Nov. 7, 2026
How Did You Sleep Last Night? Are You Ready For A Sleep Divorce?
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RSS Feed A THIRD of American adults sleep separately from their partners, according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. The study gives a full breakdown on age and gender, and it may be no surprise to some of you that nearly half of all couples in a specific age group are “sleep divorced.” While we discuss our sleep habits, don’t feel bad about yours if they involve solo sleeping: the study reinforces that sleep divorces may actually help keep couples married in the long run.
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00:00:11
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Saturday, November 7th, and one day this week, I found myself sleeping on the couch. No, we didn't get into a fight, and she kicked me out of the bedroom. But sleeping on the couch did end up causing a bit of a fight. And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. We'll put this all in some kind of context robes in a second, but the idea... of a guy sleeping on a couch, your immediate thought is he's in the doghouse kind of a situation. But now we're learning more and more, Rose. Sleeping separately might be good for a relationship.
00:00:54
Speaker 2: Yes, for some relationships.
00:00:57
Speaker 3: I am someone who would rather figure out a compromise or accommodate one another.
00:01:04
Speaker 2: And sleep together.
00:01:05
Speaker 3: That's just maybe I'm holding on to something that's just emotionally based and not logical because yes, it turns out according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, there's one group, one age group of folks where nearly half of that group sleep in another bed or another area from their partner.
00:01:27
Speaker 2: That's fairly shocking.
00:01:29
Speaker 1: Um, Okay, so where do you want to go with this? You take it. Which direction? Where do you want to start with this thing? This idea of a sleep divorce is what we're talking about. So you take it away. Which direction do you want to go?
00:01:41
Speaker 3: Well, the sleep divorce just means that you are not sleeping, obviously, with your partner. And there are plenty of folks who believe it saves marriages. And they say, look, the number one reason why people don't sleep in the same bed is because of snoring. I mean, look, every now and then, of course, you've told me I've snored and you've actually recorded video of it.
00:02:03
Speaker 2: And you snore every now and then, but that's not our issue, is it?
00:02:08
Speaker 1: No, I've never gotten, it's rare that I've gotten on the bed because of a disturbance, because of snoring. Yes, it has happened before. Often it has to do with temperature in the room that drives me out, but it's not usually overwhelmingly triggered by your sleep patterns or behavior.
00:02:29
Speaker 2: That's right. So yeah, why were you on the couch on Tuesday?
00:02:33
Speaker 1: I don't sleep that well, and I don't sleep that long. And I often will make a decision to, in order to settle myself down, I will... Get away from the bed or get out of the bedroom because I don't want to disturb you. Our patterns are as such that that can be the case every single night. We are off enough in temperatures, in timing, that we could both have a reason, a legitimate reason, every single night that we don't sleep in the bed. But we don't obviously do that. But it did strike me that it was bothersome to you to find that I had not slept in the bed.
00:03:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, like I said, I think it's just an emotional thing because I love you so much and I just want you to be near me. But yes, you have to get practical sometimes and you got to take some of the emotion out of it.
00:03:28
Speaker 1: I get that. I disagree. Yeah, I don't. No, no, no. About the idea that you have to be practical. I don't know. I don't think this idea and they call it a sleep divorce and a lot of people do it. A third of adults do this. That it's just what they do. We don't sleep in the same bed together. That... It ain't my lane, but people do it and it works and they say it actually can be beneficial.
00:03:57
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:03:58
Speaker 3: For me, I go straight to slippery slope. I start thinking, well, you don't sleep together. Then you don't eat meals together. Then you don't vacation together.
00:04:09
Speaker 2: We talk about airport divorces.
00:04:11
Speaker 3: And sleep divorces, and I understand people do what they need to do to try and keep a relationship healthy. But for me, I would rather figure out a compromise that.
00:04:21
Speaker 2: We can both live with and do it together.
00:04:24
Speaker 3: I just feel like just having lived enough life, having had enough relationships, I do feel like there can be a slippery slope.
00:04:32
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
00:04:34
Speaker 3: Just meaning you start doing things separately and things start feeling separately.
00:04:38
Speaker 2: And you don't attack or you.
00:04:41
Speaker 3: Don't go through your life or through your day or even through your problems with a team mentality.
00:04:48
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is where the science and the scientists come in and suggest that, yes, if it's disruptive to your relationship, how you sleep, if it causes fights... Because you do not sleep as much, and then you're irritable. All these things they are suggesting, just because you have a sleep divorce doesn't mean you're on the way to a real divorce or you're in a way on the path to that, and it doesn't suggest that something is wrong with your relationship. That actually makes sense to me. You talked about the slippery slope, though. I mean, at what point do you start, instead of saying, how can we work this out? You and I are going to spend our lives together. We should not be doing something... that we have to do every night, we are making a decision to do it separately.
00:05:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it. And look, to each their own.
00:05:40
Speaker 3: By the way, this new study, this was done, again, by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. The question that they asked was, do you ever do any of the following to adjust your sleep routine to accommodate a partner? And then they asked a series of questions, and among them, yes, was to sleep in another bed, in another space. The other thing that I thought was interesting, go to sleep at a different time than desired. to accommodate your partner. I think everyone probably does that. The other one was use a silent alarm. I don't even know what a silent alarm is. Is that a buzzing thing?
00:06:10
Speaker 1: Maybe something you wear on your arm. You do something to not disturb the other person.
00:06:15
Speaker 2: Correct.
00:06:15
Speaker 1: To wake you up, yes.
00:06:16
Speaker 3: But I thought it was interesting they didn't ask in terms of the accommodation because these are our issues in terms of accommodation. Do you sleep at a different temperature than you would have otherwise chosen? Do you sleep with noise or different light than you would have otherwise?
00:06:30
Speaker 2: There are a lot of.
00:06:33
Speaker 3: Compromises that take place because people have different ways of soothing themselves and how to not only fall asleep but stay asleep there are a lot of adjustments i think partners make it's i think it's good to know that other people are all dealing with the same stuff basically but.
00:06:48
Speaker 1: We always know isn't this from the beginning of time the temperatures are different they start making mattresses in which you could adjust the temperature of the damn things This has been a thing. Does it mean anything more? What does it mean to me? I am saying my comfort in my sleep is more important than sleeping next to the person I love. Now, when you say it like that, you go, oh, shit. I didn't even think about it until I put it that way. But when you say it like that, okay. And there's a practical way to look at that. Sure.
00:07:20
Speaker 3: Sure.
00:07:21
Speaker 1: Is that the most important thing? And if it is, does it mean you love that person any less? So your relationship isn't as strong as that other couple that sleeps next? I don't know.
00:07:30
Speaker 3: People swear by it. People swear by the airport divorce. People swear by the sleep divorce. I have heard people swear by having a long distance relationship because you get me time, alone time. I guess everybody is different and they have different Different places they're willing to compromise and different places they're not.
00:07:49
Speaker 2: But I do think it's interesting.
00:07:51
Speaker 3: I told you I was reading a spokesperson for the study put it like this. And I think this helps me understand and maybe.
00:08:00
Speaker 2: Take some of the emotion out of it.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: But she said, as clinicians, we've seen our patients and their spouses become more intentional about their sleep environment as they try to improve their sleep health. Often this includes a conversation about separate sleep spaces to accommodate temperature preferences, ambient lighting, and noise, because when our sleep is compromised due to a disruptive.
00:08:26
Speaker 2: Partner, resentment can grow.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: Poor sleep leads to diminished empathy, patience, and understanding. Rather than fostering a poor sleep environment for appearances... A thoughtful conversation with your bed partner can result in a stronger relationship because each partner is achieving more restful sleep.
00:08:48
Speaker 1: Okay. But that puts the priority at your sleep.
00:08:54
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: Right. What if the priority I should think be the relationship? Is that weird? Is that wrong? No.
00:09:04
Speaker 2: And that's where I struggle.
00:09:06
Speaker 3: But I think there is something to be said for both because I guess the point being is if you have a continued diminished sleep quality, your relationship is going to probably suffer.
00:09:19
Speaker 1: But that jumped out at me because it suggested resentment was the thing, not just that I am I am a bad partner, oftentimes, because I don't sleep well. And I am irritable, and I am shorter, and not as loving, and all these... Now, that's different. I don't have a resentment because you had brown noise playing, and... It was really cold in the room. I don't resent you for how you're comfortable sleeping. I'm not there at all. So that was a difficult one to get on board with. We got different problems.
00:09:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I get it. And like, I totally, and I feel the same way.
00:09:57
Speaker 3: I don't feel resentment towards you that yes, you, want a TV on because that's how you quiet your thoughts. If someone else is talking, you can kind of quiet your brain from going into overdrive.
00:10:08
Speaker 2: That makes sense to me.
00:10:10
Speaker 3: Your television would have been my Brown noise, which I always like to have something on.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: So I have kind of adjusted.
00:10:15
Speaker 3: Because I have been able to turn television into Into my brown noise.
00:10:19
Speaker 2: Because I have always wanted, I had the same issue.
00:10:22
Speaker 3: I needed something to basically overcome my thoughts, which would keep me up.
00:10:28
Speaker 2: So I totally get that.
00:10:30
Speaker 1: And the brown noise does that?
00:10:32
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:32
Speaker 1: That's weird.
00:10:33
Speaker 2: It like quiets my thoughts.
00:10:34
Speaker 1: I thought it drowns, I thought it was supposed to drown out other stuff.
00:10:37
Speaker 2: No, for me it fills the silence. So yes, it can.
00:10:40
Speaker 3: If you've got city noise or you've got some sort of construction, or honestly, you don't hardly ever snore, but on rare occasions when you do and I wake up, I will turn it on because it will drown that out for me. But I also think that that white noise or that brown noise, that's my favorite.
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Is it fills the silence.
00:11:01
Speaker 3: Silence sometimes can be deafening when you're trying to sleep because All you hear are your, so tomorrow I have to do this. And why did I say that today? And you think he's mad at me? Because I think maybe I, yes, that's what starts, this loop goes on. So I understand the need for something to replace or displace those thoughts.
00:11:20
Speaker 1: See, but the brown noise is just, I need a stream of thought going somewhere other than where my thoughts are. If I just hear, that's just more annoying. So wait, I'm hearing this noise, and it's not helping me drown out what I'm thinking.
00:11:33
Speaker 2: It relaxes my thoughts.
00:11:35
Speaker 1: Oh, God.
00:11:35
Speaker 3: I just get kind of swept out to sea, like mentally, if that makes any sense.
00:11:39
Speaker 1: You've done this before. Oh, I can't remember where we were, but we are big time. ocean travelers we love traveling somewhere and sitting and hearing ocean waves crash you we were somewhere and you had like white noise a brown noise on and waves were crashing i'm like what people actually put on wave crashing as their background noise when they sleep you were drowning that out that was where was that I think that was in Mexico. Was that Mexico? The most recent? Yes. Oh, my God.
00:12:06
Speaker 2: It was just one night where it was too much. And so I had to drown out the waves crashing.
00:12:11
Speaker 1: That was the best time ever for me. It was great. They were thundering as we slept. And you put on white.
00:12:17
Speaker 2: That was funny. We didn't need TV that time, I don't feel like.
00:12:21
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it.
00:12:21
Speaker 3: Because that was perfect. But look, I do think that snoring could make you resentful. You know it's not that person's fault. You know they're not doing it on purpose.
00:12:30
Speaker 2: Resentful? But it makes people angry. Oh, I mean, absolutely.
00:12:35
Speaker 3: I have heard friends and relatives discussing. Thankfully, you and I don't have that problem. But it can be so disruptive that, yes. And they say that is the number one reason.
00:12:47
Speaker 1: But isn't that a suggestion? If it leads you to resentment.
00:12:51
Speaker 2: There might be other things going on.
00:12:52
Speaker 1: There we go. Okay.
00:12:55
Speaker 3: If it really is just about sleep, I think we can all be adults about it and try to figure out a compromise, right? But if you actually want to stab someone in their sleep because you want them to shut up or smother them, you might have other rage issues coming from something else that happened during the day or over a long period of time.
00:13:13
Speaker 1: See, that's what I'm... Everybody who marries someone knows they're marrying a snorer, don't they?
00:13:21
Speaker 2: At that point, you probably should already know.
00:13:24
Speaker 1: And you decide it. And you get to a point where, ooh, that's my baby snoring so loud, till you get to this motherfucker. He know I got to get up at five. He know I got to get up at five. And you want them to go to another room or whatever else. That becomes, no, baby, people can't help that they snore. What does it say about where you are in your relationship if that thing they used to do that was a rolling of the eye now becomes... give me a pillow to smother this. Like what happens in between?
00:13:53
Speaker 3: Well, maybe that's why the separate rooms are better because you don't let at least that thing you can control.
00:13:59
Speaker 2: Maybe you can't control.
00:14:00
Speaker 3: The snarky thing he said today or yesterday or the eye roll that she gave you, but you can at least remove the snoring from adding to a list of other grievances.
00:14:10
Speaker 1: See, I asked you this question before. What does it say about us? We're avoiding that thing instead of addressing that thing. We can't be a couple. The one about the airport divorce is the one that really, like, we work all this time so that we can take a vacation together and we don't want to be together at the airport.
00:14:29
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:14:29
Speaker 1: That one is a little more bizarre. I have a hard time with that one. So then help me understand that, baby. And we could do this and you can answer this for me after the break. What does it say then if you are, Robes, not willing to work with your loved one and just want to avoid the issue? I want to avoid putting us in that position because we as a couple can't handle it. What does that say about where your relationship is? Stay here. Robes has the answer to that when we come back. All right. Give me your answer, Robes. Continue here on Amy and TJ. What does that suggest? Or does it suggest... Nothing. Is it okay for a couple to just avoid something difficult? To just avoid the conflict, avoid that thing? Is that the way to go?
00:15:28
Speaker 3: I think in most cases, the answer is no. And with airport divorce, I am right there with you. I think that is.
00:15:35
Speaker 2: Look, I do tend to think.
00:15:37
Speaker 3: And if you look at this study, it is a specific age group, 35 to 44. they are the least willing to compromise with each other. Maybe they're dealing in the middle of kid rearing. There are so many other pressures coming at you. If you can remove the sleep issues, maybe it's just one less thing you have to deal with. And you do find, interestingly, the older people get in their marriages, the more likely they are to sleep in the same bed and deal with each other's shit. Because you just understand that at a certain point, you ain't going to change somebody.
00:16:06
Speaker 2: So you might as well adapt and find a way to compromise. And that to.
00:16:10
Speaker 3: Me is the healthiest way forward. Now, I say this without having snoring being the issue. I do understand if it is like sleep apnea, terrible snoring, there's nothing. and you cannot sleep next to somebody, that would be the one thing I absolutely understand. But are there things that partner could do to stop snoring? That would be the first way I would approach that.
00:16:33
Speaker 2: Like, can we do something about your snoring?
00:16:35
Speaker 3: Because that would be the one thing thing that if that was not possible to change or adjust, I can understand why you couldn't sleep next to that.
00:16:44
Speaker 1: Okay. What are the other things? Snoring, temperature. Those are the main things, aren't they?
00:16:48
Speaker 2: Temperature.
00:16:48
Speaker 3: We actually had this conversation, you and I, today, this morning.
00:16:52
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. I was talking about other couples. What are the things in couples? What are we talking about?
00:16:56
Speaker 3: The temperature?
00:16:56
Speaker 1: Temperature, the snoring.
00:16:58
Speaker 2: It's noise.
00:16:59
Speaker 3: So do you like TV, white noise, and light, like ambient light, the television on?
00:17:04
Speaker 2: Some people want it pitch black. Some people want a night light.
00:17:07
Speaker 1: When you say noise, that's separate from snoring.
00:17:09
Speaker 3: Yes, that's like white noise and or television. Some people have those preferences, right?
00:17:13
Speaker 1: But those are the main things, the issues that people have.
00:17:16
Speaker 2: Temperature, lighting, noise, and then snoring.
00:17:20
Speaker 1: Okay, doesn't every single couple deal with at least... At least two, probably three out of those four.
00:17:26
Speaker 2: Yes, I would think so.
00:17:27
Speaker 1: Okay, how do we deal with that? What's the right way to deal with all those things, and when does it get to a point? There are exceptions in each case. Sometimes a guy works an overnight shift. He has to get up at three. He doesn't want to get in the bed with his wife at 10, 11 o'clock if she snores like crazy. Okay, those are exceptions. But, Robes, what does a couple, generally speaking, for those four things, we just deal with them. What's the right way? I can't imagine having a set, like setting like once or twice a week, something happens is one thing, but the way we move forward in a relationship is to sleep separately.
00:18:03
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:18:03
Speaker 3: For me, that wouldn't be acceptable for me. That wouldn't be acceptable. I understand during March madness, you want to watch games and jump up sometimes. And I understand in March, you don't sleep as often in the bed with me. And I have come to accept that. I recognize that that's a passion and a love of yours. that I don't share with the same fervor.
00:18:24
Speaker 2: And so, yes, I.
00:18:25
Speaker 1: At midnight, you're not exactly trying to watch Loyola Marymount play San Diego State.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: So I understand that there are certain times of the year where you may not always be sleeping in bed with me, but I do think you understand.
00:18:39
Speaker 2: And it comes from a good.
00:18:40
Speaker 3: Place of why I think, I feel like it's important for our relationship, for us to have that physical touch, to have that togetherness in bed like that for me is important but I was surprised that it's not a priority for a lot of folks and I just I thought like to think that nearly half babe of 35 to 44 year olds don't sleep in bed with their partner that is wild.
00:19:06
Speaker 1: To me again why that sweet spot because.
00:19:09
Speaker 3: I was thinking kids a lot of moms I hate to say this generally speaking but I do hear about moms sleeping in bed with their kids or kids in the bed or pets in the bed Like there are all these things that, yes, and I was always anti that. I've always been about, I think that it's just something that I've always tried to protect, sleep. And separate from my children, but together with you. Like that is, to me, the goal.
00:19:36
Speaker 1: Except like we got little kids.
00:19:37
Speaker 2: It's funny, we don't.
00:19:38
Speaker 1: That sounded funny. Separate from my kids, but with you, so. Annalise cannot sleep in bed with us.
00:19:44
Speaker 2: That's so weird.
00:19:45
Speaker 3: But also, I thought it was funny, by the way, did you notice in this sleep survey that they just put.
00:19:50
Speaker 2: Out, the group, the gender that did most of the accommodating?
00:19:54
Speaker 1: Yes, the dudes.
00:19:55
Speaker 2: The men.
00:19:55
Speaker 1: Of course.
00:19:56
Speaker 3: It was significantly that way.
00:19:59
Speaker 2: The men did the accommodating. The women did not.
00:20:02
Speaker 3: But I thought the biggest accommodation that all age groups made Was going to sleep at a different time than they would have ordinarily desired. And that makes a lot of sense. Look, you get up earlier than me. You like to go to bed a little earlier than me. I'll get into bed. And oftentimes I end up falling asleep faster than I would have even imagined.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: And it ends up being a good thing. I end up getting more sleep than I would have.
00:20:25
Speaker 1: That's so weird how that works. You are majority of the time asleep beforehand. Yep.
00:20:31
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't have gone to bed at the time you say, hey, let's go to bed.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: I would have stayed up. But it's funny. I end up falling asleep first.
00:20:39
Speaker 1: Sweetheart, this happens every night. What are you talking about?
00:20:43
Speaker 2: Almost every night.
00:20:45
Speaker 1: I am looking at you. You're doing that thing where you're trying to fake like you weren't sleeping. Yeah, I know. It's the best when we're watching a movie. You just wake up and start making a comment on the movie.
00:20:55
Speaker 2: Oh yeah look at that i can't believe he just did that.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Right you do that it's the best.
00:21:01
Speaker 2: I don't want you to think i was.
00:21:02
Speaker 1: Asleep i know you're asleep babe i've been watching you sleep it's okay it's not a big deal i don't hide it i just go sleep i'll sleep anywhere anytime sometimes i'll.
00:21:10
Speaker 2: Say babe i think you're falling asleep you're like no i'm not.
00:21:13
Speaker 3: I was asleep i wasn't falling asleep i was full-blown dreaming Just then.
00:21:19
Speaker 1: Are we done with this conversation so I can go back to sleep?
00:21:22
Speaker 2: But I do think it's interesting.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: What do you make of after 54, because they broke this down into age groups, all of this just drops.
00:21:29
Speaker 2: Do people just give up?
00:21:30
Speaker 3: Do people sleep harder, better, or do they just like kind of submit just in general to what it is?
00:21:37
Speaker 1: The older you get, I would appreciate having somebody close by checking on me to make sure I'm still okay.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
00:21:45
Speaker 1: You go through your whole life. You do what you want to be. I want to be next to you. And it gets warm for you in the bedroom.
00:21:54
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:21:54
Speaker 1: You get hot. Fine. That makes cuddling difficult at times. It really, really, really, really does. But I need to know the number of times. I know you felt it. Sometimes I will roll over and like just put my face on your shoulder. I'll just put my face on your bare back. And then we go to sleep sometimes and just holding hands in the middle. We do. That's enough.
00:22:18
Speaker 2: I love that.
00:22:19
Speaker 1: I know.
00:22:19
Speaker 2: I can't imagine. I hear, you know what?
00:22:23
Speaker 3: It's funny.
00:22:24
Speaker 2: I often, I most always wake up without you, which I get that. Cause you wake up early.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: It's so sad.
00:22:30
Speaker 3: I know it is sad. Like I hate it actually this morning. I really hated it on the weekends. I want you to wake up with me, but I know you've got your sleep patterns, but I can't imagine. I hate falling asleep without you. I like holding your hand. Like we fall asleep, holding hands. We're so cheesy, but we do almost every night.
00:22:45
Speaker 1: Is that cheesy?
00:22:46
Speaker 2: It's sweet. I like it.
00:22:47
Speaker 1: It's not cheesy. I love it. Um, The last thing, since we are on a cheesy note, I want to end on a different note, a harsher note. Because there's a reason. I have very good reason. I don't use this for not wanting to wake up with you in the morning because of your alarm. Now, everybody listening, I want you all to hear every single freaking morning. Imagine your spouse, your loved one. that you're spending the rest of your life with, sleeping next to you, and they choose a particular song to wake up to, right? People do this. It's not just a regular alarm. You could pick all kinds of stuff. Robes, from the moment I've known her, has used the exact same song. And so even when you say the name of the song, you won't necessarily get it until you go through the first lyrics of that song. And this is the shit I gotta listen to.
00:23:42
Speaker 2: You know what? It's so funny. I haven't even thought about it.
00:23:45
Speaker 1: Think about it now.
00:23:46
Speaker 2: I didn't even recognize.
00:23:48
Speaker 1: Think about your spouse waking up to this every morning.
00:23:51
Speaker 2: I literally had this ringtone.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: I made this my ringtone when I was diagnosed with cancer and I had to get up and I didn't want to. And so I just liked the idea of the song, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger.
00:24:04
Speaker 1: Okay, sounds awesome. That's great. And then you wake up to that every morning. What doesn't kill you makes you strong. What a great way to wake up.
00:24:11
Speaker 3: That is the reason why I chose the song, and it's the reason why I.
00:24:15
Speaker 2: Have a hard time changing it.
00:24:16
Speaker 1: That's fine.
00:24:16
Speaker 2: Because it was just my motivation.
00:24:18
Speaker 1: However, the song doesn't begin with that chorus. It has very specific lyrics robed at the very beginning, which your husband has to hear first. Every morning, if he's waking up next to you.
00:24:32
Speaker 2: I can't remember. You know this bed feels warmer.
00:24:35
Speaker 1: Sleeping here alone. Her ringtone, folks, every single morning. You know this bed feels warmer. Sleeping here alone. Yeah, I'm going to run right in. Let's cuddle up.
00:24:49
Speaker 3: All right, maybe it's time to switch the alarm.
00:24:51
Speaker 1: No, keep your song. Knock yourself out.
00:24:52
Speaker 2: Maybe it's time to switch the alarm.
00:24:54
Speaker 1: Knock yourself out.
00:24:54
Speaker 2: Well, you know what? How about this? Why don't you sleep in tomorrow and see what it is?
00:25:00
Speaker 1: No, I'm going to do a revenge song. Now I've got to find something with some terrible lyrics at the beginning.
00:25:05
Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness. All right, everybody. Happy sleeping. Hope it's with the one you love, or not, if that works for you. To each his own. I guess that's the takeaway.
00:25:16
Speaker 1: Man, you ended on a worse note than I did.
00:25:18
Speaker 2: Right?
00:25:18
Speaker 3: Jesus.
00:25:19
Speaker 1: Okay, wait.
00:25:20
Speaker 2: How about this?
00:25:20
Speaker 3: I'll end with the final thought from the folks who did this study. Healthy sleep is essential for healthy relationships, no matter how it's achieved. Preferred room temperature, work schedules, even preferences for white noise. pets in the room, or light sources can all be factors and should be taken into consideration.
00:25:44
Speaker 1: How about that? Fair enough.
00:25:45
Speaker 3: And with that, everyone, we always appreciate you listening to us. I'm Amy Robach, alongside DJ Holmes.
00:25:50
Speaker 1: We'll talk soon.
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Saturday, November 7th, and one day this week, I found myself sleeping on the couch. No, we didn't get into a fight, and she kicked me out of the bedroom. But sleeping on the couch did end up causing a bit of a fight. And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. We'll put this all in some kind of context robes in a second, but the idea... of a guy sleeping on a couch, your immediate thought is he's in the doghouse kind of a situation. But now we're learning more and more, Rose. Sleeping separately might be good for a relationship.
00:00:54
Speaker 2: Yes, for some relationships.
00:00:57
Speaker 3: I am someone who would rather figure out a compromise or accommodate one another.
00:01:04
Speaker 2: And sleep together.
00:01:05
Speaker 3: That's just maybe I'm holding on to something that's just emotionally based and not logical because yes, it turns out according to the American Academy of Sleep Medicine, there's one group, one age group of folks where nearly half of that group sleep in another bed or another area from their partner.
00:01:27
Speaker 2: That's fairly shocking.
00:01:29
Speaker 1: Um, Okay, so where do you want to go with this? You take it. Which direction? Where do you want to start with this thing? This idea of a sleep divorce is what we're talking about. So you take it away. Which direction do you want to go?
00:01:41
Speaker 3: Well, the sleep divorce just means that you are not sleeping, obviously, with your partner. And there are plenty of folks who believe it saves marriages. And they say, look, the number one reason why people don't sleep in the same bed is because of snoring. I mean, look, every now and then, of course, you've told me I've snored and you've actually recorded video of it.
00:02:03
Speaker 2: And you snore every now and then, but that's not our issue, is it?
00:02:08
Speaker 1: No, I've never gotten, it's rare that I've gotten on the bed because of a disturbance, because of snoring. Yes, it has happened before. Often it has to do with temperature in the room that drives me out, but it's not usually overwhelmingly triggered by your sleep patterns or behavior.
00:02:29
Speaker 2: That's right. So yeah, why were you on the couch on Tuesday?
00:02:33
Speaker 1: I don't sleep that well, and I don't sleep that long. And I often will make a decision to, in order to settle myself down, I will... Get away from the bed or get out of the bedroom because I don't want to disturb you. Our patterns are as such that that can be the case every single night. We are off enough in temperatures, in timing, that we could both have a reason, a legitimate reason, every single night that we don't sleep in the bed. But we don't obviously do that. But it did strike me that it was bothersome to you to find that I had not slept in the bed.
00:03:17
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, like I said, I think it's just an emotional thing because I love you so much and I just want you to be near me. But yes, you have to get practical sometimes and you got to take some of the emotion out of it.
00:03:28
Speaker 1: I get that. I disagree. Yeah, I don't. No, no, no. About the idea that you have to be practical. I don't know. I don't think this idea and they call it a sleep divorce and a lot of people do it. A third of adults do this. That it's just what they do. We don't sleep in the same bed together. That... It ain't my lane, but people do it and it works and they say it actually can be beneficial.
00:03:57
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:03:58
Speaker 3: For me, I go straight to slippery slope. I start thinking, well, you don't sleep together. Then you don't eat meals together. Then you don't vacation together.
00:04:09
Speaker 2: We talk about airport divorces.
00:04:11
Speaker 3: And sleep divorces, and I understand people do what they need to do to try and keep a relationship healthy. But for me, I would rather figure out a compromise that.
00:04:21
Speaker 2: We can both live with and do it together.
00:04:24
Speaker 3: I just feel like just having lived enough life, having had enough relationships, I do feel like there can be a slippery slope.
00:04:32
Speaker 1: What does that mean?
00:04:34
Speaker 3: Just meaning you start doing things separately and things start feeling separately.
00:04:38
Speaker 2: And you don't attack or you.
00:04:41
Speaker 3: Don't go through your life or through your day or even through your problems with a team mentality.
00:04:48
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is where the science and the scientists come in and suggest that, yes, if it's disruptive to your relationship, how you sleep, if it causes fights... Because you do not sleep as much, and then you're irritable. All these things they are suggesting, just because you have a sleep divorce doesn't mean you're on the way to a real divorce or you're in a way on the path to that, and it doesn't suggest that something is wrong with your relationship. That actually makes sense to me. You talked about the slippery slope, though. I mean, at what point do you start, instead of saying, how can we work this out? You and I are going to spend our lives together. We should not be doing something... that we have to do every night, we are making a decision to do it separately.
00:05:35
Speaker 2: Yeah, I get it. And look, to each their own.
00:05:40
Speaker 3: By the way, this new study, this was done, again, by the American Academy of Sleep Medicine. The question that they asked was, do you ever do any of the following to adjust your sleep routine to accommodate a partner? And then they asked a series of questions, and among them, yes, was to sleep in another bed, in another space. The other thing that I thought was interesting, go to sleep at a different time than desired. to accommodate your partner. I think everyone probably does that. The other one was use a silent alarm. I don't even know what a silent alarm is. Is that a buzzing thing?
00:06:10
Speaker 1: Maybe something you wear on your arm. You do something to not disturb the other person.
00:06:15
Speaker 2: Correct.
00:06:15
Speaker 1: To wake you up, yes.
00:06:16
Speaker 3: But I thought it was interesting they didn't ask in terms of the accommodation because these are our issues in terms of accommodation. Do you sleep at a different temperature than you would have otherwise chosen? Do you sleep with noise or different light than you would have otherwise?
00:06:30
Speaker 2: There are a lot of.
00:06:33
Speaker 3: Compromises that take place because people have different ways of soothing themselves and how to not only fall asleep but stay asleep there are a lot of adjustments i think partners make it's i think it's good to know that other people are all dealing with the same stuff basically but.
00:06:48
Speaker 1: We always know isn't this from the beginning of time the temperatures are different they start making mattresses in which you could adjust the temperature of the damn things This has been a thing. Does it mean anything more? What does it mean to me? I am saying my comfort in my sleep is more important than sleeping next to the person I love. Now, when you say it like that, you go, oh, shit. I didn't even think about it until I put it that way. But when you say it like that, okay. And there's a practical way to look at that. Sure.
00:07:20
Speaker 3: Sure.
00:07:21
Speaker 1: Is that the most important thing? And if it is, does it mean you love that person any less? So your relationship isn't as strong as that other couple that sleeps next? I don't know.
00:07:30
Speaker 3: People swear by it. People swear by the airport divorce. People swear by the sleep divorce. I have heard people swear by having a long distance relationship because you get me time, alone time. I guess everybody is different and they have different Different places they're willing to compromise and different places they're not.
00:07:49
Speaker 2: But I do think it's interesting.
00:07:51
Speaker 3: I told you I was reading a spokesperson for the study put it like this. And I think this helps me understand and maybe.
00:08:00
Speaker 2: Take some of the emotion out of it.
00:08:02
Speaker 3: But she said, as clinicians, we've seen our patients and their spouses become more intentional about their sleep environment as they try to improve their sleep health. Often this includes a conversation about separate sleep spaces to accommodate temperature preferences, ambient lighting, and noise, because when our sleep is compromised due to a disruptive.
00:08:26
Speaker 2: Partner, resentment can grow.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: Poor sleep leads to diminished empathy, patience, and understanding. Rather than fostering a poor sleep environment for appearances... A thoughtful conversation with your bed partner can result in a stronger relationship because each partner is achieving more restful sleep.
00:08:48
Speaker 1: Okay. But that puts the priority at your sleep.
00:08:54
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:08:56
Speaker 1: Right. What if the priority I should think be the relationship? Is that weird? Is that wrong? No.
00:09:04
Speaker 2: And that's where I struggle.
00:09:06
Speaker 3: But I think there is something to be said for both because I guess the point being is if you have a continued diminished sleep quality, your relationship is going to probably suffer.
00:09:19
Speaker 1: But that jumped out at me because it suggested resentment was the thing, not just that I am I am a bad partner, oftentimes, because I don't sleep well. And I am irritable, and I am shorter, and not as loving, and all these... Now, that's different. I don't have a resentment because you had brown noise playing, and... It was really cold in the room. I don't resent you for how you're comfortable sleeping. I'm not there at all. So that was a difficult one to get on board with. We got different problems.
00:09:54
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, I get it. And like, I totally, and I feel the same way.
00:09:57
Speaker 3: I don't feel resentment towards you that yes, you, want a TV on because that's how you quiet your thoughts. If someone else is talking, you can kind of quiet your brain from going into overdrive.
00:10:08
Speaker 2: That makes sense to me.
00:10:10
Speaker 3: Your television would have been my Brown noise, which I always like to have something on.
00:10:14
Speaker 2: So I have kind of adjusted.
00:10:15
Speaker 3: Because I have been able to turn television into Into my brown noise.
00:10:19
Speaker 2: Because I have always wanted, I had the same issue.
00:10:22
Speaker 3: I needed something to basically overcome my thoughts, which would keep me up.
00:10:28
Speaker 2: So I totally get that.
00:10:30
Speaker 1: And the brown noise does that?
00:10:32
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:10:32
Speaker 1: That's weird.
00:10:33
Speaker 2: It like quiets my thoughts.
00:10:34
Speaker 1: I thought it drowns, I thought it was supposed to drown out other stuff.
00:10:37
Speaker 2: No, for me it fills the silence. So yes, it can.
00:10:40
Speaker 3: If you've got city noise or you've got some sort of construction, or honestly, you don't hardly ever snore, but on rare occasions when you do and I wake up, I will turn it on because it will drown that out for me. But I also think that that white noise or that brown noise, that's my favorite.
00:10:58
Speaker 2: Is it fills the silence.
00:11:01
Speaker 3: Silence sometimes can be deafening when you're trying to sleep because All you hear are your, so tomorrow I have to do this. And why did I say that today? And you think he's mad at me? Because I think maybe I, yes, that's what starts, this loop goes on. So I understand the need for something to replace or displace those thoughts.
00:11:20
Speaker 1: See, but the brown noise is just, I need a stream of thought going somewhere other than where my thoughts are. If I just hear, that's just more annoying. So wait, I'm hearing this noise, and it's not helping me drown out what I'm thinking.
00:11:33
Speaker 2: It relaxes my thoughts.
00:11:35
Speaker 1: Oh, God.
00:11:35
Speaker 3: I just get kind of swept out to sea, like mentally, if that makes any sense.
00:11:39
Speaker 1: You've done this before. Oh, I can't remember where we were, but we are big time. ocean travelers we love traveling somewhere and sitting and hearing ocean waves crash you we were somewhere and you had like white noise a brown noise on and waves were crashing i'm like what people actually put on wave crashing as their background noise when they sleep you were drowning that out that was where was that I think that was in Mexico. Was that Mexico? The most recent? Yes. Oh, my God.
00:12:06
Speaker 2: It was just one night where it was too much. And so I had to drown out the waves crashing.
00:12:11
Speaker 1: That was the best time ever for me. It was great. They were thundering as we slept. And you put on white.
00:12:17
Speaker 2: That was funny. We didn't need TV that time, I don't feel like.
00:12:21
Speaker 1: Oh, I love it.
00:12:21
Speaker 3: Because that was perfect. But look, I do think that snoring could make you resentful. You know it's not that person's fault. You know they're not doing it on purpose.
00:12:30
Speaker 2: Resentful? But it makes people angry. Oh, I mean, absolutely.
00:12:35
Speaker 3: I have heard friends and relatives discussing. Thankfully, you and I don't have that problem. But it can be so disruptive that, yes. And they say that is the number one reason.
00:12:47
Speaker 1: But isn't that a suggestion? If it leads you to resentment.
00:12:51
Speaker 2: There might be other things going on.
00:12:52
Speaker 1: There we go. Okay.
00:12:55
Speaker 3: If it really is just about sleep, I think we can all be adults about it and try to figure out a compromise, right? But if you actually want to stab someone in their sleep because you want them to shut up or smother them, you might have other rage issues coming from something else that happened during the day or over a long period of time.
00:13:13
Speaker 1: See, that's what I'm... Everybody who marries someone knows they're marrying a snorer, don't they?
00:13:21
Speaker 2: At that point, you probably should already know.
00:13:24
Speaker 1: And you decide it. And you get to a point where, ooh, that's my baby snoring so loud, till you get to this motherfucker. He know I got to get up at five. He know I got to get up at five. And you want them to go to another room or whatever else. That becomes, no, baby, people can't help that they snore. What does it say about where you are in your relationship if that thing they used to do that was a rolling of the eye now becomes... give me a pillow to smother this. Like what happens in between?
00:13:53
Speaker 3: Well, maybe that's why the separate rooms are better because you don't let at least that thing you can control.
00:13:59
Speaker 2: Maybe you can't control.
00:14:00
Speaker 3: The snarky thing he said today or yesterday or the eye roll that she gave you, but you can at least remove the snoring from adding to a list of other grievances.
00:14:10
Speaker 1: See, I asked you this question before. What does it say about us? We're avoiding that thing instead of addressing that thing. We can't be a couple. The one about the airport divorce is the one that really, like, we work all this time so that we can take a vacation together and we don't want to be together at the airport.
00:14:29
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:14:29
Speaker 1: That one is a little more bizarre. I have a hard time with that one. So then help me understand that, baby. And we could do this and you can answer this for me after the break. What does it say then if you are, Robes, not willing to work with your loved one and just want to avoid the issue? I want to avoid putting us in that position because we as a couple can't handle it. What does that say about where your relationship is? Stay here. Robes has the answer to that when we come back. All right. Give me your answer, Robes. Continue here on Amy and TJ. What does that suggest? Or does it suggest... Nothing. Is it okay for a couple to just avoid something difficult? To just avoid the conflict, avoid that thing? Is that the way to go?
00:15:28
Speaker 3: I think in most cases, the answer is no. And with airport divorce, I am right there with you. I think that is.
00:15:35
Speaker 2: Look, I do tend to think.
00:15:37
Speaker 3: And if you look at this study, it is a specific age group, 35 to 44. they are the least willing to compromise with each other. Maybe they're dealing in the middle of kid rearing. There are so many other pressures coming at you. If you can remove the sleep issues, maybe it's just one less thing you have to deal with. And you do find, interestingly, the older people get in their marriages, the more likely they are to sleep in the same bed and deal with each other's shit. Because you just understand that at a certain point, you ain't going to change somebody.
00:16:06
Speaker 2: So you might as well adapt and find a way to compromise. And that to.
00:16:10
Speaker 3: Me is the healthiest way forward. Now, I say this without having snoring being the issue. I do understand if it is like sleep apnea, terrible snoring, there's nothing. and you cannot sleep next to somebody, that would be the one thing I absolutely understand. But are there things that partner could do to stop snoring? That would be the first way I would approach that.
00:16:33
Speaker 2: Like, can we do something about your snoring?
00:16:35
Speaker 3: Because that would be the one thing thing that if that was not possible to change or adjust, I can understand why you couldn't sleep next to that.
00:16:44
Speaker 1: Okay. What are the other things? Snoring, temperature. Those are the main things, aren't they?
00:16:48
Speaker 2: Temperature.
00:16:48
Speaker 3: We actually had this conversation, you and I, today, this morning.
00:16:52
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm sorry. I was talking about other couples. What are the things in couples? What are we talking about?
00:16:56
Speaker 3: The temperature?
00:16:56
Speaker 1: Temperature, the snoring.
00:16:58
Speaker 2: It's noise.
00:16:59
Speaker 3: So do you like TV, white noise, and light, like ambient light, the television on?
00:17:04
Speaker 2: Some people want it pitch black. Some people want a night light.
00:17:07
Speaker 1: When you say noise, that's separate from snoring.
00:17:09
Speaker 3: Yes, that's like white noise and or television. Some people have those preferences, right?
00:17:13
Speaker 1: But those are the main things, the issues that people have.
00:17:16
Speaker 2: Temperature, lighting, noise, and then snoring.
00:17:20
Speaker 1: Okay, doesn't every single couple deal with at least... At least two, probably three out of those four.
00:17:26
Speaker 2: Yes, I would think so.
00:17:27
Speaker 1: Okay, how do we deal with that? What's the right way to deal with all those things, and when does it get to a point? There are exceptions in each case. Sometimes a guy works an overnight shift. He has to get up at three. He doesn't want to get in the bed with his wife at 10, 11 o'clock if she snores like crazy. Okay, those are exceptions. But, Robes, what does a couple, generally speaking, for those four things, we just deal with them. What's the right way? I can't imagine having a set, like setting like once or twice a week, something happens is one thing, but the way we move forward in a relationship is to sleep separately.
00:18:03
Speaker 2: Yeah.
00:18:03
Speaker 3: For me, that wouldn't be acceptable for me. That wouldn't be acceptable. I understand during March madness, you want to watch games and jump up sometimes. And I understand in March, you don't sleep as often in the bed with me. And I have come to accept that. I recognize that that's a passion and a love of yours. that I don't share with the same fervor.
00:18:24
Speaker 2: And so, yes, I.
00:18:25
Speaker 1: At midnight, you're not exactly trying to watch Loyola Marymount play San Diego State.
00:18:32
Speaker 3: So I understand that there are certain times of the year where you may not always be sleeping in bed with me, but I do think you understand.
00:18:39
Speaker 2: And it comes from a good.
00:18:40
Speaker 3: Place of why I think, I feel like it's important for our relationship, for us to have that physical touch, to have that togetherness in bed like that for me is important but I was surprised that it's not a priority for a lot of folks and I just I thought like to think that nearly half babe of 35 to 44 year olds don't sleep in bed with their partner that is wild.
00:19:06
Speaker 1: To me again why that sweet spot because.
00:19:09
Speaker 3: I was thinking kids a lot of moms I hate to say this generally speaking but I do hear about moms sleeping in bed with their kids or kids in the bed or pets in the bed Like there are all these things that, yes, and I was always anti that. I've always been about, I think that it's just something that I've always tried to protect, sleep. And separate from my children, but together with you. Like that is, to me, the goal.
00:19:36
Speaker 1: Except like we got little kids.
00:19:37
Speaker 2: It's funny, we don't.
00:19:38
Speaker 1: That sounded funny. Separate from my kids, but with you, so. Annalise cannot sleep in bed with us.
00:19:44
Speaker 2: That's so weird.
00:19:45
Speaker 3: But also, I thought it was funny, by the way, did you notice in this sleep survey that they just put.
00:19:50
Speaker 2: Out, the group, the gender that did most of the accommodating?
00:19:54
Speaker 1: Yes, the dudes.
00:19:55
Speaker 2: The men.
00:19:55
Speaker 1: Of course.
00:19:56
Speaker 3: It was significantly that way.
00:19:59
Speaker 2: The men did the accommodating. The women did not.
00:20:02
Speaker 3: But I thought the biggest accommodation that all age groups made Was going to sleep at a different time than they would have ordinarily desired. And that makes a lot of sense. Look, you get up earlier than me. You like to go to bed a little earlier than me. I'll get into bed. And oftentimes I end up falling asleep faster than I would have even imagined.
00:20:21
Speaker 2: And it ends up being a good thing. I end up getting more sleep than I would have.
00:20:25
Speaker 1: That's so weird how that works. You are majority of the time asleep beforehand. Yep.
00:20:31
Speaker 3: But I wouldn't have gone to bed at the time you say, hey, let's go to bed.
00:20:36
Speaker 2: I would have stayed up. But it's funny. I end up falling asleep first.
00:20:39
Speaker 1: Sweetheart, this happens every night. What are you talking about?
00:20:43
Speaker 2: Almost every night.
00:20:45
Speaker 1: I am looking at you. You're doing that thing where you're trying to fake like you weren't sleeping. Yeah, I know. It's the best when we're watching a movie. You just wake up and start making a comment on the movie.
00:20:55
Speaker 2: Oh yeah look at that i can't believe he just did that.
00:20:58
Speaker 1: Right you do that it's the best.
00:21:01
Speaker 2: I don't want you to think i was.
00:21:02
Speaker 1: Asleep i know you're asleep babe i've been watching you sleep it's okay it's not a big deal i don't hide it i just go sleep i'll sleep anywhere anytime sometimes i'll.
00:21:10
Speaker 2: Say babe i think you're falling asleep you're like no i'm not.
00:21:13
Speaker 3: I was asleep i wasn't falling asleep i was full-blown dreaming Just then.
00:21:19
Speaker 1: Are we done with this conversation so I can go back to sleep?
00:21:22
Speaker 2: But I do think it's interesting.
00:21:23
Speaker 3: What do you make of after 54, because they broke this down into age groups, all of this just drops.
00:21:29
Speaker 2: Do people just give up?
00:21:30
Speaker 3: Do people sleep harder, better, or do they just like kind of submit just in general to what it is?
00:21:37
Speaker 1: The older you get, I would appreciate having somebody close by checking on me to make sure I'm still okay.
00:21:43
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
00:21:45
Speaker 1: You go through your whole life. You do what you want to be. I want to be next to you. And it gets warm for you in the bedroom.
00:21:54
Speaker 2: Yes.
00:21:54
Speaker 1: You get hot. Fine. That makes cuddling difficult at times. It really, really, really, really does. But I need to know the number of times. I know you felt it. Sometimes I will roll over and like just put my face on your shoulder. I'll just put my face on your bare back. And then we go to sleep sometimes and just holding hands in the middle. We do. That's enough.
00:22:18
Speaker 2: I love that.
00:22:19
Speaker 1: I know.
00:22:19
Speaker 2: I can't imagine. I hear, you know what?
00:22:23
Speaker 3: It's funny.
00:22:24
Speaker 2: I often, I most always wake up without you, which I get that. Cause you wake up early.
00:22:29
Speaker 1: It's so sad.
00:22:30
Speaker 3: I know it is sad. Like I hate it actually this morning. I really hated it on the weekends. I want you to wake up with me, but I know you've got your sleep patterns, but I can't imagine. I hate falling asleep without you. I like holding your hand. Like we fall asleep, holding hands. We're so cheesy, but we do almost every night.
00:22:45
Speaker 1: Is that cheesy?
00:22:46
Speaker 2: It's sweet. I like it.
00:22:47
Speaker 1: It's not cheesy. I love it. Um, The last thing, since we are on a cheesy note, I want to end on a different note, a harsher note. Because there's a reason. I have very good reason. I don't use this for not wanting to wake up with you in the morning because of your alarm. Now, everybody listening, I want you all to hear every single freaking morning. Imagine your spouse, your loved one. that you're spending the rest of your life with, sleeping next to you, and they choose a particular song to wake up to, right? People do this. It's not just a regular alarm. You could pick all kinds of stuff. Robes, from the moment I've known her, has used the exact same song. And so even when you say the name of the song, you won't necessarily get it until you go through the first lyrics of that song. And this is the shit I gotta listen to.
00:23:42
Speaker 2: You know what? It's so funny. I haven't even thought about it.
00:23:45
Speaker 1: Think about it now.
00:23:46
Speaker 2: I didn't even recognize.
00:23:48
Speaker 1: Think about your spouse waking up to this every morning.
00:23:51
Speaker 2: I literally had this ringtone.
00:23:54
Speaker 3: I made this my ringtone when I was diagnosed with cancer and I had to get up and I didn't want to. And so I just liked the idea of the song, What Doesn't Kill You Makes You Stronger.
00:24:04
Speaker 1: Okay, sounds awesome. That's great. And then you wake up to that every morning. What doesn't kill you makes you strong. What a great way to wake up.
00:24:11
Speaker 3: That is the reason why I chose the song, and it's the reason why I.
00:24:15
Speaker 2: Have a hard time changing it.
00:24:16
Speaker 1: That's fine.
00:24:16
Speaker 2: Because it was just my motivation.
00:24:18
Speaker 1: However, the song doesn't begin with that chorus. It has very specific lyrics robed at the very beginning, which your husband has to hear first. Every morning, if he's waking up next to you.
00:24:32
Speaker 2: I can't remember. You know this bed feels warmer.
00:24:35
Speaker 1: Sleeping here alone. Her ringtone, folks, every single morning. You know this bed feels warmer. Sleeping here alone. Yeah, I'm going to run right in. Let's cuddle up.
00:24:49
Speaker 3: All right, maybe it's time to switch the alarm.
00:24:51
Speaker 1: No, keep your song. Knock yourself out.
00:24:52
Speaker 2: Maybe it's time to switch the alarm.
00:24:54
Speaker 1: Knock yourself out.
00:24:54
Speaker 2: Well, you know what? How about this? Why don't you sleep in tomorrow and see what it is?
00:25:00
Speaker 1: No, I'm going to do a revenge song. Now I've got to find something with some terrible lyrics at the beginning.
00:25:05
Speaker 2: Oh, my goodness. All right, everybody. Happy sleeping. Hope it's with the one you love, or not, if that works for you. To each his own. I guess that's the takeaway.
00:25:16
Speaker 1: Man, you ended on a worse note than I did.
00:25:18
Speaker 2: Right?
00:25:18
Speaker 3: Jesus.
00:25:19
Speaker 1: Okay, wait.
00:25:20
Speaker 2: How about this?
00:25:20
Speaker 3: I'll end with the final thought from the folks who did this study. Healthy sleep is essential for healthy relationships, no matter how it's achieved. Preferred room temperature, work schedules, even preferences for white noise. pets in the room, or light sources can all be factors and should be taken into consideration.
00:25:44
Speaker 1: How about that? Fair enough.
00:25:45
Speaker 3: And with that, everyone, we always appreciate you listening to us. I'm Amy Robach, alongside DJ Holmes.
00:25:50
Speaker 1: We'll talk soon.