Designing Your Legacy: Insights from Angelina Carleton

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Hello, welcome everybody to
another episode of Arthur's

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roundtables.
Super happy to have everybody

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here today and just a big thank
you to the audience and how you

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continue to participate and view
our little Arthur's Roundtable

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episodes.
Really appreciate you

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participating and I hope to
continue to provide interesting

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information and it's been a lot
of fun for for me as well.

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So super appreciate it.
Angelina's here with us today

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really happy because it's family
office, family office adjacent

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type information.
And it's a it's a good story and

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and some interesting outcomes
and I think you'll find it

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informative.
And so I hope you enjoy it.

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So with that, Angela, thanks for
doing this.

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Angelina, thank you for doing
this.

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My pleasure to be here, thank
you for having me.

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You're you're very welcome.
My pleasure.

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So let's start with the
beginning of your journey and

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take it from there.
Is that all right?

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That sounds great.
I think in terms of an ice

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breaker just for the listening
audience, I was born in Texas to

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a family.
My father was an Air Force

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intelligence officer.
So I did have the opportunity to

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move 10 times around the world
to experience the Middle East

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and Europe, etcetera.
And then we did end up back in

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the United States.
I graduated from Penn State

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University in the year 2000, and
I started to work in real

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estate.
And the origin story of, yes,

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Nittany Lions.
Yes, yes.

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Go Big Blue.
Yeah.

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And, and so I graduated in the
year 2000 and I started to work

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in real estate.
And I did have a mentor.

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And so kudos to anyone that
decides to mentor any young mind

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out there because that is an
invaluable opportunity to shadow

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someone in the business world.
And I ended up working in

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commercial real estate.
I received my license back in

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the year, I think it was late
2007 or maybe it was 2008.

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And I think I, I did well
obviously in commercial real

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estate because I was able to
take a year off in 2014 and to

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go back to school with a Co
active training institute.

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But the origin story was
twofold.

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And one was the, the deeper
reason.

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But I'll just cover the surface
reason here, which was I had

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clients that weren't
multimillionaires, which is

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common in commercial real
estate, and they'd have a

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portfolio of properties.
And yet number one, they didn't

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think about their legacy.
But #2 oftentimes I would notice

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that we would go out to the bar
and of course, I had my husband

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with me.
And it could be because they

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were visiting or staying at a
hotel or, or whatever the

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scenario was.
And oftentimes the stress levels

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of them drinking Kahlua at the
bar and yet being on 7 or 8

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different medications.
And I know that that's like

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there's the front side of of
business, but then there's also

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the, the backside.
So I thought to myself, well,

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who was thinking about their
legacy?

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And I know some individuals are
just going to chase the deal.

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And those individuals may have
what I call it an inciting event

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where they might change in terms
of their awareness.

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Some individuals might chase the
deal the rest of their lives,

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but there are others that I
think since COVID particularly,

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are starting to think about
other aspects of their life in

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terms of their ripple effect.
I know that we live in a

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culture, I call it like the
Madison Ave. and culture where

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we're always going to be
immortal forever.

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You know, it's the the shiny
cars and the thing.

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I mean the shiny yachts.
I mean, we're always going to

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live forever until there's a
moment where we realize that we

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might not.
And so I think too, when

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somebody can get their personal
affairs in order.

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And I just don't mean legal
documents and financial

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documents because sure, there is
the financial capital piece,

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there is the money piece, but
it's so much more.

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It's so much deeper when
somebody finally sits down to

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design and plan their legacy.
So COVID let a lot of people sit

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and think for a while rather
than having to get up and do the

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same thing over and over and
again every day, right?

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Well, I think COVID did a couple
of things.

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I think people woke up because
they were either trapped in

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their homes, particular in the
United States and in certain

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states, Florida was different
than California, etcetera,

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depended on where somebody
domiciled.

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But I think also it.
So I think for some people it

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felt like Groundhog Day, but I
think also what ended up

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happening is if somebody lost
someone around them, it was like

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a wake up call.
And so that was also when I

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started my podcast, because when
I began this coaching practice

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in 2014, people weren't talking
about legacy or if they did, it

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was just in the context of death
and taxes.

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And then what I noticed during
COVID is now the consulting

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houses are, are speaking about
it, whether it's McKenzie or

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Deloitte or the accounting
firms.

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So now it, it's brought to the
forefront of, I think more so

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public consciousness.
Oh, sorry about that.

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But I also am aware that it's
still kind of a brand new topic.

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I mean, we've got a wealth
transfer that's coming on in the

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next 5 or 10 years.
We've got the feminization of

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wealth that's coming.
So I think it's like this

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iceberg is like right here, like
the Titanic is right here.

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But it's been looming and people
are, I think, are now talking

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about it more.
Do you think that in my

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experience, the trust in the
States, lawyers and the

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insurance guys, girls, whatever,
were the ones that really

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brought up the subject matter
prior to this sort of awakening

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to it?
Was that your experience as

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well?
Yeah, absolutely.

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The difficulty with an estate
attorney or an amazing CPA or

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even a wealth advisor is their
training is when the four

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corners of that document so that
they can be in compliance.

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And now if they have done the
inner work, kudos, that's great.

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Now they can lead their client
in other areas because as you

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know, somebody could say, well
Arthur, I trust you, let me tell

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you about more about my life.
Can you help me solve this and

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and perhaps you have the life
experiences to help them solve

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that.
But if you don't, then the

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conversation ends there.
And I bring up the example of

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Robin Williams.
His family was in litigation

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afterwards, multiple spouses and
children from multiple

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marriages.
But it wasn't really about the

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millions.
It was like about like the

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baseball cap and the bicycle.
And so can an attorney help with

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bringing up those conversations
ahead of time to understand what

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do all of these individuals need
from the patriarch or the

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matriarch?
You know, what is it they need

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in guidance or the the back
story of their family history?

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You know, what is it that they
need to feel like their identity

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is solid enough so that when
they get $120 million, they

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don't get lost?
Yeah, it's really interesting

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because I've seen a lot of this
as we've talked about offline

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and it doesn't matter how much
money you have, you have some of

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the same problems as if you
don't have money, you just have

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additional problems or problems
that are exacerbated by money.

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But what I'd like to ask you and
you can say no, but you said you

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want to cover the surface part
of this but not the other part.

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I'd be really interested in
hearing the other part if.

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I could tell you.
I could tell you.

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Yeah, sure.
It's up to you.

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OK, my husband has advised me
not to, to bring it up, but I

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can bring it up.
I think it's come up.

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No, I mean, I can, I can bring
it up.

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I mean, it's, I think it's
actually come up.

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I'd be adding it so.
Yeah, no, I can bring it up.

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You know, maybe that's, it's,
it's personal.

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Then it came up on a few of your
other, I think of the two videos

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on your homepage.
Yeah.

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The other aspect of it was I
think the year was 2011 or 12

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and I was doing well as a
commercial real estate broker.

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I'd worked with both NAI Capital
as well as Sperry Vaness and was

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invited to the six plate
luncheon, the Luxe Hotel, Bel

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Air, W Sunset Blvd.
And the topic was private

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prisons.
And I hadn't yet figured out

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that of course it's a product
type just like multi family

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apartments and hospitality,
which is hotels.

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Of course it is.
Of course it's got a financial

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formula.
So I'm looking to the left and

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the right and I'm asking myself,
do I want my legacy to be based

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on the suffering and misery of
other people?

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And the answer is no.
And so I think that was also the

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other bee in my bonnet of, well,
if someone else is deciding my

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future, whether it's financial
planners or whoever it is, but

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when do I get to say so?
I think that was, it was kind of

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like a punch to my gut.
It was.

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And not everyone might get their
cage rattled from that moment.

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Of course, there's millions and
billions of dollars in public

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private partnerships.
But I just wanted to design A

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legacy that it was different.
And So what ended up happening

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was I went to the Internet and I
wanted to see who could help me

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design A legacy.
And I, and as you can imagine, I

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could find coaches and
consultants to help me stop

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smoking, lose weight and double
my income.

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But I couldn't find someone.
And again, I would have been in

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my 30s then.
So I, I would, it was not a

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retirement conversation.
It was, I think a life planning

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conversation.
But then it, it, it grew from

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there because I realized that,
you know, where is, who is

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filling this niche?
Because it's not just my

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problem.
It's a problem for, for anybody

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that's out there, whether
they're self-made and to today,

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I think 2/3 of today's self or
two 2/3 of today's affluent are

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self-made.
And that's separate from

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individuals that come from a
family of multi generational

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wealth that has that have brand
new decisions.

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And again, who who is there to
help them have this legacy

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conversation?
Yeah, who is it?

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Yeah, I think it's those brave
individuals that are now coming

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forward and maybe they've been
there for many years.

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I think Jay Hughes is a fabulous
example of somebody that will

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step in and see the bigger
picture and say, well, what are

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we doing with this capital?
You know, you've got so much

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here, whether it's internal
resourcefulness or external, you

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know, social capital or external
financial capital.

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But still it's how do you pull
it all together?

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And I think another part of it
is like when you spoke about, I

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think a moment ago regarding an
identity problems are just

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exacerbated.
I think the identity piece is,

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well, who am I and does somebody
know at age 28 or 38?

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Yeah, it's really a challenge,
but it's one that if you have

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the luxury of time to think as
opposed to just do, you know,

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there's what's the old, I can't
remember the name of the book,

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but one of the guys that started
all this besides Hughes, he's

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which is kind of the grandfather
of all this, somebody that you

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wouldn't have found in the
legacy planning or state

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planning business.
But it was the guy that wrote

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the book about working on your
business rather in your

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business.
Can't remember the name of that

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book, but it was now that was 7
Habits, I think.

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But I'll think of it maybe.
No, maybe maybe you're a Gerber,

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but the point was, is that if
you're toiling away working in

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your business, rather than sort
of floating above it and working

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on it, then you'll get stuck
working in your business all the

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time.
It's sort of a pedestrian view.

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But when you when you look at
it, it makes so much sense

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because you know, arguably, and
I learned this a long time ago,

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don't practice it as well as
perhaps I should or others do,

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but I shouldn't do anything that
anybody else can do for me.

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I should focus on my unique
abilities and everything else

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should be done by somebody else.
Should the bad word, but is more

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productive.
It's it's done by somebody else

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because it allows me to execute
on my unique ability.

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Not that I'm special, but I
there's certain things that a

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whole host of employees can't do
that I can do.

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And there's a whole host of
things that they do that I can

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do also.
But it's so nonproductive for me

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to do that.
Like it doesn't make any sense

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for me to do the $25.00 an hour
task right?

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Yeah, absolutely.
Yeah.

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Hire somebody to do.
I think the other aspect of

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legacy is oftentimes if there's
not an inciting event, someone

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has to ask and you have children
so that let's say one of your

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daughter said, I don't know,
some profound question like,

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Dad, what do you want for us?
And now all of a sudden you got

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to start thinking.
Yeah, and oddly enough, or all

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too often, the relationship
between children and parents

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00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,960
isn't exactly the one that
catalyzes that type of

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discussion.
You actually have to take the

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bull by the horns.
And if it's important to you as

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a parent to 'cause that
discussion happened and they'll

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either engage or they won't,
right?

238
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Yeah, absolutely.
Well, I, I brought a couple of

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examples of individuals that did
design A legacy and the

240
00:11:50,720 --> 00:11:53,440
challenges that they came across
as well as what worked.

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So for your audience.
Let's do it.

242
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Yeah, if that could be valuable
because.

243
00:11:57,880 --> 00:12:00,040
Thanks for doing that.
I just, I wanted people to

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understand if it's OK with you
like what exactly does this look

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like and then what's the process
look like and then what's the

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outcome?
So you know, maybe that will be

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helpful to share that that's.
OK, with you.

248
00:12:12,160 --> 00:12:14,160
Yeah, absolutely.
And I think that no matter what

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the net worth is, and obviously
the examples that I'm going to

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00:12:16,680 --> 00:12:19,040
provide, these are all
individuals that are

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multimillionaires.
So they have something to lose.

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00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:25,800
But I think that again, as 2/3
of today's affluent or

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self-made, this could apply to
anyone, but they're, they're

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middle class or wherever they're
starting in life.

255
00:12:30,320 --> 00:12:33,960
I don't think it's just, you
know, I don't think legacy and

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00:12:34,040 --> 00:12:38,840
the designing it is just for,
you know, one group of people.

257
00:12:38,880 --> 00:12:41,560
You know, I think there was that
psychologist out of Connecticut

258
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or New Hampshire that wrote that
book about paradise and about

259
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:47,680
that island that you go to and
then if you get kicked off of

260
00:12:47,680 --> 00:12:49,920
the island, Strangers in
Paradise I.

261
00:12:50,600 --> 00:12:53,880
Haven't read it.
OK, he's a psychologist, maybe

262
00:12:53,880 --> 00:12:56,480
he's out in New Hampshire.
He wrote a book about it, that

263
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:59,080
when somebody becomes, when they
come into wealth.

264
00:12:59,880 --> 00:13:01,720
Gosh, I wish I could remember
the name right now.

265
00:13:01,720 --> 00:13:06,320
Anyways, yeah, so obviously
these examples, but I think it

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touches upon strings.
And when I say strings, it's

267
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like the red threads that
connect all of us.

268
00:13:11,360 --> 00:13:13,400
Because like one of the
examples, it was a gentleman

269
00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:15,280
who's 55, but he lost his
father.

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00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:18,920
Well, his father was 55 when the
father passed away.

271
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So that was the inciting event
to wake him up in terms of his

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00:13:22,440 --> 00:13:25,560
mortality to do something.
But there can be all types of

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00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:27,280
reasons.
Yeah, absolutely.

274
00:13:27,360 --> 00:13:29,880
Or if somebody gets the rug
pulled out from under them.

275
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One of the things is when
somebody is comfortable, they

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00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,920
may not design A legacy unless
they really have the Ford

277
00:13:34,920 --> 00:13:36,680
vision.
Like I've mentioned the

278
00:13:36,680 --> 00:13:38,840
Rothschild family before or you
know, whether or not whether or

279
00:13:38,840 --> 00:13:40,480
not I like all of their business
decisions.

280
00:13:40,640 --> 00:13:43,480
I think that they were brilliant
to kick the soccer ball out like

281
00:13:43,480 --> 00:13:47,600
7 generations or 10 generations
to choose to instead of watching

282
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the sports game on the weekend
to think about how do we design

283
00:13:52,520 --> 00:13:55,520
something that's going to last
and maybe everyone's going to

284
00:13:55,520 --> 00:13:57,520
buy into it.
But gosh, how how much better it

285
00:13:57,520 --> 00:14:00,400
is to be born and to see capital
than to not.

286
00:14:01,160 --> 00:14:02,880
I mean, some people think, oh,
it's great to earn it, but the

287
00:14:02,880 --> 00:14:06,520
reality is if you look around
today, gosh, maybe less than 10%

288
00:14:06,520 --> 00:14:10,000
of individuals can actually earn
it in terms of competition and

289
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:15,600
staying power.
Yeah, it's, it's well, for me,

290
00:14:15,600 --> 00:14:17,960
it's really simple.
I'd rather be captain of my own

291
00:14:17,960 --> 00:14:20,800
rowboat than made on a ship.
Yeah, right.

292
00:14:20,960 --> 00:14:24,480
So, but that decision was made
for me a long, long time ago.

293
00:14:24,480 --> 00:14:30,160
Not for me, but circumstances
were such that that was an easy

294
00:14:30,160 --> 00:14:33,720
thing for me to adopt
independent of what the horrors

295
00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:38,200
that ensued.
That was just not going to

296
00:14:38,480 --> 00:14:39,600
somebody.
But go ahead.

297
00:14:39,720 --> 00:14:43,520
Let's let's continue examples.
Well, I wanted to, before I

298
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:46,520
bring up the first example, I
just wanted to highlight a

299
00:14:46,520 --> 00:14:49,480
couple of what individuals and
families are facing today that

300
00:14:49,560 --> 00:14:51,560
where they could be emotionally
overwhelmed to not even have

301
00:14:51,560 --> 00:14:53,880
these conversations.
And I also want to add that

302
00:14:54,040 --> 00:14:56,640
during COVID, I interviewed both
of my parents for like 10 or 11

303
00:14:56,640 --> 00:14:58,520
hours.
It was like an hour a day each.

304
00:14:58,880 --> 00:15:01,400
So it wasn't just like in one,
it wasn't like an intense

305
00:15:01,400 --> 00:15:02,960
session.
It was like an hour a day so

306
00:15:02,960 --> 00:15:05,600
they could have their own time
afterwards to kind of debrief

307
00:15:05,600 --> 00:15:07,440
and then come back the next day.
And it was one of the most

308
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:10,200
valuable decisions ever.
Nice.

309
00:15:10,640 --> 00:15:13,360
Yeah, because you can finally
get to know someone past their

310
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:18,760
wallet or or past expectations
of them, of what they should be.

311
00:15:20,480 --> 00:15:22,160
Yeah.
That's but that was really

312
00:15:22,160 --> 00:15:25,520
enlightening.
It was just in, in terms of

313
00:15:25,680 --> 00:15:27,480
people like you had said, they
get so busy.

314
00:15:28,560 --> 00:15:31,680
And so I think to have the
opportunity now, gosh, it was

315
00:15:31,760 --> 00:15:34,120
yeah, it's one of the the best
decisions.

316
00:15:34,120 --> 00:15:36,240
OK.
So, so I wrote down 4 things

317
00:15:36,240 --> 00:15:39,480
that I think that can overwhelm
individuals and families today

318
00:15:39,480 --> 00:15:41,960
when it comes to planning their
legacy and designing it.

319
00:15:41,960 --> 00:15:44,120
And the reason that I bring up
individuals is because half of

320
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,280
America is single.
And if half of America is

321
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:49,560
single, I can imagine that has a
ripple effect to other nations

322
00:15:49,560 --> 00:15:51,880
and countries.
OK, Number one, we've never been

323
00:15:51,880 --> 00:15:55,440
taught how to talk about money.
And so, yeah.

324
00:15:55,600 --> 00:15:58,120
And so I think one of the
challenges is, is if, let's say

325
00:15:58,120 --> 00:16:01,120
you think your daughters aren't
ready, you might clam up and

326
00:16:01,120 --> 00:16:03,480
then there could be secrets and
you might not talk about it.

327
00:16:03,480 --> 00:16:06,400
Which means that in terms of the
feminization of wealth, it's

328
00:16:06,400 --> 00:16:10,160
like delivering something and
hoping that somebody does well.

329
00:16:10,480 --> 00:16:13,320
But if they don't have the
training, you know, consistently

330
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,760
ahead of time, whether it's 5 or
10 years or whatever the time

331
00:16:15,760 --> 00:16:19,320
frame is, it's like asking a
woman to go out on a yacht race

332
00:16:19,320 --> 00:16:21,760
and she doesn't even know the
word word starboard yet.

333
00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:26,160
So that's the first number two,
no shared language for legacy.

334
00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:29,400
Like if you play soccer, I think
it's called football, in other

335
00:16:29,400 --> 00:16:31,720
countries, you've got shared
language around that, like

336
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,880
goalie or something.
But #3 people inherit silence,

337
00:16:34,880 --> 00:16:36,600
not structure.
That's interesting.

338
00:16:37,720 --> 00:16:40,400
Well, even I was the one to
initiate the conversations with

339
00:16:40,400 --> 00:16:44,000
my family.
Yeah, that's really interesting.

340
00:16:45,240 --> 00:16:47,520
And even I.
Silence rather than structure.

341
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,560
Yeah, even my, even my father
said to me, gosh.

342
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:54,240
And she, Maya, I would have
never asked these questions to

343
00:16:54,240 --> 00:16:56,040
my parents.
And I'm like, well, it's a new

344
00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,160
day.
It's 2025 or whatever the year

345
00:16:58,160 --> 00:16:59,560
is, right?
So.

346
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:03,920
And he did speak about even his
own grandmother, Lillian

347
00:17:03,920 --> 00:17:06,079
Holland, Smart, the British
etiquette.

348
00:17:06,079 --> 00:17:09,680
She didn't hug anyone, but she
spoke warmth through her words.

349
00:17:10,359 --> 00:17:12,480
And I just thought, wow, she
didn't hug you like.

350
00:17:12,640 --> 00:17:15,680
But I think a part of it is the
expectation that we're supposed

351
00:17:15,680 --> 00:17:17,440
to know, but we cannot read
minds.

352
00:17:17,680 --> 00:17:20,040
And then you add the weight of,
and I'm going to get into the

353
00:17:20,040 --> 00:17:22,200
examples in a moment.
I have to keep an eye on my

354
00:17:22,200 --> 00:17:23,640
time.
So I make sure I paste this.

355
00:17:23,640 --> 00:17:26,640
But #4 fear of losing each other
more than losing wealth.

356
00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:29,480
Because when money can come in,
there can be resentments of,

357
00:17:29,480 --> 00:17:32,760
well, you got more than I got or
whatever it is amongst siblings.

358
00:17:32,760 --> 00:17:35,320
But even just what I thought I
was going to get more.

359
00:17:36,320 --> 00:17:39,160
Is that all you gave me?
Yeah, the old managing

360
00:17:39,160 --> 00:17:43,000
expectations thing.
Well, sure, sure.

361
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:45,600
And a part of what needs to be
given is if I bring up the Robin

362
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:48,960
Williams example again, is maybe
I don't need your millions, or

363
00:17:48,960 --> 00:17:50,480
maybe not as much of the
millions.

364
00:17:50,480 --> 00:17:52,160
Maybe I.
Want or don't want them?

365
00:17:52,160 --> 00:17:54,280
Yeah.
Sure, maybe it's a bicycle or

366
00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:58,640
that baseball cap or in the
instance between my sister and

367
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:00,440
I, we're going to be fighting
over the Turkish rugs.

368
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:05,040
OK, so I, I wanted to bring that
up, but also just to set the

369
00:18:05,040 --> 00:18:07,200
context that and, and you know,
this, we've got one of the

370
00:18:07,200 --> 00:18:10,000
largest wealth transfer that is
about to happen and it's

371
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,240
overlapping with number one of
the highest rates of anxiety,

372
00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:14,360
depression and identity
confusion.

373
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,280
There's generational gaps in
worldview.

374
00:18:16,560 --> 00:18:18,560
There's reduced in person family
time.

375
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:22,440
There's also blended and complex
family structures and a rising

376
00:18:22,440 --> 00:18:24,480
distrust in institutions.
So we have to have these

377
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:27,880
conversations now.
And in terms of you asked that

378
00:18:27,880 --> 00:18:31,160
question of how I lean into the
Co active coach training model,

379
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:33,280
I know that there are
individuals that have said they

380
00:18:33,280 --> 00:18:35,800
don't use the word coach, call
yourself an advisor and a

381
00:18:35,800 --> 00:18:37,760
strategist.
And I get all of that from

382
00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,600
marking.
But I also know that if I ask

383
00:18:39,600 --> 00:18:41,960
you a question, Arthur, and you
answer it, you're going to own

384
00:18:41,960 --> 00:18:45,000
that answer more than if I,
quote, tell you something.

385
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:48,560
So, yeah.
And the other thing I wrote down

386
00:18:48,560 --> 00:18:50,960
before I go into the examples is
people aren't just fighting

387
00:18:50,960 --> 00:18:54,000
about the money, They're also
fighting fighting about meaning.

388
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:56,840
In other words, when meaning
isn't clarified, money becomes

389
00:18:56,840 --> 00:18:59,680
the placeholder for every
unspoken fear, hope and

390
00:18:59,680 --> 00:19:02,120
unresolved aspect in that
relationship.

391
00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:04,880
So I know that you've you've
said, you shared with me that

392
00:19:04,880 --> 00:19:07,720
regarding succession, you've
come across some situations that

393
00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:10,560
may have been like a nightmare.
They may have been dicey so.

394
00:19:11,200 --> 00:19:13,000
All of them without.
Exception.

395
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,280
Yeah.
And I think that it's more than

396
00:19:15,280 --> 00:19:17,240
the money.
It's, you know, how do you throw

397
00:19:17,240 --> 00:19:18,920
me into something if I'm not
ready for it?

398
00:19:18,920 --> 00:19:22,000
Or how do you how did you not
think about that wine spot?

399
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:25,840
I thought you knew me better.
And sometimes it's not just, you

400
00:19:25,840 --> 00:19:28,240
know, patting someone on the
back and telling them to, you

401
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:31,040
know, rise to the occasion
that's going to enable them to

402
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:34,200
succeed in the future.
It's every one of the 50 blind

403
00:19:34,200 --> 00:19:35,840
spots.
The first example that I wanted

404
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,400
to bring up was I'm just going
to call him Jasper so I don't

405
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:41,960
have to use the real name.
And this had to do with an

406
00:19:41,960 --> 00:19:44,160
individual.
He wasn't heir to the Romanov

407
00:19:44,160 --> 00:19:47,200
line out of Russia, but he was
also self-made.

408
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,200
And so the question is to this
individual in my building a

409
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,000
legacy because I earned it or
because I inherited A lineage

410
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,840
that demands it.
So that's a part of the pressure

411
00:19:55,840 --> 00:20:00,200
that can come from, you know,
expectations, not just from

412
00:20:00,200 --> 00:20:02,600
parents, but if it stretches far
back.

413
00:20:02,600 --> 00:20:05,680
And so it's reconciling a dual
identity, self-made versus

414
00:20:05,680 --> 00:20:10,640
ancestral, ancestral lineage.
And I and I thought that one of

415
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,280
the questions that comes up with
this particular client is where

416
00:20:13,280 --> 00:20:16,280
does my story belong now and
what will my children find their

417
00:20:16,280 --> 00:20:19,480
roots in, as well as how do I
build without repeating history

418
00:20:19,480 --> 00:20:21,760
some of the challenges?
And if you've worked in

419
00:20:21,760 --> 00:20:23,520
business, you'd be probably know
some of this.

420
00:20:23,520 --> 00:20:27,240
It's decision fatigue, lone wolf
leadership, emotional

421
00:20:27,240 --> 00:20:29,360
suppression, avoidance of
vulnerability.

422
00:20:29,360 --> 00:20:31,680
Because even to have these
legacy conversations means that

423
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,880
there's an aspect of
vulnerability because this is

424
00:20:33,880 --> 00:20:35,680
not like new sports and weather.
Yeah.

425
00:20:36,520 --> 00:20:41,360
Do you think the baseline is
coming to grips with deciding

426
00:20:41,360 --> 00:20:44,720
that you want to do something
about your legacy 1st and then

427
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:50,800
second, having the conversation
in the family meeting like

428
00:20:50,800 --> 00:20:52,560
Hughes sets out that sort of
thing?

429
00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,920
Say that question one more time,
if you will, because I I do

430
00:20:55,920 --> 00:20:57,480
think it has to do with go
ahead.

431
00:20:58,160 --> 00:21:02,880
No, it's a little convoluted.
Is the first step somebody

432
00:21:02,880 --> 00:21:08,400
willing to address the legacy
issues, if that's of importance?

433
00:21:09,200 --> 00:21:12,640
And then some of the things that
you just said, as he said,

434
00:21:12,640 --> 00:21:14,760
require you to have
conversations, hard

435
00:21:14,760 --> 00:21:20,160
conversations, or at least start
the hard conversations with the

436
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,640
right language and understanding
what people are capable of and

437
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:29,000
what they're not capable of in
the context of a family meeting.

438
00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:32,560
Absolutely, 100%.
I think it takes courage and I

439
00:21:32,560 --> 00:21:34,240
think it's new and different
conversation.

440
00:21:34,440 --> 00:21:35,960
I don't think that they
necessarily have to be

441
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:37,800
difficult.
Let's say that you've got a

442
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:40,600
family meeting and there's eight
people in the room or four

443
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,840
people or whatever that number
is.

444
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,240
It's really just inviting the
individuals in that room to

445
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:47,360
speak on their thoughts without
judgment.

446
00:21:47,360 --> 00:21:50,680
Like in the first meeting, I
don't want to go home and

447
00:21:50,680 --> 00:21:53,000
necessarily garden variety
information, but it's inviting

448
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,040
them to say what it is that they
need to say.

449
00:21:55,240 --> 00:21:59,240
Tony Robbins has this expression
of 51% of success is simply just

450
00:21:59,240 --> 00:22:01,040
showing up.
And I think it's a willingness

451
00:22:01,040 --> 00:22:04,640
to show up time and time again.
It's just like if you go to the

452
00:22:04,640 --> 00:22:08,440
gym once a week or or however
many times you go, I don't know,

453
00:22:08,440 --> 00:22:11,240
OK, but some someone could say,
oh, it's so simple.

454
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:14,440
OK, well, five times.
So I think that if somebody can

455
00:22:14,440 --> 00:22:18,200
do legacy work as a morning
ritual or an evening ritual,

456
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:21,640
they're better for it.
A lot of times consultants and

457
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,960
advisors and coaches talk about
values, and that's great.

458
00:22:24,640 --> 00:22:28,240
Allocate and position those
values as the emotional spine of

459
00:22:28,240 --> 00:22:29,960
your legacy.
Now that's where you start

460
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:32,480
building momentum.
And so if you think about your

461
00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:35,880
values every morning or evening
as part of your ritual, then

462
00:22:35,920 --> 00:22:38,640
again, it's how do you then
bring it to the, the bigger

463
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,040
context of you know, who, who do
you get to be today?

464
00:22:42,040 --> 00:22:45,200
But it's also what I call future
projection of the visualization

465
00:22:45,200 --> 00:22:48,880
of like, let's say you live to
85 and you get to meet that

466
00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:52,280
Arthur at at age 85.
And it's asking the question of,

467
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,520
you know, what did he create and
when you meet him?

468
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:59,840
Think about that a lot, but that
I might be different than others

469
00:22:59,840 --> 00:23:03,320
because I've been exposed to a
lot of craziness, right?

470
00:23:03,600 --> 00:23:05,880
That I do think about it a lot,
but thanks for asking.

471
00:23:06,720 --> 00:23:08,280
When you say craziness, do you
mean deals?

472
00:23:09,360 --> 00:23:12,200
No, I mean in fighting in
families that have lots of money

473
00:23:12,200 --> 00:23:15,000
that I'm exposed to and whether
you have a lot of money or a

474
00:23:15,000 --> 00:23:17,640
little money, there's still
craziness within families.

475
00:23:17,640 --> 00:23:21,760
And it's all I'm saying is
because of the people I traffic

476
00:23:21,760 --> 00:23:25,680
in, so to speak, there's money
complicates things a lot.

477
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:29,120
Well, it amplifies it.
Yes.

478
00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,720
Yeah, there's an expression that
money, as well as success and

479
00:23:32,720 --> 00:23:36,280
failure amplify everything.
So.

480
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,280
True.
Yeah, I think that's right.

481
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:41,960
Well, everyone's got their
crazy, but the crazy is what we

482
00:23:41,960 --> 00:23:44,440
don't talk about.
The craziest.

483
00:23:44,440 --> 00:23:46,840
The pink elephants in the room
that we haven't processed yet.

484
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:49,160
Yeah, So.
So some of them.

485
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:50,040
So.
I'm sorry.

486
00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:51,600
Go ahead.
No, no.

487
00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,040
Please go ahead.
Well, you use the word traffic a

488
00:23:54,040 --> 00:23:56,400
moment.
So so let's say like with women

489
00:23:56,400 --> 00:23:58,520
with money, one of the things
that they can make the joke

490
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,960
about is like, well, don't look
down here.

491
00:23:59,960 --> 00:24:00,840
They're talking about their
boobs.

492
00:24:00,840 --> 00:24:01,960
It's like, look up.
OK.

493
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,280
And what they're saying is, do
you like me for me or do you

494
00:24:04,280 --> 00:24:06,960
like me for my money?
And that's when women come into

495
00:24:06,960 --> 00:24:09,440
wealth or women already have
wealth because they're born into

496
00:24:09,440 --> 00:24:11,280
it.
So if you use like that word

497
00:24:11,280 --> 00:24:12,680
trafficked, oh, you know, the
families.

498
00:24:12,880 --> 00:24:15,800
So I could say, well, what if
that woman feels objectified or.

499
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:18,080
And so it's it's leaning into.
Yeah.

500
00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:21,040
So a lot of times people are
afraid to lean into tough

501
00:24:21,040 --> 00:24:23,840
conversations of like, OK, say,
well, let's go right there.

502
00:24:24,280 --> 00:24:26,440
Tell me about what it is to feel
objectified.

503
00:24:26,640 --> 00:24:28,120
Tell me more.
What is the lesson there?

504
00:24:28,120 --> 00:24:30,840
What is the message there?
And and you just go straight

505
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:34,240
into that pink elephant in the
room because if you don't, then

506
00:24:34,240 --> 00:24:37,960
she carries around or he or
whatever carries around a voice

507
00:24:37,960 --> 00:24:39,920
in their head that never gets
explored.

508
00:24:40,240 --> 00:24:42,280
And if you can't quote there.
So in coaching, there's

509
00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:45,120
something called naming it, but
if you name it, it takes the

510
00:24:45,120 --> 00:24:48,120
power away.
That's interesting too.

511
00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:50,160
Because there's all these
conversations we avoid.

512
00:24:50,160 --> 00:24:52,640
I think, I think your
organization posted some

513
00:24:52,640 --> 00:24:56,720
recently on LinkedIn about the
podcast that I did with Ben

514
00:24:56,720 --> 00:25:01,480
Ulrich and Danny and Maxi Maxim.
And one of the things that they

515
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,520
were talking about is the red
lines in every family.

516
00:25:03,680 --> 00:25:05,600
But the red lines are the things
that we don't think we're

517
00:25:05,600 --> 00:25:08,160
supposed to talk about.
And so we we don't bring them

518
00:25:08,160 --> 00:25:11,000
up, but they're the exact things
we have to talk about of, of

519
00:25:11,080 --> 00:25:13,280
everything of the resentments.
And I didn't like that you did

520
00:25:13,280 --> 00:25:13,840
that.
Well, great.

521
00:25:13,840 --> 00:25:16,680
Let's bring it up now so we can
finally put some peace there

522
00:25:16,840 --> 00:25:19,320
because if we don't, then it's,
you know what somebody could

523
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:21,960
call like the Mexican standoff
it people just become wider and

524
00:25:21,960 --> 00:25:26,360
wider in the distance instead of
like thinking about how we could

525
00:25:26,360 --> 00:25:28,280
work together.
Sometimes coaching is like a

526
00:25:28,280 --> 00:25:30,760
redirect in energy because
either people are putting their

527
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:35,000
energy into like that resentment
and it's like, go ahead, go

528
00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:37,840
ahead.
You know what it causes me to

529
00:25:37,840 --> 00:25:43,040
think about Why sometimes having
a shrink or psychologist

530
00:25:43,040 --> 00:25:47,120
involved in your problems is
valuable is because there's

531
00:25:47,120 --> 00:25:52,760
somebody that if you can get a
wave and defeats the the

532
00:25:52,760 --> 00:25:58,120
monetary aspect of that, meaning
that oftentimes these people

533
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,440
want to keep you complicated and
in problems because the annuity

534
00:26:02,440 --> 00:26:06,160
is nice.
I mean, there's some nefarious

535
00:26:06,160 --> 00:26:08,640
intent there that we just all
are aware of.

536
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:11,680
But if you can find somebody
that doesn't have skin in the

537
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:17,960
game, that not like a family
member to go and have a counsel

538
00:26:17,960 --> 00:26:20,400
with, then that often gives you
clarity.

539
00:26:20,400 --> 00:26:23,720
And I was thinking that it's
similar in that if you bring

540
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,520
somebody like you into an
environment where things aren't

541
00:26:27,520 --> 00:26:31,520
talked about with somebody that
doesn't have school in the game

542
00:26:31,800 --> 00:26:36,400
in the context of the family,
and people realize that you

543
00:26:36,400 --> 00:26:39,840
might actually authentically
have an interest in solving the

544
00:26:39,840 --> 00:26:42,440
problem.
Because it's not your skin

545
00:26:42,440 --> 00:26:45,440
that's going to suffer if the
problem because I'm talking

546
00:26:45,440 --> 00:26:50,000
about my resentment, right?
And so it's not your resentment.

547
00:26:50,000 --> 00:26:51,800
We're having a discussion about
my resentment.

548
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,440
Yeah, I also don't.
Yeah, I don't have the same

549
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,320
emotional triggers because I
don't have the history.

550
00:26:57,840 --> 00:26:59,240
Yeah.
And the other thing is I don't

551
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:00,840
keep a client longer than three
years.

552
00:27:01,360 --> 00:27:03,720
So it's a learning curve that
they can learn all of these

553
00:27:03,720 --> 00:27:06,440
skills and then they walk away
with that as well as like a

554
00:27:06,440 --> 00:27:09,240
structure and a plan because to
have something is, is better

555
00:27:09,240 --> 00:27:11,440
than having nothing.
It's kind of like, OK, we've got

556
00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:13,240
all these resources and we're
here.

557
00:27:13,480 --> 00:27:15,160
And then what?
The patriarch dies or the

558
00:27:15,160 --> 00:27:17,600
matriarch dies and we didn't get
their input.

559
00:27:18,600 --> 00:27:21,120
One of the thing, one of the
things I wrote, this was a third

560
00:27:21,120 --> 00:27:23,840
example, was that this
particular individual, their

561
00:27:23,840 --> 00:27:25,080
challenge wasn't about the
money.

562
00:27:25,080 --> 00:27:26,960
The challenges were
psychological, relational,

563
00:27:26,960 --> 00:27:29,160
spiritual and existential.
I would think the one.

564
00:27:30,160 --> 00:27:33,400
What's that?
Did they know that or did you

565
00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:37,760
get them to?
I told them, I told them, yeah,

566
00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:42,160
with an open hand.
I think 1 distinction with

567
00:27:42,200 --> 00:27:44,840
therapists and psychologists.
And I'm making the disclaimer

568
00:27:44,840 --> 00:27:48,280
right now that I'm trained as a
Co active coach and not as as as

569
00:27:48,280 --> 00:27:50,640
a licensed psychologist.
I think one of the distinctions

570
00:27:50,640 --> 00:27:53,040
is a psychologist or therapist
will look at the past and there

571
00:27:53,040 --> 00:27:55,480
is value in that.
But then there's also shifting

572
00:27:55,480 --> 00:27:58,160
the energy over to what is it
that you want to create in the

573
00:27:58,160 --> 00:28:00,760
future.
So our minds are you probably

574
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,560
already heard with this, like
the caveman of The Cave woman,

575
00:28:02,560 --> 00:28:04,000
we look for danger in the
environment.

576
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,880
OK, but that's also called like
the what's wrong conversation.

577
00:28:07,040 --> 00:28:08,160
And we can have that all day
long.

578
00:28:08,160 --> 00:28:10,880
That's the natural default that
humans go to.

579
00:28:11,040 --> 00:28:13,240
But then if you can shift over
to the what's wanting to happen

580
00:28:13,240 --> 00:28:17,040
conversation, that's when you
open up brand new answers and

581
00:28:17,040 --> 00:28:19,200
and you ask new questions.
Yeah, what about?

582
00:28:19,240 --> 00:28:24,640
What about legacy trauma, like
the patriarch or matriarch had

583
00:28:24,640 --> 00:28:29,120
trauma in their youth, in their
family, and that automatically

584
00:28:29,120 --> 00:28:32,760
is embedded in the DNA of the
family and that the children

585
00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,200
don't even know that it happened
to them and they don't want to

586
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:36,800
talk about it.
I mean, that's complicated

587
00:28:36,800 --> 00:28:38,960
stuff, right?
Yeah, actually, that was my

588
00:28:38,960 --> 00:28:40,920
second example that I wrote
down.

589
00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,680
But in the sense of an option,
I'm going to use someone else's

590
00:28:43,680 --> 00:28:44,760
name.
So I'm going to use the name

591
00:28:44,760 --> 00:28:47,320
Paulo.
And so the gentleman, his father

592
00:28:47,320 --> 00:28:50,200
passed away at age 55, and now
he's 55 today.

593
00:28:50,560 --> 00:28:53,160
And his father helped with the
nationalization of banks in

594
00:28:53,160 --> 00:28:55,480
Mexico.
So you've got this.

595
00:28:55,480 --> 00:28:58,680
Not just the pressure of will I
live up to it, but this

596
00:28:58,680 --> 00:29:01,680
individual also walked away from
being a member of the Catholic

597
00:29:01,680 --> 00:29:03,280
Church because he wanted to
become a Christian.

598
00:29:03,520 --> 00:29:06,560
So there was some laws regarding
what I call social capital

599
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:10,440
because of a spiritual choice.
And so I I think a part of that

600
00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:13,080
is what I call being trapped
between two legacies.

601
00:29:13,080 --> 00:29:15,680
It's like in the monumental
shadow of the father, in the

602
00:29:15,680 --> 00:29:18,920
pressure to carry the torch, but
also rebelling against it and

603
00:29:18,920 --> 00:29:20,600
being defined by the father's
legacy.

604
00:29:20,600 --> 00:29:22,880
It's it's fear of being
compared, the internal

605
00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,240
conflicts.
But but I think 1 of what you're

606
00:29:25,240 --> 00:29:27,680
bringing up is if there is
trauma, congratulations.

607
00:29:27,680 --> 00:29:31,280
If you as AG two generation or
the next generation, wherever

608
00:29:31,280 --> 00:29:33,840
you fall into, the reality is if
you don't work through what the

609
00:29:33,840 --> 00:29:36,120
parents didn't work through, you
get to carry that.

610
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:38,480
Like, you know, if you believe
in Santa Claus, OK, it's like

611
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,160
you get to carry these presents
with you and it's baggage.

612
00:29:41,560 --> 00:29:43,280
And if they didn't want to do
the work because they didn't

613
00:29:43,280 --> 00:29:46,160
have the skills or the time or
the courage, congratulations.

614
00:29:46,160 --> 00:29:48,520
Now you get to and but you don't
have to.

615
00:29:48,720 --> 00:29:51,280
But, but the reality is if you
do the work, you're better for

616
00:29:51,280 --> 00:29:51,920
it.
You're free.

617
00:29:52,400 --> 00:29:55,360
But now you've got to become
more courageous than those that

618
00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,400
came before you so.
How's that work?

619
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:02,840
So I imagine there's a lot of
people who don't realize that

620
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,480
that trauma exists.
So I think they do deep down,

621
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,840
somewhere inside, but do they
want to give language to it?

622
00:30:08,880 --> 00:30:13,000
So trauma, here's how I define
it in terms of common speech.

623
00:30:13,200 --> 00:30:17,160
It's moments where you feel like
you are without power, and it

624
00:30:17,160 --> 00:30:19,440
could be within the context of
relationships.

625
00:30:19,440 --> 00:30:22,000
It could be in the context of
money if somebody faced

626
00:30:22,000 --> 00:30:25,080
homelessness, it could be in the
context of getting overpowered

627
00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:27,320
in a business meeting or having
to file bankruptcy.

628
00:30:27,520 --> 00:30:29,480
It's this moment of where you
feel powerless.

629
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:33,200
And so I think like if
somebody's G2 and they and yeah,

630
00:30:33,200 --> 00:30:37,200
I think absolutely in terms of
epigenetics that we carry on the

631
00:30:37,200 --> 00:30:40,040
things that our parents didn't
want to face.

632
00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:43,640
Like I've got a mother who, you
know, she was based out of South

633
00:30:43,640 --> 00:30:47,200
Korea and she was, she had to
face like, you know, I think

634
00:30:47,200 --> 00:30:49,000
there was occupation by the
Japanese at that time.

635
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,160
And so she felt like the first
ten years of her life, she was

636
00:30:51,160 --> 00:30:54,080
basically running for her life.
And they have to like bury their

637
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:56,000
food in order to eat in the
ground.

638
00:30:56,200 --> 00:30:59,880
How does she she's never opened
up that that experience.

639
00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,920
But now the the next generation,
I realize that if I don't work

640
00:31:03,920 --> 00:31:07,520
through her stuff, I can't go
forward in the success of my

641
00:31:07,520 --> 00:31:08,040
career.
I.

642
00:31:08,160 --> 00:31:11,080
Think you're right?
So I know that that experience

643
00:31:11,080 --> 00:31:13,600
might not be universal to all
people, but what I am bringing

644
00:31:13,600 --> 00:31:15,160
up is that do I have to do the
work?

645
00:31:15,160 --> 00:31:16,960
Absolutely not.
Am I better for it?

646
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:19,200
Sure.
Will every member of a family do

647
00:31:19,200 --> 00:31:19,840
the work?
No.

648
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,320
Sometimes if they say things
like, oh, the empath is going to

649
00:31:22,320 --> 00:31:23,440
do the work.
I'm not an empath.

650
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:25,840
I just realized that no one else
is going to do the work.

651
00:31:26,120 --> 00:31:29,120
And I think that's also
sometimes, like with males, they

652
00:31:29,120 --> 00:31:31,840
won't like step up until no one
else steps up.

653
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:34,840
And then it's kind of like, OK,
well, if I don't have choices

654
00:31:34,840 --> 00:31:37,760
and no one else is doing it,
then it's like then they they

655
00:31:37,760 --> 00:31:40,440
show up, but still it's a
choice.

656
00:31:40,440 --> 00:31:42,560
It is a choice.
Do you think that?

657
00:31:44,160 --> 00:31:48,080
Do you think that people want to
make that choice but aren't

658
00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,280
ready?
In other words, you have to be

659
00:31:51,280 --> 00:31:54,720
fertile, right?
You have to be ready to do

660
00:31:54,720 --> 00:31:57,160
something.
Everyone has a first day.

661
00:31:57,200 --> 00:32:00,160
Yes, Yeah, everyone has a first
day.

662
00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:03,280
I don't know if any of us are
ready for.

663
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:06,120
I mean, I know that when I was
growing up, my dad used to say

664
00:32:06,120 --> 00:32:10,520
to me, success happens when
you're A, ready for it and B,

665
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:14,680
when you want it.
So I think a bigger part of it

666
00:32:14,680 --> 00:32:18,560
is, do they want to say enough
is enough regarding the trauma

667
00:32:18,560 --> 00:32:21,800
in this family of whatever that
thing was, whatever that pattern

668
00:32:21,800 --> 00:32:23,640
was.
So like if let's say there's a

669
00:32:23,640 --> 00:32:27,760
loop and the loop could be
disassociation once you

670
00:32:27,760 --> 00:32:31,200
recognize that loop or the loop
could be addiction, but they but

671
00:32:31,200 --> 00:32:34,160
the addiction could be to
disassociation or whatever that

672
00:32:34,160 --> 00:32:36,240
loop is.
Once you see the loop, because

673
00:32:36,240 --> 00:32:39,600
half of it is just seeing it,
you can't Unsee it.

674
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:42,200
And then once you see it, you're
going to want to make different

675
00:32:42,200 --> 00:32:43,600
choices, I think.
That's right.

676
00:32:44,120 --> 00:32:48,520
Because so, so like, let's say
there's like Arthur right here.

677
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:51,680
I'm just going to use this
pillow highlighter for a moment.

678
00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,080
OK.
So like when you're in it, it's

679
00:32:54,080 --> 00:32:55,520
really hard to see it because
you're so close.

680
00:32:55,680 --> 00:32:58,360
But if you come up here like in
the Eagles view, you know, they

681
00:32:58,360 --> 00:32:59,880
call it the meta view.
That's what they call it in the

682
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,200
Co active training model.
It's now all of a sudden you're

683
00:33:03,200 --> 00:33:05,760
not emotionally attached.
So it's like, OK, well, I can

684
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:08,360
see that loop around the
airport, that disassociation.

685
00:33:08,600 --> 00:33:10,160
What do I want to choose that
next time?

686
00:33:10,280 --> 00:33:13,080
Because one of the things that
happens is as you grow, it's

687
00:33:13,080 --> 00:33:15,040
like the T-shirt becomes too
tight.

688
00:33:15,240 --> 00:33:17,120
You don't want to make the same
decisions anymore.

689
00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,840
You get like frustrated.
It's like, like if you bring up

690
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:22,160
the fancy family council
meetings, it's like, oh, are we

691
00:33:22,160 --> 00:33:25,320
here again?
Because if you, if you grow, but

692
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:27,640
then one of the things that
happens in every family is what

693
00:33:27,640 --> 00:33:31,720
they call quantum entanglement.
So if you start to grow, you end

694
00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,880
up actually taking the other
family members with you because

695
00:33:34,880 --> 00:33:37,160
of your, your nodding.
Do you understand what I'm

696
00:33:37,160 --> 00:33:38,920
talking about?
Yeah, yeah, of course.

697
00:33:39,440 --> 00:33:42,240
OK.
So it it really takes one family

698
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:44,880
member in the examples that I
gave it, I ended working with

699
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:47,080
the patriarchs and all the
scenarios.

700
00:33:47,240 --> 00:33:49,800
But if they did the work inside
of themselves and they went back

701
00:33:49,800 --> 00:33:54,360
to their family in a new way to
design that legacy and to give

702
00:33:54,360 --> 00:33:57,880
the gift of that framework to
their children, to their wives,

703
00:33:57,880 --> 00:33:59,520
etcetera.
Do you have another question?

704
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:03,560
Yeah.
Lots of, lots of them, but this

705
00:34:03,560 --> 00:34:05,480
is fascinating.
It's interesting.

706
00:34:05,480 --> 00:34:08,280
The language that you use is
illuminating.

707
00:34:08,560 --> 00:34:14,639
The there's a trend now in not
in the context of legacy, but

708
00:34:14,639 --> 00:34:21,239
maybe in the context more of
healing legacy traumas and other

709
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:24,880
traumas of using plant based
medicine in ayahuasca and all

710
00:34:24,880 --> 00:34:28,320
these shaman type stuff.
Have you found that to be

711
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:29,920
helpful in anything that you're
doing?

712
00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:33,520
I have heard of that plant based
medicines and I'm just writing

713
00:34:33,520 --> 00:34:35,520
down healing legacy traumas
because I think that's a very

714
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,639
interesting phrase.
I think that, you know, they

715
00:34:37,639 --> 00:34:39,920
talk about how we live in this
day and age where all this stuff

716
00:34:39,920 --> 00:34:41,880
is coming to the surface.
I don't I'm not going to make it

717
00:34:41,880 --> 00:34:43,960
religious and talk about like
the Book of Revelation, but I

718
00:34:43,960 --> 00:34:47,040
think a lot is coming to the
surface and with what is getting

719
00:34:47,320 --> 00:34:50,840
exposed and that is coming up.
It's like, congratulations, you

720
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:53,000
can work with that now because
it's not suppressed.

721
00:34:53,239 --> 00:34:55,600
So whether it's somebody works
with it through plant medicine

722
00:34:55,600 --> 00:34:58,960
or it's the choice to, you know,
they call it like talk therapy

723
00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:02,680
or, or whatever the method is.
Yeah, I think that it's, I think

724
00:35:02,680 --> 00:35:04,000
people are at a crossroads
today.

725
00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,520
Do they want to do the same
thing that they've done the last

726
00:35:06,520 --> 00:35:09,320
so many years and decades or
centuries?

727
00:35:09,600 --> 00:35:13,040
Or do they want to be creative
and choose a new way that works?

728
00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:17,160
So I think a part of legacy is
asking the question of what do I

729
00:35:17,160 --> 00:35:19,840
want to take with me and then
what do I want to let go of?

730
00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:23,720
Yeah, I think Tony Robbins was
really effective in many ways

731
00:35:23,720 --> 00:35:28,600
for people, not just in terms of
recognizing that there is a a

732
00:35:28,600 --> 00:35:33,000
giant within them, but
recognizing that an examined, a

733
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,400
life not examined isn't worth
living.

734
00:35:35,640 --> 00:35:37,440
Right.
Like he, I mean, he's been

735
00:35:37,440 --> 00:35:39,320
talking about that for a long
time.

736
00:35:39,320 --> 00:35:43,000
And when people get shift in
that mindset and they go, wait a

737
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:47,000
minute, all right, If I'm at the
point in my life where I'm just

738
00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:48,720
surviving, then that's one
thing.

739
00:35:49,400 --> 00:35:53,400
But if I've got the survival
thing taken care of and then now

740
00:35:53,400 --> 00:35:55,840
what?
How do I prosper?

741
00:35:55,840 --> 00:36:00,040
How do I do things that I think
are valuable to me, my family

742
00:36:00,040 --> 00:36:02,120
and humanity?
I mean those things.

743
00:36:02,120 --> 00:36:04,640
So there's a lot of people
toiling away in the world that

744
00:36:04,640 --> 00:36:06,440
are just putting food on the
table.

745
00:36:06,560 --> 00:36:09,600
And I'm not criticizing them.
I'm just saying there's usually

746
00:36:09,600 --> 00:36:13,040
no time for anything else.
It's kind of like how a lot of

747
00:36:13,040 --> 00:36:16,600
people aren't paying A to what's
happening in the world or in

748
00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:18,360
politics.
And I'm not criticizing them

749
00:36:18,400 --> 00:36:20,840
either, but they're getting up
every day and they're taking

750
00:36:20,840 --> 00:36:23,440
care of their family and there's
just no time for anything else.

751
00:36:23,720 --> 00:36:25,280
No, I get that.
Yeah, I get that.

752
00:36:25,400 --> 00:36:26,840
That's why I refer to the
weekends.

753
00:36:27,040 --> 00:36:30,360
Do you choose to watch that
sports game or even on a

754
00:36:30,360 --> 00:36:32,320
weeknight, do you choose to
watch that Netflix?

755
00:36:32,800 --> 00:36:34,840
Because I get it at 7:00?
You want to turn your brain off.

756
00:36:35,040 --> 00:36:37,680
But if you said to me a moment
ago I go to the gym five times,

757
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:40,480
going to the gym matters.
It matters because I've come to

758
00:36:40,480 --> 00:36:45,680
the realization that it matters.
Plus my hot wife, girlfriend,

759
00:36:45,680 --> 00:36:47,440
whatever you want to call her.
What's in the cross radio?

760
00:36:47,880 --> 00:36:52,880
Is a professional bodybuilder
and in the athletic business by

761
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:55,640
her training.
And so I mean, there's just no

762
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:59,800
way even I don't like going to
the gym and it's not a place for

763
00:36:59,800 --> 00:37:05,280
me of respite, not respite, but
for her, it's a great place for

764
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:07,600
her, for me, it's just a
challenge, right?

765
00:37:09,040 --> 00:37:12,760
So, but I, I know that the feel,
once I'm out of the gym, I feel

766
00:37:12,760 --> 00:37:15,600
fantastic, right?
So, so I would say once you

767
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:18,280
yeah, I would say once you
design your legacy plan, you'll

768
00:37:18,280 --> 00:37:20,120
feel that much more confident
about the future.

769
00:37:20,400 --> 00:37:24,480
But it's but in the moment, like
I mentioned a moment ago about

770
00:37:24,480 --> 00:37:27,240
if there's an inciting event
like one of the case studies I

771
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,760
brought up today of a real life
person is an individual had

772
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,200
$1,000,000 practice as a
physician and he didn't conform

773
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:35,400
to something in his country and
he lost his license.

774
00:37:35,400 --> 00:37:37,800
OK, well, then he went back to
Europe and he started over

775
00:37:37,800 --> 00:37:41,000
again, but he had to rebuild.
It's kind of, you know, like the

776
00:37:41,000 --> 00:37:44,560
boxer and the boxing ring, you
know, if you have nothing, then

777
00:37:44,920 --> 00:37:47,600
again, when we have so many
choices, we might do nothing.

778
00:37:47,760 --> 00:37:50,200
When we get something taken
away, then we say, OK, am I

779
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:52,080
going to show up?
And then how when I show up this

780
00:37:52,080 --> 00:37:53,480
time, how am I going to build
it?

781
00:37:53,480 --> 00:37:56,920
Or in another example I have
here, you know, it's somebody

782
00:37:56,920 --> 00:38:00,640
that actually did very well in
life but had but came across

783
00:38:00,640 --> 00:38:04,600
some very traumatic
circumstances where now he's

784
00:38:04,600 --> 00:38:07,040
rebuilding as a developer in
Central America.

785
00:38:07,400 --> 00:38:10,640
So does somebody have to get the
rug taken not from under them?

786
00:38:10,840 --> 00:38:13,080
No, not necessarily.
And I don't know what the wake

787
00:38:13,080 --> 00:38:14,720
up call is.
If you're talking about like,

788
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:17,760
let's say, like someone in in
your shoes, Maybe the wake up

789
00:38:17,760 --> 00:38:23,080
call is could be health related
or it could be that a feeling of

790
00:38:23,080 --> 00:38:24,800
frustration.
Well, why don't I have a plan?

791
00:38:24,920 --> 00:38:27,960
I just had to talk with this
woman on my podcast and she

792
00:38:27,960 --> 00:38:30,760
talked all about having a plan.
I don't have a plan Dog on it

793
00:38:30,960 --> 00:38:32,760
right Or or next Gen. member
have a.

794
00:38:33,040 --> 00:38:36,000
Plan but that's a topic for a
different time, largely because

795
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,720
I've been exposed to Hughes and
a lot of people and you know, if

796
00:38:40,080 --> 00:38:44,080
taking it seriously quite a long
time ago, maybe not in the same

797
00:38:44,080 --> 00:38:48,640
way that you've been able to
help others, but you know,

798
00:38:48,720 --> 00:38:54,040
there's I'm definitely farther
along than most just because I

799
00:38:54,040 --> 00:38:56,320
know a lot of people who aren't
right.

800
00:38:56,360 --> 00:38:59,680
I have an interesting you
brought up and said you weren't

801
00:38:59,680 --> 00:39:01,320
going to make it spiritual or
religious.

802
00:39:01,680 --> 00:39:07,480
I think it's really interesting
to see the effect of people

803
00:39:07,480 --> 00:39:13,080
becoming more except people
feeling like they can be

804
00:39:13,080 --> 00:39:16,920
religious without being
ostracized, especially the

805
00:39:16,920 --> 00:39:19,960
youth.
And I have to credit Charlie

806
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:23,160
Kirk and a lot of what he's
doing with catalyzing some of

807
00:39:23,160 --> 00:39:25,040
that.
I think, I mean I don't know any

808
00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:29,120
of the stats, but when I was
growing up in when I was

809
00:39:29,120 --> 00:39:34,000
17/18/1920 years old, nobody
would ever admit that at least

810
00:39:34,000 --> 00:39:37,440
in my circle of people that they
were serious about religion.

811
00:39:37,440 --> 00:39:39,560
It was just something that was
they had to do because they were

812
00:39:39,560 --> 00:39:44,160
born it as either Jewish or
Catholic or Protestant and it

813
00:39:44,160 --> 00:39:50,160
was just a nuisance.
But there the 17/18/20 and so

814
00:39:50,240 --> 00:39:55,360
some odd pages seemingly like I
don't have any stats, you know,

815
00:39:55,360 --> 00:39:58,760
they're, they're embracing.
And it doesn't matter to me

816
00:39:58,760 --> 00:40:00,560
whether it's Catholicism or
anything else.

817
00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:05,000
It's just the idea that there's
a divine and they accept that

818
00:40:05,200 --> 00:40:07,360
and that is important in their
life, right?

819
00:40:08,120 --> 00:40:11,480
Like I think that that's huge.
I, I love that people are

820
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:15,800
recognizing it.
Like I said, I'm not advocating

821
00:40:15,800 --> 00:40:19,920
any kind of dogma because I'm
actually anti dogma, but I love

822
00:40:19,920 --> 00:40:24,240
the idea that people will
recognize divinity of some type

823
00:40:24,320 --> 00:40:26,400
right?
Well, I think they need that

824
00:40:26,400 --> 00:40:28,480
today.
If we go back to meaning, I

825
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,960
can't tell you the number of
individuals I've sat across from

826
00:40:30,960 --> 00:40:33,400
at a dinner that that are
affluent that have said to me,

827
00:40:33,680 --> 00:40:36,120
is this all that there is?
Yeah.

828
00:40:36,120 --> 00:40:39,000
I wanted to bring up this other
point about family culture that

829
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:42,160
I think like if I go back again
to, and I've never spoken to

830
00:40:42,160 --> 00:40:45,280
anyone within the Rothschild
family, I have associates that

831
00:40:45,280 --> 00:40:47,560
have.
But I think to myself, in their

832
00:40:47,560 --> 00:40:51,120
family culture, they expected
excellence and so they might

833
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:54,480
have not watched that sports
game on the weekend because

834
00:40:54,480 --> 00:40:57,720
they're the family culture
demanded that everyone show up

835
00:40:57,720 --> 00:40:59,400
to that family meeting and play
all out.

836
00:40:59,640 --> 00:41:02,200
And I think like they have
activities where people have to

837
00:41:02,200 --> 00:41:04,560
bring a book report in terms of
intellectual capital.

838
00:41:04,720 --> 00:41:08,160
So I think that a part of is,
you know, what is that family

839
00:41:08,160 --> 00:41:09,760
culture?
And if you if you say, well, a

840
00:41:09,760 --> 00:41:12,080
part of that family culture is
trauma in the background, well,

841
00:41:12,080 --> 00:41:14,320
great.
Well then congratulations.

842
00:41:14,320 --> 00:41:15,400
How are you going to work
through that?

843
00:41:16,040 --> 00:41:18,920
Or is it just going to be
ignored another decade?

844
00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,920
And then I think another aspect
is, you know, like where you

845
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:27,560
said, if people are busy, well,
if you say to a 28 year old or a

846
00:41:27,560 --> 00:41:30,600
38 year old, congratulations and
one week you're going to inherit

847
00:41:30,600 --> 00:41:33,960
120 million, you got to start
having conversations with that

848
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:40,040
young person.
And it's not just that, I don't

849
00:41:40,040 --> 00:41:41,920
think it's just that they're
going to be crushed, but I think

850
00:41:41,920 --> 00:41:43,560
it's integration of what is
their dream.

851
00:41:43,560 --> 00:41:45,480
If they say my dream is to go to
film school, great.

852
00:41:45,640 --> 00:41:47,000
Well, how can you allocate some
of that?

853
00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:49,480
So you keep growing and that
what I call that lane of traffic

854
00:41:49,480 --> 00:41:52,320
that's meant for you and your
purpose, not just that all of a

855
00:41:52,320 --> 00:41:54,720
sudden you get 120 million and
you're going to be partying on

856
00:41:54,720 --> 00:41:57,720
yachts or whatever that thing is
that is so tempting.

857
00:41:57,760 --> 00:42:01,920
Or you know, what comes with
that is, you know, what comes

858
00:42:01,920 --> 00:42:04,800
oftentimes with money of are you
going to have your same friends?

859
00:42:05,240 --> 00:42:08,680
Can you tell your friends?
Yeah, I know a lot of people who

860
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:12,640
just don't believe they have any
meaning because often their

861
00:42:12,640 --> 00:42:14,480
interactions they have are
people.

862
00:42:15,200 --> 00:42:17,920
They're there.
There are people in their lives

863
00:42:17,920 --> 00:42:22,160
that even though they might have
been friends, they're tempted to

864
00:42:22,160 --> 00:42:24,640
tap into that wealth for their
own reasons.

865
00:42:24,640 --> 00:42:28,800
And so you get suspect just
like, you know, a woman saying,

866
00:42:28,800 --> 00:42:30,880
well, wait a minute, do you
really want me for my boobs or

867
00:42:30,880 --> 00:42:32,560
my brain or both?
Right.

868
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:35,960
I think it's the same sort of
dilemma.

869
00:42:36,280 --> 00:42:39,000
So the question I would pose to
that individual is, will you let

870
00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:40,520
other people love you outside of
your money?

871
00:42:40,800 --> 00:42:43,680
Because if they believe I'm only
loved because of my ability to

872
00:42:43,680 --> 00:42:46,320
entertain, but now they've just
put that limitation on

873
00:42:46,320 --> 00:42:48,240
themselves.
So where's the opportunity to

874
00:42:48,240 --> 00:42:49,400
grow?
Of course there's an opportunity

875
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:52,640
to grow, but you've also got to
believe in humans and humanity

876
00:42:52,840 --> 00:42:55,440
and human nature that it's not
just people that are going to

877
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:59,240
just show up to take and then
people do surprise you.

878
00:43:00,440 --> 00:43:04,920
Yeah, I would argue that you
don't have to believe that, but

879
00:43:05,040 --> 00:43:08,400
it's better if you do.
It is better if you do.

880
00:43:09,080 --> 00:43:12,160
It's better if you don't stay
jaded if you come back fulzilla

881
00:43:12,160 --> 00:43:14,800
to religion.
It's better if you see the

882
00:43:14,800 --> 00:43:17,120
glasses half full.
Yeah, I think religion is good

883
00:43:17,120 --> 00:43:19,760
for people.
I think that some religions,

884
00:43:20,400 --> 00:43:25,440
almost all the religions carry
their own hypocrisy and problems

885
00:43:25,440 --> 00:43:28,440
that they've had.
And it's was largely a control

886
00:43:28,440 --> 00:43:30,720
construct.
Forget about whether you believe

887
00:43:30,720 --> 00:43:33,200
one way or the other or the
story or whatever.

888
00:43:33,200 --> 00:43:35,880
It's kind of like the legacy
media now.

889
00:43:36,120 --> 00:43:39,440
At some point you wanted to
believe them, but now you can't.

890
00:43:40,320 --> 00:43:42,880
And so same thing happened with
religion.

891
00:43:43,560 --> 00:43:46,880
Some point you wanted to believe
them, but because you know all

892
00:43:46,880 --> 00:43:50,200
the priests were diddling with
the little altar boys, now you

893
00:43:50,200 --> 00:43:52,240
can't, right?
Well, I think.

894
00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:54,320
What?
But you can put that aside and

895
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,040
say, wait a minute, there's some
good in here.

896
00:43:56,240 --> 00:43:58,600
But you have to have, you have
to examine that, right?

897
00:43:58,960 --> 00:44:01,480
Yeah, well, I think the divine
will always be the divine.

898
00:44:02,480 --> 00:44:05,320
I totally agree with that.
Yeah, yeah.

899
00:44:05,520 --> 00:44:09,200
So the messengers can fall short
in their own humanity, but I

900
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,080
think as somebody has designed a
legacy and people talk about

901
00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:14,840
spiritual capital, that was one
of the things that I wrote down.

902
00:44:14,840 --> 00:44:16,520
I just want to.
I know I'm not supposed to read

903
00:44:16,520 --> 00:44:18,280
from my notes because that would
be ultra boring.

904
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:22,080
You can read from your notes.
Yeah, well, if I if I bring up

905
00:44:22,080 --> 00:44:26,200
the the gentleman that lost his
medical practice in one country

906
00:44:26,240 --> 00:44:29,520
and he luckily had a sister in
Switzerland that had deep

907
00:44:29,520 --> 00:44:32,720
pockets that allowed him then to
start over again.

908
00:44:32,720 --> 00:44:35,600
But one of the things that came
up is reconciling divine purpose

909
00:44:35,600 --> 00:44:38,240
with human suffering.
You know, why did he have to go

910
00:44:38,240 --> 00:44:40,760
through that?
Because at that moment, he was

911
00:44:40,760 --> 00:44:44,080
in shell shock, just like many
people are when an experience

912
00:44:44,080 --> 00:44:47,320
comes to them.
And they say, but I did

913
00:44:47,320 --> 00:44:49,520
everything right.
Why is this happening?

914
00:44:49,920 --> 00:44:52,680
And the answer could simply
because you were supposed to

915
00:44:52,680 --> 00:44:54,360
rebuild.
You were supposed to do

916
00:44:54,360 --> 00:44:56,480
something different.
I mean, I know humans are

917
00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:58,320
meaning making machines.
One of the things that they say

918
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:00,640
in the world of coaching is if
you go into a room of 100

919
00:45:00,640 --> 00:45:02,840
people, there's going to be 100
different opinions in the room.

920
00:45:02,840 --> 00:45:04,040
And I do.
Yeah.

921
00:45:04,160 --> 00:45:06,600
And I do think that design and
legacy has to be spiritual.

922
00:45:06,600 --> 00:45:11,680
It can't just be documents
because it's one of the things I

923
00:45:11,680 --> 00:45:14,880
also wrote down, and this was
the gentleman Apollo out of that

924
00:45:14,880 --> 00:45:17,080
grew up in Mexico City.
What he needed was not legal

925
00:45:17,080 --> 00:45:19,840
structures, but identity,
permission, emotional clarity,

926
00:45:19,840 --> 00:45:24,200
and legacy agency.
And so the divine absolutely has

927
00:45:24,200 --> 00:45:26,840
to step in because if we don't
believe in something bigger,

928
00:45:27,160 --> 00:45:29,240
it's kind of like what people
have said to me at dinners.

929
00:45:29,240 --> 00:45:32,520
Is this all that there is?
Yeah, I mean, I it's like this

930
00:45:32,520 --> 00:45:34,720
is not about me, but for me it's
really simple.

931
00:45:34,720 --> 00:45:39,840
I think that the universe has my
back and I just go about my

932
00:45:39,840 --> 00:45:42,680
business and try to make smart
decisions and good choices.

933
00:45:43,360 --> 00:45:45,920
And, you know, Joseph Campbell
said it well, it's really

934
00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:48,880
simple.
He said, you know, life is full

935
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:50,640
of suffering.
Embrace it.

936
00:45:52,080 --> 00:45:57,800
I mean, it's easy to say not so
easy when you're suffering, but

937
00:45:59,200 --> 00:46:05,400
you know, there's, yeah, it's
when you're going through it,

938
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,440
it's a little tough.
Well, I'm going to plug

939
00:46:07,440 --> 00:46:11,880
coaching.
Better to talk to somebody than

940
00:46:11,880 --> 00:46:14,960
to to stay in isolation.
And you brought up a moment ago

941
00:46:14,960 --> 00:46:16,720
individuals that feel like they
have no friends.

942
00:46:16,960 --> 00:46:19,080
I think a part of it is working
on it.

943
00:46:19,440 --> 00:46:23,640
Like, again, it's like that
belief of, well, people care

944
00:46:23,640 --> 00:46:27,080
about me and love me and like me
if I didn't have money, We have

945
00:46:27,080 --> 00:46:29,160
to first start to believe it.
But you also have to show up in

946
00:46:29,160 --> 00:46:32,480
a way that gives more reason to
like and love and care about

947
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,800
you.
Yeah.

948
00:46:34,800 --> 00:46:37,040
And whatever, whatever wounds
are in the past, you talk about

949
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,920
past trauma.
If there is some type of trauma

950
00:46:38,920 --> 00:46:41,360
in the past.
Again, if I bring up this, if

951
00:46:41,360 --> 00:46:44,960
you're standing so close to it
at age 510-1525, whatever that

952
00:46:44,960 --> 00:46:47,200
age is.
And then now you're at a

953
00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:49,960
different place where you can
have different interpretations

954
00:46:49,960 --> 00:46:53,360
of, well, what happened then,
You know, did you miss something

955
00:46:53,360 --> 00:46:55,080
because you were clueless at
that moment?

956
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,840
But now your awareness is
different, so you can connect

957
00:46:57,840 --> 00:47:00,680
with people differently because
a part of it legacy is

958
00:47:00,680 --> 00:47:03,560
relationships.
And if you're, if you're wounded

959
00:47:03,560 --> 00:47:05,960
because of something that
happened back in the day, you

960
00:47:05,960 --> 00:47:08,720
know, age 2535, whatever it is
and you carried on.

961
00:47:08,720 --> 00:47:11,160
It's like sometimes people make
decisions that make sense for

962
00:47:11,160 --> 00:47:14,400
them in their mind at age 10 or
20 or whatever it is.

963
00:47:14,560 --> 00:47:18,000
But then when you move on later
in life, that decision making

964
00:47:18,680 --> 00:47:21,160
doesn't work anymore.
It worked then when you were 10,

965
00:47:22,680 --> 00:47:24,880
but now?
You like it worked when you were

966
00:47:24,880 --> 00:47:26,880
10?
The world has changed.

967
00:47:27,200 --> 00:47:29,480
The rules have changed.
What we know has changed.

968
00:47:29,480 --> 00:47:31,680
Maybe.
Yeah, so how much do you have to

969
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,720
suffer before you finally reach
out and ask for help?

970
00:47:33,960 --> 00:47:37,840
And asking for help is like a
sounding board, something other

971
00:47:37,840 --> 00:47:40,360
than staying in insanity, which
is doing the same thing over and

972
00:47:40,360 --> 00:47:41,880
over again, expecting different
results.

973
00:47:43,280 --> 00:47:44,840
Yeah, because then that leads to
bitterness.

974
00:47:44,880 --> 00:47:50,160
So what, what's the, what's,
what have you found is the best,

975
00:47:50,760 --> 00:47:53,880
not the best, the most
productive?

976
00:47:53,960 --> 00:47:58,000
I want to put this in less of a
business context and more in the

977
00:47:58,640 --> 00:48:03,200
outcomes context, in the
engagements that you've had.

978
00:48:04,440 --> 00:48:08,400
How do they best progress?
Somebody realizes that they need

979
00:48:08,400 --> 00:48:11,160
your help because they met you
or you were referred to

980
00:48:11,160 --> 00:48:12,920
somebody.
People aren't coming out of the

981
00:48:12,920 --> 00:48:15,880
blue and saying, oh me, I got
to, I need some help with my

982
00:48:15,880 --> 00:48:18,920
legacy plate.
Seems to me like that's probably

983
00:48:18,920 --> 00:48:22,880
not happening, right?
So what's the best, What is the

984
00:48:22,880 --> 00:48:26,000
most productive way for people
to engage?

985
00:48:26,880 --> 00:48:32,760
And what have you found is good
for you in that regard?

986
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:37,040
Like people referring you in?
How's that work?

987
00:48:38,000 --> 00:48:40,680
Yeah, you're absolutely right.
Normally there's a referral

988
00:48:40,840 --> 00:48:43,400
because it's kind of a tough
thing to like get dropped in on

989
00:48:43,400 --> 00:48:45,680
someone's world if they don't
have a reference point of what

990
00:48:45,680 --> 00:48:48,280
legacy means or what it could
mean for them.

991
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,160
So normally I work with an
individual, could be once a

992
00:48:51,160 --> 00:48:53,400
week, or it depends on what's
designed.

993
00:48:53,400 --> 00:48:55,440
So at the very beginning of any
coaching relationship is

994
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:56,840
something called a designed
alliance.

995
00:48:57,000 --> 00:48:59,400
It's like how we're going to
work together and a part of it

996
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,200
is the timing, but another part
of it is, you know, how do you

997
00:49:02,200 --> 00:49:03,400
want to be coached?
Do you want it to be

998
00:49:03,400 --> 00:49:05,400
confrontational?
Do you want me to challenge you?

999
00:49:05,400 --> 00:49:09,040
Do you want me?
I mean, so that there's, you

1000
00:49:09,040 --> 00:49:11,040
know, let's say that somebody
doesn't want judgment.

1001
00:49:11,120 --> 00:49:13,040
How do we incorporate that in
into the terms of the

1002
00:49:13,040 --> 00:49:15,840
communication style?
So if I talk to them for once a

1003
00:49:15,840 --> 00:49:18,880
week, for one year, two years or
three years, and after three

1004
00:49:18,880 --> 00:49:21,360
years, like, you know, they got
to go because they got to grow.

1005
00:49:21,600 --> 00:49:23,480
You know, it's not for them to
stand underneath my wing

1006
00:49:23,480 --> 00:49:25,120
forever.
It's it's a transfer of some

1007
00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:26,960
skills.
And then they, they go out and

1008
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,360
they, and then they're good.
They've gone to, you know,

1009
00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:32,360
legacy planning university
informally.

1010
00:49:33,640 --> 00:49:35,920
But I, I would say in those
weeks, it's like the things that

1011
00:49:35,920 --> 00:49:39,240
come up because if somebody
grows and not only does it, is

1012
00:49:39,240 --> 00:49:40,520
it like the furniture in their
brain?

1013
00:49:40,520 --> 00:49:42,520
You know, you move one piece of
furniture and like four other

1014
00:49:42,520 --> 00:49:44,560
pieces get moved.
But the other thing that happens

1015
00:49:44,560 --> 00:49:46,920
is, and I don't know if you have
faces in your life because I

1016
00:49:46,920 --> 00:49:48,640
think you're surrounded by a lot
of winners that are very

1017
00:49:48,640 --> 00:49:50,880
positive.
But it's sometimes as you grow

1018
00:49:50,880 --> 00:49:53,560
and you change, other people can
go, well, I, you know, I feel

1019
00:49:53,560 --> 00:49:55,240
like I'm losing you or you've
changed.

1020
00:49:55,440 --> 00:49:57,360
And the answer is, well, let me
invite you to change with me.

1021
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:00,000
Let me invite you to grow with
me so you're not losing me.

1022
00:50:00,000 --> 00:50:03,560
You have to reassure other
people because there is a ripple

1023
00:50:03,560 --> 00:50:05,120
effect when you start coaching
someone and you're doing it

1024
00:50:05,120 --> 00:50:07,040
right and they're growing, it's
great.

1025
00:50:07,040 --> 00:50:10,880
And yes, other people are going
to notice because it they're not

1026
00:50:10,880 --> 00:50:14,360
like they're not going to have
necessarily the same mindset or

1027
00:50:14,360 --> 00:50:16,080
they're not going to be doing
the same things that they did a

1028
00:50:16,080 --> 00:50:18,720
week ago.
I can see that is are, are there

1029
00:50:18,800 --> 00:50:23,200
other often times people have
sources of influence that help

1030
00:50:23,200 --> 00:50:26,720
them get clients And now I'm
thinking about it in the

1031
00:50:26,720 --> 00:50:30,840
business context, right, The
trust in the states lawyers help

1032
00:50:30,840 --> 00:50:33,520
you.
Is it just sort of random?

1033
00:50:34,120 --> 00:50:38,560
I mean, is there a good center
of influence that helps you find

1034
00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:40,840
people that you want to work
with?

1035
00:50:41,000 --> 00:50:44,000
Well, sources of business could
be estate planning, attorney,

1036
00:50:44,200 --> 00:50:47,840
wealth advisors, etcetera, Cpas,
if they've got a client in front

1037
00:50:47,840 --> 00:50:49,400
of them.
And like I said before, if they

1038
00:50:49,400 --> 00:50:52,160
haven't done the inner work and
they've got a client that says,

1039
00:50:52,480 --> 00:50:56,280
I, I just had a conversation
with a family member and it was

1040
00:50:56,320 --> 00:50:57,840
a blow up.
It was a nightmare.

1041
00:50:57,840 --> 00:51:00,600
If and the CPA said they're
going, I'm not trained on this,

1042
00:51:00,680 --> 00:51:03,920
but I can refer you to someone
or if if someone sent across

1043
00:51:03,920 --> 00:51:08,080
from them and they they're
having, you know, they're

1044
00:51:08,080 --> 00:51:10,320
seeking advice.
And again, the attorney could

1045
00:51:10,320 --> 00:51:13,080
say, well, my thoughts are this,
but here's someone who I think

1046
00:51:13,080 --> 00:51:18,200
could better help you.
And it's yeah, I think that most

1047
00:51:18,200 --> 00:51:21,480
legacies don't fail because of
the attorney didn't write a

1048
00:51:21,480 --> 00:51:23,240
document of the four corners
well enough.

1049
00:51:23,360 --> 00:51:26,560
It's because all of this human
stuff comes out like you had

1050
00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,440
said, you know, if there's
trauma in the past and what ends

1051
00:51:29,440 --> 00:51:33,040
up happening, if someone doesn't
heal and remedy that trauma, it

1052
00:51:33,240 --> 00:51:36,720
leads on to the next person.
And it's like when they talk

1053
00:51:36,720 --> 00:51:40,120
about stuff rolling downhill or
somebody kicking the dog because

1054
00:51:40,120 --> 00:51:42,720
somebody doesn't want that
energy, that quantum energy with

1055
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:44,840
within them.
So they're going to push it off

1056
00:51:44,840 --> 00:51:46,840
on someone.
But are they really pushing it

1057
00:51:46,840 --> 00:51:48,760
off?
Because if it's a pattern, it's

1058
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:51,960
still in the room until you
transform that energy and heal

1059
00:51:51,960 --> 00:51:53,760
it.
And a part of yeah.

1060
00:51:53,840 --> 00:51:56,680
So part of a transferring that
energy is if I bring the Co

1061
00:51:56,680 --> 00:51:58,960
active coaching tools, it's
looking at it from different

1062
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:02,040
perspectives.
If somebody has a very narrow

1063
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:06,320
performance based view of this
world, it's about broadening it

1064
00:52:06,560 --> 00:52:08,480
to look at it from other
perspectives and then asking

1065
00:52:08,480 --> 00:52:09,880
them, you know, what is the
gift?

1066
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:13,760
If you look at this from
different angles, you know, like

1067
00:52:13,760 --> 00:52:16,800
you brought up something before
and I, and I think I made the

1068
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:19,400
joke of, oh, if somebody feels
objectified, we'll go straight

1069
00:52:19,400 --> 00:52:21,160
into that.
It's called process coaching.

1070
00:52:21,280 --> 00:52:24,720
Let's process that, because if
we don't process it, it's just

1071
00:52:24,720 --> 00:52:26,880
going to stay there.
Yeah.

1072
00:52:27,080 --> 00:52:30,760
Yeah, it's like swap energy,
just it, it, it not only stays

1073
00:52:30,760 --> 00:52:33,000
there, but it, it can infect.
Yeah.

1074
00:52:33,280 --> 00:52:35,680
Yeah, yeah, it sounds.
I think I mentioned this to you.

1075
00:52:35,720 --> 00:52:39,320
There's a friend of mine that
wrote a book called Solve for

1076
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:42,120
Happy.
I don't remember this but keep

1077
00:52:42,120 --> 00:52:44,520
going.
No, he's just, but he was an

1078
00:52:44,520 --> 00:52:48,120
engineer, so everything had to
be, you know, a thought like an

1079
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:51,080
engineer as something else,
right.

1080
00:52:51,120 --> 00:52:55,720
And one of the things that was
the most important outcomes of

1081
00:52:55,720 --> 00:53:01,120
the book was that what you said
earlier with your pen is that if

1082
00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:04,360
you're you're not your mind,
you're the observer of your

1083
00:53:04,360 --> 00:53:07,880
mind.
So if you can hover above the

1084
00:53:07,880 --> 00:53:11,960
pen and observe what's going on,
it gives you a different point

1085
00:53:11,960 --> 00:53:17,040
of view and context than if you
think you're your mind because

1086
00:53:17,040 --> 00:53:20,480
you're not, right?
It's just a tool, right?

1087
00:53:21,080 --> 00:53:23,680
Yeah.
And and that that goes the same

1088
00:53:23,680 --> 00:53:25,600
with the internal language of
how we talk to ourselves,

1089
00:53:25,600 --> 00:53:27,720
because a lot of times people
say, Oh my gosh, look at all

1090
00:53:27,720 --> 00:53:31,760
these resources outside of me.
And they could have amazing

1091
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,560
resources outside of themselves,
but they that really doesn't

1092
00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:36,480
compare with what's called inner
resourcefulness.

1093
00:53:36,760 --> 00:53:40,880
If you can tap into the ability
to upgrade like the dialogue in

1094
00:53:40,880 --> 00:53:45,560
your head, that's more powerful
as a skill that you can pass on

1095
00:53:45,560 --> 00:53:48,200
as a part of your legacy in
addition to a trust or an

1096
00:53:48,200 --> 00:53:52,440
annuity.
Yeah, Yeah, I think it's AI

1097
00:53:52,680 --> 00:53:57,640
think you pointed it out and I
often thought that it was an

1098
00:53:57,920 --> 00:54:01,800
unutilized, I don't want to call
it arrow in the quiver, but an

1099
00:54:01,800 --> 00:54:06,000
unutilized tool because all the
sort of perfunctory tools, the

1100
00:54:06,000 --> 00:54:09,000
trust banky, all that stuff's
easy.

1101
00:54:09,200 --> 00:54:11,800
It's not hard.
It's easy stuff, right?

1102
00:54:12,400 --> 00:54:16,240
When you have to face something
that you that you've buried for

1103
00:54:16,240 --> 00:54:18,800
30 years or 40 years or 50
years, that's hard.

1104
00:54:19,360 --> 00:54:21,680
Yeah, especially if I go back
for a moment, we talked about

1105
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:24,200
trauma when you had said, what
about if there's past trauma?

1106
00:54:24,200 --> 00:54:26,960
I know individuals that let's
say that there was abuse with

1107
00:54:26,960 --> 00:54:30,640
their parents and then they get
to a point where they realize it

1108
00:54:30,640 --> 00:54:35,400
had nothing to do with them and
they can just be free and they

1109
00:54:35,400 --> 00:54:38,080
can just stop that generational
curse or that pattern.

1110
00:54:38,640 --> 00:54:39,840
I'm not saying that the hurt
goes away.

1111
00:54:39,840 --> 00:54:42,200
I'm just saying that if they can
look at it and give it new

1112
00:54:42,200 --> 00:54:44,120
meaning.
Yeah, I have to.

1113
00:54:44,160 --> 00:54:47,600
I brought it up for a reason,
because I've experienced it and

1114
00:54:47,600 --> 00:54:51,520
it's been hugely valuable to me
and many others that I know.

1115
00:54:52,080 --> 00:54:56,320
Plant based medicine have been a
huge benefit to me.

1116
00:54:58,560 --> 00:55:02,160
Not in the context, because a
lot of people still are doing it

1117
00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:05,880
because they want to have.
An accelerated experience.

1118
00:55:06,680 --> 00:55:08,840
Or think they want an
enlightened experience, but they

1119
00:55:08,840 --> 00:55:11,520
just want to get high.
That's still happening, right?

1120
00:55:11,960 --> 00:55:17,840
But with the right counselor in
the right environment and the

1121
00:55:17,840 --> 00:55:22,520
right medicine and the right
experience and the IT has been

1122
00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,640
hugely valuable to me.
Good, good.

1123
00:55:25,840 --> 00:55:27,400
I can't.
I can't even tell you.

1124
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:31,160
It's been math and many, many
other people that I know.

1125
00:55:31,520 --> 00:55:34,240
Yeah, to add to the the list of
tools, there's also essential

1126
00:55:34,240 --> 00:55:37,440
oils if you can get really good
grade, good quality.

1127
00:55:37,440 --> 00:55:39,680
I've got a few case full of them
from Egypt.

1128
00:55:40,240 --> 00:55:43,760
Well, the OK, well, you know,
pink pepper, frankincense, all

1129
00:55:43,760 --> 00:55:46,120
of that stuff.
I think like if if you bring for

1130
00:55:46,120 --> 00:55:47,760
a moment, yeah, I think that
there are things that get

1131
00:55:47,760 --> 00:55:51,640
imprinted and the, the, the goal
is to to break pattern.

1132
00:55:52,040 --> 00:55:54,200
So like, let's say, and I'm just
making this up because I don't

1133
00:55:54,200 --> 00:55:55,840
know you.
OK, let's say that your dad was

1134
00:55:55,840 --> 00:55:58,600
stressed out about work and he
got home and he took that anger

1135
00:55:58,600 --> 00:56:02,400
out on all of the family.
And then you're like, you're

1136
00:56:02,400 --> 00:56:06,480
like you, you personalize it.
And yet if we, if we turn back

1137
00:56:06,480 --> 00:56:08,600
the clock, he was just stressed
out because he was getting

1138
00:56:08,600 --> 00:56:11,600
squeezed financially.
And yet if you carry that on,

1139
00:56:11,800 --> 00:56:14,400
you know, look, I talked about
Santa in the bag of presents.

1140
00:56:14,880 --> 00:56:18,000
It's like that luggage and
you're carrying it because until

1141
00:56:18,000 --> 00:56:21,880
you like break it apart and peel
it like an onion, you know, it's

1142
00:56:21,880 --> 00:56:23,360
like, well, it hurt.
Well, of course it hurt.

1143
00:56:23,520 --> 00:56:25,760
But he was just stressed out.
He just felt inadequate.

1144
00:56:26,440 --> 00:56:28,880
He just felt tiny.
Yeah.

1145
00:56:28,920 --> 00:56:33,560
And and what you've just done is
lifted an imprint that was

1146
00:56:33,560 --> 00:56:37,280
incorrect and you just had to
peel it back and say, wait a

1147
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:39,920
minute, it wasn't nothing to do
with me, correct?

1148
00:56:39,920 --> 00:56:42,040
Right.
Or your siblings or the spouse.

1149
00:56:43,360 --> 00:56:46,840
Yeah, Yeah, I think the world is
a hard place, but I think it's

1150
00:56:46,840 --> 00:56:49,200
harder when you don't have tools
And when I say that the world is

1151
00:56:49,200 --> 00:56:51,360
hard, it's hard because of
inflation, it's hard because

1152
00:56:51,600 --> 00:56:56,160
there's 10,000 plus tax codes.
It's hard because we step out

1153
00:56:56,160 --> 00:56:58,680
our front door and I go, you
know, do I want all this crazy?

1154
00:56:59,040 --> 00:57:01,720
But you can deal with the crazy
if you've got some tools of

1155
00:57:01,720 --> 00:57:04,960
like, OK, you know, I've dealt
with my own crazy, so you're

1156
00:57:04,960 --> 00:57:07,600
crazy is not going to.
Yeah.

1157
00:57:09,520 --> 00:57:11,600
I can regulate my nervous system
in front of you.

1158
00:57:11,640 --> 00:57:14,920
In other words, yeah.
What's, what's the old saying?

1159
00:57:15,480 --> 00:57:19,600
I'm not going to let you let you
live rent free in my head,

1160
00:57:19,600 --> 00:57:22,520
right?
Off with you, right?

1161
00:57:22,720 --> 00:57:23,480
Yeah.
Yeah.

1162
00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:26,080
Super valuable.
Is there anything else I go

1163
00:57:26,120 --> 00:57:28,560
ahead?
I just want you to tell people

1164
00:57:29,640 --> 00:57:33,720
without any specifics unless you
care to share them.

1165
00:57:34,560 --> 00:57:38,320
I mean, is this a $500,000
engagement?

1166
00:57:38,320 --> 00:57:43,760
Is this over a year period?
Is it depending?

1167
00:57:44,240 --> 00:57:46,520
How does this, you know, how do
you get paid?

1168
00:57:46,520 --> 00:57:48,480
How's that all work?
You want me to talk numbers?

1169
00:57:49,360 --> 00:57:51,400
You don't need to talk numbers.
I just want to understand like

1170
00:57:51,400 --> 00:57:55,520
is it OK, it's you know certain
amount to just figure out

1171
00:57:55,520 --> 00:57:58,880
whether I can help you and then
as an ongoing monthly fee, like

1172
00:57:58,880 --> 00:58:00,840
how do you structure it?
Yeah.

1173
00:58:01,040 --> 00:58:02,800
It would be a six or a 12 month
package.

1174
00:58:02,800 --> 00:58:05,880
And then after that it's however
they want to structure it.

1175
00:58:06,760 --> 00:58:09,040
If it's month to month, if they
want to do another six months,

1176
00:58:09,040 --> 00:58:13,120
another 12 months and I get the
money upfront because they're

1177
00:58:13,120 --> 00:58:16,600
committed, it's not going to be
a game of me convincing them.

1178
00:58:16,600 --> 00:58:19,040
It's going to be you show up on
day one and you do the work

1179
00:58:19,040 --> 00:58:21,880
because you want this because
you've got something to lose.

1180
00:58:22,360 --> 00:58:25,920
Yeah, if you don't, you don't.
Yeah, and I do think that it's

1181
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:29,160
interesting today, not only are
things becoming exposed and more

1182
00:58:29,160 --> 00:58:31,640
and more is coming to the
surface, whether again, if it's

1183
00:58:31,800 --> 00:58:34,560
the times you're living in, you
know, I hear all this language

1184
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:36,560
out there that whether it's woo
woo or it's the Book of

1185
00:58:36,560 --> 00:58:38,040
Revelation, it doesn't matter to
me.

1186
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:40,480
I just, you know, you see the
you might not see the wind.

1187
00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,560
You see the effects of the wind.
And so I know that stuff is

1188
00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:46,120
coming up right right now and
people are at a place in their

1189
00:58:46,120 --> 00:58:49,360
consciousness whether they can
choose, but it's not stopping.

1190
00:58:49,480 --> 00:58:52,080
In other words, more is going to
be coming up to the surface.

1191
00:58:52,080 --> 00:58:55,280
And as we know in in today's day
and age, it's coming faster and

1192
00:58:55,280 --> 00:58:59,000
it's coming more complex.
And so I think to do the inner

1193
00:58:59,000 --> 00:59:02,080
work is one of the best
investments that anybody can

1194
00:59:02,080 --> 00:59:05,560
make because again, once they
step out that front door, it's,

1195
00:59:06,920 --> 00:59:10,400
you know, the world's going to
be throwing, you know, throwing

1196
00:59:10,400 --> 00:59:12,720
itself at at you.
And, and if, especially if

1197
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,600
you're running in a family
business or whatever is in front

1198
00:59:15,600 --> 00:59:18,800
of you, better get your own
stuff straight so that all the

1199
00:59:18,800 --> 00:59:21,960
other stuff is less painful or
someone can just medicate, you

1200
00:59:21,960 --> 00:59:25,280
know, it's up to them.
Yeah, medication is just most of

1201
00:59:25,280 --> 00:59:28,280
the time just covering up a
problem, so you don't really

1202
00:59:28,280 --> 00:59:31,560
know what's going on.
Well, it's avoidance and at some

1203
00:59:31,560 --> 00:59:34,440
point you might want to solve it
because it's not that scary.

1204
00:59:34,440 --> 00:59:37,880
You just, you just bring the
problem up and yet you tackle

1205
00:59:37,880 --> 00:59:40,680
it.
Totally, totally agree.

1206
00:59:41,480 --> 00:59:43,960
Well, I've really enjoyed this.
Thank you, Angelina.

1207
00:59:44,360 --> 00:59:49,000
It's been super to talk to you.
Yeah, Really, really appreciate

1208
00:59:49,000 --> 00:59:51,800
what you're doing.
Like I said, it was it was

1209
00:59:52,240 --> 00:59:53,160
offline.
I told you.

1210
00:59:53,160 --> 00:59:57,000
Is that like when I heard from
you, I knew that this would be

1211
00:59:57,000 --> 01:00:00,120
interesting to the audience, but
more importantly, I'd be

1212
01:00:00,120 --> 01:00:02,200
interested in talking to you
about it, which I'm glad we

1213
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:05,560
have.
Thank you for making it so easy.

1214
01:00:06,880 --> 01:00:08,560
You're very welcome.
It's my pleasure.

1215
01:00:08,880 --> 01:00:11,880
So we'll make sure this gets out
to everybody and you get a copy

1216
01:00:11,880 --> 01:00:15,760
and share it as you as you wish.
So and maybe we can do it again

1217
01:00:15,760 --> 01:00:17,440
in a few months.
That would be nice.

1218
01:00:17,840 --> 01:00:19,760
That would be lovely and thank
you to Ben Ulrich for the

1219
01:00:19,800 --> 01:00:22,320
introduction.
Yes.

1220
01:00:22,600 --> 01:00:25,920
And yes, big heads up there.
Appreciate it.

1221
01:00:26,240 --> 01:00:28,120
Shout out to Ben.
Thanks.

1222
01:00:28,440 --> 01:00:30,960
OK, Thank you everybody for
joining us today.

1223
01:00:31,160 --> 01:00:34,160
Till next time, thank you for
sharing with us the only thing

1224
01:00:34,160 --> 01:00:35,800
you can't make more of, and
that's your time.

1225
01:00:36,480 --> 01:00:37,880
Thank you, my Angelina.