July 19, 2026
A Reality Star Reacts To Upcoming Tell-All Book, Whose Side Are You On?
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RSS Feed Divorcée Kate Gosselin is reacting to fans inquiring about her son’s upcoming tell-all memoir…and her feelings might surprise you.
Plus, Jennifer Garner is praising her ex Ben Affleck and how their co-parenting experience has helped them.
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00:00:15
Speaker 1: It's Kathy Schwartz, your celebrity mentor back with my fabulous podcast producer Heather and let's get right back into some more of these celebrity divorce headline stories.
00:00:27
Speaker 2: Well, this one is this person is no stranger to the headlines. Kate Goslin compares current drama with son Colin to the negative energy she's faced in the past. And wow, Kate Goslin has faced quite a bit of negativity. Obviously, we're talking about Kate from the hit TV showback on TLC, the Kate plus eight John and Kate plus eight.
00:00:49
Speaker 3: Before that, before she got divorced.
00:00:52
Speaker 2: So right now, Colin is, you know, starting to do the press circuit for his book. But it says Kate Goslin is adamantly in good spirits despite her ongoing estrangement from son Colin ahead of the release of his tell all memoir. In the comments of Kate's Tuesday TikTok upload about life in the Wild Wild West Homestead, a social media user apologized if negative energy had affected the reality TV alum, and she responded, I am and I'm fine. This is honestly small compared to what me and my other kids have been through back in the day. Obviously, Kate shares twins Maddie and Kara, who are both twenty five and sex tuplets Colin, Joel, Aidan, Hannah, Alexis Leah all twenty two with ex husband John Gosslin. Hearing their ages first of all freaks me out because I was a very big time watcher of John Kate plus eight and I watched those babies be fed like sitting up in my chairs. So the fact that the youngest are now twenty two is crazy. So Kate was initially granted primary custody of all eight children when her and John divorced, but Colin, however, claimed that he was institutionalized by Kate after alleged behavioral issues. Her ex John, later sought custody of Colin, leading to the latter's estrangement with Kate. John also received custody of Hannah, who is still in touch with her mom. Colin is now ready to share his side of his upbringing and family drama. In his debut memoir In the Shadow of Eight, Surviving the Reality of My Childhood, he says, my life was always broadcast millions, but what was actually happening in my life was never shown. In fact, much of it has much of it was deliberately kept hidden, he told us Weekly last month. Kind of rubs me the wrong way.
00:02:53
Speaker 1: Kate's comments that she's basically happy what rubbed.
00:02:57
Speaker 2: She literally says, this is small compared to what me and kids have been through. I think that she is known in the press for kind of being a little unemotional. Anybody who watched the show would also say that she was criticized a lot back in the day for how she was basically degrading of her now ex husband on camera and emasculating him constantly. She's known for kind of like running a tight ship when it comes to these kids, and I think that you do have to take that on when you're when there's more kids than there are parents, when.
00:03:37
Speaker 1: Many kids, Yeah, yeah, got it. I had I had three, and I ran a tight ship. So I can't hold that against her.
00:03:42
Speaker 3: No, for sure.
00:03:43
Speaker 2: But I don't think I would be commenting if one of my estranged children was out there making comments about me, I wouldn't be I probably wouldn't be acknowledging it, And if I did, I would probably just say if my sonstening, I want to know, I want him to know that I love him so much.
00:04:03
Speaker 1: Well, that's and that's in the fairy tale book that you read before you go to bed at night.
00:04:07
Speaker 2: I just think as a parent, that's part of actually a public parent. I don't think that. I think it would be leading with love, and I think it would be like trying to come to situations and listen. I'm really interested actually to hear what this book is about, because he has basically said in so little words that like, he didn't have behavioral issues, and so I'm interested to hear what his experience was.
00:04:40
Speaker 3: And I'm glad that he's getting to use his voice.
00:04:43
Speaker 1: But I do find it interesting that, I mean, this is the way of Hollywood. This that show was watched by millions. It is to be brought up in the public. It's sad and yet I at the same time I understand Colin doing what he's doing. He said that this book is about truth, survival, resilience, and finding my voice after years of being silenced. If my story helps even one person feel less alone or gives them the courage to tell their own, then every difficult page was worth writing. Of course, Kate is denying all the accusations. I think again, in a perfect world, she would lead with love and Colin wouldn't feel the need. He might write his memoir but maybe not feel the need to share it with everyone. Unfortunately, that's not the way their childhood, their life has been very public, and so in some ways I understand his need to come forward and speak as truth, and I think I don't think that's the end of the story. I think more is gonna come out about this, and I think Kate can only you know it says that she's focused on her daily life for their other children. You can't just ignore a book that talks so openly about what Colin says his childhood was like, I think there's going to be more to this.
00:06:07
Speaker 2: I also think that it's a time for reflection and some humility. I think you would agree with me as a parent that there isn't really a playbook for how to be a parent. All children are different and so nobody gets it right one hundred percent of the time. And so I'm sure as a parent you could look back and say, Gosh, I wish I did XYZ different with this kid or this kid. And so maybe Kate, you take this as an opportunity to look back and say, you know what, in that moment, I thought I was doing the right thing, But clearly my child experienced something different. And for that, I'm sorry, and I would like to listen to him and hear and apologize to how I could have done better. And moving forward, I hope to be a better listener for my child and hopefully we can. You know, but there has to be some humility, and there has to be, you know, some acknowledg of like I did not do everything right.
00:07:04
Speaker 3: I am a human, this.
00:07:05
Speaker 2: Is my first time being a parent, this is my first experience.
00:07:10
Speaker 3: I was maybe she was feeling overwhelmed.
00:07:12
Speaker 1: I mean, why would you feel overwhelmed with eight children? I can't imagine.
00:07:16
Speaker 3: But also to give her some grace, she went from having a partner in her household to then all of a sudden, being the sole caretaker for these children.
00:07:26
Speaker 1: See, that is a very important thing to remember. I think I can't even imagine. I had three children and I had a husband who helped me raise them. I think probably things happen that you and I. I am a parent. I can't even imagine what her life must have been like to my children. I've admitted mistakes, I love my kids, but they know I've made mistakes raising them. Again, when you're raising children in a very public way, not to mention octuplets or sex on a television show. On a television show.
00:08:02
Speaker 2: At one point she went in film Dancing with the Stars like there was like a whole They've never had a normal lifestyle, like these kids, they never had a normal upbringing. Everything was under a microscope. I just think that the outward appearance. Obviously you and I don't know these people, but my outward appearance of watching Kate and seeing her in the public eye for so many years, is that admitting wrongdoing and taking you know, some humble pie does not come easy to her. And I hope that this experience will make her maybe take a step back and reflect and acknowledge you know, hey, I thought I was doing the right thing, but now looking back, you know the same thing. Paris Hilton has been, you know, really open with her experience. But you know that Paris was sent away to places when she was younger that were not good. Paris has been able to have and you know, maintain a relationship with her parents, and she experienced some really horrible treatment. And so when she went to those institutions as a young child and teen. So I think that do I think it's irre. You know, their relationship cannot be repaired, these two, I don't.
00:09:16
Speaker 3: I think that they can.
00:09:18
Speaker 2: But you got to meet halfway and you got to kind of probably admit that you did some wrongdoing or that, you know, looking back, I didn't do as much research as I needed to, Xyz. I had so many kids, you know, I didn't get the help I needed. And I think Colin also needs to probably take some you know, steps back and say, like, was my mom being malicious with me? Or was she trying to do the best that she could with the tools that she was given at the time.
00:09:44
Speaker 1: Well, let me just say you are given, and you're wonderful to give them both so much grace, But everything you're talking about comes from people who have done the work. They've gone back, and I don't know off either one of them how much work they've done. But I truly hope that both of them, as you said, can take a step back and that this memoir is as opposed to a book that is a tell all. I hope it is an opening for them to find a way to repair their relationship because we're only here for so long. And yeah, I hate to think that this is a relationship the.
00:10:25
Speaker 2: Cause I hate to think that this has impacted his relationship with his siblings. If that's the case, that's a real shame as well, because those are that's such a special bond. I can't you hear about twins, but sex tuplets. Yeah, like that's got to be, you know, a very serious bond. So I we're all hoping for them to get on track with each other again. And obviously I'd love to have Calling come on the pod and speak to his experience about you know, being a product of divorce and you know all of that as well.
00:10:59
Speaker 1: I was one of seven kids product of divorce, so he and I probably could share some stories.
00:11:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, wrapping it up, Jennifer Garner says, relying on incredible co parent Ben Affleck freed her to film The five Star Weekend. So Entertainment Weekly says that Jennifer Garner made the decision that when she became a mom, no film or TV work would keep her away from her kids for too long. Her three children, Violet, Sarafina, and Samuel, are now older and she's still sticking to that plan. Jennifer originally turned down the five Star Weekend because filming took place in Nova Scotia and she was not willing to be that far away from her kids. Production then moved primarily to Los Angeles, with just one month in Nantucket, making it possible for Ben to care for their three kids while she worked on the film. Jennifer said that because their kids are older and Ben stepped up, she was finally able to accept the role and didn't feel any guilt. Jennifer also says she has no regrets about slowing her career when her children were younger because she wanted to be present for them. These two continue to talk about each other publicly in such high regards, and we know that when Ben has had issues when he was with j Lo and whatnot and back and like in the interim, him and Jen have always remained tight pictures of them together, showing up to kids things together. So I think that they're a great example of putting the kids first.
00:12:44
Speaker 1: You took the words right out of my mouth. It can be done. I honestly believe they set the bar for all other couples, public couples. Hollywood couples who are in the public eye. It can be done.
00:12:58
Speaker 2: But I want to give grace to anybody listening right now who absolutely despises and hates their ex and doesn't want to be in the same room with them.
00:13:07
Speaker 3: I really do.
00:13:08
Speaker 2: And I say this, Kathy, because as much as my parents really did make it work after some years, I mean, my parents spent holidays together when my mom was passing away and in her last stages of life, there were numerous times where I showed up to see my mom, you know, and my dad would be there holding her hand, and I wasn't expecting that. And that's because there was a lot of love between them. And I'm very aware that that was not a normal situation for a lot of people and might not be for people that are listening right now. And I just want to say that, in going through my own really traumatic breakup, I've had so much compassion for people that go through your divorce and have children because I can't imagine seeing my ex again for the rest of my life. I literally can't imagine seeing them. And I know that people listening to this podcast have gone through serious traumatic divorces involving cheating and all sorts of stuff and to show up and put your feelings aside for your kids. I just want to commend people that do it, because truly, we sit here and we talk about how great it is for Ben and Jen to do it, But I can't imagine actually being in the situation and having to do it and having to put my feelings aside for my kids. I can't imagine seeing my ex with somebody else moving on and having to welcome that person into my life.
00:14:53
Speaker 3: Like it sounds so.
00:14:56
Speaker 2: Difficult, and so for anybody listening right now, that is like not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think that you can get there because you love your kids so much. I don't have children, so I don't have something to pour into like that, so I can't imagine it. And if I was a parent, I would probably want to put my kids first for sure. But if you're going through it and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and you didn't have divorced parents, just know that, like it will meet in the world to your kids when they can have those memories in those moments to look back on. I never got to go on vacation with my parents together, but I have memories of having dinner together. Like as I got older, and even after I was like in college, moved out, whatever, I would go to see my mom and she would go, oh, you know who I had dinner with the other night.
00:15:56
Speaker 3: I'd say, who did she go? Your dad? He called me up and we went and had dinner together. And it was so.
00:16:04
Speaker 2: Nice because they loved each other so much, even though their marriage ended in such a bad way. But it'll mean the world to your kids, anybody listening, if you're able to get over it. But I'm just here to say that I understand that it sounds horrific. It sounds horrific to be friends with an next I can't imagine it.
00:16:28
Speaker 3: I really can't.
00:16:29
Speaker 1: First of all, I just want to say to you, I know you, Heather, and you have so much love in your heart, and I think what you're saying comes from such a place of love, and I agree with you one hundred percent. If parents, I wish my parents could have been more like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.
00:16:49
Speaker 2: They weren't.
00:16:50
Speaker 1: It was miserable, and the trickle down effect to me and my siblings. There was some pretty horrific times. But I do think the operative word here is love and respect. And if you, if, if people going through it right now can just remember that there is sun on the other side, whatever that, you know, whatever metaphor you want to use, the sun will rise again if you can, if you can put your kids first. I think it's very difficult for some of these couples we've talked about today because they are so much in the public eye. And yeah, and you know, you and I my parents didn't have publicists. I mean, we could hide a lot that didn't have to be known. But I do think that chill you. Oh. I've always said this. You bring those children into the world, you owe them, You owe them to bring them up and have them feel love. It's just that simple for me.
00:17:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, do your best. Go talk smack about Go talk smack about your ex to your friends, like that's what they're there for, you know what I mean, Go write it in the journal. Just don't talk about it to your kids. I mean, were my parents perfect? And did they say like snarky things about each other when we were around without the of course, come on there they you know, the divorce was very.
00:18:17
Speaker 3: Not mutual.
00:18:18
Speaker 2: I will say that, and so there was a lot of animosity for a while. But you know, it's just as a kid, I didn't appreciate it like I did in these last couple of years going through my own experience, because it really gave me a lot of perspective on my dad and the kind of feelings he had when he would show up. So it gives me a lot of empathy for him, and I just my heart really goes out to single parents and people going through divorce.
00:18:55
Speaker 3: Because it is traumatic.
00:18:58
Speaker 2: It's really really traumatic, and it's going to be traumatic for your kids, and it's going to impact them in some way. I'm still finding out as an adult the way that impact.
00:19:11
Speaker 1: We never stopped growing. But let me just say to you, it the one gift that we can always give our children. And I've learned this pretty late in life. Our kids don't watch as much what we say. They watch a whole lot closer what we do. And so if you want your children, I firmly believe this, if you want your children to go up and be loving, respectful, kind adults, then you need to model that and you need to model it with everyone in your life. And some people it's easier to model with than others. But you can teach even though the divorce may be really tough on you, it's tough on your kids, but at least you can teach them how to move forward in a positive way and not be throwing daggers. That's what I learned as an adult. I wish my parents had modeled it for me. They didn't, but I've learned it as an adult.
00:20:07
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:09
Speaker 2: Well, if these divorce stories in the news sound like a cakewalk compared to your issues, are you needing some help to get through kind of this messiness and divorce? In chapter two, we can help Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes, and make sure to follow us on socials.
00:20:28
Speaker 1: I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.
Speaker 1: It's Kathy Schwartz, your celebrity mentor back with my fabulous podcast producer Heather and let's get right back into some more of these celebrity divorce headline stories.
00:00:27
Speaker 2: Well, this one is this person is no stranger to the headlines. Kate Goslin compares current drama with son Colin to the negative energy she's faced in the past. And wow, Kate Goslin has faced quite a bit of negativity. Obviously, we're talking about Kate from the hit TV showback on TLC, the Kate plus eight John and Kate plus eight.
00:00:49
Speaker 3: Before that, before she got divorced.
00:00:52
Speaker 2: So right now, Colin is, you know, starting to do the press circuit for his book. But it says Kate Goslin is adamantly in good spirits despite her ongoing estrangement from son Colin ahead of the release of his tell all memoir. In the comments of Kate's Tuesday TikTok upload about life in the Wild Wild West Homestead, a social media user apologized if negative energy had affected the reality TV alum, and she responded, I am and I'm fine. This is honestly small compared to what me and my other kids have been through back in the day. Obviously, Kate shares twins Maddie and Kara, who are both twenty five and sex tuplets Colin, Joel, Aidan, Hannah, Alexis Leah all twenty two with ex husband John Gosslin. Hearing their ages first of all freaks me out because I was a very big time watcher of John Kate plus eight and I watched those babies be fed like sitting up in my chairs. So the fact that the youngest are now twenty two is crazy. So Kate was initially granted primary custody of all eight children when her and John divorced, but Colin, however, claimed that he was institutionalized by Kate after alleged behavioral issues. Her ex John, later sought custody of Colin, leading to the latter's estrangement with Kate. John also received custody of Hannah, who is still in touch with her mom. Colin is now ready to share his side of his upbringing and family drama. In his debut memoir In the Shadow of Eight, Surviving the Reality of My Childhood, he says, my life was always broadcast millions, but what was actually happening in my life was never shown. In fact, much of it has much of it was deliberately kept hidden, he told us Weekly last month. Kind of rubs me the wrong way.
00:02:53
Speaker 1: Kate's comments that she's basically happy what rubbed.
00:02:57
Speaker 2: She literally says, this is small compared to what me and kids have been through. I think that she is known in the press for kind of being a little unemotional. Anybody who watched the show would also say that she was criticized a lot back in the day for how she was basically degrading of her now ex husband on camera and emasculating him constantly. She's known for kind of like running a tight ship when it comes to these kids, and I think that you do have to take that on when you're when there's more kids than there are parents, when.
00:03:37
Speaker 1: Many kids, Yeah, yeah, got it. I had I had three, and I ran a tight ship. So I can't hold that against her.
00:03:42
Speaker 3: No, for sure.
00:03:43
Speaker 2: But I don't think I would be commenting if one of my estranged children was out there making comments about me, I wouldn't be I probably wouldn't be acknowledging it, And if I did, I would probably just say if my sonstening, I want to know, I want him to know that I love him so much.
00:04:03
Speaker 1: Well, that's and that's in the fairy tale book that you read before you go to bed at night.
00:04:07
Speaker 2: I just think as a parent, that's part of actually a public parent. I don't think that. I think it would be leading with love, and I think it would be like trying to come to situations and listen. I'm really interested actually to hear what this book is about, because he has basically said in so little words that like, he didn't have behavioral issues, and so I'm interested to hear what his experience was.
00:04:40
Speaker 3: And I'm glad that he's getting to use his voice.
00:04:43
Speaker 1: But I do find it interesting that, I mean, this is the way of Hollywood. This that show was watched by millions. It is to be brought up in the public. It's sad and yet I at the same time I understand Colin doing what he's doing. He said that this book is about truth, survival, resilience, and finding my voice after years of being silenced. If my story helps even one person feel less alone or gives them the courage to tell their own, then every difficult page was worth writing. Of course, Kate is denying all the accusations. I think again, in a perfect world, she would lead with love and Colin wouldn't feel the need. He might write his memoir but maybe not feel the need to share it with everyone. Unfortunately, that's not the way their childhood, their life has been very public, and so in some ways I understand his need to come forward and speak as truth, and I think I don't think that's the end of the story. I think more is gonna come out about this, and I think Kate can only you know it says that she's focused on her daily life for their other children. You can't just ignore a book that talks so openly about what Colin says his childhood was like, I think there's going to be more to this.
00:06:07
Speaker 2: I also think that it's a time for reflection and some humility. I think you would agree with me as a parent that there isn't really a playbook for how to be a parent. All children are different and so nobody gets it right one hundred percent of the time. And so I'm sure as a parent you could look back and say, Gosh, I wish I did XYZ different with this kid or this kid. And so maybe Kate, you take this as an opportunity to look back and say, you know what, in that moment, I thought I was doing the right thing, But clearly my child experienced something different. And for that, I'm sorry, and I would like to listen to him and hear and apologize to how I could have done better. And moving forward, I hope to be a better listener for my child and hopefully we can. You know, but there has to be some humility, and there has to be, you know, some acknowledg of like I did not do everything right.
00:07:04
Speaker 3: I am a human, this.
00:07:05
Speaker 2: Is my first time being a parent, this is my first experience.
00:07:10
Speaker 3: I was maybe she was feeling overwhelmed.
00:07:12
Speaker 1: I mean, why would you feel overwhelmed with eight children? I can't imagine.
00:07:16
Speaker 3: But also to give her some grace, she went from having a partner in her household to then all of a sudden, being the sole caretaker for these children.
00:07:26
Speaker 1: See, that is a very important thing to remember. I think I can't even imagine. I had three children and I had a husband who helped me raise them. I think probably things happen that you and I. I am a parent. I can't even imagine what her life must have been like to my children. I've admitted mistakes, I love my kids, but they know I've made mistakes raising them. Again, when you're raising children in a very public way, not to mention octuplets or sex on a television show. On a television show.
00:08:02
Speaker 2: At one point she went in film Dancing with the Stars like there was like a whole They've never had a normal lifestyle, like these kids, they never had a normal upbringing. Everything was under a microscope. I just think that the outward appearance. Obviously you and I don't know these people, but my outward appearance of watching Kate and seeing her in the public eye for so many years, is that admitting wrongdoing and taking you know, some humble pie does not come easy to her. And I hope that this experience will make her maybe take a step back and reflect and acknowledge you know, hey, I thought I was doing the right thing, but now looking back, you know the same thing. Paris Hilton has been, you know, really open with her experience. But you know that Paris was sent away to places when she was younger that were not good. Paris has been able to have and you know, maintain a relationship with her parents, and she experienced some really horrible treatment. And so when she went to those institutions as a young child and teen. So I think that do I think it's irre. You know, their relationship cannot be repaired, these two, I don't.
00:09:16
Speaker 3: I think that they can.
00:09:18
Speaker 2: But you got to meet halfway and you got to kind of probably admit that you did some wrongdoing or that, you know, looking back, I didn't do as much research as I needed to, Xyz. I had so many kids, you know, I didn't get the help I needed. And I think Colin also needs to probably take some you know, steps back and say, like, was my mom being malicious with me? Or was she trying to do the best that she could with the tools that she was given at the time.
00:09:44
Speaker 1: Well, let me just say you are given, and you're wonderful to give them both so much grace, But everything you're talking about comes from people who have done the work. They've gone back, and I don't know off either one of them how much work they've done. But I truly hope that both of them, as you said, can take a step back and that this memoir is as opposed to a book that is a tell all. I hope it is an opening for them to find a way to repair their relationship because we're only here for so long. And yeah, I hate to think that this is a relationship the.
00:10:25
Speaker 2: Cause I hate to think that this has impacted his relationship with his siblings. If that's the case, that's a real shame as well, because those are that's such a special bond. I can't you hear about twins, but sex tuplets. Yeah, like that's got to be, you know, a very serious bond. So I we're all hoping for them to get on track with each other again. And obviously I'd love to have Calling come on the pod and speak to his experience about you know, being a product of divorce and you know all of that as well.
00:10:59
Speaker 1: I was one of seven kids product of divorce, so he and I probably could share some stories.
00:11:05
Speaker 2: Yeah, well, wrapping it up, Jennifer Garner says, relying on incredible co parent Ben Affleck freed her to film The five Star Weekend. So Entertainment Weekly says that Jennifer Garner made the decision that when she became a mom, no film or TV work would keep her away from her kids for too long. Her three children, Violet, Sarafina, and Samuel, are now older and she's still sticking to that plan. Jennifer originally turned down the five Star Weekend because filming took place in Nova Scotia and she was not willing to be that far away from her kids. Production then moved primarily to Los Angeles, with just one month in Nantucket, making it possible for Ben to care for their three kids while she worked on the film. Jennifer said that because their kids are older and Ben stepped up, she was finally able to accept the role and didn't feel any guilt. Jennifer also says she has no regrets about slowing her career when her children were younger because she wanted to be present for them. These two continue to talk about each other publicly in such high regards, and we know that when Ben has had issues when he was with j Lo and whatnot and back and like in the interim, him and Jen have always remained tight pictures of them together, showing up to kids things together. So I think that they're a great example of putting the kids first.
00:12:44
Speaker 1: You took the words right out of my mouth. It can be done. I honestly believe they set the bar for all other couples, public couples. Hollywood couples who are in the public eye. It can be done.
00:12:58
Speaker 2: But I want to give grace to anybody listening right now who absolutely despises and hates their ex and doesn't want to be in the same room with them.
00:13:07
Speaker 3: I really do.
00:13:08
Speaker 2: And I say this, Kathy, because as much as my parents really did make it work after some years, I mean, my parents spent holidays together when my mom was passing away and in her last stages of life, there were numerous times where I showed up to see my mom, you know, and my dad would be there holding her hand, and I wasn't expecting that. And that's because there was a lot of love between them. And I'm very aware that that was not a normal situation for a lot of people and might not be for people that are listening right now. And I just want to say that, in going through my own really traumatic breakup, I've had so much compassion for people that go through your divorce and have children because I can't imagine seeing my ex again for the rest of my life. I literally can't imagine seeing them. And I know that people listening to this podcast have gone through serious traumatic divorces involving cheating and all sorts of stuff and to show up and put your feelings aside for your kids. I just want to commend people that do it, because truly, we sit here and we talk about how great it is for Ben and Jen to do it, But I can't imagine actually being in the situation and having to do it and having to put my feelings aside for my kids. I can't imagine seeing my ex with somebody else moving on and having to welcome that person into my life.
00:14:53
Speaker 3: Like it sounds so.
00:14:56
Speaker 2: Difficult, and so for anybody listening right now, that is like not seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I think that you can get there because you love your kids so much. I don't have children, so I don't have something to pour into like that, so I can't imagine it. And if I was a parent, I would probably want to put my kids first for sure. But if you're going through it and you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and you didn't have divorced parents, just know that, like it will meet in the world to your kids when they can have those memories in those moments to look back on. I never got to go on vacation with my parents together, but I have memories of having dinner together. Like as I got older, and even after I was like in college, moved out, whatever, I would go to see my mom and she would go, oh, you know who I had dinner with the other night.
00:15:56
Speaker 3: I'd say, who did she go? Your dad? He called me up and we went and had dinner together. And it was so.
00:16:04
Speaker 2: Nice because they loved each other so much, even though their marriage ended in such a bad way. But it'll mean the world to your kids, anybody listening, if you're able to get over it. But I'm just here to say that I understand that it sounds horrific. It sounds horrific to be friends with an next I can't imagine it.
00:16:28
Speaker 3: I really can't.
00:16:29
Speaker 1: First of all, I just want to say to you, I know you, Heather, and you have so much love in your heart, and I think what you're saying comes from such a place of love, and I agree with you one hundred percent. If parents, I wish my parents could have been more like Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck.
00:16:49
Speaker 2: They weren't.
00:16:50
Speaker 1: It was miserable, and the trickle down effect to me and my siblings. There was some pretty horrific times. But I do think the operative word here is love and respect. And if you, if, if people going through it right now can just remember that there is sun on the other side, whatever that, you know, whatever metaphor you want to use, the sun will rise again if you can, if you can put your kids first. I think it's very difficult for some of these couples we've talked about today because they are so much in the public eye. And yeah, and you know, you and I my parents didn't have publicists. I mean, we could hide a lot that didn't have to be known. But I do think that chill you. Oh. I've always said this. You bring those children into the world, you owe them, You owe them to bring them up and have them feel love. It's just that simple for me.
00:17:52
Speaker 2: Yeah, do your best. Go talk smack about Go talk smack about your ex to your friends, like that's what they're there for, you know what I mean, Go write it in the journal. Just don't talk about it to your kids. I mean, were my parents perfect? And did they say like snarky things about each other when we were around without the of course, come on there they you know, the divorce was very.
00:18:17
Speaker 3: Not mutual.
00:18:18
Speaker 2: I will say that, and so there was a lot of animosity for a while. But you know, it's just as a kid, I didn't appreciate it like I did in these last couple of years going through my own experience, because it really gave me a lot of perspective on my dad and the kind of feelings he had when he would show up. So it gives me a lot of empathy for him, and I just my heart really goes out to single parents and people going through divorce.
00:18:55
Speaker 3: Because it is traumatic.
00:18:58
Speaker 2: It's really really traumatic, and it's going to be traumatic for your kids, and it's going to impact them in some way. I'm still finding out as an adult the way that impact.
00:19:11
Speaker 1: We never stopped growing. But let me just say to you, it the one gift that we can always give our children. And I've learned this pretty late in life. Our kids don't watch as much what we say. They watch a whole lot closer what we do. And so if you want your children, I firmly believe this, if you want your children to go up and be loving, respectful, kind adults, then you need to model that and you need to model it with everyone in your life. And some people it's easier to model with than others. But you can teach even though the divorce may be really tough on you, it's tough on your kids, but at least you can teach them how to move forward in a positive way and not be throwing daggers. That's what I learned as an adult. I wish my parents had modeled it for me. They didn't, but I've learned it as an adult.
00:20:07
Speaker 3: Yeah.
00:20:09
Speaker 2: Well, if these divorce stories in the news sound like a cakewalk compared to your issues, are you needing some help to get through kind of this messiness and divorce? In chapter two, we can help Send us an email or leave us a voicemail. All the info is in the show notes, and make sure to follow us on socials.
00:20:28
Speaker 1: I Do Part two an iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective.