Dec. 21, 2025
Ben's “Spies” Dish All about Mercedes Date
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RSS Feed After talking to Mercedes blind date, it’s time for Ben to get the REAL scoop from his trusted spies, DeAnna and Kathy.
Kathy is giving the details on what happened after the concert and the sound advice she gave to Mercedes!
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
00:00:00
Speaker 1: iHeart podcasts. Bring you the ultimate Summer of love Tree. This is famously available. Hey, everybody's famously available. I have two famously available ladies co hosting with me today. They're amazing, They're fantastic. That's why they're famously available and doing this podcast with me. We're here today because they were some of the spies during Mercedes and Bryce's date at jingle Ball.
00:00:28
Speaker 2: Now I have already talked to Bryce.
00:00:33
Speaker 1: I really don't know any behind the scenes of this date, and so today I'm bringing Deanna and Kathy here on to really tell me about the date from their perspective, what they saw, what they.
00:00:47
Speaker 2: Know, what went good, will went bad?
00:00:49
Speaker 1: Catch us up. And here's the fun part about this show. I think we get mercedes perspective, we get Bryce's perspective, we also get spot perspectives, and so somewhere in the middle is going to be the truth. But everybody's truth counts. So all right, ladies, let's kick this off. Dean, I'm going to start with you tell us kind of I guess before I kind of talk about what Bryce took talked about. I would love to hear your conversations with Bryce and Mercedes before the date started, What were you excited about? What were you thinking could happen? Kind of that pre interview that you did that we can all listen to.
00:01:35
Speaker 3: Okay, I've actually been really looking forward to this. I joked with Bryce that he thought he was just going on a date with Mercedes, but truth be told, he was going on a date with Mercedes, Me, Kathy, like dozens of other people, you know what I mean. So I listen, thanks so much for letting me be a part of their initial like dating. I so so enjoyed getting to interview him and kind of lay up what he was walking into. And I don't know, Ben, but I kind of let Bryce have it. I didn't let him like, I didn't make it this like gentle, smooth transition for him. I kind of let him have it before he got to meet Mercedes, and I joked with him and I laughed a lot. I'm not sure Bryce thought I was as funny as I thought I was, But listen, I had a great time. But what I want to say is what a unique experience to be sitting in the room when Mercedes walked in and to have eyes on the two of them the very first time that they got to meet. It's like one of my favorite things about weddings too, you know what I mean when you see the bride walk up and you see the groom and he's crying and he's in love and he's you know, it was the same situation because I Mercedes and I rode to the studio together, so we had the opportunity to talk, and she was a little nervous and she was excited, and then she got to stand outside of the door and be there for the twenty minutes I got to interview Bryce, and probably her nerves and stuff were just adding up. And what a fun experience to see her come into the room because you know, you're expecting them to be like blown away, you know, Kathy, you know, because you got to see him too and take a look at him and see his looks, his physical appearance. But I think he was a good looking guy. And Mercedes, we know, is gorgeous. But how fun it was to sit in the room and kind of see her come in because there's a piece where she's trying to play it cool too. You know, she doesn't want to be like off the bat, like ooh he's ugly or oh damn, he's so hot, but she's playing it cool. But also she's super nervous and she's excited too, and he tried to claim he wasn't nervous, but like we all where, we all know.
00:03:48
Speaker 4: Well, I want to know what did you think when you saw her lay eyes on him? Because clearly you've got to see him first. So what was your take when you saw her meet? How did she look?
00:04:02
Speaker 3: I thought initially they were both trying to play it cool. And I think actually when we were recording, I made this little note because you could see the progression. As an outsider, you could see the progression as the interview went on, like they were a little too scared to make eye contacts. They didn't look at each other too much, but they both wanted to like check each other out. They wanted to look at their physical appearance. It is important to have that initial attraction. But as the interview went on, they started to look at each other a little longer, the eye contact was stronger, They started to comment on each other's physical appearance. I just was like, how cool to like sit in that situation and get to see the two of them really take each other in. And I think that initial traction was there that I think that, well, I don't think. Oh no, he found her attractive off the bat, like he made that perfectly clear. I heard him within the first couple of minutes say, wow, holy crap, like you're so my type. You are stunning, Like he was captivated with her physical appearance, because she's gorgeous obviously, but it was funny to see her too loosen up because she was nervous. Who wouldn't be. But it was fun to see her loosen up too because as someone who is available, Kathy, eye contact is very important to me, and I could see the two of them start to pay attention to each other a little bit more and hold eye contact a little bit more, and really actively listen to each other and try to comment on each other. It just was the nerves were off, and then you got to see the natural progression of what a date really looks like.
00:05:33
Speaker 1: Wow, Kathy, for you, you weren't there for that first moment, but we had talked with Mercedes before the date started, so you did have an idea of what she was wanting and expecting. Give us your kind of initial interpretation or feelings when you saw the two of them together for the first time.
00:05:56
Speaker 4: Okay, well that's where the humor began for me, because I kept trying to find them. I was up in the suite and I said, where's Mercedes. She just went downstairs. Literally we were when I was downstairs, she was upstairs. So finally I decided to stay put waited till they came in, and, of course, shy person that I am, I went right up to him and I said, so, I'm mercedes mother, and he kind of looked at me and I said, not really, but for tonight, yes I am. And so tell me about you.
00:06:28
Speaker 2: I mean.
00:06:28
Speaker 4: I started peppering them with questions and it was so funny. The first thing he said was, well, she's so beautiful, and I'm just I said, so, what are you looking for? And he said, well, I'm really just I'm looking for a beautiful woman. I said, oh, do you want to date me? And it just completely put him off, Like, you know, I'm just kidding. He said that It was interesting though, because anyone who knows me, I'm I go right in like, okay, I'm just gonna I'm the spy here, but I'm also you know, the attorney, the opposing council and I'm just going in. And so I asked him what he was looking for, and he said a beautiful woman, which you know doesn't really narrow the field, but as you said, Dianna, Mercedes is stunning. And then he said something about his parents had just moved to Florida from Kansas and they wanted him to get married and have a couple of kids, and he thought he should do that, but he didn't know how it was going to work out because she was in that because Mercedes lives in Nashville and he lives in California. So I said, as any logical person would, Oh, so you're not interested in dating someone long distance? Oh no, I'm open to that. I'm open to that.
00:07:43
Speaker 3: Uh.
00:07:43
Speaker 4: And so I said, oh, and he said, in fact, you know I'm going to I'm going to go to Nashville and see her. I you know, I'm going to go and see where this goes. So I'm thinking everybody's hitting it off until I talked to Mercedes.
00:07:58
Speaker 3: Listen, I think that we should start off by giving Bryce some credit. Okay, it is a lot to ask someone to go on a podcast, let alone television or anything else and put himself out there. So like, let's give him some credit. He went into this completely blind, and not only was he not just going on a date alone with Mercedes, he had to deal with everyone else involved.
00:08:22
Speaker 4: Like, you know, did he seem nervous because he didn't. To me, Diana, he didn't seem he seemed just go with the flow kind of guy.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: In the group setting. Once we got to the concert, I think he did a really great job. But I would say that when we interviewed him in the studio before he met Mercedes, he was he was a little nervous, Like he was like, Hey, I'm super confident. Well, I don't know if you have to say you're confident. I'm so sure you're super confident. But who would not be nervous. I am giving this young man some grace and listen when you hear the interview. I maybe I'm an asshole.
00:08:55
Speaker 4: I don't know.
00:08:56
Speaker 3: I really gave it to Bryce. I didn't let him cut any I didn't let him give me schmoozy answers. I really asked him some challenging things, and I made him laugh a little, trying to loosen him up. I think it only got awkward when I asked him about if he was going to kiss her that night, and then I told him when he did, it's only weird if I lean in too. So poor Bryce, Poor poor Bryce.
00:09:23
Speaker 1: You know, I think there's a few things I did just get to talk to Bryce.
00:09:27
Speaker 2: I do want to be clear here.
00:09:28
Speaker 1: We got to give him the benefit of the doubt, because it is a weird situation at every level. Yes, you're getting set up on a first date. That's weird. Yes, you know that at some level people are going to be listening to the details of this date depending on what they want to share.
00:09:43
Speaker 2: That's weird.
00:09:43
Speaker 1: The other one is he's walking in to a group of people that know each other or at least are familiar with each other, and you are the outsider, and everybody there knows that you're on a date with this incredible human who we all think is a massive catch for any man. So there's a lot going against you when you step into it.
00:10:05
Speaker 3: Then you're dismissing the whole part where he's looking at a bunch of people who were on television he has seen the show, like, you're dismissing the whole other piece of like he's walking into a celebrity filled event where there's a red carpet and you're being surrounded by a bunch of quote celebrities who have been on television, Like I can't imagine the level of pressure that he was feeling. And I thought he did an excellent job. I thought he did a great job.
00:10:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't see him nervous again. By the time I met him in the suite, he'd done the interview with you already, Deanna, the podcast, he'd already spent time with her.
00:10:41
Speaker 3: I got the pleasure of sitting behind them on the bus on the way to the concert. And we all know Los Angeles and Los Angeles traffic. What was nine miles took us an hour and a half to get there, And I got to sit behind them on the bus, you guys, with no one else around, And they were cute. They were talking to each other, they were talking about their families, they were pulling up their Instagram accounts. He was very attentive to her, and he was very complimentary. So if they don't get married in the end, okay. I thought it was a really great first date. I thought he was a great person to be set up with on a first date. I thought she handled it really well. Whether whether they're going to go on a second date or keep in touch. I thought it was a really great first date. She was cold. We were having to stand outside and wait on our uber, and she was really cold because she's wearing this beautiful cute dress with no sleeves on it. And he did not hesitate to take his jacket off and put it around her shoulders. You guys, those things are so important. He may not be the right person for her, but he was chivalrous. He was kind, he was complimentary. I think he was honest, and he was all about Mercedes that night. Not to mention, there were a ton of other hot girls in the room. He could have dismissed her and literally checked out any other girl in the room. He followed Mercedes around all night. He adored her, He found her beautiful, He was interested. I thought it was a fantastic first date for whom I think in general, it was a fantastic first date. Whether they see each other again, when we're looking in the grand scheme of first dates, it was better than mine.
00:12:26
Speaker 1: I got the question asked to me this week at an event. They said, Ben, I'm single, I don't want to meet somebody. What do you recommend, And I say, go on dates, like just do it, like they're not all going to be perfect. And I do think there is this scale for all of us when it comes to the first date that as long as nothing happened, that's that memorable. Really, I mean, that's kind of my standard is like, as long as nothing happened that that is that memorable and that hurt us, or there was something said where an argument got brought up in the first date, then that's a good first date. It might not mean that there's a second, but goodness, we'll say, hey, this this first date didn't hurt me on by going exactly.
00:13:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess. I guess we're arguing semantics here because to me, at my age, a good first date means I want to see the guy again. Otherwise it's a date. Yes, I had a date, But if I say to you, I had a really good first date, it means I want a second date. So I think it's just my interpretation. Sure.
00:13:26
Speaker 3: I think that's the beauty of this podcast too, is we've got three wonderful women who are available that view relationships and dating very differently at different stages in our lives. And I guess I appreciate that, Kathy, because I've kissed enough frogs to think, oh, well, at least there is still a kind human being out there. At least there is a guy who had enough piece about himself that he at least showed up as a gentleman that night. Because listen, hey, it could.
00:13:54
Speaker 4: Have gone He could.
00:13:55
Speaker 3: Have pulled up her skirt and he could have tripped her on the red carpet. He could have told her she was an idiot. I mean, it could have gone seven way sideways.
00:14:01
Speaker 4: So I mean, I'm saying if that had been me and I wasn't interested, I might answer the question. You know, Bryce was a really nice guy, had great manners. You know, he carried my bags in the gifting suiteie open doors for me, all those things. But there wasn't the chemistry there. That's the answer I would give.
00:14:19
Speaker 3: I think Mercedes voice that he would not be her typical type. That was the thing. And what I encouraged her is that if we all went with our typical type, look where we could have ended up. Sometimes we have to think outside of the box and outside of our comfort zone because we might typically chase chaos. So I know, He's not her typical type, but at least he was a He was a decent human being that showed up for a first date.
00:14:49
Speaker 4: And really, and I also think, you know, we should give Mercedes some credit here as well. She has all these people that she actually does know well, and some of her good friends are there, and so she's trying the balancing act of seeing if this guy is a good potential for dating while also looking around the room and seeing her friends and seeing what they're thinking about him. And you know, I don't know Mercedes as well as you do. We've spent a couple of times together, but she seemed very very honest with me about what was going on the date and particularly when we got back to the hotel after the date.
00:15:28
Speaker 2: Let's dive in here a bit.
00:15:29
Speaker 1: I want to talk about Bryce a little bit more, because I did just get off of a conversation with him.
00:15:35
Speaker 2: Deanna, you were on the sprinter van.
00:15:37
Speaker 1: I'll kind of roll through all these scenarios that were brought up during our conversation. Kathy, you were involved in some of them. Deana, you were around for some of them. He explained to me this the sprinter van situation. It sounded like to me, just by a listener, that he did kind of crush the sprinter van, two hour drive with a bunch of friends or a bunch of her friends that he didn't know, you know, sitting next to a girl having these conversations. It sounded like it went better than it could have.
00:16:07
Speaker 2: Do you agree?
00:16:09
Speaker 3: I do. I do, and I'm telling you. I literally sat and the way the sprinter van was, my seat was raised up a little bit, so I could kind of see what they were doing. I could watch their body language. I could see the way he was leaning in to her. I think that I got the vibe from pretty early on that he was into her more than she was into him. But with all of that being said, I do think that the date went best case scenario for first dates. They can be awkward, they can be annoying. You cannot like somebody off the bat, and right she did the same. She hung out with this person all night long in a situation, and they were together at all times. It's not like she was like, oh I don't like this guy and she left him alone. She very much catered to him as well. She was also a good first date. But I thought it was all there even on. It was an hour and a half drive in traffic in Los Angeles was annoying. We were all like, Okay, let's get there, you know, you hurry up, get ready, and you wait. But they talked the entire time. He engaged with her friends who were sitting in the row in front of her. He asked her great questions. She also asked him good questions. They had mutual friends. I thought that it was a really good time. I was not. I had a lot of fun, so one of us had a great time. But I just looking at it as an outside perspective, I thought the date was really good. I do get the impression pretty early on that he was into her more than she was into him.
00:17:37
Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's pretty clear from I mean, I haven't talked to Mercedes about this yet. Based on the two what the two of you are saying and talking to him, I think he is excited about a second date, was excited about the night that was had.
00:17:56
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'll have to talk to her to see.
00:17:58
Speaker 1: If he was reading any of that clearly, or I should even be interested in a second date. But Kathy, then you were at the concert with them, He explained that he at the concert just kind of loosened up.
00:18:10
Speaker 2: He was dancing.
00:18:12
Speaker 1: He was like talking to some people that he knew from my heart and letting her talk to her friends. He mentioned that he wanted to give her as much attention as possible. Do you from your perspective, when I mean, if I'm to put words in your mouth, you think, Kathy that this date did not end in like the best manner, meaning that they would go on a second date. When did that become clear to you? Was that during the concert?
00:18:37
Speaker 4: For me? Yeah? When I finally tracked them down and got them in the same room that I was in, she introduced me to him and we had a little bit of small talk. Again, very polite, very nice guy. And then he went stepped away to do something and I said to her so and she kind of shook head. No, nice guy, not not my guy. But before I could get any deeper into it, he was back and so he but in that time when she was not there, you know, he was telling me that that they were both Christians, that was important, and he showed me on his neck he apparently had a tattoo. I couldn't see it, but apparently a tattooed cross on his neck, and he said, you know, we're we're both Christians, and she's beautiful. I didn't I didn't get a sense of of more that they had in common. I didn't get you know, again, it was loud venue. It's hard to have any sort of loud, real meaningful conversation. But she I to your point, Dianna. She was lovely with him. She was not rude by any stretch. But I didn't see them with their arms on each other or looking. It was more like this guy that I am standing with here, but there really isn't anything. And then if I can just quickly jump ahead. When we got back to the hotel room, there was a pounding on my door and there were four girls there and they came in and they were talking about you know, it was Gabby and it was Katie and Jess and Mercedes, and I was they were sort of deciding what to do, and I guess he had not gone home. He said, no, let's continue to hang out, and they were talking about going to a bar and she didn't want to do it. She said, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be rude, and I said, well, you spend all evening with him. You know, these are your girlfriends. I don't think you owe it to him to spend the rest of the evening. Well, you know, he's talking about just staying here, and so they were kind of having that conversation about what were going to do, and Katie was saying, why don't we just stay here and get a bottle of wine and chat and some of the other ones wanted to go to a bar, and Mercedes literally seemed high anxiety. How to end this evening? Now that's that's a mother's perspective. I'm looking at her and she's saying, there's no way.
00:21:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think one, how cool is it that they came knocking on your door?
00:21:21
Speaker 2: You had to love that, Kathy.
00:21:23
Speaker 4: I always love them. I feel like I was back in Paradise. There's there's sweetest. I love them all. They're so sweet.
00:21:30
Speaker 1: The funny one is, Deanna, you might not know this, but I asked Kathy to send me texts during the concert, and so she decided that at a loud concert, instead of text, I'm going to do voice memos.
00:21:46
Speaker 4: And when I went back and read them, I was like.
00:21:48
Speaker 2: They made no sense.
00:21:53
Speaker 3: To me.
00:21:53
Speaker 2: I know it was just gibberish. And then I did send you a picture.
00:21:57
Speaker 4: Though I did get a picture, thank you for that. I know I didn't see the text of the next day. Well, I was trying to sort of be undercover, you know. I didn't want to be sitting there poking on my phone like I was sure.
00:22:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad Kathy had some cooth about her. I had no shame. I get together.
00:22:26
Speaker 2: Now.
00:22:26
Speaker 1: There's a lot to come out of this, because again I haven't talked to Mercedes. Mercedes could surprise us all and be like, hey, after a night's rest thinking about the date, I am open to a second date. I recognize that this maybe wasn't the best environment. But Diana, back to you, you were around for this first date. You've gone on your first you know your share of first dates. What is the standard for saying yes to a second date like especially a first date like this where it is chaos, there is a lot of people around, like when would you say yes? When would you say absolutely not?
00:23:06
Speaker 3: I think we have to look at it just like we labeled it. I would have probably taken a second date because given the situation, you know what I mean. But we cannot lie about that initial attraction. And if it wasn't there for Mercedes, and I don't want to speak for her right but if it wasn't there for her, then she knows it's not worth it to her to do a second date. Now, I think that Bryce, from what I gauged from him, is that he would absolutely do a second date. I was going to ask you, Ben because when I Okay, so, when I interviewed him, he full on planned that if the time was right, he was going to try to kiss her, and he was going to get her phone number.
00:23:43
Speaker 2: Did he do that, He got her phone number, They did not kiss.
00:23:46
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I don't think that she was going to be kissing him.
00:23:51
Speaker 4: So wait, I got to say two things. One is I read somewhere if you are not repulsed by the first date, if there's not you know, A, B and C that are against your set of values, that you should always go on a second date to give the guy or the gal whatever it is, a chance. So yes, I think unless she was completely repulsed by him, given the circumstances of the state, I think it would be I would encourage her to have a second date.
00:24:19
Speaker 3: I think that unless there's a huge red flag. I believe we get these gentle nudges from our own intuition about whether something is right or wrong, and sometimes you need a couple of those to feel something out. There's no way you truly get to know someone in that short period of time of a first date, let alone the chaos of what their first date was recording a podcast. You've got friends there, You're obviously trying to look and be your best because you're at an event. So I would hope that she would take a second date, but I don't know. I don't know if she will. And there's also the other piece of like he lives in La, she lives in Nashville. I don't know when they can see each other again. But you know, I am hoping for her to take a second date, and I'm hoping it's something a little bit more traditional, just the two of them. They maybe they go and grab a drink, or maybe they go to dinner or something a little bit more.
00:25:07
Speaker 4: When I asked him Diana about that, well, I said that at the top of the podcast about them dating long distance, he told me that he goes to Nashville. He's a music producer as a old music label. He said that he goes to Nashville a lot. That's one of the reasons he wasn't worried about long distance dating because he said he spends a lot of time in Nashville.
00:25:27
Speaker 3: Listen, he did a lot of things right. He made that very clear even when we recorded in the room, that he if he saw something there, he would make a point to see Mercedes again. And he told us like that's his life. He's there all the time. So I think he was laying it up there. If she wants it, I believe he gave her, you know, the incentive. I think that he would do it. I do believe that right now we are going to be relying on what Mercedes wants because I believe that he has made it clear that he would keep in touch, he would see her again, he would like that she had any qualities that he likes and that he looks for in someone. I will say there was a red flag for me again, I'm not dating Bryce, so mind me nothing. But when we were talking and chatting, he shared with me that he took a break for dating from dating for a couple of years because he was trying to get to know himself a little better. And he recognized that he jumped into relationships too quickly in the past, that he went hard and they went fast, and then within a few months he was like, Oh, I don't really like that person to me, given everything that I have been through in my life, that's a red flag to me. That's called love bombing. That's called many many you're you know, they call it dating and dating slowly for a reason because you miss things in the beginning due to infatuation and sexual attraction. You miss some of those really big things that you need in a lasting relationship. So for me, again, I'm not dating Bryce, but I have trained myself enough that I made some mental notes when he was sharing those things that like, that's a red flag.
00:27:06
Speaker 4: For me unless he's done the work. I mean. The other thing is he may have done the work in the last couple of years where he has learned to slow it down. And who knows, I mean, you don't even know that over she'd only know that over time getting to know him. The only thing I want to say about it is we have to give Mercedes some slack here too, because these are her good friends and they apparently did all go out after and went to a bar, and so they're evaluating her friends are evaluating him in real time. She's not having the time to develop a relationship on her own. She's you know, she's sort of reading what, you know, what her friends are saying about them about him. And I think that's tough too. I think that's hard.
00:27:50
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think this.
00:27:53
Speaker 1: Would have been a difficult place for him to come out of this unscathed. Because of that, your friends are going to be critical.
00:28:02
Speaker 4: Now.
00:28:02
Speaker 1: They're also going to be very supportive, but they're they're protective. They're gonna be critical, especially as the night wanes on and drinks are flowing and you know, you're stuck in traffic, like your friends are gonna get critical. They're going to start to really try to protect you. I think it's a hard place to win over. I mean, goodness, I hope people listening. I give a ton of support behind Bryce and Mercedes. They said yes to this. It's not like we're coming out of this being like, goodness, gracious, what a terrible guy? Or wow, Mercedes, no wonder you're you know, you're single. Like they're both doing great, and that's the beauty of this experience is we get to hear why things work and why things don't, and sometimes be surprised when they work, and then also be surprised when they don't work. I mean, he's a handsome man, he was kind.
00:28:50
Speaker 3: They were dressed similar, Ben, like, they showed up and their vibe was the same. She was wearing a black silk dress and he was wearing a black silk blouse.
00:29:01
Speaker 2: That wasn't good for.
00:29:02
Speaker 3: Them deeply unbuttoned.
00:29:04
Speaker 4: I was going to say his blouse, his shirt was deeply unbuttoned, and she was buttoned up. So yeah, there was that. I have to tell you why when they're in our hotel room. The girls before they all went out to the bar after the date, they were just I was laughing. I mean again, you know, alcohol probably had been involved a little bit. They were saying. I mean, the guys got on a silk shirt and then somebody said, no, it's polyesterro I'm like, really do we care? And it was unbuttoned, I mean, come on, button up your shirt. And I just sat there laughing.
00:29:35
Speaker 3: I had to look back at the photos when and I have to send them to you, Ben so that you can see them. Because I took a video to of their initial meat. But I don't remember his button being undone that far.
00:29:46
Speaker 4: When they were in the suite for sure, well or.
00:29:50
Speaker 3: When we started the podcast. I don't remember seeing that much cleavage on him.
00:29:56
Speaker 1: I've got a hairy chest. That would be kind of cool. Look for me, though, born star like it'd be awesome.
00:30:02
Speaker 3: I question everything about you, Ben, I'm.
00:30:05
Speaker 4: Gonna say, Ben, that's just that just doesn't even I don't want to imagine.
00:30:08
Speaker 2: It does it for some? Yeah? It does it for some.
00:30:11
Speaker 1: This is a really fascinating time because obviously we got to speak to Bryce, we got to speak to.
00:30:16
Speaker 2: The two of you. We're gonna speak to Mercedes.
00:30:20
Speaker 1: I think the big like takeaway from this so far is that he did in a fact in a sense, I'm hearing what you're saying, Diana, and I'm hearing what you're saying, Kathyen. I'm like, the best thing that happened to Bryce. If Bryce listens to this, which I'm guessing you will, is to do a long distance relationship because it forces things to slow down. It does it forces the pace to get to a level from that euphoric Oh my gosh, I can't imagine not spending an evening with you from like night one. Here's a red flag for me, though, to interrupt myself in my life, there is some standards for first dates, right, Like I don't need to be sleeping with the person on the first date. That's not necessarily a win for anybody, especially if I want to see them again. That's never been a good start to a relationship for me. A kiss acceptable, you know, but a kiss can be a kiss, and it's a nice like goodbye, cannot wait to see again. I might even see you tomorrow night. If you're up for it, we'll go out to dinner. However, my lesson that I've learned over the years is you just say goodbye a little earlier than you think you should, because if the other person isn't feeling it, or they're tired, or they were nervous, and now they're just like relieved that they did this first date thing, it gives them the space to say, hey, that was awesome, leaving them wanting more. I do think a red flag was this kind of I'm going to now go out with your friends to the bar till two am. Just in my life, that just feels like an easy Hey, I'll let you guys go have fun.
00:31:56
Speaker 2: I'm going to go home.
00:31:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you said it perfectly. Just then, just then, there was a part where he needed to be aware of his surroundings and allow her the moment to just be with her friends and politely see himself out.
00:32:16
Speaker 4: I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm going to say I disagree with both of you. I think it is as much on Mercedes to say, hey, this has been a lovely date. Uh, you know, it's been great seeing you. We can talk again. But I'm here with my friends and I haven't seen them, and let's let's talk again tomorrow or a week from tomorrow or never again. But I'm going to place the onus just as much on her to end the date as him, and she couldn't. When she was in my hotel room, she said, I don't know what to say.
00:32:49
Speaker 2: Eyes Kathy.
00:32:50
Speaker 1: I don't disagree with you, but we've all been married here, right, Like, don't make it the other person's problem. What I'm saying is be aware enough to not put it on the other person to have to be the one to say something, even if it felt like hey, early and gone it's it's it's actually a really good I think play.
00:33:12
Speaker 3: It could have benefited him well. To do that. Less is more sometimes leave room for her wanting more. As much as we hate to say that there are games in dating, there are. We all want to be desired. We want there to be some attraction. You want them to leave wanting more.
00:33:31
Speaker 4: Because we don't know, you know, we don't know. Maybe the other guys, you know, Zach all the.
00:33:37
Speaker 3: No doubt, Kathy, I won't assume what they were thinking. I highly doubt know.
00:33:41
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna say, maybe they said, hey, come on, we're gonna go to the bar, come with it. I mean, I don't I doubt it. I doubt it.
00:33:46
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with I doubt it.
00:33:48
Speaker 1: For the women out there listening, I will say there would be something very attractive to me on a first date, even second day, even today in my marriage. If we all go out to dinner and we're hanging out and the guys are saying, hey, let's go to the sports bar, and I'm like, I'd love to go, and my wife or my girlfriend at the time and be like, you guys, go have fun.
00:34:10
Speaker 2: Ben.
00:34:11
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see when you get home or Ben, I hope that we have a date tomorrow night or the next night, whenever you're available. Like there is something attractive about just being aware enough to say, Hey, I know you like me. I know you love being around me, but that doesn't mean that I have to be around all the time. Hey, we got to close up here. I'll give you each thirty seconds. Final thoughts on witnessing and being the Spies for the first date, Kathy will start with you.
00:34:41
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I missed my calling. I think the CIA would have been a good place for me. I just have to find them. I know. I thought it was great to sort of watch from a distance, not being a participant, watching what was going on. And I guess my wish is for anyone who's out there dating, give it a chance. Be calm it. You know, you don't have to conquer the world on the first date. So I hope that Mercedes will give it a second shot, because I think that you just sometimes you don't know. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time to warm up, and it was not the most easy dating. You know, to date someone at a concert is not the easiest first date.
00:35:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you, Kathy, I would one hundred percent agree with what you say. I hope Mercedes will give it a second date. I really do. And I hope the two of them can just go to dinner next time he's in Nashville for work, or at least a phone call, a FaceTime or something to be able to speak. Because I, from an outsider, believe that it was a great first date. I think that they were both engaged, They treated each other well, they got to know each other, they found things in common, and we don't always have to lead with that initial physical chemistry. Sometimes that needs to grow and you need to find other things in common. So I'm with you, Kathy. I do hope that they go on a second date. I hope that they can figure that out from there. That would be my hope. I think it was a great first date, Benjamin, good.
00:36:15
Speaker 1: Job, hey, crushing it over here. I will say this also. I mean it when I say this, Bryce and Mercedes. I think it took courage. I think you're both great. If you're not meant for each other, you're gonna be catchius to people. This is just the fun part of breaking down an individual relationship at an individual time in a very uncomfortable scenario, but I do think my hope is they both came out of it being like, I'm glad I did it. It was worth the effort, it was worth the time, worth the evening, and we think you're both great. Hey, this is famously available breaking down with my spies for this date. Deanna and Kathy. They are good at this. In fact, I do think they might have a job at this. This would be a really fun career path for the two of them. Anyways, we're gonna be talking to Mercedes, we talked to Bryce. We're gonna be talking to a lot of people about this day, figuring out the dues, the don'ts, the ones, the needs, the red flags, the green flags, and everything good and bad that happens in dating.
00:37:13
Speaker 2: So until next time, I've been Ben, We'll talk to you soon.
Speaker 1: iHeart podcasts. Bring you the ultimate Summer of love Tree. This is famously available. Hey, everybody's famously available. I have two famously available ladies co hosting with me today. They're amazing, They're fantastic. That's why they're famously available and doing this podcast with me. We're here today because they were some of the spies during Mercedes and Bryce's date at jingle Ball.
00:00:28
Speaker 2: Now I have already talked to Bryce.
00:00:33
Speaker 1: I really don't know any behind the scenes of this date, and so today I'm bringing Deanna and Kathy here on to really tell me about the date from their perspective, what they saw, what they.
00:00:47
Speaker 2: Know, what went good, will went bad?
00:00:49
Speaker 1: Catch us up. And here's the fun part about this show. I think we get mercedes perspective, we get Bryce's perspective, we also get spot perspectives, and so somewhere in the middle is going to be the truth. But everybody's truth counts. So all right, ladies, let's kick this off. Dean, I'm going to start with you tell us kind of I guess before I kind of talk about what Bryce took talked about. I would love to hear your conversations with Bryce and Mercedes before the date started, What were you excited about? What were you thinking could happen? Kind of that pre interview that you did that we can all listen to.
00:01:35
Speaker 3: Okay, I've actually been really looking forward to this. I joked with Bryce that he thought he was just going on a date with Mercedes, but truth be told, he was going on a date with Mercedes, Me, Kathy, like dozens of other people, you know what I mean. So I listen, thanks so much for letting me be a part of their initial like dating. I so so enjoyed getting to interview him and kind of lay up what he was walking into. And I don't know, Ben, but I kind of let Bryce have it. I didn't let him like, I didn't make it this like gentle, smooth transition for him. I kind of let him have it before he got to meet Mercedes, and I joked with him and I laughed a lot. I'm not sure Bryce thought I was as funny as I thought I was, But listen, I had a great time. But what I want to say is what a unique experience to be sitting in the room when Mercedes walked in and to have eyes on the two of them the very first time that they got to meet. It's like one of my favorite things about weddings too, you know what I mean when you see the bride walk up and you see the groom and he's crying and he's in love and he's you know, it was the same situation because I Mercedes and I rode to the studio together, so we had the opportunity to talk, and she was a little nervous and she was excited, and then she got to stand outside of the door and be there for the twenty minutes I got to interview Bryce, and probably her nerves and stuff were just adding up. And what a fun experience to see her come into the room because you know, you're expecting them to be like blown away, you know, Kathy, you know, because you got to see him too and take a look at him and see his looks, his physical appearance. But I think he was a good looking guy. And Mercedes, we know, is gorgeous. But how fun it was to sit in the room and kind of see her come in because there's a piece where she's trying to play it cool too. You know, she doesn't want to be like off the bat, like ooh he's ugly or oh damn, he's so hot, but she's playing it cool. But also she's super nervous and she's excited too, and he tried to claim he wasn't nervous, but like we all where, we all know.
00:03:48
Speaker 4: Well, I want to know what did you think when you saw her lay eyes on him? Because clearly you've got to see him first. So what was your take when you saw her meet? How did she look?
00:04:02
Speaker 3: I thought initially they were both trying to play it cool. And I think actually when we were recording, I made this little note because you could see the progression. As an outsider, you could see the progression as the interview went on, like they were a little too scared to make eye contacts. They didn't look at each other too much, but they both wanted to like check each other out. They wanted to look at their physical appearance. It is important to have that initial attraction. But as the interview went on, they started to look at each other a little longer, the eye contact was stronger, They started to comment on each other's physical appearance. I just was like, how cool to like sit in that situation and get to see the two of them really take each other in. And I think that initial traction was there that I think that, well, I don't think. Oh no, he found her attractive off the bat, like he made that perfectly clear. I heard him within the first couple of minutes say, wow, holy crap, like you're so my type. You are stunning, Like he was captivated with her physical appearance, because she's gorgeous obviously, but it was funny to see her too loosen up because she was nervous. Who wouldn't be. But it was fun to see her loosen up too because as someone who is available, Kathy, eye contact is very important to me, and I could see the two of them start to pay attention to each other a little bit more and hold eye contact a little bit more, and really actively listen to each other and try to comment on each other. It just was the nerves were off, and then you got to see the natural progression of what a date really looks like.
00:05:33
Speaker 1: Wow, Kathy, for you, you weren't there for that first moment, but we had talked with Mercedes before the date started, so you did have an idea of what she was wanting and expecting. Give us your kind of initial interpretation or feelings when you saw the two of them together for the first time.
00:05:56
Speaker 4: Okay, well that's where the humor began for me, because I kept trying to find them. I was up in the suite and I said, where's Mercedes. She just went downstairs. Literally we were when I was downstairs, she was upstairs. So finally I decided to stay put waited till they came in, and, of course, shy person that I am, I went right up to him and I said, so, I'm mercedes mother, and he kind of looked at me and I said, not really, but for tonight, yes I am. And so tell me about you.
00:06:28
Speaker 2: I mean.
00:06:28
Speaker 4: I started peppering them with questions and it was so funny. The first thing he said was, well, she's so beautiful, and I'm just I said, so, what are you looking for? And he said, well, I'm really just I'm looking for a beautiful woman. I said, oh, do you want to date me? And it just completely put him off, Like, you know, I'm just kidding. He said that It was interesting though, because anyone who knows me, I'm I go right in like, okay, I'm just gonna I'm the spy here, but I'm also you know, the attorney, the opposing council and I'm just going in. And so I asked him what he was looking for, and he said a beautiful woman, which you know doesn't really narrow the field, but as you said, Dianna, Mercedes is stunning. And then he said something about his parents had just moved to Florida from Kansas and they wanted him to get married and have a couple of kids, and he thought he should do that, but he didn't know how it was going to work out because she was in that because Mercedes lives in Nashville and he lives in California. So I said, as any logical person would, Oh, so you're not interested in dating someone long distance? Oh no, I'm open to that. I'm open to that.
00:07:43
Speaker 3: Uh.
00:07:43
Speaker 4: And so I said, oh, and he said, in fact, you know I'm going to I'm going to go to Nashville and see her. I you know, I'm going to go and see where this goes. So I'm thinking everybody's hitting it off until I talked to Mercedes.
00:07:58
Speaker 3: Listen, I think that we should start off by giving Bryce some credit. Okay, it is a lot to ask someone to go on a podcast, let alone television or anything else and put himself out there. So like, let's give him some credit. He went into this completely blind, and not only was he not just going on a date alone with Mercedes, he had to deal with everyone else involved.
00:08:22
Speaker 4: Like, you know, did he seem nervous because he didn't. To me, Diana, he didn't seem he seemed just go with the flow kind of guy.
00:08:29
Speaker 3: In the group setting. Once we got to the concert, I think he did a really great job. But I would say that when we interviewed him in the studio before he met Mercedes, he was he was a little nervous, Like he was like, Hey, I'm super confident. Well, I don't know if you have to say you're confident. I'm so sure you're super confident. But who would not be nervous. I am giving this young man some grace and listen when you hear the interview. I maybe I'm an asshole.
00:08:55
Speaker 4: I don't know.
00:08:56
Speaker 3: I really gave it to Bryce. I didn't let him cut any I didn't let him give me schmoozy answers. I really asked him some challenging things, and I made him laugh a little, trying to loosen him up. I think it only got awkward when I asked him about if he was going to kiss her that night, and then I told him when he did, it's only weird if I lean in too. So poor Bryce, Poor poor Bryce.
00:09:23
Speaker 1: You know, I think there's a few things I did just get to talk to Bryce.
00:09:27
Speaker 2: I do want to be clear here.
00:09:28
Speaker 1: We got to give him the benefit of the doubt, because it is a weird situation at every level. Yes, you're getting set up on a first date. That's weird. Yes, you know that at some level people are going to be listening to the details of this date depending on what they want to share.
00:09:43
Speaker 2: That's weird.
00:09:43
Speaker 1: The other one is he's walking in to a group of people that know each other or at least are familiar with each other, and you are the outsider, and everybody there knows that you're on a date with this incredible human who we all think is a massive catch for any man. So there's a lot going against you when you step into it.
00:10:05
Speaker 3: Then you're dismissing the whole part where he's looking at a bunch of people who were on television he has seen the show, like, you're dismissing the whole other piece of like he's walking into a celebrity filled event where there's a red carpet and you're being surrounded by a bunch of quote celebrities who have been on television, Like I can't imagine the level of pressure that he was feeling. And I thought he did an excellent job. I thought he did a great job.
00:10:29
Speaker 4: Yeah, I didn't see him nervous again. By the time I met him in the suite, he'd done the interview with you already, Deanna, the podcast, he'd already spent time with her.
00:10:41
Speaker 3: I got the pleasure of sitting behind them on the bus on the way to the concert. And we all know Los Angeles and Los Angeles traffic. What was nine miles took us an hour and a half to get there, And I got to sit behind them on the bus, you guys, with no one else around, And they were cute. They were talking to each other, they were talking about their families, they were pulling up their Instagram accounts. He was very attentive to her, and he was very complimentary. So if they don't get married in the end, okay. I thought it was a really great first date. I thought he was a great person to be set up with on a first date. I thought she handled it really well. Whether whether they're going to go on a second date or keep in touch. I thought it was a really great first date. She was cold. We were having to stand outside and wait on our uber, and she was really cold because she's wearing this beautiful cute dress with no sleeves on it. And he did not hesitate to take his jacket off and put it around her shoulders. You guys, those things are so important. He may not be the right person for her, but he was chivalrous. He was kind, he was complimentary. I think he was honest, and he was all about Mercedes that night. Not to mention, there were a ton of other hot girls in the room. He could have dismissed her and literally checked out any other girl in the room. He followed Mercedes around all night. He adored her, He found her beautiful, He was interested. I thought it was a fantastic first date for whom I think in general, it was a fantastic first date. Whether they see each other again, when we're looking in the grand scheme of first dates, it was better than mine.
00:12:26
Speaker 1: I got the question asked to me this week at an event. They said, Ben, I'm single, I don't want to meet somebody. What do you recommend, And I say, go on dates, like just do it, like they're not all going to be perfect. And I do think there is this scale for all of us when it comes to the first date that as long as nothing happened, that's that memorable. Really, I mean, that's kind of my standard is like, as long as nothing happened that that is that memorable and that hurt us, or there was something said where an argument got brought up in the first date, then that's a good first date. It might not mean that there's a second, but goodness, we'll say, hey, this this first date didn't hurt me on by going exactly.
00:13:07
Speaker 4: Yeah, I guess. I guess we're arguing semantics here because to me, at my age, a good first date means I want to see the guy again. Otherwise it's a date. Yes, I had a date, But if I say to you, I had a really good first date, it means I want a second date. So I think it's just my interpretation. Sure.
00:13:26
Speaker 3: I think that's the beauty of this podcast too, is we've got three wonderful women who are available that view relationships and dating very differently at different stages in our lives. And I guess I appreciate that, Kathy, because I've kissed enough frogs to think, oh, well, at least there is still a kind human being out there. At least there is a guy who had enough piece about himself that he at least showed up as a gentleman that night. Because listen, hey, it could.
00:13:54
Speaker 4: Have gone He could.
00:13:55
Speaker 3: Have pulled up her skirt and he could have tripped her on the red carpet. He could have told her she was an idiot. I mean, it could have gone seven way sideways.
00:14:01
Speaker 4: So I mean, I'm saying if that had been me and I wasn't interested, I might answer the question. You know, Bryce was a really nice guy, had great manners. You know, he carried my bags in the gifting suiteie open doors for me, all those things. But there wasn't the chemistry there. That's the answer I would give.
00:14:19
Speaker 3: I think Mercedes voice that he would not be her typical type. That was the thing. And what I encouraged her is that if we all went with our typical type, look where we could have ended up. Sometimes we have to think outside of the box and outside of our comfort zone because we might typically chase chaos. So I know, He's not her typical type, but at least he was a He was a decent human being that showed up for a first date.
00:14:49
Speaker 4: And really, and I also think, you know, we should give Mercedes some credit here as well. She has all these people that she actually does know well, and some of her good friends are there, and so she's trying the balancing act of seeing if this guy is a good potential for dating while also looking around the room and seeing her friends and seeing what they're thinking about him. And you know, I don't know Mercedes as well as you do. We've spent a couple of times together, but she seemed very very honest with me about what was going on the date and particularly when we got back to the hotel after the date.
00:15:28
Speaker 2: Let's dive in here a bit.
00:15:29
Speaker 1: I want to talk about Bryce a little bit more, because I did just get off of a conversation with him.
00:15:35
Speaker 2: Deanna, you were on the sprinter van.
00:15:37
Speaker 1: I'll kind of roll through all these scenarios that were brought up during our conversation. Kathy, you were involved in some of them. Deana, you were around for some of them. He explained to me this the sprinter van situation. It sounded like to me, just by a listener, that he did kind of crush the sprinter van, two hour drive with a bunch of friends or a bunch of her friends that he didn't know, you know, sitting next to a girl having these conversations. It sounded like it went better than it could have.
00:16:07
Speaker 2: Do you agree?
00:16:09
Speaker 3: I do. I do, and I'm telling you. I literally sat and the way the sprinter van was, my seat was raised up a little bit, so I could kind of see what they were doing. I could watch their body language. I could see the way he was leaning in to her. I think that I got the vibe from pretty early on that he was into her more than she was into him. But with all of that being said, I do think that the date went best case scenario for first dates. They can be awkward, they can be annoying. You cannot like somebody off the bat, and right she did the same. She hung out with this person all night long in a situation, and they were together at all times. It's not like she was like, oh I don't like this guy and she left him alone. She very much catered to him as well. She was also a good first date. But I thought it was all there even on. It was an hour and a half drive in traffic in Los Angeles was annoying. We were all like, Okay, let's get there, you know, you hurry up, get ready, and you wait. But they talked the entire time. He engaged with her friends who were sitting in the row in front of her. He asked her great questions. She also asked him good questions. They had mutual friends. I thought that it was a really good time. I was not. I had a lot of fun, so one of us had a great time. But I just looking at it as an outside perspective, I thought the date was really good. I do get the impression pretty early on that he was into her more than she was into him.
00:17:37
Speaker 1: I think that's I think that's pretty clear from I mean, I haven't talked to Mercedes about this yet. Based on the two what the two of you are saying and talking to him, I think he is excited about a second date, was excited about the night that was had.
00:17:56
Speaker 2: I don't know. I'll have to talk to her to see.
00:17:58
Speaker 1: If he was reading any of that clearly, or I should even be interested in a second date. But Kathy, then you were at the concert with them, He explained that he at the concert just kind of loosened up.
00:18:10
Speaker 2: He was dancing.
00:18:12
Speaker 1: He was like talking to some people that he knew from my heart and letting her talk to her friends. He mentioned that he wanted to give her as much attention as possible. Do you from your perspective, when I mean, if I'm to put words in your mouth, you think, Kathy that this date did not end in like the best manner, meaning that they would go on a second date. When did that become clear to you? Was that during the concert?
00:18:37
Speaker 4: For me? Yeah? When I finally tracked them down and got them in the same room that I was in, she introduced me to him and we had a little bit of small talk. Again, very polite, very nice guy. And then he went stepped away to do something and I said to her so and she kind of shook head. No, nice guy, not not my guy. But before I could get any deeper into it, he was back and so he but in that time when she was not there, you know, he was telling me that that they were both Christians, that was important, and he showed me on his neck he apparently had a tattoo. I couldn't see it, but apparently a tattooed cross on his neck, and he said, you know, we're we're both Christians, and she's beautiful. I didn't I didn't get a sense of of more that they had in common. I didn't get you know, again, it was loud venue. It's hard to have any sort of loud, real meaningful conversation. But she I to your point, Dianna. She was lovely with him. She was not rude by any stretch. But I didn't see them with their arms on each other or looking. It was more like this guy that I am standing with here, but there really isn't anything. And then if I can just quickly jump ahead. When we got back to the hotel room, there was a pounding on my door and there were four girls there and they came in and they were talking about you know, it was Gabby and it was Katie and Jess and Mercedes, and I was they were sort of deciding what to do, and I guess he had not gone home. He said, no, let's continue to hang out, and they were talking about going to a bar and she didn't want to do it. She said, I don't know what to do. I don't want to be rude, and I said, well, you spend all evening with him. You know, these are your girlfriends. I don't think you owe it to him to spend the rest of the evening. Well, you know, he's talking about just staying here, and so they were kind of having that conversation about what were going to do, and Katie was saying, why don't we just stay here and get a bottle of wine and chat and some of the other ones wanted to go to a bar, and Mercedes literally seemed high anxiety. How to end this evening? Now that's that's a mother's perspective. I'm looking at her and she's saying, there's no way.
00:21:17
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think one, how cool is it that they came knocking on your door?
00:21:21
Speaker 2: You had to love that, Kathy.
00:21:23
Speaker 4: I always love them. I feel like I was back in Paradise. There's there's sweetest. I love them all. They're so sweet.
00:21:30
Speaker 1: The funny one is, Deanna, you might not know this, but I asked Kathy to send me texts during the concert, and so she decided that at a loud concert, instead of text, I'm going to do voice memos.
00:21:46
Speaker 4: And when I went back and read them, I was like.
00:21:48
Speaker 2: They made no sense.
00:21:53
Speaker 3: To me.
00:21:53
Speaker 2: I know it was just gibberish. And then I did send you a picture.
00:21:57
Speaker 4: Though I did get a picture, thank you for that. I know I didn't see the text of the next day. Well, I was trying to sort of be undercover, you know. I didn't want to be sitting there poking on my phone like I was sure.
00:22:09
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm glad Kathy had some cooth about her. I had no shame. I get together.
00:22:26
Speaker 2: Now.
00:22:26
Speaker 1: There's a lot to come out of this, because again I haven't talked to Mercedes. Mercedes could surprise us all and be like, hey, after a night's rest thinking about the date, I am open to a second date. I recognize that this maybe wasn't the best environment. But Diana, back to you, you were around for this first date. You've gone on your first you know your share of first dates. What is the standard for saying yes to a second date like especially a first date like this where it is chaos, there is a lot of people around, like when would you say yes? When would you say absolutely not?
00:23:06
Speaker 3: I think we have to look at it just like we labeled it. I would have probably taken a second date because given the situation, you know what I mean. But we cannot lie about that initial attraction. And if it wasn't there for Mercedes, and I don't want to speak for her right but if it wasn't there for her, then she knows it's not worth it to her to do a second date. Now, I think that Bryce, from what I gauged from him, is that he would absolutely do a second date. I was going to ask you, Ben because when I Okay, so, when I interviewed him, he full on planned that if the time was right, he was going to try to kiss her, and he was going to get her phone number.
00:23:43
Speaker 2: Did he do that, He got her phone number, They did not kiss.
00:23:46
Speaker 3: Okay, Okay, I don't think that she was going to be kissing him.
00:23:51
Speaker 4: So wait, I got to say two things. One is I read somewhere if you are not repulsed by the first date, if there's not you know, A, B and C that are against your set of values, that you should always go on a second date to give the guy or the gal whatever it is, a chance. So yes, I think unless she was completely repulsed by him, given the circumstances of the state, I think it would be I would encourage her to have a second date.
00:24:19
Speaker 3: I think that unless there's a huge red flag. I believe we get these gentle nudges from our own intuition about whether something is right or wrong, and sometimes you need a couple of those to feel something out. There's no way you truly get to know someone in that short period of time of a first date, let alone the chaos of what their first date was recording a podcast. You've got friends there, You're obviously trying to look and be your best because you're at an event. So I would hope that she would take a second date, but I don't know. I don't know if she will. And there's also the other piece of like he lives in La, she lives in Nashville. I don't know when they can see each other again. But you know, I am hoping for her to take a second date, and I'm hoping it's something a little bit more traditional, just the two of them. They maybe they go and grab a drink, or maybe they go to dinner or something a little bit more.
00:25:07
Speaker 4: When I asked him Diana about that, well, I said that at the top of the podcast about them dating long distance, he told me that he goes to Nashville. He's a music producer as a old music label. He said that he goes to Nashville a lot. That's one of the reasons he wasn't worried about long distance dating because he said he spends a lot of time in Nashville.
00:25:27
Speaker 3: Listen, he did a lot of things right. He made that very clear even when we recorded in the room, that he if he saw something there, he would make a point to see Mercedes again. And he told us like that's his life. He's there all the time. So I think he was laying it up there. If she wants it, I believe he gave her, you know, the incentive. I think that he would do it. I do believe that right now we are going to be relying on what Mercedes wants because I believe that he has made it clear that he would keep in touch, he would see her again, he would like that she had any qualities that he likes and that he looks for in someone. I will say there was a red flag for me again, I'm not dating Bryce, so mind me nothing. But when we were talking and chatting, he shared with me that he took a break for dating from dating for a couple of years because he was trying to get to know himself a little better. And he recognized that he jumped into relationships too quickly in the past, that he went hard and they went fast, and then within a few months he was like, Oh, I don't really like that person to me, given everything that I have been through in my life, that's a red flag to me. That's called love bombing. That's called many many you're you know, they call it dating and dating slowly for a reason because you miss things in the beginning due to infatuation and sexual attraction. You miss some of those really big things that you need in a lasting relationship. So for me, again, I'm not dating Bryce, but I have trained myself enough that I made some mental notes when he was sharing those things that like, that's a red flag.
00:27:06
Speaker 4: For me unless he's done the work. I mean. The other thing is he may have done the work in the last couple of years where he has learned to slow it down. And who knows, I mean, you don't even know that over she'd only know that over time getting to know him. The only thing I want to say about it is we have to give Mercedes some slack here too, because these are her good friends and they apparently did all go out after and went to a bar, and so they're evaluating her friends are evaluating him in real time. She's not having the time to develop a relationship on her own. She's you know, she's sort of reading what, you know, what her friends are saying about them about him. And I think that's tough too. I think that's hard.
00:27:50
Speaker 2: I think, yeah, I think this.
00:27:53
Speaker 1: Would have been a difficult place for him to come out of this unscathed. Because of that, your friends are going to be critical.
00:28:02
Speaker 4: Now.
00:28:02
Speaker 1: They're also going to be very supportive, but they're they're protective. They're gonna be critical, especially as the night wanes on and drinks are flowing and you know, you're stuck in traffic, like your friends are gonna get critical. They're going to start to really try to protect you. I think it's a hard place to win over. I mean, goodness, I hope people listening. I give a ton of support behind Bryce and Mercedes. They said yes to this. It's not like we're coming out of this being like, goodness, gracious, what a terrible guy? Or wow, Mercedes, no wonder you're you know, you're single. Like they're both doing great, and that's the beauty of this experience is we get to hear why things work and why things don't, and sometimes be surprised when they work, and then also be surprised when they don't work. I mean, he's a handsome man, he was kind.
00:28:50
Speaker 3: They were dressed similar, Ben, like, they showed up and their vibe was the same. She was wearing a black silk dress and he was wearing a black silk blouse.
00:29:01
Speaker 2: That wasn't good for.
00:29:02
Speaker 3: Them deeply unbuttoned.
00:29:04
Speaker 4: I was going to say his blouse, his shirt was deeply unbuttoned, and she was buttoned up. So yeah, there was that. I have to tell you why when they're in our hotel room. The girls before they all went out to the bar after the date, they were just I was laughing. I mean again, you know, alcohol probably had been involved a little bit. They were saying. I mean, the guys got on a silk shirt and then somebody said, no, it's polyesterro I'm like, really do we care? And it was unbuttoned, I mean, come on, button up your shirt. And I just sat there laughing.
00:29:35
Speaker 3: I had to look back at the photos when and I have to send them to you, Ben so that you can see them. Because I took a video to of their initial meat. But I don't remember his button being undone that far.
00:29:46
Speaker 4: When they were in the suite for sure, well or.
00:29:50
Speaker 3: When we started the podcast. I don't remember seeing that much cleavage on him.
00:29:56
Speaker 1: I've got a hairy chest. That would be kind of cool. Look for me, though, born star like it'd be awesome.
00:30:02
Speaker 3: I question everything about you, Ben, I'm.
00:30:05
Speaker 4: Gonna say, Ben, that's just that just doesn't even I don't want to imagine.
00:30:08
Speaker 2: It does it for some? Yeah? It does it for some.
00:30:11
Speaker 1: This is a really fascinating time because obviously we got to speak to Bryce, we got to speak to.
00:30:16
Speaker 2: The two of you. We're gonna speak to Mercedes.
00:30:20
Speaker 1: I think the big like takeaway from this so far is that he did in a fact in a sense, I'm hearing what you're saying, Diana, and I'm hearing what you're saying, Kathyen. I'm like, the best thing that happened to Bryce. If Bryce listens to this, which I'm guessing you will, is to do a long distance relationship because it forces things to slow down. It does it forces the pace to get to a level from that euphoric Oh my gosh, I can't imagine not spending an evening with you from like night one. Here's a red flag for me, though, to interrupt myself in my life, there is some standards for first dates, right, Like I don't need to be sleeping with the person on the first date. That's not necessarily a win for anybody, especially if I want to see them again. That's never been a good start to a relationship for me. A kiss acceptable, you know, but a kiss can be a kiss, and it's a nice like goodbye, cannot wait to see again. I might even see you tomorrow night. If you're up for it, we'll go out to dinner. However, my lesson that I've learned over the years is you just say goodbye a little earlier than you think you should, because if the other person isn't feeling it, or they're tired, or they were nervous, and now they're just like relieved that they did this first date thing, it gives them the space to say, hey, that was awesome, leaving them wanting more. I do think a red flag was this kind of I'm going to now go out with your friends to the bar till two am. Just in my life, that just feels like an easy Hey, I'll let you guys go have fun.
00:31:56
Speaker 2: I'm going to go home.
00:31:58
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think you said it perfectly. Just then, just then, there was a part where he needed to be aware of his surroundings and allow her the moment to just be with her friends and politely see himself out.
00:32:16
Speaker 4: I'm gonna, I'm gonna. I'm going to say I disagree with both of you. I think it is as much on Mercedes to say, hey, this has been a lovely date. Uh, you know, it's been great seeing you. We can talk again. But I'm here with my friends and I haven't seen them, and let's let's talk again tomorrow or a week from tomorrow or never again. But I'm going to place the onus just as much on her to end the date as him, and she couldn't. When she was in my hotel room, she said, I don't know what to say.
00:32:49
Speaker 2: Eyes Kathy.
00:32:50
Speaker 1: I don't disagree with you, but we've all been married here, right, Like, don't make it the other person's problem. What I'm saying is be aware enough to not put it on the other person to have to be the one to say something, even if it felt like hey, early and gone it's it's it's actually a really good I think play.
00:33:12
Speaker 3: It could have benefited him well. To do that. Less is more sometimes leave room for her wanting more. As much as we hate to say that there are games in dating, there are. We all want to be desired. We want there to be some attraction. You want them to leave wanting more.
00:33:31
Speaker 4: Because we don't know, you know, we don't know. Maybe the other guys, you know, Zach all the.
00:33:37
Speaker 3: No doubt, Kathy, I won't assume what they were thinking. I highly doubt know.
00:33:41
Speaker 4: I'm just gonna say, maybe they said, hey, come on, we're gonna go to the bar, come with it. I mean, I don't I doubt it. I doubt it.
00:33:46
Speaker 3: I'm gonna go with I doubt it.
00:33:48
Speaker 1: For the women out there listening, I will say there would be something very attractive to me on a first date, even second day, even today in my marriage. If we all go out to dinner and we're hanging out and the guys are saying, hey, let's go to the sports bar, and I'm like, I'd love to go, and my wife or my girlfriend at the time and be like, you guys, go have fun.
00:34:10
Speaker 2: Ben.
00:34:11
Speaker 1: I can't wait to see when you get home or Ben, I hope that we have a date tomorrow night or the next night, whenever you're available. Like there is something attractive about just being aware enough to say, Hey, I know you like me. I know you love being around me, but that doesn't mean that I have to be around all the time. Hey, we got to close up here. I'll give you each thirty seconds. Final thoughts on witnessing and being the Spies for the first date, Kathy will start with you.
00:34:41
Speaker 4: Yeah, I think I missed my calling. I think the CIA would have been a good place for me. I just have to find them. I know. I thought it was great to sort of watch from a distance, not being a participant, watching what was going on. And I guess my wish is for anyone who's out there dating, give it a chance. Be calm it. You know, you don't have to conquer the world on the first date. So I hope that Mercedes will give it a second shot, because I think that you just sometimes you don't know. Sometimes it takes a little bit of time to warm up, and it was not the most easy dating. You know, to date someone at a concert is not the easiest first date.
00:35:26
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm with you, Kathy, I would one hundred percent agree with what you say. I hope Mercedes will give it a second date. I really do. And I hope the two of them can just go to dinner next time he's in Nashville for work, or at least a phone call, a FaceTime or something to be able to speak. Because I, from an outsider, believe that it was a great first date. I think that they were both engaged, They treated each other well, they got to know each other, they found things in common, and we don't always have to lead with that initial physical chemistry. Sometimes that needs to grow and you need to find other things in common. So I'm with you, Kathy. I do hope that they go on a second date. I hope that they can figure that out from there. That would be my hope. I think it was a great first date, Benjamin, good.
00:36:15
Speaker 1: Job, hey, crushing it over here. I will say this also. I mean it when I say this, Bryce and Mercedes. I think it took courage. I think you're both great. If you're not meant for each other, you're gonna be catchius to people. This is just the fun part of breaking down an individual relationship at an individual time in a very uncomfortable scenario, but I do think my hope is they both came out of it being like, I'm glad I did it. It was worth the effort, it was worth the time, worth the evening, and we think you're both great. Hey, this is famously available breaking down with my spies for this date. Deanna and Kathy. They are good at this. In fact, I do think they might have a job at this. This would be a really fun career path for the two of them. Anyways, we're gonna be talking to Mercedes, we talked to Bryce. We're gonna be talking to a lot of people about this day, figuring out the dues, the don'ts, the ones, the needs, the red flags, the green flags, and everything good and bad that happens in dating.
00:37:13
Speaker 2: So until next time, I've been Ben, We'll talk to you soon.