#92 Forgiveness & Spiritual Breakthroughs | Beth Brown

0:00 I don't see myself jumping out of a plane, I don't know that I'm really ready to evict that fear more, but you know, like, Fear can be good and it can be fun but there is a spiritual component and so We know when we've gone out of an emotion of fear And we've gone more into like a spiritual fear like where it's oppressing us and when we start seeing patterns in our life repeat over and over and over again Welcome to the new age human podcast, where we have inspiring conversations with spiritual entrepreneurs in the areas of mindfulness, longevity, and innovative technology. I'm your host, Jon Astacio, and I'm on a mission to help humanity discover our human potential so we can together create positive change.

0:46 Remember the journey starts within please like, and subscribe wherever you're listening or watching. And with that said, let's get to the show. This is awesome. All right. Well, welcome to the new issue in a podcast today. We are going to chat with Beth Brown, a little bit back of a little bit of a background. She's a Brooklyn based entrepreneur and breakthrough coach speaker published author. And women's empowerment award recipients. A lot going on there. Her mission is to spread love and help others level up their personal and professional lives by teaching them to forgive, love themselves, and achieve emotional and spiritual breakthroughs.

1:30 We got an interesting and really cool conversation for you. Beth, thank you for coming on the show. Welcome. Thank you, Jon thank you so much for having me. So I appreciate that intro. I'm so excited to chat with you and share some thoughts and support your audience. So thank you so much for having me. no problem. Um, it was, we, we, we, we connected more deeper at a recent, uh, at a recent networking event and I'm like, Oh, you know what? She's definitely coming on a lot of good conversation, a lot of good that you're doing. So I wanted to just share that with everybody and to know that there's going to be some golden nuggets in simply your journey.

2:12 before anything else. And so speaking of your journey, can you share your, that personal journey that led you to become what would be considered a breakthrough coach and author? Of that. I absolutely can do that, Jon it would be my joy. So. Yes, I have been an entrepreneur for over 10 years over a decade. I was also at one point full time Employment like day job up until about two and a half years ago um, and So my initial my first business is a photography business. So i'm a professional photographer And then my day job was a teacher.

2:54 So i'm a certified teacher and then I A couple years ago, I stepped into becoming a breakthrough coach. Um, and it was for a couple reasons. And one of them was like a practical reason. I did lose my job due to discrimination. And I said, well, I need more than one way to provide for myself. And yeah, right. But the other thing is, is that I personally went through some things that actually We're terrible for my business and, uh, because our personal life and the things that are we go through, uh, does affect how everything else goes in our lives.

3:39 And I in particular had an issue with unforgiveness towards someone. And as it turned out, when I started going through my whole healing process and healing journey, which was like about three years, like of real like Um, intense work, um, in which I was like kicking and screaming, going like, God, no, I don't want to do this. I don't want to forgive. I know I was being like a little two year old brat. Right? But, but, uh, it really directly impacted how my life was going. And then I saw also starting to come out. As a result of all the things that were going on in 2020 how people's mental health was not really Going in a positive direction and people were really falling apart and things were just like kind of exploding out of everywhere and so I said well I Happen to have gone through some things that I know I can help other people Um and support them in their wellness and being a teacher.

4:38 I teach I coach I teach tools. I'm not a therapist Um, I've been told one of my journals, one of my books is better than five years of therapy, but, by someone, but I am not a therapist. I literally teach strategies and tools in order to get breakthroughs. Um, and by breakthroughs, I mean like in our mindset, I mean spiritual breakthroughs, and I mean physical breakthroughs, because we're mind, body, and spirit. I like it. address all parts of ourselves. Oh. in a nutshell. Yeah. So I think out of those three, the spiritual breakthrough is an interesting one to dive into. Are you down to dive into what that looks like as far as someone that, uh, maybe an example of someone that needs a spiritual breakthrough and what that process looks like.

5:24 I'm very curious. Yeah. Yeah. So, uh, So we could talk about fear, for example. Um, fear is a good thing. It's like an emotional thing. Uh, it is something that keeps us safe, right? I should be very afraid to, I use this, this all the time'cause it's just such a simple like, duh example, but, well, I should be very afraid to stand in front of moving traffic. Like I should be afraid to like cross the street in front of a moving truck, That's like. survival stuff. It's survival stuff built in. is built in and even there's other things like a lot of times, um, like riding on a motorcycle or skydiving or roller coasters, different things.

6:11 Those are, those are fear, right? And they're fun also. Well, maybe not fun for me. I don't see myself jumping out of a plane, I don't know that I'm really ready to evict that fear more, but you know, like, Fear can be good and it can be fun but there is a spiritual component and so We know when we've gone out of an emotion of fear And we've gone more into like a spiritual fear like where it's oppressing us and when we start seeing patterns in our life repeat over and over and over again like I was afraid to do that interview. I, um, to go on that job interview. I was afraid to, uh, get asked for a promotion at work, even though I deserved it, I was afraid to speak up in the meeting.

6:57 I was afraid to call my friends up, um, and have a hard conversation with him or her. I'm afraid of letting people get close to me in dating relationships. I'm afraid to start that business I'm afraid like of doing lives on social media when you start noticing that there's patterns repeating in your life You know that you're actually in a spiritual battle with fear Versus it's just like an emotional battle. We all have something that we might be a little afraid of Um, and it's like when it's just kind of isolated and it's like a one thing here or one thing over there It's just we're like in our emotions and we might be overthinking But when the patterns when there's patterns and it keeps happening over and over and over again And it could be fear and finances.

7:43 We could like be like we could be and i'm talking about fear of success Like it could be like self sabotaging. You might be able to save a thousand dollars and then all of a sudden you end up spending all that thousand dollars and now you're back to zero savings and you cannot ever get over that thousand dollar savings mark. hmm. That's like an example. You're actually afraid without possibly without, um, and there may be other things going on, um, as well, but there's like a spiritual component to that. And fear is just like one example, but I feel like almost everything is rooted in fear one way or another, good or bad. You should be afraid to cheat on your spouse. Yeah. you should be afraid of their wrath and hurting them, right?

8:23 There's some things that should be checking us, right? The not always bad. Yeah. Yeah, there's, there's a lot of, there's definitely a lot of fear out there. Um, and, um, Uh, what triggered, not triggered, but what came up to me was I identified with the self sabotage side of fear where you have all this opportunity around you, but for some reason you miss out on it due to certain patterns. You may have spiritual unawareness of, there's a lot of stuff going on. And you mentioned patterns a couple of times. Is there anything that you can say as far as for someone to identify these patterns or what, what, what.

9:04 Yeah. What kind of tools do we have to identify them? Because I feel like that's a huge component of identifying it and becoming more aware of it. I mean, it's, it can be generational, or it can be within your own life. Um, but look for things that are constantly repeating. Look back and, like, the things that are frustrating you the most, right? Is it something that has also been a problem for your siblings if you have them? I'm an only child, so I don't have siblings to compare myself to. But like your parents, your grandparents, your aunts, your uncles, um, and it could be like anything beyond like fear. Fear is, I'm just giving as an example, but it could be, um, patterns of sickness, like cancer.

9:47 They, they go to, you go to the doctor and you check off all of these things, like do you have heart disease? Do you have this? Do you have that? But what's causing these things? Like why is everyone in the family dying from a heart attack? At that point, you, I personally feel there's like a spiritual component to it. Um, why is everyone getting divorced in your family or not married? There's like, why, why is this? That's a problem when you see that like over and over and over again. And you have to wonder about what's going on spiritually. Cause we aren't, we're not. We came from somewhere. We all have maybe different ideas of how we got here, but we came from somewhere and we're going to go somewhere.

10:32 And so in between, there's still that spiritual realm that we're, we're spiritual beings. We have us, you know, so, um, so that being said, you look over and over at the patterns and you can look over and over at the patterns even in your life. Um, and personally, like. I ended up having some patterns that were not really pretty to me. I realized, um, in terms of forgiveness or unforgiveness, I thought I was just mad as someone who hurt me. And what I realized when I started going through things, I hadn't, it wasn't just him. I had a whole pattern of unforgiveness to myself.

11:13 And so the pattern of how I was talking to him and how I was reacting to him, how I was talking to God about him was also how I would talk about myself. I had like a really hard harsh way of self talk, right? So my mindset was very critical I am a recovering perfectionist. And so if I was not doing things perfectly in my photography work That stemmed over into my relationships. Like my photos have to be perfect. They have to look like everyone else's. Wait, they should not look like everyone else's. Sometimes as artists, we get, you know, um, a little carried away. But, um, I was like, I have to be the perfect woman. I have to have like the perfect past. Like, so now my perfectionism, right.

11:53 So my unforgiveness. I had issues with my father's mother, you know, like I realized that there was a lot of unforgiveness there There was so I saw that there were patterns coming up over and over again in my life and so that's how I knew it was a spiritual issue and not like just a mindset issue Interesting. Would you say that journaling was a big part of that? Because I know that you have a 20 day forgiveness journal. Yes, I did, um, so I've done all sorts of different types of journaling. I was looking around for it. Um, I used to journal, I've done it like dreams, dreams is a really great way, um, because it is also goes with spiritual and you can see patterns come out.

12:39 Um, so I've done journaling in different ways over the course of my life. Like when I first started journaling in fifth grade, it was like, dear diary, I have this crush on so and so he's so cute. Yeah, that's how I started in fifth grade. But then, um, one of the things that I came into journaling like later on in my life and during like the three year, Um, I was journaling my dreams and what I realized there was like a lot of, um, like demonic type things that were happening and different things in my dreams. And so that you, when you, when you write it down, you might, Oh, I just had a bad dream last night. But when you write it down and you start chronologically and you're like, wait, there's a problem here, like a big problem.

13:26 Um, that was one way I've journaled. I've, I've done journaling, um, in my business. Uh, where it's not like so much like fluid, it's like, let me just jot down at least three things I did today to like help my business. So I've done journaling in different ways. interesting. I would like, so one, I identify and I connect with you on journaling for dreams. I think I have like four episodes on like literally that having what type of dream and journaling for that and trying to understand what's going on because. Whether it be growing up in front of a TV practically and watching a lot of 80s and 90s movies about sci fi that that mind of yours will go places.

14:13 And I did see a lot of reflection in that, but I'm very curious how What made you think that you had, uh, feel free to share anything specific, but what made you think that you had demonic type influences in your dreams? Because sometimes it could just be a bad dream. Someone just shrugs it off. I'm curious about that connection and feel free to share an example. Oh gosh, um, yeah, well I'm gonna i'm gonna get so this is something that a lot of people struggle with and so I While i've gone through things I feel like and i've studied things for myself There i'm gonna give your you and your audience someone that I recommend Who has like tons and tons and tons of resources specifically around dreams Um, his name is pastor kevin la ewing and if you go to his youtube channel Um, he's like how I started to realize that it wasn't just like all in my head Um, because I I was starting to search I was like what in the world beth is going On with you like what this is not normal Um And I had a friend who was like, uh, she, she was like, I'm not going to talk to you.

15:27 She's like, you need professional help. I knew I did. I was like, yeah, need help, but I knew it wasn't like a psychological thing. I knew that there was like really something that was really, really, really going on with me. Um, And when I started listening to, um, his channel and he started, so yeah, Pastor Kevin L. Ewing, he has like things on like dream meetings. He's, he's just got like tons and tons of resources. So he's like a wealth of information. Um, so there can be different things, um, from my research and my understanding, um, that offends God.

16:08 And so I guess I'm going to speak from a Christian perspective because that is, I know things from the biblical perspective. I can't speak from, you know, Judeo perspective. Well, I could, I guess maybe a little bit because there's the old Testament, right? We share that Christians and Jews, but like, I can't speak on it from other perspectives. Like I've studied other religions just in general, but not like in depth. So, um, the whole premise of salvation for Christians is forgiveness. I want God to forgive me. But I am not I am too good I am better than God to forgive myself or to forgive someone else and There are different things and fear is another thing.

16:49 We are told we have to Without faith it is impossible to please God and Also, love is very important and I feel like love is what heals fear but When I, it says, and I'm going to get the quote a little bit wrong, but he who does not understand love fears or something, oh gosh, I just messed that Bible verse way up. Um, we're getting the gist of it. Is it like, if without love there is fear? You Yeah, it's pretty much. Yeah. Um, yeah, I should have written it down in advance, but anyway, I didn't know where this conversation was going to go.

17:30 So I didn't, I like, yeah. So anyway, um, and I have a, I have a specific workshop. I'm teaching very shortly and I have that verse. Um, but yeah, um, um, So it so unforgiveness and fear, it opens us up to attacks like there's a story of Job and I will tell you about the dreams in a second in the bio, but I'm just trying to like back it up. There's a story in Job and Job was like this great guy and he was always sacrificing and doing all these things to make God happy. And one day Satan shows up in heaven because apparently it's like he got kicked out of heaven, but he can still come back and have a good old conversation with God.

18:15 It seems so interesting when you really start reading things. Um, what is going on? And God's like, well, where'd you come from? And he's like, Oh, I was just, you know, walking around seeing what there was to see. And God's like, Oh, did you see my boy Job down there? He's like, really great. Isn't he? And Job's like, yeah, that's only cause you, or Satan's like, that's only cause you have a hedge of protection. You're protecting him. And his life is good. But if you took away your protection, his life would not be so good. And God's like, all right, well, let's, Let's see what happens is kind of to me and my perspective, like almost like a bet where they're like God's betting on Job to not curse him and die and Satan's like, he's gonna turn on you.

18:58 Um, but there's a point where Job is like everything that I was afraid of happened. There had to be like, God can't, God is not going to go back on his word. He always keeps his word. So, When we step away from his protection, we open ourselves up to problems like when we're willfully like going opposite of his commands, like so in for my case, I was willfully going against God by refusing to forgive someone. And as I realized also myself, um, And there was a lot of fear at the base of that too, of like, what would happen if I forgave someone? Like, I might get hurt again and this and that.

19:38 And like, my fear of perfectionism, like, well, then I won't be perfect. Um, if you know, you know, like that whole fear of not being perfect. So I kind of, Open myself up to problems, um, and being able to be attacked. Just like Job had this fear that then led to his sons, everyone dying. He got sick, Yeah, that was a life, Rough story. Yeah. It is a rough story. Um, but he, he ended up getting it all back and more. Um, so. It does have a happy ending, I guess, but it's really messy in the middle. Um, so I think it gives hope for all of us. So what happened with me is I went through personally, um, a sexual trauma.

20:24 I was raped by someone and then I decided to not deal with it. I wanted to pretend it away. And I decided I would try to build a relationship with someone new. Like, just let's let's like, get this show on the road and forget that thing ever happened. And so I really was hurting and when he decided he didn't want to be with me, I was mad at him, this new guy, but then I didn't want to be with myself actually. So why would I be mad at him for saying, I never liked you, I never wanted you, I was never interested in you. I wasn't even interested in liking myself. And I think sometimes people are like, spiritually, even that, like for our relationships, why are none of my relationships working out?

21:07 Well, where are you spiritually at with you yourself? Like, how much do you love yourself? How much do you want to be with you? Would you go on a date with you? Do you want to spend the rest of your life with you? Do you love you? Are you respectful to you? Oh, you're not? So then why are you expecting something different from someone else? Like, you're not even giving yourself, like, that energy. Why would someone else give it to you? So I think sometimes we repel people that way. No, I agree. Um, but yes, so I had, I had a dream, um, I remember like when all of this like really demonic things that I was saying happened. Um, so I was in Australia.

21:48 I don't understand. I'll be honest. I don't understand fully the symbolism and I've never really tried to understand it all, but I was in Australia and there was a red phone and it rang. Um, And I picked it up and my dad was there and we were getting ready to take him to the fire department. He needed a ride to the fire department, whatever. Anyway, but there was like this name, this voice that said and called my name. They're like, is Beth Ann there? My middle name's Ann. And I just hung up the phone. The phone rang again. Silly me. I pick it up and I'm like, hello? And I hear this voice go, is this Beth Ann? Hang it up. And it happened a third time. And I hung up a third time. So. Anyway, I leave with my father, wherever we were in Australia, to take him to the fire station.

22:35 Now, my father in real life was an active duty volunteer firefighter. He still is a fire, like, he goes to their meetings and stuff. He's just like 90 almost, so he doesn't fight fires anymore. But, um, I do understand in hindsight looking back at it I didn't know Like when you think of a fire house taking someone to the fire like fire department is an emergency You call them when your house is burning down and I didn't know At that time that literally my life was about ready to burn down Like I really was in a spiritual emergency, but I didn't even realize it. I was just like Because I was so angry at myself so angry with this guy who said he didn't want to be with me I wasn't even angry with the guy who like assaulted me.

23:23 I was like, well, you've got your own problems like you're easy to forgive um but uh, yeah, so Anyway, i'm driving a pickup truck Which i've never driven a pickup truck in my life i'm driving a pickup truck And my dad's next to me and I look over and I see another pickup Roll up next to me on the driver's side and the guy's face looked sort of similar ish To the guy who had um, who had raped me like a little bit similar Were But not quite but there was like some sort of like resemblance and it's like oh my gosh This thing is gonna try to he's gonna shoot me.

24:05 He's gonna shoot me And I was like, well, that can't happen. So I picked up a gun from next to me. I don't even, I didn't even know I had a gun. I don't know. I picked up a gun and I like aimed it at him and I shot him. And you driving too? wasn't driving. We were like at a stoplight. Oh, okay. Okay, cuz that would have been sign or stop light. I can't remember now. I wrote it down somewhere. Um, but that was the start of three years of like oppressive dreams, like oppressive, oppressive dreams. And, um, they were kind of wild. Like I would have like men in my dreams, like screaming at me. Like it was, it was really bad.

24:46 Um, And so, yeah, that was that. Um, I do believe Jesus did finally deliver me and that it did eventually end in a kind of crazy way. But, um, one of my dreams, I know that it was not all in my head. And I have like proof at one point, I was like, is it all like in my head? Am I going crazy? And I think people think they're going crazy. But you're not, you're really in a spiritual battle. And it says in the Bible, in God's word, it says, we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against angels and principalities, we're really in a spiritual fight. And so if you and I, God forbid, John had a fight, most likely it's not you and me fighting.

25:30 It might be the spirit of pride fighting my pride and your pride might be up against each other. And now we've got a problem and it's a spiritual problem, not a problem with you and me. Like puppets, Like puppets. So we have to be in control. We have to take control of our spiritual lives. And I didn't know that at the time. Um, and one way we do that is by we, we, we forgive. Whether we want to or not, we forgive. That's one way we can, you and I, and anyone can take control of their life spiritually. Forgiveness. Forgiveness yourself, forgive other people, forgive anything. Um, So, so yes, I went to sleep.

26:13 I went to Ukraine with a friend on a business trip in, in the dream. No in real life in real life. She's a violinist and she wanted to make a music video and I'm a photographer And, um, my, my mom's, my grandmother, uh, my mom's side is first generation Ukrainian. So like my great grandparents came from Ukraine. So I was like, Ooh, I want to go and I could take photos. And so, yeah, we went and we stayed at her cousin's and I had a dream. I had one of my, my dreams. I didn't have them every night, but I had one of my dreams. And, um, my friends, when she was sleeping, she heard me saying, Jesus, Jesus. Jesus. Because I would be like, I wouldn't even be able to get the word out.

26:56 It would be like, I was almost paralyzed. Like, um, and eventually I'd get it out and be like, Jesus. And she was like, what is going on? And then she was like, Beth. And it was like, Oh, I just had a bad dream. And she was like, Beth, why does it feel like there's something evil in here? He literally felt like there was an evil presence. No, she didn't really connect it to me because there were some other things that had been going on. Um, where we were staying that were like kind of like weird family dynamic relationships. So she kind of chalked it up to that. She didn't realize that it was really this thing in my dream that I had seen and it was like always like this This black it was like this for like I just knew it was coming like I would hear like music and like it was just Bizarre and I would be like, oh my gosh, it's going to like come at me And so i'd be like jesus jesus jesus and I mean jesus does answer it would like have to leave but yeah um, and but the reason why it was able to keep coming back and I was able to keep being oppressed was because Because What I eventually figured out three years later was a lot of, a lot, there were other reasons too, but what had really opens the door to like all of these other things was my unforgiveness towards myself and this man who had hurt me.

28:14 So yeah. Forgive. If you want to save yourself a lot of grief, forgive. Yeah. the dialogue to see the experiences that you had and the major negative event that happened in your life started that internal downward spiral, so to speak. And then it's one of those things where you are susceptible to what, um. I guess you can say nefarious negative entities in the background. And for me, my, I actually have an interesting reference that I have to, I want to say for a different episode where I know someone close to me that had partial, what do you call it?

28:59 When they take over your body. Possession. Yes. Yes. And that is the, the, the very lowest part of that downward spiral and in reflecting on your experience because you're very, you're on that journey of, of self awareness and at the same time forgiveness. And because of the journaling, it saved you. And because of your knowledge and reading of the Bible and your faith, uh, and understanding the situation and the bigger picture, you, Knowing no matter where you are and your belief structure, there are stories where there are attacks and naming, just saying Jesus's name, they're all afraid they disappear.

29:43 They're like the, the power of whatever is around you diminishes and they just can't. And it's very interesting. And there's so much deep stories to, to, to just follow up with that. But just knowing that you said, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, like, you know, I'm sure that that negative entity just couldn't handle that. And at the same time, uh, the power of forgiveness is like the gateway for, for love. Right. And it's, it's the, it's the, it's the key that opens up that gates and then you can, you know, let the flow of the water, you know, that just the energy, right? And so I hear that a lot as well. So I wanted to share that with you and the whole symbolism of the car.

30:27 This is what I saw from your dream, right? So what I hear is the car is usually a life vehicle, whether it be a job, a business, and so that was different. So it's like a sign of things to come to change as far as a vehicle for your life. And then that guy, um, did that situation. Of the dream happened before you had that experience with that guy or after I'm very curious where you shot the dude was, after. So, um, yes. So that, gosh, was that in 2017? That was like in 2017. And, and the whole event with the guy and the, um, the rape that was in 2016.

31:08 So, and then also trying to like move on. 2016 and then like 20. Yeah, so 2017 through 2020 like right before 2020. I was like, I everything that's like No residue. I don't want anything left at all so like I I did make sure to like get a clean slate like really like God, is there anything else in my heart that I need to get out of because a lot of people will say like follow your heart But the Bible says that the heart is deceitful and that we don't always know our own heart. And the only person who really can know my heart or your heart or someone else is, is God because he made it and he's like knowing and like, we like to pretend things to herself.

31:53 And sometimes we're like afraid to even admit things because we're like, Oh, I don't want to admit that I'm jealous or I don't want to admit that I'm angry. Like we are, so we kind of like hide it anyway. So, I always advise people to ask God to reveal to you if there's anything in your heart, because sometimes following our heart is not really the best way to go. Although I get, like, the gut instinct is, like, you know, we have our intuition. I'm not saying to, like, ignore intuition or anything, but really, like, sometimes we're misled by our heart, too. Mm hmm. And and I I do my best to pay attention to Subtle messages around you. I had a conversation with someone else and it was a zoom call and I was just trying to Make a important decision and it was you know, go left or go right And then I just referenced, I'm like, you know what, it's interesting, the timing of things.

32:47 And I was exposed to the opportunity of this decision. And then certain, uh, just events happened and I had to reflect on, on them, especially in events that is out of the norm. So it's one of those, like, like, like the dreams and stuff. If it's email, this is my personal, um, thought process. If it's way outside of your. Day to day as far as something that came out of nowheres and you're having a hard time sourcing it I think that is a message and whether it be a dream or in real life and then the dream if you wake up in a cold sweat like Somebody is trying to contact you and communicate with you in a really bad way.

33:32 And so your graphic and Specific and you remember it now that dream especially because you journaled it It's like these little movies that we get Where we watch a movie, I'm referencing back to movies. You watch a movie and there's a story and there's a message with every show and movie. So if you treat your dreams like that and your life experiences, it could be very similar. So that's how I'm able to like understand or digest these little subtle messages. So I really appreciate you in your, in your journaling and your self reflection and how far you've come because you went through that quote unquote Job journey. And, and there was a lot of change that happened and now you're in a much better place.

34:17 You have a really good energy at, if meeting you, I would have had no idea that you went through that. So you're doing something, right? I mean, honestly, this is, again, everyone is going to have different ideas, but, um, everything has to be subject and submit to Jesus's name. So that was really like. The healing and that's where the power is. Um, and that was, God was even my healing partner for that. You know, the, those years, even though I was like, kind of like, I don't want to forgive, like, really, are you serious? Are you serious right now? God, but you didn't see that he was a jerk. Yeah. God's like, okay, I'll wait.

34:59 Let's give you some, I'll just let some more things oppress you. I'll wait till you get tired. Right. Right. Until you get tired and then you're like, all right, fine. It's that, that letting go type of situation when you're more, the most open. To hearing and listening. So I definitely identify with that, um, that part of it. Um, when it comes to just challenges and, and overcoming them client wise, do you see any common challenges that you see people facing, um, that let's just say, re identify, re redefine their identity. Hmm.

35:39 that people don't realize how they talk about themselves. Like, they do not realize it. So the other day, I had a conversation with a friend. And And he was like, I'm going to go to Vegas. I was like, why do you want to go to Vegas? Well, because everyone else has gone to Vegas that I know. Okay. Well, is that where you really want to go? Um, if you could go anywhere in the world, what would you like to do? So my friend thought, I was like, you know, this sounds really silly. This sounds stupid, but I was like, no. No! We do not say that, like, what we really want to do sounds silly or stupid.

36:28 But a lot, how many times, I know I've done that even to myself, how many times have you done, like, Oh, that sounds silly, that sounds kind of weird. Why is it weird? Why is it, why is it strange that I want to do something or you want to do something or someone else wants to do something that's a little different? And it wasn't even like, it was, it ended up being like something cool. So I hope he like goes there. I don't know. You know, like we all get to make our choices. I was like, look, you're talking about this place and you're glowing and you're smiling and the other place you're just like, well, you know, like check it off the list. So like we talk about our thing, ourselves Wait, what was the other place I had? I I'm curious. Hawaii and like, look at There's nothing crazy shit.

37:09 Like, what is, why is that weird? But you know, this, this is, this is like where it's important that we get outside. So one of the things, this is my core, this is one of my core beliefs. Um, in, in terms of healing that we all have to have this trait and without it, it's, I wouldn't say impossible. Nothing's impossible, but it's going to become a lot harder. Is curiosity curiosity is one of the most underrated things. I don't hear many people talking about it in wellness spaces But you have to become curious and part of being curious is like well What else is there out there? like who else can I talk to because sometimes like our families our culture our Our country even is used to doing certain things.

37:56 You're like used to asking the doctor how you should feel better Well, maybe the doc, I'm not saying anything against doctors. Well, maybe I am, but you know, like what I'm saying is where am I putting my faith? Am I putting my faith and it goes again a lot into fear. If I put my faith into a doctor or I put my faith into like what my family says, or I put my faith into what my, my partner says, whether it's a business partner, my spouse, uh, friends, like I'm putting my faith into what they're saying. I'm going to freak out. What else is there out there for me? What other ways are there to take care of my health? What other treatment options are there? Um, what other ways, um, Where are there places to go?

38:41 Like, what other, what other ways should my body look like? A lot of times people are told their body has to look a certain way to be, you know, cute. And it literally depends on culture. And then all of a sudden now we don't fit into our culture because like we're too thin or we're too thick Based on our culture and there's literally nothing wrong with us It's literally just what the culture says and it's not our self esteem is impacted and that's both women and men as a photographer I've heard more from men complain about their bodies than women Interesting. all men, but I've heard it a lot. So, yeah, so, like, where other places can I go? Like, literally be curious.

39:22 Go out, meet new people. Because maybe, like, one friend group is all going to Vegas. Maybe another friend group, they're all going to Egypt. Maybe you don't want to go to either place. Maybe you don't want to go to Egypt either. Like, find a friend group that wants to go to Iceland. I want to go to Iceland. Who wants to go to Iceland with me? But, you know what I'm saying? Like, get curious. Like, what are the other things you have to ask questions? Like, who told me that? why do I think that? Why do I think it's weird that I want to do this? Why do I think it's weird to say no to something that everyone's telling me I should say yes and go along with? And, uh, I feel like journaling helps you speak out, uh, on that and process that because sometimes you don't, I've gone through times where I didn't know what I wanted.

40:11 And so I just defaulted to other people. I didn't give myself time to just slow down and identify what makes me excited. What? What gets me going? Why would I feel a little bit of reservation when someone says, let's go here, not knowing why until it's too late and you're there and you're like, Oh, I shouldn't have gone. You know, I've done that too many times and you know, it's still a journey onto that. And, um, would you like going? And I feel like that category would be self awareness and self sabotage with a lack of self awareness than their self sabotage. For me, it was. The sabotage of saying, why did you do that when you didn't want to, and just really being in that inner conflict and that curiosity piece that you said is huge because it's one of those, you don't know what you want until you go out and explore the things that make you happy.

41:03 So I definitely identify with that. What, um, I feel like the solution side of it, uh, would you say like a major key is journaling or are there other tools and tips that you suggest when it comes to like understanding you and what makes you happy and making those decisions for you? Yeah, I mean, journaling is definitely a tool. I have two forgiveness journals, one forgiveness, one evict beer. So I have two journals. I think journaling is, is, is great. Um, not everyone likes to write. You don't have to, you can get this, even though there's lines in it, you would not have to like write on it. You could draw, like journaling could even look like drawing.

41:45 Um, you know, vision boards, I feel like are a form of journaling. Um, I also feel movement is really good. Um, taking a walk. I get some of my best ideas when I'm driving, even. Like, not driving in New York City, but like if I'm out on the open road and just cruising along. Driving is really great, um, but not everyone has the luxury of a car, I understand, but walking. And I learned, um, that, I learned that there's like a reason for that, for walking. Because, um, what is it? Oh, shoot. Is it the hippocampus? Oh gosh. The, now I'm blinking on the word, the back part of our brain. That's like the, the, um, like the ancient part of our brain.

42:29 That's like, don't do that. Don't play with fire. Like, like, you know, and it stores like all the bad memories and it's like the fight and flight and all of that. medulla oblongata, of our brain. the, the reptilian, the, uh, the, yeah, like the, the pure animal part that we're still connected to. Yeah. Yeah. When we walk, I learned recently that like the lateral movements of our eyes. we're looking around when we're walking, we're looking at the trees, we're looking at the cars, we're looking at the birds, whatever, wherever we're at, um, the lateral movements of our eyes actually, um, slows down the signals between our reptilian brain and like the other parts of our brain.

43:10 can I add something in there real quick? I need to add something in there. I noticed that when looking at a phone for most of the day or screen, right? Where we have screens in front of us, we have our phones in front of us. And what does that do? It actually hinders. Our lateral movement of our eyes, and I noticed that myopia right being, I guess, nearsighted. You can't really see far that elongates your eyeball because you don't have the lateral movements as much and in doing exercises. One of the exercises to help you with that is literally doing lateral movement with your eyes. There's like I yoga, a book that I picked up and I noticed myself that, yeah, like if you, if you have glasses and, um, you grew up in, uh, front of screens a lot, especially this current, like more recent Gen Z, Gen X.

44:05 Uh, millennial looking left and looking right. You can, it's, it, you feel a little bit of a pressure. Um, and, and then also that helps with, um, neck movement too. Uh, I learned that if you close your eyes and look to the left for like 20 seconds, you actually extend your, your neck movement. And it's very interesting how to bring that back. I'm just making this connection like real time. Cause you said. With the lack of that lateral movement, it seems like you have a more intimate connection with that, um, flight or flight brain, which is not good. Yeah, and what is like, I mean, I was sharing this someplace else too, but like, especially in schools, when someone gets upset and they're angry, the first thing is like, go sit down and relax.

44:54 Well, that's actually the worst thing you can do because now you're sitting and you're stewing and like, And even for fear, right? Um, any of that, like getting, we have to get it out of our bodies because it's going to store in our bodies. Trauma is stored in our muscles. We have muscle memory. We have memory in our gut, which is really actually a whole lot of muscles. If you think about it, like my stomach, my intestines, those things are strong, right? Like the heart, that's a muscle, right? Then there's their brain, which I don't believe is a muscle. But again, I'm a coach, right? I give people strategies. I teach people's tools. I don't go to the science route, but we have like, and I learned that, um, you know, when I was taking a massage therapy course, um, that the trauma is stored in our muscles, like, and so yeah, we have to get it out.

45:43 We have to move our bodies and, and, and so movement is very key. Um, dance is really good as well. Um, I found personally for myself, um, in particular, I feel like for someone who's gone through a sexual trauma, whether it was like when they were a child or older, like, because you kind of disconnect with your body, whether you realize it or not, you kind of disconnect from parts of your body that were violated, but dance literally incorporates your body. And. You got to move your hips and you got to do all those things. And you really, without realizing it and without, cause people think, Oh, like I don't have time to heal because they don't want to have to like deal with the pain, but some of it can be like really natural and like 20 minutes of dancing around your kitchen can be like, you know, like you're literally reconnecting with your body and you're not realizing it and then, and think about the music that you put on while you're listening to your dancing.

46:43 Like the music you can do, like I have a playlist. called Speaks to My Soul and it just has like fun stuff. You know, you can create a playlist to like dance to or walk to or whatever. Um, yeah, That's pretty cool. What's uh, what's one song on that on that playlist? I'm like, what is what is Beth doing when It is, is so random. I have, um, I have Champion on there by Kanye. I have, uh.

47:25 by this woman who is like a Independent artist, Lydia, um, Caesar. I have come fly with me with Frank Sinatra. I a wide range. I I have, um, liberation with Sila. I have, yeah, I have a lot of different things. Um, I have a dance playlist too. I have like a dance fun where I have like dollar wine and jump around. Like, you know, that Jim, Jim, Jim. All Yes. There we go. I think like late 80s, early 90s Yeah. classic. I like, yeah, that's a nice widespread of genre, but yeah, like it's, it's, I, I agree.

48:08 And, uh, it's easy to forget the importance of dancing. It's not just being silly. It's, it's being, uh, having, what do you call it? Um, Taking ownership of your physical body when something bad might have happened, whether it be your situation, or a bad accident, or just bad things. And I can totally appreciate that. I have a history of dance myself, and it helped me connect with other people. As, uh, naturally a stiff bodied person having to learn how to get as close to a split as possible. So you can do some acrobatics, uh, for, uh, break dancing.

48:49 So that was just completely new for me. So it's one of those things where like, yeah, you could be a stiff person and still figure it out, you know, which is like, you have to be one of the most flexible people to do that. So. That was a lesson in itself, but I definitely agree with the importance of dance of, of getting out of your shell. Right? And you can do it at home. Um, it's definitely like an, uh, an overcoming of mental challenges, overthinking and, and self sabotage and, and all that. So it's huge, huge. Um, Wow, we went on a journey for sure here. I didn't know you were a big dreamer.

49:30 That's pretty cool. That's like, I'm like, man, this, this, I wasn't, I like having these conversations because you don't know what's going to come up. And, um, I liked that we went into the dream side of things and that can be a, uh, a crucial part of someone's journey to self awareness, um, forgiveness, self love and, and all of that and trying to understand what's the message behind it. That's pretty cool. Thank you. Yeah. I need to, I, I, um, I've been feeling like I, it's important to talk more about the dream aspect part of it. Um, recently. Yeah. I don't talk about it really. So yeah, it's yeah. I, but I know a lot of people struggle with.

50:11 this and they don't even realize what it means, Or talk to anybody about it, or even remember after like two minutes. Yeah, that's true too. It's true too. So, um, there, uh, now that we come to the part of the, uh, the interview process where we talk about, What you're doing, you said you have, uh, an event coming up and I know that like, uh, this is going against being evergreen as a, as a show, but, um, what's something that you're working on? Maybe that, uh, someone can appreciate to look into maybe knowing about it later on, or just what's going on in your world. Well, I mean, something that's evergreen is like these, both of these journals.

50:54 The For sure. and 20 Day Forgiveness Drink. Those are evergreen. They're, I'm not taking them off of Amazon. They're available. And, uh, so yeah, that's evergreen. I do have a four day challenge. So I don't know if you knew this. Did you know that June is men's, men's mental health awareness month? I did not know. That's good to know now. It is. So anyway, uh, I'm doing in June, the very first week, the full week, June third, four, five, and six. I'm doing an Evict Fear Challenge, so people can register for that, um, if they want, and it's free. The challenge is free. So, yeah.

51:34 Now, is it, is it, um, online and is it like, um, conversations? Like what, what would it entail? I'm curious. Yes, it's online. So it's zoom. So people could literally be in Argentina. And as long as Or Australia. and understand English because I don't speak Spanish, unfortunately, yet, um, not very well anyway. Uh, yeah. So they would be able to attend from literally anywhere in the world. Um, so yeah, it will be on zoom at 8 p. m. Eastern standard time each night and each night builds on each other. That's not like the same thing. Hmm. So each night it like builds a little bit and then I, um, give a lot more information.

52:15 It's a great companion to someone who has the journal or if someone's like, I don't know if I'd want the journal, like, you know what I'm saying? But it's just, um, it's a, it's like a great companion to the journal. And so, because it's additional information. And so we go through that and then there's discussion. Um, I always like hearing people's as well. So it's participatory. We do breakthrough activities. So you actually get some things like really practical out of it. And, and it sounds like you've done this multiple times. So if someone missed it because they found out about this episode and listened to it after the fact, um, I'm sure you'll, you'll do it again.

52:57 It's like a ongoing thing periodically type of thing. And, and your website, uh, they go to your website to find out more about these events or no, no, No, I don't have it on my website, but you can contact me through my website. So my website is level up. With beth. com so you could go to my website and you could message me through my website. You could email me. Um, my Instagram's there too. So you can connect that way. Um, through, you know, like through my website, you can contact me and be like, Hey, Beth, I heard on John's podcast. You say something about an evict fear workshop. What's up with that? When's the next one going to be?

53:39 And I can answer you. But I, yeah. Yeah. Cool deal. Cool deal. Well, awesome stuff. It was fun. Yeah. chat. Thank you. Thank you for having me. Hey, thanks for coming on.