I’ve learned a lot about people since my son’s suicide but I’m not going to go on with telling you about finding out who my real friends are. I know who they are. I knew who there were then. One flew from across the country to be with me, one flew across the ocean to see me at the funeral. One was in his car and at the house before the first responders had left, and so on.
This post is about the new friends, unexpected friends and bridges I thought I had burnt. This is about the things I didn’t expect or see coming.
I can say that my Facebook (social media friends) were incredibly supportive but it’s easy to be on social media. As we have seen with “Thoughts and Prayers” it is easy but doesn’t always reflect a sincere note of any depth of thought. It takes all kinds of people to make up this world and I was grateful for any show of support.
There were the four friends (all former co-workers) that came to the funeral together and have been there for me when I needed to talk. They know who they are, so I won’t embarrass them but collectively their support was both unexpected, welcomed and gratefully appreciated.
There was a letter from my birth Mother that arrived several weeks after my son’s funeral. Although I have never met her (while not since I was an infant) she managed to write me a beautiful letter with a message that both warmed and broke my heart at the same time.
Then there are the acquaintances that became dear friends and opened their home to make an event out of spreading our son’s ashes in Georgian Bay, on what would have been his 26th birthday will forever be in our hearts.
I learned what a generational condition stoicism is from my mom, who encouraged me to be grateful for the years we had with Pierce. It truly seems to be a wartime coping mechanism that works for some but not for others. I also learned that I am not a stoic person.
It’s been two and half years now and I still remember very vividly the kindnesses experienced including the local businesses that helped on short notice to make my son’s funeral what we wanted it to be as we celebrated his life.
So, in closing I would say this…throughout your life friends will come and go. While social media might give us a glimpse into their lives you really cannot begin to understand what they might be going through. Be patient and empathize, everyone has been through a lot the last few years.
