March 13, 2026
“I Think I Just Wanted a Hug” Doja Cat Admits To Virtue Signaling Timothée Chalamet Controversy
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RSS Feed In an extraordinary video to Tik Tok, singer and rapper Doja Cat admitted to her 27 million followers that after throwing shade on Timothée Chalamet for his Opera and Ballet comments, that she’s never been to either shows and was just trying to garner clicks and approvals. It was an incredible display of humility and vulnerability rarely seen today and we hope everyone can take something away from her willingness to admit fault with an open heart and an open mind.
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00:00:10
Speaker 1: Hey, the folks, it is Friday, March thirteenth, and finally someone has figured out the key to fixing the Internet and making social media a nice place to be. Who has figured this out Doja Cat, And we should all be listening with that. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Robe. This was not on our list of possible episodes we'd be doing on a Friday afternoon, but Doja Cat has just touched our hearts.
00:00:45
Speaker 2: She has because look, we.
00:00:47
Speaker 3: All know all the hate, all the comments, all the negative things about social media, and we also know, just from politics and life and social circles that when somebody does something maybe they shouldn't have, or talked smack about somebody they shouldn't have. How often do you see somebody own it or recognize why they did it or that they shouldn't have done it. I would say almost never, and especially online.
00:01:20
Speaker 1: Especially online robes, It's almost impossible. And you mentioned it in Rogue. We just saw it recently, and fine, yes it was Christine Olman that I remember her from that hearing. I gave every opportunity just to say, hey, Alex pretty wasn't a terrorist. You just had bad information gave you somebody every opportunity to your point that this is not what this episode is about, but you mentioned it, and as the first thing came to mind, that people can be so stubborn and stand by something they've said publicly that they won't take it back. Robes doja cat. I didn't see this coming. But Timothy shalo May was an easy target for a little while, right he said what he said said. People know that story by now, but a lot of people jumped on. He was an easy target. This is a guy who has not screwed up a whole lot. You can really attack him. But folks finally saw an opening. This is an opportunity to go after him, and I can be standing up for the arts as I'm doing it. A lot of people took that opportunity.
00:02:19
Speaker 3: Yes, the Golden Boy, the Oscar Award winning actor who's also nominated again at a young age, just through shade at Ballet and Opera.
00:02:30
Speaker 4: Ah, I've got him now.
00:02:33
Speaker 3: Now I could be on the morally superior high ground, yes, and join the masses and feeling better about myself than Timothy Shallowey.
00:02:44
Speaker 1: And look, some of that stuff legitimate hurt, and that's fine, but we know robes. Overwhelmingly, there were a lot of people defending the arts who have never set foot in an opera or a ballet or can name a single ballet dancer or a single or opera performer. Fine, and that's okay. But among those people robes was Doja Cat, who, just like a lot of other folks, she was a high profile one that came out and dumped on Timothy Chalomey for what he said. And she might have been legit, and some of the criticism I believe was legitimate, but she came out pretty hard after she.
00:03:22
Speaker 3: Did come out hard after him. But what was so freaking cool? No one called her out for it. No one said who were you to say something about Timothy Chalomey or questioned her like I wouldn't have known whether or not Doja Cat has been to the opera or been to the ballet, or been trained in any way.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: She's a dancer, she's a performer.
00:03:44
Speaker 3: My best guess would have been that she had some training and she had some standing or at least some platform to be able to be upset by what Timothy Chalamey said. So it wasn't as if she was pinned up against a wall or pushed into a corner or questioned as to why she said what she said, and still she decided to come clean.
00:04:05
Speaker 1: She came clean, But first what she said. In the first place, she was in a towel. I think her head, her hair was wrapped or something. But she was I mean, clearly it wasn't a well planned or thought out necessarily like she did it off the cuff. But she put out a video on her social media in which she was criticizing him. She was making fun of his name to a certain degree, mispronouncing it and calling him out for the comments and saying it's ballet is beautiful, it's been around for so long, and was a defender of the ballet like so many other people. I didn't think her initial message was not necessarily notable other than the fact it was a famous person criticizing him.
00:04:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was being sarcastic.
00:04:48
Speaker 3: She called him timote Chalammet. She said had the nerve, big guy, by the way, So she made fun of his size. I mean, she did take some liberties to poke some fun at him and said that he had the audacity the nerve to talk about opera and ballet, and she talked about the respect it deserve, that opera was four hundred years old, that ballet was five hundred years old. She talked about if you walked into an opera house today, it would be packed and silent out of respect that people show up and they bleed every single day, that people care, that people give an f So she definitely went fairly hard on him in her comments, and.
00:05:29
Speaker 1: Again, I don't Again, I didn't necessarily find it notable other than the fact that she's a notable person.
00:05:34
Speaker 2: Sure, of course, a lot of.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: People have criticized him. A lot of it was deserved. Some of them went too far, but fine, that's not the case. But even before anybody could necessarily call her out and nobody was or her comments, she posts another video and in this other video robes she hits, I swear to you, this is the best synopsis. This is the best explanation just this is the best seminar. This is the best speech. This is the best solution I have ever seen to how we should start to proceed and check ourselves on social media. She essentially called herself out for her previous social media behavior.
00:06:26
Speaker 3: Yes, and I think you can take what she says, And I'm telling you This was one of the most hopeful, incredible things I have heard in a long time. And we could apply it to social media, but I would beg to expand it beyond that. You could apply this to every situation in your life, at work, at home with your family, period.
00:06:51
Speaker 1: She nails it, and what she nails here, folks, is what she's essentially apologetic. She's essentially saying she's calling herself out for jump on the bandwagon, jumping on a guy because she felt this is what everybody else is doing. This is going to get me attention, This is going to get me likes, that's going to get me a part of the group. Roach, this is These are things we talk about all the time that no one will call themselves out on and check their own.
00:07:18
Speaker 3: Behavior, and when someone else calls them out on it, they'll deny, deny and defend and deflect.
00:07:24
Speaker 1: We can't say it enough, folks, and we're gonna let you hear it now and we'll go through it. It's several minutes long here, about four minutes, but this is doja cat. We want you to hear it for yourself. But this is her We'll stop throughout as she says a couple of notable things, but here she is. This is the follow up video after she criticized Timothy Chlamy.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: I've never been to a ballet.
00:07:46
Speaker 5: I've never seen an opera, and I took it upon myself yesterday to kind of give it to the man because as there is like a culture based around like outrage and things like that, and people want to feel like they're part of something. It's like a need to connect.
00:08:10
Speaker 2: Whether good or bad.
00:08:12
Speaker 5: And what happened yesterday is I watched this TikTok of this guy who is well versed clearly in opera, theater and things like that. He like fires off a million facts about it and how what Timothy said was it was like it was poorly put, but he was being candid and if anything, he knows a lot more than I do personally about these things. And this guy was like, as much as he said that poorly, it's it's kind of like it's true like opera and ballet are really old art form and that it is a dying industry. That guy seemed to know a lot more than I do, so I disagree with him, But what I was doing yesterday was virtue signaling because I wanted to connect and I knew that. I knew that Timothy's goof up was something that I could leverage in order for people to connect with me and fuck with me?
00:09:32
Speaker 3: What mean?
00:09:34
Speaker 1: What like mic drop that Robes the video and watching her, she didn't look like this was that well planned and scripted. She nailed everything.
00:09:48
Speaker 2: She's being real.
00:09:49
Speaker 3: Oh, she being so honest and so real and so vulnerable and just admitting something that maybe most people would only write to their diary or journal about but never speak out loud, and certainly not put on Instagram for all to see.
00:10:09
Speaker 2: That's remarkable.
00:10:11
Speaker 1: She's admitting that she pounced on somebody because she needed something. Robes, you are the one that said it after you've listened to it for the first time. You yeah, you just walked a few minutes ago, he said. She sounds like someone who's been to counseling. She sounds like someone who's been to it, who is going through the process. Some of us have of figuring some of this iss out.
00:10:36
Speaker 2: It rang true for me. Look, I have been open about it.
00:10:39
Speaker 3: I am I have been in therapy and I am currently in therapy. And part of this is about understanding and not blaming other people for how we feel, but understanding why we have a reaction and why we do what we do. And sometimes it's ugly and it's embarrassing and it's not something to be proud of, and yet saying it out loud helps so many other people recognize that we all do it.
00:11:06
Speaker 1: And for her the next day, after such a high profile takedown of such a high profile do to come right back and say I messed up the next day, we appreciate, she continues here, And it's easy.
00:11:20
Speaker 5: It's like it's just it's a modern way to garner clicks, likes, approval, and all kinds of things like that from people.
00:11:33
Speaker 2: And so I did that yesterday.
00:11:37
Speaker 5: And I didn't really think about why I was doing it. I think that for the last couple of days of been acting on impulse anyway, because I just love to be fucking goofy, and I was. I did like thirty tiktoks of like the same bit whatever, and that was fun and I love doing that and I wish I could do that more.
00:11:57
Speaker 4: But I hurt my neck doing it.
00:12:01
Speaker 5: But it's like I wanted to be sincere in a moment, and that was the perfect That was the perfect.
00:12:09
Speaker 2: Material for me too.
00:12:13
Speaker 5: To seem sincere. But the truth is is, I don't know anything about opera. I don't know anything about ballet, and I've never been to either shows. And I think I just wanted. I think I just wanted to hug. I think that's all that I wanted. I wanted to hug. I wanted to feel like I was part of something bigger than myself. I wanted to be pat on the back, the way everybody else is patting each other on the back in the comment sections ropes.
00:12:50
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't to your point, that's vulnerable, that is big, and quite frankly, it's encouraging, like, oh wow, it is possible that folks can come around. So I don't know. I know her music and I love her music. I just became a Doja cat fan. I don't know anything about her background necessarily. I just became a Doja cat fan.
00:13:14
Speaker 2: I just became a massive Doja cat fan.
00:13:17
Speaker 4: I got, I get. I have listened to this now.
00:13:19
Speaker 3: I think this might be my fifth time, and every time and she continues beyond this, we'll keep playing it.
00:13:25
Speaker 2: I get chills.
00:13:27
Speaker 3: Because as a human being, every person can imagine how hard that would be to admit to your best friend, to admit to the mirror. Now admit it to a camera and post it to your twenty seven million followers.
00:13:48
Speaker 4: That's significant.
00:13:49
Speaker 1: We will let you hear, folks, stay here in just a moment, how she wrapped this up. Yes, more powerful words, but she had us laughing a little bit as well. Stay here. I would continue here on this Friday, March thirteenth with Doja Cat our new favorite artist, not because of a single song, but because of a post on social media in which robe she's done something that few people can do, certainly in person and certainly not on social media. Admit a mistake, admit a social media mistake and say she was the small person in that moment and apologize.
00:14:33
Speaker 3: I'm laughing because I'm trying to imagine any other example, not even recent, but ever, where you have seen someone so willing to be so open, Because usually an apology is my intentions weren't to hurt like that.
00:14:52
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if anybody.
00:14:54
Speaker 3: Anybody was offended, but my intentions were only too XYZ. When we hear apologies, when we hear public declarations, it's usually a been forced or B. There's some reason why it's advantageous for that person to say I'm sorry or and it's always almost always coupled with an explanation or a defense.
00:15:18
Speaker 2: This had none of the above, you.
00:15:21
Speaker 1: Know what to that's the good point you make about she went beyond She could have just come back and said I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have gone after him and left it at that. She went beyond that and talked about and self reflection is not like you said, it's hard to do imprivate.
00:15:39
Speaker 4: It's hard to do looking in the mirror. Sometimes I journal right and I'm in therapy.
00:15:43
Speaker 3: As I pointed out, sometimes it's even hard to journal, like like.
00:15:49
Speaker 4: Actually admitting the ugliness we all have inside of us. And yes, it might all come from a good place.
00:15:56
Speaker 2: What do we all want?
00:15:57
Speaker 3: We want to belong, We want to be liked, to be loved, we want to be the hero.
00:16:02
Speaker 4: We want to feel like.
00:16:03
Speaker 3: We're a part of something. And a lot of times we will sacrifice morals, values, what we know is right in order to get those things that make us feel safe and good. And she just outed herself and only explained it. She explained it in such a human way that I dare anyone who listened to her who couldn't.
00:16:26
Speaker 1: Relate, And this is how she wrapped it up. Take a listen to.
00:16:31
Speaker 5: This, and I wanted to look like a hero, and that's what happened. And when I got it, I didn't like it so much because I was hearing and educating myself in other ways by listening to other people's take on that subject and on the matter. But I hope this makes things more clear for people. Am I proud of it?
00:17:09
Speaker 3: Oh?
00:17:12
Speaker 5: But it just kind of furthers the the fact that sometimes I think shit and then I'm like, never mind, So never mind?
00:17:30
Speaker 1: You feel seen? Rooms?
00:17:32
Speaker 2: Wait? You can I feel seen by everything she's saying. I hope all of you need to.
00:17:38
Speaker 3: But TJ and I have very different ways of communicating, and TJ thinks and it almost unnervingly. So sometimes if I ask him a question, sometimes he'll take a minute before he responds, and it's always so awkward because I often want to fill the silence and he's really truly trying to give me the most honest, logical response. Right when TJ asks me something, I'll just blurt out whatever I think in the moment. And then if you suggest something else. I can be swayed and think, well, maybe that's true too, and then he's.
00:18:07
Speaker 2: Like, wait, which is it?
00:18:08
Speaker 3: And then I get all confused and think, I don't know. I was trying to. Well, sometimes I just think stuff and then I think it differently, and then I changed my mind.
00:18:16
Speaker 4: And you have a hard time understanding that. But when I heard her say that, I felt so validated.
00:18:22
Speaker 1: Never Mind, I thought that too, you know, even that I thought that was cute.
00:18:26
Speaker 4: Never mind, Yes, because that's a human thing.
00:18:30
Speaker 3: We can think something, we can actually convince ourselves we believe something. And then actually, upon further reflection, and I love it as she educated herself, actually went She didn't just say what she said and let it go. She then thought, maybe she should have researched it first and then spoke, But how many of us have done that a million times? So she admits it. Then she went back fine in the opposite order and started to research it and really look into it and really question why she felt the way she felt, And she changed her mind. She recognized that she spoke before she thought about it. She spoke before she educated herself about it. How many of us do that every single day? But how many of us are willing to admit it.
00:19:10
Speaker 1: What's the line there she said about listening to other people's take on the subject. Yeah right, she was educating herself by listening to other people's take on a subject. Look, there was so much wrapped up into her five minute video that I knows a Grammy way that she's a superstar. She's an artist's a thing. But she has a platform and she just used it for good robes.
00:19:37
Speaker 3: And honestly, I would say that all those things you just mentioned would make it be even harder for her to admit that she was wrong. If she's looked up to a certain way, she thinks of herself as a certain icon, she's on a pedestal, she's got an audience, it would be even harder to admit that you messed up and that you did it for personal ego driven desire. That's so hard to admit. And she did it, And my god, I am a fan for life.
00:20:09
Speaker 1: UH don't know. Look, don't know anything about her background, what she's about, what she does, I don't know. But I am judging her based on one thing that I have done a deep dive on, and that is this incident and rogues. I am now going to look into her background for the iyem.
00:20:28
Speaker 3: We're not going to educate ourselves about.
00:20:30
Speaker 1: Her and not just take somebody else's word about it. But I want you this is incredible Thoja cat, thank you, and folks, if you get a chance to go back, look it up and listen to it again, it is worth listening to Rabe.
00:20:42
Speaker 2: I want.
00:20:43
Speaker 3: I'm glad we got to hear it. I am taking this to heart. I am actually i have learned something from her today. I want I'm sending this to our daughters because this is exactly I mean, everybody needs to hear this, but so many we hear the drama and the constant back and forth, and just to hear this and to hear someone of this stature admit this flaw that is in all of us and acknowledge it and admit it. It opens up the conversation and it also opens the door for all of us to see in ourselves what we do each and every day and how we can acknowledge that and admit it, and how far that will take us to the next level of not throwing shade and judging people before we know all the facts.
00:21:29
Speaker 1: Those get we thank you, and with that, folks, we always appreciate you spending some time with us. My dear Amy REWOK. I am TJ. Holmes and we will talk to you all soon
Speaker 1: Hey, the folks, it is Friday, March thirteenth, and finally someone has figured out the key to fixing the Internet and making social media a nice place to be. Who has figured this out Doja Cat, And we should all be listening with that. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ Robe. This was not on our list of possible episodes we'd be doing on a Friday afternoon, but Doja Cat has just touched our hearts.
00:00:45
Speaker 2: She has because look, we.
00:00:47
Speaker 3: All know all the hate, all the comments, all the negative things about social media, and we also know, just from politics and life and social circles that when somebody does something maybe they shouldn't have, or talked smack about somebody they shouldn't have. How often do you see somebody own it or recognize why they did it or that they shouldn't have done it. I would say almost never, and especially online.
00:01:20
Speaker 1: Especially online robes, It's almost impossible. And you mentioned it in Rogue. We just saw it recently, and fine, yes it was Christine Olman that I remember her from that hearing. I gave every opportunity just to say, hey, Alex pretty wasn't a terrorist. You just had bad information gave you somebody every opportunity to your point that this is not what this episode is about, but you mentioned it, and as the first thing came to mind, that people can be so stubborn and stand by something they've said publicly that they won't take it back. Robes doja cat. I didn't see this coming. But Timothy shalo May was an easy target for a little while, right he said what he said said. People know that story by now, but a lot of people jumped on. He was an easy target. This is a guy who has not screwed up a whole lot. You can really attack him. But folks finally saw an opening. This is an opportunity to go after him, and I can be standing up for the arts as I'm doing it. A lot of people took that opportunity.
00:02:19
Speaker 3: Yes, the Golden Boy, the Oscar Award winning actor who's also nominated again at a young age, just through shade at Ballet and Opera.
00:02:30
Speaker 4: Ah, I've got him now.
00:02:33
Speaker 3: Now I could be on the morally superior high ground, yes, and join the masses and feeling better about myself than Timothy Shallowey.
00:02:44
Speaker 1: And look, some of that stuff legitimate hurt, and that's fine, but we know robes. Overwhelmingly, there were a lot of people defending the arts who have never set foot in an opera or a ballet or can name a single ballet dancer or a single or opera performer. Fine, and that's okay. But among those people robes was Doja Cat, who, just like a lot of other folks, she was a high profile one that came out and dumped on Timothy Chalomey for what he said. And she might have been legit, and some of the criticism I believe was legitimate, but she came out pretty hard after she.
00:03:22
Speaker 3: Did come out hard after him. But what was so freaking cool? No one called her out for it. No one said who were you to say something about Timothy Chalomey or questioned her like I wouldn't have known whether or not Doja Cat has been to the opera or been to the ballet, or been trained in any way.
00:03:42
Speaker 2: She's a dancer, she's a performer.
00:03:44
Speaker 3: My best guess would have been that she had some training and she had some standing or at least some platform to be able to be upset by what Timothy Chalamey said. So it wasn't as if she was pinned up against a wall or pushed into a corner or questioned as to why she said what she said, and still she decided to come clean.
00:04:05
Speaker 1: She came clean, But first what she said. In the first place, she was in a towel. I think her head, her hair was wrapped or something. But she was I mean, clearly it wasn't a well planned or thought out necessarily like she did it off the cuff. But she put out a video on her social media in which she was criticizing him. She was making fun of his name to a certain degree, mispronouncing it and calling him out for the comments and saying it's ballet is beautiful, it's been around for so long, and was a defender of the ballet like so many other people. I didn't think her initial message was not necessarily notable other than the fact it was a famous person criticizing him.
00:04:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, she was being sarcastic.
00:04:48
Speaker 3: She called him timote Chalammet. She said had the nerve, big guy, by the way, So she made fun of his size. I mean, she did take some liberties to poke some fun at him and said that he had the audacity the nerve to talk about opera and ballet, and she talked about the respect it deserve, that opera was four hundred years old, that ballet was five hundred years old. She talked about if you walked into an opera house today, it would be packed and silent out of respect that people show up and they bleed every single day, that people care, that people give an f So she definitely went fairly hard on him in her comments, and.
00:05:29
Speaker 1: Again, I don't Again, I didn't necessarily find it notable other than the fact that she's a notable person.
00:05:34
Speaker 2: Sure, of course, a lot of.
00:05:35
Speaker 1: People have criticized him. A lot of it was deserved. Some of them went too far, but fine, that's not the case. But even before anybody could necessarily call her out and nobody was or her comments, she posts another video and in this other video robes she hits, I swear to you, this is the best synopsis. This is the best explanation just this is the best seminar. This is the best speech. This is the best solution I have ever seen to how we should start to proceed and check ourselves on social media. She essentially called herself out for her previous social media behavior.
00:06:26
Speaker 3: Yes, and I think you can take what she says, And I'm telling you This was one of the most hopeful, incredible things I have heard in a long time. And we could apply it to social media, but I would beg to expand it beyond that. You could apply this to every situation in your life, at work, at home with your family, period.
00:06:51
Speaker 1: She nails it, and what she nails here, folks, is what she's essentially apologetic. She's essentially saying she's calling herself out for jump on the bandwagon, jumping on a guy because she felt this is what everybody else is doing. This is going to get me attention, This is going to get me likes, that's going to get me a part of the group. Roach, this is These are things we talk about all the time that no one will call themselves out on and check their own.
00:07:18
Speaker 3: Behavior, and when someone else calls them out on it, they'll deny, deny and defend and deflect.
00:07:24
Speaker 1: We can't say it enough, folks, and we're gonna let you hear it now and we'll go through it. It's several minutes long here, about four minutes, but this is doja cat. We want you to hear it for yourself. But this is her We'll stop throughout as she says a couple of notable things, but here she is. This is the follow up video after she criticized Timothy Chlamy.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: I've never been to a ballet.
00:07:46
Speaker 5: I've never seen an opera, and I took it upon myself yesterday to kind of give it to the man because as there is like a culture based around like outrage and things like that, and people want to feel like they're part of something. It's like a need to connect.
00:08:10
Speaker 2: Whether good or bad.
00:08:12
Speaker 5: And what happened yesterday is I watched this TikTok of this guy who is well versed clearly in opera, theater and things like that. He like fires off a million facts about it and how what Timothy said was it was like it was poorly put, but he was being candid and if anything, he knows a lot more than I do personally about these things. And this guy was like, as much as he said that poorly, it's it's kind of like it's true like opera and ballet are really old art form and that it is a dying industry. That guy seemed to know a lot more than I do, so I disagree with him, But what I was doing yesterday was virtue signaling because I wanted to connect and I knew that. I knew that Timothy's goof up was something that I could leverage in order for people to connect with me and fuck with me?
00:09:32
Speaker 3: What mean?
00:09:34
Speaker 1: What like mic drop that Robes the video and watching her, she didn't look like this was that well planned and scripted. She nailed everything.
00:09:48
Speaker 2: She's being real.
00:09:49
Speaker 3: Oh, she being so honest and so real and so vulnerable and just admitting something that maybe most people would only write to their diary or journal about but never speak out loud, and certainly not put on Instagram for all to see.
00:10:09
Speaker 2: That's remarkable.
00:10:11
Speaker 1: She's admitting that she pounced on somebody because she needed something. Robes, you are the one that said it after you've listened to it for the first time. You yeah, you just walked a few minutes ago, he said. She sounds like someone who's been to counseling. She sounds like someone who's been to it, who is going through the process. Some of us have of figuring some of this iss out.
00:10:36
Speaker 2: It rang true for me. Look, I have been open about it.
00:10:39
Speaker 3: I am I have been in therapy and I am currently in therapy. And part of this is about understanding and not blaming other people for how we feel, but understanding why we have a reaction and why we do what we do. And sometimes it's ugly and it's embarrassing and it's not something to be proud of, and yet saying it out loud helps so many other people recognize that we all do it.
00:11:06
Speaker 1: And for her the next day, after such a high profile takedown of such a high profile do to come right back and say I messed up the next day, we appreciate, she continues here, And it's easy.
00:11:20
Speaker 5: It's like it's just it's a modern way to garner clicks, likes, approval, and all kinds of things like that from people.
00:11:33
Speaker 2: And so I did that yesterday.
00:11:37
Speaker 5: And I didn't really think about why I was doing it. I think that for the last couple of days of been acting on impulse anyway, because I just love to be fucking goofy, and I was. I did like thirty tiktoks of like the same bit whatever, and that was fun and I love doing that and I wish I could do that more.
00:11:57
Speaker 4: But I hurt my neck doing it.
00:12:01
Speaker 5: But it's like I wanted to be sincere in a moment, and that was the perfect That was the perfect.
00:12:09
Speaker 2: Material for me too.
00:12:13
Speaker 5: To seem sincere. But the truth is is, I don't know anything about opera. I don't know anything about ballet, and I've never been to either shows. And I think I just wanted. I think I just wanted to hug. I think that's all that I wanted. I wanted to hug. I wanted to feel like I was part of something bigger than myself. I wanted to be pat on the back, the way everybody else is patting each other on the back in the comment sections ropes.
00:12:50
Speaker 1: I don't. I don't to your point, that's vulnerable, that is big, and quite frankly, it's encouraging, like, oh wow, it is possible that folks can come around. So I don't know. I know her music and I love her music. I just became a Doja cat fan. I don't know anything about her background necessarily. I just became a Doja cat fan.
00:13:14
Speaker 2: I just became a massive Doja cat fan.
00:13:17
Speaker 4: I got, I get. I have listened to this now.
00:13:19
Speaker 3: I think this might be my fifth time, and every time and she continues beyond this, we'll keep playing it.
00:13:25
Speaker 2: I get chills.
00:13:27
Speaker 3: Because as a human being, every person can imagine how hard that would be to admit to your best friend, to admit to the mirror. Now admit it to a camera and post it to your twenty seven million followers.
00:13:48
Speaker 4: That's significant.
00:13:49
Speaker 1: We will let you hear, folks, stay here in just a moment, how she wrapped this up. Yes, more powerful words, but she had us laughing a little bit as well. Stay here. I would continue here on this Friday, March thirteenth with Doja Cat our new favorite artist, not because of a single song, but because of a post on social media in which robe she's done something that few people can do, certainly in person and certainly not on social media. Admit a mistake, admit a social media mistake and say she was the small person in that moment and apologize.
00:14:33
Speaker 3: I'm laughing because I'm trying to imagine any other example, not even recent, but ever, where you have seen someone so willing to be so open, Because usually an apology is my intentions weren't to hurt like that.
00:14:52
Speaker 1: I'm sorry if anybody.
00:14:54
Speaker 3: Anybody was offended, but my intentions were only too XYZ. When we hear apologies, when we hear public declarations, it's usually a been forced or B. There's some reason why it's advantageous for that person to say I'm sorry or and it's always almost always coupled with an explanation or a defense.
00:15:18
Speaker 2: This had none of the above, you.
00:15:21
Speaker 1: Know what to that's the good point you make about she went beyond She could have just come back and said I'm sorry for what I said. I shouldn't have gone after him and left it at that. She went beyond that and talked about and self reflection is not like you said, it's hard to do imprivate.
00:15:39
Speaker 4: It's hard to do looking in the mirror. Sometimes I journal right and I'm in therapy.
00:15:43
Speaker 3: As I pointed out, sometimes it's even hard to journal, like like.
00:15:49
Speaker 4: Actually admitting the ugliness we all have inside of us. And yes, it might all come from a good place.
00:15:56
Speaker 2: What do we all want?
00:15:57
Speaker 3: We want to belong, We want to be liked, to be loved, we want to be the hero.
00:16:02
Speaker 4: We want to feel like.
00:16:03
Speaker 3: We're a part of something. And a lot of times we will sacrifice morals, values, what we know is right in order to get those things that make us feel safe and good. And she just outed herself and only explained it. She explained it in such a human way that I dare anyone who listened to her who couldn't.
00:16:26
Speaker 1: Relate, And this is how she wrapped it up. Take a listen to.
00:16:31
Speaker 5: This, and I wanted to look like a hero, and that's what happened. And when I got it, I didn't like it so much because I was hearing and educating myself in other ways by listening to other people's take on that subject and on the matter. But I hope this makes things more clear for people. Am I proud of it?
00:17:09
Speaker 3: Oh?
00:17:12
Speaker 5: But it just kind of furthers the the fact that sometimes I think shit and then I'm like, never mind, So never mind?
00:17:30
Speaker 1: You feel seen? Rooms?
00:17:32
Speaker 2: Wait? You can I feel seen by everything she's saying. I hope all of you need to.
00:17:38
Speaker 3: But TJ and I have very different ways of communicating, and TJ thinks and it almost unnervingly. So sometimes if I ask him a question, sometimes he'll take a minute before he responds, and it's always so awkward because I often want to fill the silence and he's really truly trying to give me the most honest, logical response. Right when TJ asks me something, I'll just blurt out whatever I think in the moment. And then if you suggest something else. I can be swayed and think, well, maybe that's true too, and then he's.
00:18:07
Speaker 2: Like, wait, which is it?
00:18:08
Speaker 3: And then I get all confused and think, I don't know. I was trying to. Well, sometimes I just think stuff and then I think it differently, and then I changed my mind.
00:18:16
Speaker 4: And you have a hard time understanding that. But when I heard her say that, I felt so validated.
00:18:22
Speaker 1: Never Mind, I thought that too, you know, even that I thought that was cute.
00:18:26
Speaker 4: Never mind, Yes, because that's a human thing.
00:18:30
Speaker 3: We can think something, we can actually convince ourselves we believe something. And then actually, upon further reflection, and I love it as she educated herself, actually went She didn't just say what she said and let it go. She then thought, maybe she should have researched it first and then spoke, But how many of us have done that a million times? So she admits it. Then she went back fine in the opposite order and started to research it and really look into it and really question why she felt the way she felt, And she changed her mind. She recognized that she spoke before she thought about it. She spoke before she educated herself about it. How many of us do that every single day? But how many of us are willing to admit it.
00:19:10
Speaker 1: What's the line there she said about listening to other people's take on the subject. Yeah right, she was educating herself by listening to other people's take on a subject. Look, there was so much wrapped up into her five minute video that I knows a Grammy way that she's a superstar. She's an artist's a thing. But she has a platform and she just used it for good robes.
00:19:37
Speaker 3: And honestly, I would say that all those things you just mentioned would make it be even harder for her to admit that she was wrong. If she's looked up to a certain way, she thinks of herself as a certain icon, she's on a pedestal, she's got an audience, it would be even harder to admit that you messed up and that you did it for personal ego driven desire. That's so hard to admit. And she did it, And my god, I am a fan for life.
00:20:09
Speaker 1: UH don't know. Look, don't know anything about her background, what she's about, what she does, I don't know. But I am judging her based on one thing that I have done a deep dive on, and that is this incident and rogues. I am now going to look into her background for the iyem.
00:20:28
Speaker 3: We're not going to educate ourselves about.
00:20:30
Speaker 1: Her and not just take somebody else's word about it. But I want you this is incredible Thoja cat, thank you, and folks, if you get a chance to go back, look it up and listen to it again, it is worth listening to Rabe.
00:20:42
Speaker 2: I want.
00:20:43
Speaker 3: I'm glad we got to hear it. I am taking this to heart. I am actually i have learned something from her today. I want I'm sending this to our daughters because this is exactly I mean, everybody needs to hear this, but so many we hear the drama and the constant back and forth, and just to hear this and to hear someone of this stature admit this flaw that is in all of us and acknowledge it and admit it. It opens up the conversation and it also opens the door for all of us to see in ourselves what we do each and every day and how we can acknowledge that and admit it, and how far that will take us to the next level of not throwing shade and judging people before we know all the facts.
00:21:29
Speaker 1: Those get we thank you, and with that, folks, we always appreciate you spending some time with us. My dear Amy REWOK. I am TJ. Holmes and we will talk to you all soon