#73 Corey Vaughn: Balancing Acts: A Conversation with Professional Water Skier

Intro  00:02

Welcome to Creative spirits unleashed, where we talk about the dilemmas of balancing work and life. And now, here's your host, Lynn Carnes.

Lynn  00:19

Welcome to the creative spirits on leash Podcast. I'm Lynn Carnes, your host. My guest for this week is Corey Vaughn. He's a professional water skier. And I've known him for more than 15 years, we've known each other through a lot of ups and downs of our water ski journeys. It's the beginning of the water ski season here in the United States, and the end of the water ski season on the other side of the world. Cory just came back from Australia, where he finished fourth at the Moomba masters. It's his it was his best performance there yet. But given the timing, we debated should we have this conversation now or later in the season, you know, do something after a notable performance or to talk about preparation? Well, balancing process and performance are a part of any professional athletes repertoire. So in the end, we realized processes worth talking about regardless of the results. So that's what we did. This conversation went deep, really from the very beginning. I asked Corey something about feedback. And he mentioned the need to truly be honest with ourselves if we're going to get better at anything. Anyone who has taken an honest look at themselves has to find a way to do that without being too self critical or giving up. I know I've done both. Cory shared some of his performance secrets around that. And he also talked about how he uses visualization. Now visualization is used by a lot of athletes, but it's pretty tricky for us water skiers more than you might expect. And we dove into how to make it work given that this is such a high speed, non forgiving sport. We also got into his goals for this season, and how he balances all the different aspects of his life like family and his ski school business and his athletic performance. Now the listeners of this podcast are well aware of how much I love talking about balancing acts. And I think you're gonna love this one because we really dive into a lot of the different balancing acts that he has as a professional athlete. Here's how Corey describes himself. I began waterskiing at age three, it was my family's favorite summer pastime. Despite childhood dreams of becoming a professional water skier, I could never have imagined how this sport and lifestyle would shape my life's path. At age 38 waterskiing remains a primary narrative in the story of my life. In fact, the waterski story may indeed be reaching its climax. So I find myself working to balance parenthood, partnership, business and my athletic endeavors at all times. There's never a dull moment. Back to land reading again. I would say one of the things that really struck me in this conversation was when Cory said he was deeply curious to see where the sport could take him. And I know I am too. I know you're gonna love this conversation with Cory von alreay. Welcome to the podcast.

Corey  03:16

Oh, thanks, Lynn. It's great to join you. And this is the first time I've ever been a repeat guest on a podcast. So it's a double honor.

Lynn  03:25

Oh, that's nice. I'm trying to think I've only had a couple of people that have ever been repeat guests on my podcast. And it was about four years ago that we first recorded your podcast, which if everybody can remember that was like in the throes of the pandemic. Yeah.

Corey  03:45

And I went back and listened to that pretty recently. And I was very happy that given what the pandemic became, and it's been so politicized and controversial. Neither one of us I don't think managed to say anything that doesn't stand the test of time and now looks back with with a lot of cringe like, oh, boy, why did I say that one? That's good.

Lynn  04:10

Yeah, you know, that funny that's funny about that feeling of cringe. Just being the person that leads the podcast, I've had to go I listened back to most of my podcasts. I, I mean, eventually, I listened to all of them for my own feedback. And I have to say, occasionally I do cringe because I'm like, Oh, I talked over someone, or, you know, didn't give them a chance to finish the sentence or whatever it might be. I found cringe cringe worthy moments. But I'm thinking about that in terms of performance and how useful feedback is for learning. And you and I have known each other a long time. Like, probably 15 years now or if not more, and I've seen you be a learner. So I'm curious. Like, what do you think is the key to You're learning and grew up?

Corey  05:03

Well, you certainly touched on it in terms of being willing to take that hard look. So, like going back and listening to yourself on audio and hearing your voice, I think that's something we all have a slight revulsion to like hearing your own voice, for some reason always sounds not so good, and it feels foreign. And then, of course, you and I being water skiers, I think we have that same feeling. I certainly, you know, share this with the people who come and ski with me that watching yourself waterski review in the video for the sake of learning, it has that same character as hearing yourself speak because you you watch it and you say, oh my gosh, like, I know, I was doing better than that, who is that stranger? That imposter impersonating me doing a much worse job than I know I just did. And, and that's the same way that we feel when we hear our own voice. But to learn and to grow to change, you know that the camera's not lying. You know, it's there's no photoshopping going on, when you go back and watch it in real time, that is what happens. And you do have to be able to take a square Look at that. And so to try to give the most direct answer, the thing that comes to mind most recently for me, is just doing a better job being more honest with myself. And it's right in this way, like, like the camera doesn't lie, like the audio recording doesn't lie. I think we're all masters at putting a little spin, however we want it, you know, and coloring our our memories, in hindsight, with a flavor that serves us today, whether it's kind of serving our ego today or some other, you know, motive like that. Where it's hard to be a little bit more honest, and to look at that, or to listen to that and say, Oh, to cringe, but then realize that that was what I said, that was what I did. That was what I looked like. And if I don't want to continue to look that way, then I'm going to have to make some sort of change. And change is hard. I think the reason that we, you know, doctor, our memories in a self flattering way is because we don't want to have to change, we'd rather just maintain whatever we have, like, we're somewhat invested in that we're playing our own character. And we want that character to always be the protagonist. And we don't want to think that we need to shift our role in some way to do better, we'd rather just say, No, what I'm doing is good. And let's stay there, because that's my comfort zone, and I'm happy. But that's the challenge I've been trying to bring to myself more often these days, it's just to be more honest with myself. And and, you know, we all get feedback from other people too. And some of that can be valuable. And some of that just needs to be straight up discarded because it is not valuable. So you need to be careful about who you listen to. But at the very end, you know, and using waterskiing as a lens, again, it's one of those activities where you're really competing against yourself, you're measuring against your own standard. And so if you, if you can't be honest with yourself, at the end of the day I get what that really means is you're living in a state of delusion, and I don't want to be doing that.

Lynn  08:38

Yeah, well, that's that feel a little bit harsh when I first hear it, and then I realized how many times I've caught myself in a state of delusion. I've been that person watching the waterski. Like I would, I would feel like I was April COBOL skiing with April Coble and then we'd look at the video back on the dock. And I'd be like, Who is that slow woman behind your boat? April, because it can't be me. I don't look anything like you. And realize, you know, truly, while I was skiing, I was in a state of delusion, if you want to get really honest about it.

Corey  09:14

Yeah, and I think you know, there's definitely a mismatch between what you're feeling when you're doing the activity. And then when you go back and watch it, you really see that that room for growth, where it's like, Oh, I thought I was deep into lean, my body position was perfect. I was strong. And then you look at it like, Oh, I was sitting in a chair, my body position, my posture was pretty lousy. And I guess I need to correct that. The other thing I've found, though, that kind of layer two maybe is that you also have to be on the lookout for when you go back and watch. It's easy to see what you want to see. It's easy to focus in on the parts that you did well and like oh, look at that they see there. That is what I was doing really well. You know, because everyone has their strengths and everyone has their way weaknesses. And so it's also taking the critical eye, you know, in a healthy way. water skiers, like like everybody else, we can also be super hard on ourselves. And that can be negative too. So there's a balance in that, too, if you don't want to only look at the negatives and start to get, you know, defeated by the fact that you're just never going to get to your goals, you're never going to be as good as you imagine that you could be in your mind. But you also don't want to only look at the couple moments where you feel like you really did execute and like, Aha, see, that's it and kind of gloss over and put the blinders on to the parts where the real growth is possible.

Lynn  10:48

You know, you just mentioned balance. And I think that's such a key part is like, being honest, but at the same time owning your progress, right? Like, I see the parts that are missing, but I also could see the parts that I do well on, how do I balance those two things. And you said water skiers, we do tend to be hard on ourselves. And you know, I spend a lot of time on our ski dock, down here watching people learning to ski and growing just like you, you know, are experiencing all the time. Do you find that people lean one way more than the other? Like, is there a trend? I think I've noticed, probably more people being harder on themselves than they need to be. I, I know a couple of people that I can think of that might be on the think more of themselves than they really are side. But most people are pretty hard on themselves, is what I've seen.

Corey  11:43

I think that that's right, I think most people are tend toward the self critical side. And I'd say largely, I see that as a as actually a negative. And I see that I think most people, their default position is they don't want to look at the tape, they don't want to see it. They're willing to be self critical without even taking the hard look. And then that's really just that's a posture, that's an attitude, you're just you're going you're repeating this cycle of it's an identity like I'm, I'm just hard on myself, I'm I'm not doing this, right, I'm not doing that, right. Like, as a coach, I get people showing up all the time. And I kind of always chuckle a lot of people want to preface to me what their quote, problems are. It's like, okay, here's what I do. I'm on the backfoot. And I don't get into the right position, and I pull too long. And they're telling me all the things that they do wrong, as if I probably won't see that as soon as we get going. But maybe it's a little bit of a self conscious thing, which is fine. We're all a bit self conscious. But I would say yeah, that focus tends to be more on what's going wrong. And so often as a, as a coach, especially when I'm working with somebody new, I really tried to make a point of always leading with, Okay, here's what I liked that you're doing, you know, here's a couple of things that I see that you're doing really well. And we want to keep that and we want to I want you to be aware that you're doing these things, well, also, just establishing rapport, I want to start off on a foot where it's supportive and nurturing. And I kind of I want by the end to be building that person up, I'm not sure if I can get buy in and trust without, you know, noticing. And I've tried to make those points, you know, nuanced to where the person realizes, Oh, yeah, you know, I do do those things pretty well, this guy is picking up on he's not just flattering me. Because he's, he's nice, or he's, I'm paying him money. And he wants me to like him. It's that, you know, these are some critical things that I observed that you're doing well, okay, now, you know, to, to put these pieces together to get that puzzle fitting, and really go to the next level, which is what you're here to do. Here's what I think we need to take a look. And then as we drill down on whatever that might be, I still just always want to frame that in one bite sized pieces, you know, small stepping stones, nobody, you know, kind of goes from where they are to just boom, the next level in, in the turn of a key, you know, maybe sometimes kids do kids are kind of remarkable and their ability to learn quickly, and you can give them a suggestion. And then somehow they're able to implement that maybe it's the lack of fear, or just their, their brain wiring. They're just so primed to, to make change and they don't they don't have that same level of self consciousness. But yeah, I want to, you know, put those small stepping stones out there. So you get some traction. It's like, okay, I felt something, I felt something new and then we can refine and say okay, that's, you know, a right step here, but we still need to refine this or that and, you know, get to the end of a lesson hopefully, where one there's just a new, some new understanding New conceptual framework and some new feelings to go with that. So that as you go forward, you can you can keep pulling on that thread keep evolving in that direction. And, and then hopefully that redirects, just that self critical lens where your your thoughts are, I'm not doing this or I shouldn't be doing that to an actual Okay, here's what I'm attempting to do. Like it's it's a net more narrow focus. It's specific, and it's actionable versus more of an attitude of, I don't know, but you know, I just have this problem.

Lynn  15:39

You said a really interesting word, I want to pull the thread on this a little bit as, as I've worked on my own skiing game, and every other game, you said the word feelings to go with that? Right? Because our comfort zone to me is grounded in what we physically feel. Which, back to the idea of being honest, feels like the truth. But what I've started recognizing is how do I make the distinction between something that is dangerous versus something that is different? Meaning that my inner feelings, my desired comfort zone, when it's different, my brain will try to tell me it's dangerous. Rather than telling me it's just different? And so how do you help people sort through that calibration, so that they can actually, like, for example, sometimes in skiing, for example, especially early on, I tended to want to be more forward because it felt safer. Whereas it would just mean I was going to be doing a lovely out the front if I wasn't careful. And learning to get more balanced on the ski felt different. And on the way to feeling different, if you will, it felt dangerous, until I realized that was a safer position, like I had to convince my inner balancing system that that was safer than the other way. So how do you help people sort that out? Because it feels like your body's telling you the truth when it's lying to you?

Corey  17:13

Yes, that's right. Well, I think that's one of the reasons why I want to step establish a good rapport right off the bat, because I think, in many cases, if we can get that trust than simply working with somebody who you can believe what they're telling you, you know, with some authority, that alone can help versus just, you're not going to push outside your comfort zone as easily on your own, whether it's skiing, or anything else. I feel like we all need mentors, we all need guides to come forward for growth, you know, we need somebody light shining some light on the path, you may just not see yourself. And it may not be intuitive at all, and seek skiing, it's certainly that way, a lot of the things that we're trying to make our bodies do are the opposite of what is intuitive. That's why there's a set of common habits that most skiers need to break, because people kind of want to go into these safer and more defensive type of positions, or their feeling of inner security. So to me, I need to gain that person's trust, so that they're even willing to take my suggestion, because I know whether I'm never, I don't feel like I'm ever pushing somebody to do something that actually is more dangerous. I think once they kind of get their head around it or get their body's feeling around it, it actually is going to be much safer, but it is going to present to them as dangerous and uncomfortable at first, just because it's different, as you said. So first, I just gotta get them to believe me so that they feel like what I'm telling them is valid, and they're willing to take that first step into discomfort. You know, it's like putting yourself in cold water or something like that you're willingly putting yourself into a state of discomfort. But you believe that there's something better on the other side? If you didn't, why would you do it. And so I need to get that buy in, right up front. And then you know, that's where it's back to small steps. Like I'm not the type of coach, I don't want to throw people into the deep end and just see if they sink or swim. Because going for big change with one broad stroke. I mean, that could be dangerous, they you could feel something different. And you just don't have the body awareness at the speed that you're going. If you get in a precarious position to correct course or, you know, to not wipe out or something like that. So, you know, I'm trying to one communicate very thoroughly. I really try to be precise with my words. And and I'll check with them after I've put forward an idea. I will often say Does that make sense? Like do you understand what I'm saying? And I appreciate it when people will kind of translate back to me what they heard in many cases we have to then I've got to come back and say okay, Okay, I see how you got to that thought. But that's not exactly what I'm saying, Here, let's, let's try some new words to get at the same thing. So I want to make sure that they feel equipped with at least the right information. So that when they go to make an attempt, that they, you know, are trusting what they're doing. And then I also try to let them know, hey, if it feels awkward, if it feels goofy, if you feel like you're making, you know, be willing to make a little bit of a mistake, I don't, again, I don't want you to feel like you're putting yourself in danger. But this is going to feel different, your body is going to somewhat rebel against it. But try to try to stay with this, you know, in this small first step, and in many cases, if if we can get that far, and they can just get that first to dip their toe into the cold water and decide, okay, I'm alive, still, this is not so bad, maybe I can go up to my knees, then, you know, okay, then we got some traction, then I say, okay, that's you got to step there, you see, that was different, it didn't feel comfortable yet. But here's where we're going. So here's the next step. Now, let's try to do this. And if we can, if we can, you know, build on that just a bit, even in one session, at least now going forward, you know, they have some confidence that there's a light at the end of that tunnel, and they will keep going, whether working, you know, with me or another coach, or even on their own, they can believe that they can keep pushing into this new direction, because the easiest thing to do also is ski with a coach for a day, start to get some of these new feelings worked out. But it's just so easy to return to your typical baseline, where your body back into your comfort zone where your body wants to go. So that's the constant challenge. And that's why it sounds self serving, because I am a coach, but I'm trying to convince people that regular check ins are good. If you want to stay accountable to what you're trying to do, then keep showing up. And let's keep working on it together. And I'm going to try to make an environment where you feel like you can learn and you feel like you are supported. And, you know, hopefully that that gets you to where you want to go people without, if you're not committed to a goal, you're just kind of doing it for fun. You know, I've noticed that too. Not everyone has the same level of ambition. And that's okay. And if that's the case, if somebody's primary concern is I just want to want to be able to do this safely. I want to feel coordinated, I want to feel safe, but I'm not trying to set the world on fire here, I'm not breaking any records, I'm not entering any competitions, then that's healthy, I want to know that because that's going to, I'm not going to push them as far into that territory, I'm going to give them some more foundational information that can allow them to do their practice in the way that they want to do. And there doesn't have to be the same end goal for everybody.

Lynn  22:58

Yeah, actually, I think that's an incredibly important distinction, because different people do show up. I'm one who is much less competitive than I was early years after I did a few tournaments, I realized I didn't like spending my whole day at tournaments anymore. So I just want to go out and run passes, you know, and, like, work work my way up a little bit. You know, I've gotten to where I spend most of the time in the summer at the 22 offline every now and then we jump up to 28. But mostly, I'm just like trying to run passes and feel good. You know, and

Corey  23:30

people like that, I kind of consider those like my yoga practice people. It's like, you're, you're doing this as a life practice, it gives you when you put something in, it gives back to you. But yeah, every day doesn't have to be the day that you get into these complex postures, you don't have to be striving, striving, like a good yoga practice is something you show up to do to clear your head and feel better for the day, you know, challenge your body, you know, get the mind body connected, and then you just carry on with your day with with a greater sense of well being. Yeah, a great way to approach skiing. I mean, I love those people that come to ski school because it also doesn't feel like their whole week is riding on how this set goes. And if it's not a good outcome, you know, they're angry at themselves. They're, you know, huffing and puffing as they leave the dock. And it's just a great sense of disappointment, like, you know, when you practice yoga, some days, you're a little more limber, and everything kind of flows together and you're really into it. And even a challenging practice goes easily. And some days you get on to the mat and it just it feels like the mat wins and but that was still worth doing. You still leave that saying I'm glad I did that because I guess I really needed it. Then I had some sticky spots in me today. And at least I exercise those and now I feel better for having done it. And I think that's great. And then there are people who do have, you know, serious performance goals and they're aiming to win championships and they're putting themselves in high stakes at variations, and then the approach is different, you know, they need, yeah, they need something different from me.

Lynn  25:05

Yeah, well, and I love the way you framed it, it makes me feel great because I actually am. For me, a great ski set is one where I feel like I was actually in the moment, every split second of that pass. And when I get out of balance, and then get back into balance, and can continue in the past, to me, that's one of the most rewarding victories that I could possibly have. You know, and, and if I end up in the water, because that's where I needed to end up, that's okay, too. But it's just being in the moment, the hallway, rather than kind of getting to the end and going, I don't even know what happened, you know, I don't want to be so lost. And my fear because sometimes I'm pushing it that I'm in my fear that I don't know what was happening.

Corey  25:49

Right. And I mean, that's where also, you're certainly going to derive the most joy from the practice. And that's where you're gonna get the most improvement, even if you're not hell bent on improvement for improvement sake, because you have a metric that you're trying to meet, you know, I've found, I've been at this for a good long while now. And I do know that I'm performing my best. Also, when I'm having the most fun, those two things are hand in hand, and there's a little bit of a chicken and an egg problem that can come up sometimes, because there are times where you really do have to push yourself to get towards the results that you want. But then also, if you get too wrapped up, and just the pushing the striving, and the output, and the results, it can, you can get lost to use your words. And the joy is not there, being in the moment is not there, it's a lot of spiraling thoughts. And, you know, you can come off the water and be like, I don't even know what I just did, you know, I was like trying to focus on 10 things, I didn't do any of them. And that's a very defeating feeling. So I think being able to more often show up, and, you know, take the pressure off of yourself. In many cases, even with some of my high performers, that's what I'm looking to do is, is present them with a challenge that they can obtain, but to remove the expectations, so that they can like so that we together can be in the moment like I'm I'm part of the team of let's be in the moment together, let's make this an experience that we're kind of in deep. And then when you come out the other side, you have all those takeaways you have a clarity about what you're reflecting on, rather than man I got lost out there. I don't even know what that was.

Lynn  27:45

Yeah. Well, you know, you were talking about your performance. And I actually got to watch Moomba because I was in Oregon. And it wasn't in a ridiculously late hour here on the United States. So I actually got to watch just a little bit of it. And I got to watch you ski. And you're looking amazing. Tell me about your Moomba experience, because I was like damn, is he looking good?

Corey  28:09

Oh, thank you. You know, it was a great experience. Overall, I It's tricky to get ready for Moomba coming out of Virginia, because it's in happens in early March. And that's really the offseason where I live. So you know, it involved some commitment, especially having a family these days, I need to get more warm, where I can train. So I got down to Florida for four days in January to kind of just fire things up, see where I was on on the ski and get some get my feelings going. And then I took a longer a longer trip in February about two weeks to get some, you know, a steady stint of training. And I got to go over to Australia about you know, four days early. I got four days of training in country before the event. And that's about as much preparation as I can manage coming from here. The other thing that I changed in this offseason, which I think has really helped a lot is I started seeing a sports psychologist, and just having weekly meetings. One of the practices that he got me started with in I want to say we started meeting in December was just a visualization practice, which was always one of those things that I was aware of, but I never established as a strong part of my complete waterski training regimen. Mainly because it's hard and I wasn't very good at it. And so I would sit there and close my eyes and try to visualize what's going on and it would be not going well and I get a little frustrated and then I'd kind of scrap it. But like I knew it would be good. So having somebody from for myself to be accountable to and to have a guide, put forward a suggestion and say, Okay, I'm putting my faith in this person, if I don't do what he says, you know, what am I paying them for. And so I really think that that practice has helped me. So my training in January and in in February sort of coming out of the cold, actually was it, it was much better than it otherwise would have been everything kind of came alive and started clicking much faster, I got traction much more quickly, because I had some mental touch points, at least I was seeing things that I wanted to do. And I actually, as I took to the water, some of the habits that I was trying to correct, just using the mental imagery, I started to feel that translating into the physical practice of skiing, and I thought, wow, that's, that's powerful. If I've just been running this through my mind. And now I'm actually as I get started, I'm feeling these changes happen on the water. You know, that was very positive. So that gave me a dose of confidence. Because knowing that I'm a little less trained up as far as water time than a lot of my competitors would be. It can, it can affect the confidence, which is obviously paramount when you know, in a sport like ours in sport like waterskiing, it's very Do or die, you don't get do overs, you just have to go out there and perform. So, you know, that was good, I was pretty pleased with, with my preliminary performance at moonbug. put myself in second seed, I really felt like I had a good chance to do something special and to win, which I really wanted to do, because that would automatically qualify me for the Masters and saved me from having to go down to Florida during May and try to qualify that way, which is again, more time away from the family. You know, it didn't happen, you know, at the finals. It was close couple things didn't go my way. I ended up just a smidge right off the podium in fourth place. So finally, yeah, that was actually I think I was, although it was it was my best finish in the Moomba. Monday, it was still like I was kind of gut wrenching. I put my expectations up so high for that one because I didn't feel really good coming into training had been so positive. But you know, the one thing about that trip that was also really cool was that one of my up and coming rising stars, was there skiing in the juniors. And I got the chance to coach her in those four days of training prior to the event, and be a part of that process. And she went out there. skied really well took second place. Stick Yeah. And so I was very proud. Coaching mom, coaches mom, and I'm very close with her and her family too. So it's, it was just a good like, emotional boost. So at least between the two of us one came home with some hardware. And that leaves me with some some work to do you know, that's early start to the season, I've got plenty more opportunity to chase down some of the goals I have for this year. Well,

Lynn  33:12

okay, I want to follow the goals thread in a second. But I do want to talk about the visualization piece, because I'm probably not the only one listening to this that's getting that question. I've played a lot with visualization. As you know, I do a lot of work with my clients on their mental game. And I'm a huge fan of visualization because there's so much research behind our brains can actually create not just neural pathways, but physical pathways. So I'm very, very huge believer in it. But I've had one huge Hiccup and I want to know how you overcome this hiccup. For me, when I'm doing my best visualization, skiing feels smooth and almost I hate to say it slow because we're fast. I mean, even at my speeds, things are happening really fast at yours. They're happening at lightning speed. And what I have had to learn to do is calibrate my visualization to correlate with the speed of the past. So for example, My past is 20 seconds, yours is 16. But to run through a pass and my visualization, I might take two minutes to do the six buoys. So how have you made the visualization work for you? And it may not even be that it's a timed thing. How do you do it?

Corey  34:29

Yeah, no, you're you're dead on the money. So when I started the practice, my sports psychologist said, you know, obviously here we want to be imagining you doing things as close to quote perfect as you can you want to see yourself doing it the way you really want to do it. So I was like you things were more in slow motion. I was really minding the precision of the movements and how everything would come together. And I was doing it at a much lower timescale than real time. So when I got down there in January, the experience that you're describing is exactly what I had the movements that I was picturing, really were showing up. And I felt those physical changes, my body was responding in a way that I thought was actually better than it had in the past, I was doing things, quote, unquote, more correctly than than before. But I'll be darned, it felt fast. And that, having that experience, you know, I talked it out with with him with the psychologist has said, Whoa, I can tell here, I've been doing things in a slowed down rate, I guess I need to pick up the pace and try to still keep the good form, but do it closer to real time. So he encouraged me to try to incorporate that into the practice. So what I've been doing now is actually, at first, I think I began just sitting on a mat, like a cushion, and closing my eyes and picturing the whole scene, you know, even dropping at the end of the lake and what the boat does, and just going through it, but the whole thing was slow, it was just the whole process. Now, what I do is I keep a ski handle in the, in the trunk of my Chevy Tahoe, and I've got a ball hitch on the back. And so I do most of my visualization training. Now, I just take that handle out, I slap it on to the ball hitch, and I close my eyes, and I tried to actually move through it. So I have the tactile sensation as well, where I'm actually moving side to side, you know, somewhat mimicking the body positions that I'll have going through the lean, and then coming through the edge change, letting go, you know, imagine the ski moving out. And then I'm trying to do that I'm not running a timer. But by doing that, I it's syncing up much more with the rate of speed of the course. And so making that change is is what helped me sync up the timing, because that that was the really the one. That's the one huge hurdle. And then the other one is now that my ski school is in full swing, and the just things are busier. It's just making sure to show up. I mean, that's the other one is to fit it into the day. And try to dedicate time it's like, okay, I know, this matters. I know, this works, I need to make this a fundamental part of everyday like brushing my teeth, not like oh, I'll do it later, maybe shoot, something else came up. That's, I think everyone can have that challenge at times. But now the timing thing is huge. But so for me, just bringing it to mind body connection, and walking through those motions, you know, then I don't just have to, I think I was spending too long, picturing myself doing it. Whereas when my body can actually somewhat imitate what I want to be doing, then I can speed it up. Yeah, do it closer to real time.

Lynn  38:11

That makes a ton of sense. And I you know, I've seen people actually doing that before I've done it myself, you're making me think, you know, this season would be a good season for me to go back to doing that practice a little bit more because it is, it is so beneficial. But the other thing I noticed and then we're gonna get to your goals is you're running a ski school. And I've spent quite a bit of time with April Coble and Austin Abel, who are also who were also performing and running ski school. And there is you talked about carving out that time. And really, it's also tension. Because you're it's like, what do you find more beneficial, I've seen it done both ways. And that maybe there's even more ways than this. But one way is to sort of carve out that time and you kind of quit being the host and teacher, if you will, and become the professional and put a kind of a wall up around that. It's your time you're focusing. And the other way is to sort of use the pressure of the people wanting to watch you and you know, people getting excited because it's time for quarry to be on the dock and all that. Like how do you manage that time so that it both benefits, frankly, your business and your performance?

Corey  39:27

Yeah, that has certainly been a tricky thing to navigate. And that's where, over the years trying to be a learner. That's probably one of the biggest places where I'm always trying to refine my methods because there is a constant tension between where do I need to place my attention, there's running the business, there's the athletic performance side, and then now like April like Austin, I'm a parent I have the hair I've got a a two year old almost three in June. And all the parents out there will know that that requires you know that have every bit of your your energy and attention. So it's kind of a, you know, juggling three, three balls and really not wanting to drop any of them like I never, never can drop the family ball. That's, that's priority number one. And in this sport, unfortunately, the professional side is not going to put bread on the table for the family. So no matter if I, if I achieve my goals and have great success at pro tournaments with cash prize, it's still not going to be something to support a family on. So I need that business piece to be running really well. And that's been my baby too, you know that this is the 14th year of the ski school. And it's it's grown, you know that each year. And I have a lot of, it's taken a lot of elbow grease and a lot of work. And I don't want to see any of that growth, you know, or mainly, I don't want to see any of the quality that I feel like has been there along the way and the attention to detail. As things grow. And as it evolves and takes new branches, I don't want to see the quality slip on any one of those parts. So now it's not just the waterski service part, I also have overnight accommodation. So we're running a very small, you know, not really hotel, but we're running lodging, I have a pro shops, and we're running a retail business at the same time. So it's got several arms, you know, we all work they work together, but they each require their their attention and needing to be on top of things. So, you know, specifically to your question, I have found the need for boundaries is something that I've had to learn my way into, and I do need to, you know, I do need to maintain those. So one thing I've done is I have an automated booking system now where people sign up online, and I can constrain my hours, I can block off time that I'm not going to be available so that I simply can't be booked. So typically, my wife will pick up ours, normally I drop off my son in the morning. So I will block off my mornings, the ski school opens at eight, I have a pro skier here from Canada, who is my assistant coach. So I do have somebody that can continue to operate the lessons while I'm not in the boat. So I'm kind of blocked off from eight until 10. Every morning, that gives me a chance to have a nice morning breakfast with my family, get my son to school come home, maybe I need to fire off some emails or do whatever needs to be done before I'm going down to get in the boat and get my own warm ups in if I'm going to ski that day. And then I typically try to block myself off and get out of the boat at about 430 or five because that's the time of day where my son will be coming home. And I want to be I want to have my hands free so that if he wants to play in the sand play in the water. I'm there you know, along with my wife and we're having some family time at the lake. And they're not just watching me ride up and down the lake in the boat. I don't want him to grow up feeling like waterskiing is the thing that takes me away, I want it to be a family thing that we all do together if he wants to continue doing it. And not not something that he feels is, you know, taking up time that we would otherwise have together. So those boundaries are there. The other thing I do is I borrow this from Swiss ski school. They run I think from eight to eight every day, but they close from noon to two. And that's coach's ski time. So I adopted that. So at noon to two the schedule is blocked off, nobody can book lessons at that time. And that like so I know when I'm going to ski, I'm going to ski between noon at noon and two, on the days that I'm going to ski and that represents a big change from just a few years ago where if people wanted to ski I was going to take their booking and many days I watched myself just write off my own skiing to fill in more slots to pull more lessons, or I didn't think Oh, hopefully I'll get to ski this day. And then many times it wouldn't happen and I would become resentful and get a bad attitude about it. And that's not healthy because then I'm a little bit angry at my own clientele. And that's that's not helping me. And I feel like I'm not getting the preparation I need to now I know when I'm going to get to ski my wife, you know ski on her lunch break. So that we get to do that together, which I love. The coaches that I have coming through here, they know they're going to have a dedicated time to ski and they're not going to get pushed to the margins, and maybe they won't get a chance to train also because it's important to them. So on the timeline, I've built those things and those are good firm boundaries that have helped a lot. And yet still, you know, especially with family life and stuff like right now, my son has an ear infection and everyone that's been apparent toddlers and ear infections. You know, that's just one of the many things that can happen that wrenches get thrown in, too. The picture all the time, and I'm trying to get better at responding without feeling overwhelmed without getting too anxious without missing my deadlines for various things, but it's a constant challenge. And I'd say I'm very much still learning and trying to work through that.

Lynn  45:20

Yeah, it's well, I'm and I'm not sure there's ever any, there's not a there there. You know, it's it's but but I really love some of the ways that you've structured that, especially that noon to two piece, you know, because, first of all, that's probably going to be kind of close to the time you often ski. Yes. So you're not on the border, you're not having to always ski at the end of the day when the sun's going down, or, you know, the glare is on the water or whatever, those kind of weird times you know, that don't work, but you're gonna get exhausted, you're exhausted. And like you said, maybe even a little bit resentful. But, but And yet, you've done it to yourself. And, you know, it's not just skiers that do this. Probably one of the most profound coaching things that I help people with is put yourself on your calendar first. You know, it's like the, it's like the financial thing, we tell people pay yourself first, right? If you're gonna save money, the first chunk comes into your savings account, and then everything else goes to pay all the other stuff. And that's a good way to build wealth. Well, if we want to build personal physical wealth, if you will, energetic wealth, we have to put ourselves first. And it kind of goes against the way we're conditioned. Yes, you know, people will put the selfish label on you if you're not careful.

Corey  46:38

Yeah, and that's a tricky, you know, I feel that because I want to create this great atmosphere, I want people to feel welcome and enjoy their time here. And you mentioned about people, you know, kind of wanting to ride the boat, if I'm training or all that I've kind of come, you know, different. Prosecutors have different attitudes about that some really like that time to be protected, and they don't want to be interfered with by onlookers or whatever. I don't have that. And I think it's fortunate in my case, because it would be hard to totally avoid, I'm actually always happy if the people that are here, if they want to stay in watch, if they want to ride in the boat, you know, if anything, I feel like that's, that gives me something closer to competition mode, where I know there's gonna be eyes on people are going to be watching maybe scrutinizing. And it gives me an opportunity to practice focusing through that. And so that's something that I kind of welcome. Yeah. And that's just not getting stressed out about that. It's more beneficial to just say, yep, if you you want to come in the boat, come on, you want to watch from the dock, you know, be my guest, take video, do whatever you want. That's all fine and good. Maybe don't share the video to social media. Unless, unless I give you the thumbs up. Right. But But yeah, I'm pretty open to that. Well, it's,

Lynn  47:58

it's funny, because, you know, I drive for Austin quite a bit in his tournament practice, he's got a couple of us that drive for him. And when he's getting ready for a tournament, I have just said to him, I'm gonna put tournament like pressures on you. Because things happen in the tournament, like you think you're up and there's a weather delay, or they have to switch the boat, or they have to get in gas. So they all of a sudden throw a new driver at you, whatever it might be. And so he just knows it, when we're getting ready to do trying to practice I might be walking down the stairs and he's ready to ski and he's mentally ready and I'll turn around, go, hang on, I gotta go get something to boathouse, I'll be right back. And I'm doing that not to life annoy him, but to like, make that normal. And we do the same thing. Put people in the boat, you know, we work with the weight, obviously, and all that, but just thanks. Like, a couple of times I've even like said, Look, I'm going to be tournament driver, not Lin, which means I'm not going to talk to you at the end of the lake, I'm gonna be kind of chilly. Because sometimes you get a driver that's like that.

Corey  48:58

Absolutely. I'm a big believer in. Yeah,

Lynn  49:01

if that turns your mental game, that's not good. You know? No,

Corey  49:04

you have to be ready for anything these situations happen. And I'm, I'm sure that it's not that I've had those things happen to me more than anyone else. It feels that way. Sometimes I'm sure everyone else has had to deal with it in equal measure, but they happen more frequently than you'd like. And you have to be able to focus through, not lose your composure. And I tried to find ways of adding pressure. When it's we're ramping up for competition. What can I do you know, if it's just run the camera, get somebody in the boat to take video, or run a tournament set where if I fall or if I miss a buoy, that's it swimming in. That's the end of it. I don't get the get to have any more fun like, because that's the worst feeling in a competition. You're, you know, you go down a little earlier than you want and you're just devastated and you're just sitting there in the water by yourself and you got to swim in.

Lynn  49:57

That's the that's the strangest thing about our sport. is like you You not only do you have to swim in but then you got to walk back in front of everybody in front of everybody soaking wet barefoot on rocks or thorns or, you know, generally it's not a, it's not a red carpet that you're walking back on. I remember one, I was down at little mountain, you were probably at the start back, you almost certainly were at this tournament. But I was sitting at the end of the dock talking to Jeff Rogers. And all of a sudden, I really, I mean, we were just having this lovely conversation. And all of a sudden, I realized it was like two skiers for him. And he hadn't started getting ready, and I apologize. And he just looked at me and strategy, shoulder goes, buoys are always at the same place. And because I said, I'm so sorry, I'm keeping you from getting ready. And he just, and I was like, Jeff, I wish I could bottle that. He's

Corey  50:45

always he's cool as a cucumber, all the time. I mean, that's, he's, he's had that demeanor ever since I've known him. Yeah, we overlapped for a short while on the on the competitive circuit. And that's true to form for Jeff. But But then, of course, he's one of the greatest of all time, you know, and yeah, being able to, he's got it bottled, whatever that is, he's not going to be rattled. And for me, that's one of the places where I want to improve this year is those those minutes leading up to taking to the water? That's, that's a tricky time to like, I don't think I know where I want to be. Do I want to be like, Jeff, just having a casual chat with everybody, and just so nonchalant. And, you know, I trust that as soon as I put the ski on, I change gears mentally, my ski brain turns on, and I know what I'm about to do. I've had experiences like that. And then or do I want to be headphones on my play list? Very inside my own bubble. I can't even see the other people around me. I can't hear them. I don't talk to them. I've had times where I do that. And it's been good, too. And then it kind of leads me to think Well, should I just have a flexible approach and see how I feel that day, depending on what I want to do? I haven't quite figured out what my you know, I, Jeff is like you said, I think he's always like that. And that's just how he operates. And he knows it. And that's great. I think I need to learn still, you know, what's, what's my best go to? Scenario? Do I want to isolate? And be focused and and be relaxed? Maybe my music lay down on a beach towel by myself just away from things? Or do I want to have a little bit of time like that? And then say, okay, you know, whatever happens happens, if people come up and chat and start talking to me, then I'll talk with them. And you just sign somewhere that you can't control. If you get too rigid about it. Like I really don't want to talk to anybody like it Moomba in the finals. Yeah, I've got my, my best on my bib on, I'm putting my gloves on. I'm like next to go off the dock. And of course, this is an A, it's in the middle of downtown Melbourne, there's 1000s of people all around. And some guy and his wife come walking by. And he wants to know what's going on. He's got 1000 Questions about the waterski tournament. And oh, you're from the United States. And this guy's from England. And he's given me the 20 questions on everything. And ever kind of looking at him, like you're not picking up the context clues here, buddy. Like, I'm literally going out in in the biggest waterski tournament in the world in about three minutes. I'm putting my gloves on, you know, we don't have it like the Olympics where you're partitioned away from the crowd, I'm just standing there in a park. And this guy's Jabberjaw yelling at me. And so you know, but I tried to just put on the internal smile and be like, well, I can't control it, you know, this guy is going to talk to me right now, I might as well not let it affect me, I'm going to walk down there in a minute. And when I get to the dock and start putting my ski, ski on and my handle on the rope, then I'll be ready to go. Right now I'll just humor this fellow and I kept trying to walk away, he was really not picking it up, I kind of back up, oh, it keep coming. So you know these things happen. And so I guess I want some flexibility in the response, or in my preparation. But you know, also just, you gotta let some things just gotta go with the flow. Well,

Lynn  54:15

you know, you just hit on the key. I mean, it you can't put especially in ski tournaments because of the way they're structured. There's really not a way to sequester yourself. And so it's really can I get myself when I when something does interfere, can I recover back to my mindset? You know, how do I stay at night? How do I stay in that mindset with some level of perfection, but how flexible Am I to bring my mindset back, no matter what comes at me. And to me that's really like, a worthy challenge to put in front of myself when I'm working on anything is how well do I recover? As opposed to how well do I be perfect and perfect. Yeah, go ahead talk about perfection, by the way. Well,

Corey  55:02

yeah, I said, That's it, that's a dangerous trap that I've fallen into too many times we, we can go into that or not. But basically in skiing, you know, I don't know if I've, if I've ever had a perfect run, we're always trying to kind of strive for this, toward this ideal of perfection. But it can be so dangerous, because then it opens the door so much to that self criticism. And that attitude of of defeatism where you're just never measuring up, never measuring up. And I've certainly been there. And it's, it's totally not constructive and other parts of life, the same thing. I mean, I think the place where I struggle with that, more than on the water is off the water, in my, my overall training to be better on the water. It's like, Am I doing everything possible, and I've driven myself a little bananas at times, just trying to do all the things like I want to do breath work, and I want to do I want to be meditating, and I want to do my mental imagery, and I want to do cold exposure, and I need to do my workouts. And, you know, I need to eat the perfect food. And then you kind of come up with this unobtainable list of all of the right things that you could do that just they're not going to fit into your day or week. I mean, maybe if you're Olympian, and this is what you're, you have funding and you're paid to do this, not when you're also running a full time business and, and having a family, you just don't have the luxury to have all the things that you can imagine happen in a day. So then it's back to that flexibility. Okay, what do I really need today, what's really going to help and get rid of some of the clutter and the noise of all these other things that, okay, maybe they would help, but obsessing about them and trying to force them into the picture, that's not going to help because it's just going to be a constant feeling of not hitting all of the milestones.

Lynn  56:56

And then, and then you feel like, you're back to that like self defeating mindset of I didn't do enough. And I, I've actually started paying attention, because it's such a mind game to golf. I've been watching full swing on Netflix and so forth, and, you know, watched, you know, different aspects of golf and so forth. And what I'm fascinated by is, I'm going to call out a name here, Rory McIlroy, who really wants to think when Masters is the one he hadn't won yet. And he's doing all those things. He's probably as fit as any other golfers. I think he's doing every single thing and yet not quite hitting the mark. Whereas Scottie Scheffler who almost seems lackadaisical when he's playing, but he he's a master at recovering from mistakes, like he's gotten himself in some horrible places. And then comes right back. And it's like, mainly because he doesn't take it so seriously. And he seems to be incredibly good at staying in the moment. Like, what is this golf shot that I need to do right now? Not what did that golf shot do to the rest of my game? And you're not in tell me just I'd love to hear your reaction to that. That game is so very different because it's long. It affords lots of mistakes. waterskiing is short, and it doesn't have to be perfect. But you have to hit all the gates and Dewey's or you're out.

Corey  58:20

Oh, yeah, one one critical mistake, and it's over. Yeah. But I think what you're saying about the mindset is right, and I think what came to mind was that an internal feeling of insecurity and self doubt, or an internal feeling of confidence, I mean, that's going to be the difference. If you're, if you're trying to do all of these things, and they feel like, Oh, this is what I have to do, in order to be at my best. And then you've got a laundry list of things that you can't complete, then you're going to feel the natural conclusion is, well, I'm not at my best because I haven't checked every single box. And it's been pointed out to me by my sports psychologist, if you're just checking boxes, you're even not present with those activities. If you're just doing breath work to say I did that today, then you're probably not actually getting all the benefits of really being in that moment. And having the experience and having the physiological and mental benefits of practicing that breath work. You're just doing it because you feel like you had to do it. Now you check that one off and on to the next. And so if you can carry around an attitude that hey, when push comes to shove, I got this, then you can, you know, try to prepare adequately, but you're more open to if something goes a little bit wrong. You still say okay, I got my way out of this. I know what to do to fix this. Whereas if you're always striving for this perfectionism across the board, 24 hours a day, seven days a week, 365 days a year, and then you're feel like you're persistent results. Is that you're not doing all those things, you're gonna carry around some of that self doubt and insecurity because like, I know I didn't do, I missed my mental imagery the other day. So now I'm not going to be at my full game. And then when you have to respond in that moment of, of challenge, your baseline belief is going to be I'm not quite at my best because I didn't do X, Y, or Z. And that's something that I've struggled with, and I'm working to correct like, I see it as the great champions of whatever sport in our sport, it's, you know, like a Regina Jaquith are currently Nate Smith. I don't, I don't think they get riddled with that self doubt, they kind of, if something goes wrong in the morning of they can't get the breakfast that they want at the hotel, and it's like, oh, my options are terrible. It's just like, well take the best option, and move on. Because at the end, when I go to get on the water, I'm going to do what I do. And it's not really going to matter what I had for breakfast, it's just, you know, I've done I've done the right breakfast all the other days, and it's just inconsequential at this point. Whereas it's easy to get in the trap of, oh, this, this isn't what I thought or this person is talking to me right before I went and now I feel like I'm, I'm not in my same headspace. And you switch gears to that little bit of doubt, and, and just a sliver of doubt. And that can that's the difference, that can be the difference. It

Lynn  1:01:29

sure can. And, you know, you talked about having that internal feeling. That internal feeling, I think creates an energetic signature that other people can feel, and other beings and I have definitely in my work with horses, discovered, you know, their entire language is energy. And if you bring that kind of perfectionistic, I didn't check all the boxes. Because I almost like think of it as red energy mindset. And with a horse, it's repulsive to them, like try to catch a horse like that. And you know, they're faster than we are, you can't catch him. But I've actually been able to make the shift, sort of breathe in doing a similar breathing, we did a little heart breath, breathing before we started this podcast. For you know, what you call heart rate variability, if you can do that, it changes your energetic signature, and I've had horses come from across the pasture, as soon as I switched. So it was to me living proof that that internal feeling creates an energy and that energy connects with how we interact with everything we're doing, whether it's the ski handle and the ski in the boat, or other animals. So this is more of a statement than it is a question. But it's like, I think it really does make a huge difference how you cultivate an internal feeling, almost of well being and confidence that I can recover from anything bad breakfast, talking to the dog, whatever.

Corey  1:03:00

And I think in, you know, in skiing or another competitive sport where you're around your competitors, they can pick up on that and see that they can, if they can smell fear, if they can smell that you're rattled, it makes their life just a little bit easier, because then they say, Okay, well, this guy's already rattled, and it's probably one less person to have to worry about. I just kind of, I don't feel like them. That pushes me up in confidence. And I can see that, as I project more confidence. That's actually scary to them, it pushes them down further. And, and so that's something I feel like last year, I actually had a positive change in my approach that even if I was feeling some nerves, at times, I was much more I'd say overall, I actually did feel feel more confident naturally. But I also was much more mindful about what I was going to express and project and what I was going to let show and the only thing that I was going to let show was, yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready to go out there and you watch what's about to happen. And then good luck, you know, trying to compete with it. And whether I really felt that way internally or not just making sure that that was the demeanor one, I think it actually helped buoy me a little bit in holding my level up. But it also didn't create an opening in the door a crack in the door for my competitors to say he is frazzled. You know he Yeah, that's one less that I've got to contend with today. And then as I kind of as I felt myself make a bit of a shift there. It was much easier to detect those senses of doubt and insecurity from my fellow competitors if somebody's running up and down the shore like Did you see the wind or what do you think about the the glares happening right now or did you see what what happened to that person? Do you think the boats doing this?

Lynn  1:04:56

There's rollers on buoy three. Yeah, exactly.

Corey  1:04:58

Jack made all these all these facts. actors that people can get run around talking about. I'm like, Haha, good. You go ahead and think about that. That's great. Yeah, I'll kind of Oh, yeah, look at that. Oh, that looks pretty tricky out there. I don't know, well, we'll just have to see how it goes. And in my mind, I'm thinking, Oh, good. They're, they're already taking themselves out. I was aware of what they saw. I'm not worried about it, I have my plan. And, you know, let let them deal with the concern about it. I'm gonna go execute it what my plan is. So having that shift, probably as much as anything, I feel like when it came to competition time last year, that really helped me and I want to keep developing that, that skill. Yeah. Which

Lynn  1:05:43

is a, it's a, it's back to that feeling thing. And I hear a lot of talk about this amongst professional athletes is finding that feeling that, you know, is the feeling, it's like you're calling it confidence. But it's the feeling of connection with your sport, or with your you know, it's like when everything is in like harmony.

Corey  1:06:08

Yeah, yes. And so I mean, that goes right back to the off the water portion, were trying to live a little bit more of my life in a state of harmony, so that that's closer to my baseline in the way that I approach all of the tasks of daily living, training, the competitions, and it's not like, Oh, I'm gonna draw, circle a bubble around the competition and be like, when I get there, then I got to make sure everything is in alignment and try to create some harmony out of these general feelings of chaos that I've been having. I want it to be like, okay, you know, yeah, I can't control everything. Everything's not going to be at this state of homeostasis and perfection all the time. Like, let's just be frank about that. And focus on what is the task at hand, if it's doing a podcast, like, let's be here and do this well, and then whatever's going to happen next, let's do that. Well, it's still a challenge. I'm very grateful. We did that that breathing exercise before the podcast, because I felt like I was raising to get here and get the microphone set up and be ready at 930. So that I was not holding you up and things like that. And so my heart rate was up. And I was already, you know, simmering. And so being able to kind of bring that back down and remembering that, gosh, we all have the power to do that in basically a minute's time. And I know that and so often, I just failed to use that tool, you know, to kind of reset, you know, find that one minute that's going to make the next hour so much better. It's, it's right there in the tool belt, and yet it stays holstered. Yeah,

Lynn  1:07:44

it's funny because, you know, my one of my biggest insights, as I've been on this journey, that parallels was skiing, but to get back on the horse, and it's definitely improved my skiing, but it's under pressure, I can either reach for my rules, or I can reach for my tools. And remembering like one of the essential tools is being able to breathe. And I was gifted with so many things at birth, but my rules are sort of like, well, I've got to do this, this and this to get to the dock. And if I don't put my boot on before I put my gloves on, then I'm out of order. And that's not good, as opposed to, you know, take a breath and like I've gotten into playing pickleball Have you discovered pickleball yet,

Corey  1:08:24

it's I've only I'm certainly aware of it, because it's a craze, I've only gotten to play just a backyard game one time, which was a blast, but I love tennis and I love ping pong. So yeah,

Lynn  1:08:35

you're gonna love it. If you ever get I hope you don't get addicted. I mean, I've kind of gotten myself hurt, I fell down last year kind of pulled. It wasn't a hamstring we later learned but really affected me for about nine months in my hamstring area, didn't tear it, but I did something to it. And but But what I've learned is like, it's a game of patience, but it's very quick at the same time. And when I'm out there, I've learned to just do a couple of things to slow me down, you know, and it's amazing how much better I play. When I just keep remembering all I have to do is watch the ball to the racket. And something good is gonna happen. Like, I'll hit the ball in a good way, if I'll just remember to do that and not get one second ahead of myself and think about what I want to have happen next. So that basic tool of sort of patients you know, and I hear this a lot in skiing. I mean, I'm sure you say to people be patient, even though things are happening fast.

Corey  1:09:36

Yeah, it's so easy to get one step ahead of yourself, I I tend to not use the terminology be patient because it's just a little too close to being passive. And there's really in my mind, no points out there in the 16 or 18 or 20 seconds of what we're doing to be passive. So I try to give a directive of here's what I want you to do at this phase. It may ABB, it may not be rapid and twitchy and abrupt. And I think that's what we're trying to avoid when people are getting reactionary and getting one step ahead of themselves, they want the next thing to be happening now. And so they're kind of forcing it, and they're upping the tempo. But I, I equate it more to something musical like, Hey, you're, you're playing along with a band and a rhythm and a tempo, there's a time signature that's, that's going on here. And you really need to stay in time one, you need to start out, you kind of need like, what that drummer will do like the 12123, and start out with the right tempo, so that you can maintain that and everyone knows, the boat, and the driver, and the cruise control and the skier are all working together, and there's some harmony. But then when you're, say making a turn, where is the place people tend to rush the most, they want to get out of that turn and get going and just be on the other side. It's like, well, all of a sudden, you are playing just a nice, you know, steady, not not a melody, that's too light, but you're playing a nice little jazz number. And all of a sudden, you just busted out a power chord like you went from you went from, you know, James Taylor or something like that to to Metallica, like, where did that come from, you know that that was not the right place for that. So that's the kind of way I think of it, I keep playing in tune, you're there's still something to do here, you're still strumming, but you're not trying to you're not slamming the bass drum, you're not slamming, you know, power chords on your guitar, you're just continuing to play the next note in time.

Lynn  1:11:40

So that concept that you just described, is amazing. Because if you think about it, you're right, we do things that are out of harmony with the boat, with the speed of our ski with where we are, wherever we are. And it is like that. And the concept that one of the things I've been playing with is the idea to be the conduit of whatever I'm doing, which means it's almost like improvisation. You know, jazz is improvisation, right? But also just improvisation with people where we like we get to put our part in, but we're also having to put our part in with a yes. And not a yes, but and we're working with what's happening around us. And I think that's one of the best descriptions I've ever heard about how to stay with what you're doing on the waterski. That's very cool.

Corey  1:12:27

Yep, playing music or dancing. It's the same, same idea, you know, there's no, starting to dance faster is not the point. Every if you're doing a fast dance, great, but you're keeping time with the fast dance. Doing it faster than the music goes doesn't make you a better dancer, that just doesn't look right. Right.

Lynn  1:12:44

And it's twitchy. And I see I do see that a lot. I get to sit and watch ski school all day long, you know, up at the Pavilion at Mystic water switch, you've spent a lot of many hours many fun hours there. And I watch a lot of skiing. And I can almost tell you when somebody's going to fall because I can see that they're twitchy. You know, they're they're rushing there. You know, and I this time of year, you know, we've only been going about a week, I don't know, how long have you been going? We've been going maybe a week

Corey  1:13:12

we started on March 30. So yeah, we're like three weeks. Okay,

Lynn  1:13:15

we started more like, I think it was April 15. So we're couple of weeks or weekend. And but I can I'm seeing a lot of Baldwin falls because, you know, people come back in and they haven't skied in a long time. And it's pretty chilly, we're in the mountains, everything's actually a little different than at the end of the season. So or when they went to Florida.

Corey  1:13:37

Yeah, and for me, because I've put a lot of time into it's, I'd say, skiing is the thing that I know how to do best. You know, it's that's my strong suit, where I get twitchy is in life, you know, from one thing to the next, and always jumping one square ahead of myself. And so I'm trying to pull that lesson out of skiing, and back into life, where I'm not racing to the next thing. I'm halfway through one thing and I'm already thinking about the next item on the to do list and scrambling to the finish of what I am doing just for the sake of starting the next thing which I'm going to do a half assed job up because I'm worried about the next thing. Yeah, that's where I need the most improvement. And I know I get twitchy. I see it even in my, my movement patterns. I'm Yeah, jerking around the kitchen, trying to unload the dishwasher, stepping on myself dropping cups on the floor, and wait a minute, what are you? What are you doing?

Lynn  1:14:31

I actually talked about my vitamin bottles on a podcast a couple of years ago, because I would be like rushing and I'm like, you know, take the vitamin bottle lid off and then just jam it back on or whatever. And what I what I started to do was a practice of you know, you talked earlier about small steps. And what I realized is if I will just every step, allow for a little endorphin kick. I can slow things down. but not go slower. In other words, I don't have to go back and put the lids back on or I don't have to pick up the mess that I just dropped or there, you know, because I do that I used to do the dishes the same way. So I've started taking to unloading my car, unloading the dishwasher, doing those little details around as an opportunity to get my endorphin kicks, step by step, and it has it fundamentally changed the way I move through life. Yeah, when I remember to do it, not all the time. The

Corey  1:15:28

thing that I've changed most recently that I can say, has really helped and we're about to lose half your audience here. They're just going to shut the podcast down right after I say this, oh, boy, is that I, I quit coffee. And it's a temporary thing. So don't everyone get too angry? Um, it's an experiment. I don't plan on abstaining, maybe the rest of my life, because coffee is delicious and wonderful. And it maybe it has its place. But for me, I tend to have that addictive nature. And, you know, telling myself, oh, you know, especially with a toddler, you deserve it, you need a little extra boost in the morning. The problem is, it didn't really stop with the first cup that kind of got me go in. It's like Ben brings up that that heart rate and read some of those feelings of well being and the energy to go get things done. And I kind of okay, I'm spurred on, I'm ready to go. Give me that second cup. And let me keep up here. And that's going to help me even more, well, that, that turned out I think to be a little subversive, as I allowed myself to become too dependent on the coffee, because, yes, I kind of get this jolt of energy. But what I've noticed was, it really drove my baseline levels of anxiety up. And my ability to formulate a longer to do list was fantastic. I could look in any direction around me and see oh, that needs to be done that needs to be done that needs to be done. And I just have the internal compulsion that I need to do it all right now, there's just like, not even very consciously, just like these things have to happen. And I've got to do and right now there, and then trying to prioritize what actually needs to happen today, or this moment, or this this week, or this month, it was so out the window, because I was kind of so overly charged, that I would just start tackling things somewhat at random. And then I get to the end of the day. And one of the things that I you know, I probably needed to accomplish in the day, I hadn't even touched at all because I got myself sidetracked down all these various rabbit holes, by just not seeing the picture clearly. And also, as I would start going about these things, I had this racing approach where I would get halfway through a task. And I'm feeling that hours of the day go by and I'm thinking oh my gosh, I want to get all these other things done that I've thought about. So then I want to just hurry through it, get to the next. And so I have found that in the time that I've backed off of the coffee, it's been a lot easier to put the priorities in their place have a little greater sense of clarity on that not get so overwhelmed by all of the things all at once and see one task through to completion. Okay, did that correctly? Good. That was actually the bigger priority that feels good to have done a couple of endorphins from that. Great. Now let's start tackling the next thing. I didn't want that to be the answer to the scientific experiment on coffee, I wanted to be able to say, no coffee is great. And I should have as much of it as I can have without feeling. You know, like my heart is going to explode. But unfortunately, I'm going to fortunately, or unfortunately, I'm going to continue the experiment for a while because, you know, I was talking this out with my sports psychologist and he kind of just held the mirror up to me. And he's like, Well, it sounds to me that what you're saying is, you feel like you're at your best when you're not overly caffeinated. And you've got this list of competitions and goals coming right up where we need you to be at your best. And when you kind of put it to me that clearly I was like, well, there's really no getting around that with logic. I I guess I just need to circle the date on the calendar and say, Okay, this date, we're going to quit and you know, stay committed to that and and attempt to be at my best.

Lynn  1:19:28

Yeah. Well tell me now. I think that's a great opening to go back to something we bookmarked earlier to talk about what are your goals for the season? Because it's early? You know, we're in the kind of late April timeframe. Masters is coming up, but tell me about what you've got kind of laid out as goals for the seasons. We've talked a lot about your process, but I'd love to hear about what you want to achieve.

Corey  1:19:51

Yeah, well yeah, so it's been all process so far and the rubber is about to meet the road. So I'm going to be picking up and leaving home here on May 5 First, and driving down to Florida and a motor home. And I'm going to be there for us yet undetermined amount of time. So there's the Swiss pro slalom tournament on May 5, I'll be competing in that one that that'll be the first pro tournament in the United States of the season, we did go to Moomba this year. So that got it started. But then it kind of goes, I went back into a law a bit of winter. And then spring training. Now it's kind of ramping back up. So you know, like to go down there and start off the season with solid footing, you know, with a good performance. But actually, although that one will be a cash prize tournament, it'll be webcast. It's actually not my biggest priority on this trip. For the first time ever, I'm going to throw my name in the hat for the Masters qualifier tournaments. I've never done one before, always because it's, it's a tricky time of year, it's hard to pull up and leave ski school in May, when things are really just firing up up here and more people are coming out. And it's still, I'd say, generally early season for Virginia skier. Yeah, and all the best skiers in the world are going to be they're trying to perform at their best to get into the most prestigious tournament, I've always felt like, I'm kind of going to fight with one hand tied behind my back, because I'm just getting going. But also, that's bad mentality is a choice. I mean, I that's the way I've chosen to frame that in my mind. Like I said, there's some reason it's hard to walk, go away from my family, it's hard to walk away from my ski school, it's not practical in the slightest. But also, I'm not getting any younger, and going and skiing at the Masters is one of my one of the goals that I have. And it's not going to happen unless I go and compete in the tournaments that qualify me. So I'll ski the Swiss Pro on May 5, and then just the four days later on May 9 is the first qualifier tournament for the Masters. So the Swiss will almost be like a warm up, or get a day of practice in between to try to get prepared. And then best case scenario is I perform well in that first qualifier tournament, punch my ticket. And my wife is and my son are planning to fly down for that qualifier, and then stay through the weekend and just ski a record tournament, for the fun of it, and just for some more practice, and then hopefully, hopefully come back home and get to be you know, with my family and with my ski school for a while more before Memorial Day weekend was how to golf the masters. if plan A doesn't come to pass, then I'll have to hold out for another week, down there for the next qualifier tournament, the next and last qualifier tournament, and then plan B will be the qualify in that one. And then if I do, the tricky part is there's there's just over a week left before the Masters actually starts. So driving back to Virginia to be home for basically two days to then turn around and drive back to Georgia kind of doesn't make a whole lot of sense, in which case, I'm likely to just stay in Florida, continue training, try to make the most of my opportunity to ski in the Masters. And, but that's going to mean being away from home from May 1 through Memorial Day weekend, which is not ideal. And then of course the most not ideal scenario is not qualifying for the Masters, I'll get to come home and be with my family and my ski school. But, you know, I'm so very grateful that everybody here is supporting me and wanting me to go off and and you know, get this achieve this goal. And kind of add this to my my bucket list things that I'd like to do in my career. So that's a big one. Skiing at the Masters. I mean, of course if that happens, I'd like to ski Well, yeah, you know, so I'll be focused on the training. And then Gosh, and then we land into June and, and ski season really is underway. And I'll get to be home for the month of June. Primarily we host an event here, which is just a fun tournament on June 8, and a C Class tournament on June 9. But we're really trying to make it something special that families all want to come out to and skiers and non skiers alike have a great time at and go home and tell their friends to come with them next year spectators from this area. We want them to come in and show them a great time for the day. So that's a bit of a lift. And then it'll be you know, training through the month of June. Then there will be a couple of tournaments in Europe in July that I plan to do that. I mean, the big goal with on the pro tour is to take a pro tour when you know I've had some seconds I've had some thirds. I've had lots of fifths and six and you know, like last year I'd say it was probably my best year competing And you know, I did a good job making all of the finals, which felt great. I mean, now it's gotten pretty brutal just to do that much. But, you know, now I want to take the next step, I'm basically working on a three year plan, I came up with some, I'm one year in, I came up with this, you know, a little over a year ago, because basically, this juggling act with the family and the business and the pro skiing, it's just the kind of thing that, you know, I can't imagine doing 4567 years. One, because I'm 38. And every year is a little bit harder to be as strong and as fit and as focused as, as I'd like to be. So by kind of putting a sunset to the whole thing and saying, look, let's max this out, if I'm gonna do this, let's max it out and make these three years count. And let's really try to be smart and do all of the things that are going to let's come up with a clear objective, what are the goals? And then what is the process to achieving those goals and leave nothing on the table. So that's where I'm at. I felt like last year, I was pretty happy with taking the first step, I really did feel that the moves and changes that I made, paid a dividend. In terms of better performances, and ideas to do a little better each year, I think, part of my motivation. In this three year plan, I just finished the book atomic habits, which

Lynn  1:26:36

actually here, I actually literally was cleaning my office this morning and moved it over to the red pile, because it's just it's such a good book. Yeah,

Corey  1:26:44

so there's this concept in there about, you know, kind of slow growth, just 1% improvements every day, which is a small stepping stones, it sounds attainable, how can I be just 1% better than yesterday, and you kind of use the financial analogy, it's like, Hey, if you're over time, if you're putting some money away with 1% interest, it doesn't look like anything's happening for a very long time. But if you're diligent about it, you even 1% You start to reach a point of compounding. And, you know, he used some clever examples that that spoke to me. So I thought, okay, for three years, what would it look like, it just tried to make a 1% improvement on a daily basis. And that's a bit of the backbone of my plan. And, you know, it kind of covers all walks of lifestyle, and they're trying to get 1% on on various metrics across the board. And so, you know, I feel like I'm writing some some good tailwind off of last year, I've got, you know, some added confidence that my plans are working. And I want to see those through a bit further. So I feel like staying the course. And, you know, striving for that pro win, that's a big thing. I'd like to I'd like to run 41 off in a record tournament again, ideally, more than once. It's been a little while, but I riding a ski that I really like, and I'm training smarter on the water off the water than I have before. I feel like overall, I'm skiing better than I am right now for April, no question. This is the best April that I've ever had. So I do feel like I'm going down for this month of May. Although we're up here wearing wetsuits, and it's windy, and it's cold and it's harsh. I know that I'm squeezing all the juice out of myself that I've got. And I've got to just trust that going down to Florida, when the waters at it's going to feel a little bit easier. You know, it's all gonna get a little bit better and that you're bringing the strategy play my game, I think that's what I was guilty of before, like, oh, you know, there's Floridians there ski and down there with the right boat with the, you know, more opportunity to train and more and water and all that stuff. And I'm kind of talking myself out of my potential versus like, hey, yeah, okay. That's, I'm not playing that game. That's just not reality. So what what can I do that gives me every opportunity to do what I believe that I can do. And let's just focus on that. So that's, that's where my mind is at this stage of the process. And then we have a good long summer, lots of events, there opportunities that are there, make the rounds to you know, a bit in Europe, not all of them, but the ones that I can. And then certainly I think all the competitions in the United States. And, you know, I trust my process better rather than putting the bubble around the tournament and thinking okay, when it closes in here, now everything's gonna be perfect and The magic is gonna just happen, you know, hopefully out of the out of the ether, it's more No, put in the work behind the scenes that that nobody is seeing that nobody has to see. And then just stay true to that and trust that, if it's gonna happen, that's how it's gonna happen.

Lynn  1:30:18

Yeah. Well, there's, I want to call out two things I heard that I think, are really, really good for, for what you're saying is one is that you're playing your own game. Like you're doing the game the best way, you know how, and something that's been a theme throughout the conversation, which is, you're also not being so super hard on yourself or beating yourself up when you're not doing what you want to do. Because I've actually found that that is what takes away your 1%. In other words, I can make a 1% improvement. And then I go, Well, gosh, 1% is nothing. So you just gave it back. As opposed to 1% is mine. Now I can compound on that. And yes, just that mindset shift can make a world of difference.

Corey  1:31:07

Absolutely. And I, I feel like we hopefully we all gained some wisdom with age. But I feel like the one thing that has come up for me is that I used to, you know, maybe feel that I had made a 1% improvement or a 2% improvement even at some points. But then I would subvert myself by instead of taking that and trying to build upon that, you know, I would I be like, Oh, okay, cool. I've got this thing going good for me over here. So now I can slack off on something over here. Because Don't I deserve it. You know, I've worked hard, and that gave me this edge. So I deserve a little, you know, whatever it was for me, in my case, I think it actually used to primarily be alcohol. Another thing that I've quit, and that one I'll never go back to. But you know, I used to kind of Oh, cool, like I've leveled up over here. That feels good. Now I'm gonna celebrate, you know, by giving myself a treat? Well, if I went out 1%, I probably just took away two. What a stupid trap that was.

Lynn  1:32:12

You know, it's funny because I quit alcohol and temporarily in 2012, because I was doing a workshop where we needed to have our senses really tuned in. And the workshop leader just said for 90 days before this, you can't have any alcohol. And I was like the summer and I was like, That's crazy. That's what we have our wine dinners and blah, blah, blah. Well, I've discovered when I came back from that workshop and drank just a glass of wine. The fog came over me like, it was like the Claritin commercial, you know, where they show that you think you can see, and then they show what clear really looks like. And I quit drinking that. At that moment. I was like, Oh, I didn't realize I was living in a fog. I don't like this fog. And so I just quit drinking. So what what made you decide you were going to quit alcohol?

Corey  1:33:03

Well, I would say that. Fundamentally, it goes back to that notion about just being more honest with myself. There's probably a number of factors that all work together to lead up to the ultimate decision I was, I kind of had this idea of a three year plan in my mind based on, you know, largely growing out of atomic habits. I knew that my relationship with alcohol wasn't perfectly healthy. In fact, I had given it up for a year two different times, both with the concept of proving to myself that I could have it under control, and that when I came to the end of that year, I would have learned, you know, moderation really is the key. And those, those times where a nice glass of red wine with a special dinner just really makes it transcendent. I'll really hold out for those or if after a nice day on the lake with my friends, we want to crack a beer and have a good conversation or sit around the fire and sip a drink. You know, it's just so it'd be so worth it. And it'd be relegated to those times. And that's what I was aiming for. Well, that's not what happened. And far from it. I was just totally king of the slippery slope. And I would slide right back into old patterns of behavior. And when I'm honest about it, and I just look at my family history and genetics. We have alcoholism in the family tree from both sides. Probably predisposed. I have that. I also listened to a Huberman lab episode on alcohol and that really helped frame what is alcohol use disorder. What is alcoholism? These are great terms. I mean, he doesn't make a you know, a direct like this is definitely this because there's there's gray area, but I listened to and respect a lot of the other things that he say says and so when he was framing up this conversation on alcohol, I realized well, he says basically if you're having to drinks a week, that's probably nothing to worry about. And it's not going to really affect your long term health, your short term health, you know, you're probably fine. But if it's more than that, you're starting to get some physiological effects that over time will compound in the negative direction. And if it's more than, it's substantially more than that, which is what I was doing. And if you have the makeup wear, once you have a drink or two, you really just can't stop or won't stop until you go to bed, which is 100%. Me, then you might really want to think about making a course correction. And so that kind of helped, but put it right in front of my face. And I was like, well, that he's speaking my language, that is me. And when I'm honest about it, I have not been able to find that middle ground where it's okay. And, you know, I don't allow it to have more control over me than I have over it. And I have these lofty goals that it's in no way going to help with and I don't seem to be able to moderate it. So it just needs to go. So my actual initial commitment was per 1000 days, like my three year plan is actually It's 1000 day plan. And, you know, basically culminating with the next world championships, and kind of having a soft retirement at that point. But as I approached it this time, and, and entered sobriety and, and got a little further away from it, a lot of the things that I thought were going to be hard with social situations or, you know, just patterns of behavior that I typically would involve a drink for me. Somehow, this time that those were not hard, I didn't feel like I was missing something, I felt what I was gaining by waking up with more energy and being able to pay more attention to playing with my son, and actually engaging with the people around me, whether it's a family gathering, or friends, having more meaningful conversations, not just trying to get my chemical fix and adjacently talking to people. That was so much more valuable, I realized, you know, what, there's, there's really no going back from this because I see it, but then when I look at the long term picture, I see people that have the tendency is like I do, what does that look like? You know, I think when you're your 20s, you can get away with it, you're young, your system is strong, you're kind of bounce back, maybe you can carry that through your 30s A bit more. But I think as those decades roll past the 40s, to the 50s, to the 60s. And that the compounding effect of playing hard in that way to staying up late and not getting sleep, the poor quality of sleep, the knock on effects of those things are none of those things I want to have, you know, so when I look at that with the awareness and the reality of what they are, it's within my control to take, you know, the one road or the other. And I just don't, I don't think I unfortunately, and this one, I can't take the middle path, it's just not an option for me with my makeup. And I need to be honest about that. And so I'm pretty committed now. I mean, look, I mean, you're into it, be very aware that people fall off the wagon, and that can happen. So I'm not, I'm not out to say that, you know, it's all solved, and it's all good, or whatever. But in my mind, this, to me is a new normal and a new lifestyle. And I have no intentions of of ever going back to something that I think is just not going to lead me to where I ultimately want to be in my life. Well,

Lynn  1:38:42

you know, what I really like what you just described is it, it is a withdrawal on your energetic system. And you were talking about like, you know, the gains of the 1% and then taking it away somewhere else, you know, I'm gonna gain over here, and then we take it away over there. But when you look at it as it's just a net withdrawal on the quality of life, it helps you rebalance.

Corey  1:39:06

Yeah. And so I guess the other thing that in atomic habits, this concept was very powerful to me. He says that the payoff for your negative habits is in the present, like if you smoke a cigarette, you feel great right now the nicotine rush makes you feel better. You have a drink. You feel really good right now. It's

Lynn  1:39:27

an ex smoker. I remember it was like man, I can solve this niggling feeling in an instant one puff of a cigarette. Yeah, it feels really good.

Corey  1:39:35

But the the the downside to your negative habits is in the future, you know, and so you don't it doesn't catch up to you until you know down the road all that compounding can turn into a serious problem. He said whereas it's the opposite for your good habits. In the short term. It's the pain point showing up at the gym. You know, which is a good habit. It can suck right now you sweat and you're straight. meaning and your, your physical system is being taxed and you know, you maybe you just don't want to be there, it'll be easier to sit down on the couch and open a soda and have some chips. That's that's definitely a lot easier right now, but the reward is in the future. And when I tried to use that model to think about a variety of things, alcohol being one of them, I was like, Well, you know, that's just a clear cut example for me, like, you know, I was made even given myself to pass it, like, I'm just kind of using it for my mental health. It's like, oh, if I buy open, if I have a drink, I can finally kind of put down the stress of the day, I have all these things that I'm trying to balance, I can just let it go for a little while and not worry about it. And that was true. But that's not to say that there aren't other ways of doing that, that are probably healthier, and I was ignoring. Well, I'm waking up with less energy, because I have had poor quality of sleep, and my physical system is trying to recover from what I did to it. And that creates a cycle of, well, now I'm more tired, I feel more overwhelmed. I have less energy to take on the tasks of the day. And I have more incentive to want to make those bad feelings go away by returning to what for me, it was a bad habit. So I was like, okay, like, how to break the cycle? Yeah.

Lynn  1:41:18

Well, you know, there's a quote, I think I heard this on the Tim Ferriss podcast, hard choices, easy life, easy choices, hard life. Yeah. You know, that's, that just kind of sums up what you just said, which is, you know, we do have to make those choices and get that compounding going in favor of our future rather than drawing off of our future. Because we're, the future gets here a lot faster than we expect it to. Yeah,

Corey  1:41:46

I'm learning that with having a little one in the house to Oh,

Lynn  1:41:49

I bet you are, you know, there's the Kenny Chesney song called Don't blink. And I would say you probably feel like he was just here, what? Yesterday, and here he is almost three years old. Now.

Corey  1:42:02

It's a wild time, where if I'm definitely taking heat from all the parents that have come before me, and they're telling me this idea of don't blink, and just really trying to soak up these moments, you know, be right there. Be involved, be present with it just so that I don't end up with that feeling somewhere down the road of like, what happened? Like, yeah, where? Where was that? You know, so, so far, I feel very fortunate that, like, I don't feel that I missed anything. Like I saw it all happen, and it happens fast. They grow. You know, he's saying new things every week. And, you know, it's like, he understands like concepts now, you know, time and he's like, wow, you know, you just said something complex. That's new.

Lynn  1:42:47

It's amazing, isn't it? I mean, gosh, I could have a whole podcast just on parenting, I'm sure. Oh, gosh, yeah, yeah. Well, we've kind of come full circle, because we started the conversation, talking about being honest with yourself. And you ended in a way, or come to this point, talking again, about being honest about choices and consequences, and so forth. And I know there are gonna be a lot of people listening to this, who are skiers who are trying to take their game up, maybe not skiers, people who are just trying to be better at something, and, you know, you've made a profession out of teaching people to be better at their game. So what would you offer my audience, our audience to, you know, to, to say, or to, to do or to, you know, include in their mindset to help them be better at their game?

Corey  1:43:46

Well, I think it really helps to know, your why like to know your purpose, why is it that you're engaged in that particular thing you are, or you have the ambitions that you do with them? Because, I mean, it's great to think about having this good strategy that brings you you know, from one stage to the next, the next and this hopeful path of progress, but there are certainly going to be many days where you just have to push through, you know, you do have to grind. I mean, I'm, I'll be the first one to admit, I mean, I'm, I feel like I get proud of my grind. Sometimes it's, it's there, and you got to do things that you don't want to do, I'd say very regularly. So tip for force yourself into that or to make yourself show up. You've got to have that reminder of why is it that I want to get to where these goals are, why is it that I'm doing this endeavor in the first place because you're going to hit burnout if you get if you're doing something that's going to be years, decades in the making, which if you're going to high level at anything, it's going to be years and decades. It can grow stale. You're going to repeat the process, you're going to go forward, then you're going to go back then you're going to be on the plateau. And you're going to be feeling like you're trying all kinds of things looking for that breakthrough. And I think it's, it's very easy and we all see it. I mean, very promising talented people end up exiting, finding the exit door before they ever reached their fullest potential. And so I mean, for me, it's that idea of, of what is the ultimate potential for me like this started that and waterskiing, for me was a family sport, like I started out, you know, we were just hobbyists, we were No, nothing's we just did it, because we loved it. My mom, my granddad, my grandma, my aunts and uncles, all my cousins, everybody, my family, you know, water skis to some extent or the other. And it was just something that we love to do together, as well as tubing and wakeboarding and writing every other thing that we could figure out how to ride. So I have a lot, when I get into that place, and I'm feeling a little bit burnt out, I try to connect back to this big reserve of nostalgia that I have, you know, of, I love this, I love doing this. And now I get to do it with my wife, and maybe in time, I get to do it with my son. And it's given me the sport has given me so much in terms of learning and life lessons. And, and I tried to reciprocate that by being very involved in with the ski school with working with others, that's also been very rewarding. But so when, when I'm struggling to find the motivation, when I'm feeling like I'm close to the end of my rope, I tried to go into that vault of nostalgia that's like, you know, this, this is something that has provided me so much joy, how is it that at the moment, I can't be finding that joy, Let's reconnect with some of that. And then, you know, that's kind of the looking backwards in the past. And then looking forwards. I feel very fortunate that at this stage of the game, I do feel like I'm still improving. And I know that that won't go on forever. At some point, everyone hits their maximum, and I'm 38 years old, that's kind of why I made a three year plan that, you know, after 40, I'm not saying that I couldn't get better. But the amount of work and effort that would be required, to me is just something that won't balance with my life. And I'm not willing to, to do that it would start to become too selfish. To to continue on that path. So for now, what can I take in my I'm just curious, I'm deeply curious. Where is that potential? Where's that edge? And then it's like, well, now I don't want to leave anything on the table? Because if I do, I'll never know. And I can't live with that. You know, I'll have many, many more years of my life after 40 of being able to reflect and say, here's what it was. And I don't want to be haunted by that. Well, what if, you know, what if I just shown up a little bit better? What if I had just been a little wiser and taken that hard look, and tried to learn from my mistakes and tried to grow from what I saw as a challenge. And so, you know, I'm certainly not doing a perfect job at it. But that's, that's my touchstone of motivation when I need to find out, you know, find that next gear to keep on going and to bring the joy back in and pull things back into alignment and harmony. I'm looking to the past for the nostalgia and recapturing that joy that's been such a big part of the path, and then looking to the future to say, Gosh, all that joy brought brought me to this precipice where I feel like I can see the summit, you know, it's like climbing the mountain, I can see it, it's right up there. You know, I'm as close as I can be. But, man, I want to get that view from the top and I you know, it's not life and death, but I feel like if it were, I'm kind of at that point where like, I'm willing to take the risk as long as it's a reasonably calculated risk, like I'll put my life on the line to get a look there and then come back down and then go to base camp and then yeah, well then soak it up and enjoy it and say I did that one. And I can enjoy it enjoy some mountain climbing in a much more recreational way. But right now, I want to I want to see the top from Everest and and I'll be damned. Nothing's gonna stop me.

Lynn  1:49:40

Wow. Yeah, I'm really glad you answered the question because I realized I wanted to know what your why was. And I think I'd really love that you say you're deeply, deeply curious to find that edge? Because I feel like curiosity is a super tool for all of us. If we can tap in our curiosity we can handle almost anything

Corey  1:50:01

100% And I need to, I need to always be reminding myself of that, that's where I come to that come to that impasse, get a little bit bound up feeling a little bit of a plateau. And I'm trying to make it my practice to then have that reflection and have that, you know, that forward gaze to be like, okay, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be worth it. You know, I posted some quotes on my dock this year, and I don't remember who this one's by. But it's, it's something like, no one who ever gave their best ever regretted it. And so it's like, well, that's right. You know, if if some of these goals that I have, if they don't come to fruition, I don't manage to to stand on the top of the podium at a pro event, I don't manage to get on the podium at the World Championships, I don't manage to ski in the Masters, I feel like I can still walk away with a great sense of satisfaction that I got my eyes pick on the damn Summit. And it was not in my control, the storm came or I slipped a little bit, and I got back down with my life. And it's like, well, you know what, I still had a great view. But I'll be damned, I'm gonna try.

Lynn  1:51:11

Well, and that makes me just want to root for you all the more. I mean, I am going to be so behind you this season as you go through all of this. In fact, I'm going to be down in Florida, the weekend of the Swiss Pro, so I may come find you. Oh, good. Yeah, please do. Yeah, I'm not going to be there for the day of the tournament. But I'll be there. Before that. So I know I'm going to be rooting for you. And I know a lot of people listening to this will be as well. Plus, people are going to want to know how to come ski with you. And get some of that wisdom on the dot that you can, you know, so readily offer. So tell people a little bit about how to find you, you also have a pretty cool blog and a pro shop at a website. So give everybody how to find those things.

Corey  1:51:52

Yeah, I think most of my information can be found on my website. That's peace, love, and waterskiing.com just all spelled out, like it sounds. My my emails on my phone numbers on there, the locations on here, you can book skiing right through there. I'm happy for people to reach out. I think my social contacts are on there. Maybe. I'm Corey Vaughn, on Facebook and at peace, love and waterskiing on Instagram. And,

Lynn  1:52:22

you know, I will have all this in the show notes.

Corey  1:52:24

I appreciate what you said, Lynn about, you know, being there and my back for the season. Somehow, for me, it's always been a part of this process is that, like, I want to, I want to go there, I want to make this journey. But to do that, like I always feel like I need that the people on my side, even the emotional support. It's important to me that like I want to get up there and I want to see something and I want to bring something back down for everybody else I want to share that it's not it is somewhat a selfish pursuit that I want to I want to do this to see for myself what it can be. But I want I do want it to be a community thing. I want to bring everybody along for this ride. And, and so I appreciate that. So anybody that wants to, you know, follow it along on Instagram or come out to the ski school and take some lessons. I would certainly love that to me

Lynn  1:53:17

would be awesome. I've had many lessons with you. You've skied? We ski together at Mystic waters. I have a specific memory of you skiing on a trick ski through the course. I think you called it.

Corey  1:53:28

Slippery slalom.

Lynn  1:53:29

Yeah, the phrase slalom. Yeah. So yeah, I would love to, hopefully see you in Florida. And I know everybody listening is gonna want to follow along and wish you the best. And I I'm so grateful that we were able to do this, we'll have to do another we're gonna have to be a third time podcast guest at the end of the season, we're gonna review this come hell or high water. Right?

Corey  1:53:50

I'd be happy to I mean, you always open your intro with the fact that you were having all these great conversations and you wanted to share them. And I feel like we were having those privately. And so it's just an honor to to get to have another one like this.

Lynn  1:54:03

Yeah, we weren't having those. This is literally the reason I do the podcast it has. It's totally to scratch my itch. But I'm so grateful that you did it. And for those of you listening, if you enjoyed this conversation, please share it with your friends. You can subscribe also to my newsletter called the coaching digest at Lynn carens.com. And we will see you on the next podcast. Thank you for listening to the creative spirits unleashed podcast. I started this podcast because I was having these great conversations and I wanted to share them with others. I'm always learning in these conversations and I wanted to share that kind of learning with you. Now what I need to hear from you is what you want more of and what you want less of. I really want these podcasts to be a value for the listeners. Also, if you happen to know someone who you think might love them, please share the podcast and of course subscribe and rate it on the difference The apps that you're using because that's how others will find it now I hope you go and do something very fun today