The Power of Self-Discovery and Growth: Blazing Trails to Success with Valincia Bennett

Deneen L. Garrett: 00:02 00:09 This week's guest is business coach and strategist for coaches, Valencia Bennett. Valencia, tell us more about you.
Valincia Bennett: 00:09 00:37 Hi, I am so happy to be here. I am a business coach and strategist for coaches. I work directly with coaches to help them simplify their systems and strategies. So it's easy for them to achieve consistent 10K plus months. And I tell people that's my online business. I have four other businesses. outside of this online business. But yes, we'll probably get into that a little bit later in the episode.

Deneen L. Garrett: 00:37 00:56 Awesome. Awesome. So you're described as the trailblazing business enthusiast who, against childhood dreams of being a corporate lawyer, took a bold leap into the dynamic world of entrepreneurship. And you actually left a 10-year career in health care to pursue coaching full time. What inspired that?

Valincia Bennett: 00:58 04:13 You know what? It was, there was moments when I was working in corporate and I knew that my next position would be like, I could become the president of a hospital. And at first I was excited about that. You know, I was excited about climbing the corporate ladder. And then there was a moment I wasn't, there was a moment when I was like, I don't want to do this. But in essence, I never took the opportunity to really consider my options, because you just go with the flow. You go with what you think you're supposed to be doing versus what you really want to do. And my lovely husband, he started to question that. He's like, Valencia, what is it that you want to do? I'm like, I don't know. I don't know. What? I don't know what I'm supposed to do. And so when the pandemic happened, Well, back up a little bit prior to the pandemic, I started looking for other jobs, but every time I would go on Indeed, no job stood out to me. I'm like, how's, why am I not wanting to apply to any jobs? That's weird. And so I was praying. I'm like, Lord, please give me some clarity. Help me figure this out. I don't know what in the world I'm supposed to be doing. So fast forward and the pandemic happens. And I am at home for the first time ever, like at home working from home, first time ever in my life. And my husband always had a very flexible work schedule. Whereas me, I'm like, I'm working 12, 13 plus hour days. That was normal for me. And then on the weekend I'm working. And so here he comes, he's just kind of walking around like, I'll be back. I'm like, where are you going? Where are you going? He's like, I'm going to Home Depot. I'm like, oh, okay. Middle of the day, that's kind of awesome. Right. And so he started to show me, like, I started to really see a different life. I'm like, this isn't normal. And I was used to it because my mother was a single mother. She worked three jobs. So I was used to seeing a woman always working. Yeah. So that was my idea of reality. And so when the pandemic happened, I had opportunity to work from home. I'm like, this is kind of nice. I don't have people knocking on my door. I'm not running around the hospital like a crazy person. And honestly, in that moment, God spoke to me and he told me December 31st, 2020 is your last day. And when he told me that, I did not question it. I didn't think about it twice. I said, you know what? Got it. Noted. Told my husband not too long after that. I'm like, honey, that's it. December 31st. God told me I'm out of there. I'm done. I got to figure something else out. Um, and so I started to explore other options and that's when I decided that it was time to be a full-time entrepreneur and coaching is what started to call me. And I led into the coaching space and wanted to help people with their businesses. Because even while I was working, I had my husband and I had side businesses, but it was nothing like. It was fun stuff, things I enjoyed, but there was something I felt like I wanted to do more, like created a bigger impact. And coaching is what really fills that cup for me.

Deneen L. Garrett: 04:13 04:48 Okay. So it's a couple of things I want to kind of pull out and I'll kind of work from here back. So you mentioned seeing your mom work. And so I want to kind of talk about that because you had an idea of what work looks like. Right. And if it didn't look like that, then you didn't see it as work. Right. Which so many people. So let's kind of talk about that a little bit. Have you explored that? Have you like pull back the layers and say, well, just because a person is not working three jobs or they're not constantly going in and out, that they still could be working.

Valincia Bennett: 04:49 05:59 Yeah, I did. Like when I made that initial transition, like I tell people there's a serious shift that happens when you become, when you go from employee to employer, right. Or employee to CEO, you have to start assessing, is this normal? Like it starts to feel weird to you because it's not what you were used to. And so there was a lot of self-discovery and a lot of self-awareness I had to go through during those moments to realize like, Valencia, you don't have to work 12, 13 hour days for you to feel productive. Right. Right. Once you don't go ahead. Oh, no, no, no. Oh yeah. I was going to say, no, it was just a lot of self-talk, a lot of direction of there's more to life than working. You can work and enjoy work, but you don't have to be working all the time. You can have that disconnect. And so there's a lot of cool little things that I've put in the place to make sure that I don't go that way because I am a recovering workaholic. So I have to always make sure like, okay, Valencia, step away, step away, step away from the computer.

Deneen L. Garrett: 05:59 06:29 Yeah, no, I love that. And so really what what that is, is what I've been having conversations. the past week or two about those limiting beliefs, right? You had a belief around what work looked like, and then you found out that work can look so many different ways. And so now you're leaning into that work and you're leaning into that for yourself as an entrepreneur. And then so now when you were in the health care industry, were you a lawyer or what were you doing?

Valincia Bennett: 06:30 06:50 No. So in healthcare, I was a business director in the healthcare industry. So I was a business director for about 10 years. And of course there were positions that I moved up in during that time, but that was just like the overall gist of my career in healthcare was always the business and operations of healthcare.

Deneen L. Garrett: 06:50 07:00 Okay. And then obviously you leveraged all of that in your business and that has also been like the foundation for you to help other business owners as a, as a coach.

Valincia Bennett: 07:00 07:54 Yes. Yeah. And having the four other businesses, right? Like there was things that my husband and I dabbled in. Like we had our businesses as I was working, but I never looked at it as, Oh, I can do this full time, which is weird. Cause I don't know why I didn't. I always thought that security was in a corporate job, right? Cause sometimes you're told that to get a good job and you know, that's what you need. And so the idea of cause in business revenue goes up and down, right? And that was one of those things I was like, okay, I don't want my revenue. I want my consistent paycheck. And when I realized like you can create your own consistency, it's just all about your actions. What are you doing to create that consistency in your world? You have to do it. And if you do it and you do it well, then you're, I mean, you're pretty much creating that security for yourself that you thought you had in the job.

Deneen L. Garrett: 07:54 08:56 Correct. And not only that, when you're in like corporate settings, you have a cap, if you will, right? You know that, okay, I'm gonna get this amount. And, you know, each time I get paid at the end of the year, I may or may not get this bonus, et cetera, et cetera. And the only way to really get more money is to get promoted, blah, blah, blah. But when you own your own, you can come up with different ways, do different things to go ahead and earn your money. And that's something that, so I talk a lot about Rachel Rogers, and she wrote the book, We Should All Be Millionaires. And Rachel, one of the things that I learned from her and it helped shift to ground me more in a growth mindset is that I think about that dream life. How much does it cost? And OK, what are you going to do to get it? As opposed to, oh, let me not get a latte this week. Right. And save those few pennies when you actually can go out and do things to make thousands. Right. And to bring in that additional revenue, which you probably know a lot about, because I understand you achieve financial freedom by 30.

Valincia Bennett: 08:58 11:23 Yes. I know. It's like when people say that, I'm like, Oh my goodness. It's still so surreal. You know, just coming from a household of a single mother working three jobs and then to be in this situation, like this, this amazing place that my husband and I are in financially, I'm like, how in the world did you do this? But it was, it was those getting away from those limiting beliefs, going out and creating opportunities. not being limited by our past, but knowing that we are responsible and creating our future. And we knew that at a very young age. I tell people I bought my first house when I was 21. That was like my first investment. Graduated from college in May, bought a house in November. Love it. Right. And so that was the first investment. We fixed it up. We flipped it. And I tell people, my husband and I were like the black Chip and Joanna Gaines. We fix homes, sell them, make really good profits that way. And then we have other means of income. But I was doing that while working. So even on the weekends, we would go and flip our homes and sell them. So truly, and I love Rachel's and Roger's take on that, it's like, Figure out what it is that you need to make and make it happen so that you don't have to always kind of do the penny pinching piece. I am very frugal when it comes to money, but my husband and I, we follow, I call it the no budget method. And what that is, is that we are very aware of our expenses and our revenue, but we go towards our financial goals. So let's say if our goal is to save a hundred thousand, or if the goal is to invest in stocks, whatever it is, we make sure our expenses are paid and then we contribute to our goals and whatever money we have left over, we live. Yeah. So we are not on the rice and beans diet. Like I understand what Dave Ramsey, why he says that. Cause some people need that type of that, those boundaries. But for us, we're like, Nope. Once we, we contribute to our goals, we pay our expenses. We get to do whatever we want. We go out to eat when we want. We travel when we want. We still enjoy life while we'll continue to build that financial freedom. Yes. And we did it even during that time.

Deneen L. Garrett: 11:23 11:51 Yeah. And to me, that's what, you know, living a dream life is about, which we'll, we'll come back to that. So this podcast, women of color and intimate conversation is about empowering women of color and elevating their voices. So thinking about the strategies that you use to become financially free and or the strategies that you coach your clients to use, what three actions can women of color take to tap into their power and voice?

Valincia Bennett: 11:51 13:36 Oh, that's a good one. So the first thing, I mean, I'm just going off of personal experience and what I kind of tell my clients, right? And the first thing is self-discovery. Right. I think a lot of us just go with emotion. We just go with what we are supposed to do versus what we really want to do. And so taking the time to really stop and assess what is it that I want? What do I want my life to look like? That is just the beginning. The second thing is now developing a plan to get there. And that is figuring out what is it that I need to do? Tomorrow, the next day and the next day to make this my new reality. Because having a plan allows you to stick to it and you can even have people to hold you accountable. And then the third thing is I'm going to say, seek help. Get somebody to help you because that will help expedite your experience and the things that you want way faster than you're trying to do it alone. I think about it all the time. I'm like, I wish I knew really about career coaches when I was in my career. I didn't really know about career coaches until after. I'm like, but if I knew about them while I was in my career, I probably would have maybe found a career path I enjoyed a little bit more. I still feel like I would have ended up where I am today because I just love what I do. But I feel like I would have just had someone to give me more guidance and more direction because we are limited by what we know. And so being able to tap into other people's knowledge and experiences allow us to really expand our mind and realize like, Oh, this is possible. What this is real. This can happen. And then you're able to make it happen with that support of that person.

Deneen L. Garrett: 13:36 14:21 Yeah, absolutely. And, you know, you kind of talked before about seeing your husband in the middle of the day, leave the house and going to Home Depot and you're like, well, where they do that working and here you are, you know, going out and leisure. And so you saw. a different way, again, of working or of being, right? And so when you were talking about that, I was kind of thinking about how as Black women and other women of color, we do a lot and we do, often we do too much. Let's just keep it real. And we don't always prioritize ourselves and self-care. So let's talk about the importance of taking time for ourselves and the power in the pause.

Valincia Bennett: 14:21 16:23 I love the pause. And I have, look, I have intentionally scheduled the pause in my life. Um, truly. So every day, like I am a nap taker. So probably around, like, I know when my energy starts to drain. So around like one, two o'clock ish throughout the day is when I'm like, okay, it's time for me to go take a nap. And so I'll take like a 30 minutes, an hour nap in the middle of my day. I love it because it really recharges me, rejuvenates me so that I can, one, finish whatever work I need to do, and two, being able to go and do the work from the household. So that's me cooking, cleaning, whatever it is that I need to do. It's kind of like I've taken that intentional pause in my day to just, I tell people that's my form of meditation, taking a nap. That's so powerful. I love that. And then the next thing I do, I have to call it free flow Friday. Okay. So every Friday I have nothing on my schedule unless it's planned, but it's intentional to be a part of the free, free flow Friday. Um, and on Fridays I just get up and I'm like, what am I doing today? And that's when I might go get my nails done. I might go to the spa. I might go. look for stuff for the house. I just really get out and explore. And some days I don't know, I just get in the car and go. I call my mother, whoever, my friends, whoever I can while I'm driving and talk to them. I just really make it a day about me. Um, a day where I just get to choose everything that I want to do that day. I don't have to, you know, cause when you work with clients, you know, you have to work with them and you have a lot of, I gotta make sure my husband is good. And so that day is my day. It's my day to do whatever I want. And I just love it. It's truly free flow. And I, I can't, I'm like, I can't imagine life without it. I've skipped it a few, few times. I'm like, Oh no, you need your, you need your Friday.

Deneen L. Garrett: 16:24 17:01 And you know, the two things that what you just talked about that really, really stand out is one, that your nap is something that you do daily, right? Because nowadays, when we're talking about self care, it's like, oh, this one moment, maybe once a month, maybe, maybe once a week, whatever, we'll do this thing, but you're doing it every day. And so I love that. And so that's something for those that are listening or watching, you know, consider Incorporating a nap, you know, start off maybe 20 minutes and see how that works out for you. And then it's free flowing Friday. So is anything ever scheduled? in advance for your Friday?

Valincia Bennett: 17:01 17:49 So honestly, some Fridays I do have something scheduled. Like if I'm going to a meet, like I meet someone for lunch, like just a nice leisurely lunch with a friend or old coworker or something, something like that. But it's something fun for me. Like I'm intentionally doing things I want to do. I may have a hair appointment scheduled. I may have any type of appointments that I would want to have scheduled. I just do it on that day. And if I want to go to the spa, I go to the spa and I have it scheduled in advance. So when I walk in, I can go right in and they know. So it was just a nice day where I get to plan a little bit, but there's some days that some Fridays I don't. I just get up and I'm like, I'm gonna go try this new restaurant. Let me go.

Deneen L. Garrett: 17:49 18:41 No, I mean, I absolutely love that. And I love that you said fun, that you're making sure that whatever you do on Friday is fun. because it reminds of a conversation that I had. Actually, it was like a couple of years ago, and it was with Nikita Rand-Thickpen. And so what I took away from that conversation is play. Make sure you're incorporating play, which, you know, as adults, you know, we forgot about play. Like, we don't do that. You know what I'm saying? So for you and your intentional Fridays, I love that you're incorporating fun, which also could be play as well, which is something that we need to get back to. Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. So I'm going to pivot a bit. I honor my late sister, author and poet, Soul True, by asking about Dreams Deferred, which is the title of one of her books. Please share a Dreams Deferred moment.

Valincia Bennett: 18:41 18:48 Oh, Dreams Deferred. And are we just saying something that I've kind of put off and eventually decided to come back to?

Deneen L. Garrett: 18:49 19:07 Yeah, that's how you want to answer. It could even be something that, you know, you really, because I was thinking about the attorney thing, the corporate lawyer is, but even something that, you know, you thought you really wanted, it was a dream of yours. And then, for whatever reasons, you're like, okay, no, I'm over that train. So, whichever you want to go.

Valincia Bennett: 19:08 21:45 Yeah, I love that. So I can talk about that, the attorney piece. So if you would have asked me at the age of three, Valencia, what is it that you want to do? I would have proudly shared and be like, I'm going to be an attorney. I'm going to be a lawyer. And until I was maybe my junior year in college is when I made that decision to switch. So I was, I was committed to being an attorney. When I was, I asked myself, I'm like, what inspired me to be an attorney? What made me want to go that route? And I started to think about the influences of that. And I instantly thought about Claire Huxtable on the Cosby show. I wanted to be Claire, you know, I wanted to wear those cute suits. I wanted to have this just confidence about me. I wanted to be Claire. And as time went on. And I was in college when I really started to do that self, a little bit of self-discovery. Then I'm like, do you really want to be a lawyer? And I asked myself a very tough question because I wanted to be a corporate lawyer. And I said, Valencia, if you were to work for, let's say Tylenol, and you know, Tylenol created this new medicine and it unfortunately had side effects where it had it to the point where it killed people. Would you be able to defend that company?" And I said, no, I wouldn't. And I'm like, I wouldn't be able to do it for any company. And so me knowing that about myself and me not being able to, I know, even though that's my job, I wouldn't be able to fully do it. I was like, this is not the route for you. Being a type of lawyer is not where you should be. And so then I started to assess other options and that's when I started looking to healthcare administration. And that felt more aligned with me because healthcare is all about, supposed to be all about helping people and healing. And so me being able to be in that space and being a part of those decisions was like, okay, this is what aligns with who I am today. versus me wanting to be a Claire Huxtable. And so that's what brought me down that path. And then once again, I just was like, okay, it's time to reassess yourself. And that's we, and we're human, we change, we evolve. And with that, you learn that you have to change and pivot to where you need to go. And so even me being in healthcare and thinking that was the path, I pivoted to full-time entrepreneurship. And I'm very happy with my decision.

Deneen L. Garrett: 21:46 23:03 Yeah, and I love that you took the time to ask yourself why you wanted that. Because often we find out when we think about why we want something, what about that thing that we're attracted to? Then we realize and open ourselves up that there's other ways that you can have that. It does not have to be just that one way. So kind of going back to the limitations, right? But thinking about, OK, I want to do X, Y, Z, why? Oh, OK, because I want to serve people. I want to help people. I want to do this. I want to do that. Well, there's many, many, many ways for you to do that. Absolutely. And you don't have to put yourself in a box to say, oh, I just want to do it as a corporate attorney or whatever it is that you've chosen. And so that's something, again, that I really want those who are listening or watching to pay attention to is to really think about your why, your why of doing something. So now, again, you're you know, you shared how you live. your financial freedom, what that kind of looks like for you and for your husband. So I want to talk about living a dream lifestyle, which is what I empower women of color to do. And what is living a dream lifestyle and how do you live a dream lifestyle beyond what you've already shared?

Valincia Bennett: 23:03 24:53 You know, the first thing I realized that as a dream lifestyle is being able to have control over my schedule. Right. When you become an entrepreneur, I tell people initially, you may not experience that freedom that you want because you're, you're building a business. You're involved in your business, but the immediate. Benefit that you receive is flexibility. You get to create the schedule that you want for your life. And to me, that is so powerful. And that is a part of living that dream lifestyle. So that opens up. Now I get to travel. more. Now I get to spend more time with my husband. Like before I would be getting off of work, seven, eight o'clock, I'm exhausted. I hop in tub and I'm getting ready to get into bed. Whereas now it's like intentionally like four or five o'clock I'm done. And I'm able to go and spend the rest of the day with him. And so we, my idea of a dream lifestyle is really just having that control over my day to day and allowing that to look and feel the way that I want it to look and feel. And so that is currently my reality and I'm super grateful and blessed for it. But yeah, that to me is what a dream lifestyle looks like. It's not, I'm a very simple person. I am the queen of simple. I don't, I don't need fancy all of this. Like I have, we have a beautiful home. I have a nice car, but to me, that's not what it's about. It's about experiences. It's about changing lives, impacting lives. And so for me, I tell people I'm all about. What can I do to continue to build wealth? What can I do to continue to build a freedom lifestyle? That to me is what's important. I don't care about materialistic things at all.

Deneen L. Garrett: 24:53 25:13 Yes. So freedom and flexibility. Absolutely. Absolutely. Right. Those, those fun Fridays, those flexible Fridays. Love it. So Valencia Bennett, before we wrap, what would you like to leave the audience with?

Valincia Bennett: 25:13 26:04 You know, there's something I always, I wish someone, I feel like people tell you this, but you don't really listen to it. You can truly create the life that you want. Yes. Your past does not define your future. So if you are, if there's things that you are struggling with from your past, you know, go potentially talk to a therapist, speak to someone. Because we want you to be able to move past that and start to build a life that you truly want. And that life could be as grand and amazing as you want it to be, or it can be as simple and quaint as you want it to be. You have the control. You get to create your own path. You get to create what you want your life to be. And so for me, that is anything is possible. Truly anything is possible. Nothing can get in your way. The only person I can stop you is you. Right. The only one I can stop you is you.

Deneen L. Garrett: 26:05 26:23 And that's the key throughout this whole conversation. You, you, you, you drive it. Yeah, absolutely controlling your, you know, you can, you can make moves for yourselves. And that's what this is about. And that's what the conversation has been about. You're doing something later in March, like the March 20th or 21st.

Valincia Bennett: 26:26 27:49 Yeah, so we have the company called PDA. It's pretty darn ambitious. It's the other word, but I don't curse. So it's always interesting when I say it. But yeah, so it is a level up summit. Bianca King, she is the founder of PDA. And it's just a space where ambitious women come together and support each other and thrive and helping you create wealth. And so the level of summit is about teaching women about that and It's, she was showing me a stat the other day, she was like, 88% of women-owned businesses don't make more than a hundred thousand a year. And because of that, we're like, no, we have to change the status quo. We have to show that it's possible and giving the tools and directions on how to make it happen. So that summit is about that, but also about the community, the PDA community, where women come together, support each other, and it's truly ambitious women. Like, there's women in there with five, six, seven, eight companies. I mean, I'm one of them. But it's like, we're not boxed in. Like, do not allow society to box you in. You could be whoever you want to be, whoever you want to be. And so that's what the summit is all about, is really empowering and showing women that it's time. It's time. It's time for you to no longer play small and for you to step into your power and really show the world what you're made of.

Deneen L. Garrett: 27:50 28:43 Love it. Love it. So, yeah, we actually I actually had Bianca on a few weeks ago. So her episode is 146 Ambition in Life, The Power of Ambition and Finding Fulfillment Insights from Bianca B. King. So so make sure you check that out as well. But I wanted to make sure to look that up. Right. Because generational wealth is not something as well known about spoken about practice. in our community, right? And so any opportunity to learn about it and, you know, to get knowledgeable and to get support around it, I think we should tap into that. So we'll make sure to include that in the show notes with your show as well. So, Valencia Bennett, I have enjoyed the conversation. Thank you for lending your voice on women of color in intimate conversation and enjoy the rest of your day.

Valincia Bennett: 28:43 28:47 Thank you. Thank you for having me. This was amazing. My pleasure.