Hayden Panetierre’s Boyfriend Speaks Out, As Mom and Neutrogena Defend Themselves Amid Public Backlash

00:00:02
Speaker 1: Hey there, folks. It is Friday, August twenty first, and we are hearing from two people in Hayden Penetier's life, and they are two people that a lot of folks say have played a role in her early passing. And with that, welcome to this episode of Amy and TJ. Mom and the boyfriend are speaking, and the mom and the boyfriend robes publicly are getting a whole hell of a lot of heat.

00:00:29
Speaker 2: That's true, and it's the first statement we're hearing from Hayden's boyfriend. It's the second statement that we're hearing from her mom because she felt the need to follow up because of all of the backlash she's receiving from her original statement. And we also learned amid all of these flying statements and tons of reaction that's taking place among celebrities online, et cetera, the DEA is now involved in the investigation into Hayden's death. And that's a note because the last time we saw the DEA get involved in a death investigation, it was with Matthew Perry and we saw a lot of folks being held criminally responsible for his overdose death.

00:01:09
Speaker 1: Where do you want to start with this? When the mom, the boyfriend are gonna start on this.

00:01:13
Speaker 3: Let's start with the boyfriend, Okay.

00:01:15
Speaker 1: Can I ask as well? Is is that where we are? Because for some reason, for some it feels inappropriate to call him the boyfriend. We know he was the ex boyfriend. We know he was the ex boyfriend who beat her, We know he was the ex boyfriend who was convicted, who planned no contests to domestic violence against this woman. I don't think was it well known that she had reconciled with this guy.

00:01:37
Speaker 2: I don't believe it was well known, But now that we have the information we have, it is believed that, yes, in fact, she was currently his girlfriend at the time of her death.

00:01:46
Speaker 1: Yeah, i'd like to I guess we haven't heard from any other family or friends of hers, or somebody that was close who confirmed that detail. It just feels icky to call him the boyfriend.

00:01:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, but I mean she was traveling with him and his brother.

00:01:56
Speaker 2: I mean, it does feel like they and I think it's been constantly to as her on again, off again boyfriend, and it appears at the time of her death she was on again with him. And look, we heard from him wondering if we were going to we only heard from him through his attorney, and they're clearly trying to go against or at least have a statement about many people. And I think Hayden's mom obviously added to this that he somehow is responsible or being looked at as being responsible for her death.

00:02:30
Speaker 1: And it's fair in the way the language the mom used, because we don't want to get to ahead and blame him for something. He is not being accused of physically doing something to harm her.

00:02:39
Speaker 3: That needs to be so.

00:02:41
Speaker 2: Brian's statement through his attorney reads as follows. Hayden's death remains under investigation, and it is important to allow that investigation to proceed. As has been publicly reported, Police confirmed there were no signs of foul play. Out of respect for Hayden's loved ones and the ongoing investigation, there will be no further.

00:03:03
Speaker 3: Comment at this time.

00:03:04
Speaker 1: What else do you say.

00:03:05
Speaker 2: There's nothing else he can say at this point, because yes, by all accounts, you would imagine he is being looked at because if you do supply someone who is vulnerable with a certain amount of drugs and they take those drugs and at least to their debts, we have absolutely seen people be criminally held responsible again, Matthew Perry would be the most recent example of this. And so, yes, we now know that the DAA has joined the investigation, and yes the lead investigative agency, Silverman's remains the Greenville CITYPD. But that is significant to have that federal agency agency step in.

00:03:39
Speaker 1: I mean they don't. We still don't as we sit here and know the cause of death right physical signs. But she's gone through an autopsy and there is no determination yet, So I guess we have to wait on a toxicology report, which could sometimes take some time. We don't know when we're going to get that answer. If that answer comes back, as whatever are they going to link? I don't know how you make the connection. Was something provided to her that shouldn't have been? Who gave it to her? Oh? How many people got involved? How many people went to prison over to Matthew Perry thing?

00:04:09
Speaker 2: I think at least five or six that many people. But the only thing we know right now is what was in that original police report. And the officer who took down the report did say that Brian Hickerson showed police the quote bag of medication Hayden was taking, and I wonder if he knew about the bag of medication, so she that I'm assuming that would imply she had a lot of prescription drugs, or at least more than one prescription drug she was taking. If any of these other drugs she may or may not have taken, who were supplied to.

00:04:43
Speaker 3: Her by whom we don't know.

00:04:45
Speaker 2: I don't know because doctors were held responsible. I believe an executive assistant was held responsible in Matthew Perry's situation. But if you know your loved one is taking X amount of prescription drugs, are you responsible? Then if you encourage her or give her drugs, that would complicate those medications enough to stop someone's heart.

00:05:04
Speaker 3: So clearly this all has to be looked at by police.

00:05:08
Speaker 2: And I thought that was a note that there was a bag of medication that he gave to police saying this is what she was taking. And I also thought this was interesting that the police report included I observed Zach and that's the brother of Brian, to be very emotional while EMS were working on Hayden. Brian did not become emotional until EMS declared her officially deceased, So that's been people have been pointing to that to note in the police.

00:05:33
Speaker 1: Report, let's say, where they're trying to what conclusion that you're jumping.

00:05:37
Speaker 3: That his emotion was delayed. I don't know.

00:05:41
Speaker 2: I mean, no one knows how anyone's going to react in that sort of situation. But a lot of people are pointing to how Hayden's own mom reacted initially to news of her death and the statement she released.

00:05:53
Speaker 3: It raised and ruffled. It raised a lot of eyebrows. It ruffled a lot of feathers.

00:05:57
Speaker 2: Enough that Hayden's mom put out out a new statement.

00:06:02
Speaker 1: Including these eyes and these feathers in this room. We read that statement and go, what the hell? Like, what in the world is it?

00:06:10
Speaker 3: It seemed robotic.

00:06:11
Speaker 1: She spoke about her at like a commodity. Never called her her daughter, my sweet baby. I mean just some you gave birth to this child. There was no emotion, and she spoke of her as it was, Ah, do we still have the old one?

00:06:24
Speaker 3: I don't have the old one, but we can pull it up. It's very easy.

00:06:27
Speaker 2: Here's the mom's new statement. Although my daughter and I were estranged, it was not for lack of care or love. It was due to the involvement of a toxic individual who I believe led to her death. She doesn't name him, but she is absolutely referring to Brian Hickerson. Hayden was a beautiful and talented young woman who unfortunately became involved with the wrong person, and although her family tried to extricate him from her life, we were unable to be successful. It leads me to believe there are still questions surrounding what happened, and I think we are all looking for answers. My heart is with you, Hayden. Mama. Look, the last line showed a little bit of emotion, but this is a woman who gave plenty of interviews saying she was the one.

00:07:15
Speaker 3: She admits she was the one.

00:07:17
Speaker 2: Who stopped all verbal communication with her own daughter out of the recommendation of her own therapists, who told her that she needed to back away from her own daughter. So she is fully admitted that she is the one who basically created a boundary with her daughter.

00:07:34
Speaker 1: How long have they been estranged.

00:07:36
Speaker 2: Unclear, but at least for the last several years they have not spoken.

00:07:43
Speaker 1: That one struck me rogues. As a matter of she is like directly making an accusation about the other guy, about directly, but she is it felt like it went a little too far in trying to deflect any blame from her over what happened. I asked about the years Hayden was struggling. She started dating this guy, was twenty twenty eighteen, twenty eighteen, Like when did the struggles with her mom start. It's a suggestion that this young lady was in trouble or had no problems until this guy showed up in her life. Like all the things leading up to twenty eighteen, mama had done perfectly, and it wasn't until this guy showed up that the relationship became strained. It reads like that, and I don't think Hayden ever spoke about it, and it didn't seem like this was a recent thing that came about with relations It sounded like there was something that happened throughout her career.

00:08:35
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And Hayden talks about in her book at the age of sixteen, when someone on her team, on her staff and her mom was very much present in her life at that point, was her mamager manager. That she was first given a drug to make her a little happy and peppy when she was on the set, and that was her gateway into a world of drug and alcohol abuse. That was at sixteen. Yeah, and her mom was right there and it was a member of her own team who gave her this drug that began a very obviously ultimately deadly path of destruction. I just said it had nothing to do with Brian Hickerson at that point.

00:09:17
Speaker 1: But her complaints have they not been talking about how well She says she's been acting since she was before she could walk.

00:09:24
Speaker 3: Eight months alver.

00:09:24
Speaker 1: Right, so she's what about one year, five years she's been in front of a camera, and all that time, in my understanding, robes is what she talked about, led to a breakdown because she got to an age where she realized how her mom was using her, how her mom wasn't there for her as a mom.

00:09:41
Speaker 3: It was about money.

00:09:42
Speaker 1: It was for her that she that was that relationship. So for her to put this out now it seems like no, no, no, no, no, no. All the problems started with this guy. He's the issue. He has always been the issue, and I and others that love her have tried for so long get her away from this. That is that the messaging she's going.

00:10:02
Speaker 2: That is the messaging she is going for and you're just what you're expressing a lot of people put it to words and put it online. There has been fierce reaction to Hayden's mom's original statement and do you have that?

00:10:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, and these are the lines that messed us up. I think Hayden was an amazingly talented person in so many departments. And I think young people who grow up in the entertainment industry, this is a struggle. It's very challenging industry, and it's not unusual for them to sadly find the wrong path. I think it becomes very difficult to be true to yourself. And I think Hayden sadly lost her way. And I wish it was different. I wish she had stayed true to herself because she had many incredible attributes. That is a woman talking about her dead daughter.

00:10:46
Speaker 2: Yeah, and today is her thirty seventh birthday. And I didn't see or hear or read any warmth whatsoever, And so our reaction to.

00:10:56
Speaker 1: This it was weird.

00:10:57
Speaker 2: Yeah, when we come back, we're going to tell you about what Holly Robinson Pete had to say and how that set off a whole new firestorm of folks who are in strong defense of Hayden and are coming after mama.

00:11:10
Speaker 3: And welcome back everyone to Amy and TJ.

00:11:22
Speaker 2: Yes, this would have been Hayden Pianateere's thirty seventh birthday, Friday, August twenty first, and just such an unbelievable tragedy that unfortunately she had been talking about, writing about trying to overcome for so many years, and then to have her mom release this statement that just seems so cold and robotic and deflective. Even the follow up statement is still pointing the finger at someone else but Holly Robinson Pete. She put this out on X and I thought this was well played and maybe an important conversation that needed to be pat She wrote this, Yes, regarding Hayden's mom statement, She's not wrong. We know this young lady clearly had so many issues. But if you're not going to take accountability for the fact that you put her in the business that eventually messed her up, then nothing you say has any integrity. She didn't even say I will miss my daughter or I loved my daughter the best way I could has she even mentioned the word daughter. There were so many things she could have said to show us that she was a caring mother and now both of her children are gone.

00:12:31
Speaker 3: It is also tragic. R Ip Hayden, the brother, what was that pass.

00:12:37
Speaker 2: An enlarged heart? It was just a freakish accident. He was in a New York City apartment and a welfare check and an autopsy later revealed that yes, he just died of natural causes. Robes.

00:12:50
Speaker 1: The second statement from the mom that she's mentioned daughter in that one, my strange daughter, and.

00:12:55
Speaker 2: She said he used the word looking to see if she used the word daughter. I Hayden know woman, knowing although my daughter and I were estranged, she used it in the same sentence to talk about them being estranged.

00:13:08
Speaker 1: Talented person woman, I'm looking to the first one them actors Hayden. She again, person young people is how she referred to her.

00:13:25
Speaker 3: That's telling. And look, Ruby Rose.

00:13:27
Speaker 2: I know she's an incendiary person who is very active on social media, but she she is problematic. But this is interesting. She posted private texts from this year, Babe, this year between her and Hayden's discussing Hayden's mom's cruelty. So she was letting everyone in on Hayden's state of mind about her mother, saying, I can't believe my mom still won't talk to me. This level of cruelty is unmatched, and so she was leaning on reaching out to Ruby Rose. They were obviously friendly talking about what her mom's cruelty he had done to her.

00:14:01
Speaker 3: So Ruby wanted everyone to know.

00:14:03
Speaker 2: And then Gail King's making headlines too, because when they read that initial statement, she said, it makes me so sad that of the opportunity that you have after your daughter's death, that that's what you choose to leave us with. You know, guys, you read this and all I can think of is thanks mom for nothing. So look, a lot of people have decided to speak out about Hayden's mom's statements.

00:14:24
Speaker 1: And it makes sense.

00:14:25
Speaker 2: We are.

00:14:26
Speaker 1: You didn't have to be like a weekly follower of the show Heroes or Nashville or anything. You didn't have to be a horror movie fan. But you know who this young lady is, and you know, Robes, there's some degree a part of her struggles over the years. You do. But for whatever reason, wrote she, I don't remember if you tell me if I'm wrong. Never did anything necessarily to offend the public. No, she wasn't out there flashing this or doing that. Or caught like it's some drunk and such an arrest she is. We've had the TV on in here, screams six. I think is the one I had on, yes ropes. She still looks like a kid. She just has an adorable frown, perfectly little face. She's just a cute lady, and so to hear, she struggled to hear it's someone who did things that we did, love and entertainment, and she didn't get it, like you have permission to put your arms around Hayden Panetiera and Mom might as well just say nothing, because now she's given us a reason to be mad at somebody.

00:15:29
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's true, and I know she's trying to get us all to be mad at Brian Hickerson, and plenty of people are, including the legal system. But you don't need to say anything at this point to try and defend yourself or deflect from any responsibility for what ended up happening to Hayden. But the point, like I have seen in contrast, every single person who ever worked with this young lady from the time she was a small child talking about her just unbelievable professionalism and even when she was going through action and going through depression, she still remembered every line, showed up for work every day, was the constant professional.

00:16:08
Speaker 1: Yeah.

00:16:08
Speaker 2: I mean, I've heard nothing but praise from folks who worked alongside her. They didn't describe some kid who was using a I don't want to say using, but who let addiction take her to a point where she became something monstrous or something disruptive. It actually makes you love her even more. The fact that she was dealing with this and battling this and still showed up and did her best and tried and tried and tried again.

00:16:36
Speaker 1: And the people who are saying nice things about her and letting us know how much of a hard worker and talented and wonderful person she was. Not a mama exactly. People can deal with a narrative of asshole boyfriend. You expect it almost right. You can have all kinds of iron and stuff you can direct towards him. We're used to that. We're not going to forgive a mama that's so true, not taking care of a kid, that's so true. So she is gonna get I would argue, you've been reading more of it than I have. But the vitriol I would imagine is probably a little degree or two hotter than even what he's getting.

00:17:14
Speaker 2: I agree, and it's not going away anytime soon. The other group that is getting a lot of backlash is New Trigina. There have been calls for a boycott because Hayden did write about losing her contract with the folks over at Nutrigina directly after and this is kind of crazy to think about. She goes on Live with Kelly and Michael twenty fifteen and she admits, or no, I shouldn't say admits, but she acknowledges and she expresses, and she talks about suffering from postpartum depression. She makes this admission on Live with Kelly and Michael, says she gets a phone call almost immediately from her agent saying that Nutrigina wants to fire her. They fought back, but she said she knew at that point. They did not renew her contract the following year, directly related to her acknowledging that she was suffering from postpartum depression.

00:18:04
Speaker 3: So now there's a renewed call for a.

00:18:07
Speaker 2: Boycott of Nutrigena, so much so that Nutrigena just had to put out a big, huge statement.

00:18:13
Speaker 1: Do you know, originally I know, we have the statement here. Do you know how they justified how they explained originally? They haven't explained now either.

00:18:20
Speaker 2: But I don't think they did explain, because they just didn't renew her contract.

00:18:23
Speaker 3: You know how it rolls.

00:18:24
Speaker 2: We dealt with the same thing in broadcasting, and I'm sure anyone who's in a contractual situation knows when they want to push you out. If they don't want the bad publicity of firing you, they'll just minimize you and let your contract run out, never renew anything, and never have to make a statement about it. And that is I believe what happened in this case.

00:18:44
Speaker 1: Yeah, and again that was one of those they said it was in some We all have these morals and whatever clauses.

00:18:51
Speaker 3: These what do we call it morality clause clause?

00:18:53
Speaker 1: What am I saying? Morality clause? They're always in there that you're not supposed to make any statement that would bring bad reputation upon the nutrient geno or the company or whatever it may be. I don't know how that would possibly be triggered by an interviewing.

00:19:10
Speaker 2: Well, they backed away from the firing, but her contract was up, and so they just didn't renew.

00:19:14
Speaker 1: It Okay, I still I what is I don't know after a decade long relationship, but what is it with any executive sitting around a room? Why is it? Well, we can't have this woman who is struggling represent us.

00:19:29
Speaker 2: Because it's icky and we're positive and it's all about positivity, and we don't want to have some dark disorder disease that no one wants to talk about. And now moms might be like ew, and she doesn't love her child, and they just they didn't like the negativity.

00:19:44
Speaker 3: They didn't want anything negative.

00:19:45
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm imagining that's obviously we don't know what happened in those conversations and those brand conversations, but they did not want to be associated with postpartum depression.

00:19:54
Speaker 1: Yes, to your point, they're getting heat.

00:19:55
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, a lot of heat. So they had to put out a statement and this is how it reads. For more more than a decade, Hayden was a valued member of our Nutrigena community. We are proud to have partnered with her and understand that we made her feel unsupported during a very difficult time. This is not what Nutrigena stands for or who we want to be. Hayden's courage in sharing her challenges helped inspire important conversations and awareness. We are making a significant investment to a long standing community health partner to help give women more women access to the support they need, including care for postpartum depression.

00:20:37
Speaker 3: How does that read?

00:20:38
Speaker 1: Now, don't put the statement out. I don't like that one, Oh Nutrigena, I'm sorry, that's awful, Wolena.

00:20:48
Speaker 3: I actually felt like nauseated reading.

00:20:50
Speaker 1: I know y'all got good people over there, and that's difficult, that's tough, and I know they got good folks, and I'm sure they thought they were making the right decision, the best one at the time, and for whatever have a reason back in twenty what year was it, twenty fifteen?

00:21:03
Speaker 3: Eleven years ago?

00:21:04
Speaker 1: And again I would be willing to give a lot of companies grace. You can do whatever you want to do. You don't want to renew her because you think that for some reason now the phrase of your company is now the face of something that's difficult and that's negative, and we don't want those to I would, if you want to make the argument, might not like it, but I could see My first argument to that is, yes, maybe it was a different time, and I think about Lindsay Clancy. Now, the conversations around postpartum are so negative and so awful. We don't recognize this stuff. A woman won't get help because why she might get fucking fired if she speaks about postpartum. This is the problem Rose, I've been saying about this Lindsay Clancy trial. We got to change the conversation. Here we go. A woman got fought. What next woman wants to go talk about it?

00:21:52
Speaker 2: Oh?

00:21:52
Speaker 3: I mean it could make me cry?

00:21:53
Speaker 2: Like this is exactly why mental health we aren't getting the resources that people need because this is exactly exhibit A. And they are I'm sorry, whether they want to admit it or not. This is a classic example of why people don't get the help they need because this is what happens when you admit it or acknowledge it. And I hate to say the word admit it. If I have cancer. I'm not admitting I have cancer.

00:22:17
Speaker 1: That sucks.

00:22:17
Speaker 3: You're right, man, it's it's awful.

00:22:19
Speaker 2: And look, I even didn't want to come out and talk about because people don't want to be viewed through a certain lens. It doesn't mean that they aren't valuable and having these conversations saves lives, No, Robes, it costs jobs, and it costs jobs.

00:22:32
Speaker 1: See that is the thing. And so she did this in a very public way. We saw this right, and she did an interview and it's heard her like that. What if it's the woman who's over her talking about it in the break room. She has the same fear apparently that Hayden has.

00:22:46
Speaker 3: Without a doubt.

00:22:46
Speaker 2: It's it's weakness. It's yes, it affects your ability to do your job. So I can't talk about it. So I have to bury it and push it down. And that can have lethal effects.

00:22:57
Speaker 1: And we have seen it. Robes were talking about three babies who are dead in Massachusetts and now we're talking about a thirty six year old young lady this day, Robes, No, nobody would try to And I know some of the stuff coming at nutrient GENA maybe they don't necessarily deserve, but Roobes after this statement.

00:23:14
Speaker 3: You just they're making a donation to women's mental.

00:23:17
Speaker 1: Health organization during bullshit.

00:23:19
Speaker 3: That's tough.

00:23:20
Speaker 2: They should not have included that, and if they did it, they should have done it without telling us.

00:23:24
Speaker 1: They did it, Yeah, in a more in a direct impactful way. We're gonna throw a check at a local community. See, we're awesome. Ew let's get back to selling these products, Robes. This is tough to say. She was a valued member for the community. Fine, we're proud to have partnered with her.

00:23:42
Speaker 2: Fine, until she said she had postpartum depression. That's the problem.

00:23:48
Speaker 1: Understand that we made her feel unsupported during.

00:23:51
Speaker 2: A different so you were you did not support her. See, I'm always you know, to make her feel that way. We bestick to apologies, folks. This is how you don't do it. You're not taking responsibility. I'm sorry you felt that way by what we did. No, I'm sorry for what I did. I'm sorry Hayden that you were struggling and we made it as a business decision. We kicked you while you were down. That's we kicked you because you were down.

00:24:21
Speaker 1: That line is tough, babe. Ooh nut, Regina. And again I give them. I know they got good folks and Robes and maybe they think this is great pr and maybe they think it'll go away. I don't know how many people got to read this ahead of time. Did nobody say this?

00:24:38
Speaker 2: Maybe we shouldn't use the we made her feel that words matter, and how you say something is just as important as when you say and why you say.

00:24:48
Speaker 1: She passed on Sunday. When did the nutri gena stuff really get going online? It wasn't immedia, wasn't it.

00:24:53
Speaker 3: No, it wasn't immedia.

00:24:54
Speaker 2: But people started looking back at her book and started, you know, reading some of her stories and some of the cries for help that she was clearly writing about and pointing out in her book. And I think it was about midweek I started to see it was like maybe Tuesday, Tuesday, Wednesday, people starting to call for a neutrogena boycott.

00:25:11
Speaker 1: I asked that because that last line about the donation reads as rushed.

00:25:16
Speaker 2: It was this, this came out just about fifteen, like less than twenty four hours ago.

00:25:22
Speaker 1: Significant investment to a long standing community health partner. How much and to whom.

00:25:27
Speaker 2: People have asked the same question. People have asked the same question.

00:25:30
Speaker 1: We haven't committed to anything to help give women more access to the support they need. Sometimes that's a better conversation. I don't need access to a clinic. I need you to not fire me because I said I'm struggling. This is man, this postpartum thing. That's the all Nutrogena. We'll hear from him again.

00:25:48
Speaker 3: They're gonna have to do better.

00:25:49
Speaker 1: They're gonna have to do a lot better. That's gonna have to be a CEO or somebody gets in front of a camera and speaks in a different way that is like a human being. Robes.

00:25:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, because don't piss off women when you're neut regina. Yes, that's your entire entire client base, like.

00:26:07
Speaker 1: Joe Rogan pissing off young men.

00:26:09
Speaker 2: Yes, right, you don't know your audience and they clearly lost sight of that.

00:26:14
Speaker 3: But we'll continue to follow this.

00:26:16
Speaker 2: This is this is a story not only that needs to be followed, but I think it's just important to so many women and women who have yet to experience what can happen to so many of us after giving birth. This is this is such an important conversation in the headlines, in a courtroom and in the headlines unfortunately as we await this death investigation. But we will continue to follow it all. We always appreciate you listening to us.

00:26:40
Speaker 3: Everyone. I'm Amy Robach alongside TJ. Holmes. We'll talk to