S2E5 AIN'T NOBODY GOT TIME FOR THAT-SPECIAL GUEST ELENA CALDERON COOKE

0:07 Can you hear me, Hi, fans, this is Don, Don and Gary doing sixty and that would make me Gary. Yeah, and that'd make me Don Gary. As co executive producer of the show, we did discuss whether or not we should air this episode because of the glitch at the end, the technical glitch that happens at the end with Elena. Except but that's out of our control. The great thing is that the bulk of a interview is good. Intact, it's the last couple of minutes that we lost. Yeah, Unfortunately, she disappears in the last five minutes of the episode, and if you wanted, we could rant for five minutes about us just talking to her without having any dialogue. That's kind of funny too, but we cut it out.

0:51 Was it the part where she was praising us and telling us how beautiful and friendly and amazing we are. Yes, because I could do that. But yeah, No, it was a bumber, But it was a fun union for the three of us because you haven't seen or talked to her in years. I haven't seen her talked to her in years, even though we're all connected on Facebook. But it was a special episode for me. Even though all of them are special, but this one had because both of us are tied into her. It was great. Yes, So we just want to let you know, are amazing fans, that there is a rough cut at the very end where we go right from talking to her to our ending segment.

1:34 So don't be alarmed, your Thalmum Louise, and we just drove off the cliff. We just drove off the cliff, so as we will. Again saying our first cliff. Hi do you ho? Gary? Hurry? Dona? Are you good? You look good? Well? I just came out of the shower so and I shaved, so you know. I just did my Brazilian blowout, took it out of the dishwashers, shook it twice and put it on the top of my head. I way to go. How are you feeling? I was just telling you that this colder cough that I caught two weeks ago is still with me. Wow, the residual and there's I don't have allergies, and there's nothing in the air that's, you know, impacting me. I don't know what it is.

2:26 I don't know. I've had it for a long time too. It was allergies for me, and it was of course ritual from the fires that are finally you know, under control a bit, which is nice. Yeah, maybe we're just getting older. Who knows. I know that other people that have gotten sick. It's kind of lingering on longer than normal. And early on I did take a home COVID test just to make sure, and it was negative. So of course, and I've been because I worked from home. I'm I'm indoors and by myself a lot, so it's not like I'm out in the you know, in the crowds. Maybe you need to dust. Oh I see, okay, well know because okay, I remember your house has those tall columns that separate rooms.

3:11 They could be pretty dusty. I'm not saying that they are. I'm sure you're very clean and very meticulous about. The type of thing, you know, like a lot of us. I could bag cleaner. Because I mean, dust affects me whenever we go whenever I go into that new bathroom. We just finished ice sneeze for some reason, So there's something in there that Wait, have we turned into those old guys that just covetch about all our maladies? Now? Sure? Why not? That's okay? So what are we talking about this week? Well, let's start with our intro that we haven't technically done yet, which is this is Donn and Gary doing sixty right, and I will actually wrote it down this time. We're here to unwrap an unpack navigating the world at this age, which in our case is over sixty. We do have a special guest joining us in a few minutes, and we'll talk about that. I'm very excited about her coming on. But I want to check in since we last spoke. How is your week? What'd you been up to?

4:05 Tell me? Tell me the highlights? Not much the highlight Honest, we had a house guests for a week or so. My husband's in laws were here with their daughter, so they actually stayed with us for a few nights. They went down to Palm Springs and spent the rest of the week, came back, took off on a plane, and they're gone again. So no one guests. Yeah, so it was fine, works work, you. Know, did you all go down to Palm Springs for just them? No? Just them? Okay? And then of course you know there everyone comes to hear things that we lived next door to La, which we do not. We are not Angelino's. We are South Bay people. So of course they want to do all of the South Bay things, which include going to the Hollywood Sign, Griffith Park, Rodeo Drive, which is you know, come on, it's not all that, so let them do that.

4:49 Go take your road trip. Unfortunately, a lot of it was closed off due to the past fires. So you can go to the Getty Both Getty's are closed right now. It was fine, It was fine. It was great to see them. We had a wonderful time, you know, wonderful house guests. They're wonderful. We love them very much. Well, you know me, I'm not one to brag or neighbor Yeah, okay, yesterday I was invited to a meeting our new mayor of San Francisco asked to meet with the program director from the Fire Department that runs the volunteer program that I've been a part of called Inert Neighborhood Emergency Response Team. And so he said he's coming at Friday two o'clock. You want to join us. I said, sure, I'm thinking we're going to be sitting in a room three four people chatting with the mayor. It turned into a media extravaganza. The fire chief. The new fire chief was there, plus his full command staff woman who is the director for the Department of Emergency Management. They're like the top dogs when it comes to any disasters or any big events San Francisco. She was there, media was there.

5:52 So when the mayor pulled up, it was myself and another volunteer in our uniforms surrounded by a bunch of fire chiefs all in their uniforms. You would have thought we were at either some sort of graduation celebratory celebration ceremony or a funeral for some of the fun because it was like full on everyone with their suits and the hats and the badges and so we did have a you know, presentation through the mayor, and then we took him outside and did a couple of hands on demonstrations of drills. So I work with him on putting out a small fire. So I posted on this morning on Instagram and Facebook some of the images from that.

6:33 So it was kind of fun, you know, just hanging out with the fire chief and the mayor, you know. Your hob nobbin and knob hobbin, can I say? Yeah? So it was fun. But other than that, he has just been you know, work as usual and working from home, which has been great since I don't have to commute anymore, staying inside. I don't know about down there, but up here, it has been granted, is winter, so one would expect it to be, you know, chillier. Really Yeah, I don't know what the heck is going on. I sit on my sofa like covered in a blanket with a space heater, you know. And then if I'm in the car and put my hands up to the to the air vents so I can eat a warm up.

7:15 What's become of me? You know? Maybe because I've lost weight, I've lost all my insulation. Could be it could very well be that, you know what I mean. So let's do this. Let's take a real quick break. Yes, I come back because I want to pick up this conversation before our guest joins us. Okay, okay, many and back, and it's Gary said before. We're here to unwrap and unpack navigating the world at this age, don't for you get You can find us on Apple Podcasts and spot you can add.

8:08 That completelyasy for you to say. Well not. You can find us on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, and wherever amazing podcasts are found. We're on Instagram, at Donn and Gary doing sixty and on YouTube at Donn and Gary doing sixty under Pfifer Pod. Don't forget that we'd like you to like and subscribe. So thanks Gary. I'm sorry. I just had to put that in there real quick. Now let's go back to what's going on. You had a milestone again, didn't you? So I didn't tell you or are viewers and audience members at our The last time we recorded was that we recorded on Sunday with the day before. I did my usual way in and you know, so on I hit the forty pound lost mark. That is amazing, which. I was hoping it would have happened in December at the six month mark. But you know, it's the holidays, and.

8:52 You're doing it safely, you're doing wisely, you're doing it with a lot of education. Again, so congratulations. Yeah, so it felt good to like, you know, oh my god, I'm at the forty pounds, you know, Mark. So how do you feel about it? Well? I was very excited, I mean. Because it's a little bit right. What's that? Is it emotional at all for you? I mean? Or just a good feeling? Yeah? I think just a good feeling. You know, it's kind of like a little bit of literally and vigorously some weight has been dropped off the shoulder, just because you know, last year this time when I'm like, okay, I'm I'm at the gym regularly and I'm you know, when I'm trying to eat well healthy and do my workouts, and I wasn't seeing any progress, and it just felt very deflating, like, you know, why am I doing all this? I'm not seeing any results. It was just frustrating. So don't skip ahead, you know, have the aseempic. Conversations start on that. And then I've been keeping track of the journey and December was the only month where I didn't lose weight. But then I said, you know what it was holidays. You're not on your regular schedule of eating, and you know you're you're going to do a lot of social events where there's you know, more snacky type things. So maybe wouldn't be my first choice to have a couple sliders, right as opposed to you know, a protein and some grossed vegetats.

10:10 You take the bun off the slider and just call it a protein. And honey, I never take the bun off. No, the bun is where it's at. Then that's the title of this episode. The bun is where it's at. You haven't lived ll you've had a bun but no, no, so you obviously just moderation and you know, try try and try and be good. Yes, but I mean that's a good thing. And again, like I said, you're doing it the wise way. I think we're going to make another episode out of Ozembic in general, because I'm we'll go down this road another time. But there's a lot of advertising now for golp ones. Yeah, so we'll go down there again. But you're doing it the right way. Congratulations, you bought some new clothes, right.

10:52 I did well because all the clothes I had were very baggy. And then so I took inventory. I start with pants for and I looked at and the wais sizes were like all too big, and I'd put him on, and you know, I'd put the belt on and to the tightest all the way, all the way, and it's like, God, these are so bagging. There's so much fabric here, So I'm not gonna go overboard. But I did buy about four new pair of pants and a couple of sweaters. Lovely and so. Yeah, it just felt good to like when I put it on, it's like, oh wow, this is like because the other pants, I mean, without a belt, they will just fall off and we can't help we don't have that. I got to stop you for one second. Someone's scratching my door. I gotta let him in. Okay, it's not it's not my husband.

11:33 Yah, who's the mystery guest. It's Rocket, Hey, Rocket. It's it's a rocket and he was scratching at my door. So yeah, so sorry, third guest. He'll just be a quiet part of the guest thing. So yeah, and how many other guess none of the other guests have licked you. Well, not for for free, right and paid. Them either, so right, exactly. Yeah, So I'm sorry back to this. I didn't mean to interrupt with that. That's fine. Yeah, So I'm so happy for you. But it's fun to go out and buy new stuff, right, well. For sure, yeah, because you know, the first time went to the store. As soon as I walk in, there's a table with some pants laid out, and like, oh I like that one. I'm like, God, but what size am I gonna wear? I guessed, Like, well, let me try this one.

12:18 Well everything that fits differently too, you know, nothing in size the way it's supposed to be. Yeah, yeah, so yeah, And actually the first one I tried on was like, okay, I'll take it in the blue and the green. So yeah, so it was it was, it was fun, and I'll just kind of hold off on that. I've I have a whole big stack of pants on a chair over there that have already been laundered, you know, once they're in my closet, and the drawers that I'm going to donate, and then I'll do the same thing with you know, shirts and sweaters and things. And I got a ton of shoes that you know, I can still wear them because the weight loss doesn't make a difference. But I got weight. I don't know about you, but I've got way too many shoes. Yeah, I got way too many everything. Actually, I've got shirts, sweaters, jacket stuff I gotta go through. It might be time to do some spring cleaning myself. Yeah, and I think, you know, you know, I don't I wouldn't beat myself up about jumping onto the exercise wheel again because I literally have not jumped onto my my rower for a while now. Because it's just house guessed things to do getting through the renovation.

13:10 All these excuses that I've been, Yeah, you've had a lot of projects and things going on. I feel rocket, I feel like, sorry, he's licking places he shouldn't be down. Please. It's a family show, isn't it. But it's the I've been, not as an excuse, but it's just definitely been distracting to not be get back into the routine that I want to get back into. So, you know, so what January's over almost sec in February exactly, never start you can never stop start stop stop stop starting. Yeah, sure, when out Okay, we'll go with that. Looking at the clock. Our guests me be joining us in a minute. But I'm going to throw in real quick. Another thing I decided I need to pick up a project that I had left off last year was updating my living trust.

13:50 We're doing the same thing. I initially did it back in twenty eleven. Yeah, I pulled everything out, went through the paperwork, made some notes, need to make some changes. But that's one of those things that it should be on our list if we haven't done it already. Is you know, one of the realities of life at this age is that you need to have all your business in order right, all your business together, and it's it's not a horrible process. Actually, we're using a legal zoom type of product that actually makes it very simple. Okay, coordinating everything, but yeah, you know, it's like all that's one of the things where you're like, oh my gosh, assets, how much money do you want when you retire? There's all these questions to start asking. And I'm actually switching over my financial advisors for someone who they used my family and I used in San Mateo for one hundred years.

14:33 Speaking of Drager's is closing, yes, oh my god. Yeah, for those you know, Drager's is a high end grocery store, but they had like a cooking school upstairs and other things going in a restaurant. You went to the cooking school, didn't you. I did. Someone that we went to high school with taught cooking class STYS, So I did go to one about two years ago. You know, they, like a lot of businesses were kind of went dark during the pandemic, reopened and things just never really came back. The cooking school, I don't think they started up again. The restaurant I don't know if they ever reopened, but I mean, admittedly the I never shop there because the prices were super expensive, but they were there for years. So who's that? Oh my goodness, Oh.

15:14 My god, why are you supposed to do that? Yeah? Yeah? Quick? Or what you are? Right on time? Oh my god, I don't know what I'm doing. I was even listening in. I was just like, I got your detailed instructions from the FBI on how to get in here, and. You pass all the security clearances and you're here. I can't tell you how excited I am that you are joining us. It's been years since you've seen each other. But oh my god, I didn't even know you know that you guys were still in touch. I mean, did you get in touch later or have you been in touch since we were kids? We never stopped kids? Wait? Wait, wait, what was the answer. That we never stopped being in touch?

15:56 You never stopped being in touch? Wow? Let me back up, because you know we're on YouTube, but we're also on Spotify and Apple podcasts. So for the listeners, we've been joined by a special guest. It's the first guest that has joined us on either podcast that I'm related to. That's cool because I know you have a big family. We're a big family. We've got a lot of Mexicans. But this is my cousin and Lena Kaladon Cook who And for those who followed us on Three Piece podcasts and on this one, your family has come up a couple times in our stories as we explain to our listeners, uh and viewers, how Donn and I met because we didn't go to the same elementary middle school, we didn't meet up until high school. But because your two families were next door neighbors, and when I would go over to your house to visit, you know, my mom would visit with your mom, and I'd come and play with you guys. You and your your siblings would be the extraor neighbor kan who would be over once in a while.

17:02 So we kind of met each other. But then in high school we're like, wait a minute, you you live where and the same high school? Yeah? Aragone, But didn't we. All go to Hillsdale? Like and then I mean I went to Aragon after like for the last three years. But Donnie, didn't you go to Hillsdale? No? Obviously you didn't. No, No, it's okay, but no, okay, just one of those weird things at Lanta, because it's like, you know, we all have some kind of weird kismet connection. But because I vaguely remember Gary, when I was staying at your house during Yeah with Angie and you, and it's like it's just wild.

17:44 Because I think we mostly went over to his house, like when we all got together, and like all those pictures you sent, those are all your house, right Gary? Yeah? Yeah, the three pictures of birthdays that were at my house last night. I sent images photos to Donna and Lena when when she and I were kids. So there's one we're like seven years old at some party in the East Bay. The other two are birthday parties at my house. And the last one, I guess did we work at Macy's together for a short time. We did, because there was some kind of holiday party or costume party, and that wasting party you and I are happened to be dressed in fifties gear, and so this picture wild.

18:24 I have not even given that a thought since that picture. That's wild, And so got the. Photo of us at Macy's. I mean I left Macy's when I was twenty six so it means I was twenty four to twenty five in that photo. I know I was there when I was twenty two. I remember like for a year, I think, not long. Oh that is crazy. That is a great picture. And you looked like, oh my god, you look so like nineteen fifties. Like really, that's a really good picture. That's for all. My gray hair kicked in. Wow. I just didn't even remember these pictures. That's amazing. I had them in archives. I knew. And when you agreed to say yeah, I'll come on the podcast like I have to photos, I knew they existed. So I'm so glad I found them.

19:08 Thank you. I'm so glad too. Gosh. So, how when when do you think the last time the two of you saw each other? Maybe the Macy's party, because I left California when I was well, Holly, you said you were how old when you worked at Macy's. Gary, I left Macy's when I was twenty six. Well, I was twenty five when I left California, So that was the last it might have been the last time I saw you. So you moved to the East Coast in your twists mm hmmm. And was it for school for work. What was the it was sort of for it was it was sort of for well, I was in I don't know if you knew I lived in Anchorage, Alaska. I went to Anchorage first. We didn't know that I. Went to Anchorage first for a year. It was a wonderful, wonderful, like wonderful time as an incredible experience. I met my first my husband through a conference. I worked for the American Heart Association in Anchorage, and we met it a conference in New Orleans that summer, and then I the following year, I moved out here. He was here in Delaware, and so we got you know, we got together, we got married. I was married for ten years, had a couple of kids, two girls, and then divorced and remarried pretty pretty fairly quickly after the first marriage. And then I've been married for twenty three years now I'm still here in Delaware. So wow, I know, I know. Did you know that I went to Alaska?

20:28 I remember that I only knew Delaware because of your posts on Facebook. Yeah yeah, yeah, uh huh yeah, you know. Like a lot of things like well, when I when Don and I graduated high school, I went away for two years, and that he ended up moving for work and things to different states. So there was a couple of years where we didn't connect because there was no cell phone. No, yes, that's you know, there was a time when there was no cell phones. No easy way to connect. But at some point he moved back to California, he and I reconnected, and. You know, most so you did sort of yeah, because of work, sort of disconnect and then reconnect later. Right, right, Donnie, how how long were you away for?

21:11 Which time? It's like I was okay, back and forth, yeah, yeah, because I moved. It was like I moved to New York for a little while, and I moved to Chicago for a little while. I lived in l A. A few times, back and forth, and then you know, somehow I don't even remember. I think I remember you in New York. Really, I think I remember seeing something and thinking, oh my gosh, he's over here. Yeah yeah, yeah. So, I mean we haven't seen each other or spoken to each other for even longer than Gary, and so it's amazing. So it's so good to see you. It's so nice that. We're god to see you both. Oh my god, I'm just like, why you're still in touch. Yeah. Well, it's something something you can't shake. Sometimes. I've tried. I've moved away a number of times, but he still finds me. I'm the gum on his shoe. He just can't get rid of me.

21:54 Well, it's kind of like you said, Johnny, like the uh, what did you say it? Kist, it just happened. And the fact that all three of us are speaking now because we had literally like a couple of places where we all lived. Well, the really weird thing, too, is Donnie, there's more to that story because here lately, in the last recent years. I don't know if you remember any of this, but here lately the next few years, there's been sort of discussions that have come up about rats for different reasons, and I always go back to the same story, that is about you and our pet rats. Okay, because first of all, there was Pizza Rat. Do you remember Pizza Rat from New York City? Yes? Okay, So I was telling recently, I was showing somebody the video. I said, don't you remember Pizza Rat? And then I have to go on and tell them my story about how I had a pet rat. And then my neighbor Donnie gave me his rat, like I adopted your rat, and he was my rat was white, yours was black, and you gave you we homed it to me.

22:47 And then recently something else came up. I mean it's come up like a few times, not too long ago. And I always retelled my rat story. People can't believe that I had a pet rat. Two rats now, one who was you know, deal with Adriel's wife, Diachita. She would come over and go, yeah, look at this rats. Yeah, oh god, go away, please go away, you hateful woman. I love her now though, but she was so hateful that, oh my gosh, I love them very much. Yeah. So, yes, the rat story has come up quite a bit. And now here you are the one you gave me, the one who gave me my beloved one of my beloved rats.

23:27 Com do you remember? Yes? I just so you guys graduated the same. Year, graduating eighty because I'm much younger, and yeah, a month is early a month younger. Yeah, so we're a. You're apart then, right, because I'm sixty three, you guys, I know Gary, you're sixty two. And so okay, so here's something else. If I can just touch on the rats one last time. I'm sorry. The last podcast, gear Donnie, you mentioned something about a rat sign to your your guests sign signs about yes. Yes, stupid me, I was thinking Christian. So yes, so you're right, you're right, something about a sign. Yes, it's an exterminator that's in San Mateo. It used to be that had a big rat on top of it. A guy looking at a rat.

24:17 Yes. So, yes, you're right, you're absolutely right. I was wrong. My goodness, it's been so much fun. So yeah, and do you mind? Does anybody else call you Donnie? Here is the only one? No, I mean family, does you know? It's like they still do? Please do? I mean, I prefer it, But nobody really calls me that because I guess I don't look like a don because. I always say Frankie. I mean, I can't get away from Frankie ever. Frankie. Oh yeah, my brother Frankie. Yeah yeah, yeah, he's still Frankie Frankie. But yeah, I mean yes, some of our relatives, yes still when they. Still do it. Okay, yeah, all right, good good, that's good. I never got into that. I just called them Frank's so yeah whatever. But so I want to talk about so you've been in Delaware many.

24:58 Years, nineteen eighty seven. You have two daughters. Mmm, you're a nurse, is that right? M m yep. Wow. I'm just, of course for just from all your posts, which I love all. Your posts, how much nursing posts. But not just your family staff. You'll talk about it, yes, yes, you say you've seen my you know, the Nicolett and Angela. Yeah, Nicolettson's still in San Diego though, she's right there with you guys. Yeah. Yeah, she's been there for about she moved. She was living in New York City. She went to Hunter College, and then she moved for a job in San Diego with one of her actually one of her high school friends went to San Diego State and then he got stayed there and he had a job for her, So she moved from New York to San Diego.

25:42 Wow. So now she's a California hippie and we're over here, and my other daughter is very they're very much the opposite. She lives, Angela lives nearby. But yeah, Nicolett's a doctor of acupuncture and Chinese medicine there in San Diego. Yeah, I know, so different. Yeah, interesting, right, And I think that I'm the only nurse in all our families. I don't know anybody else who is. So Yeahvin, my family, we have a doctor and a nurse. Yeah yeah. One of my nephews, he is a doctor in southern California. One of my nieces is the nurse up here in the Bay Area. So yeah, that's cool. I didn't know that. Yeah. Well, speaking of that, I mean, you know, the whole medical field during COVID was overwhelmed and understaffed. I mean just everything that How was that for you? What was your experience? Yeah, it was, it was.

26:28 It was more like the fear of the unknown was the biggest thing. People had different levels of anxiety about it. At works, a couple of people had to leave. It was one of the aids that we had. She couldn't handle it, she couldn't be anxiety. And then she just recently came back and she's a complete different person, just calm and everything. But like for me, once I got COVID, I got it right away. You know, I was like there was no way around it. I got it right away, even though I was like in a space suit, like it just COVID does whatever it wants to do no matter what you're doing, so it just goes where it wants to go. But once I got it the first time, then I was good. I have asthma, and I was afraid that it would affect me in a really bad way, and it didn't at all. I mean I just had a little, tiny, little annoying little cough and it was just like a really bad cold and just like really sleepy, really tired a lot. But I was off for like three weeks and then went back to work. So but once then I was like, Okay, this is probably the worst, the worst that it's gonna that's gonna happen. So and then I was good after that and I didn't get it again until I got a second time and it was the same thing, bad cold, just tired. Like I think I got it again two years later, maybe so, But I.

27:30 Mean this, this is your career, this is a job, and to go through that, and as you said, it's severe, the unknown. None of us had ever gone through anything like that. And then it just kept going and going and going. Yeah, yeah, I guess it's so over it. I get so angry. Still, we still had somebody with COVID here and there just just lasts like one or two weeks ago, and it's just like stop already. And the people that have it now don't even hardly have any symptoms anymore, but they just test positive and then they have to isolate them for like ten days and they have to do the whole suiting up before you go in their room and all that. Still, my gosh, it's. Still like that though, Atlanta, because you would think that it's less virulent.

28:11 It is less virulent, but they still isolate these poor people. Really. Yeah, but I live I work at a nursing home, so it's their people are very sick, very vulnerable. You've been a nurse for how long? Sixteen almost seventeen years now, and so yeah, since. His podcast is about being sixty and older, do you think about the future, like how much longer you want to work? Do you still enjoy it? Yeah, because this was like a second later in life career for me. I was a property manager before I was forty seven. I think it was when I graduated with my nursing you know degree, So it was like a late but I wasn't the only one. There are lots of people that go to school in their forties.

28:52 And even later now too. So yeah, so this is like my second career. Yeah, I'm gonna, I mean, I'm good to go right to full retirement, which is six seven, right, okay, yeah, and maybe that's. Kind of what I'm shooting for, the same as sixty seven. Yeah, yeah, Yeah, It's something we always ask Atlanta, because you know, people are different parts of their phases of their lives. They decide to priorities shift and sometimes know, if work is not gratifying or rewarding, sometimes we'll take an early retirement or talk about dropping off. But if this is still fulfilling for you and you enjoy it and you're doing good, there's nothing wrong with working way past that. You mean, because just because the government says sixty seven is the number, doesn't mean that it has to be the number that you take. And also, I love the reinvention thing because a number of us have reinvented.

29:33 Our career is a number of times and ye midstream and even later in midstream whatever. That number is too, right, Yeah, I mean, you know, we've nursing. It's like a love hate thing. So like sometimes you'll you'll have weeks when you say I just can't imagine doing this or four years, more years and then you just you know, you go and then when you get there, you're glad you went through it. And at the end of the day you're tired, you sort of feel sort of beat up, but then you also feel like very much rewarded and it's a rewarding thing do, so, you know, it's it's both so and I think to like with nurses, I think it depends on your health, like if you're if you're sort of not like especially a lot of smokers. There's a lot of nurses at smoke and their health may not be so great and they just need to you know. I think then they end up get you know, giving it up earlier than they thought they would because they're not so healthy.

30:22 Hm hmm. That love hate relationship you talk about nursings this way I feel about podcasting with Gary. There's a lot hate thing. Some days it's great, some days that come out beat up. I never want to do it again. And then you know Gary's you. Know, did you ever watch that show called watched about the plastic surgeons? Well that you remind me of the two of them, you know, like, well, he's the one. That had that work done. I haven't. You're not supposed to say that. I'm sorry, it's great, it's great. I think you guys are kinder to each other than those two classic surgeons are. It's just it's just too much. They're just we hit the record button. It's a whole different show, believe me. Right, well, at the san keeps the checks coming. I'm good. So, Donne, you're living down south, aren't you.

31:04 Uh yeah, over here on the beach. I'm over in Bay Area. I left you about six years ago now from LA. Yeah, it's down south. It's like maybe thirty minutes forty minutes south of bellt I live at the beach. So it's like something I'm just telling Gary. Earlier, we had our in laws were staying here with us, and they said, well, you live in LA let's go to Rodeo Drives. Like, absolutely not. I will not go to Rodeo Drive. I'm not going to the Hollywood Sign. Yeah exactly. But I mean it's kind of the same thing when people visit you, right, I mean, don't they want to go to Rehobeth. Yes, but yeah, to come visit me. Rehobeth is you know, Rehoboth is amazing. No. I mean the thing is, like, I think reinvention is not uncommon for people our age, because you know, although Gary, you know, has had a really good stint with his gig, he's to had the same job for Gary, how many years.

31:52 I've only been working for my boss for thirty six years. Yeah, oh my gosh. That's great though. Yeah, when I. Left Macy's, I left Macy's at twenty and I started this job and here I am thirty six years later. So I'm so lucky that you didn't have to move around at different places and find somewhere, you know, different places of land. Yeah, you found somewhere that was like worthwhile to stay at. That's great. Yeah, they've been good to you. It's fulfilling. You enjoy your job. You're doing a good work. And I mean there's a lot of things, so you know, there's no there's no cookie cutter way to do it. I mean some people keep their jobs very long time, and some of us reinvent and reinvent and reinvent. So yeah, and I think if you just get past the number thing, you know, the age number, then you can just keep it rolling. You know. That's I tell people you know, I ride my bike all year round.

32:38 It's I mean it's pretty cold. Actually today feels warm because it's eight. Oh wow. I do ride my bike in twenty eight degree weather. And people say how, like, gosh, you're doing that, And I'm like, you know what if you just don't think about the age that you are and just do what you want to do and just do it until you can do it, and I mean, just do it as long as you can and as long as you're feeling good, like there's some reason not to. You know, I'm not don't have anything that's going to stop me from right in my back in the winter because I don't have any like serious health issues, I guess, and I don't feel winded or whatever when I'm riding, so there's nothing to stop me. So that's something to never take for granted, is good health and to have it as we get older. I mean, that's what we have to maintain and keep doing things, and you know, I mean it's so important and people sometimes forget it just goes right.

33:24 To the equality of living, especially as you get older. And this morning I went to an ice skating class with my husband's two grandsons and it does cross my mind. If I fall, I could actually break a hip. But the ice, yeah, I'm skating with it. Yeah, and so you got to think about that. I mean, you gotta be realistic, especially with women. We tend to have more more osteoporosis and stuff. So I do wear risk guards because I broke both of my wrists a couple of years ago and ice skating then I ordered these, even the good skaters. Where are these little shorts that have pads all around? So I'm gonna start using them, you know. And I don't want to be out of work for it with a hit either, you know, I just want to I don't want out of anything.

34:07 Right because Maytory remind ourselves that we can't do everything at sixty that we did in our twenties and thirties, right, and maybe still do it, but maybe not as well, not as fast. Yeah, it's good to be realistic about it. From your comments, it sounds like it's one of the questions we ask is was turning a certain age difficult? You know, whether it was from turning thirty nine to forty or fifteen nine to sixty whatever have Was there ever one age that's like I'm dreading this one. This one's going to. Hurt, not not terribly, not not terribly. Because as long as I thought that I was maintaining myself to the point where I could just do everything I really wanted to do and feel good about it, then it didn't stress me too much. I just had to you know, I just put that out of my mind more more now, more so recently, I like if iit some how people who I am. It's more I'm more concerned about their reaction than my own reaction to my age. You know, they can start seeing, especially if you're over sixty, it's like, oh wait, you're in you're in your sixties, Like in here you can see them in their mind like thinking, wait a minute, you know, this could be like a grandparent here, you know kind of thing. So that's kind of like interesting to see how other people react when you say you're in your sixties.

35:23 But you must get a lot of reactions of like they would never have guessed six, they would have guessed late forties earlier. Sometimes, especially when I you know, when I say I'm bike riding in twenty eighty degree weather, and most most of my friends, well I'm almost all my friends don't do that, and most of my friends in their twenties and thirties don't either. So that's why I just tell everyone, and even you know, my young friends like I just just don't think about the number. Just keep it rolling and keep doing what you you know, like to do and what you feel good, you know, feel good doing physically good doing so. You mentioned and you admitted this, so I'm not spreading any secrets that you said. You're you're sixty three, that's how old you are. How old do you feel?

36:05 Oh? Boy, gosh, I guess thirties. I feel I mean, I don't feel much different. Yeah, and you probably know it's scary. The more you lose, like when you're in your weight last journey, every little bit that you lose, you start feeling better and more Yeah, flexible, and you can just move better and do better. Yeah. Well, I posted recently and Donn and I were just having this conversation before he came on that last week I hit the forty pound mark. I saw that. It was so amazing. It's like I just, you know, like pat myself on the back because. It's my god, you know, because I'm. Doing it all by myself. I'm just under doctor's care and guidance and all that, and Bet just you know, follow the rules and trying to be disciplined and don't feel bad if you you know, like December was the only month that I didn't lose weight. Every other month that since I started, I've lost weight, whether it's three pounds or nine pounds whatever, you know, in the month I tracking all that, And December was a one month be that's also the month that was, you know, it's not my regular schedule, not my regular routine, more socializing, not able to eat when I want what I want, and so on. So it threw me off. But I'd decided, you know, I just kind of wiped this late clean, and then January came. I'm like, all right, let's keep going.

37:21 That's great that you get motivated in January, like more mode, But what about working from home now? Is that affected that in any. Way in the sense that I have more time? Right? Because I was driving from San Francisco across the Golden Gay Bridge to San Rafel, so my morning commute was about forty forty five minutes. The drive home could be an hour or longer, depending on traffic. I live near the Bay Bridge. I live near the baseball stadium, so if there's a tie up on the bridge or a night game, all that, you know, throws off my commute. So I've gained the time. Now my commute is from my bedroom to my dining room. It's amazing. I don't feel isolated because I've always been in a kind of my own office working, you know, just on my own, pretty independently, never been part of like a big team where we're all getting together for.

38:10 A big meeting. So you didn't have to make that big transition from a lot of people to being working alone, right. I understand like during COVID and a lot of people started working from home, they felt that isolation because oh I missed my team. Right, So for me, the transition was easy. Whether it's during COVID when I worked from home for about a year and a half, yeah, exactly. So, yeah, the transition has been good for me. I like you, I'm I'm thinking ahead. I've already had a couple times the conversation with my boss about how much longer I plan to work. And so I'm sixty two now I'm looking at targeting sixty seven. Yeah, and then after that, you know, I don't. I can still because I do a lot of volunteer work, so I can. I can continue to do that, which are things that I enjoy doing.

38:54 But living the Bay Area it's not cheap. So that's one thing that's kind of in the back of my mind is like, how is that going to play out? Yes, I'll have social Security, we hope, yes, you know, I have some case set aside for retirement. But but still it's it's just kind of the unknown, right, you don't know how I was all going to work. I hope it works, because God, who wouldn't that would be my ultimate dream, like to live right in San Francisco, Like who wouldn't want to do that? You know? Yeah, Oh my gosh, it's just so amazing. Yeah. We we have a new mayor that started. He was elected in November and got January. I was bragging it down that I got to meet with him yesterday and meeting an apartment. He did not Yes, you'll see, you'll see my post I demonstrated and he used it as well as fire extinguisher, So new not odd me on a small fire. Sorry, I've always you know, enjoyed doing that and so that's kind of when my career, my work, real work, paying work stops, I have these other things to kind of keep me and gagestion.

40:01 Absolutely we can do that. It's incredibly vital and crucial for us as we age to stay involved with communities, stay involved with going out because there's I've read so many stories about isolation and people who are feeling alone. Gary, You've always done that. I mean, you've done that for years now with this thing. So you've created quite a community outside of work that is really supportive, and i mean, who knows you could maybe reinvent again and find some niche working in the community supporting the way you do now. Keep keep engaged and also, as you said in the past podcast, keep moving like Atlanta. You're bike riding, yeah, you know, in twenty eight degree weather, but that's supposed to be like you know, but on the fire and what's on TV. Because I'm not going outside.

40:42 I do wear the right gear for outside of ex society for sure. I'm not rarely out there suffering in the cold, per se. And we're lucky too, because I just we walked to the beach this morning. It's like twenty minutes away. But it's tend We tend to get out of the house a lot during days off and even afterwards. Like walking is a crucial thing that we can. Why not walk to the beach. Why wouldn't you. Know how far do you have to walk? Half far are you from the beach? It's like a mile and a half maybe two miles to your point? Like bike riding, walking exercise. Yes, only we're doing the ice now. We do the ice skating on Saturday. But I mean it's great that we all continue to do those things because you don't want to get sedentary in any way. I was going to ask you too, because did you have you experienced any kind of agism?

41:25 And I asked this question because I'll preface it. I too, was a property manager in San Francisco. When I left here in the city for a while, and when I came down here looking for a job, guess what I couldn't get one. And what I think one of the reasons could have been was that, you know, electron unless you have some amazing connection, sometimes that after a certain age, if you're filing for jobs electronically, you're immediately disqualified because of a the year graduated college or high school, or because they don't want to hire someone who's over fifty. So my question is, did you experience any kind of agism coming in when you did into nursing. I did not. I did not directly, and I haven't seen that too much in nursing. But my husband just experienced it. He retired right at sixty two. He's a retired cop. He retired when he was forty two, but then he retired from you know, he had a pension from the police department, and then he went on to be a park ranger from the next twenty Then he retired for good at sixty two, and he's now he's seventy two. So he just tried to get a job at Low's, just part time, and they were acted there was pretty nice, and he just wanted to do here and there, just to get out of the house. The very next day, after he got home from the interview, they sent him a little thing that said that he wasn't you know, picked, And I'm wondering it felt like agism. It did. Even though he's in good condition too and can left fifty pounds that sounded funny to me. It just felt like there was agism involved. There.

42:54 Yeah, I mean it's interesting. I'm sorry to hear that. But also it's one of the realities of this, you know, this world, is that there's so many assumptions because of a number on someone. And I'm sure your husband's very vital, he's very healthy. He does this thing. He wants to find some work to occupy some time, make a couple of pocket. Change or whatever, exactly all of that. And it's interesting how sometimes they close the door to you. Figure. I thought it was agism because they have a big giant sign out on Route one, the main main route there in Rehobeth that says they're hiring. Mm, they're really actively hiring a lot of people now for the spring, you know, the upcoming big busy season. You got this little thing, and so I'm like, oh gosh.

43:35 I think what sometimes employees forget that people who have had experience are actually on time, they don't call out sick, they actually have a good work attitude, they want to do a good job. There's a lot of things that come with being a little bit older and bringing the experience that you do have. You're probably great and patient with people. There's so many attributes that you come with experience that I think employers tend to forget. So I agree with the answer. Yeah, yeah, completely, I agree. I think, uh yeah, oh, And I think it's I think it's partly because we have so many different age groups in nursing, just the whole gamut, you know. Yeah, it just runs from you know, new grad all the way up and it's it's a real mix. So I think that we avoid the ageism issue in nursing.

44:17 I think good, that is good. That is good. I think in nursing what hurts people the most is their own bad health. Honestly, that that takes them out earlier and gets it makes it harder to do their jobs. You know, they're just out of shape and whatnot. And then can I ask you, so you said you graduated from nursing school at age forty seven. Mm hmmm, So what was it from your previous career that was there something that happened or you just said you just felt like you needed a change, you weren't. I think it was it was driven both by money and by the scheduling because I was getting Nicolette. Let me see, they weren't in high school yet, or Nicolette was just starting high school. So I was like thinking about her her future like in college. I thought, I need to pull in more money that I'm making here as a proper manager. Number one and then number two is I thought that twelve our shifts were really good for like quality of life. Like I do, I work three days a week, it's twelve hour shifts. It's it's you know, it's a long day, but still just three days a week. And that was a big, you know drive too towards that career. And Angela when she was born, she was a pre MEI she you know, I got a really good feel for the profession from when she was a baby. Just the nurses that took care of her were just like, you know, there were like our angels, and it I just was amazed at the work that they did and how how good they cared for her.

45:34 And I always stuck in my mind. But just the nursing field stuck in my mind. So when it came time to make the change, it felt like it was that was where I would go. So I'm glad. Yeah, that's just kind of personal for you, right right, we had that experience. Yeah, it was a great experience, and it just stuck with me. Didn't do anything about it back back then, but over the years I went through you know, once I was I got to the point in my life where I was like, this is the time to make that change. So I needed to make it. I'm glad I did it worked out. No, I mean just it just sounds like your life right now, which is amazing, with your kids, your husband, your career. I mean, is there anything anything that you haven't accomplished but maybe it's still on your tickle file?

46:18 Not for not professionally and not really personally. But I would say that just in terms of the things that are on my bucket list would be just some points of areas I want to travel to m but anything else I had to say, there's anything that stands out like a burning desire to do something else. I feel very very much fulfilled and that I've done what I really wanted to do the most. Now I feel like I'm just sort of just you know, I'm really enjoying life more. And and it isn't just you hear people say, oh, my kids are grown, so now I can enjoy enjoy life. I don't think that's really so much it I don't know what it is. I think it's just that, and maybe it is part of that. You just have more time for yourself as you get older. That's something about it.

47:04 I don't know. I mean, I don't know what it is. You just feel like you're you're at a stage in your life where you can just you feel don't feel guilty about focusing more on yourself and the things that you enjoy. So yeah, just keep doing that. So I ask you because we mentioned my brother Frank, so he's a grandfather. His daughter, Brittany had a baby girl sixteen months ago, so that was my mom's my mom's first great grandchild. One of my other nieces is expecting a baby in June. Do you think about future will you have the title of grandmother? Yeah, well, yeah, I don't have my own grandchildren, but Gary's got all these grandchildren that are my bonus grands Nice.

47:44 How many are there? We have the three his son has three boys, and then his new wife has a daughter, so there's like the step granddaughter. And then his daughter has a Gary's daughter has two kids that are grown. Basically, yeah, they're out of high school grown. My gosh, you're huge, I know. Sorry, yeah, kind of, but Angie's a great grandmother, Andrew. Yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, wow she is. Because you know she had her son, Miya Litho. She had him when she was only eighteen, and then he had his son when he was pretty young. Yeah, when you have your kids. Yeah, so then so then my nephew, Meetho, is a grandfather. Yes, he's a grandfather. So Angie is a grand a great.

48:25 Grand wow's crazy. Do you take advantage of any senior discounts? You bet? I do? I love it. Oh gosh, I love it. I love that. I love that so much. Which ones do you? Oh? Every year there is a it's called Saint Anthony's Italian Festival up in Wilmington, up north of Delaware, where our biggest city is Wilmington. We go every June, and one year, I guess I'm sixty three, so it must have been two years ago when I was. It was after I was at least sixty. We were in line. It's not the only moves fast anyway, but still somebody came out and said, is anybody anybody over sixty? You can go in for free? I was like, yes's we believe you.

49:07 They didn't believe you, did? They out of my way, out of my way. They didn't check our IDs or anything. I'm serious. I was like, come on then, you know we'll believe you. Yeah, oh yeah, I love that. Like the movies, you get your senior right at the movies. What else. There's a lot of little perks. Sometimes it's only a couple of dollars, but it's still fun. Every little helps, and it is still fun. Because you're okay calling it out. Because I was in line with my friend in Palm Springs who wanted to go to the Sizzler and he's like he was in front of me and they were ordering and said and then they said, oh, wait, don you're a senior. Said no, I'm not. I'm not a senior. I don't. Why would I get it? Like, no, how old were you last year? Sixty to sixty one?

49:48 No you were, Yeah, technically it was definitely. So what is it? Is it fifty five plus? Usually that's seen. No, No, it used to be there. They're raising it on everything now like now it's sixty on everything. Thing I think and sometimes I write at first, I think that the Towning Festival is the first time I ever just openly said yes, I didn't want the discount because I'm sixty then, but it's like anything, once you do it the first time, then you're good after that. Right, So after that initial acceptance, like that initially came out, I am over sixty, I have to admit that, and I'm happy to do it. And so then after that it was easy, like yes, yeah, it was easy. So yeah, that's that's fun. Now you can say to people who are who are afraid to be and they're sixty, you can say, listen, you get all these little discounts, right, you know, there's a lot of positive things to come in the future, you know. But yeah, but if you have I have to say. I just have to say, if you if you have bad health and you're not taking care of yourself, being older can be a misery.

50:50 So I just really really really really encourage everyone to be as healthy as you can get. Now you can't you can't anything you do about genetics, of course, but just dude, did the best you can know, because my mom had had had Alzheimer's, you know, Gary, I think you're remember that and I always have that fear, you know, and that's one of the things that drives me so much for like the exercise and it helps with you know, against the Alzheimer's gene. And I'll do all these things, you know, to get away from that genetic component. You know that's there. So you know, you can either resign yourself to that I'll probably have it too, or you can try to push it, you know, push against it and try to get a fight against it and just do whatever, educate yourself on it and try to get away from that whole genetic disposition towards that. I know that we have heart disease in our family. My dad, you know, died from heart disease, so that's another thing, you know, I try to work around as much as possible.

51:42 So, but that was also very generational to Elena. I think with our families going up the time, and yes, if Gary's mom is any she's an outlive all of us. Why now, how does your mom know Gary right now? She's ninety seven, ninety eight in June. Yeah, gene in there. That is just so shocking to me, I know, right, I mean you could told me she was in her seventies. I want to believe you. I mean, she's another one. She just does what she does and she doesn't think about her age number. Right, No, never about her agent. She's very happy and realizes, you know, she's lucky to be where she is and if something were to happen, and you know that she has no regrets about you know anything.

52:24 Yeah, yeah, oh man, that's incredible. Don't you about the time she tried to run me over in the parking lot? Did not? She told to hit the gas in the parking lot, hit the gas, get him don. Don is the thorn in her side. She's always joking with. Her what she did say it? It is so funny. She maybe said it, she didn't mean. Maybe you said it Gary. I think it was you. Maybe maybe he influenced her. She's an angel. Yeah, she had to come from Gary. She would never think of her own. It's typical, typical, typical. It sounds like something she would say, though. She's so funny right.

53:06 From the work side. Do you find yourself giving a lot of advice to the younger nurses that. You were I try not to a lot, you know. I don't want them to look at you like I'm a big nag or something. No, No, I meant do they come to you for advice? Do they come to you? They do a little bit. Yeah, okay, they do a little bit. Yeah, I don't know. I think actually they do a lot now that I think about it. Yeah, and I think. You know, it is nursing, is you think independently, but also in a lot of ways team players too, because you're not completely alone at work. You know, there's always somebody else. So yeah, they are. They are good about asking about things. Here's one good thing. The other good thing about being your sixties in my profession at least, is you can do the sort of like I'm the wise elder, let me tell you what I think, and you have there's like some somehow there's more validity to your opinion. Now now you feel like the wise elder.

53:57 And it's kind of kind of cool, like let's listen. She has to say, you know, kind of thing. You're constantly learning, right, so, and you have to gain more experience. So when the younger ones are newer to the profession, come on board, and you can observe something and say, you know what, what you might want to consider is X. That's just you passing on knowledge and yeah, you know, and empowering them. Yeah, yes, that's true. That's true because I also tell them. You know, it doesn't matter how long you've been a nurse, even if you're newer or an older nurse. Older nurses make mistakes too, you know. Don't just think just because we're in this field and we've got this experience, that that we are the end all know all. I mean, we make mistakes just like the younger people do. And you know, we're still in a way, we're still all on one level playing field at work. You know, we're all capable of doing great things and also making mistakes, you know, human mistakes.

54:52 It's understandable, that's true. Ever, thought of being an instructor or a teacher, if someone well, I don't. Know, you know, it is something that I could think about. You're a vast experience, your your common sense, your ability to do what you do. I mean, that sounds like that's really good. That could be an idea. The only thing that that would stand in the way, though, is they want you to have a master's degree to be like a nurse instructor, nursing instructor, school instructor. That's a huge commitment right there. True, and financially too, So I. Don't know, but you could ride your bike to school, It doesn't matter. I could actually could, I could, and it could be cold, and I could. Still do it exactly exactly. So we talked about giving advice to younger nurses. But one question we ask our guest is what advice would you give your younger self? And that you could say your twenty five year old self, you're thirty yearself, your eighteen year old self. You pick the age. But looking back, is there advice you would give your younger self about anything?

55:50 Hmmm? Advice I would say, I would. I would tell myself to be so hard on yourself. You know, you're just as good as everybody else is, you're you're just as smart as everyone you're not. You know, you're not less. I would, I would want to be a little more, Tell her be a little more confident, don't be so down on yourself. That's very relatable. I think a lot of us can say that same thing, right, is that we're too hard on ourselves a certain age, thinking we're the only ones. We're not good enough, we're not smart enough, we're not whatever enough. Right, And maybe because we didn't have people lifting us up, encouraging us, maybe don't have that support system. Yep, or you might, but you don't. You know, you don't believe in yourself. You don't have that self confidence, which is what you get. I mean, I think I've gotten more confident as I've gotten older.

56:38 Older. Yeah, well there's something else to look forward to. You get older and you get calmer. I think when you as you get older, that's a good thing, don't. I don't sweat the little things that may be bothering before and it's like, you know what, just let this one go, right, there's more important things to focus on, you know. That's a great way to Yeah, yeah. Appreciate what you have as opposed to why I don't have as much money or I don't have this. It's like, yeah, but what what do you have? I appreciate that. I was definitely not that way younger days. I was definitely not that introspective, and I wish I had been, you know, it. Would have been Yeah, but that comes with Asian experience. I think I think everyone goes through that, right, and that we all have our own journeys, and some of us some will learn that lesson sooner and some will take longer. I mean, I didn't become maybe a little more confident or felt like I had a voice. I mean I could have been maybe in my forties or maybe even fifties, right we just yeah, you think, oh I'm thirty five, I should know I probably didn't.

57:45 Right, Yeah, So that's something to really look forward to for everybody who's younger than us. Is it does? It? Does? I do just feel better at calmer, you know, you feel like more focused when you're older. And I think that's a lot to look that's a great thing to look forward to. Also when we're younger and we think about someone like we were kids, we think about our forty year old teacher like, oh my god, he or she's so old they're forty right. But then funny, but then we get older in a second, Wait a minute, I'm on a solid, more solid foundation now at this age than I was at that age, right, or more experience, more confidence, more yes, life experience right right?

58:27 So yeah, And I wish that the like like Donnie was saying, you know, I wish that the employers would would be more aware of these these attributes for older people instead of just automatically saying, oh he's you know, he's this age. We don't want him to get hurt lifting a box or something. So yeah, and there definitely are companies I've heard there are companies that look for that and embrace that, but it takes a little homework to find out where those companies are right because they do value someone who has, yes, older, but more experience. So that was wonderful, Gary, I mean it was, it was amazing. I can't believe how long I forgot the rat story.

59:10 I oh my god. I was so thrilled to see her because it's been forever and she looks the same. I mean it's just like nothing has changed. Yeah, so super happy to have her join us. So there was a lot of wonderful person too. She's not changed. I remember her being so sparkly and bright. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So are we ready to shut this one down? I think we are okay. Well, thank you for joining us at don and Gary Doing sixty. We hope you enjoyed spending some time and quality with us. Join us next time as we navigate the world at this age, as you don't forget that we're found on all the Spotify and Apple podcasts. Donna Gary on Instagram at Donna Gary Doing sixty. Gary, what's our email address. I forgot it.

59:52 I believe it is Don and Gary doing sixty at gmail dot com. And if you want to get a full load of us, all of it, don't forget YouTube it the fight for pod done. Gary Human sixty so great, Garry, thank. You, absolutely, thank you. This is great. We will see you and talk to you all person. Yes, I guess