June 25, 2026
How “Broken D**ks” Healed Her Trauma With Her Father - Seriously!
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RSS Feed How does someone go from being a screenwriter to helping men with erectile dysfunction?!
Cheryl Burke sits down with Kristina Denton to talk about her unique experience working with men with E.D. and how it taught her about men’s insecurities, how to feel safe with men, …and somehow healed her deep-rooted issues with her father she’d been holding onto.
Kristina’s memoir “You Don’t Know D!ck!” is out June 30th!
Email us at: IDOPOD@iheartradio.com or call us at 844-4-I Do Pod (844-443-6763)
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00:00:14
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. It is your celebrity mentor Cheryl Burke, and today I have a wild story to unpack with my guests. Somehow, I don't know how, but she went from acting to working with men who have a rectile dysfunction two writing a memoir, A lot to unpack, to say the least, her memoir You Don't Know Dick, is out June thirtieth.
00:00:37
Speaker 2: Please welcome Christina Den to the pod.
00:00:40
Speaker 1: Okay, so we obviously have a lot to talk about. I mean talk about like a hook, right when it comes to your book, it's a hook in itself.
00:00:50
Speaker 2: So you were an actress first.
00:00:52
Speaker 1: Right, and now you have written a book and you've gotten into screenwriting as well. But you basically started working with men who had a rectile dysfunction.
00:01:03
Speaker 2: How did that happen? And how did you just fall into place? There?
00:01:07
Speaker 3: Not naturally not a natural segue, right, It's like, how would you go from this to this? So, as many people probably know actors, you know, we have to have a lot of day jobs, right to get by between gigs. And my friends were opening a wellness center in la and asked me if I would help them be the office manager, and I said absolutely, and we were doing ivy nutrition, cryotherapy, you know, all the things that La wellness centers offer. But the problem is is that there's so many of them here. They're so competitive. It's like there's one in every strip mall, and so they're like, how are we going to make money and survive? So the owner, the mail owner of this couple, here's this Joe Rogan podcast talking about this service for reptil a dysfunction and it's non invasive and so you know, you don't necessarily have to be a licensed medical professional to do it, and it was his solution to saving the clinic. And so he approached me as I'm like holding towels for the cryod therapy machine day, and I was like, I'm sorry, Like my comedian brain was like did you just say that? Like we're going to be dick fixers? Like I don't know how to process this right, Like it was so at the time so hilarious to me to either the idea that this existed. And so next thing I know, it's like I'm on a plane to Tucson, Arizona to get certified. And the only reason I said yes, is because fascination. I needed more money. They were going to pay me more, and you know, I was like I can handle something like this. I'm mature enough, right, And so you know, little did I know there's an entire industry out there that is, you know, doctors are paying their mortgages for solutions for retail dysfunction. And so this was innovative, groundbreaking way to go without having to do pills and injections and all these other things guys have been doing for years.
00:02:48
Speaker 2: Right, what did that entail? Like this sort of certification of Yes, it was like this day.
00:02:55
Speaker 3: Long seminar Intoucson where we're staring at cross actions of male anatomy blown up on this projector. And of course I'm like giggling and I'm looking around. I'm like, oh, they take it very seriously. I'm the only like immature person here that's not a medical professional, right, And I you know, I studied theology in college, so it wasn't completely foreign to me, but it was still just like this is wild. And then we had to practice on two different volunteers. So we had to use this device that looks like a gun. It's like a space ship, like a futuristic looking gun and put it onto the men's you know part, and it was like all around, all around, underneath, everywhere. So this wasn't just you know, the member, it was it was so foreign to me, Like I just kept feeling like I was watching myself have this out of body experience. And so after that we were technically certified and came back to LA and two weeks later I had my first client.
00:03:52
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
00:03:54
Speaker 1: Okay, so what do you think, I guess is the most shocking thing that you can think of that women would find surprising about men and their penises?
00:04:02
Speaker 3: You know, I think listen, I was. I was one of these women that went into this again thinking this was a joke. It was like, of course, old dudes just want to like keep their penises hard forever, like this is I was in the school of thought of like ewgross, like of course they're pervs, right, like this is where meat for sure. The fact that I was then like a few months in after I kind of got over the silliness of it, I started fosnessing something that I didn't even know men were capable of, which was deep, deep levels of shame. Oh, like so much shame when it comes to this part of their body not working. And that could be because it's how they define their manhood, right, it's this of what makes them a man. And if they're not able to perform, well then what are they?
00:04:45
Speaker 1: Right?
00:04:46
Speaker 3: And so, my gosh, this was this most insane kind of almost like spiritual classroom into the male vulnerability like crisis of I have all these feelings, I have nowhere for them to go because society doesn't let me express them safe, safely and welcomely. Right, I was so my brain was so scrambled and transformed after that. So I think, like women, I can't imagine I'm much different than most women where when you have I had a front row seat to male shame and I didn't have that possible, I think. So there's so much in my book that I'm trying to sort of cover about this, to to sort of open the conversation, to to shed light on this very normal yet super you know, taboo topic that of sexual dysfunction.
00:05:34
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, so yeah, for real, for real, Well, why do you think men in general connect their manhood to their penises, because we don't do that with our vaginas.
00:05:46
Speaker 3: No, we don't we definitely don't. I think, oh my gosh, I feel like it's like so much of it is. It could be a combination of physiological drive, societal expectations. They think women have on them.
00:05:58
Speaker 2: They think, yeah, that they're cold.
00:06:01
Speaker 3: This is what makes you a man, right, right, Like the better more money, right, Like it's like they define they have these like checkboxes of what make them a man, and this is such a huge part of that. And when it's broken, it's like it it doesn't matter how much money you have, right, I saw listen, I saw men from the ages of eighteen to eighty. I saw eighteen motorcycle accident. Right, there's all these things we don't realize, like, oh, it can break, Like I.
00:06:30
Speaker 2: Didn't know, Oh it can break.
00:06:32
Speaker 3: I didn't know it could break. It can break for physical injury, sex accidents. There's so many things that cause like scar tissue build up and then it goes crooked. Like there's so many different things that deform and make the thing not function properly.
00:06:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a muscle, right, Like, I guess it's the same thing, and they call it.
00:06:50
Speaker 3: I guess they call it an organ, but it feels down more like it. Yeah, there's muscles that are around the area that help. But it's yeah, so I was just the insight. I was like, man, they I have this line in the book where I'm like, man, do men go to more extreme links to save their dicks than we do to save our faces? Like you know what I mean? Because I'm like, maybe, like maybe it's.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: There skincare for their.
00:07:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like so there's botox. Now there's like all kinds of testicles like I've heard. We didn't do that, but I heard all these things. We actually also offered pea shots, which is PRP and we know what Vieyes, right, So spinning your blood, getting the platelets, all the beautiful plasma that helps heal, and you stick it in.
00:07:37
Speaker 2: There, it means your penis age backwards.
00:07:39
Speaker 3: It's like let's reverse. Yeah, let's keep it, keep it nice and does it work caculation? It does. Now, granted I'm not again, I'm not a medical professional. If you are somebody who has you know, diabetes, high cholesterol, things that are already compromising calculation, it's going to be a more difficult road. But yes, it was. It wasn't like a permanent thing, but it was something that you. It's like a preventative thing. It can help, like.
00:08:04
Speaker 2: For us, like for PRP when we do PUP.
00:08:06
Speaker 1: That's why you do it. You want to do it the not the younger younger, but like you know, you want to do it as a preventative thing, not.
00:08:13
Speaker 2: Just not going to work.
00:08:14
Speaker 3: Delay the night, right, yeah, not take it away, but delay the indevitable.
00:08:29
Speaker 1: So when these men walk into the room and they see you're beautiful, you know obviously. And I remember my stepdad saying this to me recently. I think he got he had to.
00:08:38
Speaker 2: Get checked right, it was like a physical or whatever, and he was like.
00:08:42
Speaker 1: This woman was just so beautiful, this nurse and like she had to like feel my balls basically, and like how do they do at first? Do they become defensive or are they just right away vulnerable?
00:08:53
Speaker 3: All of it? Honestly, I saw it all. I definitely there were men that blatantly looked at me and said, no, you're not treating me, like before their pants are off, obviously they were.
00:09:03
Speaker 2: Like I get it, I get it.
00:09:05
Speaker 3: And but owners are like, look like this is La. She's our old like she's our technician. And so after they kind of got over themselves you know, I definitely got the peacock and you're like, oh, what is your boyfriend think of?
00:09:15
Speaker 2: There?
00:09:16
Speaker 3: Was your husband like just trying.
00:09:17
Speaker 2: To Are they trying to hit on you when you're trying to do this?
00:09:19
Speaker 3: On this I honestly had only one guy out of I think almost four hundred guys. I treated one guy be weird with me and like kind of pervert, No, tell me what a good job I was doing. And I was like he was not welcome back. But honestly, they're they're in such a vulnerable position, right, and they're coming in like, Hi, my manhoods that compromise and it can you help me? They don't have it in them to like then also hit on Like there's no way that was happening, right, Thank God for me.
00:09:46
Speaker 1: But yeah, so why do you do you think that like a lot of these men, you know, there's this whole, like you said earlier, with the size of their penis and all of that.
00:09:56
Speaker 2: Why is that? So? Why does that define a man and a man's hood? I guess so much.
00:10:02
Speaker 1: Because like I honestly don't think every woman cares about the size, Like I really don't know.
00:10:07
Speaker 3: No, And you know, it's something that's interesting that I've been like, you know, I resource this a while back. But like women, we all have different sizes too. Inside you you are different shapes, different sizes, different.
00:10:17
Speaker 2: As Absolutely you can only fit in so much, if you know what I mean.
00:10:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's not like a universal vagina that men are all trying to like live up too, you know. So there's not a universal dick side color anything, right, And I I did not have a clue how much variety there was until of course I was witnessing it. But it was just yeah, it makes me really sad that there's still that same thing out there in society that's like all bigger, but you know, and it's like, man, can we just like drop that already? Like it's actually I wanted other women.
00:10:46
Speaker 2: I don't think the bigger the better, no doubt that.
00:10:49
Speaker 3: No, I think sometimes too big is not great at all.
00:10:52
Speaker 2: Well, now you want this to be an enjoyable experience.
00:10:55
Speaker 3: Racing for impact the whole time? Yes, yeah, like not doing like a prayer, like God, it's not meant for me, like this is not We're not made for each other. Sorry, this is not gonna work.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, God, Yeah, that's just so what do you like when you win. They pulled their pants down and they show you their penis, like is it there?
00:11:16
Speaker 2: You see right away there's a sense of shame.
00:11:19
Speaker 3: So so here let me show you. Like, okay, so picture a treatment table right, like a doctor's office with the medical like the gross paper.
00:11:27
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, of course it's horrible.
00:11:29
Speaker 3: And I let them undress obviously without me in the room. Right, I was like, get ready, put this little medical drape over. You have some like dignity for yourself. So they're staring up at the sky at these horrible you know, the fluorescent lighting of a medical office. I try to lower the lights. I try to make it all spot lighting horrible. Yeah, I try to like make it. I put like Serenes Bob music on and like had like diffusers, it's nice. I was trying to make them feel safe and comfortable because I knew this is horrible. And so then it's like, you know, the big reveal of Okay, now I have to pull down the drape. And so if they're just like literally like steering up the sky like like most of them were just immediately like embarrassed, quiet, internal, uh defensive, you know, because now it's like and also I'm seeing it placid. I'm not seeing what the potential is right right, you know, And and so there, and of course there were guys some of them did get hard right away, which was that I was like, that happened, and I was like, hey, we did it, you know.
00:12:28
Speaker 2: No, You're like, hey, go get go sort yourself out. Coming.
00:12:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get a refund. Yeah. But they were numb also, like you know how like I get like I've had like yes on my face for injections, right, so you mean like actually numb. They we would put numbing cream on they, like, we would have them apply it an hour before the treatment. Nowadays they might be a little different, but that would help desensitize the impact of this machine because it was very aggressive. Yeah, sounds like a jackhammer, okay, doing construction.
00:12:59
Speaker 1: Like how many sessions do they go through? I'm sure it's personal.
00:13:03
Speaker 3: That's like the protocol calls for six over six weeks, So either they would do three weeks and then we'd like give them two months off to kind of have everything start working in the body, and then three more sessions later they'd come back.
00:13:14
Speaker 2: So it was does it work? Yeah, every time?
00:13:18
Speaker 3: Most of the guys, I saw saw improvement. Absolutely. Now, it's not making it bigger. Let's be clear about that, because a lot of how I'm gonna come and there were guys coming to me like I don't have interactile dysfunction problem, but I just want to see if it can get bigger. Oh come on, Well it's like think about like when you do a bicep, curl your muscle like e gorges with more blood. That's all that's happening with something. Right. It's not gonna make it bigger, but it will make it feel and look fuller. So there was that bit of confidence.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: That was interesting.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: Yeah okay or blood flow right.
00:13:48
Speaker 1: So yeah, so basically this is the equivalent of us going to get botox.
00:13:53
Speaker 3: It's a lot in the same way. Yeah, like we're trying to do laser we're trying to like anything plump and you make this they want.
00:14:00
Speaker 1: Like we go like what every few months? Like same things for them, right, Yeah.
00:14:04
Speaker 3: So what they would say back then, I was when I was trained, it was like eighteen It would last like eighteen months before they'd have to feel like, oh maybe I need to do it again. But I would send them with homework us homework penis pump.
00:14:16
Speaker 2: Oh does that work?
00:14:17
Speaker 3: Yes? So we like what part of protocol was is that they had to use this during their treatment for me. With me for six weeks they used it twice a day for ten minutes each.
00:14:26
Speaker 2: It's a day.
00:14:27
Speaker 3: And now I'm like all of my friends everyone in my life. I'm like, if you're over forty, you need a penis pump and you should be using it twice a week. It's like cardio for your dick. That's how you have to think of it, because yeah, I guess, so that's flow and kind of clearing the debris, right, because the blood vessels and the penis are so much smaller than anywhere else, and they're farther away from the heart, so they claw with clack first, and it's like a warning sign for guys. If that starts happening. Usually with three to five years, you're looking at heart problems. So it's like I would say, like it's your check engine light, right, It's.
00:14:57
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, you get gotta get it circulation.
00:15:01
Speaker 3: Through penis boot Camp. I called this penis boot camp because I used to be a personal trainer. I don't know. I was like, look, we're going to clean up our lifestyle. We're gonna start eating healthy, we're gonna start working now, we're going to use this pump like and we're gonna get our penis back. You know.
00:15:12
Speaker 1: Oh my, it was fascinating. Let's transition a little bit. What did you learn about yourself working there?
00:15:30
Speaker 3: Okay, So the biggest transformation that happened for me was finding safety with men like I had. I was given this blueprint for men by my father that was he was an alcoholic, he was verbally abusive, he was absent, right, So I got this in. You know, men were to me that that's what they were. They weren't around, they weren't to be trusted, and I would go seeking those relationships, right and anytime I found a safe man, I was like, hmm, you're boring. I don't trust any of this, right, so totally run away to the next thing. And and so what and is I didn't realize that men again were capable of this level of emotion, capable of the shame, and it helped me disarm myself towards them and see them as human and say, wait a second, they're just like us. They just can't show it. Why is no one talking about this and so being able to be let into their personal stories of grief. Maybe they had lost their wife two years ago, how to get back out there. They feel guilty, like they're cheating on her. Still, maybe their wife thinks they're cheating on them because their penis doesn't work right. Like, there's so many stories I kept collecting. Oh yeah, and I started seeing this pattern, and I was like, whoa. They are dealing with so much and they're just looking for permission to be able to talk about it. And I'm like, well, I have your broken dick in my hand. I think this is a good space, right. Like it was like I was their therapist and it was helping me learn and trust them right And ultimately, most importantly, my father died right before I started the job, so I got certain he passed away, and then I came back and had my first client, and you know, he had cancer. We knew it was, but losing somebody that you have such a complicated relationship can kind of mess with you, right because you feel the sense of almost relief, and I didn't know when to deal with that. I was like, oh my gosh, Okay, he can never hurt me again. I can never say anything again. But now it's never going to get better. So what does it mean? And so this job actually almost like saved me from just spouse about that because I had such I had. I was like focusing on helping other people, helping men, and they were teaching me so much about my dad that I did not understand. Wow, it was like I was seeing him in their behavior, and I was like, oh, maybe he had all this pain that he didn't know how to deal with. Maybe he was trying to hide in his ways of and it just it absolutely transformed, and I was able to make peace with him after he died and forgive him.
00:17:45
Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: Maybe I need to do this job because I have almost an identical story like yours, you know, like, yeah, I hear you, I feel you, and.
00:17:54
Speaker 2: That's really beautiful.
00:17:55
Speaker 1: That is probably yeah, because I can relate to put it that way.
00:18:00
Speaker 2: Are you married or single?
00:18:02
Speaker 3: I am? Now? I am?
00:18:03
Speaker 2: Now you're married?
00:18:05
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:18:05
Speaker 2: Congratulations recently?
00:18:07
Speaker 3: Yes?
00:18:08
Speaker 2: Was it one of your clients?
00:18:09
Speaker 1: Just kidding?
00:18:09
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:18:10
Speaker 1: Right?
00:18:10
Speaker 3: No, god right, no, couldn't be farther from that, but no, it's but man, listen, it transformed my relationships with men like I got out of a relationship I was in at the time, in the job, and it was, yeah, like it, I could never I can't. Well now from now on, I can't really look at men the same. I see. I have such a soft spot in my heart for them. I'm passionate what they're hiding. I see what they're avoiding, and I'm just like, Oh, we're going to get there. That's one of the reasons I felt this conviction to tell my story.
00:18:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, so let's talk about it then. So what was the process like writing the book?
00:18:43
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, Okay, So this job actually happened about eight years ago. So I was in COVID. I ended up writing a pilot because I'm a screenwriter first, and I saw this world on TV. That's how I storytell and so you know, COVID was happening, okay, and then we started taking it out. The strikes happened, and then the fires and all these things, and I was like, you know what, what if I just wrote a book and I told my whole story. And I got the idea a few years ago during the strikes, and I'd never written a book. I didn't know how to do that. I was like, is this just like read writing my diary and like putting it out in the world. How do I do this? And so I ended up pitching the publishing company Storyteller Publishing last year, and I said, listen, I have this incredible idea. It's one of those things that's never been able to leave me alone. And I always like, I always sort of use that as my my barometer. It's like, if I have a story that I cannot get out of my head, that's the one I have to tell. And this one is like very, very unique and it's a real story. So I'm like, no one else has the story. There's no way, right, So one story I have nobody else can tell. So yeah, So we talked about what that would look like and last year I started kind of outlining writing got notes. We did it, you know, over six months, back and forth, and the book was done and so here we are.
00:20:01
Speaker 2: You didn't have a gross writer. You did everything else, so I did.
00:20:03
Speaker 3: I had to do it myself.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: I had to wow, wow, wow.
00:20:07
Speaker 1: Okay, So I think like the next question I have would be like, what was the scariest part of writing that book?
00:20:15
Speaker 2: Like, because you're really you're.
00:20:17
Speaker 1: Also being very vulnerable, and also did you have to get permission from them?
00:20:20
Speaker 2: Like how does this work?
00:20:22
Speaker 3: No, I changed everybody's names and I didn't anything that would be identifying enough, right of course anybody. I was very conscientious of that. And yeah, the scariest part I would say is I always say like I was like Diane Keaton in that movie Something's Got to Give, Like.
00:20:38
Speaker 2: I love that movie, She's just like.
00:20:40
Speaker 3: Muscling her way through crying. It was. It was very healing for me, but it was also confronting to look at the ways, like the responsibility that I had in a lot of the situations that I maybe previously felt like a victim in or felt like I was wrong or whatever, and going like, let me take a step back, and yes, it's crazy to be the author and the main character, but let me hold myself responsible for some or accountable for things. And that was really helpful for me, but also very confronting and vulnerable. And then I think, truthfully, the hardest stuff was writing about my dad because I go back in childhood to you know, and that was that was it was. It was hard. It was hard, but beautiful.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: Did you intentionally wait for your dad to pass prior to writing a book.
00:21:28
Speaker 3: Well, he died right before I started the job, so I don't story until you know he was well well gone. But yeah, I mean definitely there's a safety in that, right, Like, I don't think that the job would landed the same way I wouldn't have had the healing journey was it?
00:21:44
Speaker 1: Did you find the healing journey more through writing or through being through working?
00:21:49
Speaker 3: I think writing, I think reflecting it, right. I think while I was in it, I was so focused on what was happening to the men in front of me. I didn't realize what was happening to me yet. I needed some space from it to go, oh my god, this completely changed me and I didn't even realize that was happening.
00:22:03
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, were you in therapy during this time or no?
00:22:07
Speaker 1: Well?
00:22:07
Speaker 2: Wow wow okay, okay, yeah yeah, wow. That's that's amazing.
00:22:13
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think, what do you want people to take away once they read your memoir?
00:22:19
Speaker 3: I mean, that's such a good question. I feel this. I feel this responsibility to share what I learned about men in order to help shed light not It's not a book that mocks them. It's not like we're women and we're so we apologize. It's like it's like, hey, you're human too, we see I see that. I hope other women can see that, and I hope we can bridge this gap between toxic masculinity and toxic feminity because underneath it all, we're all just like hurting. We're all just confused. We can find peace in the messy middle if we could just all like let our guards down and come together. It's a very big ask and a big swing, but that's my like, you know, that would be a hope that it it sheds light in this new way into male vulnerability that we maybe haven't seen before.
00:23:05
Speaker 1: I think honestly too, if you know, like I said, I can relate to your story, I think it would maybe for me at least have compassion towards you know, just their different way of showing vulnerability, right. Like you know, I used to be a performer and I used to dance, and I would like whenever I get nervous or get a stage fright, it's like, you know, my coach would always say, we all got assholes, like literally every single person sitting here, like there's no don't put anyone on a pedestal, like we are all one in that sense.
00:23:32
Speaker 3: That's it.
00:23:33
Speaker 1: So yeah, do you have any final thoughts before we wrap up?
00:23:36
Speaker 2: This is? This is great.
00:23:37
Speaker 3: No, I'm just listen. I'm excited to be able to have this platform and just be with you guys and chat about it because there there is something and it's it's a bit of a humor and heartbreak. So there's something for everybody on my story and I hope, I hope they enjoy it.
00:23:51
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing your story and where can people find it?
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Anywhere? Books are sold independent bookstores, Amazon, Marts and Noble. Yeah, all the spots.
00:23:59
Speaker 2: So, and you're social media handled? Are you on all platforms?
00:24:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, Christina's have been dead and it is Christina with a K.
00:24:06
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. That was so fun. Thank you with you, Thank you honey, Thanks bye, hey bye.
00:24:11
Speaker 1: Are you getting back into the dating scene or struggling with vulnerability? Well we can help send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes, and don't forget to follow us on socials, I do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Speaker 1: Hey, guys, welcome back to I Do Part two. It is your celebrity mentor Cheryl Burke, and today I have a wild story to unpack with my guests. Somehow, I don't know how, but she went from acting to working with men who have a rectile dysfunction two writing a memoir, A lot to unpack, to say the least, her memoir You Don't Know Dick, is out June thirtieth.
00:00:37
Speaker 2: Please welcome Christina Den to the pod.
00:00:40
Speaker 1: Okay, so we obviously have a lot to talk about. I mean talk about like a hook, right when it comes to your book, it's a hook in itself.
00:00:50
Speaker 2: So you were an actress first.
00:00:52
Speaker 1: Right, and now you have written a book and you've gotten into screenwriting as well. But you basically started working with men who had a rectile dysfunction.
00:01:03
Speaker 2: How did that happen? And how did you just fall into place? There?
00:01:07
Speaker 3: Not naturally not a natural segue, right, It's like, how would you go from this to this? So, as many people probably know actors, you know, we have to have a lot of day jobs, right to get by between gigs. And my friends were opening a wellness center in la and asked me if I would help them be the office manager, and I said absolutely, and we were doing ivy nutrition, cryotherapy, you know, all the things that La wellness centers offer. But the problem is is that there's so many of them here. They're so competitive. It's like there's one in every strip mall, and so they're like, how are we going to make money and survive? So the owner, the mail owner of this couple, here's this Joe Rogan podcast talking about this service for reptil a dysfunction and it's non invasive and so you know, you don't necessarily have to be a licensed medical professional to do it, and it was his solution to saving the clinic. And so he approached me as I'm like holding towels for the cryod therapy machine day, and I was like, I'm sorry, Like my comedian brain was like did you just say that? Like we're going to be dick fixers? Like I don't know how to process this right, Like it was so at the time so hilarious to me to either the idea that this existed. And so next thing I know, it's like I'm on a plane to Tucson, Arizona to get certified. And the only reason I said yes, is because fascination. I needed more money. They were going to pay me more, and you know, I was like I can handle something like this. I'm mature enough, right, And so you know, little did I know there's an entire industry out there that is, you know, doctors are paying their mortgages for solutions for retail dysfunction. And so this was innovative, groundbreaking way to go without having to do pills and injections and all these other things guys have been doing for years.
00:02:48
Speaker 2: Right, what did that entail? Like this sort of certification of Yes, it was like this day.
00:02:55
Speaker 3: Long seminar Intoucson where we're staring at cross actions of male anatomy blown up on this projector. And of course I'm like giggling and I'm looking around. I'm like, oh, they take it very seriously. I'm the only like immature person here that's not a medical professional, right, And I you know, I studied theology in college, so it wasn't completely foreign to me, but it was still just like this is wild. And then we had to practice on two different volunteers. So we had to use this device that looks like a gun. It's like a space ship, like a futuristic looking gun and put it onto the men's you know part, and it was like all around, all around, underneath, everywhere. So this wasn't just you know, the member, it was it was so foreign to me, Like I just kept feeling like I was watching myself have this out of body experience. And so after that we were technically certified and came back to LA and two weeks later I had my first client.
00:03:52
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
00:03:54
Speaker 1: Okay, so what do you think, I guess is the most shocking thing that you can think of that women would find surprising about men and their penises?
00:04:02
Speaker 3: You know, I think listen, I was. I was one of these women that went into this again thinking this was a joke. It was like, of course, old dudes just want to like keep their penises hard forever, like this is I was in the school of thought of like ewgross, like of course they're pervs, right, like this is where meat for sure. The fact that I was then like a few months in after I kind of got over the silliness of it, I started fosnessing something that I didn't even know men were capable of, which was deep, deep levels of shame. Oh, like so much shame when it comes to this part of their body not working. And that could be because it's how they define their manhood, right, it's this of what makes them a man. And if they're not able to perform, well then what are they?
00:04:45
Speaker 1: Right?
00:04:46
Speaker 3: And so, my gosh, this was this most insane kind of almost like spiritual classroom into the male vulnerability like crisis of I have all these feelings, I have nowhere for them to go because society doesn't let me express them safe, safely and welcomely. Right, I was so my brain was so scrambled and transformed after that. So I think, like women, I can't imagine I'm much different than most women where when you have I had a front row seat to male shame and I didn't have that possible, I think. So there's so much in my book that I'm trying to sort of cover about this, to to sort of open the conversation, to to shed light on this very normal yet super you know, taboo topic that of sexual dysfunction.
00:05:34
Speaker 1: Right, yeah, so yeah, for real, for real, Well, why do you think men in general connect their manhood to their penises, because we don't do that with our vaginas.
00:05:46
Speaker 3: No, we don't we definitely don't. I think, oh my gosh, I feel like it's like so much of it is. It could be a combination of physiological drive, societal expectations. They think women have on them.
00:05:58
Speaker 2: They think, yeah, that they're cold.
00:06:01
Speaker 3: This is what makes you a man, right, right, Like the better more money, right, Like it's like they define they have these like checkboxes of what make them a man, and this is such a huge part of that. And when it's broken, it's like it it doesn't matter how much money you have, right, I saw listen, I saw men from the ages of eighteen to eighty. I saw eighteen motorcycle accident. Right, there's all these things we don't realize, like, oh, it can break, Like I.
00:06:30
Speaker 2: Didn't know, Oh it can break.
00:06:32
Speaker 3: I didn't know it could break. It can break for physical injury, sex accidents. There's so many things that cause like scar tissue build up and then it goes crooked. Like there's so many different things that deform and make the thing not function properly.
00:06:47
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a muscle, right, Like, I guess it's the same thing, and they call it.
00:06:50
Speaker 3: I guess they call it an organ, but it feels down more like it. Yeah, there's muscles that are around the area that help. But it's yeah, so I was just the insight. I was like, man, they I have this line in the book where I'm like, man, do men go to more extreme links to save their dicks than we do to save our faces? Like you know what I mean? Because I'm like, maybe, like maybe it's.
00:07:11
Speaker 2: There skincare for their.
00:07:14
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's like so there's botox. Now there's like all kinds of testicles like I've heard. We didn't do that, but I heard all these things. We actually also offered pea shots, which is PRP and we know what Vieyes, right, So spinning your blood, getting the platelets, all the beautiful plasma that helps heal, and you stick it in.
00:07:37
Speaker 2: There, it means your penis age backwards.
00:07:39
Speaker 3: It's like let's reverse. Yeah, let's keep it, keep it nice and does it work caculation? It does. Now, granted I'm not again, I'm not a medical professional. If you are somebody who has you know, diabetes, high cholesterol, things that are already compromising calculation, it's going to be a more difficult road. But yes, it was. It wasn't like a permanent thing, but it was something that you. It's like a preventative thing. It can help, like.
00:08:04
Speaker 2: For us, like for PRP when we do PUP.
00:08:06
Speaker 1: That's why you do it. You want to do it the not the younger younger, but like you know, you want to do it as a preventative thing, not.
00:08:13
Speaker 2: Just not going to work.
00:08:14
Speaker 3: Delay the night, right, yeah, not take it away, but delay the indevitable.
00:08:29
Speaker 1: So when these men walk into the room and they see you're beautiful, you know obviously. And I remember my stepdad saying this to me recently. I think he got he had to.
00:08:38
Speaker 2: Get checked right, it was like a physical or whatever, and he was like.
00:08:42
Speaker 1: This woman was just so beautiful, this nurse and like she had to like feel my balls basically, and like how do they do at first? Do they become defensive or are they just right away vulnerable?
00:08:53
Speaker 3: All of it? Honestly, I saw it all. I definitely there were men that blatantly looked at me and said, no, you're not treating me, like before their pants are off, obviously they were.
00:09:03
Speaker 2: Like I get it, I get it.
00:09:05
Speaker 3: And but owners are like, look like this is La. She's our old like she's our technician. And so after they kind of got over themselves you know, I definitely got the peacock and you're like, oh, what is your boyfriend think of?
00:09:15
Speaker 2: There?
00:09:16
Speaker 3: Was your husband like just trying.
00:09:17
Speaker 2: To Are they trying to hit on you when you're trying to do this?
00:09:19
Speaker 3: On this I honestly had only one guy out of I think almost four hundred guys. I treated one guy be weird with me and like kind of pervert, No, tell me what a good job I was doing. And I was like he was not welcome back. But honestly, they're they're in such a vulnerable position, right, and they're coming in like, Hi, my manhoods that compromise and it can you help me? They don't have it in them to like then also hit on Like there's no way that was happening, right, Thank God for me.
00:09:46
Speaker 1: But yeah, so why do you do you think that like a lot of these men, you know, there's this whole, like you said earlier, with the size of their penis and all of that.
00:09:56
Speaker 2: Why is that? So? Why does that define a man and a man's hood? I guess so much.
00:10:02
Speaker 1: Because like I honestly don't think every woman cares about the size, Like I really don't know.
00:10:07
Speaker 3: No, And you know, it's something that's interesting that I've been like, you know, I resource this a while back. But like women, we all have different sizes too. Inside you you are different shapes, different sizes, different.
00:10:17
Speaker 2: As Absolutely you can only fit in so much, if you know what I mean.
00:10:20
Speaker 3: Yeah, there's not like a universal vagina that men are all trying to like live up too, you know. So there's not a universal dick side color anything, right, And I I did not have a clue how much variety there was until of course I was witnessing it. But it was just yeah, it makes me really sad that there's still that same thing out there in society that's like all bigger, but you know, and it's like, man, can we just like drop that already? Like it's actually I wanted other women.
00:10:46
Speaker 2: I don't think the bigger the better, no doubt that.
00:10:49
Speaker 3: No, I think sometimes too big is not great at all.
00:10:52
Speaker 2: Well, now you want this to be an enjoyable experience.
00:10:55
Speaker 3: Racing for impact the whole time? Yes, yeah, like not doing like a prayer, like God, it's not meant for me, like this is not We're not made for each other. Sorry, this is not gonna work.
00:11:07
Speaker 1: Yeah, no, God, Yeah, that's just so what do you like when you win. They pulled their pants down and they show you their penis, like is it there?
00:11:16
Speaker 2: You see right away there's a sense of shame.
00:11:19
Speaker 3: So so here let me show you. Like, okay, so picture a treatment table right, like a doctor's office with the medical like the gross paper.
00:11:27
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, of course it's horrible.
00:11:29
Speaker 3: And I let them undress obviously without me in the room. Right, I was like, get ready, put this little medical drape over. You have some like dignity for yourself. So they're staring up at the sky at these horrible you know, the fluorescent lighting of a medical office. I try to lower the lights. I try to make it all spot lighting horrible. Yeah, I try to like make it. I put like Serenes Bob music on and like had like diffusers, it's nice. I was trying to make them feel safe and comfortable because I knew this is horrible. And so then it's like, you know, the big reveal of Okay, now I have to pull down the drape. And so if they're just like literally like steering up the sky like like most of them were just immediately like embarrassed, quiet, internal, uh defensive, you know, because now it's like and also I'm seeing it placid. I'm not seeing what the potential is right right, you know, And and so there, and of course there were guys some of them did get hard right away, which was that I was like, that happened, and I was like, hey, we did it, you know.
00:12:28
Speaker 2: No, You're like, hey, go get go sort yourself out. Coming.
00:12:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get a refund. Yeah. But they were numb also, like you know how like I get like I've had like yes on my face for injections, right, so you mean like actually numb. They we would put numbing cream on they, like, we would have them apply it an hour before the treatment. Nowadays they might be a little different, but that would help desensitize the impact of this machine because it was very aggressive. Yeah, sounds like a jackhammer, okay, doing construction.
00:12:59
Speaker 1: Like how many sessions do they go through? I'm sure it's personal.
00:13:03
Speaker 3: That's like the protocol calls for six over six weeks, So either they would do three weeks and then we'd like give them two months off to kind of have everything start working in the body, and then three more sessions later they'd come back.
00:13:14
Speaker 2: So it was does it work? Yeah, every time?
00:13:18
Speaker 3: Most of the guys, I saw saw improvement. Absolutely. Now, it's not making it bigger. Let's be clear about that, because a lot of how I'm gonna come and there were guys coming to me like I don't have interactile dysfunction problem, but I just want to see if it can get bigger. Oh come on, Well it's like think about like when you do a bicep, curl your muscle like e gorges with more blood. That's all that's happening with something. Right. It's not gonna make it bigger, but it will make it feel and look fuller. So there was that bit of confidence.
00:13:45
Speaker 2: That was interesting.
00:13:46
Speaker 3: Yeah okay or blood flow right.
00:13:48
Speaker 1: So yeah, so basically this is the equivalent of us going to get botox.
00:13:53
Speaker 3: It's a lot in the same way. Yeah, like we're trying to do laser we're trying to like anything plump and you make this they want.
00:14:00
Speaker 1: Like we go like what every few months? Like same things for them, right, Yeah.
00:14:04
Speaker 3: So what they would say back then, I was when I was trained, it was like eighteen It would last like eighteen months before they'd have to feel like, oh maybe I need to do it again. But I would send them with homework us homework penis pump.
00:14:16
Speaker 2: Oh does that work?
00:14:17
Speaker 3: Yes? So we like what part of protocol was is that they had to use this during their treatment for me. With me for six weeks they used it twice a day for ten minutes each.
00:14:26
Speaker 2: It's a day.
00:14:27
Speaker 3: And now I'm like all of my friends everyone in my life. I'm like, if you're over forty, you need a penis pump and you should be using it twice a week. It's like cardio for your dick. That's how you have to think of it, because yeah, I guess, so that's flow and kind of clearing the debris, right, because the blood vessels and the penis are so much smaller than anywhere else, and they're farther away from the heart, so they claw with clack first, and it's like a warning sign for guys. If that starts happening. Usually with three to five years, you're looking at heart problems. So it's like I would say, like it's your check engine light, right, It's.
00:14:57
Speaker 2: Like, yeah, you get gotta get it circulation.
00:15:01
Speaker 3: Through penis boot Camp. I called this penis boot camp because I used to be a personal trainer. I don't know. I was like, look, we're going to clean up our lifestyle. We're gonna start eating healthy, we're gonna start working now, we're going to use this pump like and we're gonna get our penis back. You know.
00:15:12
Speaker 1: Oh my, it was fascinating. Let's transition a little bit. What did you learn about yourself working there?
00:15:30
Speaker 3: Okay, So the biggest transformation that happened for me was finding safety with men like I had. I was given this blueprint for men by my father that was he was an alcoholic, he was verbally abusive, he was absent, right, So I got this in. You know, men were to me that that's what they were. They weren't around, they weren't to be trusted, and I would go seeking those relationships, right and anytime I found a safe man, I was like, hmm, you're boring. I don't trust any of this, right, so totally run away to the next thing. And and so what and is I didn't realize that men again were capable of this level of emotion, capable of the shame, and it helped me disarm myself towards them and see them as human and say, wait a second, they're just like us. They just can't show it. Why is no one talking about this and so being able to be let into their personal stories of grief. Maybe they had lost their wife two years ago, how to get back out there. They feel guilty, like they're cheating on her. Still, maybe their wife thinks they're cheating on them because their penis doesn't work right. Like, there's so many stories I kept collecting. Oh yeah, and I started seeing this pattern, and I was like, whoa. They are dealing with so much and they're just looking for permission to be able to talk about it. And I'm like, well, I have your broken dick in my hand. I think this is a good space, right. Like it was like I was their therapist and it was helping me learn and trust them right And ultimately, most importantly, my father died right before I started the job, so I got certain he passed away, and then I came back and had my first client, and you know, he had cancer. We knew it was, but losing somebody that you have such a complicated relationship can kind of mess with you, right because you feel the sense of almost relief, and I didn't know when to deal with that. I was like, oh my gosh, Okay, he can never hurt me again. I can never say anything again. But now it's never going to get better. So what does it mean? And so this job actually almost like saved me from just spouse about that because I had such I had. I was like focusing on helping other people, helping men, and they were teaching me so much about my dad that I did not understand. Wow, it was like I was seeing him in their behavior, and I was like, oh, maybe he had all this pain that he didn't know how to deal with. Maybe he was trying to hide in his ways of and it just it absolutely transformed, and I was able to make peace with him after he died and forgive him.
00:17:45
Speaker 2: Oh that's beautiful.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: Maybe I need to do this job because I have almost an identical story like yours, you know, like, yeah, I hear you, I feel you, and.
00:17:54
Speaker 2: That's really beautiful.
00:17:55
Speaker 1: That is probably yeah, because I can relate to put it that way.
00:18:00
Speaker 2: Are you married or single?
00:18:02
Speaker 3: I am? Now? I am?
00:18:03
Speaker 2: Now you're married?
00:18:05
Speaker 3: Yeah?
00:18:05
Speaker 2: Congratulations recently?
00:18:07
Speaker 3: Yes?
00:18:08
Speaker 2: Was it one of your clients?
00:18:09
Speaker 1: Just kidding?
00:18:09
Speaker 2: Yeah?
00:18:10
Speaker 1: Right?
00:18:10
Speaker 3: No, god right, no, couldn't be farther from that, but no, it's but man, listen, it transformed my relationships with men like I got out of a relationship I was in at the time, in the job, and it was, yeah, like it, I could never I can't. Well now from now on, I can't really look at men the same. I see. I have such a soft spot in my heart for them. I'm passionate what they're hiding. I see what they're avoiding, and I'm just like, Oh, we're going to get there. That's one of the reasons I felt this conviction to tell my story.
00:18:38
Speaker 2: Yeah, so let's talk about it then. So what was the process like writing the book?
00:18:43
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, Okay, So this job actually happened about eight years ago. So I was in COVID. I ended up writing a pilot because I'm a screenwriter first, and I saw this world on TV. That's how I storytell and so you know, COVID was happening, okay, and then we started taking it out. The strikes happened, and then the fires and all these things, and I was like, you know what, what if I just wrote a book and I told my whole story. And I got the idea a few years ago during the strikes, and I'd never written a book. I didn't know how to do that. I was like, is this just like read writing my diary and like putting it out in the world. How do I do this? And so I ended up pitching the publishing company Storyteller Publishing last year, and I said, listen, I have this incredible idea. It's one of those things that's never been able to leave me alone. And I always like, I always sort of use that as my my barometer. It's like, if I have a story that I cannot get out of my head, that's the one I have to tell. And this one is like very, very unique and it's a real story. So I'm like, no one else has the story. There's no way, right, So one story I have nobody else can tell. So yeah, So we talked about what that would look like and last year I started kind of outlining writing got notes. We did it, you know, over six months, back and forth, and the book was done and so here we are.
00:20:01
Speaker 2: You didn't have a gross writer. You did everything else, so I did.
00:20:03
Speaker 3: I had to do it myself.
00:20:04
Speaker 2: I had to wow, wow, wow.
00:20:07
Speaker 1: Okay, So I think like the next question I have would be like, what was the scariest part of writing that book?
00:20:15
Speaker 2: Like, because you're really you're.
00:20:17
Speaker 1: Also being very vulnerable, and also did you have to get permission from them?
00:20:20
Speaker 2: Like how does this work?
00:20:22
Speaker 3: No, I changed everybody's names and I didn't anything that would be identifying enough, right of course anybody. I was very conscientious of that. And yeah, the scariest part I would say is I always say like I was like Diane Keaton in that movie Something's Got to Give, Like.
00:20:38
Speaker 2: I love that movie, She's just like.
00:20:40
Speaker 3: Muscling her way through crying. It was. It was very healing for me, but it was also confronting to look at the ways, like the responsibility that I had in a lot of the situations that I maybe previously felt like a victim in or felt like I was wrong or whatever, and going like, let me take a step back, and yes, it's crazy to be the author and the main character, but let me hold myself responsible for some or accountable for things. And that was really helpful for me, but also very confronting and vulnerable. And then I think, truthfully, the hardest stuff was writing about my dad because I go back in childhood to you know, and that was that was it was. It was hard. It was hard, but beautiful.
00:21:23
Speaker 1: Did you intentionally wait for your dad to pass prior to writing a book.
00:21:28
Speaker 3: Well, he died right before I started the job, so I don't story until you know he was well well gone. But yeah, I mean definitely there's a safety in that, right, Like, I don't think that the job would landed the same way I wouldn't have had the healing journey was it?
00:21:44
Speaker 1: Did you find the healing journey more through writing or through being through working?
00:21:49
Speaker 3: I think writing, I think reflecting it, right. I think while I was in it, I was so focused on what was happening to the men in front of me. I didn't realize what was happening to me yet. I needed some space from it to go, oh my god, this completely changed me and I didn't even realize that was happening.
00:22:03
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, were you in therapy during this time or no?
00:22:07
Speaker 1: Well?
00:22:07
Speaker 2: Wow wow okay, okay, yeah yeah, wow. That's that's amazing.
00:22:13
Speaker 1: I mean, what do you think, what do you want people to take away once they read your memoir?
00:22:19
Speaker 3: I mean, that's such a good question. I feel this. I feel this responsibility to share what I learned about men in order to help shed light not It's not a book that mocks them. It's not like we're women and we're so we apologize. It's like it's like, hey, you're human too, we see I see that. I hope other women can see that, and I hope we can bridge this gap between toxic masculinity and toxic feminity because underneath it all, we're all just like hurting. We're all just confused. We can find peace in the messy middle if we could just all like let our guards down and come together. It's a very big ask and a big swing, but that's my like, you know, that would be a hope that it it sheds light in this new way into male vulnerability that we maybe haven't seen before.
00:23:05
Speaker 1: I think honestly too, if you know, like I said, I can relate to your story, I think it would maybe for me at least have compassion towards you know, just their different way of showing vulnerability, right. Like you know, I used to be a performer and I used to dance, and I would like whenever I get nervous or get a stage fright, it's like, you know, my coach would always say, we all got assholes, like literally every single person sitting here, like there's no don't put anyone on a pedestal, like we are all one in that sense.
00:23:32
Speaker 3: That's it.
00:23:33
Speaker 1: So yeah, do you have any final thoughts before we wrap up?
00:23:36
Speaker 2: This is? This is great.
00:23:37
Speaker 3: No, I'm just listen. I'm excited to be able to have this platform and just be with you guys and chat about it because there there is something and it's it's a bit of a humor and heartbreak. So there's something for everybody on my story and I hope, I hope they enjoy it.
00:23:51
Speaker 2: Thank you for sharing your story and where can people find it?
00:23:54
Speaker 3: Anywhere? Books are sold independent bookstores, Amazon, Marts and Noble. Yeah, all the spots.
00:23:59
Speaker 2: So, and you're social media handled? Are you on all platforms?
00:24:02
Speaker 3: Yeah, Christina's have been dead and it is Christina with a K.
00:24:06
Speaker 2: Thank you so much. That was so fun. Thank you with you, Thank you honey, Thanks bye, hey bye.
00:24:11
Speaker 1: Are you getting back into the dating scene or struggling with vulnerability? Well we can help send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes, and don't forget to follow us on socials, I do Part two and iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.