2: I think one thing you're I hate the word because it's so overused now, but practicing gratitude.
00:33:25
Speaker 3: Gratitude huge, yeah, for.
00:33:27
Speaker 1: Me, it's huge.
00:33:28
Speaker 2: But the other thing, and I thought you were going there for me after my husband died, I had to learn, as you just said, to be with myself. Yes, And but the other thing was loving myself and being better than okay with who I am.
00:33:44
Speaker 1: And I think you have found that. That's how it seems to me.
00:33:47
Speaker 2: It's I think so many of us, and so many people out there, particularly going through divorce, are struggling with self.
00:33:54
Speaker 3: I would say one hundred percent. And I get that. And when you said earlier, you know, people can't even imagine leaving me marriages, you know, And that just went right to my heart because I see that so much fear fear. Yeah, and listen, there's pros and cons with both. My best friend she's married forever. And I'm like, yeah, that's a tick in your column.
00:34:13
Speaker 1: You know, maybe it is, maybe it isn't.
00:34:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, well it is for now, you know, it appears right.
00:34:21
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that's it's very It's just there are different paths, and again, I think your path is just so interesting that you've committed to this life at least for a year, maybe longer.
00:34:35
Speaker 1: Talking just a little bit more about divorce. You know, I have a lot of friends who are divorced.
00:34:40
Speaker 2: We all do, and we hear, at least I hear people talking a lot about what they've lost in a do you know we lose in a divorce? What have you gained from your divorces?
00:34:53
Speaker 3: Oh? Wow, I thought you were going to say what have you lost? Because I was like, oh, I could.
00:34:56
Speaker 1: Go there, Well go both, go go give me both.
00:35:00
Speaker 3: You know. Listen, you know my tagline on TikTok as we live the life we focus on. So I was just sharing with a girlfriend yesterday. I told her I was going to be doing this podcast with you, and I said, you know, I mean, things are not you know, social media is a highlight reel. We all know this, right, So but I choose, I actively choose the gratitude posture, right service posture, the you know, serving others is like, I mean, it's so not sexy. It's just not sexy at all. It's not like not going to get followers or anything like that. But literally being of maximum service to others is like the key to life. I mean, I just so there's that side note, but so yeah, I mean I would say that one of the not so sexy, fun great things about being nomadic potentially is there's you have to be okay with a lot of uncertainty, you know, a lot of uncertainty, and you know, be prepared to you know of it at any given moment, you know, and not I don't. I don't have a certain amount of income coming in, Like I'm relying on gigs and collaborations and side hustles and yeah, but that's by design. I want it that way.
00:36:16
Speaker 2: But that but it does take courage land and as women, yes it does. You know, in this old patriarchal society we're in, we've been trained not to do that, to plant our feet firmly and gig roots. So again, I think, so you you did share this beautiful video about how it at fifty eight you're feeling so happy, Yeah, from the inside out. And for people fifty plus to not think that their best years are behind them. This struck me because I'm seventy three and I do not believe my best Thank you. I do not, as are you. I do not believe my best years are behind.
00:36:54
Speaker 1: Me at all.
00:36:55
Speaker 2: But what things today at this moment bring you happiness? I mean you've touched on a few, but I just want to make sure we're covering all the bases there.
00:37:03
Speaker 3: Yeah, what things make me happy? Make me feel happy.
00:37:05
Speaker 1: In this way? Yeah? Right now? In your life?
00:37:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, being with my being with people. I love, being with people I love. I was so isolated in my marriage, in my marriage, my second marriage, and my business. It really isolated me. And so that's the nomadic thing. I'm staying with people. That's the choice I've made because I don't want to be by myself. And that goes into the marriage thing, future love and all of that. Because I don't have a life partner, I'm creating it in other ways. I'm finding and getting my needs met through friendships and I have men in my life that you know, I can get a hug from or whatever right.
00:37:42
Speaker 1: Or whatever else you want or whatever.
00:37:45
Speaker 3: All you gotta do is ask right.
00:37:47
Speaker 2: Sometimes you don't even have to do that. It's just a look sometimes just a look. I mean we say some as we say men are big dom manumals. No, but they can read an eye.
00:37:56
Speaker 3: Yes they can, Yes they can. You be my daughter's animals nature, you know, laughing TikTok. I love TikTok. I mean it's like it makes me laugh. I mean those scaring videos where they scare people. I mean I'm just like sending them to my sister, you know. I mean I'm a juvenile in a lot of ways.
00:38:17
Speaker 1: I don't think that at all.
00:38:18
Speaker 2: I think you're someone who is in touch with your life and is building the best uh life that you possibly can. And I think you're I think you are a model for people to look at to see how they could restructure their life if they're in a rut, or they're unhappy, or they're divorced.
00:38:37
Speaker 1: I mean could go on and on.
00:38:39
Speaker 2: So I am I keep sorally enjoyed this and and thank you You're amazing. You can follow along with Lynn's journey on TikTok at Lynn at Large.
00:38:52
Speaker 3: Yeap, my last name is Large. Just for the record, so that's kind of fun.
00:38:56
Speaker 2: Well that was just that was that was a lucky happens to ants, wasn't it.
00:39:01
Speaker 3: Yes, it was. That's my favorite thing I got back after my marriage, after my second marriage is I went back and reclaimed my maiden name. So I just got that back a couple of years ago, and it's like my favorite thing I've done so far.
00:39:14
Speaker 2: It's just another It's just another point of strength for you, as far as I'm concerned.
00:39:19
Speaker 3: Thank you, It's an honor to be with you.
00:39:21
Speaker 2: Well, thank you. I appreciate it. And are you trying to navigate your chapter two and need some advice? Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the infos in the show notes, and follow us on socials I do Part two and iHeart Podcast where falling in love is the main objective.