Anxiety Said Midnight So I Hit Record with Cat York

Welcome And Why This Podcast Exists

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Hey everyone. Welcome back to the Recovery Catalyst Podcast. I'm your host, Kat York, and this is my little corner of the world where I try really hard to shine a light on some really difficult topics like trauma, abuse, addiction, recovery. And I try to do so through the lens of curiosity rather than cure. Because none of us have all the answers. And week after week, I have some amazing, amazing guests come on and they share their stories. And I'm constantly inspired by the people that I talk to and the things that they shared and the journeys that they've gone through.

My Anxiety History And What It Feels Like

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And I would like to share a little bit about my journey. So part of my journey is mental health related. I struggle with oftentimes debilitating anxiety, panic, panic attacks that last what feels like forever. And I've done all the things from medication to counseling. I was even in a timeout in a psych ward for a week. Magnesium, acupuncture, massage, Reiki, Ashvagandha, every pill potion and tincture. I've tried it. Breathing, meditation. If you struggle with anxiety, you've tried it all. And though I've had moments of peace and calm, it's always disrupted by you guessed it, anxiety. Those obsessive thoughts, those ruminating thoughts, the tightness in your chest, the constant worry, the sweating, the it just doesn't stop, you know, and it's exhausting. And so many people don't realize how exhausting it truly is. They hear the word anxiety and they're like, oh, it's not that big of a deal. Just go on some medication. Yeah, I've been on some of those medications, and the side effects can be worsening anxiety sometimes.

Medication Reality And Buspar Fears

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And, you know, I recently started another anxiety medication. Um it's called BUSPAR. It's not an antidepressant. I struggle taking those. Um, and it seems to be helping a little bit. But that onboarding process is it's quite difficult, you know. Um, if you get lost on the Googler or Reddit, you know, you're gonna find every terrible story you can, and a thousand reasons why you shouldn't try medication. And so many around me through the years have said, you know, why just why can't she just get it right? Why can't she just take a pill and be better? If it was that easy, don't you think I'd do it? My life has been severely handicapped and limited because of this anxiety and the panic.

How Anxiety Limits Life And Parenting

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There's days I'm fine, I can do anything. And then there's days it's hard for me to drive five minutes down the road to the gym. That doesn't feel good when you have a son that wants to go out and be active. It doesn't feel good when you want to work. It doesn't feel good when you're not getting any sleep, when you can't go out with your friends, and you can't do the things that you love to do. You know, and I guess my point for this little chat was just to let you all know, like I get it. You know, if you're struggling with anxiety, you're not alone.

Sobriety And The Urge To Numb Out

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And, you know, a lot of the times it's very hard for me to not pick up a drink. Because that used to be my go-to, and I can't do that anymore. It's not available to me. Right? Um, I know where that leads me, and it's nowhere good. And it usually causes rebound anxiety, not to mention a whole host of other problems. So, what is the answer? You know, what is it? More pills, more therapies, more supplements, this, that. You know, you go on the internet, it seems everybody has the answer. No, nobody has the answer. Everybody only has their experience. And, you know, the truth is, is that I think this will be something that I will battle probably for the rest of my natural-born life. And, you know, like I said, I I started this medication, and I'm hopeful that it's going to get better as the weeks go on. But it wasn't even easy for me to take the first pill, you know, and that's what makes it so hard. Your mind can play so many tricks on you. Anxiety can lead you down so many places. You know, I mean, it's 12 a.m. on Wednesday morning, and you know, I'm recording this because I can't sleep because my anxiety is so high. That's just the reality of it. That's just what so many with, you know, depression, anxiety, PTSD deal with. You know, this is our life, unfortunately. And I'm not saying that to be a victim. I'm just saying it because it's hard. You know, on a daily basis, I try very hard to get up and put one foot in front of the other. And some days it's harder than the others. Like today, it

Acceptance Hope And Reaching Out

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was very, very hard. You know, and medication isn't a cure all, therapy isn't a cure-all. And I've done so much work on myself, so many different therapies. And I'll get some relief, and then I come back, and I'm right back where I started. And it's frustrating to say the least. And anyone who battles this shit knows how frustrating it can be. And that's part of the reason why I started this podcast. Stuck inside with my anxiety, and I thought, well, let's start talking to some people, let's help some people. And I really hope I am, because it'll make it all worth it if I am. You know, and I'm never gonna stop trying to find that nice, peaceful, easy feeling. You know, but it is a struggle. And I just wanted to hop on here and just let everybody know who's struggling, that you're not alone. Like, I get it. Anxiety's a bitch, it's terrible. Panic attacks are terrible. But, you know, I want you to keep trying, you know, and I'll keep trying. And I hope some of this, any of this, you know, made sense. I really do. Um, because it's not it's not easy. It's not easy, and I think at the end of the day, we all need to be a little kinder to each other and understand that we're all going through some stuff. You know. So, you know, that's all I got. Just feeling, you know, a little anxious, a little restless, and decided to pop on here and talk a little bit about what's on my heart, a little about me. And, you know, please check me out across social media, Recovery Catalyst Podcast. Um, yeah, feel free to email me at callhercat podcast at gmail.com. I'd love to hear your stories, your experiences with anxiety, mental health. Um yeah, just let me know. I'd love to hear from you guys, um, what kind of guests you want, really anything. You know, I'd love to connect, I love to engage with my audience. So please, please reach out. And until then, be well.