Sept. 14, 2025
Do You Want To Ride In My Mercedes, Boy?
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RSS Feed Ben wants to play matchmaker, but before he can, he's got a lot of questions for Mercedes. From how important her faith is to how her most recent relationship ended poorly...Mercedes is laying it all out for Ben.
Who is the most handsome Bachelor of all time? Would she kiss on a first date? We're getting PERSONAL this episode!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:00
Speaker 1: iHeart podcasts, bring you the ultimate Summer of love tree. This is Famously Available. It's been and I'm back with another episode of our new favorite show, Famously Available. Well, I do a deeper dive and try to kind of play matchmaker for some great, absolutely fantastic eligible single women. But before we start sending them on dates, I gotta get to know them so well. I want to know what they're looking for today. I'm joined by how I describe it, a cloud of joy. I don't know if cloud actually works there, but a bundle of joy, A bright light in our Bachelor World contestant from Zach Season and Bachelor and Paradise contestant Mercedes Northup.
00:00:47
Speaker 2: Thanks for being back with us.
00:00:48
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm excited.
00:00:50
Speaker 1: We're podcasting today from the Verbo Summerhouse in Lake Tahoe.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: Mercedes's beautiful.
00:00:56
Speaker 3: Oh it's stunning here. This is my first time here. I love it.
00:01:00
Speaker 1: It's incredible. It's an amazing place to vacation, to hang out. Verbo offers last minute deals for private vacation rentals.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: Did you know that? It's pretty exciting.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: On the Verbo app and website, you can get last minute deals that are showing travelers nearly three hundred thousand discount of properties. They can do this in book within thirty days of check in some amazing places like Tahoe obviously, Hilton Head, South Carolina, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, San Diego, Portavarda. And I think today we're having this wonderful conversation about future love that I believe we're going to find you, Mercedes, in the most beautiful house, in the most beautiful setting I've been in in a long time. Mercedes, Yes, play little game today with you. Okay, ready, You're going to answer these questions for yourself, not for your future.
00:01:55
Speaker 2: Guy pal.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: Obviously, we talked about you being on Zaz season. That's how we know you were on Bachelor in Paradise. Yep, you are still single. When we caught up last time, kind of about dating. Dating was a little bit slow.
00:02:11
Speaker 3: Yep, very still slow.
00:02:14
Speaker 2: It's kind of shocking to me.
00:02:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I'll be honest, it's very confusing. So at Generous Coffee, the company operate. We just not on purpose or for whatever reason. We just hired a bunch of like really great twenty five to thirty year old like women. At the beginning, there were people I knew or friends of friends or you know, daughters of friends of my families.
00:02:40
Speaker 2: And all of these women were single.
00:02:43
Speaker 1: And I've sat with him so many times in the midst of these conversations about future love and wanting to find a partner, and now, you know, seven years in, some of them have found that. But it's shocking to me always that people like you are single and that like you don't have people knocking down your door.
00:03:04
Speaker 2: I don't get it. I really don't understand it.
00:03:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't know. I just feel like the like dating today is just like awful, and so I kind of I wouldn't say give up, Like that's not the right word, because like I'm still very open like if someone like I've gone on random dates, but I feel like, I don't know, it's just like my generation of dating is just like insane.
00:03:26
Speaker 2: What are you running into?
00:03:28
Speaker 3: Well, I live in Nashville, Yeah, and the dating scene there is horrific, Like I feel like, Okay, the way I explain it is Nashville obviously a ton of people come and visit, like every single weekend there's a new and like girls come and they're like their best you know what I'm saying, like they have the new clothes and the out and like people are going there and like whatever. So the men that live there, I feel like they have like just this constant flow of like women coming in. So a lot of guys there are not wanting to like settle down where they're like very much just like having fun in there, like you know, going out and doing all that stuff. So I feel like because of that, it's really really hard to find someone who's like genuinely looking to settle down in Nashville.
00:04:13
Speaker 1: Does that make sense, Yeah, it does make sense. I want to I just kind of want to talk to you like a friend, Okay for a second. Yeah, Like do you feel like the like it's kind of the grass is greener? Like you're beautiful, you're sweet, you're kind, you're joyful. Like if the right guy who's really wanting to find like a companion and a person to share life with.
00:04:34
Speaker 2: Mm hm, who's serious about that would look at you?
00:04:37
Speaker 1: I think on any day be like goodness, I'm lucky, like I I found it. Yeah, but I do think you're you're touching something that so many people are feeling there are living in these cities that are transient and focused around the bachelor parties and the Bachelorette parties and the scenes downtown. That it's not like guys are looking at you and be like, yeah, I'm not interested. It's just that they're they're not slowing down for a second to think, Wait, I might have found the person I could be with, because tomorrow night I'm having fun going back out to some pool party and I'm going to be with this new girl. Yeah, and I do think I'm running into that as I talk to my friends about dating. It's it's just just like inability to just say life needs to slow down so I can commit to something.
00:05:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, for sure. I definitely think that's like one of our biggest like downfalls in my generation in dating is like it's just like the fast life and especially social media and dating apps. Like I think it literally has which dating apps like they're amazing. I know, like people have met people and whatever. But I feel like because of that, it's just yeah, you just you just are fast like all the time, like there's something new to look forward to, and a lot of people don't like slow down and be like okay, wait, like you're amazing, Like I you know, like, let's like see this out. It's hard.
00:05:50
Speaker 1: You kind of want to, like for me, and I've been in that world. I mean I have, I've I've come off the show and we you know, I had the breakup and dated and it was fun and is it. It was exciting. And I remember telling my wife this right before we got married. So excited to marry my wife. But I was like, it's going to be really weird for me. I've always been known as a bachelor. Yeah, it's going to be really weird to like identity shift. And so now that I'm on the other side of that years later, you almost just want to shake people and be like it's so much better on the other side, Like this sounds fun, it sounds exciting. You're gonna hit thirty five, it's going to be exhausting. Yeah, you don't want to leave your house, Like, it's so much better to have your partner there with you to build this life together. And I wish I would have done it ten years ago with her. I mean, we're just so new to it, back to the game because we do have some things to get to know you and kind of still try to figure out what this is going to look like, and who we're going to set you up with.
00:06:49
Speaker 2: We've already mentioned your.
00:06:50
Speaker 1: Name, your age yep, twenty seven, twenty seven years old. If you could describe your physical appearance for somebody listening, okay, could you describe it for us? Yes?
00:07:08
Speaker 2: I feel so creepy.
00:07:12
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't have dark hair, brown eyes, five to seven.
00:07:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
00:07:23
Speaker 3: I feel like I've never.
00:07:24
Speaker 2: Been asked what's your shoe size?
00:07:26
Speaker 3: Size nine? I got skis for feet, some big feet on that beautiful feet.
00:07:33
Speaker 2: I just want to be clear.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: If you look back now, obviously we know you from the show, and we're soon going to know you from a new show, this show. What's the best thing that happened to you from being on the show. We've already talked about in the past. Your friendships. Hm, So I'm actually gonna take that out of play here. Okay, you can't mention the other girls.
00:08:04
Speaker 3: Okay. The best thing that came out of it honestly putting myself like outside of my comfort zone. I feel like I'm kind of I mean, I always say I'm shy, and then people are like, what, Like, You're literally not shy, But I feel like I am kind of shy and going on the Bachelor and like doing these podcasts and all this stuff, Like it really pushes me outside of my comfort zone. So I think that's like the best thing that's come out of it, outside of the friendships. But like it really has pushed me. And honestly, like my relationship, like I've really had to like lean on God a lot too, so I feel like my relationship there has grown. So I don't know, just like growing as a person. I feel like the whole Bachelor everything, like it really pushed me to get outside and learn more about myself and just be better and learn things.
00:08:51
Speaker 1: I'm really interested in this. So going before you went on the show, could you describe yourself then?
00:08:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was. I mean I was always like in like the in the mix of people, right, Like I was never like a homebody, Like I love being a home but like I was always like going on and doing stuff. But I was always just like kind of like in my shell. Like I had my few people that I was like comfortable with and I would be like completely me, but then like talking a random people, I'd be like, oh my gosh, like hi, like and I would just get so in my head, and then I'd be like, oh my gosh, I didn't say enough or like all this stuff, and like now I don't really have that, And I feel like it's because I've talked to so many people that I've never met before and I had to like have a conversation with them and like hold a conversation. So yeah, I feel like I was just a little more quiet before the show.
00:09:42
Speaker 2: I can relate with this.
00:09:44
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're like me, but there was many of nights that even last night was a night and it's been a while for me. When I'm in social situations, I'll go to bed and lights would turn off. I'll be laying on my pillow and I'll run back through every conversation I had in that day and if I made somebody feel, if I said something that came off wrong and maybe didn't have a chance to clarify it, or if I said something that was hurtful, or if I embarrassed myself.
00:10:13
Speaker 2: And I used to do that.
00:10:15
Speaker 1: Before the show specific especially every night.
00:10:19
Speaker 2: Of my life.
00:10:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it would it would wreck me to where I became anti social because I was so much living in my own head.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: Can you relate with.
00:10:28
Speaker 3: That, yes, very much.
00:10:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the show kind of does push you. I think it's because you kind of like dive in head first, ye to a world where you're dealing with so many people that you just kind of have to say, like I don't know really what I'm going to say, but whatever I say, I'm sure, well we can clear it up at some point. Yeah, And it does.
00:10:48
Speaker 2: But it makes it really hard to date.
00:10:52
Speaker 1: Because you're trying to be intentional, you're trying to be intimate, you're trying to be vulnerable during these dates. You don't know how much you say or or how little to say. And so I for a large period of my life I personally stop dating. Not because I wasn't interested in like the idea of it, yeah, but because I was so insecure or I had lacked so much confidence in myself too doing Yeah, do you.
00:11:17
Speaker 3: Relate kinda Yeah, I feel like I always so. I was actually talking to my best friend the other day and I was like, because we were just talking because we're both single and we're twenty seven whatever, and I was like, I feel like I have like one more heartbreak, Like I like, I don't know why I feel that way, but like, I feel like I have one more heartbreak to Like I was like, I feel like I still have like things to learn about myself in relationships and stuff. She's like, that's so crazy, and I was like, no, but I really do because I think, yeah, I not. I wouldn't say it insecurity, but I do think there's things I need to grow in to, like fully like be in a relationship where it's like this is like endgame, you know, Like I think, you know, and I do therapy and all that stuff, but yeah, I don't know. I feel like, yeah, definitely, I feel like the whole taking a break in dating, there's definitely a reason behind it. I just haven't like truly figured it out yet.
00:12:09
Speaker 1: We're gonna get you back in the dating. I'm assuming you've had a serious relationship before in the past. When I say serious relationship, I'm sure there's somebody that comes to mind. Yeah, can you describe that relationship to whatever depth you want?
00:12:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a COVID relationship, So I feel like those are like a little weird in the beginning because you know, you were stuck in I was stuck in a house with him, right, And I always think I'm like, if it wasn't COVID, would we have dated because we would have been going out and meeting new people and doing all these things. But because it was COVID, it was like, okay, like we're locked in. I like you, you like me, Like, let's just write this whole COVID thing out. And I did love him. We dated for a year and a half and then yeah, we broke up when was it, like February, And it was not a great breakup and there's still like a lot of I don't have hate towards him, but he, like, I don't know, just not a great breakup. And so I feel like that kind of turned me off from dating too, because I was like, literally that breakup it felt like I was like dying like that heartbreak, Like I was literally like heartbroken. I wasn't eating, like I couldn't sleep. It was like a whole thing. And I was like, I never want to feel that again, Like I literally never want to feel that again. So that could maybe be a reason why I stopped dating too.
00:13:31
Speaker 2: Have breakups always been really hard for you?
00:13:35
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I feel like I get like attached to and like because breakups you're like losing someone you know, like especially like being with them day in day out, like sharing everything with them, you know, like your life is meshed together, and then yeah, you just one day there it's just not that anymore, which is like really hard for me to like, yeah, grasp kinda. So I feel like, yeah, I take a breakup's pretty hard.
00:13:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I really disliked that.
00:14:02
Speaker 3: No, they're literally the worst. I'm like, I wouldn't never wish this upon anyone.
00:14:05
Speaker 1: No, But they teach you a lot too, they do, And I think one of the most beautiful things looking back at all of this experience is the things you learn from these serious relationships, and especially when they end, you get some clarity on the other side.
00:14:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:14:19
Speaker 1: So with the serious relationships that you've had, the breakups that you've had, the people.
00:14:22
Speaker 2: That you've been on to meet.
00:14:24
Speaker 1: The final question about you personally, if you give me three requirements for your significant other based on what you've learned so far at this point in your life, what are you looking for?
00:14:36
Speaker 3: Definitely someone who's family oriented. It's like my biggest thing because I'm like, I mean, I have a four ye old brother and a twelve year old brother, Like I need someone who can like be around family and enjoy family time. I think that's my biggest thing. And I grew up with a family that you know, we had Sunday lunch every Sunday together after church, so definitely family oriented. I would say religious is definitely a big one for me, or open to it or like, you know, my third one hmmm, I don't know. Probably someone who just is just like genuine, Like I just want someone who like, like, I love volunteering, and I want someone that's like, yeah, like, it's a Sunday afternoon, let's go under. I do this thing called under the Bridge on Sundays, and it's like the best thing ever. It's like with homeless people, but like someone who like would want to do that like with me. So I feel like just someone who's genuine and.
00:15:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, this isn't a part of our plan. But I do think you get to know a lot about somebody by their passions, know what you spend your time doing, Explain more of why you chose under the Bridge as your volunteer shoot.
00:15:52
Speaker 3: So I got involved with it at my church. I go to cross Point in Nashville, and basically under the Bridge Ministry we go. Oh, it's like under the bridge and like the homeless people used to live there but they can't anymore. So that's like where we meet. But we go and we always do music, we worship together, and these people are literally like the best people ever, And like, I don't know, I fell in love with it because these people are like obviously don't have a lot, right, but they're so happy and they're just so grateful that like we put this on and we worship and there's like always like a pastor that comes in and does a sermon. Then we feed them food and then if it's cold, we'll give them blankets or socks or like whatever they need. So yeah, I just feel like being around those people is really like it makes my heart so happy because seeing how happy they are and how little they have, like it's like very eye opening, right because I think sometimes especially like in this life, you can kind of get caught not caught up in things, but just like care about that doesn't matter, right, And it's like you take a step back and you're like, oh my gosh, what matters is like having a roof over your head, like loving people, having a good relationship with God and like I don't know, it's just I love, love, love love under the Bridge. It's really like changed my heart And Yeah.
00:17:18
Speaker 1: It also is very antithetical to the fast pace that we're talking about the beginning of this of the Nashville scene or any of these cities scenes with the dating, Yeah, and the kind of the flash and the pan nights out like moments like this on a Sunday. I'm sure under the Bridge it slows life down to where perspective is like reintroduced to what life is really like for so many people. Yeah, and allows.
00:17:42
Speaker 2: You an appreciation. And here's the cool part.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: You get to be where your feet are, Like you're not thinking about a thousand other things. Yeah, you're not looking around being like you know, how how do I gain followers from this?
00:17:55
Speaker 2: Ye?
00:17:55
Speaker 1: You're just in that moment. And I think that's such an like that is those moments are beautiful because you're doing it for somebody else. But I also think we just can't skip over that here, because it's why you have the perspective of I want to find somebody, I want to be intentional, I want to commit to somebody, because you've taken time out of your life to do that yeah. I think it's taught you more than probably you even know, or that any of us could even point to. We're gonna rapid fire kind of some like really tough dating questions. I'm scared I might get creepy again. I don't know, but I'm going to kind of fire him at you spend as much time on them as you want. They're just to get to know you better, to get to know what you're looking for a little bit more. Are you willing to be the primary breadwinner?
00:18:54
Speaker 3: Oh god, I feel like be honest, be honest.
00:18:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you can't go dating in line, that's brutal.
00:19:06
Speaker 3: No, I don't want to be the bread winner.
00:19:08
Speaker 2: Do you want to be a stay at home mom?
00:19:10
Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, it's like my dream. Like.
00:19:12
Speaker 1: I like how Trista categorizes that. I think it's a beautiful because I've seen my wife do this. She calls she calls herself the household manager. Yes, which I think is such like a It's a perfect description for a stay at home mom. You're not just like a stay at home mom, No, you're yeah, you're like managing a household.
00:19:30
Speaker 3: Yes, No, being a stay at home mom is like it's a lot of work. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, he's my only job.
00:19:38
Speaker 2: Would you date someone that your family does not like?
00:19:41
Speaker 3: No? Ah, it depends, it depends, it depends, like, but probably.
00:19:48
Speaker 1: Not no, because I feel what would be that, Like, give me a scenario here.
00:19:52
Speaker 3: I mean, if it's like over something stupid, like if it's like, oh, I don't like the way he dresses or like, I'd be like okay, like doesn't matter. But if it was like genuinely like no, he treats like I don't like the way he treats you, then I feel like I would take that and be like okay, like let me take a look at this. But if it was like over something dumb, I wouldn't be like it's fine, that's fair.
00:20:13
Speaker 1: Family can be tough. Yes, yeah, my daughter will never date. I'm not gonna like anybody describe the like the physical, like when you think about your perfect person to date, like they're walking into the beach in Tahoe, okay, shirtless, shirtless?
00:20:31
Speaker 3: What I like tall, I like dark hair, I like dark features. And then I smile. Yeah, I feel like the smiles like the biggest thing. I look at good teeth.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: They can they can wrap you up. If they just give you that little grin, right, I get it, and I get it. If you meet someone and they want to date other people until you, guys, make it official. So if you're on your first date and they're like, hey, we're going to define the relationship. You and I are just like getting to know each other here. But you know, if you see me tomorrow night out in Nashville with somebody else, don't be mad?
00:21:14
Speaker 2: Are you cool with that?
00:21:15
Speaker 3: No? No, I would literally would. I would crash out like no, you're going to respect me? Thank you?
00:21:25
Speaker 2: Just to make things less awkward here.
00:21:27
Speaker 1: I cannot be included in the next two questions, Okay, can't even think about it.
00:21:31
Speaker 2: Okay. The question is of all the bachelors.
00:21:34
Speaker 1: Since the beginning, who is the most handsome in your opinion?
00:21:38
Speaker 3: Oh? Geez, the most handsome? I don't know. Why do I want to say Jesse? I think Jesse is so cute.
00:21:52
Speaker 2: How can you not think Jesse and his.
00:21:54
Speaker 3: Personality is so great? Okay, I'm going with Jesse.
00:21:56
Speaker 2: He's like six.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: Four pounds, solid, jawlne NFL foot ball player, your perfect male. I watch him on TV at times and like goodness.
00:22:09
Speaker 3: And in person, I'm like, I'm like, how are you like? He literally looks like perfect. I'm like, yeah, it's crazy.
00:22:14
Speaker 2: I'm with you.
00:22:15
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So now you can't have Jesse or myself. Of all the Bachelor's, who do you think was the greatest guy? Like, if we're taking physical appearance out of it, matching what you're looking for in a personality, who would be the greatest guy?
00:22:32
Speaker 3: Oh? I don't know.
00:22:36
Speaker 2: I mean they all haven't sucked that bad.
00:22:38
Speaker 3: No, No, I'm trying to like think of people the great like personality. Yeah, I honestly didn't. You've really watched The Bachelor before? Though.
00:22:49
Speaker 1: We do have Bob Guinea with us right now at the Verbo hilarious.
00:22:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love him.
00:22:54
Speaker 2: I think Bob would love a shout out.
00:22:56
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, all right, we're going with Bob.
00:22:57
Speaker 1: I mean, Bob has Bob has of the best personalities anybody.
00:23:01
Speaker 2: I've ever met.
00:23:02
Speaker 1: He's so funny, he's so funny, He's very sweet. Yeah, he's a very very very handsome man is himself.
00:23:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, Bob.
00:23:10
Speaker 1: A couple more questions here. How do you feel about being set up?
00:23:18
Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm down to try anything at this point. So I feel like I'm okay with being set up.
00:23:24
Speaker 1: And do you believe you can be in love with two people at one time?
00:23:28
Speaker 3: Oh? No, no?
00:23:32
Speaker 2: Okay?
00:23:34
Speaker 1: Uh would you kiss on the first date?
00:23:37
Speaker 3: Mmmm? Yeah kiss only?
00:23:40
Speaker 2: Kiss only?
00:23:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would do that. I think that's fine.
00:23:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm no judgment.
00:23:46
Speaker 3: I think it's good.
00:23:48
Speaker 2: Kiss. Okay.
00:23:53
Speaker 1: Final question for you, Okay, what is your goal? From famously Available?
00:24:01
Speaker 3: My goal is to learn more about myself obviously in dating, because I feel like I've like definitely pushed it off to the side and I'm definitely ready to get into the dating scene again. So I feel like, yeah, learning more about myself in that way and then hopefully meeting someone.
00:24:20
Speaker 1: Never know, I meant what I said, like, no matter where this spits us out, somebody's gonna be very lucky they are.
00:24:28
Speaker 2: I don't know when.
00:24:30
Speaker 1: I hope you don't have another heartbreak in front of you, but if you do, well, you get through it. I had a really bad heartbreak right before I.
00:24:38
Speaker 2: Found my wife.
00:24:39
Speaker 1: Really yeah, I dated somebody kind of in between for a period of time. They just weren't the right person, and it hurt really bad. I think it hurt us both really bad. And then my wife came in like a month later to my life and I learned so much, and like at the time, I felt like nothing was ever gonna work. And then as I started dating my wife, I was like, I know why, you know all this happened, but somebody's gonna be very lucky. I can't wait to just see where this goes and to hear about your experiences and then also to follow your story going forward. I think years from now we're going to be sitting here being like, how cool is this?
00:25:18
Speaker 2: You found it?
00:25:18
Speaker 1: So, if any guys are out there listening, or any girls with brothers, cousins, friends, family members, Mercedes is a catch.
00:25:27
Speaker 2: We're lucky to have her. Thanks for coming on, Thank you.
00:25:29
Speaker 3: I had fun.
Speaker 1: iHeart podcasts, bring you the ultimate Summer of love tree. This is Famously Available. It's been and I'm back with another episode of our new favorite show, Famously Available. Well, I do a deeper dive and try to kind of play matchmaker for some great, absolutely fantastic eligible single women. But before we start sending them on dates, I gotta get to know them so well. I want to know what they're looking for today. I'm joined by how I describe it, a cloud of joy. I don't know if cloud actually works there, but a bundle of joy, A bright light in our Bachelor World contestant from Zach Season and Bachelor and Paradise contestant Mercedes Northup.
00:00:47
Speaker 2: Thanks for being back with us.
00:00:48
Speaker 3: Yes, I'm excited.
00:00:50
Speaker 1: We're podcasting today from the Verbo Summerhouse in Lake Tahoe.
00:00:55
Speaker 2: Mercedes's beautiful.
00:00:56
Speaker 3: Oh it's stunning here. This is my first time here. I love it.
00:01:00
Speaker 1: It's incredible. It's an amazing place to vacation, to hang out. Verbo offers last minute deals for private vacation rentals.
00:01:09
Speaker 2: Did you know that? It's pretty exciting.
00:01:12
Speaker 1: On the Verbo app and website, you can get last minute deals that are showing travelers nearly three hundred thousand discount of properties. They can do this in book within thirty days of check in some amazing places like Tahoe obviously, Hilton Head, South Carolina, Cape Cod, Massachusetts, San Diego, Portavarda. And I think today we're having this wonderful conversation about future love that I believe we're going to find you, Mercedes, in the most beautiful house, in the most beautiful setting I've been in in a long time. Mercedes, Yes, play little game today with you. Okay, ready, You're going to answer these questions for yourself, not for your future.
00:01:55
Speaker 2: Guy pal.
00:01:58
Speaker 1: Obviously, we talked about you being on Zaz season. That's how we know you were on Bachelor in Paradise. Yep, you are still single. When we caught up last time, kind of about dating. Dating was a little bit slow.
00:02:11
Speaker 3: Yep, very still slow.
00:02:14
Speaker 2: It's kind of shocking to me.
00:02:15
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's I'll be honest, it's very confusing. So at Generous Coffee, the company operate. We just not on purpose or for whatever reason. We just hired a bunch of like really great twenty five to thirty year old like women. At the beginning, there were people I knew or friends of friends or you know, daughters of friends of my families.
00:02:40
Speaker 2: And all of these women were single.
00:02:43
Speaker 1: And I've sat with him so many times in the midst of these conversations about future love and wanting to find a partner, and now, you know, seven years in, some of them have found that. But it's shocking to me always that people like you are single and that like you don't have people knocking down your door.
00:03:04
Speaker 2: I don't get it. I really don't understand it.
00:03:07
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, I mean I don't know. I just feel like the like dating today is just like awful, and so I kind of I wouldn't say give up, Like that's not the right word, because like I'm still very open like if someone like I've gone on random dates, but I feel like, I don't know, it's just like my generation of dating is just like insane.
00:03:26
Speaker 2: What are you running into?
00:03:28
Speaker 3: Well, I live in Nashville, Yeah, and the dating scene there is horrific, Like I feel like, Okay, the way I explain it is Nashville obviously a ton of people come and visit, like every single weekend there's a new and like girls come and they're like their best you know what I'm saying, like they have the new clothes and the out and like people are going there and like whatever. So the men that live there, I feel like they have like just this constant flow of like women coming in. So a lot of guys there are not wanting to like settle down where they're like very much just like having fun in there, like you know, going out and doing all that stuff. So I feel like because of that, it's really really hard to find someone who's like genuinely looking to settle down in Nashville.
00:04:13
Speaker 1: Does that make sense, Yeah, it does make sense. I want to I just kind of want to talk to you like a friend, Okay for a second. Yeah, Like do you feel like the like it's kind of the grass is greener? Like you're beautiful, you're sweet, you're kind, you're joyful. Like if the right guy who's really wanting to find like a companion and a person to share life with.
00:04:34
Speaker 2: Mm hm, who's serious about that would look at you?
00:04:37
Speaker 1: I think on any day be like goodness, I'm lucky, like I I found it. Yeah, but I do think you're you're touching something that so many people are feeling there are living in these cities that are transient and focused around the bachelor parties and the Bachelorette parties and the scenes downtown. That it's not like guys are looking at you and be like, yeah, I'm not interested. It's just that they're they're not slowing down for a second to think, Wait, I might have found the person I could be with, because tomorrow night I'm having fun going back out to some pool party and I'm going to be with this new girl. Yeah, and I do think I'm running into that as I talk to my friends about dating. It's it's just just like inability to just say life needs to slow down so I can commit to something.
00:05:18
Speaker 3: Yeah, no, for sure. I definitely think that's like one of our biggest like downfalls in my generation in dating is like it's just like the fast life and especially social media and dating apps. Like I think it literally has which dating apps like they're amazing. I know, like people have met people and whatever. But I feel like because of that, it's just yeah, you just you just are fast like all the time, like there's something new to look forward to, and a lot of people don't like slow down and be like okay, wait, like you're amazing, Like I you know, like, let's like see this out. It's hard.
00:05:50
Speaker 1: You kind of want to, like for me, and I've been in that world. I mean I have, I've I've come off the show and we you know, I had the breakup and dated and it was fun and is it. It was exciting. And I remember telling my wife this right before we got married. So excited to marry my wife. But I was like, it's going to be really weird for me. I've always been known as a bachelor. Yeah, it's going to be really weird to like identity shift. And so now that I'm on the other side of that years later, you almost just want to shake people and be like it's so much better on the other side, Like this sounds fun, it sounds exciting. You're gonna hit thirty five, it's going to be exhausting. Yeah, you don't want to leave your house, Like, it's so much better to have your partner there with you to build this life together. And I wish I would have done it ten years ago with her. I mean, we're just so new to it, back to the game because we do have some things to get to know you and kind of still try to figure out what this is going to look like, and who we're going to set you up with.
00:06:49
Speaker 2: We've already mentioned your.
00:06:50
Speaker 1: Name, your age yep, twenty seven, twenty seven years old. If you could describe your physical appearance for somebody listening, okay, could you describe it for us? Yes?
00:07:08
Speaker 2: I feel so creepy.
00:07:12
Speaker 3: Okay, I don't have dark hair, brown eyes, five to seven.
00:07:20
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I don't know.
00:07:23
Speaker 3: I feel like I've never.
00:07:24
Speaker 2: Been asked what's your shoe size?
00:07:26
Speaker 3: Size nine? I got skis for feet, some big feet on that beautiful feet.
00:07:33
Speaker 2: I just want to be clear.
00:07:47
Speaker 1: If you look back now, obviously we know you from the show, and we're soon going to know you from a new show, this show. What's the best thing that happened to you from being on the show. We've already talked about in the past. Your friendships. Hm, So I'm actually gonna take that out of play here. Okay, you can't mention the other girls.
00:08:04
Speaker 3: Okay. The best thing that came out of it honestly putting myself like outside of my comfort zone. I feel like I'm kind of I mean, I always say I'm shy, and then people are like, what, Like, You're literally not shy, But I feel like I am kind of shy and going on the Bachelor and like doing these podcasts and all this stuff, Like it really pushes me outside of my comfort zone. So I think that's like the best thing that's come out of it, outside of the friendships. But like it really has pushed me. And honestly, like my relationship, like I've really had to like lean on God a lot too, so I feel like my relationship there has grown. So I don't know, just like growing as a person. I feel like the whole Bachelor everything, like it really pushed me to get outside and learn more about myself and just be better and learn things.
00:08:51
Speaker 1: I'm really interested in this. So going before you went on the show, could you describe yourself then?
00:08:57
Speaker 3: Yeah, I was. I mean I was always like in like the in the mix of people, right, Like I was never like a homebody, Like I love being a home but like I was always like going on and doing stuff. But I was always just like kind of like in my shell. Like I had my few people that I was like comfortable with and I would be like completely me, but then like talking a random people, I'd be like, oh my gosh, like hi, like and I would just get so in my head, and then I'd be like, oh my gosh, I didn't say enough or like all this stuff, and like now I don't really have that, And I feel like it's because I've talked to so many people that I've never met before and I had to like have a conversation with them and like hold a conversation. So yeah, I feel like I was just a little more quiet before the show.
00:09:42
Speaker 2: I can relate with this.
00:09:44
Speaker 1: I don't know if you're like me, but there was many of nights that even last night was a night and it's been a while for me. When I'm in social situations, I'll go to bed and lights would turn off. I'll be laying on my pillow and I'll run back through every conversation I had in that day and if I made somebody feel, if I said something that came off wrong and maybe didn't have a chance to clarify it, or if I said something that was hurtful, or if I embarrassed myself.
00:10:13
Speaker 2: And I used to do that.
00:10:15
Speaker 1: Before the show specific especially every night.
00:10:19
Speaker 2: Of my life.
00:10:20
Speaker 1: Yeah, and it would it would wreck me to where I became anti social because I was so much living in my own head.
00:10:27
Speaker 2: Can you relate with.
00:10:28
Speaker 3: That, yes, very much.
00:10:29
Speaker 1: Yeah, and the show kind of does push you. I think it's because you kind of like dive in head first, ye to a world where you're dealing with so many people that you just kind of have to say, like I don't know really what I'm going to say, but whatever I say, I'm sure, well we can clear it up at some point. Yeah, And it does.
00:10:48
Speaker 2: But it makes it really hard to date.
00:10:52
Speaker 1: Because you're trying to be intentional, you're trying to be intimate, you're trying to be vulnerable during these dates. You don't know how much you say or or how little to say. And so I for a large period of my life I personally stop dating. Not because I wasn't interested in like the idea of it, yeah, but because I was so insecure or I had lacked so much confidence in myself too doing Yeah, do you.
00:11:17
Speaker 3: Relate kinda Yeah, I feel like I always so. I was actually talking to my best friend the other day and I was like, because we were just talking because we're both single and we're twenty seven whatever, and I was like, I feel like I have like one more heartbreak, Like I like, I don't know why I feel that way, but like, I feel like I have one more heartbreak to Like I was like, I feel like I still have like things to learn about myself in relationships and stuff. She's like, that's so crazy, and I was like, no, but I really do because I think, yeah, I not. I wouldn't say it insecurity, but I do think there's things I need to grow in to, like fully like be in a relationship where it's like this is like endgame, you know, Like I think, you know, and I do therapy and all that stuff, but yeah, I don't know. I feel like, yeah, definitely, I feel like the whole taking a break in dating, there's definitely a reason behind it. I just haven't like truly figured it out yet.
00:12:09
Speaker 1: We're gonna get you back in the dating. I'm assuming you've had a serious relationship before in the past. When I say serious relationship, I'm sure there's somebody that comes to mind. Yeah, can you describe that relationship to whatever depth you want?
00:12:24
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a COVID relationship, So I feel like those are like a little weird in the beginning because you know, you were stuck in I was stuck in a house with him, right, And I always think I'm like, if it wasn't COVID, would we have dated because we would have been going out and meeting new people and doing all these things. But because it was COVID, it was like, okay, like we're locked in. I like you, you like me, Like, let's just write this whole COVID thing out. And I did love him. We dated for a year and a half and then yeah, we broke up when was it, like February, And it was not a great breakup and there's still like a lot of I don't have hate towards him, but he, like, I don't know, just not a great breakup. And so I feel like that kind of turned me off from dating too, because I was like, literally that breakup it felt like I was like dying like that heartbreak, Like I was literally like heartbroken. I wasn't eating, like I couldn't sleep. It was like a whole thing. And I was like, I never want to feel that again, Like I literally never want to feel that again. So that could maybe be a reason why I stopped dating too.
00:13:31
Speaker 2: Have breakups always been really hard for you?
00:13:35
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I feel like I get like attached to and like because breakups you're like losing someone you know, like especially like being with them day in day out, like sharing everything with them, you know, like your life is meshed together, and then yeah, you just one day there it's just not that anymore, which is like really hard for me to like, yeah, grasp kinda. So I feel like, yeah, I take a breakup's pretty hard.
00:13:59
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I really disliked that.
00:14:02
Speaker 3: No, they're literally the worst. I'm like, I wouldn't never wish this upon anyone.
00:14:05
Speaker 1: No, But they teach you a lot too, they do, And I think one of the most beautiful things looking back at all of this experience is the things you learn from these serious relationships, and especially when they end, you get some clarity on the other side.
00:14:19
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:14:19
Speaker 1: So with the serious relationships that you've had, the breakups that you've had, the people.
00:14:22
Speaker 2: That you've been on to meet.
00:14:24
Speaker 1: The final question about you personally, if you give me three requirements for your significant other based on what you've learned so far at this point in your life, what are you looking for?
00:14:36
Speaker 3: Definitely someone who's family oriented. It's like my biggest thing because I'm like, I mean, I have a four ye old brother and a twelve year old brother, Like I need someone who can like be around family and enjoy family time. I think that's my biggest thing. And I grew up with a family that you know, we had Sunday lunch every Sunday together after church, so definitely family oriented. I would say religious is definitely a big one for me, or open to it or like, you know, my third one hmmm, I don't know. Probably someone who just is just like genuine, Like I just want someone who like, like, I love volunteering, and I want someone that's like, yeah, like, it's a Sunday afternoon, let's go under. I do this thing called under the Bridge on Sundays, and it's like the best thing ever. It's like with homeless people, but like someone who like would want to do that like with me. So I feel like just someone who's genuine and.
00:15:35
Speaker 1: Yeah, Okay, this isn't a part of our plan. But I do think you get to know a lot about somebody by their passions, know what you spend your time doing, Explain more of why you chose under the Bridge as your volunteer shoot.
00:15:52
Speaker 3: So I got involved with it at my church. I go to cross Point in Nashville, and basically under the Bridge Ministry we go. Oh, it's like under the bridge and like the homeless people used to live there but they can't anymore. So that's like where we meet. But we go and we always do music, we worship together, and these people are literally like the best people ever, And like, I don't know, I fell in love with it because these people are like obviously don't have a lot, right, but they're so happy and they're just so grateful that like we put this on and we worship and there's like always like a pastor that comes in and does a sermon. Then we feed them food and then if it's cold, we'll give them blankets or socks or like whatever they need. So yeah, I just feel like being around those people is really like it makes my heart so happy because seeing how happy they are and how little they have, like it's like very eye opening, right because I think sometimes especially like in this life, you can kind of get caught not caught up in things, but just like care about that doesn't matter, right, And it's like you take a step back and you're like, oh my gosh, what matters is like having a roof over your head, like loving people, having a good relationship with God and like I don't know, it's just I love, love, love love under the Bridge. It's really like changed my heart And Yeah.
00:17:18
Speaker 1: It also is very antithetical to the fast pace that we're talking about the beginning of this of the Nashville scene or any of these cities scenes with the dating, Yeah, and the kind of the flash and the pan nights out like moments like this on a Sunday. I'm sure under the Bridge it slows life down to where perspective is like reintroduced to what life is really like for so many people. Yeah, and allows.
00:17:42
Speaker 2: You an appreciation. And here's the cool part.
00:17:46
Speaker 1: You get to be where your feet are, Like you're not thinking about a thousand other things. Yeah, you're not looking around being like you know, how how do I gain followers from this?
00:17:55
Speaker 2: Ye?
00:17:55
Speaker 1: You're just in that moment. And I think that's such an like that is those moments are beautiful because you're doing it for somebody else. But I also think we just can't skip over that here, because it's why you have the perspective of I want to find somebody, I want to be intentional, I want to commit to somebody, because you've taken time out of your life to do that yeah. I think it's taught you more than probably you even know, or that any of us could even point to. We're gonna rapid fire kind of some like really tough dating questions. I'm scared I might get creepy again. I don't know, but I'm going to kind of fire him at you spend as much time on them as you want. They're just to get to know you better, to get to know what you're looking for a little bit more. Are you willing to be the primary breadwinner?
00:18:54
Speaker 3: Oh god, I feel like be honest, be honest.
00:18:58
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean you can't go dating in line, that's brutal.
00:19:06
Speaker 3: No, I don't want to be the bread winner.
00:19:08
Speaker 2: Do you want to be a stay at home mom?
00:19:10
Speaker 3: Yes, Okay, it's like my dream. Like.
00:19:12
Speaker 1: I like how Trista categorizes that. I think it's a beautiful because I've seen my wife do this. She calls she calls herself the household manager. Yes, which I think is such like a It's a perfect description for a stay at home mom. You're not just like a stay at home mom, No, you're yeah, you're like managing a household.
00:19:30
Speaker 3: Yes, No, being a stay at home mom is like it's a lot of work. Yeah, I'm like, yeah, he's my only job.
00:19:38
Speaker 2: Would you date someone that your family does not like?
00:19:41
Speaker 3: No? Ah, it depends, it depends, it depends, like, but probably.
00:19:48
Speaker 1: Not no, because I feel what would be that, Like, give me a scenario here.
00:19:52
Speaker 3: I mean, if it's like over something stupid, like if it's like, oh, I don't like the way he dresses or like, I'd be like okay, like doesn't matter. But if it was like genuinely like no, he treats like I don't like the way he treats you, then I feel like I would take that and be like okay, like let me take a look at this. But if it was like over something dumb, I wouldn't be like it's fine, that's fair.
00:20:13
Speaker 1: Family can be tough. Yes, yeah, my daughter will never date. I'm not gonna like anybody describe the like the physical, like when you think about your perfect person to date, like they're walking into the beach in Tahoe, okay, shirtless, shirtless?
00:20:31
Speaker 3: What I like tall, I like dark hair, I like dark features. And then I smile. Yeah, I feel like the smiles like the biggest thing. I look at good teeth.
00:20:48
Speaker 1: They can they can wrap you up. If they just give you that little grin, right, I get it, and I get it. If you meet someone and they want to date other people until you, guys, make it official. So if you're on your first date and they're like, hey, we're going to define the relationship. You and I are just like getting to know each other here. But you know, if you see me tomorrow night out in Nashville with somebody else, don't be mad?
00:21:14
Speaker 2: Are you cool with that?
00:21:15
Speaker 3: No? No, I would literally would. I would crash out like no, you're going to respect me? Thank you?
00:21:25
Speaker 2: Just to make things less awkward here.
00:21:27
Speaker 1: I cannot be included in the next two questions, Okay, can't even think about it.
00:21:31
Speaker 2: Okay. The question is of all the bachelors.
00:21:34
Speaker 1: Since the beginning, who is the most handsome in your opinion?
00:21:38
Speaker 3: Oh? Geez, the most handsome? I don't know. Why do I want to say Jesse? I think Jesse is so cute.
00:21:52
Speaker 2: How can you not think Jesse and his.
00:21:54
Speaker 3: Personality is so great? Okay, I'm going with Jesse.
00:21:56
Speaker 2: He's like six.
00:21:57
Speaker 1: Four pounds, solid, jawlne NFL foot ball player, your perfect male. I watch him on TV at times and like goodness.
00:22:09
Speaker 3: And in person, I'm like, I'm like, how are you like? He literally looks like perfect. I'm like, yeah, it's crazy.
00:22:14
Speaker 2: I'm with you.
00:22:15
Speaker 1: Okay, Okay, So now you can't have Jesse or myself. Of all the Bachelor's, who do you think was the greatest guy? Like, if we're taking physical appearance out of it, matching what you're looking for in a personality, who would be the greatest guy?
00:22:32
Speaker 3: Oh? I don't know.
00:22:36
Speaker 2: I mean they all haven't sucked that bad.
00:22:38
Speaker 3: No, No, I'm trying to like think of people the great like personality. Yeah, I honestly didn't. You've really watched The Bachelor before? Though.
00:22:49
Speaker 1: We do have Bob Guinea with us right now at the Verbo hilarious.
00:22:53
Speaker 3: Yeah, I love him.
00:22:54
Speaker 2: I think Bob would love a shout out.
00:22:56
Speaker 3: Okay, yeah, all right, we're going with Bob.
00:22:57
Speaker 1: I mean, Bob has Bob has of the best personalities anybody.
00:23:01
Speaker 2: I've ever met.
00:23:02
Speaker 1: He's so funny, he's so funny, He's very sweet. Yeah, he's a very very very handsome man is himself.
00:23:08
Speaker 3: Yeah, Okay, Bob.
00:23:10
Speaker 1: A couple more questions here. How do you feel about being set up?
00:23:18
Speaker 3: Honestly, I'm down to try anything at this point. So I feel like I'm okay with being set up.
00:23:24
Speaker 1: And do you believe you can be in love with two people at one time?
00:23:28
Speaker 3: Oh? No, no?
00:23:32
Speaker 2: Okay?
00:23:34
Speaker 1: Uh would you kiss on the first date?
00:23:37
Speaker 3: Mmmm? Yeah kiss only?
00:23:40
Speaker 2: Kiss only?
00:23:41
Speaker 3: Yeah, I would do that. I think that's fine.
00:23:44
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm no judgment.
00:23:46
Speaker 3: I think it's good.
00:23:48
Speaker 2: Kiss. Okay.
00:23:53
Speaker 1: Final question for you, Okay, what is your goal? From famously Available?
00:24:01
Speaker 3: My goal is to learn more about myself obviously in dating, because I feel like I've like definitely pushed it off to the side and I'm definitely ready to get into the dating scene again. So I feel like, yeah, learning more about myself in that way and then hopefully meeting someone.
00:24:20
Speaker 1: Never know, I meant what I said, like, no matter where this spits us out, somebody's gonna be very lucky they are.
00:24:28
Speaker 2: I don't know when.
00:24:30
Speaker 1: I hope you don't have another heartbreak in front of you, but if you do, well, you get through it. I had a really bad heartbreak right before I.
00:24:38
Speaker 2: Found my wife.
00:24:39
Speaker 1: Really yeah, I dated somebody kind of in between for a period of time. They just weren't the right person, and it hurt really bad. I think it hurt us both really bad. And then my wife came in like a month later to my life and I learned so much, and like at the time, I felt like nothing was ever gonna work. And then as I started dating my wife, I was like, I know why, you know all this happened, but somebody's gonna be very lucky. I can't wait to just see where this goes and to hear about your experiences and then also to follow your story going forward. I think years from now we're going to be sitting here being like, how cool is this?
00:25:18
Speaker 2: You found it?
00:25:18
Speaker 1: So, if any guys are out there listening, or any girls with brothers, cousins, friends, family members, Mercedes is a catch.
00:25:27
Speaker 2: We're lucky to have her. Thanks for coming on, Thank you.
00:25:29
Speaker 3: I had fun.