Episode #5 - Opening Up To Love

Hannah Velten 

Hello, it's Monday again. It's time for another episode of 'The Finder of Lost Things' with me Hannah Velten. Hello, welcome come in. As was going to say, I've got to fire again so that I can tell my stories around the fire, but actually we're coming into spring and it doesn't feel like we need so much of a fire quite yet. But do you come in because I've got lots of stories to share today; it's going to be another jam packed show. A lot of it's kind of been downloaded to me just this morning, because of events that I'm going to talk about, so bear with me. Hopefully, it will run smoothly.

But first of all, I just want to catch up with Steve Homewood, who we met.. well, I told you the story about him last episode. Remember, he was the naturalists that I went walking with who told me about his grandfather being lost in the jungle, in the Congolese jungle? Well, I talked to Steve during the week and because we are talking about love this week: we're talking about the power of love and also we're going to be talking about the power of the spoken word. So Steve told me this absolutely amazing story that I'd just really love to share with you because it's a real love story. And... I'm not going to say too much actually; all I have to say is that we're talking about love; we're talking about power and we're talking about meaning. So this is an email from Steve and it just sort of tells a beautiful love story which I want to share with you. 

"Yes, love. True Love is a powerful thing," he writes to me. "My wife and I met via an accidental 'like' on a nature post I put on Instagram. I was here in Lewes, which is in East Sussex, southeast of England, and she was in her native Venezuela. I clicked on her profile picture and it was like being struck by lightning. Her face was like a missing piece of the puzzle that my life was. Even though we didn't look alike, and she was 25 years younger than me, I felt as if we had always known each other, perhaps long ago, and another time. She felt the same and we chatted every day, all day, for two years, during which we discovered that our paths have crossed several times in England before we'd met on the internet. She'd been to England before to learn English and lodged with a friend of mine! And she visited a dental surgery a few years later in Brighton and I worked there. But I was upstairs in a different department. And again, we missed making contact. It was if the fairies were playing tricks on us. Since then, many other peculiar things have led us to believe there was a power at work that we have little knowledge of and perhaps there is a kind of reincarnation in the Universe and indeed, we had met and been in love before. We finally married in Venezuela, but I could only stay there for a week. A year later, after 1000s more phone calls and video links, she arrived in England. And two more years later on, we're still very much in love as that first day and living together in Lewes."

So I had actually asked Steve at some point, had he made an intention to meet his soulmate? And he said yes, he had in 2016. So this was must have been about a year before I met him. He'd actually read a book called The Secret [by Rhonda Byrne]. It was all about being positive and bringing in things that you were wishing for; there was a particular way of doing it. And he said he'd read just read this book and then suddenly, there was this mysterious accidental 'like' on his Instagram. So I'll leave you to decide about that.

Steve then added, "Last week I read a scientific journal and was reminded of Einstein's and Newton's and Hawking's work and the theory of relativity, in which I was reminded that nothing can be added or taken away from the Universe. What there is in our Universe is all there is. One may die and one may be born, but what you are never goes; it just changes. A matchstick was once the tree. It is now dead, but that latent energy when burnt, it changes to heat and light. It actually make plants grow and it grows again, but maybe into a different plant. A star exploding in the Cosmos does the same. Its components simply reform into other stars and give light and life again. Yes, maybe we all eventually, by luck, or by magic, meet our true loves and lost ones again?" 

So thank you to Steve, and to Maria - and if you want to know more about Steve, his website is www.stevehomewood.com. And he's an absolutely beautiful man, and now has his beautiful wife Maria. So that was just a nice little story to tell you for Valentine's Day. And actually even thinking about what Steve said, there's several things in there that I can see are similar to Christian and I - our story - which is essentially a sibling love story. And, you know, the intention was always there to find him. And I sent out my intention to the Universe (as we talked about last week). And this idea that really, you know, we're destined to meet our soulmates eventually. And I actually asked Steve if he had any advice about meeting and looking out for the soulmate, or the one who you're going to be with. And he just said, "It’s like nature watching... be calm, quiet, and wait. They will come and you both will know if you meant for each other... and be open to him or her making contact. Gently smile and make eye contact and leave the rest to the power of love." So I think that's beautiful advice. 

And so we're just talking about spoken intentions. And I'm just going to tell you about the importance of speaking intentions, rather than just thinking about them or writing them down. The act of speaking is such a powerful thing. And it carries a vibration, like everything you say, creates your reality. And I just want to take you back to 2015. So I had decided that I wanted to hold a 40th birthday party for Christian. Obviously, he wasn't there. And at that point, he'd been missing for 12 years. But I felt a very strong pull to mark his life in some way. I'd been a writer in residence for a funeral company, for a year, and I kept getting this idea that I had to do something to mark his life somehow. And yeah, my parents were a bit shocked when I said that's what I wanted to do, but I managed to persuade them. And I spoke... I didn't want to call it a eulogy, because I didn't feel it was a eulogy. But I made a speech about things that I had found leading up to Christian's party. And I just want to share a little bit about the intention that I made: the spoken intention that I made to find him.  So, the first thing that I'd found before the party was... Christian had painted a mural of - oh, goodness, the name has just gone out of my head. Reggae star, oh, my God, Christian, where are you? The name's totally gone [it was Bob Marley]. And this painting had actually been sold with the house that our Mum and Dad had sold while Christian was missing. The son of the people who'd bought the house had liked this image which Christian had had on his wall, up above his bed, and our parents actually left the painting behind for the son, when they moved. So I was looking for this painting, wondering where it was and wanting to have it at the party. When I asked Mum and Dad, 'Where is it?' they told me the story about it being left behind with the new owners of the house. And I thought, Oh, I wonder if they've still got it: it was a long, long, very long shot that they'd have it. But I wrote a letter to them and the father wrote back and said that they still had this painting. They still had it. And so I went along to collect it. So I met this man and he was so relieved that they hadn't thrown out the picture or burnt it or something. So we had this painting, which was pretty impossible, but 12 years later, we had this painting back, which Christian had painted. And the other thing that I'd found just before the party was a book about Mungo Park that Christian had read. Christian went to Africa to follow in the footsteps of Mungo. And I couldn't find this book anywhere. And I was desperate to find it because it's full of notations that Christian wrote. I was looking for it on all my bookshelves. And I had in my head that it was a blue cover, so I was looking for a blue spine on the shelves. And I couldn't find it anywhere; but eventually, I found it. And as you'll see, it has a red spine. And like it was there, all along. Anyway, I just want to read you a little bit of a speech that I made at his 40th birthday. "So one thing we found after 12 years: something we didn't think was possible, (which was the painting). Another thing found which had eluded us all, even though we'd searched high and low (which was the book). And of course, you can guess what I hope will be the third lost thing we find. (And obviously, that was going to be Christian). But before I go any further, I'd like to explain what I'd like everyone to do after we've toasted Christian. When I was making the playlist for the party, I went through all of his cassettes to find his favourite artists and songs. While listening in the car to the mix I'd made, on a long journey to the National Funeral Exhibition (yeah, a long story), I'd had a vision of us all here holding hands in a circle, while Lenny Kravitz "Let Love Rule" was playing. I remember Christian playing it over and over again, while he tried to get the notes and rhythm on his bass guitar. It seemed the only music to play. So it feels right to ask you in a minute to join together and send positive thoughts to Chris and get him to come home. For whatever reason, we still think he's out there on his way home, just not with any urgency, he probably doesn't even realise the grief he's been causing!" Yeah, and then I just sort of made a toast to Christian, my brother, and listed all the nicknames that everyone there knew him as, and ended with: "We miss you so much. And please come home soon." So that was the speech that I made. That was my first spoken intention to find Christian. And as I said, we'd found the picture and the book and the next thing to find was Christian. Yeah, so really, the intentions are so important. And sending that power of love out from you. 

I have to dedicate this show to a gentleman who I've met a few times and only probably spoke to him once or twice. His name is Peter Lawrence. And that's why the shows a bit all over the place today, because he died this morning (I think he died this morning). And he was part of the Missing People Choir that I belong to. He lost his daughter, Claudia, in 2009. She'd gone missing in York, in England; it was all over the papers. And I have a very special place in my heart for Peter because he fought and fought to get an act passed. And it was actually passed in July 2019, I believe, where after 90 days of a person being missing, the families can actually legally deal with that person's affairs. And, you know, if you have a person who goes missing, one of the worst things is that you literally couldn't do anything with their finances, with any of their affairs. When Christian was missing, Mum and Dad actually had to apply to the courts to have him certified as dead before we could do anything with his affairs. And it was such a long, heartbreaking process. So Peter fought for that. He was very gentle and had great inner strength, and he fought for that to come into law. So that's 'Claudia's Law'. 

And yeah, so I need to really talk about the Missing People [Charity] connection. So last week, we were talking about how I got out of my sort of dark night of the soul and actually started to write things for Missing People and that actually led to Christian being featured on Britain's Got Talent in 2017. The Missing People Choir got through to the semi-finals of that competition, and Christian was featured on the back wall, behind the choir. And that was the first time that I'd really had the emotional impact of seeing Christian as a missing person. Because at that point, I had got my hope back and I think Christian and I had probably made contact at that point. So we were thinking we were telepathically speaking to each other at that point. But watching Christian come up on the screen as a missing person, behind the choir, I was in floods of tears. And I could feel the emotion coming out of the television at me, and I could feel the emotion of everybody in the audience and everybody watching the programme. And the thing is, it hit me so hard, because the one regret that I really had - and the saddest thing for me about losing Christian at that point - was to do with an email that I actually written Christian, on the sixth of February 2003, before he went off to Africa.

And I'll read it to you: "Dear Chris, Just so that I'm on your records, I'm sending this to you with love. I hope that you really enjoy your time away, and get everything you want out of your trip. You will be a star one day (not that you aren't already in my eyes) and I'm very proud of you for your perseverance and determination in following your dream. I will miss you loads and think of you every day making your way in Mungo's steps. And beware of the Moors (the Moors imprisoned Mungo on his trip, so I was like, beware of the Moors!), be nice and polite to everyone and don't go taking stupid risks. I'm sure that Mongo will look after you anyway. Please write with progress reports, so I can follow you on the map and know that you're right. After all, you are my ickle bruver. Take care and I love you very much. Han x x x."

Now the thing that's so sad about this is that Christian never opened that email. And that fact, in my head, that he hadn't actually opened that email - we'd physically said goodbye to each other - but that he hadn't read that before he went was something which got me so hard, so hard. And then watching Christian as a missing person, because it hadn't, I don't think it really hit till I'd seen him on the screen. And yeah, that was a big moment. And feeling all that angst and emotion around having a missing person - the feelings in society and the culture around having a missing person, it's something that nobody wants to think about - it's just the worst thing that could happen if it's a family member.

I then went on to keep my relationship going with Missing People and went on to write a letter to Christian at the 2017 Missing People Christmas Concert, which was in London, up at St. Martin's In-The-Field - a beautiful, beautiful church up there [just off Trafalgar Square]. And I was asked to go and speak. And I just said, Yes. And at the time, I thought it would be fine. It'll be fine. But I sat in my seat (our parents came up with me) and I'd already tried to do a read-through just to test the microphones and I couldn't get further than the first sentence without bursting into tears. And I thought, 'How on earth am I ever going to be able to do this?'

Before I tell you what that letter to Christian was about, I just need to add that I'd actually been asked by The Daily Telegraph [UK broadsheet newspaper] to give an interview as Missing People was one of their charities as part of their Christmas Appeal. So I actually did an interview with the newspaper - the headline was something like 'Having faith that she will find her brother', so at that point I really was believing that I was going to find Christian. I had absolute faith in it. But the last section of the article shows that I was asked, you know, am I fearful of all the complications that, if he suddenly turns up, that will bring with it. And I said, "After 14 years, he's going to have changed so much, but he's still my brother, I love him. It's what I want." And the whole way through that article, I was fighting this idea of what society and what the culture around having a missing person was kind of like; the impossibility of finding a missing person after 14 years. I mean, it was so strong and I was fighting against it the whole time during the interview. It's all of this fear and even if you find him, he's gonna have changed so much, and how can you possibly work through that? And how that's just going to be another level of stuff to deal with. But I was adamant that no, this is my brother, and I loved him. I think I'd got to the point where there was this just complete, unconditional love for Christian, for whatever he put us through and for this expedition he'd gone on. It was his destiny to do it. And we couldn't stop him. And, you know... I think he's gonna talk now. Yeah, I mean, we know the stuff; we've talked about it so often, like, it was a wild goose chase after him. But we'd got to the point where Christian and I had worked out all our anger. And you know, there was a lot of mistrust between us which needed to be resolved about him actually coming forward and wanting to be found. And we'd worked out so much between us that there was absolutely no doubt in either of our minds that it was okay for him to come home, and that it would all be fine. I would look after him. I would be the big sister, I would be the one that would be in between him and the media. You know, we'd discussed all of that. There was absolutely no chance that I didn't want him to come home. I was fully ready, and he was ready to come home. 

So, yeah, this little bit of the letter that I actually read out in the Christmas Concert. I think Olivia is actually probably got a picture of me standing there. I'm just gonna read a very short extract. So this was directly speaking to Christian: "I realise now that you may need me to reassure you. To become a lighthouse. Well, I can safely tell you that I have lit that beacon of unconditional love in my heart and I just leave it there, sending out my love to you." So this was me speaking: the second time, I guess, I'd publicly spoken about Christian. And whereas the first time I was like, full of hope - and I was like, we are going to find you, you know, I've found all these other things, we are going to find you - at this point, I'd done all the searching, I'd done my dark night of the soul, I really hit rock bottom. And now it had got to the point where I couldn't attach to him being found, it really had to be like, I've unconditional love in my heart and just come towards me. It was so powerful that draw, that energy, that vibration. I'd gone from being in fear and grief and hope, essentially, to this strong, strong beacon. Yeah, unconditional love. And it was free to flow between us. You know, I wasn't trying to grab hold of him and keep hold of him tightly. That love was really really flowing. And yeah, it was a completely different experience speaking that letter. And actually when I sat down, I literally shook and I shook for about five minutes. I was sitting in my seat just shaking. And it was like, I was gonna say nervous energy, but it wasn't. It was like I'd spoken a real truth. And it was such a powerful truth. And the love was palpable, I could feel it. And I knew the minute that I sat down that something big was going to happen. It was like, I know this is going to happen, I know he's going to come home. I know we're going to be reconnected. 

And then there's a little bit more to the story before we were actually reconnected. And this is a little bit more about Peter. I joined the Missing People Choir: it wasn't necessarily my choice - I had no intention to do it - but I did join, with another lady. And the last time I actually saw Peter was during the last rehearsal I did, April 2018, and we actually rehearsed a song called 'I, Claudia', which a songwriter had gifted to Peter. I'd been singing for a while with the Choir and had recently sung for a segment being shown on 'Songs of Praise', which is on BBC One, a religious affairs programme. But I had begun to feel really uneasy about the songs that we were singing. We've been talking about the strength of love and the positivity that I was speaking about and had been expressing, but the songs that we were singing were very heavy songs. If I'd done a word cloud of all the words that we were using in the songs they were heavy, heavy words like lost and fighting, survival, I miss you, empty, silent, I just want you near my side, searching. Yes. So they were very heavy words. And I felt uneasy in that environment, because I was feeling that if I was wanting to attract a missing person, or I was wanting to attract someone to me, I would have to be more positive, the love would have to be a higher vibration and greater than the fear and missing them. Like to attract them in.  And the little bit extra that I've got to tell you, it is really about having a high vibration, being strong yourself and then attracting what you need and want to you. And yeah, so even by that time, at that last rehearsal, Christian and I had progressed our bond from being purely telepathic (or what we thought was telepathy) to being an energetic connection. Christian had energetically come to me, and he'd actually moved into my body, so I could feel him in my body. And this was the last sort of bit where we really connected because he felt safe enough to energetically come into my space. And he was in my body; he was in my space. I was holding him for literally two or three days. And I felt so calm. It was like... I remember when I was pregnant, like that feeling of calmness and fullness, you know. And that's what it felt like having him there with me. And that was the last thing that we kind of needed to do; that real bond and that real trust between us energetically. Yeah, so then going into that environment where I'm feeling the fear, other people's fear and grief - all those feelings that I'd felt around watching Christian on Britain's Got Talent - I knew I couldn't be in that space anymore. Yeah, I decided to leave the choir at that point. And then almost as soon as I'd made that decision - and this is so important - like making that decision to remove myself from a situation where I didn't feel comfortable anymore, it opened up another space for me. So this is a really important point actually. Like, it's okay to release things and to let things go if they no longer feel comfortable to you.

And actually, it was almost a few days later, I went on holiday. And I was walking along a coastal path, actually in Cornwall, and one of my guides... what was I doing? I wasn't really meditating, but I was just clearing my mind and having a very early walk in the morning with Duffy, our dog, and it was very cold, but I was walking along the coastal path. And I heard: "You are the Finder of Lost Things. It is a great responsibility." And I had heard other phrases and things before that I didn't understand. But I thought, oh, okay, that sounds quite serious. I was like, Oh, I don't really know what to think about that. And I tried to sort of ignore it really, to be honest. And especially because it was like such a big responsibility. But then, on the first of May 2018, yeah, I was ready to be "The Finder of Lost Things". So it was like two weeks later, I and Christian found out that he was dead. And I had become 'The Finder of Lost Things". And when we found out - I'm not going to just discuss it here because we've talked about it many times before - it was almost like, thank goodness we know. Yeah, it was a relief. Christian says like, it was such a relief to know that he was dead. He'd been feeling very odd and nothing had really made sense to him. Obviously in spirit, time and space is non existent in terms of what we think of as time - so he hadn't been in any pain or anything like that, and didn't realise how long it had been, but there was definitely this feeling of relief from Christian and myself, definitely. So yeah, this "Finder of Lost Things" kept coming back to me and I kept being told I was the "Finder of Lost Things", so I understood it in terms of Christian but no more. 

Then three weeks after I'd found out about Christian, Harry and Megan Markel got married. And I was watching the ceremony and this - I'm sure anybody who saw it, I'm sure you will remember the sermon that was delivered by the most Reverend Michael Curry. He was talking about the power of love and he was so enthusiastic. He was like an orator. I was hooked by him. I've got the article here which has a transcript of the sermon, and I just want to read a few little bits from it. So he says, "There's power in love. There's power in love to help and heal when nothing else can. There's power in love to lift up and liberate when nothing else will. There's power in love to show us the way to live." And then he says, "...there's a healing balm. It's something that can make things right... to make the wounded whole... That's what love is. Love is not selfish and self-centred, love can be sacrificial, and in doing so becomes redemptive. And that way of unselfish, sacrificial, redemptive love changes lives, and it can change this world." And then he ends that - yeah, this is important - he ends talking about fire, and fire being "one of the great scientific and technological discoveries in all of human history". And he was saying: "If humanity ever harnesses the energy of fire again, if humanity ever captures the energy of love, it will be the second time in history that we have discovered fire." Okay, so he was there talking about the power of love and likening it to this fire, this inner fire - which we'll come back to in a minute - but this ceremony was also the first time that we saw The Kingdom Choir, who sang "Stand by me" during the ceremony. And the leader of the choir was a lady called Karen Gibson. Now, very, weirdly, a few weeks later, after the ceremony, I got invited to - I talked about it a few weeks ago - Karen had set up a gospel choir very near to where I lived. And my friends in the village were part of the choir and I went along to see their concert. And I was absolutely blown away by this concert. So I'd left the Missing People Choir, and I'd said to myself, look, I love singing and I love expressing myself like that, I need to find another choir - I'd set out the intention to find another choir. And then blow me, the lady who leads this amazing Kingdom Choir... I go to their concert and they and she blows me away. And Karen's talking about, obviously, God and love and the truth and the power of love. And there was elements of being lost and found. And there... I mean, this whole concert spoke to me and I was up dancing around and singing and clapping. I mean, it was the most joyous thing. It was like, if you could put that on prescription - it should be on prescription because it was incredible. And like the whole house was jumping with love and power. It was amazing. Amazing.

So I joined this gospel choir in Lewes - it was actually Karen's last concert with the choir - but this was where I met Laura, who you met in the first episode who wrote and sings our beautiful theme tune "Great White Shark". But anyway, this was Karen's last show, because she, as you know, then went on to get a record deal with Sony, and they're all around the world - The Kingdom Choir - after appearing in the wedding ceremony. So I joined the choir, and that first season that I did with them, the songs were all about... well, one of them in particular which got me was "I Shall Wear A Crown". And the lyrics were "When it's all over, I will put on my robe and tell my story, how I made it over. As soon as I get home." And these songs that we were singing, they were so personal to me. And it was like after finding Christian, which we both thought that was going to be like the final bit - like, ah, we've found each other, we know what happened, it's all kind of sorted, we'd found some peace - but actually, what happened afterwards... we talk about it as 'a second mountain'. It was literally like a second mountain that we had to climb to tell our story essentially and show everybody what had happened. And to show the power of love and to show that the impossible can happen. And you know, I'm not gonna sort of talk about it now - I will at some point - but to climb that mountain I needed huge amounts of inner fire and inner love to be able to do that, because so much fear and crap came at me. And I was attracting that because I was scared about being 'The Finder of Lost Things' and actually what that meant and what I was then being asked to do with it... if that makes sense. I knew there was a purpose... we were so sure there was a purpose behind all of our story and we then had to work with that and find our way into the public somehow, but all of these messages in the songs and the act of gospel singing was what I needed, it literally was what I needed. And it allowed me to, again, grow back up in strength; grow back in love with myself, and to know the truth about what I was and what I was able to do and what our purpose was.

And... I'm taking a deep breath here because this week, for me, has all been about coming to terms fully with being 'The Finder of Lost Things'. I know it's the title of this show, but I'd almost converted it into 'it's for you the audience to be exploring... you know, finding your lost things' but actually this is me making a statement and I've just this week worked out what it was all about. And so anyway, this week I have been looking at something called 'The Soul Purpose System'. We're talking about the power of the spoken word here and, in this system, your name that you were given at birth (so like your full birth name) the sounds within it actually convert into a Soul Purpose. Now if you go to my show notes - which will be up tomorrow, so Tuesday, at www.finderoflostthingspodcast.com - I'll have all the information there, but essentially the sounds of your name are there to show you your physical challenges, your physical goals, your physical talents, and also your spiritual goals, talents and challenges and also every body has a 'soul destiny'. So, it's like what your soul, what your true self, the inner fire (if you like) within you, is here to do: you have a purpose here, you are born into this earthly life to fulfil a soul destiny. You are here to grow, to expand, not to be stuck and fearful - like I was - you know, we're not here to be stagnant. We're here to be growing. So yeah, I did the whole system with my name and my soul destiny came up as a creation code 9-9 ( if you want to know more about it you'll have to have a look at the links), which is the most powerful code within the whole system and it's actually linked to the dragon or serpent energy and that energy is essentially channelling the divine and being a real catalyst for change, to change the way that things are normally done. If you remember in the second episode when Christian and Duffy came in, and Christian left a gift for me which I didn't understand at the time, but it was a leather necklace with a dragon pendant - Ursula Dekker was saying it was like a dragon or it was fire, something to do with Dragon and the fire. This is the dragon/ serpent energy of, I was going to say, 'our' sole destiny. Now I did this system also for Christian and his full names and his spiritual goal was actually the 9-9, but obviously he never reached that spiritual goal while he was alive. He did make it, though, as part of our healing together was actually getting him to that point where he was the channel of wisdom and bringing new things into the world. But actually, his soul destiny was 11-2, which is actually as a rock and as a support, and as a knower of the polarity of life and death, and knowing the game - what this earthly existence is all about. And his soul destiny was to be the rock and the support to bring that through. So what I'm trying to say is that Christian has fulfilled his spiritual goals; I have fulfilled my spiritual goals. The only thing we haven't done is actually step into our soul destiny, and that is for me to be 'The Finder of Lost Things', period. Like, I have to do it now. And Christian... his soul destiny is to be the rock, the support, and my, yeah, sidekick as we go forward and we tell this story to more and more people, and to reach more and more people. And as 'The Finder of Lost Things', I have to own this. 

And I'm here to help people who are in the same state that I was in. So yeah, it's like being lost, being stuck, being unsure, addicted, exhausted, blocked, knowing there's something bigger for you / knowing there's a purpose here for you, but you just don't know what it is. Or you're in such deep grief, and you're living a life where you don't think things are possible anymore. So, coming out as 'The Finder of Lost Things' is like standing up, despite everybody saying 'That's rubbish. That's nonsense. Who do you think you are?' It's about being brave and it's purely loving myself. It's purely loving yourself, loving your true self, owning your true self. Like not caring what anybody thinks. Obviously, there gonna be some people that, you know, will hate what I'm saying and really, really react to it, and there's another percentage you're going to be uninterested - 'whatever, you know, it's your life, on you go' - but I'm talking to the people who this really resonates with. And the other thing is that - while we're talking about attracting, loving and things like that - you can't be attracting love if you're not giving out love. And giving out love, you can only do if you love yourself.

I'm always being told by The Creator - who you might call God, Source, the Universe... The Creator and I, we work together, we created 'The Emergency Grief Kit' for example, which is freely available from my website. And so The Creator... I've completely lost my track now. Yeah, oh, yes, the tree... The Creator always gives me this image of us humans as trees. And we all have like a seed within us - in our belly, in our gut and that seed is our true self, that seed is our fire. Okay, that needs to be ignited. So my role - as I work with lots of people - my role as 'The Finder of Lost Things' is to clear that energy, clear all the fear and the grief, all the negative energy, then it's to reignite that fire, that seed, that self-confidence, that's positive-self image, and the third part of my work is about pointing that power in the right direction. So that seed, like, you put the roots down, which is a family, community, Nature, your guides - your support that makes you really strong and supported and loved. And then the trunk is your self. And that's what gives you the inner strength, and it grows and it grows and it grows. And it almost like dissipates all the negative energy; love is such a powerful force that fear just can't fight it. Once you start opening up, and you start really using that power and that fire and that love, it takes on a life of its own, it really does. And it starts to attract goodness to you. And then once you've got that strong trunk, then you get the branches and the leaves. That's all your direction and your purpose and you're giving out and receiving. 

Okay, so it was just important for me, at this point, to publicly say, I am 'The Finder of Lost Things' and that will make everything possible: all the purpose, all the things that Christian and I want to do and all the good that we want to bring into the world and all the fear and grief and heaviness we want to work against in a positive way. Yeah, that's all I really have to say. Um, one thing I would like... if we've got regular listeners to this podcast, I'd really love it if you could, because we're so new... if you could make your way to iTunes and leave a review, that would be amazing, because that will help with the expansion of this podcast. But I really do feel - like when I sat down after doing the the speech in the church about Christian - that I have released some stuff and created a momentum. So yeah, I feel relieved to have done that. So thank you very much for listening. I hope you've got something from this. And just remember, the more love you have for yourself, the more you can give out and then the more you can receive and attract. So, lots of love and I'll talk to you next week. Okay, bye bye. 

[Added into the podcast] Ah, I almost forgot... these words from Christian. They are #8 on his 'life lessons learnt' list (there are 16 points in all): "Love is all you need. Love knows no bounds, knows no boundaries, is unconditional, mends broken things, finds lost things and is the calming balm that's needed in this world, at this moment. If everyone could live with a little more understanding and empathy for others, and self love, and extend that to the animals, Nature and the environment, there would be more harmony reigning in the world, and it wouldn't be a f*cked up as it is (excuse my language)." And I've remembered who Christian's picture was of... Bob Marley... and we all know he sang about love...