Dec. 15, 2025

Soul Statements for Mindful Relationships

Soul Statements for Mindful Relationships
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Corey Lyon Folsom shares his transformation from a shy, reserved child to a love and relationship coach. He explains how “soul statements” help reframe negative self-talk, the role of stillness and mindfulness in uncovering inner truth, and practical ways to improve communication, strengthen values, and create deeper, more authentic relationships. https://corerelationship.com/soul-statements-book/

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WEBVTT

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This program is designed to provide general information with regards

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to the subject matters covered. This information is given with

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the understanding that neither the hosts, guests, sponsors, or station

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are engaged in rendering any specific and personal medical, financial,

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legal counseling, professional service, or any advice. You should seek

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the services of competent professionals before applying or trying any

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suggested ideas.

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At the end of the day, it's not about what

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you have or even what you've accomplished. It's about what

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you've done with those accomplishments. It's about who you've lifted at,

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who you've made better. It's about what you've given back.

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Denzel Washington, Welcome to Inspire Vision. Our sole purpose is

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to elevate the lives of others and to inspire you

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to do the same.

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Corey, Welcome to the show.

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Thanks glad to be here.

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Hey, I'm excited to have you here.

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It's an interesting topic and a book that I've had

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a chance to kind of go through and look at

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and so forth.

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So what I'd love for you to do, though, is

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to share with the.

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Audience kind of what your journey has been and what

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brought you to the point of writing the book, and

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then we can you know, you can talk about the

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book a little bit, but then we'll get into more detail.

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Okay, Well, I certainly wasn't born with a host of

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communication skills and the ability to do difficult conversations gracefully.

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In fact, I was super shy. I'm painfully shy as

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a child. It was a wonderful boyhood a small town

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rural Maine, and a great family. And when I got

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out into the bigger world, I wondered why life wasn't

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just responding with awesomeness because I was such a good person.

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And so after trials, tribulation, triumphs, I decided I have

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to learn to do all of this better, and so

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I enrolled in bunches of personal development workshops, started to

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learn that honesty really means honesty on the inside. And

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as I got braver, being willing to speak up in

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defense of my heart or my needs. So and that

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just led me into I hired a love coach, and

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that led me eventually to becoming a love and relationship coach.

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And what happened was I started asking people what was

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going on in their head, what were they telling themselves

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at moments of distress or hopelessness or helplessness or anger.

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And I realized that we can pre make some phrase

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or affirmation for those moments to go, oh yeah, when

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I'm catastrophizing, I'm thinking the worst about a situation or someone,

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I can say, you know what, I used to think that,

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or that's my old way of thinking. What's really true?

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Is I'm okay or some form of that, And so

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that basically became soul statements. And I was having such

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good response that I decided to write an article and

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I thought, you know, this actually should be a book.

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And so because I included a lot more communication, not

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quite techniques, but just ways of doing communication and tips,

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and so I wanted it to be like a stand

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in for me. So the books like having a life

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coach right there by your side, with lots of things

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to do and things to avoid and personal journaling exercises

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sprinkled throughout. So yeah, that's how we got here.

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Well, okay, and you know, I was doing a podcast

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yesterday and it was interesting as we were talking about

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that awareness. You know, at what point in time do

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we say, Okay, enough is enough.

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I've got to do something about this.

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And been having the courage to do What was your

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moment in time where you finally said to yourself, you

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know what, I've got to do something different. And as

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you mentioned, you hired a love coach.

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Can you share that with us a little short?

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Yeah, Well, in two thousand and nine, early two thousand

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and nine, I went through a very sudden, unexpected and

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traumatic breakup with my intimate partner of seven years. And

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it was just a huge shock, and I thought, this

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isn't the first time. I don't want to just keep

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as a seven year five year thing. I want to

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really I realized that the common denominator in my past

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relationships is me, and so so let's work on me.

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And I had it and so and and I actually

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met someone well I was very interested in in partnering with.

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And I realized she needs someone to meet her at

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a higher level, someone who is more fearless than me,

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who's more more graceful at bringing up difficult subjects, who

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is less defended and willing to hear feedback and all

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this stuff. And so basically I had to up my game.

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And that's when I hired the love coach, and I said.

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Help, well, and you got into Tontri yoga.

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Talk talk about that a little bit and what what

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effect did that have and what is it exactly? Because

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everyone talks about yoga nowadays, and I think it has

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changed a lot from from actual activity and physical activity

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to a combination of that plush mental mindfulness.

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Yeah, and so the school of Tantra actually like three

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schools that I went to, they really focus on slowing down,

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paying attention, paying attention to the moment, the texture and

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the texture of the moment. You're inhabiting the here and now,

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so to speak. And so it's really to me tntra

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is that attitude and practice of paying attention to the moment.

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And so I say, the more deeply you inhabit the moment,

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the more you are being tonric. And so it's about

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slowing down and paying attention. And we also kind of

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have this overarching attitude too of the same creator who

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made your mind, made your body, including the parts we

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used usually don't talk about.

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And so.

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It's all okay, you know, the fears, the ego, that everything,

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it's all okay, and just be. The more we can

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just be and be undefended and live life on life's terms.

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We have, our experience approves.

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Well, and you know, you said something that I really appreciate.

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And again, this gets to be a common theme of

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people as I've talked to them, and I think it's

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important so much the audience understand that, you know, you

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took personal responsibility as you say, ultimately, you know, as

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we go through relationships and as ultimately they don't work,

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you know, and you can say, well, yo, she was

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this or he was that or whatever that happens to be.

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But the reality, and you hit it right on the

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head is you know what, it's me. I've got to

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take personal responsibility for that. And I think that for

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people to get to the point where they're aware enough

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of themselves and willing and humble enough to say, you

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know what, this is my problem and I've.

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Got to figure it out. And I love what you talk.

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About when you talk about the contra the mindfulness and

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all of that type of stuff. So as you look

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at that, did you find that as you got into

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all of the meditation and doing all of those type

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of things, that you started to discover some subconscious imprints

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that literally were causing your behavior.

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Yeah, And along with the practice of being more still

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being more mindful, really being present with whomever is in

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front of you. It brings up a certain level of

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awareness of your own motivations, and so it's a really

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I mean, I heard Tony Robbins say one time that

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true honesty isn't the ability to tell someone else what

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you think of them. It's about being honest about why

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you did something or didn't do something. And so being

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honest with myself about me is really at the heart

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of it. And also in Tantra, we say there is

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a beloved that dwells within and so you're not necessarily

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you're not trying to be that kind of taker, like, oh,

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I want an experience. I want an experience as much

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as I want to co create something beautiful and that

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could be just some of my most deeply impactful contric

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experiences have been with eye gazing, where you're doing your

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you're moving your energy, but you're also engaged with the

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eyes of another person, and just it's so connecting and

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spiritual and deep and powerful all at the same time.

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It's really a profound thing.

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Well, and you know, I think that I think it's

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really important to understand, and over the years I've begun

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to really appreciate this, you know, you talk about still

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you talk about mindfulness, and I think for a huge

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majority of the people that they really don't even know

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how to experience that. And so as you work with people,

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how do you help them number one, to develop that

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sense of stillness and of mindfulness so that all ultimately

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they can start to experience that. And as you said,

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you know, we create our own experiences in life. You know,

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if we want to be victims, then everything's happening to

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us by somebody else. But if we start to really

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take that responsibility and realize we create our own experiences,

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then we can create what we really want to create.

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But talk about the stillness, talk about the mindfulness. How

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does someone get to that point to where they can

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start to experience that?

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Yeah, I think it's a really good idea to try

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different things that maybe you haven't done before. But also

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where where in your life do you feel most connected

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to you? And for some people that might be on

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a run, or other people it might be sitting on

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a meditation pillow. Another person might be journaling or swimming.

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So wherever you feel most connected to you, that's a

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good place to start, and that's a good place to

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start paying deeper attention, and I'm a really big fan

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of journaling and also spending at least a couple of

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minutes every day just in silence and the meditation I

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really like at this time is I'm breathing. I know

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I'm breathing, I'm watching my breath, But basically, I'm trying

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to become still. I'm trying to become still with my body,

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with my thoughts. And the more still I become, more still,

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I feel that's the goal. And I'm my prayer, if

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you want to call it, that, is to then offer

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my stillness to the great stillness. And I'm really enjoying

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that well.

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And you know, it's interesting as you look at the

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major religions in the world, whether it be Christianity, Islam, Buddhism, Hinduism,

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they all started with someone who literally took the time

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to be still, to be mindful, to meditate, and to

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gain that insight.

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For their followers.

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And I find that fascinating that they really are the

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ones that set that example for us, and yet we

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seem not to follow it at all.

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Well, there's great benefit in being still, be still in

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no be still in myself, be still in no God.

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I mean it's really at the heart, Like you said,

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it's at the heart of a relationship with yourself really well.

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And when you talk about mindfulness, what do you mean

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by mindfulness?

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By mindfulness, I mean an awareness of what you're doing

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and maybe why you're doing it. So if I'm if

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I'm eating, or a better example, if I'm doing the dishes,

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I want to be doing the dishes. While I'm doing

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the dishes. I don't want to be thinking about something

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other than doing the dishes. I just want to be

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here doing that.

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And you know that's a challenge for a lot of us,

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and particularly I know that you know, we have certain

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situations in our lives where we constantly think about this

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and that, and it can be really a challenge for

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that to happen. So then you talk about connecting with people,

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and I want to talk about this a little bit.

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You talk about communication.

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Let's talk about, because you're getting into the relationship aspect

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of this, what is good communication? How do you help

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people to understand what communication is, How is it good

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and how does it make a difference?

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Or I think good communication and is speaking from your

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own experience. In other words, I'm not starting sentences with

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me with you. You know, you're a dummy dog. You

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did this. I didn't like when you So it's more

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about I. And so in other words, are you interested

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in hearing my experience when such an such a thing happened,

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it felt like you know, So so you're you're talking

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about the impact of this other person maybe on you.

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It's like, oh, you know, when you did this thing

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without asking, I got a warm feeling in my heart.

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It makes me feel good. I'm I apre. I have

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appreciation because everyone's the expert on why they did something,

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so they don't necessarily need to be schooled. I mean,

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and we can argue about why that was important or

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why it wasn't, But you are the and you are

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the expert on how it was like to be you.

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And so that's that's what you want to communicate. And

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the more you can be connected to your own center,

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to your values, to your value. So values might be

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I have a value for respect, for safety, for play,

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for serenity and so, and you want to speak up

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in defense of those values. And so if we can

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speak to them and for them, because we're starting off

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in a connected place back to and we get it's

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easier to be connected to your values, if you've spent

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time in silence or feeling connected to yourself, feeling those values,

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feeling the importance of respect and being respectful, kindness and so.

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And if I believe myself to be a kind person,

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here's what honesty comes in. And I act in an

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unkind way, I either have to change how I think

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about myself. Well, maybe I'm not such a kind person.

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Or I go, oh, I slipped, that's not really who

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I really am. Let me, you know, make amends, or

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let me return to a better way of being, let

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me apologize, let me move forward and put kindness more

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in the in the front versus in the rearview mirror.

256
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Well, and I love that.

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I've been involved in behavioral analysis for a number of years,

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and as we do that analysis with people and particularly

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with couples, but even in business, what I found fascinating

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is when you get in and start to do that

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and look not only at the personality traits.

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But also the values, the motivators.

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And when you have a couple that are struggling with

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that communication and with that relationship, and you can sit

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down with them and say, all right, you know, here's

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Joe these are his values. This is how he wants

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to be communicated with and spoken to. Here's Jill, and

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guess what this is how she wants to be And

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they're not the same. So then all of a sudden,

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if there's really that true respect, that connection and so forth,

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then Joe is going to start to realize, you know,

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when I speak to Jill, I need to speak to

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her in a way that she appreciates and feel safe

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and vice versa. And so I think you hit it

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right on the head that we can when we can

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start to open up about our own personal values and

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be transparent about that.

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But then also the individuals that we're working with are

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communicating with, are willing to do that also, And we listen,

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and all of a sudden, it's like, Okay, I'm not

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going to talk the way I choose to talk. I'm

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going to talk the way it's important for them to

283
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feel safe. And I think you've hit on such an

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important point. Yeah.

285
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And and the thing is, Jill can also say, you know,

286
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these are actually the exact words I'd like to hear.

287
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Are you able to do that? And the and Jack

288
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can say, oh, those are the words wonderful. I can

289
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do that. Sometimes men need even a little more coaching

290
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at that granular level.

291
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Well, they do.

292
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And what makes them fun is, all of a sudden,

293
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if Joe or Jack or whoever is not using those words,

294
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you know, then Jill could look and smile and laugh

295
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and say, okay, where were those words, and all of

296
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a sudden, rather than an antagonistic situation, you start to laugh,

297
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and to me, laughter, sure's a whole lot of ills.

298
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Yeah.

299
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Yeah. And just the more we're connected to who we

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really are, beneath circumstance, beneath wherry, then we can speak

301
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from our values. And that that's you know, part of

302
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what soul statements do it. It's just you know, what's

303
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right about me is always available. That's a great soul statement.

304
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So when we're when we're screwing up, we can remember

305
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that and get and go okay, you know, I can

306
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get to what's right about me. It's available, you know,

307
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without a bunch of conversation. I can just go back

308
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to realignment and have that kind of emotional coherence with

309
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you know, the capable of me versus you know, the

310
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critical me or the other me.

311
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Well, and you mentioned, you know a while ago about ego.

312
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And I think that's something really important for people to

313
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understand how ego literally affects our life, either for the

314
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good or if we are really still.

315
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And mindful, we don't allow it.

316
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But talk a little bit about ego and what your

317
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experience has been with that.

318
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Yeah, so with with ego, the well, one anecdote to

319
00:19:50.720 --> 00:19:56.920
ego is acting as if I'm not the most important

320
00:19:56.920 --> 00:20:01.799
person in the room and making my making this my companion,

321
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whoever they may be, maybe a coworker, making their experience important.

322
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And one of the ways we can offer that is

323
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through acknowledgment. And one of the things I love about acknowledgment.

324
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We can say, oh, I get this is a big

325
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problem for you. I see that you're distressed. Well, I

326
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don't have to agree that they should be distressed. I

327
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can disagree with their whole premise, but I don't have

328
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to say that. I could just say I get that

329
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you're distressed, and it's like, yeah, I am, thank you.

330
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So it's just that acknowledgment is a kindness. And I've

331
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also heard the word ego as an acronym for edging

332
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God out, And it's when I think I'm the most

333
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important and my needs and you know, the times that

334
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I get off, shall we say, a little snarky in

335
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my own life are inevitably the times where I'm thinking

336
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about me, not about the experience of another person.

337
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Well, and we hold onto things. We want a bigger house,

338
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we want this, we want that. I have to be right,

339
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and you hit it on the head. So often someone

340
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will say something that we totally disagree with and we

341
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have to say, you know.

342
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What, that's so wrong, here's what's right. And that is.

343
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Happening now in the country, you know, in the US

344
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so much and creating such disparity and anger and all

345
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of that going on. But to be able to sit

346
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back and as you say, the stillness and mindfulness and say, okay,

347
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you know what, I'm understanding what you're saying from your

348
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point of view.

349
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I can see how you think.

350
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About that, and then shut up rather than saying, but

351
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here's what the truth is. And it's interesting to me

352
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that we don't seem to be able to do that often,

353
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and yet that becomes the key to not only good communication,

354
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but to good relationships and connection with other people.

355
00:22:03.480 --> 00:22:06.799
Yeah, curiosity will take a personal long way, you know,

356
00:22:07.000 --> 00:22:11.039
especially if somebody did something that I find offensive or

357
00:22:11.039 --> 00:22:15.559
I'm angry that they did this or that. The A

358
00:22:15.680 --> 00:22:18.920
really good approach is to get curious, you know, especially

359
00:22:18.960 --> 00:22:22.079
if it's like if it's your child. You know, oh,

360
00:22:22.480 --> 00:22:25.599
you just jumped into the pool with all your clothes

361
00:22:25.640 --> 00:22:27.839
on that I just took out of the dryer and

362
00:22:27.880 --> 00:22:31.480
put on you, you know, instead of yelling and your little

363
00:22:32.039 --> 00:22:37.680
you know, dummy dog, what you know, you don't just say, hey, man,

364
00:22:39.480 --> 00:22:41.200
how come you didn't take your clothes off before you

365
00:22:41.240 --> 00:22:44.759
got in the water. Just see what they have to say.

366
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It's a better place to start.

367
00:22:47.480 --> 00:22:49.519
Well, And you know, as we get to your book

368
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and soul statements and really those are affirmations, okay, Yeah,

369
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And what I what I find is, as I've studied,

370
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as I've got different sort of vfications and so forth,

371
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and we've talked a lot about affirmations. It's interesting that

372
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people will use affirmations but they don't really believe them,

373
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you know. And so as you talk about that, and

374
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as I looked through your book and saw, you know,

375
00:23:15.599 --> 00:23:17.319
a lot of the stuff you were talking about, one

376
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of the things that came to my mind is what's

377
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the difference between truth versus hope?

378
00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:25.279
When you start to use affirmations, and then we'll get

379
00:23:25.319 --> 00:23:26.480
into that a little bit more.

380
00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:30.640
But truth versus hope, how do you create an affirmation

381
00:23:31.480 --> 00:23:36.519
that your mind and your soul can believe rather than

382
00:23:36.559 --> 00:23:39.759
an affirmation of hope that you're not sure about.

383
00:23:40.279 --> 00:23:44.920
Yeah, well, you don't want to trick your brain or

384
00:23:45.000 --> 00:23:49.160
attempt to trick your brain, I should say, because your cells,

385
00:23:49.200 --> 00:23:54.079
know your bones, know your subconscious nos. And so with

386
00:23:55.519 --> 00:23:58.680
the kind of affirmation I'm talking of and writing of,

387
00:23:59.400 --> 00:24:03.039
you're not trying to inhabit a future state or a

388
00:24:03.079 --> 00:24:08.119
desired outcome. You're not trying to will yourself into you know,

389
00:24:08.200 --> 00:24:13.759
a different body or something like that. You're reminding yourself

390
00:24:13.799 --> 00:24:18.680
of your own resourcefulness. And so I mean, so you

391
00:24:18.720 --> 00:24:22.039
can remind yourself what you're made of and that helps

392
00:24:22.079 --> 00:24:24.240
shift you into a better state. So I can say,

393
00:24:24.279 --> 00:24:27.799
as a soul statement, I have grit inside me, and

394
00:24:27.960 --> 00:24:32.119
I might use that when I'm feeling unsure or like

395
00:24:32.240 --> 00:24:34.279
I don't know if I can do this or figure

396
00:24:34.279 --> 00:24:37.720
this out. You're like, you know what, that's an old thought.

397
00:24:38.119 --> 00:24:40.680
The truth is I have grit inside me. I'm made

398
00:24:40.720 --> 00:24:43.759
of tough stuff. And you're like, oh, yeah, I am.

399
00:24:44.240 --> 00:24:50.559
And so it's just increasing your resourcefulness and getting you too,

400
00:24:50.599 --> 00:24:54.680
that to be aligned with the more empowered you.

401
00:24:55.240 --> 00:24:57.759
Well, and as you say that, what comes to my

402
00:24:57.839 --> 00:25:00.759
mind is, you know, you say I have GrITT and

403
00:25:00.799 --> 00:25:04.759
so forth, but the reality is you've got these subconscious imprints.

404
00:25:04.799 --> 00:25:07.440
It says you're not good enough, you're not powerful at all.

405
00:25:08.000 --> 00:25:12.279
Unless you work on those. That affirmation doesn't work well.

406
00:25:12.440 --> 00:25:17.559
You You you want to counter that I'm not good

407
00:25:17.640 --> 00:25:21.440
enough by saying I used to think that. I used

408
00:25:21.480 --> 00:25:25.160
to think that. What's true is and you know you've

409
00:25:25.200 --> 00:25:28.079
got it right when you just feel more solid all

410
00:25:28.119 --> 00:25:31.519
of a sudden, and there's there's some kind of a

411
00:25:31.599 --> 00:25:36.039
little molecular or energetic shift in your field, like you're

412
00:25:36.119 --> 00:25:39.319
just like, yeah, I'm I'm a loved child of God,

413
00:25:39.839 --> 00:25:43.240
and it's going to be okay or whatever. It's going

414
00:25:43.319 --> 00:25:48.160
to really anchor you into your resourcefulness, your your more

415
00:25:48.240 --> 00:25:52.559
loving kind self. And because the truth, the truth is,

416
00:25:52.680 --> 00:25:57.119
we are resourceful. And I actually have survived every bad

417
00:25:57.200 --> 00:26:00.240
day of my life up to this point. I meet

418
00:26:00.279 --> 00:26:02.880
it through every bad day, so there is some amount

419
00:26:02.920 --> 00:26:06.000
of grit there that I can remind myself well.

420
00:26:06.079 --> 00:26:08.880
And as you say, you know, as we've talked about it.

421
00:26:09.119 --> 00:26:12.440
When you can start to practice stillness, when you can

422
00:26:12.480 --> 00:26:18.240
start to practice mindfulness and meditation, and if you're really

423
00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:21.599
focused on that personal transformation, all of a sudden you

424
00:26:21.640 --> 00:26:25.319
start to become aware of those subconscious imprints. And as

425
00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:28.440
you say, the minute that you're aware of them, then

426
00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:30.599
you can say, you know, this is what I used

427
00:26:30.599 --> 00:26:34.680
to think, But the reality is that's not true.

428
00:26:35.079 --> 00:26:38.119
That's right. And sometimes I'll even do a little smirk,

429
00:26:38.720 --> 00:26:43.000
hell like physically smirk and go, oh my gosh, I

430
00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:45.759
can't believe I'm thinking that again. I thought that so

431
00:26:45.839 --> 00:26:49.720
many times. It's not true. Doesn't work. What's true? Is

432
00:26:49.960 --> 00:26:54.599
I mean, come on, come on, brain, you know, like

433
00:26:54.759 --> 00:26:59.839
that's an old tape. And the truth is that my

434
00:27:00.039 --> 00:27:02.680
soul knows what to do. My heart is a trusted guide.

435
00:27:02.960 --> 00:27:06.720
Or you know, I have a client and you know,

436
00:27:07.279 --> 00:27:10.119
I've been spouting off different ones, but she just picked

437
00:27:10.119 --> 00:27:12.880
one and that's awesome. She just says I got this,

438
00:27:13.480 --> 00:27:16.559
and it's like, okay, all right, and that works for

439
00:27:16.599 --> 00:27:19.240
her and she applies it to everything. I got this,

440
00:27:19.839 --> 00:27:23.400
and that's how she gets it, you know, into a

441
00:27:23.440 --> 00:27:26.880
little bit better of a thought, which then can propel

442
00:27:26.960 --> 00:27:30.039
you to the next right action for the next mass action.

443
00:27:30.440 --> 00:27:33.359
Let's talk about scientifically, what does that do to the

444
00:27:33.440 --> 00:27:38.759
brain when we, number one, are able to recognize these

445
00:27:39.319 --> 00:27:43.359
subconscious imprints and so forth and beliefs that have been

446
00:27:43.400 --> 00:27:46.720
affecting us in a negative way, and we start to

447
00:27:46.839 --> 00:27:51.160
use those affirmations, those soul statements in a way that

448
00:27:51.799 --> 00:27:55.160
are honest and we really believe them, what does that

449
00:27:55.240 --> 00:27:56.799
do scientifically to our brain?

450
00:27:57.240 --> 00:28:01.039
Well, I don't know about the science. I just know

451
00:28:01.200 --> 00:28:04.519
that when I really get it, I just it's like

452
00:28:04.599 --> 00:28:10.039
my bones agree and they go, yeah, it's okay. You know,

453
00:28:10.440 --> 00:28:16.480
there's an okayness about it and a deepening and a sureness.

454
00:28:17.000 --> 00:28:20.319
And I heard Tony Robbins say one time, he said,

455
00:28:20.880 --> 00:28:23.119
you know, our minds are designed to look for what's wrong,

456
00:28:23.680 --> 00:28:27.279
and what's wrong is always available, so is what's right.

457
00:28:27.799 --> 00:28:30.799
And that was actually one of the kernels that led

458
00:28:30.839 --> 00:28:34.839
me to soul statements. I'm like, yeah, so of course

459
00:28:34.920 --> 00:28:39.599
we're catastrophizing, we're angry, we're thinking the worst, we're maybe

460
00:28:40.400 --> 00:28:44.759
self deprecating on the inside, and we can do all that.

461
00:28:44.839 --> 00:28:47.240
We're really good at it. We've got plenty of practice,

462
00:28:47.359 --> 00:28:51.240
we all have, and we can also script in advance

463
00:28:51.880 --> 00:28:56.480
that thing, that statement that counters that that's more true actually,

464
00:28:56.880 --> 00:28:59.720
and we can go, oh wait, I got something right

465
00:28:59.720 --> 00:29:04.400
here back pocket. You know, it's like, oh I got this,

466
00:29:05.079 --> 00:29:07.640
you know, like a little postcard to yourself.

467
00:29:08.079 --> 00:29:11.200
Well, I'm And the reason I asked that question is

468
00:29:11.200 --> 00:29:14.720
because you know, in my mind, our lives are just

469
00:29:14.759 --> 00:29:17.799
a series of habits, and those habits are based on

470
00:29:18.480 --> 00:29:23.240
those subconscious belief systems, imprints, whatever we want to call them.

471
00:29:23.720 --> 00:29:27.839
And yet, how do we change habits? Well, we have

472
00:29:27.960 --> 00:29:31.079
to consciously be able to do that. But what happens

473
00:29:31.319 --> 00:29:35.440
is you have developed neural pathways that continue to confirm

474
00:29:35.519 --> 00:29:38.920
those old habits, and the only way to change that

475
00:29:39.079 --> 00:29:42.319
on a permanent basis is to start to move away

476
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:45.519
from those pathways and to create new neural pathways. And

477
00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:48.319
so what really hit me is you talk about the

478
00:29:48.359 --> 00:29:51.759
soul statements, these affirmations, and particularly if you're doing it

479
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:54.640
through meditation and some of these other things, what you're

480
00:29:54.640 --> 00:29:59.519
really doing is you're changing those neural pathways, and literally

481
00:29:59.640 --> 00:30:03.519
you're changing your brain and your thinking to the point

482
00:30:03.599 --> 00:30:07.240
where you don't believe that old stuff anymore, because now

483
00:30:07.319 --> 00:30:10.240
you have created a new life, new neural pathways and

484
00:30:10.319 --> 00:30:13.000
it has become a new habit of positivity.

485
00:30:13.440 --> 00:30:19.000
Mm. Absolutely. And you know the other thing is you

486
00:30:19.039 --> 00:30:21.559
can add a what I call it, I write about

487
00:30:21.559 --> 00:30:24.279
this in the book a power gesture, and you know,

488
00:30:24.400 --> 00:30:26.839
like a kind of a you know, little kind of

489
00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:30.559
a thing, or fists in the air, or just you know,

490
00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:33.319
hand on the heart, or you can even if you're

491
00:30:33.359 --> 00:30:36.000
in a place where it might not be appropriate or

492
00:30:36.039 --> 00:30:38.160
feel weird or you don't want to draw attention to yourself,

493
00:30:38.640 --> 00:30:42.279
you can just imagine your hand going over your heart

494
00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:45.559
and saying, my inner knowing is available to me. Or

495
00:30:46.039 --> 00:30:49.839
you know, I can trust love. I have a beloved

496
00:30:49.880 --> 00:30:56.160
that lives within Okay, And so that involving the physiology

497
00:30:57.559 --> 00:31:00.200
kind of gives it a little bit more. How are

498
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:01.160
too well?

499
00:31:01.279 --> 00:31:04.480
How important is it to observe your conversation with yourself?

500
00:31:04.480 --> 00:31:06.079
I know you have a whole chapter of that in

501
00:31:06.119 --> 00:31:10.559
your book, and you know, I think about that and realize,

502
00:31:11.000 --> 00:31:14.240
you know, so often we have these conversations and then

503
00:31:14.319 --> 00:31:17.720
how does someone suddenly stop for a minute and go, Wow,

504
00:31:18.200 --> 00:31:21.039
these conversations I'm having with myself.

505
00:31:20.960 --> 00:31:22.000
Are not helping me.

506
00:31:22.480 --> 00:31:26.960
They're actually causing me to experience even less happiness and

507
00:31:27.039 --> 00:31:30.920
less joy. How how do you help people to really

508
00:31:31.160 --> 00:31:35.599
change those conversations with themselves to be positive.

509
00:31:35.559 --> 00:31:37.880
And to create that happiness and joy?

510
00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:41.640
You know, Well, sometimes it can start with just realizing

511
00:31:42.240 --> 00:31:44.839
that you're inside your head as kind of a bad

512
00:31:44.880 --> 00:31:49.640
neighborhood and so uh and these these you know bullies,

513
00:31:49.720 --> 00:31:52.720
these these uh thought bullies are going to jump out

514
00:31:52.720 --> 00:31:56.079
from behind the next you know telephone poll and go oh.

515
00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:00.200
Remind reminds you of how incapable or scared you are.

516
00:32:00.480 --> 00:32:04.160
And it happens to all of us. And that's why

517
00:32:04.200 --> 00:32:07.759
we want a counter ready to go like, you know,

518
00:32:09.039 --> 00:32:13.119
that's old, that's that was my old life. And you know,

519
00:32:13.240 --> 00:32:18.240
I'm I'm taking responsibility and I'm gonna I've got other

520
00:32:18.279 --> 00:32:21.599
thoughts that I can think in those moments and and

521
00:32:21.680 --> 00:32:26.240
sometimes if there's a lot going on and I feel

522
00:32:26.519 --> 00:32:28.440
starting to feel a little out of control for my

523
00:32:28.640 --> 00:32:33.640
my time and whatever, I can remember back to this

524
00:32:33.880 --> 00:32:37.720
experience I had one time it was hot, really hot

525
00:32:38.200 --> 00:32:41.680
on mountain road, dirt road, and there was this beautiful spring.

526
00:32:42.200 --> 00:32:45.400
Somebody had put an old clowset baptob up in there

527
00:32:45.400 --> 00:32:48.279
and it was so old that it all minerals had

528
00:32:48.279 --> 00:32:50.279
built up all around it, and it was just it

529
00:32:50.319 --> 00:32:54.480
was not going anywhere, and I just stopped and I

530
00:32:54.680 --> 00:32:59.680
sat there and just there were dragonflies buzzing around and

531
00:32:59.720 --> 00:33:02.039
they the heat. You can almost feel the heat waves.

532
00:33:02.599 --> 00:33:05.519
But the water was just so pure and clean, and

533
00:33:06.599 --> 00:33:09.759
there was a certain contentment about that scene, and I

534
00:33:09.920 --> 00:33:13.920
was like, Wow, everything's as it should be, Everything's in

535
00:33:13.960 --> 00:33:19.440
its place, everything is there's nowhere to go. It's all

536
00:33:19.519 --> 00:33:23.160
right here. And so I have a sole statement that

537
00:33:23.200 --> 00:33:26.440
I it'll take me right back to that feeling when

538
00:33:26.480 --> 00:33:29.839
I say, the contentment of the mountains lives inside me,

539
00:33:30.519 --> 00:33:33.359
and I can feel that place and I can feel

540
00:33:34.039 --> 00:33:38.079
me being there. And so the more we could just

541
00:33:38.599 --> 00:33:42.519
pay attention to those moments and realize that if I

542
00:33:42.559 --> 00:33:45.160
didn't have part of that inside me already, I wouldn't

543
00:33:45.200 --> 00:33:48.799
respond to it. It would mean nothing. But I am

544
00:33:49.440 --> 00:33:52.480
connected to life and to nature and to what's good,

545
00:33:53.000 --> 00:33:55.720
and so I can bring that back and kind of

546
00:33:55.720 --> 00:33:57.119
remind myself as needed.

547
00:33:57.599 --> 00:33:59.279
And you know, I think you've hit on it.

548
00:33:59.440 --> 00:34:02.119
We need to know that the Divna it does lie

549
00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:05.920
within us, that that goodness lies within us, and a

550
00:34:05.920 --> 00:34:09.159
lot of people have never taken the time to realize that.

551
00:34:09.760 --> 00:34:13.760
Yeah, And I think that's one way to start is journaling.

552
00:34:13.760 --> 00:34:17.519
I'm a big fan of journaling and it and uh,

553
00:34:17.719 --> 00:34:19.800
even if you want to some people like to do

554
00:34:20.159 --> 00:34:22.679
a dream journal where they wake up in the morning

555
00:34:23.119 --> 00:34:26.199
and first saying, just write whatever they can remember. That's

556
00:34:26.360 --> 00:34:29.000
kind of a nice way to start something going and

557
00:34:30.119 --> 00:34:33.199
can lead to some insights, you know.

558
00:34:33.360 --> 00:34:37.199
So when you're journaling, what besides that? What what do

559
00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:39.199
people journal about? I hear that a lot. All we

560
00:34:39.239 --> 00:34:41.800
needed journal we need a journal. And yet what do

561
00:34:41.840 --> 00:34:42.719
you journal about?

562
00:34:42.840 --> 00:34:45.679
What? What is it that if you correctly journal, it's

563
00:34:45.920 --> 00:34:46.880
it's helping you.

564
00:34:47.400 --> 00:34:49.880
Well, I don't know if they're well, there certainly isn't

565
00:34:50.199 --> 00:34:53.920
one or two ways to do it correctly. A way

566
00:34:53.920 --> 00:34:58.280
that I think is really helpful is journaling. Oh this

567
00:34:58.440 --> 00:35:03.519
and that thing happened, and this is where I folded,

568
00:35:03.960 --> 00:35:06.760
And this is why I got scared. I didn't want

569
00:35:06.760 --> 00:35:09.679
to be embarrassed. And this is what my embarrassment is

570
00:35:09.719 --> 00:35:13.880
costing me, or my avoidance of embarrassment. This is what

571
00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:19.320
it's costing me. And and feel it and and and uh.

572
00:35:19.760 --> 00:35:23.800
One time my son had called me and he was

573
00:35:23.880 --> 00:35:27.440
crying and he had gotten knocked out in boxing practice,

574
00:35:27.480 --> 00:35:30.280
and he was an aspiring boxer, and he's like, I

575
00:35:30.320 --> 00:35:33.960
don't want to have any more concussions. I've had way

576
00:35:34.000 --> 00:35:36.079
too many already, and I don't know what else to do.

577
00:35:36.800 --> 00:35:41.599
And and I told him, well, first of all, you

578
00:35:41.639 --> 00:35:44.840
know you've got you've got an apartment, a girlfriend, a car,

579
00:35:45.639 --> 00:35:49.079
you're you're a man, you've got a credit card. It's like,

580
00:35:49.400 --> 00:35:52.360
slow down, you know what you're gonna I said, what

581
00:35:52.360 --> 00:35:54.440
you're gonna do is you're gonna you're going to go

582
00:35:54.480 --> 00:35:57.440
in the house, drink a bunch of water, and you

583
00:35:57.639 --> 00:36:00.880
and go into your bedroom, turn off the lights and

584
00:36:01.039 --> 00:36:03.480
just lie there, lie in the dark, and let your

585
00:36:03.519 --> 00:36:06.719
brain heal. Stay there as long as you possibly can,

586
00:36:08.039 --> 00:36:11.519
hopefully at least a day if you can. And while

587
00:36:11.559 --> 00:36:14.599
you're there, I want you to feel the agony of this,

588
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:19.719
feel the sorrow of the loss of this dream. And

589
00:36:20.280 --> 00:36:25.639
if you can feel the distress and the pain of that,

590
00:36:25.800 --> 00:36:29.400
the disappointment, if you can feel that long enough, there's

591
00:36:29.400 --> 00:36:30.719
something underneath.

592
00:36:30.320 --> 00:36:31.039
It for you.

593
00:36:31.639 --> 00:36:37.679
And so he didnath what was underneath it is, Oh,

594
00:36:37.760 --> 00:36:42.920
I don't have to there's other forms of martial arts

595
00:36:43.239 --> 00:36:44.760
where I don't have to get punched in the head

596
00:36:44.800 --> 00:36:48.920
every day, and I can still do my love, I

597
00:36:48.920 --> 00:36:51.280
can do jiu jitsu, I can do these other things

598
00:36:51.840 --> 00:36:55.519
where that doesn't involve getting hit in the face. And

599
00:36:55.559 --> 00:36:58.280
I love this, but maybe I shouldn't be doing it

600
00:36:58.280 --> 00:37:01.400
where I'm just like concussion. Every week there's another concussion.

601
00:37:02.559 --> 00:37:05.159
Well, and that's a great example. I love that.

602
00:37:05.480 --> 00:37:08.920
So as we close, what would be that final message

603
00:37:09.119 --> 00:37:10.920
that you'd like to share with the audience.

604
00:37:11.400 --> 00:37:15.159
I would like to share that you can learn to

605
00:37:15.280 --> 00:37:17.239
call up the best part of you in a moment,

606
00:37:17.760 --> 00:37:23.440
and that initially the hero and the coward feel the

607
00:37:23.519 --> 00:37:27.519
same thing. They both feel afraid, but it's what they

608
00:37:27.559 --> 00:37:31.119
do next that defines them wonderful.

609
00:37:31.320 --> 00:37:34.400
How do people find you? How do people find your book?

610
00:37:34.760 --> 00:37:39.559
Well, I'm at core relationship dot com. I'm also easy

611
00:37:39.599 --> 00:37:44.480
to find Corey lyon fulsom on Instagram and on my

612
00:37:44.519 --> 00:37:49.519
website Core relationship dot Com. There's a page to check

613
00:37:49.559 --> 00:37:52.800
out my book. There's a whole bunch of info about

614
00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:56.239
how I do coaching. There's a couple dozen blog articles

615
00:37:56.280 --> 00:38:01.199
I've written, and yeah, but Soul Statements is the thing

616
00:38:01.199 --> 00:38:04.079
I'm most proud of. It's got all my best stuff

617
00:38:04.119 --> 00:38:04.440
in there.

618
00:38:04.880 --> 00:38:06.760
Now, is it on Amazon or any of those.

619
00:38:06.880 --> 00:38:11.159
It's on Amazon, bookshop dot org. You can also always

620
00:38:11.159 --> 00:38:12.920
ask your local bookstore to order it.

621
00:38:13.280 --> 00:38:17.360
Great, great, Corey, Thanks so much. What a tremendous insight

622
00:38:17.639 --> 00:38:21.599
that you've shared with people. I think that it's so

623
00:38:21.719 --> 00:38:25.320
wonderful to see people who are making a difference in

624
00:38:25.440 --> 00:38:26.400
other peoples.

625
00:38:26.159 --> 00:38:28.559
Lives, so I appreciate that.

626
00:38:29.039 --> 00:38:29.920
Thank you very much.

627
00:38:30.199 --> 00:38:33.719
Well in folks, thanks for listening. I hope you enjoyed it.

628
00:38:34.119 --> 00:38:36.920
This is a doctor Doug saying, I mista