Oct. 3, 2025
“I Ask You For Mercy” Diddy’s Impassioned Plea to the Judge on Eve of Sentencing
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RSS Feed Amy and T.J. read and react to Diddy’s 4 page, last minute letter to the judge deciding his fate later today. As we all await his official sentencing, we hear Diddy apologize for the first time since he was arrested, explain his inhumane prison conditions and humbly ask the judge for mercy. But is his sorry good enough to sway the judge?
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00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Friday, October third. This is the day we find out just how long Sean Diddy Combs will spend in prison. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. As of this recording rogues, we are just hours away hearing this morning October third. We've been talking about that day two months.
00:00:24
Speaker 2: We have because it is the day, of course that Diddy learns his fate, and so much of the world and certainly we have. But I know many of you listening have been following this story, this trial like never before, and so this is the culmination, this is the ending, This is the finale. We find out how long he spends behind bars, and.
00:00:44
Speaker 1: For the first time, the day before now he's going to be sentenced, we hear from him for the first time. You well, he wrote a long I certainly would argue it's impassioned in some parts of it, even convince to a certain degree, a letter to the judge pleading for mercy on this day, pleading for mercy. We are going to share. I was trying to just pull excerpts, but so much of it was compelling, and it's compelling Robes because we have not heard from this man in a year other than a few things. He uttered into court.
00:01:19
Speaker 2: Room, and we have never heard an apology at all until this letter. And so we're going to read some of it for you, and we're going to discuss our thoughts on it as we go along. But we'll begin with how he began. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and spirit.
00:01:35
Speaker 1: I don't know why that jumped out. Just immediately I said, oh, it's a pleasant no. And then you realize just how the ugliness of everything. But that was just a pleasant exchange and the judge it's.
00:01:45
Speaker 3: Okay, maybe it's oddly polite.
00:01:47
Speaker 2: It was like that moment when he stood up in court and thanked the judge for being good at his job. Basically, it almost felt like he was massaging the judge or something. He was trying to charm him into being on his side. So anyway, that seemed simple. Then he went on to say, first and foremost, I want to apologize and say how sincerely sorry I am for all the hurt and pain that I have caused others by my conduct. I take full responsibility and accountability for my past wrongs. This has been the hardest two years of my life, and I have no one to blame for my current reality and situation but myself. In my life, I have made many mistakes, but I am no longer running from them.
00:02:26
Speaker 3: I am so.
00:02:27
Speaker 2: Sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand that the mere words I'm sorry will never be good enough, as these words alone cannot erase the pain from the past. It's interesting, he says, the past two years have been the hardest of his life because he got caught, he got arrested, he got punished, he's been in jail, But my goodness, those decades leading up to it seemed pretty rough.
00:02:51
Speaker 1: In my opinion, again, I think that is what a victim's response would be, and it might be exactly what the judge's response would be. I don't know how much of this matters. They have him do it, so maybe they think it certainly can't hurt. But this, for whatever reason, he's taking this time on the eve, like you could have said a lot of this stuff. You could have taken responsibility a long time.
00:03:17
Speaker 3: That's my issue.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: It seems good, it seems convenient, but it seems highly motivated for personal reasons. It's highly motivated for personal gain.
00:03:27
Speaker 1: Where do we ever leave room for this being sincere.
00:03:31
Speaker 2: Because it shouldn't happen on the eve of the day when the judge is deciding how long you go away for the rest of your life, and to talk about how hard it's been for him the past few years. I know he's not trying to create a pity party, but it does kind of read that way where you're thinking, you gave these other women, according to even your own admissions, years of hell, and now you're saying it's been hard because now I've had to be forced to face my own monstrous behavior. That doesn't feel I don't know, just it doesn't feel like he has the perspective he needs.
00:04:03
Speaker 1: You can easily say why somebody would dismiss that as come on, Sean, give me a break, like immediately, just out of hand, dismiss that. It would take years of work and examining a different life before you would even dare try to give him another chance given some of the atrocities.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: Yes, he goes on to say, over the past thirteen months, I have had to look in the mirror like never before. My pain became my teacher, My sadness was my motivator. I have to admit my downfall was rooted in my selfishness. The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie play over and over in my head daily. I literally lost my mind. I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman that I loved. I'm sorry for that and always will be. My domestic violence will always be a heavy burden that I will have to forever carry. I don't think that sentence worked for me very well. I'm just going to say, like that sentence, it's going to be his heavy burden.
00:05:05
Speaker 1: The idea I'm suggesting is just that walking around as a domestic abuser is something just He's going to walk around with that stain if he will.
00:05:14
Speaker 2: As he should, I think most people would say so, yes anyway. But he does go in to say the remorse, the sorrow, the regret, the disappointment, the shame. I honestly feel sorry for something that I couldn't forgive someone else for. Here's where he got me, he writes, if they put their hands on one of my daughters. This is why it is so hard for me to forgive myself. It is like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar. I have always wondered, as I have heard and we heard the testimony, and these women come forward as his victims, talking about what he did to them, his callousness, his violence, his physical brutality, his emotional brutality. And I kept thinking, this is a father of two beautiful girls. How did he not ever put his head in that space?
00:05:59
Speaker 1: This sounds like perspect to me.
00:06:01
Speaker 2: This does for the first time him acknowledging that if anyone did to his daughters what he did to these other women, he wouldn't be able to forgive unforgivable.
00:06:11
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe there is some perspective there, but I think to your point that might be, oh yeah, we read this whole thing. Might be for me the most powerful line that he has a lot of it here. You expect, oh yeah, of course he has to say that and do that and say that. But that was one line that actually puts it in perspective for even how he knows the rest of the world might see him, I wouldn't forgive me either kind of a thing.
00:06:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, that one spoke to me. That part of his letter.
00:06:41
Speaker 1: This next line, here's the one that's a lot of this was making headlines. And you see in quotes I lost my way. He told the judge this, and I think that's clear, and he's saying it out loud. I wonder how long he's felt that.
00:06:53
Speaker 2: Yes, he said, I lost my way. I got lost in my journey, lost in the drugs, and the excess downfall was rooted in my selfishness. I have been humbled and broken to my core. Jail is designed to break you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Over the past year, there have been so many times that I wanted to give up. There have been some days I thought I would be better off dead. The old me died in jail and a new version of me was reborn.
00:07:19
Speaker 3: Prison will change you or kill you. I choose to live.
00:07:25
Speaker 1: Sounds like something from a self help book, A little more so there, But what do you do? Do you? It's possible you could take him at his word with every word he says there, and if you do that stuff sounds reasonable. It also sounds like he's suggesting that he can contemplate it suicide.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: Yes, I mean that is what it sounds like. And I do think that. Look, this can all be taken with the sincerity that I think we all hope it was intended with but still coupled with more punishment, because just because he's writing this, it just feels like that can't be the reason why he gets a significantly less sentenced.
00:08:04
Speaker 1: That's key. Is it punishment enough? You know what? You make a good point. We'll land on that. A lot of people will He's been punished, But has he been punished enough? Is that what the judge has to decide? I think so, because case he describes incredible punishment that he has been enduring for the past two years, like this punishment, and he goes on to describe some other things we'll get into here in his own word, how tough the jail has been, and how yes he has been punished. Is it enough?
00:08:36
Speaker 3: Uh?
00:08:36
Speaker 2: The prosecution doesn't think so, and neither do his victims.
00:08:39
Speaker 1: A year in prison? Possibly? All right, he continues here, Yes, he was talking about prison there, so, he continues. Every day since my incarceration, as difficult as my circumstances currently are, I have made the best of my time by reading, writing, working out or in therapy, obtaining the tools and knowledge to deal with my past drug abuse and anger issue. I have been putting in the work and working diligently to become the best version of myself, to ensure that I never make the same mistakes again. Now would the judge have already been aware of that? I mean, doesn't the judge know what he's doing?
00:09:13
Speaker 2: And I think possibly, Actually, I didn't know that inmates had access to therapists. I actually didn't know that. But that's I think that's applauded. Yes, that's a great thing to learn and to know. I didn't know that that was something offered to them. So I do think that that is a good step in the right direction.
00:09:32
Speaker 3: But like I said, it's just a step in the right direction.
00:09:35
Speaker 1: And you're the timing is a problem for everybody, a big problem. He goes on to say, I realized that I am in a situation where no amount of money, power, or fame can save me. Only God can save me. My grandmother used to teach me that God makes no mistakes and that everything he does is for your good. I believe that a bad situation can be used for good. Although this situation has been the hardest and darkest time in my life, good things have come out of my incarceration for starters. I am now sober for the first time in twenty five years. Holy hell, roes, that's no small feat. Given what we heard and described about his drug use. That had to be a pretty awful time of withdrawal and whatnot.
00:10:23
Speaker 2: And oh yeah, I mean yes, when we heard all of the testimony and certainly all of the folks who cooperated the fact that he was I mean the amount of drugs that he would have his assistants carry around and go get for him and bring on board on boats and hotels and wherever he flew. He always had a massive stash of illegal drugs with him to numb himself or at least to keep him up all night to commit. Like that's what I'm kind of amazed by the last two years. I get the withdrawal part of it, and being incarcerated and losing all of your fame, wealth, all of that, but it just seems like those years that all preceded it, those sound like hellscapes, you know, and the people he brought along with him to force into participating with him, or at least that's what they claim he did. That sounds like a version worse than prison to me.
00:11:20
Speaker 1: Well, he goes on talking about prison here again, talking about how some good things come out of it, and that he's now sober. Goes on to say, quote, I have been trying my best to deal with my drug abuse and anger issues and take accountability as well as positive steps toward healing. One of the most beautiful things I have experienced just being asked by my fellow inmates to teach and mentor them. They wanted to learn what I did to become a successful businessman. I was inspired by their hunger and desire to learn information in order to not only set goals, but achieve any goal and dream that their hearts desire. What do you make of.
00:11:57
Speaker 2: That, Well, he's excited about his position of power.
00:12:01
Speaker 3: Again, that's what I look at it as.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: I mean, look, that is great if he is setting a good example and teaching inmates real life skills that they could use when they get out of prison to turn away from a life of crime and turn into a life of business. But I do think it's too It's almost like he's patting himself on the back that, see, I'm already a mentor and now I'm giving back and look at me doing good. So I don't know that didn't really do anything for me. Hearing that I'm sorry.
00:12:26
Speaker 1: I love how you are receiving it.
00:12:29
Speaker 3: How do you take it?
00:12:30
Speaker 1: Well, I know it's interesting listening to you take it exactly how a lot of people take it. And it's certainly a lot of victims and a lot of people scratching their heads that he only got these two counts. And yes, there's a lot of people who think that immediately. You know me, I'm trying to give somebody the benefit of the doubt all the time, and trying to see if there is some sincerity in these words that we can never ever know for sure. The thing is, it's okay to doubt every word in here and think that every word written is for his benefit. That was the point of the letter.
00:13:04
Speaker 2: I think that he can be sincere and still require more punishment, more more opportunity to reflect. But I just also, for me, that last line was almost as if he got a little dopamine hit or a little by feeling that sense of empowerment where he was now one of the most beautiful things that he is teaching other people. So again he got like a little hit because he was in charge and he you know, he was leading people and he was changing people's lives.
00:13:32
Speaker 3: So again it was that ego speaking. So I don't know.
00:13:34
Speaker 2: I just that one little that little bit rubbed me wrong.
00:13:38
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're not going like this then. It has been beautiful to see the newfound hope in my fellow inmates eyes, the most.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: Shock he gave them. Just wanted to put that in there.
00:13:49
Speaker 1: It's not in the letter. When you hear Robot's voice, that is commentary, not in the letter. It goes on to say. The most shocking thing was to see the unity and peace this class has produced. As you are probably aware of, jails and prisons are segregated places. However, in our class, we have black, Spanish, White Nasi all together in one room, learning and working together. We even have an interpreter for the Spanish speaking inmates. The biggest miracle that I've seen with this class is all of the gangs such as Bloods, Cripts, MS thirteen's and eighteen Streets in one room working together. I am also proud to say this that since this class started, been no fight in our unit. This class has also helped me in my time of need and despair. What do you make of that?
00:14:35
Speaker 3: He's a leader, He's a peacemaker, he's a hope giver. Yeah, okay, you say it's sarcastically. I did say that sarcastic.
00:14:44
Speaker 1: I wonder how the judge is going to view that line. He's asking for mercy, and again he has to mention his kids and his kids their mom. He is the only parent to pay kids with Kim Kim Porter who passed away, and he made this plea does this I mean.
00:15:06
Speaker 2: I'll make the argument here that I think a lot of people. I'll be the voice of those folks who are looking at this through a lens of skepticism. Why did he not think of his kids when he was doing the things he was doing? Did he regard his kids when he was breaking the law and being brutally violent towards the women in his life? He was not thinking of his kids then, But now he wants the judge to think of his kids. And I do find that to be a difficult argument given his actions for the And it wasn't a singular event, it wasn't a mistake, it wasn't even a brief moment in his time. This is decades of this type of abuse being documented by people around him.
00:15:43
Speaker 1: Okay, And with that said, I'll skip that that line about the children.
00:15:46
Speaker 2: Well, no, I do think, I know, I do think we should read it. No, because I think it's interesting to hear what he's saying, and he can be sincere in this, But I don't think you can ignore the fact that he was not obviously thinking of his kids earlier.
00:15:58
Speaker 1: So stay with us. I will read the paragraph in which he references his kids and why it's so important that he gets home to be the father he says they desperately need. And all right, folks, we're going to continue now going over the letter that Sean Diddycombs wrote to the judge on the eve of his sentencing, apologizing and pleading for mercy. A part of that mercy had to do with his kids, and continues the letter, I ask you for mercy today, not only for my sake, but for the sake of my children. God blessed me with seven beautiful children, three sons and four daughters. He goes on to list them all. He says, the newest editions that two year old daughter named Love. Now four of my children, he goes on to say, lost their mother, Kim Porter, as she tragically passed away in twenty eighteen. I am their only parent. I have failed my children as a father.
00:17:02
Speaker 2: I'm glad he put that out there. I think that was an important thing to say and to acknowledge. He goes on to say, my father was murdered when I was three years old, so I know firsthand what it is to not have a father. More than anything, I just want the opportunity to return home and be the father they need and deserve. God also blessed me with the greatest mother in the world. My mother sacrificed her life and dreams to provide for me and my younger sister. She worked three jobs to make sure we had a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and the best education. My mother is now eighty four years old and recently had brain surgery. Despite her own health challenges, she attended my trial every day.
00:17:40
Speaker 3: That is true.
00:17:41
Speaker 2: We watch that day in and day out. So he goes on to say, I have always been her primary caregiver. It breaks my heart that I put myself in this situation, and for the first time, I am unable to be there for my mother when she needs me most. As I write you this letter, I am scared to death, scared to spend and another second away from my mother and my children. I no longer care about the money or the fame. There is nothing more important to me than my family.
00:18:10
Speaker 1: It takes something like this. Maybe it takes a lot of loss to realize that's the case, but to hear that's come out of his mouth, I no longer care about money or fame. Look, some of this makes sense, yep, to your point, nobody will accept it wholeheartedly because timing is everything.
00:18:29
Speaker 2: Timing is everything, and saying something like this after you get caught and convicted also makes it feel a little more hollow and a little more. People are just a little more skeptical.
00:18:40
Speaker 1: See goes on. For over a year, I have been locked in one room with twenty five other incarcerated people, sharing the same one room. In this room that I share, there are no windows, there is no natural clean air, there is no sunlight, and we all live in one room. We eat, sleep, use the toilet, take showers, and prepare meals, all in the same The conditions that my actions have placed me in are inhumane. I don't tell you this for pity or sympathy. I'm simply sharing my truth and the truth of my fellow incarcerated people. We have no clean drinking water, and we boil our drinking water. We also share one washing machine, which is broken. I am surrounded by drugs and live every day with the constant threat of being stabbed or losing my life again. I am not expecting pity or sympathy, but my time at MDC has changed me forever. I believe that I do too. It sounded a little bit in there like he might have been speaking up for the inmates in a moment that he had.
00:19:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, the inhumane conditions that I mean, I didn't realize that a shock to me that inmates would have to boil their own water. Yeah, that seems that's shocking, is it that they wouldn't have clean drinking water?
00:19:56
Speaker 1: So it seemed like maybe he was the leader you speak of. He had a voice and had a moment, had a platform to maybe bring attention to it.
00:20:04
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: So he goes on to say, I started from nothing and worked hard to earn everything I had, But because of my conduct, I have lost all my businesses, I have lost my career, I lost the charter schools that I started, and I have destroyed my reputation and stained the reputation of those that worked for me. I lost my being present with my family. Between all of my losses and lessons, I can state for a fact that I will never be in another criminal courtroom again, and I do not believe any other person would do anything similar from fear of similar punishment. If you give me a chance, I would like the opportunity to share my story with people, to prevent at least one person from making the mistakes that I've made.
00:20:43
Speaker 1: Like the way you put that, at least one person on like that line. But this one, I mean, he's begging here for another chance.
00:20:52
Speaker 3: He says.
00:20:52
Speaker 2: I realized that this trial has received a tremendous amount of global press, and your Honor may be inclined to make an example out of me. I would ask your honor to make me an example of what a person can do if afforded a second chance. If you allow me to go home to my family, I promise I will not let you down and I will make you proud.
00:21:11
Speaker 1: What do you make of that make you proud?
00:21:13
Speaker 2: It sounds like a kid saying that to his father.
00:21:16
Speaker 1: Hmm, I will not let you down and I will make you proud. It's not just I will keep my word to the court sounded personal and it was phrased that way. I wonder if I wonder about every line of this. I'm sure he was responsible for the sentiment. How much of it he wrote and was altered and for effect? I don't know, but that was a I will make you proud.
00:21:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an interesting choice of words to a judge who someone who isn't a family member, somebody who isn't a constant in your life.
00:21:44
Speaker 1: Right.
00:21:45
Speaker 2: He then goes on to say, today, or at least he hopes he's not going to be today.
00:21:49
Speaker 3: I humbly ask you.
00:21:50
Speaker 2: For another chance, another chance to be a better father, another chance to be a better son, another chance to be a better leader in my community, and another chance to live a better life. Writing this not to gain any sympathy or pity. This experience is simply the truth of my existence and has changed my life forever. And I will never commit a crime again. Thank you for your time and consideration.
00:22:13
Speaker 1: Signed Sean Combs. I believe him when he says you'll never commit a crime again. If you send him home. I can't imagine him blowing that opportunity. You would be the biggest bigger idiot.
00:22:25
Speaker 2: And yet we hear from Cassie Ventura Fines, who wrote a letter saying she fears for her life if he is let out. That he is a man that cannot change, that he is a man that is full of retribution and hate. So who do you believe? Whose letter do you put more weight to?
00:22:41
Speaker 1: Well, I guess your best indication of someone's future behavior is what they've done in the past. And if you look, who do you believe? Obviously you would not believe him, given his history and all we have learned. Whose letter you're going to give more weight to, not his? Is just that's just the truth of the matter. And again to your point here, and this is when it kind of clicked for me and what you're saying. He said today, I humbly ask you for another chance. He has it, He's going to have it. He's not going to prison for the rest of his life. Getting a second chance could start in four years. It doesn't have to start immediately.
00:23:18
Speaker 3: And a lot of people don't think it should.
00:23:20
Speaker 2: So we will keep our eye on this cord hearing, the sentencing hearing, and we will pop back on as soon as we get word as to what happened and what the judge's final decision is. So stay tuned. Please check your app because actually yes, if you subscribe, it'll pop right up. As soon as we have word. We will get on and we will give you all the information and insight we have to this fascinating trial. Really, it's anyone's guess what's going to happen today.
00:23:51
Speaker 1: We watched every day of this trial and followed closely. I am fascinated about this day and what we're about to learn.
00:23:59
Speaker 2: All right, thanks, thanks for listening to us. For now, we will talk to you real soon. I made me Robock alongside TJ.
00:24:04
Speaker 3: Holmes. Thanks for listening
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Friday, October third. This is the day we find out just how long Sean Diddy Combs will spend in prison. Welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. As of this recording rogues, we are just hours away hearing this morning October third. We've been talking about that day two months.
00:00:24
Speaker 2: We have because it is the day, of course that Diddy learns his fate, and so much of the world and certainly we have. But I know many of you listening have been following this story, this trial like never before, and so this is the culmination, this is the ending, This is the finale. We find out how long he spends behind bars, and.
00:00:44
Speaker 1: For the first time, the day before now he's going to be sentenced, we hear from him for the first time. You well, he wrote a long I certainly would argue it's impassioned in some parts of it, even convince to a certain degree, a letter to the judge pleading for mercy on this day, pleading for mercy. We are going to share. I was trying to just pull excerpts, but so much of it was compelling, and it's compelling Robes because we have not heard from this man in a year other than a few things. He uttered into court.
00:01:19
Speaker 2: Room, and we have never heard an apology at all until this letter. And so we're going to read some of it for you, and we're going to discuss our thoughts on it as we go along. But we'll begin with how he began. I hope this letter finds you well and in good health and spirit.
00:01:35
Speaker 1: I don't know why that jumped out. Just immediately I said, oh, it's a pleasant no. And then you realize just how the ugliness of everything. But that was just a pleasant exchange and the judge it's.
00:01:45
Speaker 3: Okay, maybe it's oddly polite.
00:01:47
Speaker 2: It was like that moment when he stood up in court and thanked the judge for being good at his job. Basically, it almost felt like he was massaging the judge or something. He was trying to charm him into being on his side. So anyway, that seemed simple. Then he went on to say, first and foremost, I want to apologize and say how sincerely sorry I am for all the hurt and pain that I have caused others by my conduct. I take full responsibility and accountability for my past wrongs. This has been the hardest two years of my life, and I have no one to blame for my current reality and situation but myself. In my life, I have made many mistakes, but I am no longer running from them.
00:02:26
Speaker 3: I am so.
00:02:27
Speaker 2: Sorry for the hurt that I caused, but I understand that the mere words I'm sorry will never be good enough, as these words alone cannot erase the pain from the past. It's interesting, he says, the past two years have been the hardest of his life because he got caught, he got arrested, he got punished, he's been in jail, But my goodness, those decades leading up to it seemed pretty rough.
00:02:51
Speaker 1: In my opinion, again, I think that is what a victim's response would be, and it might be exactly what the judge's response would be. I don't know how much of this matters. They have him do it, so maybe they think it certainly can't hurt. But this, for whatever reason, he's taking this time on the eve, like you could have said a lot of this stuff. You could have taken responsibility a long time.
00:03:17
Speaker 3: That's my issue.
00:03:18
Speaker 2: It seems good, it seems convenient, but it seems highly motivated for personal reasons. It's highly motivated for personal gain.
00:03:27
Speaker 1: Where do we ever leave room for this being sincere.
00:03:31
Speaker 2: Because it shouldn't happen on the eve of the day when the judge is deciding how long you go away for the rest of your life, and to talk about how hard it's been for him the past few years. I know he's not trying to create a pity party, but it does kind of read that way where you're thinking, you gave these other women, according to even your own admissions, years of hell, and now you're saying it's been hard because now I've had to be forced to face my own monstrous behavior. That doesn't feel I don't know, just it doesn't feel like he has the perspective he needs.
00:04:03
Speaker 1: You can easily say why somebody would dismiss that as come on, Sean, give me a break, like immediately, just out of hand, dismiss that. It would take years of work and examining a different life before you would even dare try to give him another chance given some of the atrocities.
00:04:24
Speaker 2: Yes, he goes on to say, over the past thirteen months, I have had to look in the mirror like never before. My pain became my teacher, My sadness was my motivator. I have to admit my downfall was rooted in my selfishness. The scene and images of me assaulting Cassie play over and over in my head daily. I literally lost my mind. I was dead wrong for putting my hands on the woman that I loved. I'm sorry for that and always will be. My domestic violence will always be a heavy burden that I will have to forever carry. I don't think that sentence worked for me very well. I'm just going to say, like that sentence, it's going to be his heavy burden.
00:05:05
Speaker 1: The idea I'm suggesting is just that walking around as a domestic abuser is something just He's going to walk around with that stain if he will.
00:05:14
Speaker 2: As he should, I think most people would say so, yes anyway. But he does go in to say the remorse, the sorrow, the regret, the disappointment, the shame. I honestly feel sorry for something that I couldn't forgive someone else for. Here's where he got me, he writes, if they put their hands on one of my daughters. This is why it is so hard for me to forgive myself. It is like a deep wound that leaves an ugly scar. I have always wondered, as I have heard and we heard the testimony, and these women come forward as his victims, talking about what he did to them, his callousness, his violence, his physical brutality, his emotional brutality. And I kept thinking, this is a father of two beautiful girls. How did he not ever put his head in that space?
00:05:59
Speaker 1: This sounds like perspect to me.
00:06:01
Speaker 2: This does for the first time him acknowledging that if anyone did to his daughters what he did to these other women, he wouldn't be able to forgive unforgivable.
00:06:11
Speaker 1: I don't know, maybe there is some perspective there, but I think to your point that might be, oh yeah, we read this whole thing. Might be for me the most powerful line that he has a lot of it here. You expect, oh yeah, of course he has to say that and do that and say that. But that was one line that actually puts it in perspective for even how he knows the rest of the world might see him, I wouldn't forgive me either kind of a thing.
00:06:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, that one spoke to me. That part of his letter.
00:06:41
Speaker 1: This next line, here's the one that's a lot of this was making headlines. And you see in quotes I lost my way. He told the judge this, and I think that's clear, and he's saying it out loud. I wonder how long he's felt that.
00:06:53
Speaker 2: Yes, he said, I lost my way. I got lost in my journey, lost in the drugs, and the excess downfall was rooted in my selfishness. I have been humbled and broken to my core. Jail is designed to break you mentally, physically, and spiritually. Over the past year, there have been so many times that I wanted to give up. There have been some days I thought I would be better off dead. The old me died in jail and a new version of me was reborn.
00:07:19
Speaker 3: Prison will change you or kill you. I choose to live.
00:07:25
Speaker 1: Sounds like something from a self help book, A little more so there, But what do you do? Do you? It's possible you could take him at his word with every word he says there, and if you do that stuff sounds reasonable. It also sounds like he's suggesting that he can contemplate it suicide.
00:07:44
Speaker 2: Yes, I mean that is what it sounds like. And I do think that. Look, this can all be taken with the sincerity that I think we all hope it was intended with but still coupled with more punishment, because just because he's writing this, it just feels like that can't be the reason why he gets a significantly less sentenced.
00:08:04
Speaker 1: That's key. Is it punishment enough? You know what? You make a good point. We'll land on that. A lot of people will He's been punished, But has he been punished enough? Is that what the judge has to decide? I think so, because case he describes incredible punishment that he has been enduring for the past two years, like this punishment, and he goes on to describe some other things we'll get into here in his own word, how tough the jail has been, and how yes he has been punished. Is it enough?
00:08:36
Speaker 3: Uh?
00:08:36
Speaker 2: The prosecution doesn't think so, and neither do his victims.
00:08:39
Speaker 1: A year in prison? Possibly? All right, he continues here, Yes, he was talking about prison there, so, he continues. Every day since my incarceration, as difficult as my circumstances currently are, I have made the best of my time by reading, writing, working out or in therapy, obtaining the tools and knowledge to deal with my past drug abuse and anger issue. I have been putting in the work and working diligently to become the best version of myself, to ensure that I never make the same mistakes again. Now would the judge have already been aware of that? I mean, doesn't the judge know what he's doing?
00:09:13
Speaker 2: And I think possibly, Actually, I didn't know that inmates had access to therapists. I actually didn't know that. But that's I think that's applauded. Yes, that's a great thing to learn and to know. I didn't know that that was something offered to them. So I do think that that is a good step in the right direction.
00:09:32
Speaker 3: But like I said, it's just a step in the right direction.
00:09:35
Speaker 1: And you're the timing is a problem for everybody, a big problem. He goes on to say, I realized that I am in a situation where no amount of money, power, or fame can save me. Only God can save me. My grandmother used to teach me that God makes no mistakes and that everything he does is for your good. I believe that a bad situation can be used for good. Although this situation has been the hardest and darkest time in my life, good things have come out of my incarceration for starters. I am now sober for the first time in twenty five years. Holy hell, roes, that's no small feat. Given what we heard and described about his drug use. That had to be a pretty awful time of withdrawal and whatnot.
00:10:23
Speaker 2: And oh yeah, I mean yes, when we heard all of the testimony and certainly all of the folks who cooperated the fact that he was I mean the amount of drugs that he would have his assistants carry around and go get for him and bring on board on boats and hotels and wherever he flew. He always had a massive stash of illegal drugs with him to numb himself or at least to keep him up all night to commit. Like that's what I'm kind of amazed by the last two years. I get the withdrawal part of it, and being incarcerated and losing all of your fame, wealth, all of that, but it just seems like those years that all preceded it, those sound like hellscapes, you know, and the people he brought along with him to force into participating with him, or at least that's what they claim he did. That sounds like a version worse than prison to me.
00:11:20
Speaker 1: Well, he goes on talking about prison here again, talking about how some good things come out of it, and that he's now sober. Goes on to say, quote, I have been trying my best to deal with my drug abuse and anger issues and take accountability as well as positive steps toward healing. One of the most beautiful things I have experienced just being asked by my fellow inmates to teach and mentor them. They wanted to learn what I did to become a successful businessman. I was inspired by their hunger and desire to learn information in order to not only set goals, but achieve any goal and dream that their hearts desire. What do you make of.
00:11:57
Speaker 2: That, Well, he's excited about his position of power.
00:12:01
Speaker 3: Again, that's what I look at it as.
00:12:03
Speaker 2: I mean, look, that is great if he is setting a good example and teaching inmates real life skills that they could use when they get out of prison to turn away from a life of crime and turn into a life of business. But I do think it's too It's almost like he's patting himself on the back that, see, I'm already a mentor and now I'm giving back and look at me doing good. So I don't know that didn't really do anything for me. Hearing that I'm sorry.
00:12:26
Speaker 1: I love how you are receiving it.
00:12:29
Speaker 3: How do you take it?
00:12:30
Speaker 1: Well, I know it's interesting listening to you take it exactly how a lot of people take it. And it's certainly a lot of victims and a lot of people scratching their heads that he only got these two counts. And yes, there's a lot of people who think that immediately. You know me, I'm trying to give somebody the benefit of the doubt all the time, and trying to see if there is some sincerity in these words that we can never ever know for sure. The thing is, it's okay to doubt every word in here and think that every word written is for his benefit. That was the point of the letter.
00:13:04
Speaker 2: I think that he can be sincere and still require more punishment, more more opportunity to reflect. But I just also, for me, that last line was almost as if he got a little dopamine hit or a little by feeling that sense of empowerment where he was now one of the most beautiful things that he is teaching other people. So again he got like a little hit because he was in charge and he you know, he was leading people and he was changing people's lives.
00:13:32
Speaker 3: So again it was that ego speaking. So I don't know.
00:13:34
Speaker 2: I just that one little that little bit rubbed me wrong.
00:13:38
Speaker 1: Okay, so you're not going like this then. It has been beautiful to see the newfound hope in my fellow inmates eyes, the most.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: Shock he gave them. Just wanted to put that in there.
00:13:49
Speaker 1: It's not in the letter. When you hear Robot's voice, that is commentary, not in the letter. It goes on to say. The most shocking thing was to see the unity and peace this class has produced. As you are probably aware of, jails and prisons are segregated places. However, in our class, we have black, Spanish, White Nasi all together in one room, learning and working together. We even have an interpreter for the Spanish speaking inmates. The biggest miracle that I've seen with this class is all of the gangs such as Bloods, Cripts, MS thirteen's and eighteen Streets in one room working together. I am also proud to say this that since this class started, been no fight in our unit. This class has also helped me in my time of need and despair. What do you make of that?
00:14:35
Speaker 3: He's a leader, He's a peacemaker, he's a hope giver. Yeah, okay, you say it's sarcastically. I did say that sarcastic.
00:14:44
Speaker 1: I wonder how the judge is going to view that line. He's asking for mercy, and again he has to mention his kids and his kids their mom. He is the only parent to pay kids with Kim Kim Porter who passed away, and he made this plea does this I mean.
00:15:06
Speaker 2: I'll make the argument here that I think a lot of people. I'll be the voice of those folks who are looking at this through a lens of skepticism. Why did he not think of his kids when he was doing the things he was doing? Did he regard his kids when he was breaking the law and being brutally violent towards the women in his life? He was not thinking of his kids then, But now he wants the judge to think of his kids. And I do find that to be a difficult argument given his actions for the And it wasn't a singular event, it wasn't a mistake, it wasn't even a brief moment in his time. This is decades of this type of abuse being documented by people around him.
00:15:43
Speaker 1: Okay, And with that said, I'll skip that that line about the children.
00:15:46
Speaker 2: Well, no, I do think, I know, I do think we should read it. No, because I think it's interesting to hear what he's saying, and he can be sincere in this, But I don't think you can ignore the fact that he was not obviously thinking of his kids earlier.
00:15:58
Speaker 1: So stay with us. I will read the paragraph in which he references his kids and why it's so important that he gets home to be the father he says they desperately need. And all right, folks, we're going to continue now going over the letter that Sean Diddycombs wrote to the judge on the eve of his sentencing, apologizing and pleading for mercy. A part of that mercy had to do with his kids, and continues the letter, I ask you for mercy today, not only for my sake, but for the sake of my children. God blessed me with seven beautiful children, three sons and four daughters. He goes on to list them all. He says, the newest editions that two year old daughter named Love. Now four of my children, he goes on to say, lost their mother, Kim Porter, as she tragically passed away in twenty eighteen. I am their only parent. I have failed my children as a father.
00:17:02
Speaker 2: I'm glad he put that out there. I think that was an important thing to say and to acknowledge. He goes on to say, my father was murdered when I was three years old, so I know firsthand what it is to not have a father. More than anything, I just want the opportunity to return home and be the father they need and deserve. God also blessed me with the greatest mother in the world. My mother sacrificed her life and dreams to provide for me and my younger sister. She worked three jobs to make sure we had a roof over our heads, clothes on our backs, and the best education. My mother is now eighty four years old and recently had brain surgery. Despite her own health challenges, she attended my trial every day.
00:17:40
Speaker 3: That is true.
00:17:41
Speaker 2: We watch that day in and day out. So he goes on to say, I have always been her primary caregiver. It breaks my heart that I put myself in this situation, and for the first time, I am unable to be there for my mother when she needs me most. As I write you this letter, I am scared to death, scared to spend and another second away from my mother and my children. I no longer care about the money or the fame. There is nothing more important to me than my family.
00:18:10
Speaker 1: It takes something like this. Maybe it takes a lot of loss to realize that's the case, but to hear that's come out of his mouth, I no longer care about money or fame. Look, some of this makes sense, yep, to your point, nobody will accept it wholeheartedly because timing is everything.
00:18:29
Speaker 2: Timing is everything, and saying something like this after you get caught and convicted also makes it feel a little more hollow and a little more. People are just a little more skeptical.
00:18:40
Speaker 1: See goes on. For over a year, I have been locked in one room with twenty five other incarcerated people, sharing the same one room. In this room that I share, there are no windows, there is no natural clean air, there is no sunlight, and we all live in one room. We eat, sleep, use the toilet, take showers, and prepare meals, all in the same The conditions that my actions have placed me in are inhumane. I don't tell you this for pity or sympathy. I'm simply sharing my truth and the truth of my fellow incarcerated people. We have no clean drinking water, and we boil our drinking water. We also share one washing machine, which is broken. I am surrounded by drugs and live every day with the constant threat of being stabbed or losing my life again. I am not expecting pity or sympathy, but my time at MDC has changed me forever. I believe that I do too. It sounded a little bit in there like he might have been speaking up for the inmates in a moment that he had.
00:19:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, the inhumane conditions that I mean, I didn't realize that a shock to me that inmates would have to boil their own water. Yeah, that seems that's shocking, is it that they wouldn't have clean drinking water?
00:19:56
Speaker 1: So it seemed like maybe he was the leader you speak of. He had a voice and had a moment, had a platform to maybe bring attention to it.
00:20:04
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: So he goes on to say, I started from nothing and worked hard to earn everything I had, But because of my conduct, I have lost all my businesses, I have lost my career, I lost the charter schools that I started, and I have destroyed my reputation and stained the reputation of those that worked for me. I lost my being present with my family. Between all of my losses and lessons, I can state for a fact that I will never be in another criminal courtroom again, and I do not believe any other person would do anything similar from fear of similar punishment. If you give me a chance, I would like the opportunity to share my story with people, to prevent at least one person from making the mistakes that I've made.
00:20:43
Speaker 1: Like the way you put that, at least one person on like that line. But this one, I mean, he's begging here for another chance.
00:20:52
Speaker 3: He says.
00:20:52
Speaker 2: I realized that this trial has received a tremendous amount of global press, and your Honor may be inclined to make an example out of me. I would ask your honor to make me an example of what a person can do if afforded a second chance. If you allow me to go home to my family, I promise I will not let you down and I will make you proud.
00:21:11
Speaker 1: What do you make of that make you proud?
00:21:13
Speaker 2: It sounds like a kid saying that to his father.
00:21:16
Speaker 1: Hmm, I will not let you down and I will make you proud. It's not just I will keep my word to the court sounded personal and it was phrased that way. I wonder if I wonder about every line of this. I'm sure he was responsible for the sentiment. How much of it he wrote and was altered and for effect? I don't know, but that was a I will make you proud.
00:21:37
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an interesting choice of words to a judge who someone who isn't a family member, somebody who isn't a constant in your life.
00:21:44
Speaker 1: Right.
00:21:45
Speaker 2: He then goes on to say, today, or at least he hopes he's not going to be today.
00:21:49
Speaker 3: I humbly ask you.
00:21:50
Speaker 2: For another chance, another chance to be a better father, another chance to be a better son, another chance to be a better leader in my community, and another chance to live a better life. Writing this not to gain any sympathy or pity. This experience is simply the truth of my existence and has changed my life forever. And I will never commit a crime again. Thank you for your time and consideration.
00:22:13
Speaker 1: Signed Sean Combs. I believe him when he says you'll never commit a crime again. If you send him home. I can't imagine him blowing that opportunity. You would be the biggest bigger idiot.
00:22:25
Speaker 2: And yet we hear from Cassie Ventura Fines, who wrote a letter saying she fears for her life if he is let out. That he is a man that cannot change, that he is a man that is full of retribution and hate. So who do you believe? Whose letter do you put more weight to?
00:22:41
Speaker 1: Well, I guess your best indication of someone's future behavior is what they've done in the past. And if you look, who do you believe? Obviously you would not believe him, given his history and all we have learned. Whose letter you're going to give more weight to, not his? Is just that's just the truth of the matter. And again to your point here, and this is when it kind of clicked for me and what you're saying. He said today, I humbly ask you for another chance. He has it, He's going to have it. He's not going to prison for the rest of his life. Getting a second chance could start in four years. It doesn't have to start immediately.
00:23:18
Speaker 3: And a lot of people don't think it should.
00:23:20
Speaker 2: So we will keep our eye on this cord hearing, the sentencing hearing, and we will pop back on as soon as we get word as to what happened and what the judge's final decision is. So stay tuned. Please check your app because actually yes, if you subscribe, it'll pop right up. As soon as we have word. We will get on and we will give you all the information and insight we have to this fascinating trial. Really, it's anyone's guess what's going to happen today.
00:23:51
Speaker 1: We watched every day of this trial and followed closely. I am fascinated about this day and what we're about to learn.
00:23:59
Speaker 2: All right, thanks, thanks for listening to us. For now, we will talk to you real soon. I made me Robock alongside TJ.
00:24:04
Speaker 3: Holmes. Thanks for listening