Unlearn. Reclaim. Lead. | Stop Waiting for Permission to Be Seen ft. Gia Warren

Hello, hello, and welcome back to Women of Color Live, the live version of Women of Color in Intimate Conversation, a top 20 women's empowerment podcast.But wait a minute.We I just learned last night that we've moved from number 19 to number 16 on that list.So I am proud of that.Yes, yes.Okay.So on Women of Color, we center and empower, guess who?Women of Color.Absolutely.So we're here wherever here is for you every Thursday at one p.m.Eastern.And if you miss it, no worries.Catch the replay.Catch the replay on YouTube, through LinkedIn, and also on your favorite podcast platform.So before I welcome today's guest, I want to shout out the Leon Thomas Group, who is our production team.And I am so lucky today because I have none other than Leon Thomas himself on the ones and twos.Thank you for being here, Leon.All right, so let's get into today's guest.Today's guest is Gia Warren.Gia is a senior operations manager.She has an MBA, and she's also the grants manager for the Dream Lifestyle Collective.That's right.She is a part of the collective, and we are so happy to have her.She's the first guest, first person to sign up, rather, for the collective, and she jumped in.pulled up her sleeves and got to work.And she also was with me in Vegas at the Women of Power Summit, which we're going to talk about shortly.So Gia is a woman passionate about driving operational excellence and helping women find their pathway to success.Gia, welcome to Women of Color Live.thank you deneem for having me it's a pleasure to be here yeah absolutely okay so g and i we go way back you know we go way back i don't know what the saying is like i don't know uh a car on flats i don't know whatever they say we go back uh we've known each other for over ten years we both retired from the same company and that's where we first got connectedGia, I was reflecting last night how on our internal social media, we were connected, I think, a while before we even ever connected, connected and then meeting in person.And ever since then, Gia and I have pretty much been locked in.So thank you, sis, for being on the journey, saying yes, always having my back and cheering me along.I so appreciate you.Thank you, Deneen.You make it easy because you're doing some awful things, some awesome things.You're also empowering other women and you're also helping them to bring out qualities that they didn't know that they had.inside.So that's always a wonderful thing when we can help each other.Oh, thank you so much.Thank you so much.So like I said, we're going to talk a bit about the Women of Power Summit, which we just returned from.Here is each of us in our bag.We received this magazine.They celebrated 20 years for those that didn't know.And let me tell you, it wasIt was apparent that they have been doing this for 20 years.I love how they shouted out the matriarch, Barbara Graves, who the mother of the current CEO.Butch Graves and how, 20 years ago, she told her husband, we need to have this thing for black women.And this thing has been going on for 20 years.And it's just wonderful to be a part of it.And so for me, it was my third time.And it was your first time.So tell us a little bit about your first time experience.So the name first, I would like to thank you for allowing me to attend because it's always empowering to be in the roomwith Black women who are courageous and smart and who look to sow into you.The best thing to me about that conference was all the tools that I gained to go in my toolkit so that I can help others.i love that gia so uh do you think you'll make it next year i hope so i know i know it's exciting so it is happening again next year and um i believe it's march ten through 13 so mark it on your calendars y'all so for me i was excited to go and connect and reconnect with several women and i did have the pleasure ofDoing so with half of those that were on my list.What were you looking forward to experiencing, Gia?So for my experience, these women have achieved the highest levels ofof their careers.And so for me to be in the room with them, to be able to ask questions, as one of the panelists, I can't remember which one, I have it in my notes, but one of them so graciously put that when you're in rooms like this and you're able to ask questions, you can save yourself ten years of your life.And so that's what I look to do as a mentor.I feel as though I've made the mistakes already so that other women don't have to repeat those same mistakes.Yeah, I love that.And so that is part of what we're going to talk about, what the whole conversation really is about.So unlearn.reclaim and lead.And we'll get into that a little bit more.But, you know, the conversation that we're having about the summit itself is really speaking to that and it's addressing that because Gia is so right.When you're in rooms like that with women who are where you want to be, where you aspire to be or where you just admire them for being there, you learn so much and there's so much that you can take away.And it does save a lot of years andyou know time it saves headaches and a lot of you know mistakes if you kind of follow some of the things that they're doing so I who I did reconnect with Sid Marshall so G and I you know we know Sid again we go back with Sid Gia was with me when I first met Sid in person and meeting her in personled to me being promoted to my dream job which I loved loved loved it you know it was a dream job it was my dream career for probably like my last 5 or 6 years with a company which this podcast actually grew out of that um one of the segments that I had there was an annual conference and soThis began as a panel.So I tell people from panel to podcast.Now the production is how I describe the women of color in intimate conversation podcast experience.By the way, if you are watching and you are part of the dream lifestyle collective, drop dreamer.If you are a family member, drop a heart.And all others drop WOC.We want to know you're out there, that you're watching, that you're supporting us.And again, come back every week because we'll be here.So Scent was one of the ones that I wanted to reconnect with.And I did.And I also met her niece as well and supported her.So check out Janelle's closet.She sells earrings and things.So these are my earrings that I picked up.and i want to shout out you know my experience because again that's what it's about it's about us empowering one another so whenever you have an opportunity to lift up a another black woman make sure you do that another black woman another woman of color just support people and lift them up use whatever platform you have to lift them upSo I also wanted to meet Joteka Edie, which I did.And I was able to share that I was one of the 44000.So to meet her in person was a wonderful experience because she is doing so much, so much.She isShe's remarkable.And again, to meet her in person and to see how humble she truly is, is a beautiful thing.She also gave people their flowers.And then Roz Brewer.I've been trying to meet Roz for a while.I actually tried to hire her when I was still at AT&T as a speaker and it didn't happen.It didn't happen.because the folks didn't get to her team, which is okay.And then it was just so cool how at the Women of Power Summit, not only did I meet her, but I actually was also at a private dinner with her the next night, thanks to Walmart.So shouting out Walmart because they are great friends of mine, if you will.And let's see, also Boz.So she was another one that was on my list to meet.And I met her and we were able to see her inducted into the Hall of Fame.So those were some great experiences for me.So, Deneen, I love that for you because being in those rooms and being in the role that I'm in, the level of transparency, that is what I appreciated most because they talked about some scenarios that I've experienced.again, I can handle them.in a different way.And they also talked about some of their experiences that I have not had an opportunity to have.But if I have those experiences, I will be prepared.And that's one of the big things for me as a mentor, a coach, as a sponsor, is just to make sure people are prepared.Because when you experience adversity, if you're prepared, it's just not as shocking.to you and you can just go in your toolkit and and pull out those tools or also you can reach out to that mentor or that coach or leader or sponsor and say here's what i am experiencing or here's what's happening do you have any suggestions or recommendations on on how i can handle it and that makes all the differenceYeah, absolutely.And I'm so excited.I am just beyond thrilled.Leon was trying to get some insights before we went live.I'm like, stay tuned because we're going to talk about it.But I am so energized.I don't know if it's because of where I'm at.My headspace and where I am in life or whatnot or and or it was just because they did such an amazing job with their 20th anniversary.I think it was all of those things.Right.But I am I just feel so very hopeful.And when I mentioned earlier about me and you.being together when we met CENT, it was almost like a full circle moment because we were together again here.We weren't physically together when I did run back into CENT, but we were still in the space, right?And I feel that that energy is, I don't know, it means something, right?I'm one of those ones, I believe that things happen for a reason and that good things are to come.I'm just excited and looking forward to what is to come.So have you reached out to any of the people that you met?Cause I know you were, you were, you know, getting to know people and connecting.Have you reached out to anybody?I haven't, but I am going to this week and I agree with you.I feel so energized.I feel so prepared.I feel as though whatever comes my way, I will be able to handle it.It is just amazing.As you said, it is I am at an all time high because the level of information that I receive, the connections.So I'm going to make sure to follow up and follow through on those connections this week.Absolutely.And so that's key as well.When you're in rooms, when you're in spaces, when you're meeting people, make sure you follow up.Right.first step is to be in those rooms at the table to meet the folks.But then you also have to follow up to keep those connections and relationships going.So I've said connections a number of times and connections also means connections.relationships, which is key.They talk a lot about relationships at the summit.I posted about relationships yesterday.I've always looked at myself as a relationship builder, and I do distinguish that from a networker.I'm not so much about networking because for me, how I view networking is for a specific purpose.purpose or like transactional.And for me, it's beyond that, right?I want a relationship with people.I don't want it to be like, okay, I scratch your back, you scratch mine.No, I want it to be like we're scratching on going each other's back and we want to use that analogy.So again,You know, meet the person, follow up with the person and keep the relationship going.You know, maybe monthly reach out, you know, share something that, you know, you learn that is of interest of that person and follow up.And so because this podcast is about empowering women of color, we want to make sure that we're leaving tools that we're sharing things and in specifics and action items and things for you to do.That can help you with where it is that you're planning to go in life.So now let's kind of get into the theme of March.So my March theme has been the permission path.And so, Gia, who were you before the NBA, before operations and before grants?And what was the decision that shifted how you saw yourself as someone built to lead?I think for me, Deneen, I was trying to figure it out, but I was always in rooms where they saw these leadership capabilities within me.So they kind of helped me figure it out.And so leadership for me started as early as elementary school.I was the captain of the cheerleader squad.Then in high school, I was the captain coach.of the flat girl team then in college i was in student government as the black student liaison and so unknowingly i have always been a mentor who's been mentoredOK.All right.That's a word.A mentor who's been mentored.And you know what?You mentioned leadership at such an early age.And so that's something that I want those who are watching or listening to pay attention to.Like you have skills from way back in the day, from very beginning.So don't dismiss that.Right.And even think about it like, Gia, you just talked about middle school.Right.And so, you know, I know middle school wasn't that but it kind of was.and so you still have those skills and you're able to say hey i've had these skills and they go as far back as that and that's what i want you all to know about yourself as well you have skills right i think people sometimes when they when they're thinking about the skills that they have their experiencesThey're always looking at what they did in a specific job.It goes beyond that.It goes.What did you do as a volunteer?What do you do at church?What do you do in your sorority?What do you do in other aspects of your life?And what did you do in middle school?Because those things are experiences that you've had.And when you are.you know having an interview or filling something out and speaking to experience and skills and things like that as long as you're able to provide specifics share that information even though it goes back to uh middle school um because it counts it makes a difference it's part of who you are and it's gotten you to where you are todaySo what did you have to unlearn as a woman driving operational excellence?And how has that changed how you define success and visibility now?I am so glad you asked that question.That is a great question.And so what I had to unlearn is that everyone is not like me.Say that again.Everyone is not like me.Okay.What does that mean?I had to unlearn that.We're all different.diverse and unique in skills and qualities.And all those skills are important.And so it is a, I would say, mantra of mine to have diverse friends, to have diverse leaderships.And it also is important to me that I learn from my mentors and mentees.I have an awesome menteeum that i'm mentoring right now and she's very highly technical so i learned so much from her just as much as she learned from from me and that goes back to that theme that we kind of heard at the conference is make sure you are making a lot of deposits before you ask for that withdrawalYes.Yes.And you know what?Let's let's let's park here for a moment.So Carla Harris is one of the persons who I did want to reconnect with and and didn't have the opportunity to do so.But she has written numerous books and she talks about in her books how you do you deposit.She says that.7 times before you withdraw.And so that's what she's kind of stuck with.So, Gia, that's what you're talking about right now.Share a little bit more about like why, why, why deposit before we ask for something?Because it goes back to what you mentioned earlier about building relationships versus it being transactional.And so if I meet you, Deneen, and I want to start a podcast, that should not be our very first conversation about, can you help me start a podcast?It's getting to know Deneen.What made Deneen who she is?How did, what steps did Deneen take to get to building a podcast?So it's a building block.It's the steps that go along with that.And that's how you build the relationship because building the relationship versus being transactional, having that relationship is going to benefit you much more than just those transactions.Absolutely.Absolutely.And so that's why I'm big on relationships, right?Because it is about us being in community with one another, which is another reason why I, you know, built the Dream Lifestyle Collective.It's a community for Black women,It's space for us to come together, support one another, lean on one another, learn from one another, deposit into, and yes, absolutely withdraw from as well.It's about us being together and supporting one another.So everything that you're saying is what we strive to make happen in the Dream Lifestyle Collective.Can a mentor be someone that you don't know and never meet?I believe a mentor can be someone that you don't know or you never met.For example, on LinkedIn every day, I do a quote of the day.Most of those people I've never met, but I look up to them.I believe in their philosophies and things that they have written about or some of their life experiences have helped me along my journey.Yeah, absolutely.And that's another thing that I want you all who are watching or listening.A mentor does not have to be any type of formal relationship.It can be somebody that you see on social media, could be someone that, you know, they're doing some things that you want to do and you admire it and you learn from them.They're mentoring you just by existing.Just same way with you.You're mentoring others just by being you.So make sure you are you make sure that you are your authentic self.Something else I want to say about about, let's say, the relationships are before we take a break.One more question before we take a break.But what I want to say is there are times where, yes, it is transactional and it's OK.You just have to decide what do you want from that individual?Are you wanting just this transaction or are you wanting something long term?And when you know the answer of that, that kind of dictates.You know, whether it's a one and done, whether you just hit right off like, OK, this is what I want from you or whether you build it up by building a relationship.So the question I want to ask before break is you're passionate about helping women find their pathway to success.So what separates the women who find it from the women who don't?And what do you wish more women understood before they start looking?So to answer the first question is trust.and believe in yourself and surround yourself with cheerleaders.One of the things that my circle, and you mentioned it earlier, Denise, will tell you about me is I am the biggest cheerleader, supporter in the squad.It is very important to have people that believe in you, right?It is very important to not have naysayers, to people who say, you can do it.You can do it.Because mentors can be wrong, too.We learned that at the conferences as well.And so if you're passionate about something and you believe in it, I think you should go for it.I agree.One hundred percent.And so is that like one of the things you wish that women understood more to just go for that thing that they want?Yes, I believe they should understand that.And they also should understand that mentors can be wrong because nobody knows really what's inside of you.And so that's why it's important to have your squad, your circle of trust, the people who are around you the most to cheer you on and believe in you and be encouraging.And that's another thing that I would likewomen to understand too.If someone's not encouraging you, maybe that's someone that you don't want to have on your squad or in your circle because we never know.You know, Deneen, when we first met, I believed in you.I didn't see this, but I'm so proud of you for doing this.But I knew you could do it.I knew it was within you.And so that's the thing is when you come up with an idea, you want to make sure that you have people around you that's going to encourage you minimally to at least try that.Right.Right.Just to try whatever that thing is that you want just to try it.And that is something key.So people will play different roles in your lives.Right.And that's fine.Like you said earlier, Gia, about, you know, everybody is not like me.And you have to understand that everybody is not going to be the same.They're not going to play the same role.And honestly, you don't want them to.you do want them to play different roles.And so whether you call it your circle, your squad, your board of directors, you want that sisterhood, right?Men included as well, because you do want different people and you do want people who don't look like you as well, right?That just increases the value of your,circle your board of directors whatever you want to call it by having different people so whatever makes them different you definitely want to tap into that so we will be back after this breakI'm Leon Thomas with the Leon Thomas Group.Podcasts, virtual events, webinars, streaming shows, and so much more.We want to be your partner in all things virtual.All right, welcome back to Women of Color Live.We're talking with Gia Warren about unlearn, reclaim, and lead.So Gia, a lot of what we talked about, we talked about unlearning.I don't know if we quite talked about reclaiming, yet we did talk about leading.So let's talk about what do we need to reclaim?What are you reclaiming?What I am reclaiming is my strength and my beliefin others.I think what kind of goes along with that when you're speaking about helping others, you also want to recognize when it's time to maybe no longer be in that relationship.Because a big thing about, you may want help, but you may not be coachable.and you have to understand that feedback is a gift and so sometimes it's hard to let those relationships go and so that's sometimes your superpower is knowing when to let those relationships goYeah.And you know what?Those relationships could be a friendship.It could be an intimate relationship.It also could be something that you're involved in.And so for me, I did that about a week or so ago.I was in relationship.I was on a board.The board was no longer serving me.And Gia knows this about me.I'm the type of person that if I'm involved, I'm involved.Right.And I'm active and I like to get it done.I like to help.I like to help it to grow.Right.And that just was not happening.It didn't matter how many times I raised my hand, just nothing was moving.And so I made the decision, hey, I'm stepping down and feel so much better, right?Because when we let go of things that are no longer serving us, again, whether it's a person, a thing, a situation, it makes room for what it is that we're supposed to have in our lives at this time.And I truly believe in that.But it's like you said, it's hard.It'sgetting past the like, oh, my God, you know, like, well, what if like, well, what if I stay another week and then maybe things will get better?Well, things haven't gotten better in almost 2 years, so they're not likely to get better tomorrow.So that's something for you to keep in mind and consider when you are reclaiming your strength, your courage and other things.So, Gia, what are your thoughts on that?Like, do you have a what specific situation do you have for us?Well, it may be cliche, but, you knowreclaiming your time.That went viral so many years ago because time is one of the assets that you can't get back.And so you have to be intentional about what you do with your time.That was one of the other themes at the conference is that time is a very valuable asset.And so being intentional about your time is extremely important.So you have to draw that line because I love to help people, but wanting to help peopleAnd surrounding yourself with the people who really want to help and value the time and put to use the things that you're sowing into them is also extremely important.Yeah.And you know what?And that absolutely, you know, the time.And so what are some of the things that come to mind when you're making the decision whether or not you're going to give time to something?Is the person showing up?Yeah.So are they showing up prepared?Is the meeting interactive?Because you shouldn't just be listening to me talk.I shouldn't just be listening to you talk.It should be an exchange of ideas.It should be an exchange of information.And then also, is there progress being made?Because that's extremely important when you're giving of your time.If a person isn't making progress, maybe this is not a good situation forI love that piece, right?I love that you say that because often we are mentoring others.We're giving up our time of other people.And it's the same thing.You're telling them the same thing over and over and over again.And I've been in that.It was years ago.And I'm like, good Lord, you aren't wasting my time if I'm telling you the same thing.Because really, honestly, what you could do is just record this and just play it back in a week or so, as opposed to me taking my timeto have a conversation with you and really just regurgitating the same thing.So respect people's time.Know that like if you're not at a place, which is fine.Let me just say that it's fine if you're not ready.But be honest about the situation, because when people are pouring into you, when they are taking time to spend with you.It's taking them away from something else.So don't waste people's time if you're not ready and you have to know when you're ready.And when someone says, you know what?You know, I think we've gotten to as far as we can go or timing situations, whatever, and they end it.Respect that because they're saving you and they're saving themselves from time wasting and or for you to like now.Wow.OK, maybe let me really take time to go over and think about the things that this person has poured into me and take action.Because the action is going to get you to whatever it is, wherever you're trying to go.I'm so glad you said that, Deneen, because there's also a compatibility factor there when you're in a mentor, mentee, or sponsors.Like, I have some sponsors as well.And there's a compatibility aspect to that.And one of the things, you know, going back to the 7 deposits before you make a withdrawal,I always make sure that I'm pouring into my mentors because I appreciate the time that they are giving to me.I know they're very busy.And so for them to take time to make sure that I'm on the right path, to make sure I'm on the right track.I always want to come prepared.And that seems to be a going theme with my mentors is that they are very proud of the progress that they've seen me make.Yeah.And you know what?That preparation is very key.And they did talk about that at the summit as well.So when you're having a session with a mentee, tell us the preferred way you want that individual to show up.What does preparation look like?Well, what I like to do is find out what are their goals and what would they like to focus on?And one of the other common things which I think was very important the conference is that you don't make the decision, but you can give them some guidance towardthe decision because at the end of the day, it's important for them to gain that skill or hone that skill or enhance that skill and get better at that skill because that's one of the things that would make them very successfulin life.So I like to start out with what are your goals?What are you looking to achieve?How do you like this relationship to look?What are you looking for from me?Because those things are very important and that can help you determine how to move that relationship forward or if you want to remove.if you want to move that relationship forward.Yeah, yeah.So again, if you are watching, for those who are watching, rather, and you are part of the Dream Lifestyle Collective, drop Dreamer.If you are a family member, drop a heart.And for all others, drop WOC.We want to know that you're out there.So Gia, for the woman watching who feels a pull towards more, what permission do you give her?Go for it.And it's part of our earlier conversation.Build your squad, build your team, build your circle of trust that will give you permission to go for it, that will cheer for you, that will encourage you to go for it.Because you can still go for it, but it's very hard to go for it if you have a bunch of naysayers around you orback to our childhood days from Winnie the Pooh, Eeyores, or, you know, the Debbie Downers, or the Dream Killers, the Fun Snatchers, the Fun Police.Those are not people that you want on your squad.You want people that are encouraging.And I've always been in an environment that's been very encouraging from my family.I believe my dad was my first formal mentor because he was in a leadership roleAnd so when I first was promoted into management, one of the great pieces of advice he gave me is just always be subtle when you make changes.You just be subtle.You don't go into your first day.You observe and you listen and you be a sponge when you're new toenvironment because you'll learn more from listening.And then I came from a church that was very big on mentoring and coaching andum development we had cotillions we had sessions um about how to wear your makeup at work how to dress um for your career we had sessions about um the proper way umTo have conversations at dinners and lunches and all of those things.So I've been very fortunate to be in environments at the company where you and I met.There is this whole group of women who always encouraged me and who I could get advice advice from.So I always just wanted to be that to others.I love that.I love that.So you said just go for it.Your experience or church, a lot of etiquette lessons and experiences and being that for other people.So you don't wait for permission.You become it.And when you become it, everything rises to meet you.That's the dream lifestyle collective.So Gia, before we wrap up, what would you like to leave those watching or listening with?What I would like to leave those watching and listening with is if you admire someone or if you would like to meet someone, I would say just put yourself out there.And if you have goals and dreams, I would say go for it because you never know how that's going to end up.But if you don't go for it,you'll never have the answer to that.Absolutely.And Gia, if I didn't just Nike it and go forward by launching this podcast, we would not be talking right now and I would not be celebrating 6 years on April 10.Right.would not have gone from number 19 to number 16 on top one hundred best women's empowerment podcast list.So that's right.Go forproud of you.I just say that I'm so proud of you.Very proud of you.Go for it.Yeah.And your growth.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.Thank you.And so risk is something that they talked about at the summit as well.And so, yeah, go for that thing.So thank you for watching Women of Color Live.It's the live version of the Women of Color in Intimate Conversation, a top 20 women's empowerment podcast.We're here live every Thursday at one p.m.Eastern.You can always catch the replay and or listen on your favorite podcast platform.I want to thank my girl, Gia Warren, and shout out again to the Leon Thomas Group for production.Now, if this resonated with you, share it with a woman who's preparing to step into bigger rooms and deserves to be positioned, not overlooked.And if you're ready to expand with intention and community, stay connected.We're building something lasting.Until next week.