Episode #8 - Destiny Calling: Why Did This Have To Happen?

Hannah Velten  00:11

Hello. Hi, come on in, please. Welcome. Come and sit around in a circle; I've got loads of stories again to tell you this week. This week, we're going to be talking about 'WHY?' When things go wrong, once we've got over the initial shock, or flight or fight response, and we've had a bit of time to sort of take stock, we always ask 'why?' You know, why did that have to happen? What was the purpose of that? This is something which I have had a long history of asking, 'why did this all have to happen?' And like finding the meaning and the purpose behind what happened to my brother, Christian, and also to myself, and us together? So I'd really like to show you how this search for meaning and the answer to the big question of 'why?' and how this played out over the course of probably about five years now. But to show you, I'm going to have to really start with Christian right at the beginning, where he was writing to an agent - a literary agent - and he was describing his project. I'll try and condense it a bit, but I want you to see what was driving Christian at this point. And I guess we have to ask, when we're asking the question 'why?, is it fate or is it destiny? Now fate to me is... I was asking my friend and colleague, Natasha Harris, who you'll meet in a couple of programmes... I was asking her what she thought about fate and destiny, the sort of differences, and I just want to tell you what she said, because it was quite an 'aha' moment, she said to her the feeling of fate felt like heavy - like it's something that is going to happen, and you're just sort of trotting along, being pulled along. Destiny, on the other hand, is something that's light and it sparkles and you're really excited and off you go. So when I read you this, you'll understand why I initially thought that this was all Christian's destiny going to Africa.

Hannah Velten  02:57

So he's writing to a very well-known London literary agent, and after his brief introduction he starts talking about his aims. So this is Christian speaking, and this was written in September 2002, so he was 27 at the time. So... "My plan is to trace the route of the British explorer Mungo Park, whose mission it was in 1795 to discover the cost and termination of the river Niger in West Africa. With the bicentenary of his death soon approaching, I thought it would be a fitting tribute to his memory to recreate this amazing journey in post-colonial Africa. Like Park, I shall travel alone and on foot, save for the accompaniment of local guides and the use of pirogues (which are dugout canoes) along some sections of the river. I want the gritty realities and challenges of travelling in these environments to become apparent from my writing and/or filming. It may be difficult to follow Park's exact route to the river due to changes in names or places that have vanished, but I hope to experience what it was like for him to explore new, unfamiliar lands often in very difficult conditions. (Those conditions he doesn't put them in, but I'm gonna add them in: disease (malaria), hostile tribes, dangerous animals, inhospitable terrain, and extremes of harsh climate). Christian then carries on: "It will be interesting to find out how the ease of travel has improved since he strode into the history books." Then he goes on to talk about the journey - which I'm going to summarise - he begins in Gambia right on the west coast, then passes through Senegal, into Mali, past the ancient city of Timbuktu at the edge of the Sahara Desert, down through Niger and out through the forest and mangroves down to the Nigerian coast. The route covers a distance of 2100 miles and passes through the territories of at least eight different tribes. He adds: "I would expect to take about five to six months to complete the journey to allow time to visit the major sites, to experience the lives and cultures of these people and to spend some time looking at the country and the wildlife that lives there." And then he goes on to break down the journey into six parts, with the first part of the journey being overland from Gambia to Bamako, in Mali, which is travelling from the coast into the Sahel (arid grasslands) and then onto the Niger river. He never got past this stage one of the trip [as his physical life ended around Bamako]. But then he goes on to talk about his experience and interests, and this is where I think we can start to see how this trip to Africa, and what unfolds, has been his destiny for a long, long time. All the travelling that he's done... but you'll see. So: "My experience and interest: I was initially attracted to the stories of Mungo Park's adventures as a result of some of my own experiences travelling and once I'd learned more about his travels, I found the idea of undertaking such a challenging journey irresistible. I'm roughly the same age as Park was when he set out on his first journey. I'm 27. He was 24. Like him, I went to Edinburgh University. I too, went abroad after finishing my studies and was also interested in wildlife. I went to the West Indies and spent about two years travelling around exploring the islands of the Eastern Caribbean, where I was researching the fauna and taking photographs with a view to writing about my findings, which I have subsequently done. During this trip, I spent most of my time in the bush and living with the islanders who were generally surprised to see me on my own, away from either the hotels or the island's yachting centres. I met some fascinating people and frequently found myself amongst Rastafarians, with some of whom I found it very interesting discussing their African roots and how the white men had taken their people into captivity. Many of these people's ancestors would have come from Western Africa in the regions visited by Park, but most knew little about where their ancestors came from. I did not give the idea of following up this interest much thought at the time as I was in the Caribbean to study the wildlife, but I had already travelled in southern Africa before and had already decided that I would love to see more of that continent. My discovery of Mungo Park's travels instantly struck a chord with me and I thought this would be a great way of combining my interests in exploration, wildlife and the people that some of my friends in the Caribbean may have descended from. I am an experienced and capable solo traveller, with several past expeditions under my belt which has given me an ample taste of the hardships encountered when travelling in wild or remote places. It takes a lot to dampen my spirits, and I enjoy roughing it in the course of achieving my goals, particularly when the experiences to be gained by doing so are out of the ordinary. The history behind the exploration of the Niger (which is the third longest river in Africa) is fascinating, but would not be the main focus of the journey, rather a foundation for the work I hope to produce. While documenting my journey on film and in a book, I intend to spend time looking at West Africa, its history, the people, their cultures, trade, industry and the wildlife, about all of which I have gained a broad knowledge in the course of my research. I hope, therefore, to include something to suit many different tastes. Although this is an exceptionally beautiful part of the world, its beauty masks the harshness of the lives of those who live there. Therefore, I intend to render a realistic portrait of their lives as unseen by the outside world and to tell a great story in the process."

Hannah Velten  09:09

Obviously, he did go on to tell a great story in the process, but that wasn't the story he was expecting to tell at all. And so that's kind of Christian's build up to this trip to Africa. The build up to MY part in this, really happened in 2015 - so we're now talking sort of 12 years after he'd gone missing - and I've talked about it before, but I totally couldn't deal with my grief and we were still living in a kind of hope that he might one day turn up. But I'd gone on to have family, I'd got myself sort of settled in life and one day in January 2015, I met our local Vicar at the time - a lady Vicar - in our local shop, and she started to tell me about her brother who'd just died in New Zealand. So she was over here, he died in New Zealand. And she was telling me how she'd been able to be at the funeral through the internet, which was quite new then (it was quite a new idea, which is funny now because that's mainly how we've been able to view funerals during our COVID lockdowns). But she then went on to talk about how it had been lovely to hear her brother's stories, things that she didn't know about him. So she was obviously listening to eulogies and readings, and as she was talking I burst into tears. She knew about Christian (and was actually one of the only people who knew about him at this point) and she comforted me. It just really hit me that I hadn't dealt with Christian's disappearance at all and, from that conversation, what I really wanted to do was to gather stories of Christian: to piece together his life, you know, the stories that we'd missed, and we, at that point, were thinking we'd never be able to ask him to fill in the gaps. I know, last week, we were speaking with Sara, one of Christian's best friends, and she was filling some of the gaps about his time in Edinburgh, where he was studying, but that conversation with our Vicar started off my thought that I needed to ask all his friends for stories of Christian that I wanted to put into a book. And I was going to approach publishers (because I'm a published author already), but I was going to create a book proposal to tell Christian's story and to include, you know, memories of him, but also the search that we had. And, yeah, that was my sort of story proposal idea at that time. But we kind of moved on... because when we got to 2018, when Christian and myself found out that he was actually dead, the focus of why this had happened, changed. So initially, I was thinking, well, there has to be a reason for him going missing, there has to be a reason for me starting to feel that I need to find him again, after all that time, and to start going forwards, following this pathway really to have a spiritual awakening. And I was actually reading this book today, it's a brilliant book, "Sand Talk" [by Tyson Yunkaporta] and in it there's a brilliant line: "Ghosts tend to linger where there is unfinished business, and hard truths buried in shallow graves." And obviously when we found out that Christian was dead, there was obviously a huge story to tell.

Hannah Velten  13:46

So I'm gonna jump again to July 2018. So actually, I hadn't found out his whole story at that point [we did our trance mediumship sessions - to retrace his steps - in Dec/Jan 2019], but we knew roughly what had happened to him. And I started to think that actually this was a much bigger story than Christian and myself, and this was being expanded out to other people. It was like our experiences would help other people. So we'd gone from just sort of sibling interaction to actually thinking, hang on, this is on a much bigger scale than we think. And I actually wrote down my fears: "The story that we've been through - the 15 years, I don't want them to be wasted. How do we get this story that we're telling and the lessons that we've both learned (because Christian and I learned a lot of lessons along the way): how do we get that out to a wider audience?" And I was asking my guides, at that point, and Christian: "Show me how I'm gonna do this. Show me how I'm going to get to a bigger audience" And a lot of this was to do with finding balance again, because, obviously, when something happens that completely knocks your life out of alignment, all you want to do is to get balance again, and try and get through the days - is a good start - but also to have the hope and the faith that, at some point, life is going to be more peaceful, is going to feel calmer. And that is all to do with how you're feeling inside. So whatever's happening on the outside of life, and however you're being pushed and pulled and circumstances are happening around you, you can see it as fate, you know, these things are happening TO me, whereas actually seeing it as things are happening FOR me. And Christian's advice, at that point, when I was saying, 'Look, how do we get this bigger story out? How do I find some peace, that our story isn't going to be wasted and that people are actually going to be able to get something from it as well?' He's started talking about God. And he was talking about feelings, and how feelings are God-given. {Take note of your feelings - the greatest gift you can give yourself. When feelings are dismissed or hidden or ignored, you are turning away from balance} So, whatever you're feeling, it's almost like God is giving them to you, to show you how out of balance you are, or how in balance you are. So we're always trying to get back to a balance, and I used the image of the blue triangle for the image for this episode and that's really getting back to that balance and that calmness and that peace. And that was what Christian and I, and all of us, are all trying to do in this life. Finding your balance is like a real purpose in life. And when things are really unclear, for example, I asked the question at the end of the last programme, 'Why was the truth about Christian not found earlier on?' There were so many searches for Christian and we had absolutely nothing, no concrete evidence at all, no news at all. So when I started doing my sessions with Christian - we did trance mediumship sessions to really find out exactly what had happened to him - I asked him why it had taken so long to find him, for number one, and why it had been ME that had to find him, because, at that point, it became really obvious that it was a journey that Christian and I were doing together. It wasn't just him going off and me going off on our separate ways in life, we had come back to lead a sort of parallel life. And Christian said...  this also kind of gives an idea of the purpose behind him going missing and everything that was going on, but it also, again, shows this idea of a destiny.

Hannah Velten  19:02

"So there were lots of searches for me, I'm now told, but why was I never found? (so this is Christian speaking through me) And he says, "The honest truth is that it would have served no great purpose for me to be found then... dead. I would have just been a dead brother, a dead son, a dead friend. Everyone would have grieved in their own way and then moved on with their life as best they could. But that was never the purpose of my death, or my story towards my death. The purpose was for Hannah to move through life, to have her family, to experience being a writer, to experience speaking in public - all these things she's done over the years. It's all Hannah. And thank God she took every opportunity she was given; never shied away from opportunities and DOING. All the people she met along the way to help her were all there for this purpose. She doesn't know how special she is. She healed and regenerated herself from loss, using all the guidance around her, and now WE are in the position to use everything that Hannah has learned to be able to bring purpose to my death and missing status for 15 years. Hannah understands this now, but she's resented it for many years. We've had to... no, not WE (as I've played no part, knowingly)... but others in Spirit have been leading her - in many cases, using other people to keep her in a state of hope - to bring her to the point where this purpose is now being able to be fulfilled. The past is quite a murky place for me in the physical, but Hannah's going to help me to tell my story and shed light on what has happened by telling you my story, and hers. Hannah is going to... provide healing through story. This will be in writing, film, speaking: story as therapy. She's going to have a film crew, which I never had stupidly." So, at this point in time, I still don't know what the film crew is all about... unless it's doing these podcasts, and these films, I don't know? But when I did those films with him, it was like... it's all been about the story! And he says, actually, here, that if he had known what was going to happen to him, he would have never gone on this trip (even though people told him that it was a bad idea, he was like, 'No, I'm gonna do it.'), but he says, "you do know that it was never the plan for me to stay at home... and rot. The plan was for me to always be travelling, to always be exploring, to always be building a story for Hannah and myself to tell later. It's all been about the story... which Hannah's going to uncover and tell." And then he carries on saying, "My hope is that all those who need support through loss, however long ago it was, finds some peace through these videos and through Hannah's words, and our words." I don't think I need to say any more there, but I mean, he's.... oh, sorry, he says: "I was always chasing. Always chasing after something, the answers. But, as Hannah will tell you, the more you chase after something and try to force things to happen, the more they elude you. It's only when you accept, release emotions, and forgive, and become a lighthouse with love in your heart, that's when life begins." And he was telling me this, and I was telling the audience. I should say here that when I was doing the trance mediumship [with Christian], I didn't know, or I didn't consciously register, what was being said. So I did these films, and they're all on YouTube [https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLPVG5sq8INF0m63xY_Rv14JIieWTv2k_n] and it wasn't until I watched them back that I was like, 'oh, okay, this has a much bigger purpose, and is a much bigger event than I could possibly comprehend really'. So, as I said, it had just gone from Christian and I, to these films where we were going to be helping other people and on a much bigger scale. So it was all a bit of a shock.

Hannah Velten  23:43

But then it kind of became more obvious, as time went on, and I did my own work meditating and trying to understand what on earth was going on. I did a meditation to interact with 'The Council of Light'. Now, this 'Council of Light' is like a set of spirits who, before you birth into this life... stay with me, stay with me [Hannah smiles]. I know it might sound a bit out there, but stay with me. Before you come into your life, you have, to a certain degree, decided on lots of things that are going to happen to you in this life. And I did this meditation and I'm going to share with you some of the things that came up. And I also want to include another few things about destiny life and also about the parents that you choose. So I did this meditation and it became really obvious that Christian was in charge... so Christian and I were together before we birthed - we're only 14 months apart in age - so we birth pretty quickly together. So I was with Christian in this 'Council of Light' area before we birthed, and Christian was very excited, he was holding my hand. And I was not keen to do this life at all {Hannah laughs} And he was adamant that we needed to do this life. We'd chosen our parents already. And this is something that he told me later, but I will tell you here what he said about our parents: "When true love exists, then others will allow and accept you to change. Like our parents - they might not totally understand what's happening to you, but they understand. They allow you to evolve. They understand that you need to break, and rebuild yourself. They shouldn't be scared of what you become. True love allows, understands, forgives and finds a way. We're very lucky with our parents, Han, and I [Hannah tears up and takes some breaths] - Christian always does this [gets emotional] when we talk about them. Sorry, "We're very lucky with our parents, Han, and I now know why we chose them as they've allowed us to find our own path in life. They haven't constrained, despite everything in them shouting and screaming that we are taking the wrong path. The ripples we're creating now are calming them and making them proud. We do owe them everything, you know." Yeah, so that's where we chose our parents. But also we choose, like, the circumstances that we were born into. So we were born into England, safe and green, as Christian said, and we had good schooling, Christian was a border, so he went away boarding. And the whole point of this life was that Christian and I would be separated. And I knew that; we both knew that coming in. But in the circumstances that we lived in, the separation was quite an easy one, in terms of boarding school, and that sort of gradual separation. So we grew up on a farm together for you know, many years, and then gradually got separated. And that was the only thing that kind of made me okay with this life, in terms of losing Christian because I knew I would lose him. And I knew that we would find each other again, I didn't know how or when, or in what circumstances, but I knew we would be reunited. And I also knew that it would be a safe time - you know, we were born in the 1970s and forwards from that it was a safe time to be able to talk about these kinds of things. And yeah, I chose the body that I'm in. And we chose all these things. And the other thing that we wanted to heal - there was a pattern that we wanted to heal, but it wasn't so much a pattern of Christian and I in our healing... although, as I've shown you in previous podcast episodes, there's been lots of ancestral healing and personal growth... but this mission, it was like a mission on earth. Christian was like, "It is a mission!" It was down to Universal healing. It wasn't just about us, it was going to be a universal healing. And, also, the other thing that kind of persuaded me to do this, was that when Christian had gone I would also be given a very loving family to replace Christian, so I would feel fully loved, which I do with the family that I have. So there were all these things. And this was all in meditation. And it was really obvious how, oh, I just didn't want to do this. [Hannah laughs] I was really reluctant to do this. Because Christian and I have had many past lives together, not necessarily as siblings, but as allies. And it's been hard in previous lives because we'd also been separated, but we hadn't been able to tell our story. Myself, particularly, had been sort of cut down many times for the truths that I spoke in previous lives. So I was really unsure. Christian was the strong one. And he was like, 'Come on, Han, we've got to go and do this. This is really the last one.' And he persuaded me. I mean, I don't know if you can tell, but Christian is a strong character. And yeah [Hannah exhales heavily] so I kind of agreed to do this life. But it had to be like a collective; it had to be Christian and I doing this together. And the mission was really to heal the grief... in the world {Hannah laughs nervously]. It's like healing grief and fear, to turn the fear to love, to lighten people on earth, to bring love connections, to show that loss is an illusion, love is all you need, the way to live is like how animals live - so wild and natural, in terms of mind, I should say.

Hannah Velten  31:18

And that was when I was showing this blue triangle. And how balance is so important and how rebirth is important. So like when these awful things happen, or where you're forced to change, where you're forced to accept the unknown, that is when it is your opportunity to rebirth. And we'll get onto that a little bit later... But this meditation was so real. So there were lots of other people/energies around us in this area: so perhaps you were also there if you're listening to this, and reacting when I'm talking about the 'Council of Light', and some people would call it 'The Ring of Destiny', I think - so this area before you birth, where you get your sort of mission, but then when you're born, you sort of get this collective amnesia. And life is all about finding that balance again, and going through all the lessons. In the end, I did say that I would do this mission. But I also said to Christian that the onus was on him to provide the truth and the messages and the lessons and that he was going to be kind of the leader in this life. And that he would be the one doing the storytelling. So he would go and get the story. And I would be the one to tell it.

Hannah Velten  33:06

You know when we talk about fate, and destiny, and all of this, we really have to remember that we have free-will. We have free-will, all the time; we have a choice. So if something comes up, and you think, 'Oh, this feels familiar,' like this feels like I have a decision to make here: I can either go this way with my heart, maybe, or this way with my head, this is the way I should be going - that's where you have your choice, that's where the free-will comes in. So you can have an unlimited number of ways your life can turn out, but really the balance that we ALL want and are all aiming for, is gained by following these God-given feelings and actually consciously trying to gain balance. You know, what is my heart really wanting me to do? And having the bravery to do what your heart really wants to do... there's something here actually... So, when I was doing a memoir with somebody not that long ago (because I used to ghost write memoirs with people) and this gentleman had a story about his upbringing that he never told his family. He didn't tell them about his early life because it was so completely different to where he was - and I think he was a bit embarrassed about it - but he wanted to put the story down and tell his truth. And I said to this gentleman, "This memoir, it has to be your essence. It has to be really who you are and you know what you carry in your heart. This has to be in your memoir." So he did tell me all about his parents and how he grew up and we put it in this memoir for his family to read. But when I came home from that, I was talking about it with Christian and he said: "We are all made up of our experiences... we choose them and choose them before we birth. And we have to live and experience life to expose ourselves to our potential lessons, it's up to us whether we, firstly, engage with the potential lessons, and whether, B) we live them, and C) whether we allow ourselves to learn from the situations. We can fall at any of the hurdles."

Hannah Velten  35:46

So, living your destiny life, and Christian will say, you know, follow your dreams, but don't expect it to be an easy path. Because when you're stretched, when you're challenged, like that's when the good stuff can really happen. But it's not easy. I mean, none of this path that Christian and I have been on, and which we would encourage others to do, you know... if you have a death, or a loss or a grief that you can't shake, you know really doing that inner work, and really exploring it and releasing the feelings and going on the journey - doing that walk through the grief, we call it a 'grief walk'; so actually walking through the grief and really releasing everything - that is what we help other people with. And that's what we recommend, you know. We are an example of how grief can be really used to grow and expand and to see life in a different way. We have this image of... Christian and I, in our meditations, used to fly as eagles and when you're in your Eagle form, you're high up, you can see everything from a much higher perspective and you can see a longer perspective as well. So I think what we're talking about here is all through our journey we've seen the long view of it. You know, when you're living in a situation and you're very insular and everything is getting on top of you, it's very easy to not be able to take the long view and just struggle and strive and fight, but actually when you're up high you get a soul view of your life really; so your higher self - what you've come here to achieve. You can kind of go 'oh yeah, okay if I look at it from a higher view, this has happened because of this, you know... I'm here to learn from this; I'm here to break that Universal pattern; I'm here to be the hope of my ancestors that I will be able to break this pattern of behaviour maybe; or I need to be able to forgive and that will change my life and my family's life from now on, you know, all these things. It's taking that destiny step - that light feeling. How will this make me light? How will make this make me lighter? How will this change me in a positive way? Sorry, I went off on one then {Hannah laughs}: Christian wanted to get that off his chest!

Hannah Velten  38:46

The other thing that I need to talk about was Christian telling me a couple of extra things, which made more sense to his side of the story. And I'd just like to share these with you because they might trigger something for you. They might just trigger something about experiences that you've had, and also the idea that we're never alone and that we come into this life with a purpose, and that purpose will be unique for everybody, but we have a whole heap of guides around us and we only have to ask for their help if we're feeling stuck. Anyway, Christian's already talked about how he had angels around him while he was growing up, and this is him speaking after we'd done our trance mediumship sessions - he was filling a few gaps in his story-telling: "When I was travelling through Africa, alone, I had several strange experiences which changed me forever - little did I know my earthly life was nearly at an end. The first experience was a visitation by an angel. It was neither male or female, androgynous I suppose. It was definitely in the human form, though - pale-skinned and totally foreign-looking amongst the Africans I was usually around. It became, after the first visitation, a regular visitor in my eyes. It really did appear to me, like a living and breathing human. It came to me in moments of quiet, peaceful contemplation; usually when I had finished scrawling (writing his notes) and it would appear to sit down beside me: equally at peace. Africa I thought was playing tricks on my mind - travelling alone frequently does this to people. But this was no figment of my imagination. At first, I was taken aback and wondered what I should do and say in its presence. It had this beauty, silent and serene. (I wonder if it's rude for me to be using the term 'it'?). The apparition never said anything on the first few visits, we just sat contemplating the enormity of the landscapes in our view. It never touched me, physically, ever but I felt an intense energy radiating from it. It was dressed in a white robe - sparkling clean, even in the dust - and I always felt grubby and embarrassed by my appearance. But I knew I wasn't being judged. I could tell it's hairstyle - short and closely cropped - was blond, natural! Blue piercing eyes like lasers, almost. They (the eyes) could see straight through me and into me. There was no denying the internal power energy within this form. Despite its obvious power, it radiated peace and contentment. It would come at all times of the day - no set pattern, and I don't believe I summoned it in any way, but later it revealed to me how and why I'd called it to me: that is the latter part of this letter" ... which I will skip to... "Going back to Africa, I was nervous of these angels at first, because they were adults/fully grown. I had previously only sat with children and juveniles. These fully grown angels had no wings (unlike the ones you interact with). They were all-knowing, very Zen. I didn't know what I was supposed to do around them, but, as with the children, I would just sit and gain energy and comfort. I can't tell you if they were the same one each time, but, I suspect, like the children, they were different but as adults they had lost some of their individuality. What did these angels want from me? At the time, I had no idea - I just liked their presence. I was travelling alone so I had no one else to really relax and chill with. One incident gave me my first inkling of what I should do with them, for them. I was to become a storyteller." So this is almost like Christian remembering what he was here for. He was here to get a story, by being the explorer, and to create a story which would touch hearts and minds of people, so we could tell the story and people wouldn't necessarily know they were receiving messages and guidance; they could just listen to the story. So he continues: "By being a storyteller, as you know, it's all about giving a voice to universal truths and themes. Fables, myths and legends all tell truths in story which is easy to pass on. Lessons learnt are passed on. One day or evening, I was sitting under this tree shaded and actually full (so he's had a full meal) and I must have fallen asleep. Unusually, the angel appeared and spoke with me. The voice was totally hypnotic, like warm treacle flowing over a sponge pudding (public school desserts there!). I'll try and remember exactly what was said." So this was when he was in Africa travelling, so we're kind of time-hopping here. "Christian," it said, "your time on earth is running short. Your life has been one of searching, running and breathing to be free. To have that angelic energy you've been introduced to. To make a difference in this world, in the physical, that you create in your dreams [Christian would use reiki to help children in distress]. With your background in zoology, we've given you opportunities to do with the animals - God's creatures - but that's never fulfilled you as you thought. All the opportunities we've presented have appeared to fail. We've been waiting for this moment - this perfect moment - to give you your real purpose in this life. All is ready for you now. You do not need to be scared. You do not need to be wary of what will unfold. Your sister, Hannah, is coming to you to help you. She will take over my role. She will speak to you, unlike me. Grandmother and Edward (neither known to you) will appear to you, too." Now, Edward, if you've been listening to the podcast is Ursula's father, from podcast two and three. "They are in Spirit. They have already made contact..." blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Hannah Velten  45:28

And yeah, so, Christian is basically saying that as he was going towards his death, he was being told what was going on. And I would really love to have a death doula on the show with me, so if there's anyone out there who's listening who'd like to come on... but I know that so many interesting things happen before death occurs. And Christian obviously had these visitations and he was being told what was going to be happening to him. And he then later says that angels are God's messengers. "They don't all have the same purpose, guises or ways of doing things, but you can always tell when your life has been touched by them." And again, that's that idea of destiny calling; that we're being taken along and you're following what lights you up, you know, what excites you. Keep following in that vein, and take the steps, take the small steps; like live in the present, and just take those small steps. If something's calling for you... you'll be pulled. Christian and I have been pulled all the way through our lives, actually; literally being pulled forward to this point. We all are, if we allow ourselves to be pulled. But we do have this choice. We can say, 'No, no, you're alright', but you will keep feeling uncomfortable. When you're feeling uncomfortable and when you're feeling nervous about things, that's when you're getting the call to go where you're wanting to go. It's uncomfortable, but often that's where the really good stuff is happening and when you're gonna learn stuff. And then there's just one little bit as well, I want to add... so this was later on - this was Christian's last little bit of extra information for 'the book'. He's always talking about a book. So I think these podcasts have actually been the book. [Hannah laughs] I've been writing it as I've been speaking! So this last little bit that he wrote is really about why he was always drawn to travelling. And, as often happened, I was actually reading a book when I burst into tears [it's a sign that I need to notice something about what I'm reading] and this is the book... it's 'The Songlines', by Bruce Chatwin. And Bruce studied nomads; he travelled all over the world with nomads and this 'Songlines' is all about the Australian Aboriginal song lines. And in it... I was literally in the middle of Kidzania, which is this weird place for children where they basically go out and try different jobs. So it's like this whole small town, and they have set areas where children can go and do different jobs like being a vet, or radio presenter or sportsmen - it's totally commercialised and totally what Christian was actually trying to get away from... which will become clear. But yeah, in the middle of this place, I was reading this book, and there was a mention of walking and how it gets you closer to God; it gets you closer to balance, to peace. And in this book there's mention of a Latin term - I'm not even going to pronounce the Latin, [solvitur ambulando] - which translates as "it is solved by walking", which I think we actually mentioned in the first podcast. So Christian, as I told you from that first agent's letter, he was always travelling. He was like the wild man; I'm sure you've seen the pictures [Olivia, our producer, put some photos of Christian on the screen - see show notes]. That's what he wanted to do with his life. He was drawn to walk. And this is Christian's last piece to me, tying up the ends. So we wrote this in May 2019, and he says: "Travel, ah, Han, this is an important point for 'the BOOK'. And that's why I gave you the tears yesterday while reading Chatwin's book. I'd really like to say a few words about why I travelled and what I experienced while travelling. In one word - freedom. I was able to be myself undistracted from being my true self. I could be bolshy, kind, generous, sociable, quiet and wander freely. There were no demands placed on me, except my own thoughts - which was sometimes skewed by drugs or alcohol. But genuinely I could be myself, which was such a relief. Dusty boots and wind in my hair or heat on my back, flies around me, a natural diet and fresh air (unpolluted by traffic). I had space to wander and explore. And that idea of the rhythm of walking being hypnotic and meditative was so true for me - I could really 'see' myself and the Universe around me. Even in Africa, before the angels, I was beginning to view myself and my place in new terms - the snake shedding his skin is an apt metaphor. It's like seeing things with new eyes, corny (I know), but true. I was being stripped back to my bones. Who was I? What was I doing here? What was I contributing? What was I doing with this life? Who was I living for - myself or others? What was the extent of myself? Where did I begin and end? Heavy questions. But like you, Han, when you were told to 'Know Yourself', that's how you awaken. You, as me - a starseed. Know now that this life has all been about the journey we've been on. The wanderers - the journeyers - have come full circle. Lost and Found. Lost and Awakened. Sleeping and Alive. Truth kicks you into Life - that's a good phrase. Being alive is feeling the wind on your face: the sensation of an energy greater than yourself enveloping you. Sensing the mystery of everything around you; the potential that exists to tap into. You can be part of that energy; tap into it like plugging in a socket to connect to that energy. Of course, the potential to connect is always there, but what do people do with it normally? They might sense it, but they do nothing, or don't get the opportunity to live... well, that's what they think anyway. Like you at the moment, Han. You're just moments away from flicking the 'on' switch, which will see you connect fully to this energy/potential. You're actually a bit scared still, as you toy with others' expectations and reactions. Honestly, you can flick that switch. Can you feel the angels in your back? (Yeah). You just need to have self belief and the ability to just connect and not think about the repercussions of what you'll unleash. Just travel the path. Wander freely. Converse. Interact. Create. Be led, willingly. I was. And I'm very glad I was."

Hannah Velten  53:18

So yeah, that's Christian's kind of final few words on the book. And we have actually come up to time almost. Yeah, the story is the purpose. Christian is the storyteller. And I'm the spirit messenger, I guess, for this. We have one part of this story, which we haven't finally tied up yet. And this is the camera cords that I've been talking about on and off throughout this podcast. But the onus is on Christian, in this life, to provide the proof of this story and also to make a much bigger audience for this story. So these camera cards - I don't know if I've really explained them before - they were stolen from him in Kita in Mali, K-I-T-A. And I have always been told by God {Hannah's nervous laugh}, by Source and by Christian all along, that these will be back in my possession. And with these camera cards/discs - so there'll be a film of Christian, plus his photographs - we will be able to, like complete this story: to be able to complete a seemingly impossible-to-complete story. You know, when you have a missing person in Africa that nobody's ever going to find, or find the story, we have got so far that we have been able to find peace, balance, rebirth - both of us - and to help other people. These camera cards are like the last piece of that puzzle. And I assume [Hannah laughs] that by the end of these podcasts - because we've done eight and we've still got another 16 I think to do - we will have these camera cards. So the intention is here: I will use whatever I receive, I will use; and use it to publicise our story. This will be how we will be able to really, really fulfil our purpose. So, there we go, I've set out the intention, and I'm calling the camera cards in. I am calling the last missing pieces to our story in.

Hannah Velten  56:24

There we go. So, lots of love. And I'll see you next week. I think next week, I'm going to do a bit of a round up. And I know there's quite a bit of agitation about moving out and getting back into real life after this COVID lockdown, so I think we're going to be helping with that. Okay, I hope you enjoyed this episode and got something from it. Okay, lots of love. And I'll see you next week. Bye.

Hannah Velten  56:53

[Recorded outro] Thank you for listening to "The Finder of Lost Things'. I think we've been triggered so long and so hard by COVID, and it's going to carry on. People are getting used to stillness and they're getting used to be more solitude. But how do you use that time for the highest good? This process that we're going to explore will bring back the joy and purpose to life. That wholeness, you know, that sort of harmony and flow and togetherness. People are really ready to find their last parts now. You can find me at hannahvelten.online