FRESH EPISODE: No need for nagging if we do this.
Oct. 18, 2023

59: Triggers and emotional spirals, also mobile phone bans and do schools know what to teach kids anymore?

59: Triggers and emotional spirals, also mobile phone bans and do schools know what to teach kids anymore?

In most episodes Rachel uses her journalistic background to trawl through studies and find out what a range of experts think about a topic. Susie brings her wealth of knowledge and experience of mindfulness and parenting to the microphone. Together, the two of us talk about the reality of parenting.

We're going to continue with that, but thought it might be nice to broaden the format to talk about current affairs topics, and how they affect us and our listeners.

In this episode we chat about the latest in teen slang; which can be hilarious. We also discuss the banning of mobile phones in schools, why it's happening, why it hasn't happened before, and what the benefits and issues are that surround it.

Also, we talk about exams. With the shift towards AI, is our education system really offering our teens what they need to equip themselves for being an adult? Are the subjects we study, and the way in which they are studied, still fit for purpose? Given that we can't get rid of AI, should we be incorporating it into the school curriculum?

We don't promise answers, but we're very keen to think about it, because these issues directly affect our teens.

We really enjoyed making this episode. What do you think? Shall we do it more regularly, or do prefer the research episodes? Would you like to hear more interviews? We're here for you (and to learn for our own sakes.)

CHAPTERS:
2:01 Teen lingo
7:10 Reviews
9:07 The things that trigger us are an opportunity to know ourselves better.
12:32 Getting stuck in an emotional spiral.
15:57 Mobile phone ban in schools

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Thanks for listening.

Neither of us has medical training so please seek the advice of a specialist if you're not coping.

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Our website has a blog, searchable episodes, and ways to contact us:
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Susie is available for a free 15 minute consultation, and has a great blog:
www.amindful-life.co.uk

Chapters

02:01 - Teen lingo intro

07:10 - Reviews

09:07 - The things that trigger us are an opportunity to know ourselves better.

12:32 - Getting stuck in an emotional spiral.

15:57 - Mobile phone ban in schools

22:00 - Overhaul of exams

32:57 - More teen slang

Transcript
WEBVTT

00:00:02.970 --> 00:00:12.449
Hello, and welcome to teenagers untangled the audio hub for parents going through the teenage years. I'm Rachel Richards parenting coach, a mother of two teenagers and two bonus daughters.

00:00:12.660 --> 00:00:19.800
Hi there, I'm Susie Asli, mindfulness coach, mindful therapist, musician and mother of three teenagers, two of them are twins.

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Now normally the format is what I've done the odd interview, but mostly it's me doing lots and lots of lots of research. And then we just get together with you with your wealth of knowledge to talk about it. And we thought it might be fun. And this is a tryout if you don't like it, don't give us no stars and tell us we're all just message us and we'll go okay, that's fine. We don't have to do this again. But we thought it might be fun to do something a little bit different. And we're going to call it news and nuggets. And what we'll do is we'll put the nuggets into this particular format, and also talk about some of the news stories that have been coming up. In a way this a little bit more informed. And the whole idea is that you get to hear us talking about things and the struggles we have. And you'll either agree or disagree with us, you can message us, we love to hear from you. And so when it comes to news, that's my background, I'm a trained news journalist at a post grad in it.

00:01:14.700 --> 00:01:26.400
And every single place I've been there's always the same format, you start off with the the top headline story, which is sometimes hard to choose, but most of the time, it's pretty obvious what it's going to be.

00:01:26.609 --> 00:01:44.370
And then you go down the running order. And then right at the very end is the fluffy dog story. Right? And that's just to entertain people a little a little bit of lightness to finish off the weather. But I'm in charge. So we're not going to start with hard heavy news.

00:01:42.000 --> 00:02:22.469
We're going to start with the fluffy dogs. brilliant thing fun. Yeah, I guess that was something about so the fun thing I'd like to start with. And we'll do a little review read in a minute. But the fun thing I want to start with is something I saw on Twitter. And it was a lady called Dr. Emma Cal who talked about teen slang and she said when I'm distracted by work and not listening, I get Don't leave me on read mom. No, no, it's really what's really funny about this is that this is something that our teens talk about all the time. You know, they don't like so you're supposed to respond immediately when you get a message on you.

00:02:22.860 --> 00:02:30.810
And they if they've read a message they say Mum Mum I need to I know I've got to respond straightaway I can't read it if I'm not ready to respond. And I find that really weird.

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I think it's a that's particularly for girls I think is it is not always without in my experience

00:02:38.429 --> 00:03:03.508
interesting girl. Okay, so specifically girls, but this is a thing you're supposed to do what a lot of them do is a Sideswipe. So you can Sideswipe so you can sort of see the message without showing that you. Yes, and you can see if someone's sideswiped you because I've noticed somebody particular size. I think on WhatsApp, you can see it they sideswiped you I don't know Snapchat, I don't know, I don't know, I don't have this.

00:03:00.449 --> 00:03:20.818
But I just hear it through my teenagers. It's very entertaining. But the funny thing was this this lady said that her teenager says Don't leave me on read. Yeah, when actually is Don't leave me on read. So if you read something you're supposed to respond straightaway. Ah, yeah, even the nuances are hard. Hey,

00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:24.569
I was it's amazing.

00:03:21.240 --> 00:03:26.490
I love this topic. And this is all news to me as well.

00:03:26.879 --> 00:03:32.189
I've got going on. I've got one other one which is she's an N PC. Do you know what that is? Yeah.

00:03:32.189 --> 00:03:42.180
Oh, that's sad daily in my house. Really? Really? Oh, I don't know. I honestly, I don't know half. Well, I don't know what the stands for. I thought it was NPC from

00:03:42.629 --> 00:03:46.409
be honest NPC is a non playing character. So they're an irrelevance.

00:03:46.439 --> 00:03:54.060
No, it's NPC Yeah, yeah, yes. Yeah. Oh, my kids call each other all the time.

00:03:49.139 --> 00:04:09.629
They call me that. Mom Don't be I thought it was M. But it's just don't be an NPC mom. And I'm like, what? Really? And actually every single day at the moment and it goes in phases, probably. But this has been a long face. I didn't. I do not know what you're talking about.

00:04:09.659 --> 00:04:24.329
What are you saying? Speak normally, because they have this wealth. Teamspeak was just really one of them. Actually, I love it. Well, yeah, it's really funny, but I sometimes like please, I just don't know.

00:04:24.389 --> 00:04:26.850
Maybe they're doing it deliberately. Probably.

00:04:28.589 --> 00:04:34.050
He thinks she's one of us. But yeah, maybe that's what have you got my CZ which one

00:04:34.649 --> 00:04:38.879
out? So I've got Liang she's laying Yeah, I've heard that one.

00:04:38.910 --> 00:04:40.769
Oh, what does that mean again?

00:04:41.129 --> 00:04:52.168
That mean she's beautiful or fit? Is that is clapped, which is horrible. I've heard that and have told people off for using that.

00:04:52.199 --> 00:04:56.158
Wow. Wow, that's that sounds like a venereal disease.

00:04:56.850 --> 00:05:07.170
Yeah, it's not as far as like No, it's not. But I've just revealed that I don't know what the will mean. She's such a pick me girl, or that's used.

00:05:08.069 --> 00:05:22.528
Yeah. And picked me girl is somebody who tries to get lots of attention because she wants to be picked up immediately. Yes, yes. And she may not say that she's just behavior is the behavior. Yes, it's an age thing. Here's another one. This is an ingredients only house, which means there are no snacks.

00:05:23.040 --> 00:05:26.550
Oh, yeah, no, that's not my house. So that's not used in my house.

00:05:28.470 --> 00:05:34.709
And a daughter when talking about a group of teens all dressed the same.

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Hashtag copy and paste, copy and

00:05:34.709 --> 00:05:55.620
paste. Oh, yeah. I mean, I did find a website. This is ages ago, and it was called Road man talk or road man speak or something. And I read it, and I was doing using it for something else. And it was so enlightening. I was like, Oh, my goodness. Like, I know all these words. And now I know what they all mean. But do they do you use them? I don't, but they do. I was gonna

00:05:55.620 --> 00:05:59.339
say, because I reckon if I actually tried using some of these words, they would be

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Oh, no, no, I don't use them. But it's like a translation book. Ah, that's what they're talking.

00:06:04.439 --> 00:06:07.199
So roadman speak, guys. That's what we need. Yeah, not

00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:09.240
all of the words.

00:06:07.199 --> 00:06:09.240
Well, you know where we live.

00:06:09.240 --> 00:06:14.009
Anyway. Very enlightening. What am I got here, paper kindle a book. That's quite clever.

00:06:14.579 --> 00:06:19.019
That's clever.

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I've got Brexit being used in two different ways. So Brexit being, you know, when the UK left the European Union, doing a Brexit, which is a savage tackle in football when no one benefits? Or yes, this was used in a classroom by a boy who said he Brexit heard her in it, which meant he dumped her and then he regretted it.

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Oh, it's brilliant.

00:06:40.920 --> 00:06:45.449
Oh, I like that. Yes. quite clever.

00:06:46.860 --> 00:06:58.680
So it isn't very creative ones out there. We might come back to this. Yeah, no. Incidentally, we are just found out we're in the global rank of podcast top 5%.

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She's amazing.

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Can you believe that? No, I can't we are sitting in a bedroom. Just chatting. And we've managed to do that. That's amazing. You guys. You're so wonderful. So supportive. Love all our listeners. Thank you.

00:07:10.079 --> 00:07:20.488
Thank you. I actually didn't quite believe that. I'm going to admit i i actually Googled it after you sent me that thinking she must have got it wrong. I found it

00:07:20.579 --> 00:07:35.098
great. Believe me. Yeah, I didn't know it's just I was listening to some people talk about how you can find out data and I sort of pumped it in and thought Oh, my goodness, that's that was quite a surprise. So a nice surprise, but it was a surprise. So you've got a review there.

00:07:35.129 --> 00:07:44.639
Love your latest episode. By the way. Thank you for sharing. I'm a child counselors are really useful for client sessions and therapeutic parenting. Oh, that's really nice to receive that. Thank you.

00:07:44.670 --> 00:08:00.360
Thank you wonderful. I'm not quite sure which one that is. But the other one was, it came through on Spotify. So on Spotify, you can now at the bottom of the podcast, it asks you what you thought of the episode and someone filled this in for us.

00:07:56.579 --> 00:08:06.720
And it was Kirsty and she said very helpful first parenting podcast I have listened to and will definitely listen to more.

00:08:03.660 --> 00:08:24.269
This was on the emotional intelligence episodes. So Well, firstly, thank you so much for actually taking the time to do that. I didn't agree to do it on Spotify. I know how well I think as a new Spotify trying to create better communities and a chance to actually have a conversation with people who are listening, which I'm all in favor of We Are Here we are interested in what you think.

00:08:24.300 --> 00:08:33.269
Yes. Do tell us if you don't like this, tell us if you do like it. Tell us Yeah, tell us what you'd like to include. So Suzy, your nugget,

00:08:33.870 --> 00:08:52.259
my Nuggets. This week is I've just written a post about it actually. And it's about it's just a real as a as a good reminder for me that the things that we get triggered in our kids are the things we can use to get to know ourselves a bit better, like self awareness.

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So when we get, you know, all of our triggers are an opportunity to look at, well, why am I being triggered? What is that saying about me? It's never, it's never a coincidence. So this morning, one of my kids who is very, very good at losing things, and had lost to put two pieces of his PE kit again. And I was like, and it's always at the last second.

00:09:13.679 --> 00:09:45.090
So there's no time to go and look properly. And it's really stressful. And that's it. That's a normal reaction. So it's a normal reaction to be annoyed by that I'd have no problem with being irritated by that. But I get really triggered by it. And I can feel because I've done lots of awareness practice, I can feel that that is different from normal irritation. And it's like a nanosecond thing, isn't it? It's a reactive thing. And I've I've looked at it before and unpacked it and it's because I am also I also struggle with being organized. That is a challenge for me to keep hold of my stuff and to be organized.

00:09:45.090 --> 00:09:52.080
That is something I've had to practice and have strategies for. So when he loses stuff or in the house, things get lost.

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It triggers my sort of my chaos and my kind of Oh no, I'm not sure I'm gonna be able to find that that goes directly into my own bag. Wow. So it's really useful information for me, Susie, that's amazing. Yeah. So when it happens in the moment, because I try and practice it, and it doesn't it I'm not perfect. I'm human. Instead of, you know, singing all about him, I can try and separate, okay, which bit is actually reaction to this moment? And what is actually happening in this moment? And what's my old rubbish? Yes. And try and leave that to one side and go, Okay, well, I'll look at that later if I need to. And then also have empathy with him because I know firsthand how annoying it is to lose it and to not know his stuff is. So like, I understand this is really annoying, you know, I also told him off because and go you better you better go like in the last property today, mate. Otherwise, it's going to be very expensive.

00:10:40.470 --> 00:10:48.990
That kind of thing, but that it's clean. And it's clear, and it's not being messed up with my own old stuff. And it's a practice I'm not perfect.

00:10:49.558 --> 00:11:14.818
I think we sort of talked about that in our divorce episode didn't we were you know, we were saying if you feel unreasonably triggered by something your teenagers doing, have a look at what's going on with my my husband does this he one of his daughters, he's quite similar. And, and whenever she leaves the milk out, he gets really close. But guess who leaves the milk out more than anyone in the family and opens bottle after bottle after

00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:44.070
projection, it's pretty classic normal, we get more annoyed by the stuff that we we do ourselves is classic psychotherapy. And it's but when we see it in our teenagers, it's even more trigger here. So it's really good awareness. So every time we feel triggered, and we don't have to do it every time because that would be that will be trying. But every time we get that kind of tension, that thing we know if he wants you, once you recognize that you know what it is, you can go okay, I have now have the choice to just unpack that. Have a look at that. Maybe not in the moment.

00:11:42.509 --> 00:11:44.070
But later.

00:11:44.100 --> 00:11:57.090
I think that's a brilliant tip and your point about actually noticing how it feels in your body. Because you've talked about that before that the sensation in your body once you can recognize it, and you can see it's different, then you know that you can focus on it, love it,

00:11:57.149 --> 00:12:06.208
and you can respond proportionately to the actual event rather than kicking off about your own stuff. Ideally,

00:12:06.240 --> 00:13:21.870
yes. Not always, quite often. But no. My nugget this week is actually because I've had two completely separate conversations with people. One was a teenager and one was actually a friend of mine, where they both ended up spiraling. And what I mean by spiraling is they were really struggling with something that was very, very difficult for them. And I was really in a fortunate position where they we were having a conversation and they felt I was safe to talk to about it. But I actually witnessed the spiral starting to happen where they they said, Oh, and this has happened, and I'm upset. And then and then and then and and they just went, I could hear it happening. It was amazing. And I you know with a teenager, I said stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, stop, just stop, breathe, breathe. And then I explained it in Oh, it's so interesting. It reminded me of when I was a journalist. And I'd gone on a press junket. And I was at NASA, lucky me. And they had one of those machines, I don't know if you can picture it, where you get strapped into, it's a circle, metal circle, and it pivots in any direction. And it starts off slow, and it goes faster and faster and faster.

00:13:19.320 --> 00:13:50.129
And they said the reason they designed this was they were trying to work out whether a human being who was in a spaceship that had lost its accent has sort of come off and started spinning, whether they could arrest the spin, and they can't. So it just turned into a fun thing to make people do. But it made me think of that. And the only way you can stop it is by stopping it. Like literally you have to press the off button. And I was saying to I said to both of them. When this happened, wow, Stop, just stop.

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Stop thinking. It's not an easy thing to do on your own. But you can. If you have somebody with you, you can be the person who says you need to stop thinking right now. And just breathe, because your brain has gone they've got stuck in this downward spiral. And I think I stopped and thought about and I thought I do have the ability to arrest that. But the way I do it is I literally think oh wow, I've I'm losing I'm losing things and I'm just gonna stop.

00:14:19.169 --> 00:14:21.809
Yeah, that's amazing awareness to witness it as well.

00:14:21.809 --> 00:14:49.289
I mean, it sounds a bit slightly akin to just before a panic attack where you are you're looping and you're you're spiraling your is escalating, and stopping and using your senses is a really good way of like that. So you get you want to get out of your head, which is all fear based, probably. And if you just snap back into the present moment where you can just go Oh, yeah, here I am, is to use your senses. You know, like wow, see? Well, for panic attack, it's Name five things.

00:14:49.289 --> 00:14:59.970
You can see four things you can hear three things you can smell, two things you can touch or whatever. One thing you can taste and then by saying all of that allowed, you have to be present and then you'll stop spiraling

00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:21.090
Brilliant tip, I knew you'd have a good time because because I do this instinctively, because I can tell that I'm really starting to struggle when I'm really starting to struggle. But it's obvious that adults and teenagers can really find this difficult. And they end up going into my work. My life isn't worth it any more up from from something than nothing.

00:15:21.090 --> 00:15:30.750
Yes, it's snowballing catastrophizing, there's loads of terms for it, but Bucha to get out of that washing machine nonsense, then we will have in our heads is through presence and through your senses.

00:15:30.808 --> 00:16:15.089
Great, thank you. So the other thing we're going to do is talk about new stories. Now we've in the UK just recently had the conferences of the political parties, specifically the Conservative Party, which is the ruling party and has been forever. And they were sort of talking about the things that they're planning for the next year or so. Or however long they're going to be running the country. And the government headline was the Department for Education wants children to be stopped from using mobile debate devices at break times, as well as in classrooms to tackle disruptive behavior and online bullying. So this is a kind of a ban, or maybe the headline was ban on mobile phones in schools.

00:16:15.688 --> 00:16:29.788
And it would it was really an interesting topic, because just before that came out, my daughter school and one other school that I know of implemented an eight until 430.

00:16:30.208 --> 00:16:33.239
ban on mobile phones, yeah.

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Which I thought, gosh, did they know something? Did they realize this was cut? What was what's going on there? What about you do you know if your kid or your kids not allowed to use your phones at school have

00:16:41.190 --> 00:17:13.470
this surprise me because I thought the general consensus in schools was that you can't use your phone in school times, by trusting mine go to a school where they get the train there and back. So to have a phone is is actually really handy. And they will have it I mean, they will have one anyway. But for practical reasons, it's handy because the trains are useless. They're always been canceled and all of that. So it's really, you know, handy and important, actually, at the beginning and the end of the day, but they're not allowed to use them in the daytime. And that's been like that for forever. And I just thought that I think my nephew's is the same.

00:17:13.470 --> 00:17:37.319
I just thought all schools had that rule already. I mean, they do kind of sneak their phones and send the text if you like, my daughter will send something if she's forgotten something, you know, something, the practical, she'll sneak to the loo and do it. But they're not allowed. And if they get caught, then you know, they they get, I don't know if they get their phone taken away. Or I can remember there's a consequence, but I thought I thought that was normal. So for it to be a big news story. It kind of was like really? Oh, okay. Well,

00:17:37.348 --> 00:17:41.848
that's the interesting thing, because someone said, this isn't news.

00:17:38.759 --> 00:18:00.298
They haven't been able to use their phones. Lots of other people said, thank God. Yeah, so clearly, there's no clear in the UK at least rules about having phones in schools when you're allowed to use them. And it the even with this, it would still be left to individual teachers.

00:18:02.098 --> 00:18:58.769
And a guy called Bradley K bush on Twitter actually quoted wrote a thread exploring some of the research behind the issues with mobile phones. One study found that just being near a mobile phone can reduce concentration levels by 20%. Poor psychological health, including increased anxiety, feelings of loneliness, and low self esteem, sleep and the impact on melatonin. These are all different studies that came up with issues to do with using mobile phones. And then, interestingly, delayed gratification. Various studies have found that frequent phone users experienced shorter attention spans. And the social skill side is an interesting one. Because one man said they've just banned phones in my kids school. And I went in and it was amazing, because suddenly, everyone seemed to be out talking with each other, and it just seemed very different.

00:18:56.459 --> 00:19:01.919
And he said, I asked one of the teachers what the impact have been. And he said, wait for it.

00:19:02.578 --> 00:19:03.929
Fewer toilet breaks.

00:19:04.470 --> 00:19:08.789
Oh, of course. This takes me when if she needs something, isn't

00:19:08.789 --> 00:19:10.829
that interesting loon does it? Yes.

00:19:12.539 --> 00:19:17.819
In this school, then were they just allowed to use their phones whenever they light than before? That sounds weird.

00:19:18.148 --> 00:20:37.618
I don't know. I don't know. And actually, if I'm honest, I'm not entirely sure when my daughter was allowed to use her phone in her school before but and she was delighted. Frankly, a lot of schools use yonder pouches so that when the kids come into school, you pop them into these pouches and they can't transmit a signal. So okay, they're offline. One of the things that I think is really interesting about this is the safeguarding side because having having seen a lot of people talking from the safeguarding perspective, the biggest issue is sexting and bullying, and I know all Have incidences where that you see, the schools don't know what to do like, what are you supposed to do? So for example, one kid filmed a fight on his phone, sent it to his little group of friends. And somehow it was sent off, and it ended up with the head teacher. The point being, you don't know who this is going to end up with. Yeah. And then the school felt it had to do something about it. And the other one was, you know, children exchanging explicit explicit photos. And if the school finds or somebody says something about this, or the school finds out about it, it's a really difficult safeguarding issue. So I think the schools don't this is a hot potato, they don't want to get involved.

00:20:38.068 --> 00:20:40.348
Yeah, absolutely.

00:20:38.068 --> 00:20:49.528
And it's really problematic for them, isn't it? In our country where most kids wear uniform? If they filming something in school, and they're in their uniform? identifiable? Yes,

00:20:49.559 --> 00:21:24.480
yes, yes. Or if they film the teachers in classrooms, any of that? The converse is that I've been contacted by a lady who has an Instagram account, which is fabulous alternative brains, and she she's dyslexic. Her children are dyslexic. And she talks about how, actually, if you have neurodiversity, this can mobile phones can be incredibly helpful in terms of planning in school hours. And also there's an argument that we are going to have to use them in the workplace. So there needs to be a transition where they get used to scheduling and using them.

00:21:21.690 --> 00:21:30.450
But I think when they're quite young, before they get to sort of theirs, we know exactly. I mean, these things are really like training

00:21:30.450 --> 00:21:32.519
toddlers to learn to like ice cream.

00:21:34.259 --> 00:21:39.630
It was quite, quite so I just thought it was a really interesting topic. I don't know what to do about the

00:21:39.660 --> 00:21:59.549
diversity thing, though, and needing and using mobile phones for structure because that my one of mine is quite dyslexic, and he always had a laptop in school, he was given permission to use laptop, he had to have the certain typing skills before you're allowed that etc, and use them in exams. And that was really helpful and beneficial. But I'd be interesting to see, well, what is it? What does a mobile phone give? That's

00:22:00.509 --> 00:22:20.940
because you can have and actually, my daughter has brought that up. And I said to her, Well, you need to have before you leave a classroom, you need to have on your laptop, a pointer saying this is going to be your next lesson. Yeah, it's very easy to set up. So it's, it's about helping them to create these reminders on their devices that they're using in the classroom.

00:22:21.089 --> 00:22:23.099
Yes, rather than saying you can use your mobile.

00:22:23.190 --> 00:22:23.519
Yeah.

00:22:23.609 --> 00:22:30.299
So this is I'd love to know what other viewers listeners rather. We don't have yours. Yeah, but you never know.

00:22:31.410 --> 00:22:35.670
What other viewers or listeners.

00:22:31.410 --> 00:22:46.950
I'd love to know what other listeners think about these topics. What about, what about the government announcement that it wants to overhaul 16 Plus education?

00:22:47.309 --> 00:22:49.890
Very interesting, very overdue. In my humble opinion.

00:22:50.368 --> 00:23:01.048
Oh, this is really interesting. So yes, because this it, this feels like a very English topic. But it's not. It's not that. So tell me why why do you think that's overdue?

00:23:01.380 --> 00:23:25.950
Well, I mean, he was talking about a levels wasn't he was, which is our final two years. I think GCSEs needed a big overhaul. I mean, I think the whole thing needs an overhaul. In many ways, don't get me started. But I think I think having this the idea, isn't it that they have more subjects. So we channeled down into three subjects, which is, you know, has lots of pluses.

00:23:22.140 --> 00:24:01.980
But eight levels are a massive step up from GCSEs. And for some kids, that's fine. But for a lot of kids to step up, it's really challenging. And it kind of it separates that it separates in a way that maybe isn't great, where a lot of kids feel they're unable to do that. So to have some alternatives, I think is a brilliant way and to make it more vocational, because you know, we don't need a whole load more academics. And I know a levels aren't, you know, the next step isn't academia. But it is a very much waited on academia. And to have more vocational subjects, I think is absolutely overdue.

00:24:02.549 --> 00:24:26.970
Fascinating, because what they're talking about is having rather than just three subjects, you take five subjects, English and maths are compulsory, but the other three subjects could be Prakash vocational, or they could be academic. And they're trying to broaden out the the understanding and the knowledge of teenagers. It's interesting, because I saw I did a little search because talking about GCSEs, which happened at 16.

00:24:23.970 --> 00:25:07.230
Here where you have these it's quite weighty exams. Sometimes they did. Well, it's interesting, because I read a couple of articles saying we are the only people who examined so hard at that age. And I then and in America, the high school diploma isn't dependent on these exams, but what they have is SATs which are commercial exams, which assess college resident readiness and you can take them over and over. From what I understand. I don't live in America, please correct me if I'm wrong. What I thought interesting was that it's not true. Now that we are the outliers, the there was a Cambridge study by Iran cassuto.

00:25:07.289 --> 00:25:25.349
That rebutted it, saying that 14 countries use external assessment at 15 and 16. And against seven that don't in the study, and these are high performing countries. So I thought, okay, that's, that's interesting. But still, what are we? What are we trying to do?

00:25:21.809 --> 00:25:34.049
Because I think I personally, I think the big problem we've got is that across the world, we don't really know anymore. What we need to be teaching. Okay,

00:25:34.079 --> 00:26:28.859
we don't, it's not clear. No, and I, what I don't like about it is that it's, and I see it, and experiences that, you know, these children who are and maybe in some places in some schools that this doesn't apply, but what I have seen is children who just are switched off from learning, they are just, they're being taught this. And this has nothing to do with the schools or the teachers. I think the teachers are wonderful. It's this is the structure and system that I have a problem with, is that they're switched off from learning and they're of an age where they should be hungry to learn they should be here is about the world they should want to know they should want to be, you know, sucking up all the knowledge if they find relevant, and you see it when they get interested in something. They're like sponges, but the GCSE model is like regurgitating, regurgitating, and it's focusing on what you're going to get retest and you need to know this for a result, rather than for the sake of learning it. That's my problem with it.

00:26:28.980 --> 00:26:52.349
I think we've got to, first of all, do you know I think in this country, we do we do that and Jeanette said the UK education isn't fit for purpose. She says that she thinks some people would struggle if you put in five subjects her kids would. tween teen mom says she doesn't think it's really what's best for our teenagers. She wants more research and conversations outside parliament. I did.

00:26:52.799 --> 00:27:39.329
Interestingly, I've got a friend who trains investment bankers for a living. So what happens is graduates who come into investment banks, they need to be trained in a quite a wide range. Of course, gills they want to make sure they've all got and that's his job. And he flies Hong Kong, New York, London. And he anecdotally said that the Asian countries are blowing the UK, out of the water in terms of their maths competency and their science competency. He said they just we can't touch them. However, in terms of interpersonal skills and disability to problem solve, he thinks we are doing far better. So the question is what are we trying to achieve here?

00:27:39.779 --> 00:28:02.430
And my husband says that, you know, in Asia, he says, oh, yeah, okay. Well, so China's doing really, really well in maths, you know, studies because they they approached it in a different way. But he said, you haven't had anyone when a Fields Medal, Cognos, he's, he's really his nerdy mathematician. But he said big, which is creative mathematician mathematics, said they don't come out of Asia.

00:27:59.190 --> 00:28:06.900
It's the European model that actually creates people who've got that comes come at it from a different angle.

00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:13.019
But you're absolutely right. Any change to any school system needs to start with from the place of what's the purpose of school?

00:28:13.230 --> 00:28:51.869
And why should we try? Because here's a fascinating thing, because I was talking on BBC sorry, recently, and one of the stories was this particular subject. And one of the other headlines I saw was that there's a chap it a Hong Kong University professor, who said, We need to stop trying to get people to write essays from the start and checking whether they've used AI, we need to actually tell them write your best AI essay. Yes, because we're gonna go out Yes. Well, well, interestingly, because I've I've tried using AI for podcast notes just because it's available. Yeah. It's awful.

00:28:51.990 --> 00:29:18.029
It's absolutely doesn't sound like me. It's It's laughable some of its garbage. So the truth is that there's a lot to be said for that. And actually, when you use AI, so again, my friend who teaches investment bankers, he does use AI to do some of his marketing, he said, we have to give them all the sources that that it needs to go to it then works through those sources, creates a standard document, like a foundation document, and then we work with that,

00:29:18.059 --> 00:29:22.859
yeah, I've used it a little bit with presenting and preparing for stuff. And I then like, some of it sounds amazing.

00:29:22.859 --> 00:29:39.630
So you pick bits out and then do my own bits, you know, it's patch patch work thing, but the going back to the schools thing, you know, schools were originally created to, you know, as a form of childcare, you know, when they first came came into being and

00:29:40.259 --> 00:29:45.869
well also to to create people who can work in factories. Yeah. And you know, how to do what they're told.

00:29:45.869 --> 00:29:46.710
Yeah, exactly.

00:29:46.710 --> 00:30:13.710
So it's, you know, and and some of some of schooling is maybe, you know, still influenced by that, and we need to modern Yes. And and use, you know, use the people who know what they're talking about, I think often, you know, governments they can Um, with, with educational policies, and I have a lot of teacher friends and family, you know, they don't, then I'm sure they do consult, but they don't always consult with the people who are the experts, they, they push things forward. And there's there's a sort of vote winner.

00:30:14.099 --> 00:30:21.569
And it's not always in the interest of the kids or the education. They're not using the the, you know, the massive wealth of experience that is out there. And the

00:30:21.569 --> 00:30:33.390
skeptics would say, they're actually just trying to divert attention from the real problems, which are lack of there's lack of teacher retention, lack of pupils even turning up to school, and the buildings falling down.

00:30:33.420 --> 00:30:44.430
Yeah, but anything that is more vocational is going to engage, I think, is going to engage more of the kids because when it's all about the academics, it turns off a huge, huge group of kids. Yes,

00:30:45.358 --> 00:31:45.838
South Korea, just just so we've got a round up of what happens elsewhere in South Korea, they have one of the most grueling entry tests for college, which is called the College Scholastic Ability Test is eight hours. And really, really, really, really tough. So they're on an extreme. In Finland, 66% of students do go on to college, which is the highest rate in Europe, and their children are consistently ranked highest achievers for math, reading and science. They don't even start school till they're about seven, yeah, different approach. And China, they place the emphasis on practicing mat and learning in groups. They're not it's quite individual in the UK, they'll set tasks and each individual works on things. It's a different approach in some of the Asian countries. I think the truth is there'll be there will be cultural things that will inform the decision about an education system. And then we need I think the biggest problem we've got now is, we don't know what how we're supposed to furnish our kids for the future.

00:31:43.558 --> 00:31:45.838
Absolutely.

00:31:45.839 --> 00:32:10.470
We're not not on a sort of subject matter where, of course we don't, because of the jobs that our kids will get, we don't even know what they look like, or anything like that at the moment. So how about we educate our kids so that when they leave school, they feel really good about themselves, they feel really comfortable, they feel they can be creative, they can really be who they are the best version of themselves, whatever that looks like. And then they will just fly with whatever jobs are thrown at them.

00:32:10.769 --> 00:32:39.930
And that so my daughter's having to do GCSEs at the moment, she's she's 15. And I keep saying to her, I'm much less interested in the grades you get, than what you learn about yourself. I'm having to go through the experience of, of learning. And I think we want people who are prepared to learn and who can continue learning because actually, I think we're not going to have one job. Most people are going to have multiple careers now. Yeah, and they'll just have the people who will win are the people who are prepared to keep learning and enjoy learning and interested

00:32:39.929 --> 00:32:54.628
in stuff, whatever that looks like and feel good about themselves that have you know, a resilience and have a have a sense of who they are and how they can interact with with fellow human snapped and they'll be fine. Whatever they do.

00:32:56.430 --> 00:33:05.069
So before we go a couple more little teens Lang's that came from this thread, you're not the main character.

00:33:05.369 --> 00:33:07.440
Yeah. That's a daily one in our house.

00:33:07.950 --> 00:33:14.160
I agree. It's great. Hey, and that's that's someone who's being attached to self absorbed. Or she's got main character energy.

00:33:14.759 --> 00:33:16.079
Yeah, that one? Of course,

00:33:16.079 --> 00:33:28.769
these are all really Yeah, resonate and talk in lowercase, not capitals. I haven't heard that one. And he or she doesn't touch grass. Oh, that's fine for someone who likes to stay at home gaming and doesn't go out.

00:33:29.250 --> 00:33:38.190
Okay. And when we have all the little ones of Bruv, and I can't even think of them, they just there were so many times you'd write them down.

00:33:38.700 --> 00:33:54.720
They're great, aren't they? I think we need a little less. I might actually put these into a list. Should I do that? And and not just finally, I quite like it's not that deep. Yeah. Which means it doesn't really matter. And my my daughter's often say that there'll be like sobbing about something that goes not that deep. Oh, I

00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:56.609
get that back at me.

00:33:54.720 --> 00:33:58.529
Like if I'm complaining about something. It's not that deep.

00:33:56.609 --> 00:33:58.529
It's not that deep.

00:33:59.579 --> 00:34:03.480
And then they use it as a verb. I dipped it, which means I thought about it.

00:34:03.509 --> 00:34:07.859
I haven't had you can put anything into a verb form. Can you apparently

00:34:08.039 --> 00:34:10.230
Oh, no, I know.

00:34:08.039 --> 00:34:10.230
It's quite it's very stressful.

00:34:10.230 --> 00:34:13.800
We need to learn we need to learn since you've got to keep learning. They just roll their eyes and

00:34:13.800 --> 00:34:19.530
go yeah, why don't you understand us? Using a whole different vocabulary.

00:34:20.219 --> 00:34:29.909
Keep up give up. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this new version. It doesn't have to stay this way. We can change the format completely. If you hate it, just let us know.

00:34:29.909 --> 00:34:32.250
But give us some feedback here.

00:34:29.909 --> 00:34:55.739
We're trying this out. It's been really fun. We're trying it out yet. You can reach us at teenagers untangled@gmail.com Hit the Follow button on your app or give us some stars. You can find more on the website www.teenagersuntangled.com And we're on Instagram, Twitter, LinkedIn. Susie Suzy she has her own Instagram account which is kind of like i Whenever I talk about things I'll link her so what's your circle my

00:34:55.739 --> 00:35:03.690
website which you can find all my social media links on and the website is WWE W dot a mindful hyphen life.co.uk.

00:35:04.019 --> 00:35:09.510
And she has those sorts of amazing tips like when you're going into a spiral.

00:35:06.449 --> 00:35:17.190
Here's how you cope. Here's how you get out of it. wealth of knowledge go to Susie. Susie She's really nice. That's it for now.

00:35:17.369 --> 00:35:18.269
Brilliant bye for now