Sober Up and Show Up

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Hello, everyone, and welcome to the Call Her Cat podcast, where we share honest stories

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of resilience and recovery.

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I'm Cat York, and my mission is to hold a supportive, honest face for candid discussions

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on addiction, healing, and breaking the mold.

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Whether you are exploring sobriety, navigating challenging family cycles, or working toward

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finding self-love and empowerment, these conversations are for you.

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My goal is to connect, heal, and learn what it means to redefine your story.

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As a gentle reminder before I introduce our guest, the Call Her Cat podcast is for informational

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purposes only.

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The views expressed by the host and the guests are their own personal opinions and do not

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constitute professional advice.

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Please consult with a licensed professional for any medical, legal, or psychological concerns.

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My guest today, Daryl Dittmer, overcame a tumultuous youth reaching a critical crossroads

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at age 19 to become not only a successful entrepreneur, author, but a life mastery coach.

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He is dedicated to helping others find their own success, self-respect, and lasting peace.

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His podcast, Show Up with Daryl Dittmer, offers practical insights and conversations with

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leaders, sharing his simple principle, nothing changes until you show up.

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He is the author of When I Stop Fighting, the Unexpected Joy of Getting My Head Out

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of My Ass, and also, When You Stop Fighting, The Road You're On Is Your Own Asphalt.

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Daryl lives with his wife, Christina, in the mountains of North Georgia, where a quieter

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life reinforces the same truths he teaches.

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And with that, I will welcome Daryl.

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Hi, Daryl.

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Hey, Kat.

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Thanks for having me on.

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I appreciate it.

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Thank you for being here.

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So is there anything that I missed in your bio that you wanted to add or correct?

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No, it sounded like too much, honestly, the way it was.

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There's a lot of that.

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Yeah, I just, when people ask me to, you know, describe myself, I say I'm, you know, a tall,

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sober dude.

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And that's about it.

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So I gave a brief background.

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Would you like to give us a little bit more of a background of you?

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Sure, sure.

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Yeah.

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Um, I grew up in the Midwest, and my dad was a mechanic, and my mom took care of us kids.

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It was kind of the, you know, the household of the, I guess, late 60s, 70s, whatever.

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That was kind of a typical household at that point.

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And that's what my parents chose to do.

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And I will say that my, you know, my upbringing, my upbringing was what it was.

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I mean, we were a very sort of, you know, I grew up Protestant, we were very work ethic

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oriented.

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My, you know, dad was a very work oriented guy.

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He worked a lot, just, you know, I had an older brother and a younger sister.

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And, you know, just to keep the roof on the house and food on the table and that sort

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of thing.

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And so that was sort of from whence I came.

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He was a, you know, he was also a Korean War veteran.

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So he was just, he was just kind of a tough dude.

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It was so...

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Can I, can I use...

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Yeah, you can swear.

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Okay.

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Yes.

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He was a nice guy, but he was a no bullshit kind of guy.

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My mom was also a no bullshit kind of gal.

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And that was just, you know, they're both pretty tough.

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Sometimes I think my mom was tougher than my dad.

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But anyway, you know, it was, it was what it was.

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And so as I got into my teens, I think, you know, we all start similarly, you know, on

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the road sort of going down addictions path.

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And I, you know, I was 13 years old, I took my first drink, I, you know, I was causing

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trouble.

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I almost got in a fight where I got my butt handed to me.

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And it was just, you know, one of those things where I just started being trouble pretty

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quickly.

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And so, you know, without belaboring, because I'm a big believer and I've been in recovery

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for a while now.

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And, and I'm a big believer that it's, it's about recovery.

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It's not about all my stories, you know, and, and because I think those can get sort of

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sometimes glamorized and like, Oh, I did this and, and I, I don't necessarily, and you know,

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everybody do what they do, but, but that's not where I like to put the focus.

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So the bottom line is I went through my teens progressed, you know, pretty quickly into,

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you know, more serious drugs and drinking.

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And it got to a point where that's all I wanted to do.

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Everything else, I just sort of threw away relationships.

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You know, the friendships were the ones that were like me and, and most of those guys aren't

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around anymore.

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They're, they're not alive anymore.

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So it was, it was it was progressing.

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I started, you know, whatever, thank God they didn't have the smartphones on because, you

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know, lots of criminal activity that I never got caught for, which was great, petty and

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otherwise.

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And, uh, and you know, it was, uh, and dealing drugs, all that sort of thing.

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And just so very consumed with the next drink, the next drug, the next high, the next whatever

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it was.

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And, and there was an intervention done.

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Actually, I was still 18 when that happened.

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And, uh, it was basically the bottom line was, you know, get over this stuff, go talk

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to a drug counselor or just get out of our life and, you know, see you later.

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So, so, and they left the decision up to me and, you know, whether or not I was equipped

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to make that decision.

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I, I don't know, but I decided that that's what I was.

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I was decided I was going to go see that drug counselor and I, and I went to see that drug

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counselor and, and I was planning on lying my ass off.

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That was just, that was just the plan with everything, just try to get out of it.

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And the moment I walked in the door, he was like, dude, you can't lie to me.

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Don't even try it.

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I know you're full of shit.

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I've been where you are.

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And he was sober at that time.

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Uh, and, and so he got it, you know, he got me and personality, that personality and whatever.

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So anyway, long story short, um, he basically said, look, dude, we got to get you into a,

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uh, inpatient treatment program.

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And I was supposed to go to this place in Minnesota, but they were full.

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And so I ended up going to a hospital program in the Detroit area and, uh, and a couple

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days before I went in and this is just kind of where I was at that time.

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I was at a new year's Eve party and, and it was December 31st and I just bought a bunch

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of dope thinking, okay, I'm going to get out of treatment and I'll have this ready for

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me when I get out.

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And I'm at this party and I'm probably around, I don't know, maybe a couple hundred people,

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whatever.

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But I am the most miserable, most lonely, most like disconnected I'd ever been.

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And I, you know, was seriously considering like, do I just end myself?

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And that was where I was that night.

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Three days later I was in treatment and, uh, and I'll, I'll drop it there.

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You highlighted something that I think is important and that at some point stops becoming

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fun.

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You know, it becomes like a necessity to get high.

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It's not even fun anymore.

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Right, right.

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Absolutely.

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And that's the way it was.

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It was, if I couldn't do that, I wasn't, there was nothing, there was just nothing

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because either I was doing it or my mind was conniving, how to figure it out, how to get

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back to that place.

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And, and you know, I'm a kid and I'm working and stuff at that time I'm working on farms

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and out in the, you know, we moved out to the country when I was younger and, uh, and

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so all that money and everything else and then dealing and all that kind of thing and,

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you know, lying and cheating and stealing the rest.

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Um, that's what it was about.

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Were you, were you contemplating ending it because you were tired of it all or you didn't

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think that you could, you had what it took to get a better life for yourself?

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Both.

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Yeah, definitely both.

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I would say that I was, I felt completely hopeless, like completely hopeless and it

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actually brings up a little bit as I talk about it.

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It's kind of sitting there and, uh, and yeah, just hopeless, like, like, I don't know.

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I couldn't remember what it was like to feel any semblance of happiness and I didn't see

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any as I looked out the windshield, you know, if I was capable of looking out the windshield.

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And were there any other, uh, people in your life who were trying to get sober as well

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or was it just you kind of on this path by yourself?

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It was me on this path by myself, but it was, um, there was a friend of ours who went into

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treatment probably two or three months before I went into treatment and he went into a six

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month program inpatient and, uh, you know, and he was similar to all the rest of us at

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that time.

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But, but moments after he got out, he was with us at this one dude's house where we

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used to always hang out and he was getting high and, you know, that's what six months

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of inpatient treatment, that's all I knew about it was his experience.

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I was like, oh, well, all right, I guess it doesn't work.

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So what was your experience like, um, getting sober once you're in the hospital?

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Um, the first thing that happened was I felt as though, and this was in the detox part

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of it, which I don't even know how long it was.

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I'm guessing it was three days or something.

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I don't even know.

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But, um, I'm, I'm in like laying on the bed and I remember I'm, I don't remember whether

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I'm facedown or face up, but I'm having this sort of alternate reality felt like a dream,

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but it felt real and it felt more real than a dream, but I didn't, I wasn't really conscious

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and, and I guess it was just the withdrawal symptoms, but I, but I was being pulled down

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into this dark place and I felt myself being pulled down and to a place that just scared

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me.

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It was, it was really frightening, but I couldn't stop being pulled down to this place.

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And it was dark.

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And anyway, I thought based on my Protestant upbringing that I, it was hell.

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Like I'm heading down South for the, you know, the long ride in hell.

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And, um, as they had explained it to me when I was younger and, uh, and I suddenly like

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became conscious and I was like, but I was, I was hanging off the bed.

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My body was like half on half off the bed and my head was down toward the ground.

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Like I was actually being pulled down and, uh, and then I woke up and that was the first

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part.

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And then after that, I honestly don't remember much.

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I know we talked about honesty.

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I know we talked about feelings.

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I know I was in groups.

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I know I had to, you know, like listen to, to counselors and lectures and be in group

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therapy.

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And they also took us into the 12 steps and they took us to meetings and, and I think

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it, for me and you know, everybody's different when it comes to getting into recovery and

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recovering and all that sort of thing.

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Completely cool.

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Whatever works for you.

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If, if sucking peanut butter jellies out of a straw works for you, I don't care.

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I really don't care, but 12 steps is what sort of what got me in the, um, when I went

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there, I saw people who were in recovery and I'm like, they don't feel like I do.

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They seem to feel much better than I do, you know, and, and, and cause they could come

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from the outside and come into these meetings at the treatment center.

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And so that intrigued me.

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And anyway, when I got out of treatment, that was where I had to hang out cause I couldn't

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hang out with the people that I used to be with.

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And you were very young getting into treatment because you weren't even 21 yet.

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No.

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You had lived to sound like a pretty hard path already by the time you even got to 19.

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Yeah.

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I was, um, I, you know, for whatever reason, it's interesting.

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And that brings up another topic.

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I think for me that, which I really feel is important because people can say, and I thought

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about this when I was younger, I'm like, well, I haven't lost a spouse.

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I haven't lost a house.

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I haven't lost, you know, I haven't done this.

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I haven't done that, you know, all this sort of stuff.

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And it's like, but what really matters is where I'm at in here and how, how sick and

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tired of being sick and tired at, am I in here?

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And I was sick and tired of being sick and tired.

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I was just done.

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And, and I think that's the crucial thing to distinguish cause we can get caught up

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in comparing stories and, and, but that doesn't matter.

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You know, somebody else's story doesn't matter.

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The only story that really matters.

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And I don't mean doesn't matter in the grand scheme of things.

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Of course it matters, but that's not the reason for me to like or dislike, you know, stay

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or not stay.

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The question is, am I sick and tired of being sick and tired?

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Have I had enough?

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And at that point in my life, at 19 years old, barely into my 19th year, I was, I was

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done.

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I mean, cause you brought up a good point.

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We can't judge what some, what something is going on on some of these insides, you know,

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we don't know what they're feeling, what they're going through.

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And just cause you hadn't lost a job or a family doesn't mean your struggle wasn't real

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and that you weren't on the verge of losing your life possibly, you know?

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Absolutely.

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Yeah.

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And I, and I feel like from that perspective and it's, those are hard things, you know,

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at least for me, it was a hard thing to admit that, you know, like, like it might not, you

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know, I'm going to do something that's going to take me out or take other people out or

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something, you know, because of the reckless way that I was living and, and I don't know

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how long I would last.

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But I was definitely, you know, kind of a nut job, kind of a risk taker and, and you

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know, that can't go on for too, too long without there being serious consequence.

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And once you found AA and you found like, you saw what everybody else had that you kind

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of wanted, you know, they were, had their lives together, they're probably more comfortable

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in their own skin.

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They weren't feeling like you were feeling, you know, I'm curious, like those around you,

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did they start to notice the difference in you?

237
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Oh, yeah, I would say.

238
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Well, fairly quickly, yeah, I was, I was starting to be different.

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And. I guess, you know, I was starting to not need to hide so much.

240
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Yeah. And I think that's probably the biggest piece of it that I was, you know, and

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incrementally because, because recovery is absolutely a process, you know, and there

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are some immediate benefits, you know, in terms of not poisoning myself anymore, all

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that kind of thing. And in getting the substance sort of garbage taken out to the

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curb so that I can actually begin to grow me.

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But, but it's a process and it takes time.

246
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And were there things that were noticeable early on?

247
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Yeah, I would definitely think so.

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But, but, you know, as time went on, I just as as different things became so important

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to me, you know, the things in here and then the things in here about other people became

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important to me. And that was a huge burden lifted.

251
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And as you're as you're going through life, you're now a newly sober young man.

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You know, when did you decide that you wanted to go down the entrepreneurial path?

253
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What did you start to feel like that was the path for you?

254
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Well, it's funny because nobody in my family had graduated from college, and so I was

255
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sort of like when I got through treatment, I'm like, you know what, I think I'm going to

256
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see what this college thing is like.

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And my parents couldn't pay for college or anything like that.

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So, so I did, you know, I worked and I had student loans and, you know, you get student

259
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loans and you think, well, it's not really money.

260
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It's not like I'm going to have to pay it back or anything.

261
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But that's what it feels like.

262
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Yeah, it felt like when I was young because I had no understanding of money and I had no

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understanding of debt or anything like that.

264
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So I know that's a circuitous route to get to your answering your question.

265
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But that's OK.

266
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So I decided to go to college and I thought, you know, wow, people's people's dads do all

267
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kinds of crazy stuff.

268
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You know, they're not just and being from the Detroit area, it was like, well, I thought

269
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everybody's dad either worked for GM Ford or Chrysler and either they had a mechanic

270
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suit on or they had a suit on and my dad had a mechanic's outfit on.

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And and so so.

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I don't you know, there's there's not a drop of blame in me or anything when it comes to

273
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looking back on my life, but but, you know, I didn't I didn't get the big wheel, you

274
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know, there's certain things I just didn't didn't have.

275
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And I was like, you know what, I'd like to see what life would be like if something if I

276
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had a different experience and and and I decided that I want that wanted that different

277
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experience. And I didn't really know what entrepreneurship was.

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I thought it was like this mystical sort of like thing.

279
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And but when I was in college and by this time I had started doing some carpentry work

280
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and and I got into college and I started building lofts for people for people.

281
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And I had these I had this little setup where I had my pickup truck and I had all this

282
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wood I would bring from the lumberyard and I'd throw it in the, you know, in the little

283
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quad area and I'd build these lofts and and I would pay guys in like six packs of beer

284
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to help me lift them up in people's rooms.

285
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Sorry for, you know, fomenting the problem.

286
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But but I did anyway.

287
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:04,880
Yeah. And and and so that was and I didn't know until, you know, not that long ago, it

288
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was an entrepreneurial activity that I was sort of doing that.

289
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So so and and and then I then I became a sales guy and then I started owning some

290
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businesses and doing real estate and things like that.

291
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So so it started with wanting to have a different life than how I grew up financially.

292
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But it morphed into this incredible growth opportunity because I was taking risks and

293
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doing things I was uncomfortable doing.

294
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And so it became the entrepreneurial route for me became a place where I was really able

295
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to grow.

296
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And the money part of it became much less important than the growth part of it.

297
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And and just from taking those risks.

298
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So it was it's been a really cool journey.

299
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So you found something that brought out something in you that was like a passion and money

300
00:21:03,479 --> 00:21:05,160
was not the main focus.

301
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But it was about that feeling that it gave you doing something that was productive and

302
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that you enjoyed.

303
00:21:10,599 --> 00:21:12,800
For sure. Yeah, for sure.

304
00:21:12,800 --> 00:21:15,599
And and and that has morphed over time.

305
00:21:15,599 --> 00:21:19,719
I'm a I'm a person of varied interests.

306
00:21:19,719 --> 00:21:25,920
And so, you know, I've done I've done a few different things from an entrepreneurial

307
00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:31,319
perspective. And now what I'm you know, what I'm doing is is different than all the other

308
00:21:31,319 --> 00:21:32,640
stuff that I had done.

309
00:21:33,079 --> 00:21:37,079
Yeah. And it scares the hell out of me, just like the stuff back then scared the hell out

310
00:21:37,079 --> 00:21:41,439
of me. And and which is completely cool.

311
00:21:41,439 --> 00:21:43,959
I don't mind having the hell scared out of me.

312
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The only question is, am I going to move toward it or am I going to go try to go around

313
00:21:48,719 --> 00:21:56,479
it? And for me, moving toward it is is where that growth part sort of kicks off for me.

314
00:21:57,800 --> 00:22:02,079
And I was listening to one of your episodes yesterday, and you touched on it briefly,

315
00:22:02,079 --> 00:22:03,839
that it was part of your journey.

316
00:22:04,359 --> 00:22:06,160
It's how you initially got sober.

317
00:22:06,760 --> 00:22:08,239
And what?

318
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:15,920
And I was a member of AA for quite some time, and it has a lot of beautiful, beautiful

319
00:22:15,920 --> 00:22:20,599
things about the community is wonderful and getting active, being accountable.

320
00:22:20,760 --> 00:22:27,760
It's, you know, finding a spiritual aspect to your life definitely are good foundations.

321
00:22:28,520 --> 00:22:33,199
What would you say helps you now stay grounded in your sobriety?

322
00:22:34,319 --> 00:22:36,400
Yeah, and I I did.

323
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:42,000
Yeah, for several years I was in it and around it and really in it and, you know, helping

324
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,119
and starting meetings and all that sort of stuff.

325
00:22:45,680 --> 00:22:53,439
And like exactly like you said, Kat, it's a real it's a great foundation.

326
00:22:53,760 --> 00:23:03,439
But as I started to think a little differently about things, I found that, you know, I can

327
00:23:03,439 --> 00:23:12,439
say I'm recovered, you know, I'm allowed to be recovered and I'm allowed to to not I'm

328
00:23:12,439 --> 00:23:13,719
not scared of drinking.

329
00:23:13,719 --> 00:23:15,199
I'm not scared of drugs.

330
00:23:15,199 --> 00:23:18,920
I'm not, you know, like, oh, man, it's just going to jump, you know.

331
00:23:19,160 --> 00:23:26,760
So there are certain things that that I think we can sort of leave behind as we move

332
00:23:26,760 --> 00:23:27,880
ourselves forward.

333
00:23:28,560 --> 00:23:35,079
And and so what it's not even about being sober anymore, being away from drinking and

334
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:40,319
drugs. It's about for me at this point in my life, it's about what can I give back to

335
00:23:40,680 --> 00:23:45,920
to people and to the planet and to, you know, who can I help?

336
00:23:46,599 --> 00:23:48,959
And because.

337
00:23:50,280 --> 00:23:56,280
Because that's really, you know, there's a circular nature to all this stuff, and and

338
00:23:56,280 --> 00:24:03,359
so, you know, am I I can't just take and then, oh, yeah, thanks, guys, you know, I

339
00:24:03,359 --> 00:24:06,319
appreciate everybody going through everything they went through to help me.

340
00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:11,880
But then if I'm not giving it away, what have I actually done?

341
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:14,319
You know, that's how I perceive this whole thing.

342
00:24:14,319 --> 00:24:23,800
So so what helps me is being very attuned to what can I provide other people to help

343
00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:27,479
them learn? And it doesn't have to do just with sobriety or recovery.

344
00:24:27,479 --> 00:24:31,119
It has to do with can I help them in business?

345
00:24:31,119 --> 00:24:32,400
Can I help them in sales?

346
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:34,040
Can I help them in relationships?

347
00:24:34,040 --> 00:24:41,280
Can I help them with a question they may have, you know, that I've that I had 20 or 30

348
00:24:41,319 --> 00:24:47,680
years ago, you know, that that I I know what my experience wrought for me.

349
00:24:48,079 --> 00:24:49,439
Can I pass that on?

350
00:24:50,119 --> 00:24:53,520
I can't learn their lessons for them, but maybe I can give them some things to look out

351
00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:58,160
for. And so that's that's really what keeps me cranking along these days.

352
00:24:59,199 --> 00:25:02,920
No, I think you highlighted a nice point of how giving back.

353
00:25:04,199 --> 00:25:08,760
It is important and can help really all of us, you know, because there's a circular

354
00:25:08,760 --> 00:25:13,520
nature to this, like, you know, what if somebody helps you, I would say you have an

355
00:25:13,520 --> 00:25:17,760
obligation to help somebody, but it really benefits you and the person you're helping.

356
00:25:19,160 --> 00:25:25,560
You know, yeah, you know, the nice circular nature to it, like you said, and at what

357
00:25:25,560 --> 00:25:30,439
point in your in your journey did you did you start wanting to become a coach?

358
00:25:31,959 --> 00:25:37,760
That wasn't that long ago, and because I because I wanted to.

359
00:25:37,760 --> 00:25:45,560
So the story is probably 20 years ago, I was, you know, 20 years into recovery.

360
00:25:45,560 --> 00:25:53,680
I met my now wife and and I would tell her stories of me and my youth.

361
00:25:53,680 --> 00:25:59,239
And she's like she's like, dude, I'm I'm not I'm not seeing it.

362
00:25:59,239 --> 00:26:01,160
You know, I'm not seeing that guy.

363
00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:04,880
I'm not seeing that that, you know, messed up guy.

364
00:26:04,880 --> 00:26:07,959
And I said, well, remind me to write a book someday.

365
00:26:07,959 --> 00:26:10,959
So so, you know, we talked about that.

366
00:26:10,959 --> 00:26:15,040
I probably wrote three paragraphs over the next 18 years or something.

367
00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:21,680
And I had this little folder in my computer, you know, like the book and it just sort of

368
00:26:21,680 --> 00:26:23,479
sat there forever.

369
00:26:24,479 --> 00:26:27,880
And anyway, so I started writing the book and I got through the first book.

370
00:26:27,880 --> 00:26:32,920
And once I started, you know, just that personality, right, like you just for me, it

371
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:34,520
just like when I'm on it, I'm on it.

372
00:26:34,520 --> 00:26:37,880
So it took about, I don't know, two to three months to write the first book.

373
00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:40,319
I started and then I then I kept going.

374
00:26:40,319 --> 00:26:43,199
I wrote another one because I was like, you know, it's not all out of me.

375
00:26:44,359 --> 00:26:47,199
So I wrote another one, which are the two that you referenced.

376
00:26:47,199 --> 00:26:52,479
And and it's not easy to get books into people's hands.

377
00:26:52,520 --> 00:26:58,880
And and so that's an interesting dilemma in and of itself that I wasn't aware of.

378
00:26:59,880 --> 00:27:04,199
And so people are like, well, you know, is there something else that you can sort of

379
00:27:04,199 --> 00:27:07,319
round out what you're doing with?

380
00:27:07,599 --> 00:27:10,800
And I thought, well, you know, could I help people?

381
00:27:10,800 --> 00:27:11,680
Could I teach people?

382
00:27:11,680 --> 00:27:12,640
Could I coach people?

383
00:27:12,640 --> 00:27:16,319
And I've never been a big fan of the quote unquote life coach thing.

384
00:27:16,839 --> 00:27:20,160
Right. I just it's just, you know, whatever.

385
00:27:20,160 --> 00:27:23,400
That's just me. And I'm not even a big fan now.

386
00:27:23,920 --> 00:27:28,880
But also, but I want to I want to help people.

387
00:27:28,880 --> 00:27:32,079
And I was I asked some people, like, what do I say?

388
00:27:32,079 --> 00:27:33,719
What do I call myself?

389
00:27:33,719 --> 00:27:35,880
And they're like, well, people like to be coached.

390
00:27:35,880 --> 00:27:39,560
And I'm like, OK, I you know, that's all right.

391
00:27:39,839 --> 00:27:41,359
But I'm not a basketball coach.

392
00:27:41,359 --> 00:27:46,839
And I'm you know, I'm I want to help people with with themselves and their lives

393
00:27:46,839 --> 00:27:49,000
and how they experience this journey.

394
00:27:49,920 --> 00:27:53,119
How was how was it like for you when you got your first

395
00:27:53,680 --> 00:27:58,119
your first, I guess, client to come and like, how were you scared?

396
00:27:58,119 --> 00:28:00,680
Were you nervous? And you're like, oh, yeah.

397
00:28:02,520 --> 00:28:04,599
Yeah, it's I mean, it's

398
00:28:04,599 --> 00:28:09,079
but but the difference between so scared

399
00:28:09,839 --> 00:28:13,920
when it stops me is one thing scared when I move to it

400
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:17,680
and through it is another thing and scared when it stops me, keeps me scared.

401
00:28:18,479 --> 00:28:22,280
Right. Scared when I move toward it alleviates that fear.

402
00:28:22,280 --> 00:28:26,239
So I've I've learned over time that it's OK to be scared.

403
00:28:26,800 --> 00:28:31,199
It's just how do I proceed forward after I'm scared?

404
00:28:31,199 --> 00:28:36,040
And so so it's not so like I can talk to people and and,

405
00:28:36,680 --> 00:28:40,880
you know, my honestly, Cat, and I'll tell you this, like people look at me now

406
00:28:40,880 --> 00:28:42,760
and they're like, dude, really, you have a podcast.

407
00:28:42,760 --> 00:28:44,839
You're on podcasts like what's going on?

408
00:28:44,839 --> 00:28:46,959
Like, not you. Really, you.

409
00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:51,000
You know, because I'm not the public facing guy.

410
00:28:51,000 --> 00:28:53,959
I'd like I'd rather I'd rather be off in the corner.

411
00:28:53,959 --> 00:28:57,199
And if somebody just comes to me without me having to be out there,

412
00:28:57,239 --> 00:28:59,920
you know, I'd be I'd much prefer that, you know.

413
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:03,800
But anyway, so it's.

414
00:29:05,160 --> 00:29:06,560
Yeah, it is scary.

415
00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,680
And and I'm starting to do I'm starting to help people

416
00:29:09,680 --> 00:29:12,280
with business stuff and sales stuff,

417
00:29:13,079 --> 00:29:17,479
but from the not from the perspective of, you know,

418
00:29:18,319 --> 00:29:21,400
here's how you how many calls you have to do and here's,

419
00:29:21,400 --> 00:29:23,040
you know, how to what to do with your money.

420
00:29:23,040 --> 00:29:27,280
It has to do with building oneself

421
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:31,400
so that they can withstand the difficulties inherent

422
00:29:31,760 --> 00:29:35,880
with being an entrepreneur or a salesperson.

423
00:29:35,880 --> 00:29:36,800
Deal with the nose.

424
00:29:36,800 --> 00:29:37,959
Deal with the rejection.

425
00:29:37,959 --> 00:29:39,439
Deal with being ghosted.

426
00:29:39,439 --> 00:29:42,160
Deal with people telling you to go screw yourself.

427
00:29:42,160 --> 00:29:44,520
Like all that sort of stuff. Right. Right.

428
00:29:44,560 --> 00:29:45,760
And that's difficult.

429
00:29:45,760 --> 00:29:48,880
Like that really bothered me in the beginning because I'm like

430
00:29:49,319 --> 00:29:53,479
I'm used to shoveling cow and pig manure and building stuff out of wood.

431
00:29:53,599 --> 00:29:58,439
You know, like that's all pretty isolated stuff.

432
00:29:58,439 --> 00:30:02,760
But, you know, the whole being out there in the fray, like, man, people.

433
00:30:02,920 --> 00:30:06,800
And I didn't understand, you know, and I was a I was a liar

434
00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,800
cheating the thief at one point in my life, but I didn't understand

435
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,280
how people could be so dishonest.

436
00:30:12,280 --> 00:30:13,839
What's wrong with you?

437
00:30:13,839 --> 00:30:16,920
And I'm sure they were saying the same thing about me when I was younger.

438
00:30:18,079 --> 00:30:22,479
So you don't your your your coaching is about.

439
00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:24,560
It's not based on sales.

440
00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:25,680
It's not based on money.

441
00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:29,199
It's not based on profits based on helping the person

442
00:30:29,199 --> 00:30:31,800
be able to navigate the challenges that come with business.

443
00:30:31,800 --> 00:30:32,640
Is that correct?

444
00:30:32,640 --> 00:30:35,239
Absolutely. Yeah, absolutely.

445
00:30:36,239 --> 00:30:38,839
Because because it is difficult.

446
00:30:38,839 --> 00:30:40,400
Absolutely.

447
00:30:40,400 --> 00:30:42,079
And do you where do you think?

448
00:30:42,079 --> 00:30:45,719
And I'm kind of curious your perspective on when it comes to sales

449
00:30:45,719 --> 00:30:50,079
and, you know, businesses or salesmen, where do you think?

450
00:30:52,160 --> 00:30:54,280
They may get it wrong.

451
00:30:54,280 --> 00:30:59,160
As far as do they get it wrong by just pursuing the dollar, pursuing the profit?

452
00:30:59,760 --> 00:31:03,800
Is that where you think the mistakes may happen or they kind of lose themselves

453
00:31:04,040 --> 00:31:06,359
and just going after the money?

454
00:31:06,359 --> 00:31:08,239
I think that's a big part of it.

455
00:31:08,239 --> 00:31:13,239
And and, you know, one of the things that I've discovered with just because

456
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:17,680
recovery has made me very curious about life

457
00:31:17,680 --> 00:31:23,280
and about living and about philosophies and about why people do what they do

458
00:31:23,280 --> 00:31:26,640
and why they live the way they live and why they believe the way they believe

459
00:31:26,640 --> 00:31:27,880
and all those sorts of things.

460
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:32,599
And and so, you know, and I've investigated a lot of things.

461
00:31:32,599 --> 00:31:35,400
I've investigated, you know, different religions and philosophies.

462
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,319
And I and I love that. And I really do. I love it.

463
00:31:39,680 --> 00:31:43,920
And and that's another thing that sort of keeps me going and keeps me curious.

464
00:31:43,920 --> 00:31:49,239
But but what I discovered is there's there's elements to life

465
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:54,160
and we'll call it five elements to life or pillars to life.

466
00:31:54,160 --> 00:31:56,800
And one is my body.

467
00:31:57,040 --> 00:31:58,640
One is my mind. One is my heart.

468
00:31:58,640 --> 00:32:01,880
And one is my soul. And one is my financial life.

469
00:32:01,880 --> 00:32:05,640
And unfortunately, it takes not unfortunately, but it does.

470
00:32:05,640 --> 00:32:08,040
It takes money to get through this life.

471
00:32:08,040 --> 00:32:10,520
And right. And we have to have it.

472
00:32:10,520 --> 00:32:11,959
We don't have to have a ton of it.

473
00:32:11,959 --> 00:32:15,920
We have to have enough to, you know, when when my boys used to say,

474
00:32:16,520 --> 00:32:19,640
you know, I need this. I need this baseball bat. I need this.

475
00:32:19,640 --> 00:32:22,359
You know, I'd be like, well, no, actually, you need food, clothing, shelter.

476
00:32:22,359 --> 00:32:26,439
All the other stuff that you think you need is things that you want. Right.

477
00:32:26,839 --> 00:32:30,560
And so when I'm when I'm coaching and training people,

478
00:32:31,359 --> 00:32:36,359
what I want them to do is understand that it's not just the financial piece.

479
00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:40,479
You know, it's how they build themselves from a health perspective,

480
00:32:40,479 --> 00:32:44,920
mental and physical, and how they build themselves from an emotional perspective

481
00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,839
and how they build themselves from a spiritual perspective.

482
00:32:47,839 --> 00:32:50,000
If if that's right.

483
00:32:50,000 --> 00:32:53,719
And, you know, can people can choose to call it whatever they want?

484
00:32:53,719 --> 00:32:56,079
I don't care. You know, it doesn't matter.

485
00:32:56,079 --> 00:32:59,719
There is no, you know, one quote that I love is that

486
00:33:00,359 --> 00:33:03,839
I forget who said it, but I apologize to whoever said it.

487
00:33:03,839 --> 00:33:08,760
But he said there are 5000, you know,

488
00:33:09,640 --> 00:33:14,000
religions or religious traditions or ways of looking at God on this planet.

489
00:33:14,400 --> 00:33:16,839
But don't worry, yours is the only one that's right.

490
00:33:17,560 --> 00:33:21,239
And it's it's like it's like, you know,

491
00:33:21,239 --> 00:33:25,560
everybody's got their either belief or capacity for belief

492
00:33:25,560 --> 00:33:29,599
or they believe in, you know, nothingness or whatever it is.

493
00:33:29,599 --> 00:33:31,719
And that's fine.

494
00:33:31,719 --> 00:33:36,239
So I want people to just explore,

495
00:33:36,439 --> 00:33:39,920
you know, that there's maybe something maybe you can just call it energy

496
00:33:40,119 --> 00:33:45,640
that's taken inside here that when I go away,

497
00:33:46,040 --> 00:33:49,400
they say he's gone, even though my body's laying right there.

498
00:33:49,479 --> 00:33:51,719
Then well, then what left?

499
00:33:51,719 --> 00:33:53,640
You know, is it is it energy?

500
00:33:53,640 --> 00:33:58,680
So so I try to round out the offerings in terms of what we pay attention to

501
00:33:58,680 --> 00:34:01,560
and give all of those.

502
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,119
Credence and importance, and so that

503
00:34:05,520 --> 00:34:09,120
so that if I'm building a financial life,

504
00:34:09,159 --> 00:34:13,479
I can also build, you know, and round out the rest of my life so that I'm

505
00:34:14,040 --> 00:34:18,760
when I have some finances or additional finances,

506
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:23,760
I'm also treating myself and life in a way that that honors

507
00:34:23,760 --> 00:34:26,760
and, you know, gives reverence to life.

508
00:34:27,520 --> 00:34:30,760
Right. No, I like that, because I think in this society,

509
00:34:30,760 --> 00:34:33,120
we get so wrapped up in what do you have?

510
00:34:33,120 --> 00:34:37,239
But don't you have the nicest car, clothes, jewelry?

511
00:34:37,239 --> 00:34:39,560
And of course, everybody's highlight reel on Instagram.

512
00:34:40,000 --> 00:34:42,639
You know, you know, we get so caught up in that.

513
00:34:43,360 --> 00:34:47,959
But I think we get a very skewed view of maybe what success is.

514
00:34:49,159 --> 00:34:51,959
And I know that's different for everybody, how success

515
00:34:52,080 --> 00:34:54,239
people define their own success in life.

516
00:34:54,639 --> 00:34:56,560
How do you define success in your life?

517
00:34:58,320 --> 00:35:01,360
I would say probably

518
00:35:02,239 --> 00:35:05,280
at least 25 years ago,

519
00:35:05,800 --> 00:35:10,959
based on getting my ass handed to me a thousand times

520
00:35:11,719 --> 00:35:14,679
in business and, you know, in life and whatever,

521
00:35:16,120 --> 00:35:18,600
because that happens whether we want it to or not.

522
00:35:18,600 --> 00:35:20,199
It just happens.

523
00:35:20,199 --> 00:35:22,800
And that's part of that's part of being here.

524
00:35:22,800 --> 00:35:27,520
And and so my definition of success became as simple as

525
00:35:27,800 --> 00:35:31,320
and there's a lot that goes into it, but how I explain it is

526
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:36,000
waking up in the morning with a smile on my face is success.

527
00:35:37,320 --> 00:35:40,520
And that has to do with how I treat my body, my mind,

528
00:35:40,520 --> 00:35:43,159
my heart, my soul and my finances.

529
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,399
No, that's good, because if you if you look at yourself

530
00:35:47,399 --> 00:35:50,679
and your life as this complete package versus just focusing on money,

531
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:54,280
sounds like what you're saying, everything can improve,

532
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:58,760
not just your business, but your personal, your spiritual.

533
00:35:58,760 --> 00:36:01,159
Everything can can improve.

534
00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:05,840
Absolutely. And I have known a lot of very, very,

535
00:36:05,840 --> 00:36:10,919
very miserable people who have tons of money. Yeah.

536
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:13,919
And not to say that money.

537
00:36:15,080 --> 00:36:17,959
Makes them miserable, but

538
00:36:18,600 --> 00:36:20,040
because I don't think money,

539
00:36:20,040 --> 00:36:22,600
I think money makes people more of what they already are.

540
00:36:23,199 --> 00:36:26,199
And so if I if I'm building myself

541
00:36:26,199 --> 00:36:30,439
because there's a lot of really wonderful people with a lot of money

542
00:36:31,320 --> 00:36:33,199
and there's miserable people with a lot of money

543
00:36:33,199 --> 00:36:35,479
and there's, you know, wonderful people with no money

544
00:36:35,479 --> 00:36:37,120
and there's miserable people with no money.

545
00:36:37,120 --> 00:36:39,000
So it's not the money.

546
00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:43,239
It's how am I treating the entirety of my life?

547
00:36:44,080 --> 00:36:46,239
Yeah, no, that's an important distinction,

548
00:36:46,239 --> 00:36:49,679
because you do see these millionaires who have all this money

549
00:36:50,120 --> 00:36:54,760
and still they battle addiction, you know, they battle mental health.

550
00:36:54,760 --> 00:36:58,000
And there's still there's still something missing in their life

551
00:36:58,000 --> 00:37:00,040
that's keeping them from true happiness.

552
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:04,719
And there was something that Jim Carrey said one time, he said,

553
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:07,439
I wish everybody could have money to know that it's not the answer.

554
00:37:09,000 --> 00:37:12,159
You know, and I think that kind of resonates kind of what you're saying

555
00:37:12,159 --> 00:37:14,840
is that it's not shouldn't be what you're going after.

556
00:37:15,639 --> 00:37:17,600
You should be more about fixing what's in here

557
00:37:17,600 --> 00:37:19,760
and then the rest will kind of come to you naturally.

558
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:22,919
Right, right. Yeah.

559
00:37:22,919 --> 00:37:28,159
One of the things my my sponsor said to me, and he said this early on.

560
00:37:28,159 --> 00:37:31,919
And, you know, when I used to go into the 12 step meetings or the,

561
00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:36,040
you know, the Alano Club kind of thing, whatever it was, and I'd see,

562
00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:40,000
you know, you see on the walls one day at a time and first things first.

563
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:41,719
And this too shall pass.

564
00:37:42,120 --> 00:37:46,439
And he said to me, because some of that stuff I didn't get when I came in,

565
00:37:46,439 --> 00:37:49,040
it took me a while, also, and they just started pinging.

566
00:37:49,040 --> 00:37:51,919
And I was like, oh, and but he said to me,

567
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,239
he said the reason that they say first things first is because

568
00:37:56,679 --> 00:38:00,639
if you keep first things first, which is.

569
00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:04,399
What the work you need to do in here

570
00:38:05,199 --> 00:38:07,360
and the rest will be added on.

571
00:38:08,239 --> 00:38:11,280
And so it sounds kind of biblical, but it's not.

572
00:38:12,639 --> 00:38:18,280
But if I do the stuff that I need to do for my own growth

573
00:38:18,280 --> 00:38:22,000
and and that includes how I treat the rest of the world,

574
00:38:24,360 --> 00:38:27,959
then if I keep that first, then all the other stuff just like

575
00:38:27,959 --> 00:38:31,159
it's almost like, you know, Joseph Campbell talks about it.

576
00:38:33,120 --> 00:38:38,000
You know, the path, once you find that groove, the path just kind of lays out.

577
00:38:38,439 --> 00:38:41,040
And, you know, you.

578
00:38:41,040 --> 00:38:43,040
For me, that's sort of how it's been.

579
00:38:43,040 --> 00:38:47,000
I feel like I've been kind of led down a path

580
00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:51,719
and not to say that it's not freaky sometimes and scary sometimes.

581
00:38:51,719 --> 00:38:53,760
And, you know, holy shit sometimes.

582
00:38:53,760 --> 00:38:55,919
And, man, I do that sometimes.

583
00:38:56,879 --> 00:38:59,080
But I know that it's the right way.

584
00:38:59,080 --> 00:39:01,719
And that's that's an interesting

585
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,919
development that I've felt for quite some time now.

586
00:39:06,919 --> 00:39:10,239
Where did your where did your podcast come into play?

587
00:39:11,080 --> 00:39:13,399
Where did that start from for you?

588
00:39:13,399 --> 00:39:16,360
So that was.

589
00:39:17,439 --> 00:39:21,879
I actually I met some people that helped me sort of develop

590
00:39:21,879 --> 00:39:25,040
because I had no idea really how to develop a message

591
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:30,399
and develop a coherent way of what I think is coherent way

592
00:39:31,479 --> 00:39:35,439
of, you know, getting this stuff out

593
00:39:35,600 --> 00:39:39,800
and and so when I became

594
00:39:39,800 --> 00:39:43,719
and they told me this this place that helped me publish my books, they said,

595
00:39:43,719 --> 00:39:47,800
you know, as you start doing other things that can help get books

596
00:39:47,800 --> 00:39:52,000
out into people's hands, you know, you can be a podcast guest

597
00:39:52,000 --> 00:39:53,280
or you can start a podcast.

598
00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,320
And I was like, all right, I'll start a podcast.

599
00:39:56,320 --> 00:39:58,840
And and so I did that.

600
00:39:58,840 --> 00:40:02,800
And and it was that scared the heck out of me, too.

601
00:40:02,800 --> 00:40:04,879
I was like, man, what am I doing?

602
00:40:04,879 --> 00:40:07,080
You know, I'm doing it.

603
00:40:08,639 --> 00:40:12,719
But I've learned to love it because I love I love people

604
00:40:12,719 --> 00:40:16,520
and I love talking and I love especially talking about,

605
00:40:17,399 --> 00:40:21,199
you know, just how can we make this journey better and brighter

606
00:40:21,199 --> 00:40:23,639
and more fulfilling?

607
00:40:23,639 --> 00:40:26,120
How did you come up with the show title show up?

608
00:40:27,639 --> 00:40:32,679
You know, that was actually my wife, because we were starting to think about

609
00:40:33,479 --> 00:40:37,080
I was starting to think about how can I just sort of encapsulate my message

610
00:40:37,080 --> 00:40:38,879
and these folks that were helping me do that.

611
00:40:38,879 --> 00:40:40,239
They're like, well, think of something.

612
00:40:40,239 --> 00:40:40,760
And I'm like.

613
00:40:42,080 --> 00:40:45,000
That's why I have you guys here, so you could have you.

614
00:40:47,479 --> 00:40:51,600
Anyway, so so, you know, one was like, take the garbage out.

615
00:40:51,600 --> 00:40:54,159
One was, you know, there were there were other things.

616
00:40:54,159 --> 00:40:56,639
And then my wife was like, well, how about show up?

617
00:40:57,800 --> 00:41:01,959
And I'm like, I'm like, you know, that kind of fits

618
00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:05,679
because because we always have a choice, right?

619
00:41:05,679 --> 00:41:09,959
We always have a choice of how we want to proceed from here.

620
00:41:10,560 --> 00:41:12,479
Right. You know, any moment.

621
00:41:12,479 --> 00:41:14,159
How do we want to proceed from here?

622
00:41:14,159 --> 00:41:19,399
And right. And a lot of that for me has been showing up.

623
00:41:19,399 --> 00:41:23,080
And again, my sponsor, he's like he's like, tell me when the best time

624
00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:24,040
to go to a meeting is.

625
00:41:24,040 --> 00:41:25,760
And this was, you know, I'm 19, 20 years old.

626
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:26,520
And I'm like, I don't know.

627
00:41:26,520 --> 00:41:27,919
He's like, when you don't feel like it.

628
00:41:29,199 --> 00:41:31,399
I'm like, oh, all right.

629
00:41:31,800 --> 00:41:35,080
So and is that that's the best time for me to go to the gym?

630
00:41:35,080 --> 00:41:38,600
That's the best time for me to eat the healthy food,

631
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:41,159
you know, or whatever is when I don't feel like it.

632
00:41:41,159 --> 00:41:47,879
So to me, all of those things are part of showing up for myself in my life.

633
00:41:48,919 --> 00:41:51,879
When you look back a little bit,

634
00:41:51,879 --> 00:41:55,040
you know, to that 19 year old boy who was struggling to get sober.

635
00:41:55,040 --> 00:41:57,879
And you're you're now an author of three books,

636
00:41:58,199 --> 00:42:00,600
podcast host, coach.

637
00:42:02,679 --> 00:42:06,520
What does that feel like to look back at where you were to where you are now?

638
00:42:08,840 --> 00:42:09,879
I'm really grateful.

639
00:42:10,760 --> 00:42:18,840
And that is, I don't, that's kind of that's the whole thing is, is I truly feel like,

640
00:42:19,879 --> 00:42:24,600
like, I did do the work, I did do what was in front of me to be done.

641
00:42:24,600 --> 00:42:26,520
But I but I it's not.

642
00:42:28,439 --> 00:42:32,600
It's not I'm just not a sort of to me, it's not something where I want to say,

643
00:42:32,600 --> 00:42:38,360
oh, great job, Daryl, you know, because because I have this life and I could go

644
00:42:38,360 --> 00:42:42,840
in many different directions with my life and could have done that at any time in my life,

645
00:42:42,840 --> 00:42:44,439
you know, go in a different direction.

646
00:42:44,439 --> 00:42:45,639
And right.

647
00:42:45,639 --> 00:42:48,840
And I just kept going where the path seemed to be leading.

648
00:42:49,639 --> 00:42:53,399
And I'm grateful that I chose to do that.

649
00:42:53,399 --> 00:43:01,800
And and doing the work for me is just me living a responsible, accountable existence.

650
00:43:02,679 --> 00:43:03,179
Yeah.

651
00:43:04,679 --> 00:43:06,040
What is what is next for you?

652
00:43:06,040 --> 00:43:08,199
You have so many things that you've already done.

653
00:43:08,760 --> 00:43:10,520
Any more books coming out?

654
00:43:11,959 --> 00:43:13,479
Yeah, I do.

655
00:43:14,040 --> 00:43:20,600
And I'm sort of, you know, I have notes, my phone, like the little notes app, right?

656
00:43:20,600 --> 00:43:23,000
Like, oh, my Lord, it's insane.

657
00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:30,439
There's probably there's 20 things that come to my mind, like, you know, like, just constantly

658
00:43:30,439 --> 00:43:31,879
I'm like putting this in, putting this in.

659
00:43:31,879 --> 00:43:39,399
So so I have one book about 85 percent sort of organized and outlined.

660
00:43:39,399 --> 00:43:43,159
And but I don't know if that's the next book I'm going to write because I have these ideas.

661
00:43:44,120 --> 00:43:48,360
So so, yes, I'm going to write more books.

662
00:43:48,360 --> 00:43:53,639
And and I'm also going to do something and I've never I haven't said this on a podcast

663
00:43:53,639 --> 00:43:55,800
yet, Kat, but here here goes.

664
00:43:56,760 --> 00:43:59,159
I'm scared to death of public speaking.

665
00:43:59,959 --> 00:44:01,800
So that needs to be next for me.

666
00:44:02,679 --> 00:44:10,040
That's kind of the next big sort of like, holy crap thing that I have to do because I'm scared

667
00:44:10,040 --> 00:44:17,239
of it. And and and because like there's this I feel like there's this half a pie that's my life

668
00:44:17,959 --> 00:44:21,560
and I'm done, like everything up to here, like all this stuff I've done.

669
00:44:21,560 --> 00:44:25,479
And then this little slice is whatever's next.

670
00:44:26,280 --> 00:44:29,800
And part of that is I can't leave it undone.

671
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:31,340
Right.

672
00:44:31,719 --> 00:44:36,120
And I feel like the next step in that is is the public speaking thing.

673
00:44:36,919 --> 00:44:41,879
And you mean that in relation to like your journey in general or as it comes to business?

674
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:47,719
It's going to be a combination of those things.

675
00:44:47,719 --> 00:44:53,560
It's going to be helping people improve the experience of their lives.

676
00:44:54,439 --> 00:44:56,199
And that could be recovery.

677
00:44:56,919 --> 00:44:59,959
It could be, you know, sales, business kind of thing.

678
00:44:59,959 --> 00:45:06,439
It could be, you know, just, you know, what can I do if I want to feel better every day?

679
00:45:07,159 --> 00:45:14,280
And, you know, just because a lot of people aren't addicted to alcohol or drugs.

680
00:45:15,080 --> 00:45:17,399
But, you know, maybe it's social media.

681
00:45:17,399 --> 00:45:24,360
Maybe it's, you know, something that's taking their time away from being alive and experiencing

682
00:45:24,360 --> 00:45:26,280
life. You know, is it gambling?

683
00:45:26,280 --> 00:45:28,040
Is it is it food?

684
00:45:28,199 --> 00:45:32,120
You know, there's a lot of things that can take us away from that experience.

685
00:45:33,399 --> 00:45:41,560
So anybody's looking to improve their experience, whatever it is, that's sort of who I'd like to

686
00:45:41,560 --> 00:45:47,959
appeal to because I've been in almost every one of those places.

687
00:45:49,800 --> 00:45:53,399
And so if I can help, that's what I'm going to try to do.

688
00:45:54,120 --> 00:45:55,320
I could see you doing that.

689
00:45:56,120 --> 00:46:00,360
I think you do with your experience and they certainly prep you for public speaking a little

690
00:46:00,360 --> 00:46:02,280
bit, putting you on the spot.

691
00:46:03,719 --> 00:46:06,600
That was my least favorite part of that, you know, get up and talk.

692
00:46:09,000 --> 00:46:13,399
You know, and, you know, the podcast and the books.

693
00:46:15,399 --> 00:46:20,199
What do you I'm kind of curious, is there a mantra that you live by or a quote that you

694
00:46:20,919 --> 00:46:23,399
hold dear to you that kind of gets you through the tough days?

695
00:46:23,639 --> 00:46:26,679
Yeah, there's about a there's a million of them, honestly,

696
00:46:28,040 --> 00:46:29,719
because I've written them all down, Kat.

697
00:46:30,760 --> 00:46:31,320
I like that.

698
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:34,919
You know, and I don't.

699
00:46:37,159 --> 00:46:43,479
OK, here's the last thing that came into my brain and and I put it down.

700
00:46:43,479 --> 00:46:51,080
And so I've got there's tons of quotes that I love by, you know, all the sort of famous

701
00:46:51,159 --> 00:46:51,879
quote people.

702
00:46:51,879 --> 00:46:57,879
But one big one that I like that I think will help people is as long as you're trying,

703
00:46:57,879 --> 00:46:59,239
you're not going backwards.

704
00:47:00,679 --> 00:47:05,800
I like that because so many people think that they've stagnated or they're not going forward.

705
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:11,080
And I try to tell people, look, as long as you're trying, you may not see it.

706
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:12,919
You may not recognize it.

707
00:47:12,919 --> 00:47:14,679
You may not even feel it.

708
00:47:14,679 --> 00:47:18,840
But if you're continuing to try, you're absolutely moving forward.

709
00:47:18,840 --> 00:47:21,800
When you stop trying is when you start to backslide.

710
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:23,399
I like that.

711
00:47:24,840 --> 00:47:29,479
Is there any any anything you want to say to anybody who's listening and they're struggling

712
00:47:29,479 --> 00:47:35,159
with sobriety or addiction of any kind or even just struggling in life, maybe?

713
00:47:35,719 --> 00:47:36,280
Yeah.

714
00:47:37,399 --> 00:47:45,080
Yeah, I think, you know, one of the things that was that was told to me, and I'll I'll say it

715
00:47:45,080 --> 00:47:52,600
I'll I'll say it in the form of a story because it was really crucial to my story.

716
00:47:54,360 --> 00:48:01,719
I was at a meeting and this was I was probably, you know, 1920 years old as I'm as I'm going.

717
00:48:01,719 --> 00:48:06,919
There's a nearby city where we'd have meetings at the community center.

718
00:48:06,919 --> 00:48:08,199
And it was a Friday night meeting.

719
00:48:08,199 --> 00:48:10,120
It was a pretty big meeting, a couple hundred people.

720
00:48:10,439 --> 00:48:16,439
And there was an older guy and he was he was kind of, you know, small in stature and slight.

721
00:48:16,439 --> 00:48:20,199
And he he, you know, was a little hunched over when he walked.

722
00:48:20,199 --> 00:48:21,879
And and his name was Jimmy.

723
00:48:22,520 --> 00:48:27,080
And at that time, you know, I'm I don't know, a few months or a year or whatever, sober.

724
00:48:27,080 --> 00:48:32,600
And and I'm always paying attention to Jimmy because Jimmy is around that city.

725
00:48:32,600 --> 00:48:34,439
He's like the most sober dude.

726
00:48:34,439 --> 00:48:36,840
And he'd been around for like 40 years.

727
00:48:36,840 --> 00:48:41,399
And I was like, and everybody looked at him like he was a deity, you know, like, wow.

728
00:48:41,399 --> 00:48:47,560
You know, and and, you know, since then, I've revised my sort of thinking around

729
00:48:47,560 --> 00:48:51,719
length of sobriety other than if I'm continuing to grow.

730
00:48:51,719 --> 00:48:54,439
But but anyway, regarding this, this story.

731
00:48:54,439 --> 00:49:00,360
So Jimmy, Jimmy was the only person in that meeting and he did it.

732
00:49:01,239 --> 00:49:05,639
Every time I went to that meeting, he would go grab the coffee carafe and he would go

733
00:49:05,639 --> 00:49:08,120
fill up people's coffee, you know, in the meeting.

734
00:49:08,919 --> 00:49:14,679
And, you know, like it or not, there is sort of a, you know, thing in in recovery,

735
00:49:14,679 --> 00:49:17,959
especially in the 12 steps like, OK, if somebody's been around that long, somebody

736
00:49:17,959 --> 00:49:20,600
be better be filling that dude's coffee.

737
00:49:20,600 --> 00:49:21,159
Right.

738
00:49:21,159 --> 00:49:23,719
Like that would be kind of the prevailing thought process.

739
00:49:23,719 --> 00:49:24,600
But he would do it.

740
00:49:24,600 --> 00:49:29,959
And it was such a cool act of service that I watched him do.

741
00:49:29,959 --> 00:49:34,439
And it was pretty amazing to me because I didn't really get it at that time.

742
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,159
And and so that was a really cool thing to watch.

743
00:49:37,159 --> 00:49:42,040
And I think that's an important lesson is to be of service to others, especially when

744
00:49:42,040 --> 00:49:46,439
we're struggling with our own stuff, you know, go try to help someone else.

745
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:49,800
But the other thing is what Jimmy used to say.

746
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,479
And I think this was really important.

747
00:49:51,479 --> 00:49:55,560
And I carry this with me as much as I possibly can.

748
00:49:55,560 --> 00:49:58,600
I feel like it's become a little bit of a thread inside of me.

749
00:49:58,600 --> 00:50:03,719
He always used to say, look, if you want to if you want to be in recovery and at that

750
00:50:03,719 --> 00:50:08,120
time, it was just called be sober and and you want to live a life that you really feel

751
00:50:08,120 --> 00:50:12,760
good about and and, you know, move forward in your life and that sort of thing.

752
00:50:12,760 --> 00:50:15,479
He said, you have to remember to stay small.

753
00:50:16,520 --> 00:50:18,600
And and I used to hear that.

754
00:50:18,600 --> 00:50:21,320
And I was like, I don't know if I get it.

755
00:50:21,320 --> 00:50:22,360
I think I get it.

756
00:50:22,360 --> 00:50:23,320
It kind of stuck.

757
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:28,360
And but he was talking about, you know, how you have to remember to stay small.

758
00:50:28,679 --> 00:50:35,320
And he was talking about maintaining humility and maintaining not getting too big for our

759
00:50:35,320 --> 00:50:36,919
britches, so to speak.

760
00:50:36,919 --> 00:50:43,239
And and another word for humility that, you know, I don't I don't know if they talk about

761
00:50:43,239 --> 00:50:47,719
in the 12 steps anymore, but another word for humility that used to say is is being

762
00:50:47,719 --> 00:50:48,280
teachable.

763
00:50:49,479 --> 00:50:56,199
And so if you're coming into, you know, sobriety or you need help or you're, you know, struggling

764
00:50:56,280 --> 00:51:00,280
or just life, find people that can teach you.

765
00:51:00,280 --> 00:51:07,959
And I don't care if it's online or books or, you know, whatever it is, you know, talks,

766
00:51:07,959 --> 00:51:16,040
YouTube, whatever it is, find people who have been doing it and have had success doing it

767
00:51:16,040 --> 00:51:21,080
and listen to what they say and do the best you can to emulate them.

768
00:51:21,959 --> 00:51:28,439
And and so I think that's and the other thing I would say is don't try to change everything

769
00:51:28,439 --> 00:51:29,399
all at once.

770
00:51:29,399 --> 00:51:33,320
You know, one little thing at a time is all it takes.

771
00:51:33,320 --> 00:51:40,199
And those little things over time add up to huge changes in our lives as we go.

772
00:51:41,000 --> 00:51:42,280
I think that's solid advice.

773
00:51:42,840 --> 00:51:45,800
And I think it takes it's it's it's solid.

774
00:51:45,800 --> 00:51:51,719
And I think that's where it all starts is humility and staying small and helping others.

775
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:56,919
And then you can really start to not only see positive changes in the world around you,

776
00:51:56,919 --> 00:51:59,080
but within yourself, you know?

777
00:51:59,719 --> 00:52:02,040
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

778
00:52:02,040 --> 00:52:06,840
And that's, you know, when they when they say in the 12 steps to thine own self be true,

779
00:52:07,879 --> 00:52:09,479
there's another piece to that.

780
00:52:09,479 --> 00:52:14,439
And then and then it must follow is the night the day thou canst not then be false to any

781
00:52:14,439 --> 00:52:15,080
man.

782
00:52:15,080 --> 00:52:21,080
So if I'm being true to me, that includes being true to everyone else, because if I'm

783
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:23,800
doing wrong by you, I'm doing wrong by myself.

784
00:52:23,800 --> 00:52:27,479
And and that's a hugely important component.

785
00:52:29,320 --> 00:52:33,800
Would you like to tell everybody where they can find you anything about your books, anything

786
00:52:33,800 --> 00:52:34,679
I may have missed?

787
00:52:36,280 --> 00:52:37,959
No, you haven't missed anything, Cat.

788
00:52:37,959 --> 00:52:41,399
It's been a wonderful conversation, and I appreciate it very much.

789
00:52:41,399 --> 00:52:52,120
The best place to find me is on my website, which is daryldittmer.com, d-a-r-y-l-d-i-t-t-m-e-r.com.

790
00:52:52,120 --> 00:52:55,560
You can find links to my books and a little bit more about me.

791
00:52:57,560 --> 00:53:01,080
And I always say this, and I think it's, you know, and I truly mean it.

792
00:53:01,639 --> 00:53:06,679
If I can help you, if you have a question, if you have, you know, something about the

793
00:53:06,679 --> 00:53:11,639
podcast or otherwise, or you're getting into, you know, recovery or, you know, just have

794
00:53:11,639 --> 00:53:13,639
a question, whatever, shoot me an email.

795
00:53:13,639 --> 00:53:15,000
There's a contact form in there.

796
00:53:15,000 --> 00:53:18,199
I'm happy to help, you know, if I can if I can provide any help.

797
00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:20,199
Yeah, and your books are great.

798
00:53:20,199 --> 00:53:25,959
I did download your When You Stop Fighting on Audible, and it is a good book.

799
00:53:25,959 --> 00:53:34,040
So I highly recommend giving your website a peek, giving your podcast show up a peek.

800
00:53:34,040 --> 00:53:35,639
You know, there's some good information there.

801
00:53:35,639 --> 00:53:40,600
There's some good conversations there, and there's some good honesty and some good powerful

802
00:53:40,600 --> 00:53:41,560
messages for everybody.

803
00:53:41,560 --> 00:53:45,159
I think whether you're in recovery or if you're just trying to better yourself, I think there's

804
00:53:45,159 --> 00:53:45,879
something for everybody.

805
00:53:45,879 --> 00:53:47,080
You don't have to be in recovery.

806
00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,719
Yes, that's part of your story, but I think everyone can benefit from your message and

807
00:53:51,719 --> 00:53:53,479
what you're trying to put out into the world.

808
00:53:54,199 --> 00:53:58,439
And so I want to thank you for coming on today, and thank you for talking with me, talking

809
00:53:58,439 --> 00:54:03,399
with us, and for all you're doing with your books and your podcasts and the coaching.

810
00:54:03,399 --> 00:54:07,560
And I can't wait to, you know, see you speak on like a TED Talk or something.

811
00:54:07,560 --> 00:54:11,479
You know, I think that would be amazing to turn on my YouTube and see you on a TED Talk.

812
00:54:11,479 --> 00:54:12,280
I love that.

813
00:54:13,399 --> 00:54:15,879
So thank you, Daryl, for being here with us today.

814
00:54:15,879 --> 00:54:16,679
I appreciate you.

815
00:54:17,479 --> 00:54:24,040
And you can find me and the Call Her Cat podcast on all major platforms, and everything from

816
00:54:24,040 --> 00:54:26,520
today's show, everything about Daryl will be in the show notes.

817
00:54:27,239 --> 00:54:33,399
And I recently added a new category in my link tree called Featured Guest Publications,

818
00:54:33,399 --> 00:54:36,360
and there will be links to your books in there as well.

819
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,000
So people will be able to get the books off of the link tree as well.

820
00:54:39,800 --> 00:54:42,760
You can follow me on social media for clips and updates.

821
00:54:43,479 --> 00:54:49,399
And like I say, every time, you don't have to carry what you came from and keep telling

822
00:54:49,399 --> 00:54:51,639
your story because you never know who you're going to help.

823
00:54:52,280 --> 00:54:53,800
And we will see you all next time.

824
00:54:54,600 --> 00:54:55,879
Thanks so much, Cat.

825
00:54:55,879 --> 00:55:06,760
Thank you, Daryl.