He told Carrie Bradshaw to clean out her closet and get rid of her shoes! UH OH!... (S4 E13 "The Good Fight")

00:00:01
Speaker 1: Hi, I'm Kristin Davis, and I want to know are you a Charlotte? Okay, you guys, very very exciting. Today we have an expert. It's always fun to have an expert on. Her name is doctor Jamie Bronstein. She is a You can tell me how you like to be described a relationship therapist? Is that good?

00:00:23
Speaker 2: Yes?

00:00:23
Speaker 1: And coach and coach. So you coach people about dating about relationships. I saw a lovely list about how to be vulnerable, which I think you're just so perfect to be looking at this episode with us today, everybody, we are rewatching The Good Fight. Super interesting episode. It is episode four thirteen and aired in two thousand and two. Okay, you're here and I'm so excited. So you talk to people. I just want to get a good understanding of what you do before we talk about the episode. How it seems you've been doing this a long time, which is also really interesting.

00:01:00
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I've been a license dating and relationship therapist and coach for over twenty years.

00:01:04
Speaker 1: Wow.

00:01:04
Speaker 3: My brand is the Relationship Expert, and my clients are around the world. They're singles, couples, breakups, and divorcees. I'm also the author of man aifesting How to manifest a man? I'm a speaker and podcast host and yeah so I do.

00:01:20
Speaker 2: I do a lot a little busy.

00:01:21
Speaker 1: Wow, so impressive. I can't believe you've been doing this for twenty years. You must have seen a lot.

00:01:28
Speaker 2: I love my job so much.

00:01:30
Speaker 3: It brings me so much joy to literally I help people change their lives could be better.

00:01:36
Speaker 1: That's so nice. How do people find you from around the world? Like, how does that work?

00:01:42
Speaker 2: You know what?

00:01:43
Speaker 3: When people find me from Australia or Switzerland or France, which I currently have clients from those places, I just am grateful. I mean, logistically, I think it's through my Instagram and my website. Probably there's definitely word of mouth, but probably nobody in the United States was telling their friend.

00:02:03
Speaker 2: Maybe if they told their friend in Switzerland.

00:02:04
Speaker 1: I don't know, right, I mean, I do feel like people are very global now in their friendships and relationships and whatever, so people can like zoom with you. I'm going to assume.

00:02:15
Speaker 3: Yeah, so my clients are, like I said, around the world's it gets very interesting when we try to figure out the timing, Like my clients in Australia, I'm like, how is it tomorrow, tomorrow?

00:02:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Yeah, that's a big jump, that's a big jump.

00:02:28
Speaker 2: Yeah.

00:02:28
Speaker 3: But the cool thing is that what I see is that these relationship things, there's such commonalities and it doesn't matter where you are in the world, going on everywhere.

00:02:40
Speaker 1: For sure, for sure. I mean I one of the things about our show, we kind of broke lots of rules and also broke lots of expectations. In one of those expectations was that comedy doesn't travel well, and that female driven things somehow, weirdly are assumed that they don't travel well, which you know, I don't really think that's true, but with us, it definitely definitely wasn't true. Which was part of the reason for our success was that we had you know, success around the world, which you know, then we got to travel the world, and when we did the movies, they had global success. And everybody's like shocked, you know, oh my god, But you know, I think that is because all people everywhere are going through these things.

00:03:22
Speaker 3: Yes, and I I mean I watched the show when it was on originally, it could not get enough.

00:03:28
Speaker 2: I watched every episode. I was telling you, my friend group, we all had names, but anyhow, but I mean since.

00:03:35
Speaker 3: I was born, I've been romantic and I just love That's why I do what I do. But the show is just I mean, watching this episode again was fun and it's so well done and it's it evokes emotions.

00:03:49
Speaker 2: It's so great.

00:03:50
Speaker 1: I'm so glad. So when you say you're a romantic, would you consider yourself a Charlotte?

00:03:56
Speaker 2: You know what I always said, I'm between Charlotte and Carrie.

00:04:00
Speaker 1: That's me too, that's me too, all you are. Yeah, yeah, definitely, definitely, definitely.

00:04:05
Speaker 2: I think it's the best. I mean, they're the best.

00:04:07
Speaker 1: I don't know, you know, it's really relative. I mean there's been so many phases, which I think is also very fascinating. You know, there are people who wrote a book we should all be Miranda, and it's a really funny book and it's about how, you know, she's so smart and she cuts you know, she cuts through things like she's very she tells it like it is, and she's very perceptive and smart about things. And that's totally true. And then I think that the power of Samantha, you know, cannot be understated, Like she's so free and so unapologetic and has such power because she is those things. You know, she is like, I want what I want and I'm going to get it, and I don't make apologies, and I'm very open about what I want.

00:04:52
Speaker 2: You know.

00:04:52
Speaker 1: It's not like she's manipulating anyone. She's just like, this is what I want. Do you want that? Okay, you don't want that, I want this. You know. She's just so free in that, and I think we could all take something from that. So I think I think they're all great in their own in their own ways. You know.

00:05:07
Speaker 3: Actually, when I was watching the episode, I know we're going to get to it, but when I was watching the episode.

00:05:10
Speaker 2: Last night, I was literally thinking how amazing it was to watch her. She literally said to the guy that she's dating, she said, or I'm about to date. She said that this is only.

00:05:22
Speaker 3: Sex, right, and so it was like the roles were a little reversed. She was so empowered, and I liked that because looking back in my whole life, I mean, I'm a very emotional person.

00:05:32
Speaker 2: I'm a pisces.

00:05:34
Speaker 3: Mean, so we only have on the podcast, when's your actual birth It's so funny.

00:05:41
Speaker 1: My actual birthdays February twenty third, one's.

00:05:43
Speaker 2: Years Okay, and mar j is cool's the other prices.

00:05:46
Speaker 1: Oh oh, we've had like six of them on and the like the last six guests, like like we even when we don't know it, it's really funny. Anyway, welcome. We're very emotional people, Yes, we certainly are. Yes, yes, indeed, but go ahead. So you're very emotional and yeah, So.

00:06:02
Speaker 3: I was saying that, like, it was so cool to watch it. First all, I haven't watched the episode in probably twenty years, but it was so cool to watch it and looking back at younger Jamie who I mean, I've always been emotional, but I was especially just everything was so dramatic and every guy and like just a lot of tears and a lot of such happy times also obviously, but I was looking at actually at Samantha, and I was thinking, Wow, what if I would have lived my life like that? It would have been really interesting. And the interesting thing is that guys actually like not everything. They don't like sloody girls what some guys do, but they do like I think she's she's mysterious. She's a little bit of a game player because she's not like, oh my god, I'm obsessed with you.

00:06:47
Speaker 1: And guys like that that's true. I don't think she's a game player, though I think she's so direct that that she's not a game player.

00:06:54
Speaker 3: Do what I'm saying, right, they might think it's not that she's playing the game, but some guys might if they don't really know her, they might think she's putting on some act or whatever.

00:07:02
Speaker 2: And so whatever it is making the man want her more.

00:07:06
Speaker 1: For sure, for sure. And I mean the other thing I think, you know, which I one of the things that I love about our show. And then I think people have also gone through phases about this, and sometimes we would write it in Sometimes people would criticize us because they said that all we did was, you know, talk about men and try to get men or whatever. And that's really true for Charlotte in terms of like Charlotte wanted, you know, a great love, and she wanted to have babies and you know, do all the things. And eventually she did, as we know, but it took some time and some effort and some changes and some growth, which was great. But I think that one of the things that I really like about Samantha is that as I've rewatched it as well, I mean I knew at the time that she was a really really different character and that there were not any other characters in film or TV really that were like her, you know, and people were so like, oh my god, you know when we first started, like shocked. But I and it's funny because even still I do feel like in some ways, powerful women are celebrated in a way today that wasn't necessarily true in nineteen ninety eight when we started, right, it was more like shocking, like what, But now it's more prevalent, I think because of social media and people are you know, like you know, celebrating like power and feeling good and you know, everyone takes their pictures of their outfit and you know, they glow up and all the things. It's is, you know what I mean, which I love. But I also feel like when I look at her back back, you know, in a retrospect, it is amazing how direct she is, like unrelentingly direct. And I think that sometimes they said that we centered men, but I don't really feel I feel like, yes, these women and many women obviously are trying to figure relationships out and maybe they are into men. And therefore there's the confusion based on how were brought up and socialized, and you know, the differences is I'm sure you deal with a lot in your job, but I think that, you know, like not playing games actually does sometimes confuse people and that's kind of crazy, you know.

00:09:15
Speaker 2: Yes, and I totally agree with you.

00:09:18
Speaker 3: I was thinking the same thing watching this episode, that it is we are in such a different time now, because that obviously was groundbreaking and that was a little controversial back then, but now, yes, it's all about women's women's empowerment, and yes, men and women are so so different. As women, we are very very complex and men are so much simpler. So she was kind of in her masculine a little bit, being so direct, so not emotional, and so it was cool to see how, yeah, man like they're not used to that, they don't know how to navigate that. Now the men are a lot more use to someone like that. But yeah, one of the things I love talking about is how men and women are so different and when we so I just I'm launching a digital course this summer. It's called Single. It's a Soulmate, and it's for women who are looking to man a fast And I actually interviewed men and I call them manterviews and it's giving women the insight into understanding man more that they have feelings, also that they.

00:10:30
Speaker 1: I believe they do. Go ahead, go ahead, none.

00:10:33
Speaker 3: But it's great because I feel like there's so much in the media and so much in the world about man. You need to understand women more, but we need to understand man and more.

00:10:42
Speaker 1: Also well for sure, because now the whole manisphere, like, what the heck's going on? Man, it's a lot out there, It's a lot. I think anytime we can understand each other more, it's a great thing. And I don't like it when people and I do feel like people misunderstood the show in this way and thought that we were trying to kind of separate, you know, the women from the men. You have the whole talk of like do women talk like this? Blah blah blah blah blah, And I do think women talk like this. Women can talk anyway women want to talk, right. There's hadn't been a TV show where it was you know, open right. But I think that you know, we're all just human, you know what I'm saying, and different people want different things, and I think that's really important. I think that sometimes it seems like everybody wants one thing. But I don't think that's true. And I think that the younger people now are showing us, you know, that the things are different. They've been through a lot, the younger people, and they have dating apps. They've never known life without dating apps. It's really different, and I don't know quite how that's going to shake out. I have a fourteen year old daughter, so obviously we're not dealing with that right now. But sometimes I feel worried, like, like, do the young people know how to talk to each other? I don't know, what do you think?

00:11:56
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:11:56
Speaker 3: So, And this is why I love the work that I do, because I do my best to inspire and teach the world as many people as possible exactly how to communicate, how to love yourself unconditionally. You're talking about your young daughter, and this is why I wrote my book, this is why I'm doing my course all the work. And yes, I work with men also, but let's just talk about this for a second.

00:12:20
Speaker 2: We need to. I feel like a lot of the issues.

00:12:23
Speaker 3: That women have as they grow through the dating journey with men is that they feel insecure. They In my book, I have something called the chameleon. You change for the man. I personally took scuba lessons for a guy years ago. I found so much money just so I can spend time with him, and I did not like scuba. I'm never going to do it again. I thought I was going to die. So there are a lot of things that I like. It's my mission in life. One of my missions is to empower and teach these young women to love themselves on conditionally, show up as themselves no matter what, and to know that the right guy is going to love them for who they are.

00:13:02
Speaker 1: That's great, that's so good. I mean, in the end, I believe that I can't remember if it's the end of the show or the end of one of the movies where her voiceover, Carrie's voiceover says, you know, the longest, most important relationship that you will have is with yourself and loving yourself. And I do think that was the underneath of all of the years of show and comedy and love and trying to find love was your relationship with yourself and finding the way to show up as yourself and not sell out, you know, not like give up who you are or what you want. And you know, it's kind of interesting and We've talked a lot on the podcast about the Aiden. You know, we've got Big and then we've got Aiden, and they're really interesting and really different. But I had forgotten about this whole storyline, and I'm so curious to hear your thoughts about the storyline with Aiden and Carrie because they've moved in and Aiden has this plan now that he is buying the apartment extory, he wants to knock the wall down. Now, I'm pretty sure this doesn't ever happen, but obviously we know this now, but we didn't know what when we were watching. So he's moved all his boxes in. I'd forgotten all about this, and Carrie's never lived with anyone, which I'd also forgotten about but makes total sense, right, So they have this whole thing. I mean, there's so many ways that is manifesting in their relationship that they're going through one of those kind of learning curves with each other, and they're now in a different phase because they're living together. So many things happen. One is that she comes home and he's like, how you doing, where you've been? Who are you talking to? And she's like it is so cute, And eventually she tells him, possibly in the next episode, to please let her be silent for an hour after she gets home, which is so cute, and then she ends up missing him, which is also so sweet. You know he's in the next room, but you know, because you ask for what you need and you get it and then you're good, you know what I mean, It's like magic, right.

00:14:58
Speaker 2: I loved that. So she's so frustrated.

00:15:01
Speaker 3: The whole episode, they're fighting, and finally at the end she uses her beautiful voice and this is what I teach my clients. To use your voice and without the fear of the outcome, without the fear he's gonna leave, without the fear the relationship is going to end. So she walks in and she just her her friend somebody had said, just say what you need whatever, So anyhow, she gets all empowered.

00:15:24
Speaker 1: Miranda said, you can't even because she's telling making jokes to Miranda about you know, Miranda wants to have sex with that guy, un though she's pregnant with Steve's baby, and you know, they're kind of criticizing each other and Miranda goes, well, you can't even, you know, ask Aiden to stop talking to you when you get home, you know what I mean. It's a perfect showing of what friends can do for friends. Right.

00:15:48
Speaker 3: I loved that scene so much because this is why I loved it so much, because of his reaction. He was so sweet and calm, and you could tell that he just loves her no matter what.

00:16:05
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, that's good. That's good. That's good. I mean. This is the thing about the Aiden, which you know, it's also one of the things I've been really appreciating in the rewatch, is like you see all these tiny little moments over time that add up in a way. There has been with Aiden from the beginning of the relationship, this kind of subtle situation of her trying to change for him. Like remember he didn't want to date a smoker. I don't know if you remember this in the beginning, and so she said, oh, yeah, I'm quitting, and she just tries to quit really casually, and of course it's not really that easy. So then she's secretly smoking and she feels bad about herself, but she's trying to do this for him. There's a lot of these kind of areas where he's kind of trying to get her to change, Like, for instance, in this episode, he doesn't try to get her well, he does try to get her to stay home. He says, I don't want to go out on Saturday night, which you know, if you know Carrie, Carrie obviously wants to go out on Saturday night. She does have a whole column where she writes about, you know, dating and night life in New York City. Right where he's like, I want Kentucky Fried Chicken. You're just like, oh my god, so is I think all that is? So it rings so true to me. Like you can think someone is amazing and you can be in a great relationship with them, but you might not have every single one of the same things that you like or that you like to do right. So it's a hard balance to see, like like I would have. I mean, he does say at one point, I think it's the next episode. He says, oh, I'll go out. I'll go with you, even though it's so obviously not what he wants to do. But like, you want to see both people trying to change, right, You don't want just one side trying to change.

00:17:39
Speaker 3: So what I always tell my clients is there's a difference between compromise and sacrifice in a relationship. Compromise is so important. These are things like the smoking thing, first of all, that's going to benefit her. Of course, this isn't when it's something that is not part of your core who you are. Compromise you go to like my parents are obsessed with My dad's obsessed with the Cobs. I'm from Chicago and so my mom always said she goes to the Cobs games to support my dad, you know.

00:18:10
Speaker 2: Like you take them for the team whatever. So that's a compromise. It's when it's.

00:18:14
Speaker 3: A sacrifice, it's out of your integrity. This means it doesn't feel right. It doesn't feel like Scuba Scooba didn't feel right to me right any But like so there's a difference between when you shift and try to align more to make each other happy when it's more of a surface athing.

00:18:36
Speaker 2: Versus a core value.

00:18:38
Speaker 1: Mmmm, that's interesting. I like that.

00:18:41
Speaker 4: I like that.

00:18:49
Speaker 1: All right. So for the Good Fight, my Hyundai hot take is going to be the scene at the very end where Carrie finally asks Aiden to be quiet and for an hour, and then she sits behind this curtain and he sits on the other side of the curtain reading his book, being very quiet, and you can see her through the curtain, like leaning back, trying to relax, then like getting uncomfortable. It looks like but she's just through this curtain. It's a beautiful shot. And then she comes out and she pops her head through and she says, what are you doing out there? And I just thought it was so great because the writing is so good and Sarah's acting is so good, and the way Charles McDougall's shot through the curtain and you can just barely see her and then she comes back into the scene with him and they're connected again. I just loved how it was filmed and acted. So that's my Hondai hot take, celebrating iconic moments, bold moves and unforgettable style, just like Hyundai. So I feel like with Aiden. And one of the things that I think is so interesting is that John is such a great actor, So like in that scene at the end, which we're kind of jumping to the end, but it was such a really good scene. It's such a really different interesting scene, like from what you see on television. You know, she comes in, you can tell she's nervous to say this thing that you know she would like some quiet. When she comes home, she's scared to say it. She says it, she says it very very cleanly, and she says something like I've never lived with anyone, like she's very much like taking responsibility for herself, you know, and saying, but this is what I like. And he looks at her really sweetly, like really sweetly. I mean, you can tell it's not necessarily what he wants, right, but he's totally going to do it for her. And she shuts the little she's got like a little drape in between the bedroom and the living room which they put up, so she shuts it. And it's so beautifully directed. This is directed by Charles McDougall, one of our like amazing, amazing directors, and he films her through the through the curtain, and you see her just sitting there and she's like trying to relax, you know.

00:20:49
Speaker 3: What I mean.

00:20:50
Speaker 1: And then he's reading his book and she's sitting there, sitting there, and a little time passes and then she gets up. She opens the drape back up and she says, you know what you doing in here? And he goes like, I can't talk, you know, which is also so cute because he told her that he wasn't going to talk for a whole hour. It's adorable in so many ways, but I think a lot of that is also John just being such a great actor, you know what I'm saying, Like it surpasses. I mean, the writing's great, but like I don't, I don't. It's hard for me sometimes to separate the actors making it so great, and you wanting the actors to be together because the actors chemistry is so good. Do you know what I mean?

00:21:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't remember him being that good looking. He's so good looking, I know.

00:21:36
Speaker 1: Right, it's crazy.

00:21:37
Speaker 3: This is what I picked up from that. I thought it was really interesting. I felt like it was portraying a very confident, self assured, not cocky, self assured, confident man because in my own life, when I was twenty five years old living in New York, I had a boyfriend who this literally happened. He was just he wasn't happy in his job, so he just would This was before a lot of like things, but it was just there was I am like aol, I am whatever. Yes, yes, you would write to me back and forth every day. I was studying, I was in my master's borg and I was studying. I couldn't write back and forth.

00:22:14
Speaker 2: He was just kind of a little annoying, like a little too much.

00:22:16
Speaker 3: But I really liked him. He had wonderful, great qualities. So we went to the Jersey Shore one weekend with his family. The next week, on was fourth of July, he was going to fly back to Chicago with me, and I literally said to him, twenty five years old, I said to him on a Sunday, I said, can we not talk until like Wednesday or Thursday whenever we were.

00:22:34
Speaker 2: Going to Chicago.

00:22:35
Speaker 1: Oh, he ended a break.

00:22:37
Speaker 2: I can't really write to that.

00:22:39
Speaker 3: And he he was probably one of the most insecure amount I've ever met. Very good, lucky, but just insecure whatever. For whatever reason, he didn't like that. First he said yes, I think, and then he he said, no, that's not going to fly with him. So we ended up talking and then we went to Chicago. I was okay, but I don't know, there was something in me that I was like, I I'm going to either break up this guy because he's like it's too much. And that's what Carrie was going through. It was too much.

00:23:02
Speaker 2: It's kind of like COVID when you're twenty four to seven together. It's not healthy.

00:23:07
Speaker 1: So true, so true. Oh my gosh, yes, that's it's well put. It's well put. He's very but I do think he is he is confident. I mean you can see in this when they fight at the beginning, right, because she's got they've got all these boxes and she can't get in the door. And he does seem to be kind of home all the time, which is also kind of weird, right, And at one point and then he goes, well, we just got to clear some of this stuff out. You've got to clear your clothes and your shoes out. And she's just like, oh my god, Like it's so funny. And Sara Jessica is so funny in it, like she's so animated and hysterical, and she tells him many things like you know, don't you know, don't denigrate the clothes. I think at one point she says like and then he tells her to throw this and top out, which is a Cavali top, which she ends up wearing. I mean it's also interesting because also you feel like, does aid and really get Carrie that he saying throw the clothes out, like so casual like, like, throw the shoes out? Why why does anybody need so any shoes? You're like, are you paying attention to who carry is? But at the end it seems like there is there is growth. But it's interesting.

00:24:14
Speaker 2: I think it's just a man man in general.

00:24:17
Speaker 3: It's not that he doesn't love her or want to understand her, or respect her job and her lave of fashion and everything. I think it's just he truly once again man, or so simple. He didn't under He literally didn't understand in that moment.

00:24:29
Speaker 2: I don't know what it was.

00:24:31
Speaker 3: Also so interesting she said these shoes were three hundred and eighty dollars, and I was thinking, wow, those shoes would be like fifteen hundred dollars.

00:24:37
Speaker 1: I know, I know, because it was twenty five years ago or whatever, like a crazy amount of time ago. I know, I know, I think the same thing every time we say a price of anything, I'm like, what what? It's crazy how things have changed. I agree totally, But I mean at the time, it seemed like a lot.

00:24:54
Speaker 3: You know, there was a lot of judgment also in their fighting, a lot of like you and judgment. If you I always say, if you have judgment in a relationship. Uh huh, there's no room for connection. So judging meaning like he said, he was judging her stuff and she was judging. They were using a swear word, she was judging his stuff. Uh, the way that there was not hatred, but just like my stuff is more important, your stuff's not important.

00:25:20
Speaker 2: It was in the moment, but it wasn't. It didn't mean that they didn't love each other.

00:25:24
Speaker 3: It was this a little bit of a probably probably like a regression, like an immature thing that they're little, their little boy and little girl or coming up to the surface. But it was definitely judging. So I don't think it's that he doesn't love and respect what she does.

00:25:42
Speaker 2: I think it was just he just didn't get it.

00:25:44
Speaker 1: So when people are judging, because really people are judging all the time, don't you think. And I don't just mean in a relationship, I just mean in life. Right, Like you're thinking, like I like this, I don't like this, this is good, this is bad? Things like that, I mean, how do you deal with that? You know, in relationship in terms of knowing one is going over the edge, like too much judging.

00:26:06
Speaker 3: You know this is gonna sound and controversial or I can't wait.

00:26:11
Speaker 2: I teach people how not to judge.

00:26:16
Speaker 3: My couples that come to me to work with me, and they all end up being okay if they're meant to be, if they're both willing to make it work. They learn how to not judge, and it's it's a lot simpler. Part of it is being neutral, Okay, stay in a state of nerality. Part of it, this is going a little too deep. But a lot of times judgments are a projection. So if you say you are a you're you're untrustworthy, then I would say, okay, well what is going on inside of you that you feel like you can't trust yourself something like that. So everything is a production and or reflection in our lives. So this is going a little.

00:26:54
Speaker 1: There's fine, There is no too deep.

00:26:56
Speaker 3: But yeah, and like I said, you almost need to threaten yourself If I judge, I'm not going to.

00:27:03
Speaker 2: Be able to connect.

00:27:04
Speaker 3: Oh it's bringing more compassion and trying to understand each other into the relationship.

00:27:12
Speaker 1: Okay, I like that so much. So, so you would say to your clients when you go home and if let's say you're fighting over who's going to empty the dishwasher, I'm picking something random and the other person is saying, well, I don't have time, right, and the other person's saying, well I don't have time, Like whose time is more important? Which I know this is something couple's fight about, right in terms of like who's going to do the you know kind of day to day things, because usually it seems like one person the work seems more important and one person the work seems less important, you know, which is not necessarily fair. But I do feel like people make agreements in their relationships, like unconscious agreements.

00:27:52
Speaker 3: Well with this and in general, I always say, get to what the feeling is. Take away the words how are you feeling? Which it might sound a little cliche, but it is so powerful. I'll give a little example. And next boyfriend of mine we were in we were visiting his family and it was really cold in the house because his parents didn't want to spend money on the heat, and we were saying in the basement. So I remember feeling like just upset. And finally, and this was a million years ago when I first started learning about this concept, and I said to him, I don't feel taken.

00:28:33
Speaker 2: Care of.

00:28:34
Speaker 3: Because I realized I kept being like can you just please ask your parents to turn a dad, I'm freezing. We actually had to go to the store to buy a comforter to so I can be warmer and a space heater.

00:28:46
Speaker 2: So but finally I turned it on myself.

00:28:47
Speaker 3: Instead of being mad at him, I turned to myself and I was like, well, what is really going on?

00:28:51
Speaker 2: What is the feeling?

00:28:51
Speaker 3: So once I said I'm not feeling taken care of, he understood and he went right up the stairs and told his parents because he didn't want me to feel not taken care of.

00:29:02
Speaker 1: That's good.

00:29:03
Speaker 2: Get to the feeling. Yeah, yeah, it changes everything.

00:29:09
Speaker 1: That's good. I like that. That's very good. That's some good, good, good advice. I like it. So let's now. This is one of the problems of having an expert on is that you know, we're doing a TV show, right, so and we have to keep going. We can't have everything figured out right. So sometimes what you guys would say about such relationships on the show, you know, we're just gonna have to make it roll on exactly. But when you're watching Aiden Carrey, so you felt like when so when we have this first argument where he's talking about the shoes and the clothes, and you felt like it was a bit of a regression. She's talking about his stuff, he's talking about her stuff. They're like going through it. And I think this totally makes sense in terms of what we know about the characters, because she's never lived with anybody. You know, this is it's a big thing. The relationship was big, had been like very you know, held off right for you know, he had kept it at a certain place, which you know was uncomfortable for her, as we all know. But so with this one, I feel like she's really growing. You know that she's trying. You know, she's doing her best to like find her voice and talking to us about it and then going back and using her voice, and you know he's handling it as best as he can. Like it's kind of adorable, you know.

00:30:21
Speaker 3: Yeah. And I love that he's compared a big He is open to a real relationship and they both are. So they're young and navigating this together. I don't remember had he lived with anybody before.

00:30:35
Speaker 1: I think he we don't ever really see that much. And I feel like he I don't think he ever says I think he I don't know. Someone's going to tell us in the comments. I don't know. Later on we see that he marries somebody else and he has kid, and then we later on we see the kids this much much much later, But that I feel like Carrie was like his first big thing. I think. I mean, he had this as a girlfriend. When she broke up with him and went back to Big. He had a girlfriend that we saw a couple of times. She was blonde. I can't remember her name. People are going to tell us at the comments, but is unclear how serious. You know, you don't ever get the sense that they've moved it together or anything like that.

00:31:18
Speaker 3: But what's interesting is that they came into this both not wounded necessarily. Maybe he was, but Carrie going through the same with Big. He was never really present and never really gave her what she needed. So they're both coming together and they have some hurt from the past, and so they're bringing these what I call unresolved issues. Once again, we don't need to get too but anyhow issues.

00:31:41
Speaker 1: Let me ask you this, does anyone not have unresolved issues?

00:31:44
Speaker 3: Everyone has an unresolved Okay, okay, okay, unresolved issues anything that is disturbing your peace, that's all it is.

00:31:53
Speaker 2: It's not a big deal.

00:31:54
Speaker 1: Got it, got it?

00:31:54
Speaker 3: Got it? Huh? You come him with these unresolved issues. And this is part of what we were talking about before with the judgment. The work that I do to help people is that you get to the root of what is this unresolved issue and you say, I, this is a little bit longer. I forgive myself for It's called compassionate self forgiveness. So with them, So let's say she's hurt because she feels like she's not good enough for big okay, but then now all of a sudden, she's used to that and now she's here, So she goes I forgive myself for buying into the misbelief that I'm not good enough because she's walking around subconsciously thinking she's not good enough just because one man thought she wasn't. So she needs to make sure or anybody in the situation that she shows up in this relationship once again loving herself one additionally showing up knowing her worth.

00:32:54
Speaker 1: Let's go over to Charlotte for a second, because poor Charlotte, Oh, it's so sad, is so so sad, And I had forgotten when I had Kyle on the podcast, A while ago, maybe six months ago, maybe a little bit more, and I had forgotten a lot of the details, like I had forgotten about the cardboard baby, which you know, how could I forget I don't know. But like once we because we break up in season three, but then we get back together because we start having sex, and so that part seems to be solved once the pressure is off, and then we get back together, and I Charlotte really wants this baby that they had always talked about, right like, he seemed totally down with the plan, but then it doesn't happen so easily. So once it doesn't happen so easily and she has to go through IVF, he just seems immediately exhausted, which is so sad, and he says things like I just want to play golf, you know that was in a previous episode, which is also just like just so heartbreaking, and she's like, but isn't you know we've got to work for things and things are you know? This is a good thing we need to work for and he just is not in it with her, which is really heartbreaking. So she finally in this episode seems to be, you know, realizing how separated they are emotionally because they have never been good about talking about their feelings. And then he brings home this cardboard baby and he thinks it's funny. And Kyle told me when he was on the podcast that he didn't really feel great about the cardboard Baby, and I said, not having rewatched it yet, I said, you know, I think you were trying to make a joke because he doesn't know how to talk about his feelings Trey, right, not Kyle, Obviously he does not. He's never even when they were not having sex, he could not talk about it, which to me is worse than not having sex, right, Like, you need to be able to discuss things or you're going to have a terrible time, which is exactly what happens with Trey and Charlotte. It's so sad. So he brings a cardboard baby and she's just immediately like, don't even look at me. It's so sad, And it's really just the end. It's the end. What did you think when you were watching them?

00:35:05
Speaker 3: First of all, you did a really amazing job of acting like thank you, I mean you, It was heartbreaking, sad. I think that any woman watching that episode could feel whether it's you want a baby, you want a man, whatever it is.

00:35:22
Speaker 2: Could feel like in that moment, you could see he he just doesn't get it.

00:35:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you were over it and accepting that maybe he just doesn't get it.

00:35:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's so sad.

00:35:34
Speaker 3: It was so sad, But also it was I think it was clarity for your character.

00:35:41
Speaker 1: Well, that's true, that's true. She needs some clarity with this because she's just going to keep trying. That's the one thing about Charlotte. She'll try and try and try, probably past when she should be trying, you know. And that's kind of, I think a hard thing to know, Like how do you know when to give up? You know?

00:35:59
Speaker 3: Well I always say that, and the some people will resonate with this in some well that's okay. So many times in life people try to get their answer and they try so hard, but that actually pushes things away. I'm a very spiritual person, like you can just relax and chill into knowing that your answer is going to come to you.

00:36:21
Speaker 2: Then your answer. You make space for the.

00:36:23
Speaker 3: Answer to arrive, to receive the answer wherever it comes from. If you want to see the universe a chance meeting, whatever it is. But that's what I say, because people, when you're with a law of attraction, you push things away when you're so focused on something, the universe gives us what we focus on. If you're focused on something not working out versus just trusting it's going to then it's become a self fulfilling prophecy.

00:36:48
Speaker 2: It's not going to work out.

00:36:50
Speaker 3: So you want to focus on just trusting that your answer is going to come to you and like I said, giving the giving space for it and it will arrive.

00:37:00
Speaker 2: I like that being don't be in fear mode.

00:37:03
Speaker 1: Sure. But the thing about that though, I'm just talking about Charlotte now. So Charlotte, Charlotte lives in the fact that it's going to work out, hmmm, do you know what I mean? And sometimes I think she's so focused on her vision, right. She has a very clear, you know, picture of what she wants and she's like super focused on it. So then let's say, life is you know, throwing problems at you right within this vision, right, Like she finds Trey Trey is just picture perfect for her, right, and that's what she's focused on, the picture perfect. She's not necessarily focused on the deeper part of it, which is her whole journey over time, which thank god, it works out because she The thing about Charlotte I love is she's willing to do the work right, she's she's in it. She's going to do the work. She's going to do whatever she has to do. But she's focused on you know, this is what I want and this is what I'm going to get. And so then you know, she doesn't have sex with Trey because she thinks that's the right thing to do. Now, slightly insane idea, but she's got her vision and she's going to try to go after her vision. So then he can't get it up before their wedding, and she's like, I'm not even I'm just gonna I'm just gonna ignore that over there, because I got the vision and the vision's good, right, the vision's really good, and I love him and he loves me, and it's beautiful. No no, no, no, no, it's gonna work out. So it's like the problems are coming, but she's like, I can handle it. I can handle it. It's going to work out. I live in that it's going to work out. But then you can't do the work on the other person, right, And like I said, Charlotte is willing to do the work, which is great, But sometimes in that pursuit of the vision and living in like my vision's gonna happen, she doesn't even really feel the feelings and see the truth of what's right now, you know.

00:38:48
Speaker 3: Yeah, So when you're working, if you're dealing with someone else in a situation like this, right, we cannot control other people.

00:38:54
Speaker 2: We can just control ourselves.

00:38:57
Speaker 3: But also I think the bigger message also is with someone like this, it's acceptance. People have people say that, and I love this that acceptance is the first rule of spirituality, that when you can accept something, you free yourself.

00:39:15
Speaker 2: Though I think that she.

00:39:17
Speaker 3: She yeah, she was a little I love that she was so positive, that she is so positive because you need that to manifest. But at the same time, if you were like you're saying she wasn't in touch with her feelings, she wasn't. She was a little delusional, a little too flighty, a little knock rounded enough, so it was like a little too extreme.

00:39:37
Speaker 1: She is she is, but like just basically she's not in you know, you were saying, when you feel like somebody's not going to work out, it's not going to work out. That's the opposite of Charlotte, right, But it's also like any extreme is kind of a problem. I feel like, like if you're just like, it's gonna work out, and yet everything in the moment is saying no, there's eggs YZ problems, you need to deal with them, you know what I'm say. Like she was just like.

00:40:01
Speaker 3: It's gonna work out, but also she I feel like she had the fear underneath everything that it wasn't going to and that almost was stronger. Oh so yeah, So that's what when you say the universe gives us what we focus on.

00:40:16
Speaker 2: She was actually more focused on the fear.

00:40:18
Speaker 1: It wasn't going to happen for me having the baby, yes.

00:40:22
Speaker 2: Versus trusting it's going to happen.

00:40:24
Speaker 1: Well, there's a long reason for that. We might not remember. But and I think for her because she's kind of alone. She's alone in this right, and that struck me rewatching it also because she you know, her friends are not at the same place, right, and they don't want the same things. You know, they're very everyone's very open about it. So Miranda gets pregnant, you know, by mistake, right, and it's not the best situation, but then she decays to keep it, which of course is really fascinating and great and I love how they wrote that. But Charlotte really wants what she wants, but she's very much alone in it in terms of the friend, and then Trey just kind of emotionally abandons her. You know, basically, I don't know that he was ever emotionally fully open to her, let's put it that way. But I don't know that she knew that because she was so you know, into the vision, and they were so attracted to each other, and he was so great in so many ways, but never really emotionally connected or emotionally expressive, I guess would be the way to put it. So I feel like for Charlotte because she has this fertility problem that no one believes her. They think she's just worried, but she's not worried. She actually has a problem. She goes to the doctor, they finally tell her she has a problem. She tells Miranda. Miranda's really sweet about it, but she's she doesn't even know how to like that. As much as the friends talk and everything, it's it's she doesn't even really know how to turn to the friends about the problem right, which is kind of sad. And I didn't think about it that much at the time because also we were kind of young. We were, I think thirty five at this point. Maybe we didn't have a lot of friends who'd already gone through all this, you know, fortill any problems and issues and all the IVF and all the things that all the people have to do. It's hard, man, it's really hard. But we were younger and we didn't really know. I didn't personally know how hard. So I think it was interesting that they wrote it, and I think I did my best obviously, and later on I was like, oh, I hope I did that, because it's really hard, a lot harder than I realized. But I also feel for her watching this that like's she's just kind of alone in it, you know. And when she goes over, does she watch the porn? Does the porn come on in this episode? No, that's the next one she goes over. She's really like, has really understands now that they're going to break up, and she's down about it. She goes over and they want to watch gay porn because it's a long story about Murray Abraham's character. They were at a party and at a bar, and he gives it to Carrie and the others are watching because it's funny, but she's like, I don't want to watch this undepressed. But they don't really know what to even say to her, you know what I mean. It's kind of sad, like when one friend is going through something that the others haven't gone through. I hadn't really thought about that at the time, but I felt bad for Charlotte rewatching that.

00:43:09
Speaker 3: And I feel like the show, just like the Samantha character, was groundbreaking, was before it's time also, so it's cool it was just at the beginning of when Ivy and things like that, that's true, starting to be more talked about and more prevalent and more available. But yees, that's that would be very very difficult if you feel like nobody understands you.

00:43:31
Speaker 1: Right, And I do think that's what was going on, you know, for you feel alone. Yeah, And I mean it's not like Charlotte is Charlotte. I think has a lot of feelings, but I don't think that she knows a whole lot about how to express them. Like she makes lots of references to being a wasp and you know, her family just played tennis when they were upset, and that's what she kind of She's like, oh, Trey is like me. You know, we're in this wasp category of not shouting, not having big emotions to whatever. But then it is very limiting and she can't have a relationship that feels really really good to her without doing some work on herself, you know, in terms of expressing herself, which I think is great. And I don't know that we ever spit that out exactly, but I do think that that's like a really good, you know, overtime storyline for her.

00:44:23
Speaker 3: But that was great growth for Charlotte and Trey because she literally sat in that episode we don't fight, and then they started yelling each other.

00:44:30
Speaker 1: That's so true. That was good. And I did wonder because it's one of those things too where like I can look at the writing and I can see, oh, that's kind of a funny fight, right because the girls are watching it. But then I think to myself, like, did I seem angry enough? I don't know, you know what I mean, did I did? Okay? Good?

00:44:46
Speaker 4: Yeah?

00:44:47
Speaker 1: Absolutely, okay.

00:44:48
Speaker 3: It was so good because you said it so seriously, like wasps do not fight.

00:44:52
Speaker 2: And then you guys were going crazy at each other. It was good.

00:44:54
Speaker 1: Oh good, I'm glad. It was funny. I had forgotten that thank you. I had forgotten about that part. I had remembered that he comes back for the picture, but I'd forgotten all the details. It's so sweet. It's so sad and so sweet.

00:45:07
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was. It was a very emotional episode.

00:45:09
Speaker 1: They just need a therapist. I really think Trey and Charlotte need a therapist. And she tried to take him earlier and he wouldn't go. They go like once and doesn't. He won't. He won't do the things, he won't do the work.

00:45:21
Speaker 2: Well.

00:45:21
Speaker 3: One of the things that you said about how you were describing this as I would say an immature like not as grown whatever, grown up relationship, because she was looking at the surface. And until you are, until you've matured more, you do look you check off the boxes. Yes, what what I'm looking for first is what are the really important things to be aligned on? Financial stuff, lifestyle issues.

00:45:46
Speaker 2: Do you want kids? How much do you want kids?

00:45:49
Speaker 1: Yeah?

00:45:49
Speaker 2: And so they didn't have the important conversations.

00:45:52
Speaker 1: It's so true. I mean they did, they did, and he said yes, I want kids, Let's have kids. And then when they got that that's a good question, And of course I do think he he at one point, and we never really learn all of Trey's story, right, but like there is a scene back after when they don't have sex when they're married, right, and then she tries to go to therapists they want, and then they break up, and then they have sex and they have a conversation at one point and he says, you know, it's just so much pressure, right, like because also I proposed to him. He clearly wasn't ready, you know what I mean, So there's that, but also like the pressure of him doing the things that you're supposed to do, you know, like men and women both feel that.

00:46:33
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that she was definitely putting a lot of pressure on him, and so once again, yeah, he's showing up inauthentic, not in his own timeline. And when you're in a situation like that, it's never going to work out because then it's almost then the person resents the other person. So yeah, he resents her, whether it was conscious or not, for pushing him. Like I was telling my clients to never give someone an ultimatum if the engagement doesn't.

00:47:01
Speaker 2: Happen before this time, I'm gonna end the relationship.

00:47:04
Speaker 1: No, that seems so hard for everyone, do you know what I mean? Like, that's just a hard way to go, you know, yes, Like don't you just want to be together? Like like what does that mean?

00:47:19
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:47:19
Speaker 3: I mean I I've had clients that these girls, you know, they want to get married, and I understand, but I have to literally force them to pull back the reins and I explain to them the psychology of it.

00:47:32
Speaker 2: Do you realize that if you make him he might resent you? And then this is this isn't good?

00:47:37
Speaker 1: Right? That's good. That's good because I don't think. I think when you are so desperately wanting something, you aren't necessarily able to think about how it is experienced by the other person.

00:47:49
Speaker 3: Yeah, and I'm happy you brought that up because empathy is so.

00:47:52
Speaker 4: Important in a relationship, absolutely, and understanding what you were saying about judgment right to to think about judgment as being something that is going to block your understanding and your empathy and your connection and your connection.

00:48:05
Speaker 1: That's good. That's good. That's good. Needs to connect and yeah, that's really good. Do you ever think about I don't know if this is me leaping, because I do think about this a lot. You know how social media has kind of amplified negativity. Do you feel that that's true. I feel that that's true, and I feel like it's so bad for everyone, you know. I think it's a weird thing because I think people think that they're bonding through the negativity, right with other people who feel negative about the same thing or whatever it is. But I feel like the negativity then creates judgment, right, and the judgment is so loud and like in front, like it shades everything that you can't even see what you're talking about anymore, you know.

00:49:05
Speaker 3: So what you're talking about is called trauma bonding. Oh yeah, and it's yeah, it's never gonna work. I always say that your relationship should be your solace, the peace in your life. With all the stress and the fear and the negativity in the world. Your relationship should be that place, the warm, soft landing, the arms. And so it doesn't mean that if two people, because we talk about undersolved issues, two people can come together that have undersolved issues. However, you need to do the work, do the work to heal together a heel individually and the whole like the whole negativity thing. Yeah, if you're bringing all this negativity into a relationship, it might feel good and like home because you're used to drama on everything, maybe from what you saw growing up or in your past relationships. But it's not healthy, it's not sustainable, and it's ultimately not going to make you happy. So that is also why I do this work to inspire people to know that what relationships actually can be. You never need to settle, and you deserve to be happy.

00:50:11
Speaker 1: That's good, that's good, let's talk about That reminded me of Samantha because what I love about this particular episode for Samantha, she's got Richard. We've had Richard for a little bit now, and it's been this kind of theme of like she's trying to focus on the fact that it's just great sex and he has a beautiful you know what, and blah blah blah, and this one I haven't won. I had forgotten how it ended. And someone a past guest has said like, oh, like remember when they played the Shade song, And I was like, no, I don't remember they play the Shade song. I had remembered the pool location it's a beautiful apartment. I was there for some reason. I don't know, because I obviously Charlotte never goes to Richard's apartment, I don't think. But anyway, I was there, and it was gorgeous, like just dropped a incredible like just to have that pool on that roof and have that view, Oh my goodness, me really dreamy. But I had forgotten what a great sequence of scenes that is between them, and how interesting Kim is, you know, in this this phase of Samantha, because she obviously has feelings, but she's like, I'm not gonna I'm not gonna give in. I'm not going to give in to the feelings, and she's really trying everything. But he's and he's also Richard James Remark, who plays Richard. He's so good because he's very simple in how he is with her, like he doesn't he doesn't give up like power in the relationship. But he also kind of cuts through her kind of like blousy, kind of like it's just sex, you know. He just kind of cuts through in such a really interesting, simple way, and it is really gorgeous and beautiful. And then when the song plays, because he wants to dance with her, and she he wanted to have dinner. He has dinner set up and she's like no, you know, and he and she drops her clothes and she tells him to drop his clothes, and then he drops his clothes. I've forgotten about all this, and I think it was so beautifully shot by Charles McDougall. Also because it was very tasteful but beautiful. They're both very beautiful. And then they'd swim and you know, obviously have sex, I assume, And then he wants to dance and the shot hey comes on. She's like no, and then he gets her to anyway, and she looks she has so much feeling and it's so sweet.

00:52:25
Speaker 3: Yes, I loved this so much, so much emotion. Well, it was interesting, I thought, because I hadn't seen it in twenty years. I thought that when she showed up and she said, no, let's just have sex, not have dinner, I thought he was gonna say, no, let's have dinner.

00:52:39
Speaker 2: So it was a good tease of for shit or whatever.

00:52:42
Speaker 3: Yeah, because at the end he does turn things around a little bit. And the best thing was you saw in her eyes. She I don't know if you saw this but she she wasn't crying.

00:52:53
Speaker 2: She got emotional.

00:52:54
Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw it, of course I saw.

00:52:55
Speaker 2: Yeah, she wold.

00:52:57
Speaker 3: Up because it was like, also the first time we're seeing some that.

00:53:00
Speaker 1: I have these yeah feeling.

00:53:02
Speaker 2: It was great And but that's what love can that's what love can do.

00:53:06
Speaker 1: Yeah, for sure, for sure. It's really nice. It's so nice and beautifully beautifully done. You know, I'd kind of forgotten. I knew intellectually, like, oh, she meets her match, right, like he's powerful and you know, wheeling and dealing and all the things, right, but like it's really it's it's very beautiful that coming together and so beautifully filmed in the song and all all the things really work. Let's also, we haven't talked about Miranda, poor Miranda trying to have sex. Oh my gosh, I had forgotten about this too. What do you think of this as a therapist?

00:53:48
Speaker 2: I think it's so funny. There was a part where she's like, what are most people do in the situation? Someone's like maybe Carrie was like nobody else.

00:53:55
Speaker 1: I know, I know, I mean someone is okay, someone is. There are people out there who get pregnan and aren't with the person that they got pregnant with. I definitely think there are people out there, but it isn't your average dating situation. But it's really interesting. It's really interesting.

00:54:10
Speaker 3: When she was talking about is the penis pointed dente the baby, I my son is I have a son, and I.

00:54:18
Speaker 2: Was worried that he was gonna poke. I called it poking my song. I was worried. Also. I think maybe it's a normal thing. I don't know.

00:54:25
Speaker 3: Yeah, anyhow, so yes, I think it's it's empowering, especially.

00:54:32
Speaker 2: Going into the world we're living in now.

00:54:34
Speaker 3: It's so empowering. I think it's a fun, cute storyline. And yeah, she got pregnant with this guy who she wasn't gonna be married to, and and if she falls in love with this guy who actually could be something, why not, I'm all for it.

00:54:51
Speaker 1: Well, I don't even think it was about falling in love with him. I think she just wants to have second a lot of hormones going.

00:54:56
Speaker 2: You know what I'm saying.

00:54:57
Speaker 1: You're a love therapist over there. You're so cute, but I I mean, this guy was pretty impressive, you know. But I think that Miranda, and this is what I do love about her. You know, she's really independent and she's not trying to look for love or you know, find the guy or whatever. She's the opposite of Charlotte in so many ways. Well so is Samantha really but I love that about her. And and then love kind of just takes her like shows up, you know, in a way that like you know, she can't deny, which just like with the baby, she's like, I'm not going to have the baby. This makes no sense. But then she has the baby because she's like, I want to have the baby. So she's going to have the baby. She's going to make it work. She's going to find a way to make it work. I love that about her. It's very inspiring.

00:55:37
Speaker 3: Yeah, and also we were she was she's this working woman and once again this is like unfortunate. This is going into this whole world where women's empowerment, with women.

00:55:48
Speaker 2: Working, having babies, having it all. And so it was cool to see that.

00:55:53
Speaker 3: This was like right before we're going into this next Okays, I'm seeing that a lot.

00:55:57
Speaker 1: Definitely, most definitely, most most definitely, And yes, it's wonderful. I mean, she does end up marrying Steve, as we all know, but it's great that she was open to not doing that, you know what I mean.

00:56:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, and that actor he was very good looking.

00:56:11
Speaker 1: Oh my god, Yes, let's find his name. He was and he is later on the Last of Us, which is funny because yeah, yeah, we have a couple of people who are it's Robert John Burke, and I am just still trying to figure out where I know his work from separate from our show. He's really good, really really handsome and really good and you can totally see why she would be like, oh, this is incredible, I should have sex with this dude or whatever, and then I don't. I guess nothing happens, but I mean, too bad. He seemed very very impressive and knew he knew all the languages, and he was like a world traveler. It was very interesting, very much like Miranda's equal, you know, in so many ways.

00:56:52
Speaker 4: Yeah, intellectual intelligence, right, what she wants, that's what she wants, which is very interesting.

00:56:57
Speaker 1: But obviously you're pregnant with someone else's baby. It is kind of you know, it's a situation. It's a situation.

00:57:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I like that wants and so before it's time, because situations like this probably happen like way more often. Yeah, now, yeah, yeah, And I think.

00:57:14
Speaker 3: If the guy, whoever it is, let's say, a different situation, if this actually turns into a relationship. I mean, people are blending their families, yes, having babies, and then they get divorced after the baby, before the baby's born.

00:57:27
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah yeah.

00:57:28
Speaker 2: Things are happening all the time.

00:57:30
Speaker 3: And as somebody said yesterday, called it a second act or a third act whatever.

00:57:36
Speaker 2: You know, as long as you.

00:57:38
Speaker 3: End up finally with whoever is right for you, it's not good. People are people are having babies and having babies.

00:57:46
Speaker 2: With more than one man, you know.

00:57:49
Speaker 1: I definitely I just people to be happy, definitely, most definitely. Well, thank you so much. That was really fun. You have a lot of really interesting insights. I appreciate it so much.

00:58:01
Speaker 2: Oh of course, I'm so happy to be here. I was so this show.

00:58:06
Speaker 3: I mean I watched every episode, and I mean, at the time, it's very interesting because the guy was in love with at the time, his name was John. So when I found out that mister Biggs's name was John, I was like, we're crazy.

00:58:20
Speaker 1: Wait did you finish your story about your friends and the names?

00:58:23
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:58:23
Speaker 3: So my friends, there's four of us, and we all had we were all designated to somebody.

00:58:29
Speaker 2: So I was Carrie.

00:58:31
Speaker 3: My friend Betsy was Charlotte. It looks like you where's the pearls? Those definitely more by the books, like just more proper. One of my friends was because she was I'm not saying names, because she was maybe a little promiscuis.

00:58:52
Speaker 2: She was Samantha.

00:58:53
Speaker 3: And then there was literally a lawyer in our group, so she was.

00:59:00
Speaker 1: That's great. Yeah, and did it? Did it? Did? Did they want to be these everybody? Like? Was everyone happy with their their person?

00:59:09
Speaker 2: Yeah?

00:59:09
Speaker 3: I mean they I think that maybe the promiscuous one was maybe a little offend.

00:59:14
Speaker 1: I don't know, like, oh no, Samantha is super powerful.

00:59:18
Speaker 2: The lawyer one said she got that one by default because.

00:59:24
Speaker 3: But it's okay. And we would we would this is before. This is when we would go and I was a picture taker. I had always in my camera. We would go out with our style of shoutfits and take a picture and we'd be like we are like this is who we are and we were like, oh my god, there's the second city girl.

00:59:40
Speaker 2: So it was, yeah, such a great fun time.

00:59:45
Speaker 1: That's good. I'm so glad. Well, thank you so much for joining us.

00:59:49
Speaker 2: Of course this is so much fun.

00:59:51
Speaker 1: I'm so glad, Thank you, thank you,