Aug. 22, 2024
Pirates of New York (Part 2) - "Love In The Age Of iPhones"
In "Love in the Time of iPhones," Captain Rusty Cutlass and his crew continue their fish-out-of-water adventure in modern-day New York City. As they grapple with the challenges of 21st-century life, from confusing plumbing to perplexing fashion, Rusty...
In "Love in the Time of iPhones," Captain Rusty Cutlass and his crew continue their fish-out-of-water adventure in modern-day New York City. As they grapple with the challenges of 21st-century life, from confusing plumbing to perplexing fashion, Rusty finds himself drawn to Kara, a kind-hearted local who takes the "historical reenactors" under her wing. But maintaining their cover proves increasingly difficult as they navigate the bustling metropolis.
With Time Square's bright lights, subway "sea serpents," and a chaotic shopping spree, the pirates' antics reach new heights of hilarity. As Rusty and Kara grow closer, will he reveal the truth about his time-traveling predicament?
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This show, along with hundreds of others from Caloroga Shark Media,
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is available commercial free on any player.
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Just look for the link in the episode or show
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notes Caloroga Shark Media.
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Hello and welcome to Romance Weekly. This episode is titled
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Pirates of New York, Part two. Love in the time
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of iPhones.
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The morning sun peeked over the skyscrapers of Lower Manhattan,
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casting long shadows across the deck of the Salty Wench.
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Captain Rusty Cutlass awoke with a start, momentarily confused by
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the strange skyline surrounding his ship. BlimE me, he muttered,
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rubbing his eyes. I was hoping it was all a
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rum induced dream. As his crew stirred, groaning from their
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uncomfortable night on deck, Rusty's thoughts drifted to Kara, the
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enchanting last they'd met the day before. There was something
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about her that made his old pirate heart skip a beat,
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a dangerous feeling for a man out of time. Meanwhile,
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across town, Kara was having a similar moment of disbelief.
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She stared at her phone, scrolling through the photos she'd
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taken yesterday of the historical re enactors at South Street seaport.
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They looked so real, she mused aloud, earning a strange
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look from her roommate, Emma. Kara, honey, Emma said, pulling
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on her running shoes, I think you might be getting
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a bit too invested in this pirate fantasy. They're just actors,
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you know. Kara nodded absently, but she couldn't s make
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the feeling that there was more to Captain Cutlass and
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his crew than met the eye. I'm going back to
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the seaport, she announced. Want to come? Emma shook her head.
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No thanks, I've had enough pirates Shenanigan's for one trip.
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Just be careful, okay. As Kara made her way to
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South Street Seaport, Rusty and his crew were facing their
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first major challenge of the day, modern plumbing. Captain called
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peg leg pete, hopping from foot to foot outside a
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public restroom. I can't figure out how to use this
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blasted chamber pot. It's got all manner of levers and buttons. Rusty,
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who had been watching a hot dog vendor with suspicious fascination,
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sighe for the love of Blackbeard man, just aim true
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and hope for the best. Their bathroom misadventures were interrupted
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by the arrival of Kara carrying a tray of steaming
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coffee cups. Good morning, pirates, she called, cheerfully, thought you
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might need a caffeine boost. The crew descended on the
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coffee like seagulls on a fish, slurping and sighing with delight.
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Rusty watched in amusement as his fearsome buccaneers were reduced
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to caffeine adult land lubbers. Many thanks, Lass, he said,
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tipping his hat to Kara. You be a true savior
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in this strange land. Kara beamed, but her smile faltered
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as she took in their disheveled appearance. Did you guys
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sleep on the ship? You know there are hotels?
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Right?
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Rusty and his crew exchanged panicked glances. I, Rusty improvised,
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we be method actors, you see, staying in character at
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all times. Wow, Kara said, impressed. That's dedication. But you
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can't keep wearing those costumes. Come on, let's get you
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some new clothes. What followed was a shopping montage for
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the ages. Rusty and his crew were led through the
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maze like streets of Chinatown, gawking at the strange sights
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and sounds. They stumbled into a discount clothing store, where
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chaos ensued. Cap'n cried, Salty Sam tangled in a rack
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of skinny jeans. These trousers be cursed. They're trying to
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strangle me legs. Meanwhile, one eyed Willie was engaged in
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a fierce staring contest with a Mannikin this landlod has
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got a mighty strong gaze, he muttered, circling his plastic opponent.
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Kara watched in amused bewilderment as Rusty attempted to pay
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for their new clothes with a handful of doubloons. The cashier,
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a bored looking teenager, merely rolled her eyes. Dude, we
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don't take Pokemon coins or whatever cash or card only.
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Rusty turned to Kara, his face a mask of confusion. Pokey,
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what las I fear? We've run a fowl of some
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strange custom. Kara, stifling a laugh, pulled out her credit card.
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Don't worry, I've got this. You can pay me back later.
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As they exited the store, now clad in an assortment
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of tacky tourist t shirts and ill fitting jeans, they
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found themselves face to face with a group of street
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performers dressed as the Avengers. A fast Rusty cried, drawing
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his thankfully fake cutlass. What manner of colorful brigands be these?
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Whoa easy there? Jack Sparrow, said the man dressed as
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Iron Man. We're just trying to make a living here.
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Kara quickly intervened, explaining the concept of cosplayers to the
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bewildered Pirates. As they walked away, Rusty couldn't help but
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feel a twinge of jealousy at the attention these Avengers
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were receiving. You know, lass, he said to Kara. In
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me day, pirates were the true heroes of the sea.
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Kara patted his arms sympathetically. Don't worry, Captain, you guys
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are way cooler than any superhero. As they continued their
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tour of the city, Rusty found himself becoming more and
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more enamored with both Kara and the wonders of the
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twenty first century. They rode the subway a metal sea
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serpent that travels underground, fascinated, visited Times Square by Neptune's
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beard It's brighter than a thousand suns, and even braved
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the dizzying heights of the Empire State Building. Throughout the day,
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Rusty struggled to maintain his actor facade while genuinely marveling
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at the sites around him. Kara, for her part, found
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his wide eyed wonder endearing, if a bit puzzling for
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someone who was supposed to be a New York resident.
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As they shared a hot dog in Central Park, after
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Rusty had nearly skewered the vendor for trying to poison
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them with mystery meat, Kara turned to him with a
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curious expression. You know, for someone who's supposed to be acting,
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you seem genuinely amazed by everything. It's like you've never
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seen New York before. Rusty froze his hot dog halfway
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to his mouth. He was saved from answering by a
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commotion nearby. Pegleg Pete had won into a group of
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break dancers and was now attempting to mimic their moves,
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his wooden leg clunking rhythmically on the pavement. Cap'n. He
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called out between spins, these street performers be practicing some
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kind of dark magic. They're moving in ways that defy nature.
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The breakdancers, thinking Pete was part of a rival crew,
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challenged him to a dance off. What followed was a
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spectacle that drew a large crowd a one legged pirate
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attempting to pop and lock against a crew of skilled
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street dancers. As Kara doubled over with laughter, Rusty saw
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his opportunity to change the subject. Lass. He said, taking
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her hand, would you do me the honor of joining
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me for a what do you call it? A date?
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This evening? Cara's cheeks flushed pink A date with you?
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I mean, yes, I'd love to. As Kara rushed off
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to get ready, Rusty gathered his crew. Lads, we need
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to figure out how to get back to our own time.
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You're the smartest of this, sorry lot, see what you
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can discover about time travel, Pete saluted, still out of
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breath from his dance battle. Aye, cap'n. I'll visit one
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of them book repositories and see what I can learn.
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That evening, Rusty met Kara at a small Italian restaurant
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in Little Italy. He had managed to clean up nicely,
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though he still wore his tricorn hat It's me Lucky
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charm lass. As they enjoyed their meal, Rusty declaring the
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pastor fit for Poseidon himself. Kara found herself falling for
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this strange, charming man. There was something so refreshingly honest
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about him, so different from the guys she usually met.
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So rusty, she said, twirling spaghetti around her fork, tell
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me about your life, your real life, I mean, when
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you're not playing a pirate. Rusty's fork clattered to his plate.
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This was the moment of truth. He looked into Kara's eyes,
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seeing the warmth and trust there, and made a decision. Kara, alas,
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I have something to tell you, something you might find
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hard to believe. But before he could continue, a commotion
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erupted outside. They rushed to the window to see peg
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Leg Pete running down the street, arms full of library books,
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with two security guards in hot pursuit. Belay that thought, las,
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Rusty said, grabbing Kara's hand, it seems me Kruby needing
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a rescue. Care to join me on a daring escapade. Kara,
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her heart racing with excitement, nodded, aye, aye, Captain. What
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followed was a mad cap chase through the streets of
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Little Italy. Rusty and Kara dodged tourists, vaulted over sidewalk cafes,
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and narrowly avoided being flattened by a runaway food cart.
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They finally caught up to Pete in a back alley
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where he was attempting to fend off the the security
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guards with a baguet he'd snatched from a nearby bakery.
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Stand back, your scurvy dogs, Pete bellowed, waving his bread
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sword menacingly. These books hold the key to our salvation. Caara,
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thinking quickly, stepped forward. I'm so sorry, officers, she said,
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putting on her best confused tourist voice. My friends are
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part of an interactive theater group. We're doing a show
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about time traveling pirates. It's all a big misunderstanding. The guards,
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more confused than angry at this point, decided it wasn't
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worth the trouble. Just return the books, okay, one of
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them said wearily, before they both trudged off. As the
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adrenaline of the chase wore off, Kara turned to Rusty
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with a mix of excitement and suspicion. Okay, what is
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really going on here? No actor is this committed to
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a role, Rusty sighed, knowing the jig was up. Las,
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you might want to sit down for this. It's a
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long story in a storm, a time vortex, and a
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whole lot of confusion about these pocket telephones everyone seems
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to have. As Rusty began to explain their true situation,
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Kara's eyes grew wider and wider. Part of her wanted
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to dismiss it as an elaborate hoax, but another part,
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the part that had felt drawn to Rusty from the start,
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knew he was telling the truth.
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Romance Weekly is a production of Calaroga Shark Media executive
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producers Mark Francis and John McDermott. Portions of this podcast
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may have been created with the assistance of AI.
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Calaroga Shark Media
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76
00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:21.240
77
00:05:21.319 --> 00:05:23.879
78
00:05:24.439 --> 00:05:27.839
79
00:05:27.879 --> 00:05:33.000
80
00:05:33.079 --> 00:05:36.040
81
00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:39.319
82
00:05:39.399 --> 00:05:42.360
83
00:05:43.120 --> 00:05:47.240
84
00:05:47.279 --> 00:05:54.399
85
00:05:54.439 --> 00:05:57.439
86
00:05:57.480 --> 00:06:00.199
87
00:06:00.240 --> 00:06:04.120
88
00:06:04.120 --> 00:06:10.040
89
00:06:10.040 --> 00:06:14.319
90
00:06:14.360 --> 00:06:18.720
91
00:06:19.079 --> 00:06:23.240
92
00:06:23.240 --> 00:06:27.160
93
00:06:27.160 --> 00:06:30.160
94
00:06:30.240 --> 00:06:32.319
95
00:06:33.680 --> 00:06:36.360
96
00:06:36.439 --> 00:06:39.279
97
00:06:39.319 --> 00:06:42.040
98
00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:46.399
99
00:06:46.720 --> 00:06:49.920
100
00:06:49.959 --> 00:06:54.480
101
00:06:54.480 --> 00:06:57.199
102
00:06:57.199 --> 00:07:01.000
103
00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:04.399
104
00:07:04.839 --> 00:07:09.319
105
00:07:09.399 --> 00:07:12.879
106
00:07:13.040 --> 00:07:16.160
107
00:07:18.720 --> 00:07:21.720
108
00:07:22.079 --> 00:07:25.160
109
00:07:25.160 --> 00:07:28.639
110
00:07:28.800 --> 00:07:31.560
111
00:07:31.560 --> 00:07:35.879
112
00:07:35.920 --> 00:07:39.879
113
00:07:39.920 --> 00:07:42.040
114
00:07:42.120 --> 00:07:44.839
115
00:07:44.879 --> 00:07:49.800
116
00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:54.079
117
00:07:54.120 --> 00:07:57.480
118
00:07:57.480 --> 00:07:59.319
119
00:08:00.319 --> 00:08:03.120
120
00:08:03.160 --> 00:08:07.319
121
00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:10.759
122
00:08:10.759 --> 00:08:12.839
123
00:08:24.920 --> 00:08:28.519
124
00:08:28.560 --> 00:08:31.439
125
00:08:31.800 --> 00:08:34.720
126
00:08:34.799 --> 00:08:38.840
127
00:08:38.879 --> 00:08:43.039
128
00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:47.399
129
00:08:47.440 --> 00:08:50.559
130
00:08:51.200 --> 00:08:55.639
131
00:08:55.679 --> 00:08:58.440
132
00:08:58.440 --> 00:09:02.919
133
00:09:03.279 --> 00:09:06.519
134
00:09:06.879 --> 00:09:11.279
135
00:09:11.720 --> 00:09:14.559
136
00:09:14.559 --> 00:09:19.639
137
00:09:19.879 --> 00:09:23.080
138
00:09:23.159 --> 00:09:26.879
139
00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:30.960
140
00:09:31.080 --> 00:09:34.960
141
00:09:35.000 --> 00:09:39.559
142
00:09:39.840 --> 00:09:44.639
143
00:09:44.759 --> 00:09:46.919
144
00:09:46.919 --> 00:09:51.919
145
00:09:52.279 --> 00:09:55.279
146
00:09:55.840 --> 00:09:58.080
147
00:09:58.440 --> 00:10:00.639
148
00:10:00.639 --> 00:10:03.440
149
00:10:04.120 --> 00:10:08.000
150
00:10:08.000 --> 00:10:13.399
151
00:10:13.519 --> 00:10:17.480
152
00:10:17.840 --> 00:10:21.879
153
00:10:21.879 --> 00:10:24.840
154
00:10:24.840 --> 00:10:30.200
155
00:10:30.440 --> 00:10:33.720
156
00:10:33.720 --> 00:10:38.000
157
00:10:38.000 --> 00:10:41.919
158
00:10:41.960 --> 00:10:45.039
159
00:10:45.039 --> 00:10:48.559
160
00:10:48.600 --> 00:10:51.480
161
00:10:51.559 --> 00:10:56.759
162
00:10:56.960 --> 00:10:59.000
163
00:10:59.039 --> 00:11:02.240
164
00:11:02.240 --> 00:11:05.320
165
00:11:05.360 --> 00:11:10.279
166
00:11:10.840 --> 00:11:15.759
167
00:11:15.799 --> 00:11:19.039
168
00:11:19.480 --> 00:11:21.879
169
00:11:22.480 --> 00:11:23.759
170
00:11:36.879 --> 00:11:41.080
171
00:11:41.080 --> 00:11:45.120
172
00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:47.480
173
00:11:54.000 --> 00:11:55.320
